*/\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* AUTHOR'S WARNING: This Omake has Slayers spoilers galore (as well as Ultra spoilers) in it. If you don't want to be spoiled, don't read any further. If you don't want to be spoiled and do read further, don't say you weren't warned. If you don't want to be spoiled, read further, and say you weren't warned, I will summon Dan Hibiki over to your house and have him taunt you until it's 2999. Also, there's a couple of curse words and a few instances of people shouting in caps. No animals were hurt in the making of this omake. Afterwards, however, is a far different story... */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* It's been almost two years, hasn't it, Lina? Honestly, I didn't think I'd ever see you again. But in the past, when I thought that, you'd always pop up with your idiot swordsman, Gourry, in tow. And then everyone's favorite (or least favorite, depending on the mood) justice freak, Amelia, would join the fold. Unfortunately, that brown-nosing Mazoku fruitcake, Xelloss, would tag along in our later adventures. It seems that we did everything from blasting bandits to thwarting the designs of Dark Lords. And though I'd never admit it to you or anyone else, adventuring with you was always entertaining. However, our getting together has always required the intervention of some sort of villain, demon or dark lord. This time is no exception, is it? */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* { M A G I C A L C R O S S O V E R } { F I G H T I N G F E D E R A T I O N } { .-----------. } { | U-L-T-R-A | } { `-----------' } { http://www.pixelscapes.com/improfanfic } Returning to the Fold An Ultra Omake Brought to you by Woofer-san (and the letter "Q") */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* It's odd to think that I've known you and your... interesting companions for the better part of three years now. When I explored the western continent of our home dimension, I often thought to myself how it only seemed like yesterday that we first crossed paths and swords. Many people find our first meeting, and the friendship that followed, peculiar to say the least. Back then, I was too obsessed with my own agenda to think of you as anything but an uppity brat who didn't know about the plots and deceits transpiring around you. My effortless kidnapping of you did nothing to disprove that impression. I do admit that your resistance to the interrogation of my men piqued my interest. And later, as we fled from that damned mad Red Priest, my opinion of you became positive gradually as we thwarted what seemed like an endless barrage of monster traps and ambushes. But what seemed even more amazing to me was your acceptance of my monstrous appearance. For a brief moment, I was sure that you, Gourry, Zolff, Rodimus and I would come out on top. Then Rezo awoke Shabranigdo, who massacred my two best friends and loyal allies as we stood, helpless and powerless to protect them, let alone defeat the revived Dark Lord. After our retreat, I sank into despair. I knew that I had to fight, if for no other reason than to avenge Zolff and Rodimus, but I honestly felt that I would be destroyed just as easily. Gourry felt similar despair. I watched you gorge yourself with disgust, wondering how you could be so callous. I kicked myself for that thought as your inspirational retort to our defeatist resignations instilled a new hope in us. I still remember the list of life's experiences that you wanted to encounter, and how you proclaimed, with a wink and a smile, "That's why, when I go to fight Shabranidgo, I'm going to win!" It was amazing that I entered that fateful battle, believing that we stood any chance at all. It was even more amazing, however, when we... no, YOU reduced Shabranidgo to rubble. We were beaten and bruised, and you were completely drained, but you were still joy and smiles. When we parted ways, I had hoped that we would cross paths again. But since you and your bodyguard were looking for a quick buck and a plethora of food, and I was scouring the countryside for any semblance of a cure to my condition, that seemed unlikely. It's ironic that I have a reason to be grateful to Eris and Kopii Rezo. Though they were misguided, careless bastards, they did bring us together again, along with Amelia and Sylphiel, the shy priestess who happens to be quite taken