{ M A G I C A L C R O S S O V E R } { F I G H T I N G F E D E R A T I O N } { .-----------. } { | U-L-T-R-A | } { `-----------' } { http://www.pixelscapes.com/improfanfic } Omake: Thicker Than Water Written by Kristen Smirnov m.t.c.f.f. ULTRA created by Stefan Gagne * * * * * Wai, it's my first foray into Improfic! This is a storyline I've been waiting for someone to use, even as a throw-away plot, ever since the very first episode. Then I thought...hey, throw-away plot...why, this sounds like an OMAKE! And thus was this born. If you have some deep burning desire to send commentary on this, they can be addressed to kristen@smirnov.net (whee, electronic narcissism is fun!). This isn't a serious piece by any means, though, and should be taken as such. In other words...don't think about it too much, and everyone will be happier ^_^. This was written before Beta, although due to a screw-up on my part it's being posted after . Oh well. Pretend it took place before. * * * * * "What? You would be so foolish as to bar the great Kunou Tatewaki from your ranks? Well, then, I shall take my leave of you, until which time you have seen the error of your ways and come before me, prostrate, in hopes I shall grace your pathetic stable! And then, when I have proven my superiority once and for all, I shall take my vengeance for your deception, Saotome, and make you pay! And *I* shall be known as the greatest of the Nerima warriors, and you shall be known for the sniveling coward you are!" There was a collective blink among the occupants of the small rec room. Twisting his neck around, Ranma Saotome peered over the top of the couch to face the irate kendoist. "Yo, Kunou, you say something?" For a long moment, there was silence. Kunou's left eye twitched. "How dare you say such I believe I will now be leaving in search of people who can appreciate my greatness I bid you farewell." The abrupt topic change came when the teen had raised his bokken overhead, only to hear the familiar sound of an adorable electrified Pokémon happily chirping. Let it not be said that Kunou couldn't learn from his former mistakes, for he quickly lowered his weapon and nearly rushed out of the door, eager to avoid a repeat electrocution. Ranma blinked once, shrugged, and turned back to the TV. Moving his hand to the cushion beside him, he didn't pick up the remote, raise it, and change the channel from the show it was currently playing. "Hey," he said, finally realizing the remote had vanished, "Who changed the channel? I was watching Dragonball." Glancing up from the shaky card table that served as Team Nerima's base of operations, Toufu Ono smiled apologetically. "Sorry, Ranma. But Ultra Rage Beta(tm) is coming up, and we need to take notes on any moves your opponents might use. They might not have used them all before, after all. Even Cologne is out right now, spying on the other opponents. We're all working for the common good here." Grumpily, Ranma threw himself back against the couch back. "I can't believe I'm stuck watching Pokémon. Even for research. Who would actually screw up when fighting these guys?" From the other end of the couch, Shampoo flushed a deep crimson. Ranma's faux paux went, naturally, unnoticed. Slamming his fist down on the aforementioned card table, Ryouga Hibiki let out a low growl of frustration. "This is insane! How are we supposed to prepare against all of these fighters?" Toufu looked down at where the table used to be before it crumpled to a pathetic heap on the floor. "Ryouga, you broke the table again." The bandanned boy glanced down. "Oh. Whoops." Kneeling, he straightened out the legs and pounded the working surface into a rough approximation of flat. Stacking the notes that had been scattered across the floor back in their "office space," he returned to his work. Toufu sighed, and tried to do the same. From the couch, Ranma asked the expected question. "What're you botherin' for? I won't lose, not in the Gamma match, and not in the Free-For-All." The expected question had been, of course, followed by the expected boast, and then by the expected slide-four-feet-to-the-right motion as Shampoo tried to slither into his lap. Normally, Mousse would have attempted to pound Ranma on general principle after an occurrence like this, but he was at the other end of the rec room, in the midst of a furious round of Foosball. Had he been wearing his glasses, he might have picked up on the fact that not only was Ryouga not playing against him as he thought, but that no one was. And that not only was he playing alone, he was losing. Badly. Turning his chair - and holding his breath while he did so the table didn't wobble any more than it already was - Dr. Toufu explained, "Because we need to increase Team Nerima's visibility, Ranma. We've been losing ground recently, which is why we're headquartered here." Ranma shrugged. "This ain't so bad. If we scoot that game table outta the way, there's room to practice, and I like the TV." Peering over his glasses in the way only an older person in a position of authority can, the good doctor asked, "And do you like having our stable headquarters be the rec room for the entire Fighting Federation?" "Well...." "Did you like discussing your upcoming fights during that great Foosball deathmatch between Wolverine and Rico two weeks back?" "That wasn't that bad...." "Wouldn't it be