Script Trip Daisuke tried to keep himself distracted while Hiroshi talked but found it impossible. There simply wasn’t anything that in the wrong that didn’t somehow relate to what Hiroshi was talking about. Galaxy Express posters, a Doraemon wall scroll, nearly forty video tapes all labeled as being commercials sat next to a a large television set where there was a Dating Simulation currently being played by the blue haired clone as he talked about what he said was the second most important thing in his life. Daisuke had almost given up on reading it as he was halfway through it, but Hiroshi would constantly ask if he was done making him continue reading it. Funny, he thought this would be a pleasant evening. --- He could remember how it started just like it was yesterday, which was pretty bad considering it had only happened two hours ago. Hiroshi had invited him over for dinner at his new apartment. Daisuke accepted expecting only a quiet meal, but that hope was quickly dashed when Hiroshi answered the door in a red Chinese shirt and black pants. “Hey Daisuke! The uncute tomboy is cooking up some dinner!” A plastic mallet came from behind Hiroshi and lightly hit him on the head. A monotone voice said, “Ranma you idiot.” Daisuke looked at Rei who was dressed in a school girl outfit. He turned his gaze back to Hiroshi who was jumping up and down in anticipation of a laugh. “Maybe I should explain the joke! You see” Hiroshi started, but Daisuke forced himself to emit a chuckle that came across more as a wheeze than anything resemlbing a laugh. “Oh Hiroshi. You and your antics. No wonder you have your own sit-com,” Daisuke said in as flat a tone as possible. “Jeeze, Daisuke! Are you gonna ever get over that?” “No.” “Okay! Now that that’s settled let me show you why I invited you here!” Hiroshi said as the three of them entered the apartment. The last thing Hiroshi said worried Daisuke and he ventured a guess. “Food?” “Nope! Even better!” Hiroshi then ran over to a couch that was in the center of the room and quickly picked up a huge stack of papers from it. He raced back to Daisuke and shoved it the direction of the young boy. “What’s this?” “The most important thing in my life-ow!” A plastic mallet once again impacted with his skull punctuating the last part of the Hiroshi’s sentence. Looking over at Rei Hiroshi smiled nervously and said, “Uh… I mean the second most important thing my life. Read the first page!” Daisuke did. He regretted it. “Space and Time: A Crossover Screen Play by Hiroshi Killer Preston Esquire?” “Cool huh?” “Killer Preston Esquire?” “Yeah, I figure when I’m cranking out movies I’ll need a cool name that will make everyone say, ‘That is one kick ass name! I’ll have to go see all of his movies!’” “And if he ever wants to take over the world no one would dare fight a man with such a bad ass name,” Rei added. “Thanks honey! I almost forgot about that,” Hiroshi said as he smiled at his girlfriend, but quickly turned his attention back to Daisuke. “So why don’t we sit down so you can look over my script.” --- “I don’t get it.” “What’s there to get? That’s the part where they talk about the Altered Beast dating sim.” “Exactly. An Altered Beast dating sim… It just doesn’t make sense.” Hiroshi set down the controller to his video game and sighed. “I guess I’ll have to write out for you. Altered Beast is about a skinny little guy who gains power ups by kicking wolves so that he can become a beefed up monster and save the princess! Just like in a dating sim.” “Except they’re totally different.” “Hmmm… Yeah. Are there any other problems?” “Well, there’s two hundred pages where you explain the way they travel through space.” Hiroshi closed his eyes and chuckled. “Yes, I thought it would be nice if a science fiction film contained a little science.” Daisuke’s eyebrow twitched as he said, “ Putting aside the ‘science’ the script’s only 30 pages. And the last 20 are just a car chase scene, which is really weird because the whole thing takes place in outer space. ” “So…?” Hiroshi asked anxiously. “Hiroshi, I’m gonna be honest with you…” “Yes…?” “I would give up many vital organs in the hopes that it would stop this from ever becoming a motion picture. If that should fail and it is released I would personally kill you before it causes the end of the world.” Hiroshi blinked and said, “You didn’t like it?” “No, I didn’t.” “Huh.” “Huh, indeed.” “Was it the Doraemon sex scene?” “Yes, it was the Doraemon sex scene. I will be forced to shove rusty nails into my corneas because I read that.” “Yeah, it was kind of gratuitous.” “Just a little.” “Was there anything about the script you liked?” “I liked that it ended.” “That’s not really constructive criticism.” “Ok. How about this: Never ever ever ever ever EVER write again. If you feel the need to do so please shove your hands into a blender and turn it on instead.” “Hm… That isn’t helping either.” “I know.” “…” “…” “I guess I’ll see if Rei has finished cooking dinner,” Hiroshi said as he got up and walked into the kitchen. Daisuke waited until he was sure Hiroshi was gone before cursing as he leafed through the script again. ‘Dammit! I thought I was the only one with the idea to make Altered Beast a dating sim!’ Daisuke angrily thought to himself.