with Gourry. Were it not for the urgency and severity of our situation, I probably would have enjoyed the few minor skirmishes you and Sylphiel had over Gourry. But the reunion was not a happy one in the slightest. Not only was Sairaag devastated by Kopii Rezo, but we were all but convinced that you, too, fell at his hands. I can still remember shaking with anger while Gourry cried over your fallen body. Preserving a calm and rational mindset was next to impossible as Sylphiel struggled to save you. Granted, that the appearance of Prince Phil didn't help matters any, but that was a drop in the bucket compared to your condition. I remembered the words you told me before we fought Shabranidgo, and, by some miracle and help from Amelia and Gourry, we were able to buy you the time you needed to come back and save the day again. A year passed as I continued my quest for my cure. There were many times that I wondered what adventures you and your merry band were undertaking. Though I should have been able to predict such an event, I was surprised as our paths crossed again thanks to more delusional crackpots. That time, Princess Martina and her father had deluded me into thinking that they had the Claire Bible, possibly the only real lead to the cure for my condition. I was ready to fight you to get that cure. I wasn't necessarily willing, but a job was a job. At least, it was until I found out that they never had the Claire Bible. Once again, we were on the same side. Though I wouldn't have admitted it to anyone, least of all that accursed Xelloss, it was good to see you again. It was the first time in a year that I dealt with someone who wasn't visibly disturbed by my appearance. Our quest for the Claire Bible had many drawbacks. No small amount of them you brought on yourself. I can guarantee you that I don't look back at the whole "Dragon Cuisine" fiasco with any fondness at all. But, in theme with our "reunions", there were villains and masterminds responsible for it. We had managed to get ourselves drawn into a Dark Lord Civil War between Gaav and Phibrizo, along with Martina, Sylphiel, Zangulus and all of Sairaag. I remember how distraught you and Sylphiel were when Phibrizo kidnapped Gourry, and how worried we all were as the Lord of Nightmares pulled you away. I was glad that Gourry managed to rescue you. I was slightly disappointed that I didn't. After Martina's wedding, we went our separate ways once more. I resigned myself to the fact that you and Gourry were meant for each other, and I hoped that Sylphiel would come to this realization and handle it as well as I did. Another year of fruitless searching passed. Convinced that no cure existed on our continent, I didn't hesitate to involve myself with the exploration into the Western continent. I had expected to see Amelia there since Sailoon was one of the leading forces of the expedition. It was a pleasant surprise seeing you and Gourry again, though I couldn't help but wonder what dark forces we would end up battling. At first, I had thought that Filia, with her enigmatic appearance and "testing" of our abilities, would be the antagonist. Discovering that Valgarv was the real enemy did not bring me any comfort at all. Having Xelloss follow us at every step seemed to make the situation worse. But in the end, in typical Lina fashion, you banded us together to save the day, and we went our separate ways once more. Though the Western continent was an amazing and exciting chance for exploration, and though I was grateful for Sailoon's support, I couldn't find anything close to a cure to my condition. Nor did I find anyone nearly as talented, entertaining, capable, and, yes, I will admit, insightful as you and your "fan club". Then, one evening, I received a most interesting message from Amelia. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "ZELGADIS-SAN!" Amelia shouted, startling Zelgadis, who tried to regain his balance. "YEARGH! Amelia, don't do that!" Zelgadis scolded, "I happen to be climbing a rather steep cliff at the moment! Even with my stone skin, I don't think I could survive the fall." Sheepishly, Amelia replied, "I'm sorry, Zelgadis-san. Just contact me when you're at a safe place, okay?" Zelgadis sighed. He didn't want to keep the princess waiting, so he cast Ray Wing and floated to the top of the peak. He then focused his stare on the talisman that Amelia had given him. It served as a two-way communication between him and Sailoon. "Okay, what is it, Amelia?" "I thought you might want to hear the news, Zelgadis-san," Amelia explained, "Lina and Gourry have left this planet to participate in some sort of tournament." "WHAT?!?" Zelgadis practically shouted. This time, it was Amelia's turn to scold Zelgadis. "Aie! How mean, Zelgadis-san! You made me spill my drink on my new dress. Waaaah!" Zelgadis sighed, a drop of sweat forming on the back of his head. "Sorry about that. Now, about Lina and Gourry..." Amelia continued, "Oh! I almost forgot! Lina and Gourry are involved in some fighting tournament. I think it's called..." Zelgadis could hear the rustling of papers. "Ah! I got it! It's Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting Federation Ultra! Doesn't it sound cool?" Zelgadis paused. "What is it?" Another long pause ensued. "I'm not entirely sure." Zelgadis facefaulted. Regaining his composure, he snarled, "You're not entirely sure? Did any of you ever stop and think that it was a trap?!?" Amelia perkily responded, "Oh, that universe's God ensured us that it wasn't." Zelgadis paused again. "That universe's what?" "That universe's God," Amelia answered. "Her name is Kasumi, and she's like the Lord of Nightmares. Except that she's nice, she can cook really well, she's not conceited, and she's not gold. Hmmm... I guess she's not like the Lord of Nightmares at all..." Zelgadis groaned. He had seen 2 of the Lord of Nightmares's four Dark Lords, 2 of Shabranidgo's generals, countless monsters, and even Lina in not one but two dresses. But this news from Amelia was far too much for him to digest. "Let me get this straight," Zelgadis spoke, slowly and hesitantly. "Some Dark Lord from another dimension..." Amelia interrupted, "I don't think she was a Dark Lord. I think she was a God." Zelgadis continued, "Okay... some God from another dimension asks Lina and Gourry to participate in some fighting tournament..." Amelia corrected, "Well, she only wanted Lina. Gourry tagged along, insisting that he was her bodyguard." Zelgadis tried again, "Okay... some God from another dimension asks Lina to participate in some fighting tournament in another dimension. And she just nods her head dumbly and says 'OK'?" "Pretty much!" Amelia answered. "AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?" Zelgadis shouted. "You're scaring me, Mr. Zelgadis-san!" Amelia whined. Then, in her justice-speech tone, she continued, "Kasumi-kami-sama seemed really nice, and Lina wanted to try out new foods and get new treasures, so she leapt at the opportunity! And furthermore, she agreed to have Sailoon sponsor her! So now we can spread justice and love to other dimensions! Surely, the way of the righteous will leave its mark for all people in all universes to see, right, Zelgadis-san? Zelgadis-san?" "So... Lina's gone, then... gone for good," Zelgadis realized, sounding somewhat depressed. "We won't see her ever again, will we?" "Of course we will! We get to watch her every week on this invention that Kasumi left us! She calls it a teevee! It's really cool, Zelgadis-san! You should come by and see it when..." "Zelgadis out," Zelgadis interrupted, dissipating the spell that activated the communication link between him and Sailoon. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* At the time, I thought that was the end. You were in another dimension, and here I was, travelling this planet, looking with all my might for something that probably doesn't exist. I sighed. I looked back at all the time I spent searching and looking for some way to reverse my chimera condition. What a waste. I could have been enjoying life with you, Gourry, and the rest. But I had to be the down-to-earth, responsible, duty-bound member of the group. I always insisted that you and your pals stop goofing off, that you put down your food and talk seriously, that you stop enjoying life so I could wallow in my own self pity and be some mix between a quiet, serious loner and a dark sorcerer and swordsman. I spent so much time trying to become human again, I didn't realize that I had all but forsaken my humanity. And now, you, my best friend, were out of reach forever. Suddenly, it all seemed pointless. The exploration of the Western continent and the search for a cure meant nothing to me. The one person who actually treated me like a