nice to have a room we can lock, considering I heard Morrigan say that 'that pigtailed kid is kind of cute, in a too-clothed kind of way?'" Ranma considered this information for a long moment. Shampoo took the opportunity to scootch on over and wrap her arms around the glory that was Ranma, and to hold onto that glory with a grip tight enough to choke a wildebeest just in case that glory wasn't too hot on the idea. With a "gak," Ranma tumbled off the couch, Shampoo landing on him and pressing the most interesting parts of their bodies together. Mousse, meanwhile, had discovered the air hockey table. He'd also stolen a few of the pucks as possible new weapons. Always aware of his surroundings, that boy. Taking Ranma's pathetic pleas for help as a "yes," Dr. Toufu nodded briskly. "Well. There we go. I bet if all three of you can win your fights, our new HQ will be the best the Ultradome has to offer." The plot just kept moving right along after Toufu's prediction. All five occupants being martial artists, they all felt the new presence in the doorway at the same time. Yes, even Mousse, who still hadn't discovered the situation with Ranma and Shampoo. "We wish to join Team Nerima." Not even turning around, Ryouga replied, "I thought you said you were leaving, Kunou....you're not a 'we.'" Now he turned around, and paled. Much like everyone else did. Standing there like twins, though only if one twin was short and wrinkled and one tall and built like a bendy straw, was Team Hentai. Ataru smirked. "You heard him. We wanna join the Team Nerima stable." Shampoo was apparently surprised enough at this turn of events for Ranma to have escaped from her, because he was now in front of the two perverts, glaring. "And why do you think we'd let you in, huh?" Whipping out a blackboard and chalk, Happosai hurriedly scribbled some kanji on it; not that anyone could read it, his handwriting being so bad, but it helped the effect. So did the tweed jacket with leather elbow patches that had appeared out of nowhere. "'Team Nerima.' Ataru and I are fighters in the Federation, and we are from Nerima. Hence, we belong in this stable." Using the same reasoning he'd used not long prior on Kunou, Ranma simply responded, "But we don't want you in." Happosai seemed to take this in stride, but Ataru visibly crumbled. "No! You have to let us in! Because you're such a cutie when you're a girl and so's Shampoo, even though she's crawling all over you instead of me like she should be-" "WHAT?" "Oh, great, Duck Boy picks NOW to listen...." "-And we've been doing really really bad and I don't want to be a loser any more! I just want to hug and grope and maybe steal some underwear!" Happosai grumbled. His newest apprentice would be expected to bring in an extra large load of silky darlings tonight to make up for this sorry display. "And besides, Ranma, you're not in charge here." Pushing Ranma aside with his pipe, the diminutive master strode towards the card table. "You two. You'll let us join, won't you?" Ryouga and Dr. Toufu looked at each other for all of one picosecond. "No," they replied simultaneously. "No? NO?! But- he's not even from Nerima! He's not from ANYWHERE! And he's your MANAGER! You...you're so mean to this old man. You're so...." Sobbing softly, Happosai turned and slowly began striding towards the door. It was almost an effective guilt trip, until he ruined the effect by checking back after about a dozen steps to see if it was working. After that, it wasn't. "C'mon, boy. We don't need them." Holding his head up defiantly, which ended up looking more silly than anything, Happosai walked out of the rec room, a pleading Ataru behind. Apparently, Morobishi really REALLY didn't want to be a loser any more. Ignoring the melee behind them of Ranma, Mousse, and Shampoo, Ryouga turned to Dr. Toufu. "Do you think there'll be anyone else asking to join?" The doctor shook his head. "We are 'Team Nerima,' after all, and no one else here is from Nerima. Unless...unless...She wants to join." Until Toufu's glasses started fogging up, Ryouga couldn't figure out why he'd capitalized "She." He grinned. "Hey, you gotta admit, I'd bet we'd get a better room if She did." From the hallway, the pathetic sounds of Ataru Morobishi whining to some poor passer-by could be heard. Were there anyone else in the room who was currently capable of holding an ongoing conversation, he would have laughed at Team Hentai's pathetic nature with them; as it was, he simply snickered to himself. "And that mean Ryouga said we couldn't join!" Oh, this was great. Hilarious! "Ryouga?" He paused. That voice sounded familiar. Who'd Ataru picked to whine to? "Ryouga Hibiki?" Almost sounded like...no. No, couldn't be. Kasumi was kinder than that. "COUSIN RYO?" It was. Kasumi in Heaven - erm, the Ultradome - it was. Shrinking down into his seat, Ryouga tried to become invisible. It didn't work very well. With a whirlwind of pink, the mighty taunting fury of Dan Hibiki (Formerly of the Arousal of Unpleasant Intent) tore into the rec room, eyes all big and googly. "COUSIN RYO!" Dancing from foot to foot, the mighty warrior that was Dan tried to contain his sheer happy joyous happiness. "It's me, Dan-Dan!" Ryouga's head hit the card table with a heavy *thunk.* It collapsed again. The table, that is, not his head. Toufu's glasses cleared, and the fighting between the other TN members momentarily paused. This promised to be interesting. And, in unison...."Dan-Dan?" they all repeated. "Dan-Dan," Ryouga replied in a flat monotone. "My cousin Dan. Our fathers were brothers." Still a barely contained mass of pink excitement, Dan blurred across the room to plop down on the couch. "And Cousin Ryo and I would spend summers together, and we would spar, and we would always end in a draw because were cousins and cousins are always nice to each other and-" "Dan would get sand in his shoes and start crying because it hurt his little toes." Dan's face quickly matched his gi, particularly when the four people watching began to snicker quietly. He got over it quickly, though, for he is Dan! And Dan Is A Great Warrior! "I can't believe it! First Oyaji talks to me - even though he wasn't very nice at first, he did get me the Championship in a sort of roundabout way - and now I find Cousin Ryo!" Trying to focus on one part of Dan's stream of joy at a time, Ryouga asked, "You just now talked to your dad? Just once since the tournament began?" "Well...yeah. He...he...." Mighty, very warrior-like tears began to stream down Dan's face. "Because he died! Wahhh!" Ryouga shrugged. "Yeah, but I've had dinner with him three times so far since I got here." Mighty confusion replaced the mighty tears. "...Nani?" "Sure. He doesn't eat much, since he's dead and all, but it's fun catching up on old times. He had to ask Kasumi each time, since the dead really aren't supposed to talk to mortals, but he kept managing to convince her." Dan stared at his cousin. "But...Oyaji only talked to me once." For a long moment, Ryouga stared at Dan. "You didn't know?" For a long moment, Dan stared at the ceiling. "Um," he finally asked, not having found inspiration in the acoustic tiles as to what he was supposed to know, "Know what?" Deciding the direct approach was appropriate in this instance, Ryouga simply explained, "Well...he always liked me better." Cold tension fell into the room like a sack of wet socks. A long moment of silence passed, broken only by the overlay of a soundtrack from a B-Western. A tumbleweed rolled through the room, just to carry through the theme. Apologetic eyes met furious ones, and did their darndest to try and calm them down. It didn't work. With one swift motion, Dan hopped onto his feet and stared imperiously down at Ryouga. "LIES!" A pink battle aura began to surround Dan, which was impressive if you're the sort who fears cotton candy and Spice Girls merchandise. Valiantly poiking Ryouga on the forehead, Dan demanded, "How dare you spread such lies about Oyaji! You are not the Ryouga Hibiki that I know!" With one more poik for good measure, Dan then kicked Ryouga in the shin; this had the effect of putting a mild frown on the stronger Hibiki's face and causing the weaker to hop around the room on one foot, coming up with new variations on the word "Owie." At the other side of the room, the four other members of Team Nerima munched down on popcorn. This was better than any anime they could get, even with the Ultradome's 5003-channel reception. Then, suddenly, because that's how these things work, a trumpet fanfare sounded. Light poured into the room like a tangible object, and a form began to appear. The whole process even managed to get Dan's attention, who was busy nursing his pwecious little toesies. "This is why I like him better, you pathetic excuse for a son." Return of the googly eyes. "Oyaji! You came to see me- wait. Wait, that's not what you said." Battle aura returning, Dan hopped to his feet and spun around, pointing one quivering finger at Ryouga. "You came to see HIM!" "Pointing at him won't help your case, Dan. Kasumi-sama...why couldn't Kazuo and I have switched sons?" Slowly walking up to his father, Dan tried to look pleading and highly impressive, all at once. "But, Oyaji...I won the Gamma Championship! Didn't that take care of my restoring the family honor?" "Yes...and then you lost it in your next fight!" "Um," Dan helpfully explained. "But...Iori was really tough...." "Is that WHINING I hear? For the love of- Fine. I can see you're never going to change. Ryouga, I have a favor to ask." The fanged manager looked expectantly at him. "Sure thing." "I can see my son isn't going to do anything for this family to be proud of-" Dan's lower lip started trembling at the words, and he looked to be trying really, really hard to maintain his manly facade, "-So will you protect the Hibiki family honor during this tournament?" Ryouga blinked. "Um, sure, I guess. I mean, I'm a manager, not a fighter, but I can-" "And will you make sure than any who dare disparage our name are justly punished?" "Okay, but I'm not a fighte-" "And are we still on for tempura tomorrow?" "I'm sorta low on money-" "It's on me. I have faith in you, Ryouga." Mr. Hibiki turned to his son and leveled a glare at the whimpering pink-clad figure. "And YOU...just try to stay out of the way and not screw up too much." With that, he disappeared in another sudden trumpet fanfare and flood of light. For a long moment, no one moved. When someone finally did, it came as no surprise that the person was Dan. Or that Dan was wailing. "WAHHH! OYAJI HATES ME!" There was another long moment of silence, broken only by Dan's sobs. It was Ranma who finally spoke up. "Wow...someone who's more pathetic than Ryouga." Light