human being had left for greener pastures. Amelia was nice, but she treated me like I were some sort of dashing manga hero. It wasn't the same, and her royal servants were unnerved, if not downright disgusted, by my appearance and demeanor. The next day, I informed Amelia that I was going to terminate my expidition and return to Sailoon to turn in my results and collect my payment. Though her father put up a mighty protest, I made my position clear and my will obeyed. I journeyed at a slow pace, lost in my own thoughts. I was surprised at the surprisingly uneventful trip back. Surely I thought that some bandits, fanged monster, or Xelloss would pop up and take advantage of my depressed state. I would have been a seven-course meal to that damn priest. As per the tradition with all things pertaining to Lina, I was not prepared for what happened when I returned to Sailoon. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Zelgadis was escorted into the castle by 4 nervous armored guards. "Your Majesties," the Captain of the Guard announced, "Zelgadis Greywers is here to..." "DON'T DO IT, LINA-SAN!" Amelia and Phil shrieked at the top of their lungs, causing Zelgadis and the guards to fall like bowling pins. Zelgadis leapt to his feet and dashed in the direction of the yells. Drawing his sword, he shouted, "I'm on my way!" His mind raced as he pondered the nearly endless possibilities of what was transpiring. Was Lina going to cast the Giga Slave? Had she been possessed by evil? Maybe if he was lucky, she was trying to sing or beat up Phil, but he seriously doubted that. Zelgadis burst into the throne room, reducing the large oak doors in his way into a pile of splinters. He saw Amelia and Phil crouching next to a glowing box. "It's a bomb! RAY WING!" Zelgadis chanted as he grabbed Amelia and Phil and hid behind the thrones. "Are you two okay?" "YOU FOOL!" Phil shouted, lifting Zelgadis four feet of the ground and throttling recklessly, "HOW CAN YOU DO THAT TO US WHEN LINA IS FIGHTING FOR JUSTICE AND HER VERY SOUL AGAINST THE MOST EVIL OF EVILS?!? EVEN A PACIFIST LIKE ME CAN'T FORGIVE THIS! EVERLASTING PEACE AND LOVE ATOMIC CRUSHER!" The last thing Zelgadis saw before passing out was the ground running into his face 13 times. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* When I regained consciousness, I felt like I had been hit by hundreds of cannonballs. Amelia and Phil watched over me. They looked like a pair of wounded puppy dogs with their watery eyes and deep frowns. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "Wha... what happened to Lina?" I asked weakly. "Um... er... that match ended in a draw," Amelia confessed. Sheepishly, Phil wrung his hands and muttered, "Sorry about beating you senseless. I guess I got carried away with the moment." Zelgadis sat up, noticing the scratches and dents in his stone skin. "I'll live," Zelgadis remarked stiffly. "But what about Lina? Is she okay?" Amelia burst into tears. "Oh, Zelgadis-san," Amelia wailed, "Lina-san is fighting this God of Hate that brainwashed my sister and is picking on a bunch of karate guys.! And some big guy that thinks he's a bison is kidnapping girls and forcing them to do evil things! And then there's some guy named Gorey that sets fire to little girls while villains with bad haircuts summon monsters from funny-looking soccer balls!" Grabbing Zelgadis's shoulders, she continued her rant. "But it gets worse! Xelloss is there! And some guy who calls himself Controversial Jack must be working for the Lord of Nightmares because he says that he's a force of chaos! And millions of people shout and scream every week because the commentators die every month and are brought back by the Dark Lord Nerv! And that nice God lady isn't doing anything about it but saying 'Oh my!' and asking if everybody is having a good time!" Convinced that he was still unconscious and dreaming, Zelgadis fell back onto the bed and returned to sleep. "I think he took that rather well," Phil concluded. Amelia chuckled nervously and scratched the back of her head, where a large bead of sweat was beginning to form. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* The second time I regained consciousness was no less painful or confusing as the first time. My entire body ached, but Amelia and Phil were not hovering over me. This respite gave me an opportunity to gather my thoughts. I entered the castle. Phil and Amelia were pleading Lina not to do something. They were crouched in front of a glowing box. Mistaking it for a bomb, I pulled them away from it. Then Phil gave a loud speech followed by gratuitous abuse. I pondered these facts for a few minutes until realization struck. Lina must have been trapped in that box, and Amelia and Phil were watching her helplessly! But who could create a subspace that could fit into a box the size of a small chair? That's when I remembered what Amelia told me a few months ago. "We get to watch her every week on this invention that Kasumi left us! She calls it a teevee!" Oh, hell. That Kasumi lady created a subspace pocket, filled it with hostile monsters, and trapped Lina and Gourry into it. What a nice God, setting up an elaborate deathtrap so that we could watch Lina and Gourry as they are slowly tortured and eventually killed. A woman after Rezo's heart... and ripping everybody else's out of their chest. With much difficulty, I got out of bed, my head awash with dull throbbing. I forced myself to walk to the throne room, where my legs gave out. I looked at the devellish teevee. It was a wood box with some sort of bubble-type screen. But the screen, which was once giving out light, was dark. Again, my heart sank. Did this mean that Lina and Gourry... Lina... No. No! NO! */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Prince Phil awoke to a loud shout of "LINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!", eminating from the throne room. Not bothering to change out of his nightshirt, he darted to the throne room, taking the quickest course. This, unfortunately for the castle's masons, meant that Phil smashed through several stone walls. Amelia fell off her bed as a result of Phil's destructive dash. She rushed towards the direction of the commotion, still in her nightgown. Phil arrived first at the throne room. There, he saw Zelgadis, kneeling and sobbing in front of the television that Kasumi had left behind. "What's wrong, Zelgadis?" Phil asked. "Eh-heh, you're not in too much pain about the beating, are you?" "She's gone..." Zelgadis muttered. "She's dead. The subspace pocket... it's not there anymore. She's gone. I was too late." "Zelgadis-san," Amelia whispered sorrowfully as she gently hugged Zelgadis's shoulders. "It's all right. I'm sure Lina-san is okay." "But she's not!" Zelgadis continued. "That device... it's... it's..." "Off?" Phil guessed. Zelgadis could only nod. "Well, we only get one station, and we only watch it when Lina is on," Phil explained. Zelgadis turned on Phil, anger in his eyes. "You idiot! Don't you realize that that Kasumi... monster is holding Lina and Gourry in there so they can be tortured and killed?" Amelia and Phil looked blankly at Zelgadis. Zelgadis turned to the teevee again. He lamented, "Since it's no longer showing anything, it can only mean that Lina and Gourry are..." "...not on the air again until next week?" Phil asked. Zel growled at Phil. "How can you be so damn casual about this! They're dead, you ass!" Confused, Phil replied, "They are?" "Oh, I get it!" Amelia interrupted. "You don't know how a teevee works, do you?" Zelgadis faced Amelia. "What? You do?" Amelia nodded, then walked towards the television. "Kasumi explained it to us when she brought it here. Once a week, we turn it on to watch the tournament that I told you about. The show usually lasts an hour. When it's finished, we turn it off until next week." "But... but... what about the subspace pocket?" Zelgadis asked lamely. Amelia explained, "It's not a subspace pocket, Zelgadis-san. It's a window to another dimension. When it's on, it acts as a window to another dimension. In theory, people in other dimensions could use teevees to watch us if they wanted." "That's a disturbing thought," Phil mused. "So... just because it's not on..." Zelgadis pondered. "Doesn't mean that they are dead!" Amelia concluded. "Well, not necessarily. They could die between shows. In that case, we'd have to wait until next week to find out about it." That was no comfort to Zelgadis. "I see," Zelgadis whispered. "Please stay here. I need a moment to regain my composure." Amelia and Phil watched as Zelgadis left the room. "Father?" Amelia spoke up. "Yes, daughter?" Phil replied. "Do... do you think Zelgadis-san is right? About Kasumi keeping Lina-san and Gourry-san there to be