glinted in Ryouga's eyes as he whipped his gaze over to Ranma. "What did you say, Saotome?" Toufu groaned. "Here we go again." The fight was stopped before it really had a chance to get going by the arrival of the last member of Team Nerima, who stared in disbelief at the sight before her. "What is going on here, Ono?" Cologne rasped out. "And why is the pink boy crying?" "Well...Kunou, Happosai, and Morobishi tried to join the stable, and we told them no-" "*You* told them no? I'm the head manager for this team, Doctor." "Oh. Should we have let them join?" Cologne snorted. "Those three? Not in a million years. But don't do anything like that again without asking me first." Being more sensible than was the norm for Nerima, Dr. Toufu just nodded. No reason to piss off the best fighter in the room. "And then Dan's father appeared, and asked Ryouga to carry on the duty of restoring the family honor instead of Dan, which is why 'the pink boy' is crying." "And our top fighter and assistant manager are fighting because...." "Because Ranma insulted him." "Oh. Well, clear the crybaby out of the room and separate those two, because we have work to do." At Cologne's words, Dan suddenly galvanized and stood up straight, chin thrust defiantly out. "Dan Hibiki is no crybaby! No, Dan Hibiki is a great warrior, and I'll prove it once and for all! Ryouga Hibiki, I challenge you to a duel to determine who is the true bearer of the family honor!" He and Ranma having stopped fighting long enough to hear the challenge, Ryouga rolled his eyes. "Dan, I don't want to fight you." "Ha! For you know that I, Dan, will be triumphant!" "No, because you'll get hurt and start crying." By the entrance to the room, Cologne tapped Dr. Toufu on the shin with her staff, and motioned him to lean down. Once he did so, she whispered something into his ear; the doctor contemplated it for a moment, then nodded and straightened. "He accepts." Everyone stared at the two managers, especially Ryouga. "He does?" came the response from Ranma, Mousse, Shampoo, and Dan, who apparently thought his challenge would go unmet. Ryouga just gawked, open-mouthed. "Yes, he will. I'll try and get the match set up for tonight - there aren't any matches so the main ring should be open. Now, go and get prepared, young man, because we want to give those people a good show." Hopping over to Dan, Cologne guided him towards the door, ignoring his predictions of victory and various attempts at taunting. As the door shut behind the Pink One, Cologne turned to face the rest of Team Nerima, a wicked smile on her face. "Perfect." "Perfect? What's perfect? I don't want to fight Dan! He'll whine when I beat him, and I hate it when he whines!" "And I hate it when you whine, Ryouga. Look, Team Nerima needs more visibility, and what would bring more visibility, short of the title match in Ultra Rage Beta (c, r) - YES, Ranma, I know you'll win, we all know you'll win - than a duel between family members over the family honor?" "..." replied Ryouga. She did have a point. "Now get ready for your fight. We'll all be there rooting for you...yes, ALL of us, son-in-law." With no option but to obey, Ryouga nodded and began getting into a pre-fight mindset. Finally fighting in the Ultradome might actually be kind of fun. * * * * * "LIVE, from the Ultradome, we've got a special exhibition match for you all tonight! It's the BLOOD FEUD, the BATTLE FOR THE FAMILY HONOR, the-" "Cheap gimmick to sell more tickets." "Quiet, Tarou!" Tarou rolled his eyes and sat back, content to let Hiroshi take over the announcing duties for the moment. Too bad Daisuke ran into traffic on the freeway in; he really wasn't in the mood to do another fight, especially not one involving Dan. "In this corner, fan favorite and former Gamma League Champion, DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN HIBIIIIIIIIIIKI!!!" With a mighty leap, Dan executed a spinning jump over the ropes of the ring, flying through the air like a graceful antelope in a pink gi, the effect marred only by him landing on his nose instead of his feet. The fans still ate it up. "And in the other corner, manager of Team Nerima....and manager of Team Nerima, RYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUGA HIBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKI!!!" With a mighty leap, Ryouga completely failed to jump into the ring. Hiroshi blinked. "Hey...where is he?" No, Ryouga wasn't lost. He knew right where he was, right where the ring was, and how to get from one place to the other (the whole two feet). There was, however, a problem. "I'm NOT wearing this!" he furiously whispered to the short figure beside him. "C'mon, sonny boy! We need the exposure, no pun intended, and I even designed the outfit myself for you!" "...That really doesn't make me feel better." Meanwhile, in the booth, Hiroshi and Tarou were discussing Ryouga's apparent no-show. "So, Tarou, it looks like Ryouga has chickened out or gotten lost. Or could this be a devious ploy on his part to utilize psychological warfare to unsettle Dan before the match even begins?" "...." replied Tarou. "Right you are!" Back at ringside, Ryouga had reluctantly agreed to go ahead with the fight. Not that he had much of choice, because they'd threatened to not lead him back to HQ if he didn't go through with the fight, and he really didn't want to get lost in this outfit and wind up in some city's red-light district. Besides, he might not want to fight Dan, but that didn't mean losing to him by forfeit would be preferable. "Do great!" said Dr. Toufu. "I know you'll win easily," commented Cologne. "We have faith in you!" assured Mousse. "Kick his butt!" cheered Shampoo. "Don't screw up too bad," mumbled Ranma. With a deep breath, Ryouga hopped into the ring. And the Ultradome fell silent. Hiroshi paused for a long moment. "...Well," he finally said, "this is certainly a change from Ryouga's normal attire." Despite every female and their dog in Nerima being in love with Ranma, it should stand to note that Ryouga Hibiki actually has a better body in almost every aspect. Being naturally shy, though, he tends to hide it under fairly heavy clothing, and seldom if ever flaunts it. Cologne had taken care of all that. The bandanna was still the standard gold and black checked one; everything else, however, was rather different. Studded black leather arm bracers were the only thing he had on above the waist besides a light coating of body oil, which gleamed under the bright lights overhead. (And, of course, the matching dog collar was a nice touch. Dog collars always add that extra something to an outfit.) The bracers and collar nicely matched the black leather pants, which were obscenely tight and gave Sephiroth's clothing in the final duel between him and Cloud a run for the money. His normal shoes had been replaced by (surprise!) black leather boots, which were steel-clad over the toes in a way that promised great pain for anyone who was on the receiving end of a kick. His normal red umbrella was now a jet black one capped with a solid gold tip; all in all, the whole effect was quite impressive. And the females in the audience all agreed. In one collective motion, the breaths they had been holding were all exhaled. This action was quickly followed by cacophony of girlish shrieks, as their allegiance switched from the gosh-darned sweet Hibiki to the gosh-darned sexy one. "This was certainly a bold move on Team Nerima's part, and one that seems to have worked! Their new fighter seems to have instantly gained the support of a large portion of the audience, the one that has two X chromosomes, if you know what I mean! Do you know what I mean, Tarou?" "I think people who aren't even watching know what you mean, you moron." "Right you are, Tarou! Not that there's anyone who isn't watching; at least, no one who isn't comatose or Amish! Because people know that even in an exhibition match, Ultra means EXCITEMENT!" With a rather more successful leap than Dan's had been, Mario bounced into the ring and motioned for the two fighters to shake hands. They did so, Ryouga looking mortified and Dan looking flummoxed. "You-a know-a the rules: no-a bladed weapons, no-a knockouts outside-a the ring, no-a leaving Ultradome. Winner is-a determined by-a knockout. Now....FIGHT!" He then conviently disappeared, because let's face it...Mario isn't that popular. Raising his umbrella (and keeping in his mind that he couldn't open it to use the sharpened edge), Ryouga assumed a defensive position, waiting for Dan to make the first move. He really didn't want to just start beating up on the poor sap. Meanwhile, Dan took Ryouga's reluctance to attack as a sign that he was threatened by the might that was DAN! There seemed nothing else to do but engage of a round of mighty taunting, to strike the fear of DAN further in Ryouga's heart. Raising his fist, he did just that. At ringside, the members of the Spirit of Shotokan were all cheering their teammate, hoping he'd regain his position as keeper of the family honor. On the other side, Team Nerima was similarly clapping and cheering, all save one. Ranma wasn't egotistical, that wasn't it. He knew he was the best fighter out of everyone in Ultra and that he was damned sexy, too, but he wasn't egotistical. He was just a little mad that Ryouga was getting more female fan response already than he had in all his fights combined. And Pig Boy hadn't even attacked yet. It just wasn't fair. So, he was slumped in a metal folding chair, waiting for this stupid fight to be over so the team could get back to focusing on their real goal: him winning his two matches at Beta. He was pretty well locked into his irritation...so much so that he failed to notice a certain peeved kendoist stalking up to him. "HA! I have found you unawares, Ranma Saotome; you were a dullard to think that I, Tatewaki Kunou, would be so foolish as to schedule my quest for honor and vengeance around the duels of others, as you obviously expected! I STRIKE!" The strike in question would have been a lot more effective if Kunou hadn't given the speech first. Even before the bokken came whistling through the air to cleave the chair in two, Ranma had already leapt away from the seat, spinning easily through the air in a graceful back flip. It should be noted that Ranma, having not wanted to watch the fight, had faced his chair away from the ring. Thus, his back flip had an unexpected effect beyond simply avoiding Kunou's attack. In the booth, Hiroshi was going wild at this new turn of events. "What's this?! Ranma Saotome has just joined the fight! Is his loyalty to his teammate THAT GREAT that he believes it to precede family honor?" Tarou just stared at his fellow announcer. "Your mind