tortured and killed?" Phil thought about that for a minute, then mused, "You know, he may be on to something. Even if that Kasumi God isn't a monster, that last fight took a heavy toll on that poor girl." Amelia nodded at her father. A moment later, Zelgadis returned to the throne room. "My apologies for losing my head," Zelgadis started in a calm, firm voice, "I didn't know what that teevee was. But that's not enough to dismiss all my fears. As far as I'm concerned, Lina and Gourry are in danger. And I have every intention of following them and helping them." Phil embraced Zelgadis into a bear hug, sobbing, "You are so brave and selfless! If only all men were like you!" Zelgadis tried in vain to squirm out of Phil's hug. "But how are you going to get there, Zelgadis-san? We can't use the teevee for teleportation," Amelia stated. "That's right," a soft, feminine voice added. Zelgadis, Amelia and Phil looked around. "Kasumi-kami-sama?" Amelia asked. "Hai," Kasumi replied as she appeared behind the television. Zelgadis drew his sword and pointed it at Kasumi. "So, you're that Kasumi that everybody is talking about," he said, his voice dripping with contempt. Kasumi looked hurt and saddened at Zelgadis's reaction. Though she knew the answer, she asked, "Zelgadis-san, why do you address me with such hatred?" "Because you kidnapped Lina and Gourry and are forcing Amelia and Phil to watch their torture!" Zelgadis shouted, his face contorting in anger. Kasumi let out a sigh. She walked towards Zelgadis. Every fiber in his body demanded that he swing his sword, cast a spell, or do something. But it was as if he were stuck to the spot. He broke out in a sweat and gritted his teeth as Kasumi gently placed her hand on Zelgadis's cheek. "You... you're concerned about Lina," she spoke in a voice that Zelgadis found harmonic and soothing. "That is so sweet. She's very lucky to have a friend such as you, Zelgadis Greywers-san." Zelgadis could feel his anger and spite melt away. She was the exact opposite of the dark demons that he had faced in the past, and nothing like the dark demon he thought he was to face. It was as if she radiated love and joy. Zelgadis relaxed the grip on his sword, and it fell to the ground with a loud clattering. But he could not tear his gaze away from Kasumi. "But... but why... why is she fighting all the time?" Zelgadis queried in an uneasy stutter. "You know the answer to that, Zelgadis-san," Kasumi explained. "I can understand how you think that I am a merciless monster, but I can assure you that Lina is not in mortal peril. But if you do not believe me, I would be more than happy to bring you to the Ultradome to visit her." Zelgadis's battle instinct returned, and he took a step back. "But that will mean that I'll be trapped in another dimension for the rest of my life, won't it?" Zelgadis guessed. With a smile, Kasumi answered, "Of course not, Zelgadis-san! You may return any time you wish." "And Lina and Gourry?" Kasumi paused, then explained, "They, too, are free to leave if they so desire. But I don't think Lina will want to go anywhere until she has taken care of Orochi." "Orochi?" Zelgadis parroted. Phil interrupted, "Orochi is another God. He's a God of hate that possesses people and talks about rotting blood all the time." Amelia continued, "And he [TALKS] like [THIS], which gives us a [HEADACHE]." Kasumi laughed nervously. "I guess he does, doesn't he?" "So let me get this straight. You're going to take me to this Ultradome place where I can see Lina. And I can come and go as I please. Lina and Gourry can come and go as they please, too. So what do you get out of it?" Zelgadis asked. Apologetically, Kasumi replied, "I'm afraid that I just can't explain the will of God. All I can tell you is that you and your friends can come and go as you please. All I ask is that you trust me." Zelgadis thought about this. He was hesitant to place blind trust in her or anyone, yet she seemed so... polite and wholesome. Was she really, as Amelia described, an exact opposite of the Lord of Nightmares? And what guarantee would he have of seeing Lina if he were to play along with this? What backup plan would he have if it was a trap? In the end, none of it mattered. The fact remained that the only for him to get to Lina was through Kasumi. Bowing his head down, he slowly requested, "Please take me to Lina