really has no connection whatsoever to reality as a whole, does it?" "Nosiree bob, it sure doesn't! Let's get back to the fight!" In the ring, Dan and Ryouga were both staring at Ranma, who really had no idea how he'd ended up in the ring. "Hey," Dan said, levelling a finger at Ranma (no, not that finger), "This is OUR match!" "Sorry," Ranma shrugged. "I'll just be going now." Before he could, though, Ryouga rushed up to him, mightily pissed. "I can't believe it! You had to interrupt my fight! You couldn't stand that everyone was cheering for me just once!" "That's NOT what-" "I FIGHT ON!" The three occupants of the ring stared at the fourth, who'd just arrived, courtesy of slicing his way through the ropes. "You IDIOT!" Ranma yelled. "This AIN'T the place!" "Silence, cur! My quest for vengeance knows no time nor bounds; I shall teach you to deny me my due. Once that is achieved, I shall move on to my TRUE duty - PUNISHING YOUR DECEPTION!" Ryouga and Dan glared at Ranma and Kunou. "GET OUT!" they both yelled, only to have their attention drawn to the giant message board that took up the entire upper half of one of the walls. "Team...Nerima...takes...all...comers," it scrolled. The four fighters blinked, and all looked at each other. "Then...Ryouga Hibiki is my enemy as well, if he insists on siding with the foul Ranma Saotome! Prepare yourselves!" "Ranma Saotome, I shall accept your challenge as well as my cousin's to prove I am the TRUE heir to the Hibiki family honor, and that I can defend it against all comers! OOSHA!" As the two fighters rushed the sixteen year-olds, Ranma and Ryouga suddenly found themselves (much to their surprise) fighting on the same side. "Where'd that message come from, anyways?" Ranma yelled, ducking a bokken swipe and a wild swing by Dan's fist. "I *duck* don't *jump* know! *duck hop spin* It wasn't MY *duck* idea!" In the control booth, Nabiki grinned as she pocketed a fitful of yen, courtesy of Cologne. "You sure know how to put on a good show, lady." If the two boys worked together, they would have made short order of their inferior opponents. Working together, though, was typically the last thing on Ranma and Ryouga's minds. Which is why Ranma, in his use of his old standby Kachuu Tenshin Amiguriken, failed to first check if anyone else was in the area save his opponents. After taking the brunt of the hits, Ryouga ended up sailing out of the ring, courtesy of the hole earlier made by Kunou. "WHAT A DEVELOPMENT! Ranma has knocked his own teammate out of the ring!" "...Stupid fem-boy." "Whoops," Ranma grinned. As he'd accidentally clocked Ryouga with most of the hits, Kunou and Dan were still up and very much threats...such as they were to begin with, anyways. Well, even with Ryouga out for a second, just these two weren't threats. And it would be good practice for Beta. Then a voice rang out. "Takes all comers, huh? Well, we'll teach you to keep us out of Team Nerima!" The team that no one much cared for then ran up to the ring, turning to the audience for heat. Nothing happened, but that didn't deter Team Hentai, for they had a score to settle. Well, it didn't deter Happosai. Ataru was lingering on the sidelines, not particularly eager to get into a ring with four real fighters, even if one of them was Dan. Wait, five real fighters - Ryouga was standing back up. And climbing back into the ring with murder gleaming in his eyes. Yes, Ataru wasn't particularly eager. At all. "Rannnnnnnma...." Ryouga growled, rushing the pigtailed fighter with his umbrella drawn. Between dodging that and Kunou's bokken, Ranma was totally unprepared for Happosai's attacks, which knocked him across the ring and into the ropes. Slightly dazed, he looked around, only to see Ataru waving at him and grinning. Then the pervert poked him in the eyes, ala the Three Stooges. "Ow! OW!" Ranma hopped to his feet and clapped his hands to his eyes. "I'm gonna GET you for that!" Ryouga, still advancing on Ranma, had his attention drawn by a call from the sidelines. "Don't abandon the team, Ryouga!" Dr. Toufu called. "We're counting on you!" For an agonizing moment, Ryouga tried to rationalize betraying his stable mates. It didn't work. With a put-upon sigh, he turned and ran towards Ranma, punching Dan in the gut as he did so. The pink warrior, hoping to rely on Ryouga's distraction to attack, quickly collapsed into a fetal position on the mat and started bawling. He was on his side, though, and both shoulders never touched the ground. So Dan was still in the match, because Dan is MIGHTY! "Owie owie owie," Dan wailed. Ranma, his vision still blurry, was trying to dodge the attacks of Happosai and Kunou with limited effect; so, when Ryouga came to his defense, it was a welcome surprise. "Hey, so you forgive me!" "...Yes. Now let's kick all their butts and go back to HQ." Blinking furiously to speed the return of his sight, Ranma gave Ryouga a thumbs-up, then whispered something in the leather-clad boy's ear. After considering it for a moment, Ryouga grinned, one fang poking out. "Do it." At first, Kunou and Happosai were surprised by Ryouga's sudden retreat to the other side of the ring; what that meant, though, was that the blinded Ranma was open. With a pair of fierce cries, they both began rushing the pigtailed boy, who yelped and began retreating. Ryouga - who stepped on the still-huddled Dan during his retreat - called out something to his teammates, then cast his eyes down to the mat. "The world," he muttered, "is a dark and lonely place." Up in the booth, Hiroshi was trying his best to try and make sense of the proceedings. "Ryouga seems to have abandoned his wounded teammate! What is going through his head right now? What do you think, Tarou?" "Whatever it is, he doesn't look too happy. Of course, I wouldn't be too happy if I had a single-digit IQ like him, not to mention Fem-Boy-" "I think you have issues, Tarou. And - WHAT'S GOING ON? Shampoo just threw a kettle of water at Ranma and turned him female! Has SHE turned against her teammate, too?" In the ring, Ranma grinned as she felt herself change. And she grinned wider when she saw Happosai's battle aura flare up with the heat of his perversion. And she REALLY grinned wider when she saw Kunou turn from an angry kendoist to a raging beserker of wooden sword death when he saw his "pig-tailed goddess" appear. For her eyes were quite back to normal, although the two men advancing on her didn't know that. With that taken care of, she continued her retreat. In a spiral shape. From his prostrate position on the mat, Dan tried to regain control over his lungs. He hadn't realized Cousin Ryo would hit so HARD. That meanie. Looking up, he saw the cousin in question...crying? Trying to figure out why, he managed to get his field of vision far enough over to see Ranma pursued by Kunou and Happosai, with Ataru behind them, watching the match proceed and occasionally yelling out words of encouragement. Okay, time for the mightiness that was Dan to get up and...wait a minute. Ranma was doing something. He- she was yelling something. And huh, Cousin Ryo was yelling something, too. His head was pounding, but he could still make out the words. "Hiryuu Shoten Ha Enhanced!" "Ultimate Shishi Houkudan Enhanced!" Um. Perhaps now wasn't the time to rejoin the fight. "AND THE BIG GUNS ARE BROUGHT OUT!" Hiroshi yelled, literally bouncing in his seat. "Happosai and Kunou were both caught in the Hiryuu Shoten Ha, and are just barely holding on to consciousness! And...um...wow! That Shishi Houkudan is really something, as it just tore through the roof of the Ultradome, which is very impressive, but I can't really see how that helps Team Nerima-" "Because it has to come back down?" Tarou suggested. "...Oh." In the ring, Ranma remained in her post-HSH stance, fist held defiantly in the air, head bowed. She knew she looked GOOD like this...better than Ryouga ever would. Definitely. She was, in fact, so busy congratulating herself that she completely failed to notice Ataru sneaking up behind her. Perverts are never in short supply of sticky materials. No, not THAT sticky material, you sicko. Glue, especially the fast-drying stuff, is useful for all sorts of things: building ecchi models, fixing the cases of hentai videos that have been watched one time too many, and the old standby, affixing yourself to a girl who really, really wants to get away from you. The last option was usually painful, but always fun. There was, however, something Ataru had never done before with his glue that promised to be both fun for him and painful for someone else. So, very quietly, he snuck up behind Ranma and dumped a big glob of the stuff on her feet. This didn't fail to miss Ranma's notice, as she opened his eyes and glared at Morobishi. "Hey! You glued me to the mat!" Grinning, Ataru nodded. "Yep! And now I can attack you without AH!" He'd quickly realized that just because Ranma's feet were immobilized, that didn't mean her arms were; being a pervert with a strong sense of self-preservation, Ataru quickly ran off, leaving Ranma in the middle of the ring, under a still-roaring chi tornado. "Great," Ranma muttered. "Well, as soon as the two jerks land and we win, I can get someone in here to let me loose." She paused. It seemed as if there was something she was forgetting. Let's see, she thought. I did the Hiryuu Shoten Ha, Ryouga did the Shishi Houkudan, and when they both hit oh no I'm dead AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! "And it looks like the Ultimate Shishi Houkudan is coming back to Earth, Tarou! But...that thing is bigger than the ring! Is Team Nerima so desperate to win that they're willing to injure innocent spectators?" "Look again." Hiroshi paused. "Wait a minute...the Shishi Houkudan is getting pulled down into the tornado! It's going to be sucked entirely into it!" Inside said tornado, Happosai had just barely managed to hold onto consciousness. Kunou was, naturally, long gone, but the old master knew he could wait until the winds died down. What he hadn't expected was a hundred-foot-high pillar of pure angst energy to come crashing down on him inside the twister. Nor had Ranma, who'd fully expected to be able to leave the vicinity by the time the Shishi Houkudan hit. Ah well. Not all plans are perfect. At the side of the ring, Ryouga was just regaining his bearings after releasing quite possibly the largest energy blast he'd ever pulled off. Looking over to the center of the ring, he winced as he saw Ranma still standing at ground zero just as the now-narrow and focused blast hit. Oh man, so much for them getting along. After the dust settled, he was the only one standing in the ring; Ranma, Kunou, and Happosai were all knocked cold, Ataru was long