Inverse, Kasumi." */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Kasumi had given me time to say goodbyes to Prince Phil and Princess Amelia. Both droned on in sobs about what a brave young man I was and suffocated me within an inch of my life. When they let me go, it felt like reality swirled around me and reformed. I hadn't moved a step, and yet I was no longer in the Sailoon Royal Castle. I was in front of what looked like a gargantuan domed arena. Kasumi was gone. I felt to make sure I had my sword, feeling that this may be a trap after all. I walked towards a set of doors, inspected them for any sign of traps, then cautiously opened the doors leading into what I assumed to be the Ultradome. I knew for certain that this was a trap when Xelloss was the first... THING... I saw inside. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "Zelgadis-san! Welcome to Ultra!" Xelloss cheered, swinging pompoms around wildly in the air. "Are you ready for some of that Ultra-vi - GACK!" Xelloss's cheer was cut off by Zelgadis shoving a pom-pom down Xelloss's throat. "What the hell are you doing here?" Zelgadis barked. Xelloss removed the pom-pom from his throat, then defensively backed away from Xelloss. "Hey, don't get hot and flustered! I'm not a Mazoku anymore! I've switched sides! I'm working for Kasumi now! Really! So just put that sword down, and..." "WHAT?" Zelgadis roared. "You're working for Kas... DAMN IT! I KNEW this was a trap!" "No no no no no..." Xelloss interupted, jittery. "You see... Kasumi-kami-sama thought it would be a good idea for a familiar face to show you to Lina's room. No tricks! Honest!" "If it's all the same to you, I'll find my own way," Zelgadis spat, his sword pointed at Xelloss's neck. "Zel... may I call you Zel? Let me tell you; I am soooooo okay with that. Go up two flights on those stairs over there and turn left at the second corridor. It will be the third door on your right. But you'll have to remove your sword from my neck first," Xelloss explained. Zelgadis slowly removed his sword. "Get out of my sight. NOW," Zelgadis commanded. Xelloss vanished in a blink, warning in an echo, "You're not going to last long here with an attitude like that, Zelgadis-san..." Cursing under his breath, Zelgadis climbed the stairs and sprinted to Lina's room. Even without Xelloss's directions, he could have guessed the right room. Gourry was standing outside it. "Gourry? Is that you?" Zelgadis called out. Gourry looked at Zelgdais and smiled widely. He shouted, "Hey! It's you! It's good to see you!" Gourry paused. "Who are you again?" Zelgadis sank down to the floor in a slow facefault. "Zelgadis!" Zelgadis barked as he picked himself up. "Oh! I remember you now!" Gourry exclaimed. "What brings you here?" Before Zelgadis could answer, the door that Gourry was guarding flew open, and a pillow hit his head. Lina stormed out of the room in a nightgown, shouting "Gourry, you jerk! I'm trying to sleep in here, and you're shouting at Zelgadis so loud that I can't... ...Zelgadis?" Zelgadis smiled at Lina. "Yo." Lina walked over to Zel and playfully punched him on the shoulder. "Long time, no see, Zel! Are you still looking for a cure? If so, I don't think you'll..." Lina stopped when she noticed that Zelgadis was... hugging her. Lina's face flushed a deep shade of red. "EEK! PERVERT!" Lina screamed at the top of her lungs. "FIREBALL!" Zelgadis's body hit the hallway wall with a large thud. He let his body fall face-first into the floor. "What the hell was that for?" Lina shrieked angrily, stomping towards Zelgadis and dragging a frightened Gourry with her. Zelgadis, despite his better judgement, found himself smiling. "Well, if you really want to know, I have to warn you that it is a LONG story." Lina stared with confusion at Zelgadis, who started to laugh. A few seconds later, Lina found herself laughing. Gourry, who didn't know what was going on, watched a moth flutter around his head. "I'll tell you what, Zel. Let me get dressed, then you can buy us dinner and tell us about it. Okay?" Zelgadis stood up, a genuine smile on his face. He stated, "I would like that very much." */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* It's been almost two years. Two years too long. When I explored the Western continent of my home dimension, I was always on alert, ready for the first sign of danger. How odd, now, that I sit in a foreign and