gone...and Dan was still in a huddled ball on the mat. With a sigh, Ryouga strode over to his cousin (and tried to ignore the female catcalls that arose when he did) and looked down at him. "Dan, just give up, okay?" Looking up at the apparent victor, Dan's mighty lower lip began to tremble. "It's not fair! He's MY father, but he doesn't trust me to carry on the family honor! WaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Too late, Ryouga realized what was happening, and tried to get his umbrella up. But the manly stream of tears bursting from Dan's eyes hit him full-force, and his Jusenkyou curse activated at the worst possible time. Dan blinked. Ryouga had turned into a kawaii black piglet in a leather collar. This was something new. The Spirit of Shotokan stable started cheering. "Get him, Dan!" Ken yelled out. "Win this thing!" On the other end of the ring, Team Nerima was panicking. "RYOUGA!" Shampoo yelled. "HERE WATER!" The Amazon pitched a kettle full of steaming water at Ryouga...which was snatched out of the air by Dan. "Sorry Ryo," Dan said sorrowfully. "I'll always remember you as a true warrior." With that, he gave Ryouga a conk on the head with the kettle. The piglet passed out. Everyone's jaw dropped. Out of five fighters...Dan was the last one standing. "DAN WINS! DAN WINS! DAN WIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!" Hiroshi's excitement level was reaching dangerous levels; Tarou had rolled his chair away from him just in case it was contagious. "DAN RETAINS HIS POSITION OF REGAINING THE FAMILY HONOR! WHO WOULD'VE THUNK IT?" "Against those four?" Tarou muttered. In the ring, Dan was being rushed by the Spirit of Shotokan stable, who enveloped him in a big group hug. It was a true Kodak moment. Of course, an even truer Kodak moment was when Dan let go of the kettle in the midst of his victory dance, and the hot water finally reached its destination. All the female viewers who'd fallen in love with the leather-clad Ryouga REALLY loved him now. Luckily, he was still unconscious. Otherwise, the massive nosebleed he would've had would have rather ruined the effect. "Well," Cologne sighed. "Any publicity is good publicity." * * * * * Later that evening, Team Nerima had returned to their HQ; having to ignore the billiards tournament Sex and Violence was in the midst of did little to help their moods. "I can't believe we lost," Ranma muttered. "If you had just stayed out of my and Dan's fight, everything would've been fine," Ryouga retorted. "I can't BELIEVE we LOST!" Ranma sobbed. "And now we got stuck with the bill for repairing the Ultradome roof in time for Beta AND for replacing the ropes on the ring!" Ryouga groaned. "I can't believe *I* lost!" Ranma wailed. "At least a shot of you nake....nak....na-" "Naked," Mousse helpfully supplied. Ryouga shuddered. "-Isn't already posted on the official Tournament web site!" "And a nice one it is, too!" Cologne cackled, looking up from the Tangerine iMac that served as the community rec room computer. After processing this last statement for all of one second, Ryouga thankfully passed out. Just after he did, the Spirit of Shotokan filed into the room, lead (naturally) by Dan. "Hello, Team Nerima!" he proudly proclaimed. "I just wanted to let you know that I consider you all true warriors-" "Whoop-dee-freakin'-doo," Ranma grumbled. "-and that, Ryo, I think that you're, um, unconscious." Meanwhile, Eliza (who'd popped on by the Ultradome to visit Ken) had joined Cologne at the computer. She at least had the decency to blush....though she also had just launched the Desktop Pictures control panel. Smart girl, that Eliza. "Well, when Ryouga wakes up, would you just tell him no hard feelings? And I hope our stables can still get along all right." "Yeah, yeah," Ranma muttered. Shampoo, Mousse, and Toufu had apparently had more success moving on past their depression over the loss, for they were already discussing the pair's fight in Beta. Ranma, as was his MO, not moving past his loss. "Just wait until Beta, okay? Then I'll show you what Ranma Saotome is really made of!" "...Okay," Dan chirped, "I bet you will. After all, this was just to prove to Oyaji that I was able to carry the family honor, it's not like I hate you or anything." "Mmm," Ranma replied. He just wanted to punch something, but would now feel kind bad about it being Dan. Or Ryouga, since he was unconscious and all. "And I'm sure you really didn't MEAN to make all those stupid slip-ups during the match, ne?" Ranma's eye twitched. He REALLY wanted to hit something. "But Cousin Ryo was right...he is tougher than you!" Ryouga is unconscious, you don't hit someone who's unconscious.... "And he did a pretty good job of getting good heat, didn't he? I'll have to tell him good job on that...I would still like him and me to be friends. And here I thought *you* were supposed to be such a big ladies' man!" Grinning innocently, Dan clapped Ranma on the shoulder. "Learn something new each day, huh?" Okay, he was going to hit something NOW, no matter that Dan had just apologized and- "SAOTOME! I TAKE MY REVENGE!" *THWOCK* Looking down at the prostrate Kunou, Dan blinked. "Wow, he's not very smart, is he?" Ranma grinned. "You don't know the half of it." Smirking in that way only he can, he folded his arms across his chest and just oozed arrogance. "See you in Beta, Hibiki."