potentially hostile dimension, comforted by watching you and Gourry gorge yourselves. Whatever hardships you two have endured haven't been enough to drastically change your personalities. Listening to your battles, conflicts and allies was both odd and compelling. There was no doubt in my mind that there were some sick, dark monsters within this so-called "fighting federation". Once again, the forces of evil pave the way for our reunion. Some things transcend the dimensions, don't they, Lina? You tell me about Akuma, Orochi, Sephiroth, Bison and Controversial Jack, and how their intents threaten every living thing. You speak of your new allies: Naga, Darshu, and the Spirit of Shokotan. Once again, Lina Inverse is the leader of the pack. Once again, Lina Inverse faces incredible odds against indominatible foes while an irritating Trickster Priest beleaguers her every step. And once again, Lina Inverse is going to come out on top. How do I know you're going to win? You have that same wink and smile that you gave me and Gourry before and after destroying Shabranigdo. And I'm going to be there to watch you triumph. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* "So you're going to stay here?" Lina asked, surprised. Zelgadis nodded. "Maybe I could be a guest commentator. Or perhaps I could teach you some fighting moves so you don't get KOed by Akuma again," he teased. Lina shouted, "How about I KO you instead?" Zelgadis and Gourry snickered. "Well, I'm still tired from my fight with that scumbag, Orochi. Maybe you could Ra-Tilt him for me after we rescue Sakura. What do you think, Zel?" Lina thought out loud. "I think you and your boyfriend should get some sleep," Zelgadis answered. "Lina has a boyfriend?!?" Gourry blurted out, dumbfounded. Lina punched Gourry on the head and threw him into their room. "I'd punch you, but your skin..." Lina explained. Zel nodded. With a small amount of confusion and concern, Lina whispered, "Zel... if you're going to stay here... you're probably not going to find your cure. And I may be here a while." Zelgadis shrugged. "If a cure does exist, it's not going to sprout legs and run off, right?" Lina laughed. "Why, Zel," Lina exclaimed, "I believe you just told a joke!" "Who, me?" Zelgadis replied as he walked off. "Good night, Lina." "Good night, Zel. Don't forget that you owe me a lunch tomorrow!" Zel stumbled, thought about protesting, then decided against it. Xelloss appeared in front of Zelgadis. "So," chided Xelloss, "did you kiss her?" "Just take me to my room," Zelgadis commanded. Xelloss replied in a huff, "Fine. Be that way." */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Lina, you don't think I'll find my cure here. Perhaps I should have explained to you that I'm not exactly searching for the same thing as when I started scouring our dimension's lands. But my guess is that you already know that. Perhaps I need to be human in spirit before I can be human in flesh. Or maybe being human in spirit is enough. At any rate, I think I may be here a while as well. */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* */\* Author's note: (F-Sharp) Two Omakes in one day! What does it mean when one puts off one omake by writing two different omakes? (In case you're wondering, I don't know. If you do, please tell me.) Yup, I'm a Slayers fan with a Zel/Lina bias. How could you tell? 8) Zelgadis is my favorite Slayers character. I think he's the most realistic of the main characters. This is just my guess as to how Zelgadis would react to hear that Lina left for another dimension to lock horns with yet another Dark Lord, especially one who [TALKS] like [THIS]. And I don't remember the other Ultra chapters mentioning Zelgadis. Maybe this will give someone on the cue an idea. I don't own the rights to any of the characters in the story. I'm not making any money whatsoever in writing this title. This is a fanfic, written solely for fun and typing practice. Puh-leeze don't sue. Don't Blinky, Pinky, Inky or Clyde, either. And if you laughed at that joke, please seek psychiatric help. Many thanks to all who have contributed to Ultra, inspiring me to get off my fanny and actually write something. Thanks also go to Sephiroth Zero and Theria, whose Slayers fanfiction and equally strong Zel/Lina bias gave me an idea or two while cranking this omake out. Please send c&c (but no flames) to scottwat@scf.usc.edu.