The ancient, almost all-powerful god of hatred, the Yamato no Orochi, floated and waited. He had waited for the better part of a week for the fruition of his current plans, and had gone to no great lengths in preparing. That it would be better to be over-prepared, he had invested in various thrash and death metal CDs, and then proceeded to subject his victim to the maniacal strains whilst irradiating said victim with raging fires of Orochi's blood. Then he waited. Waited as the maelstrom of madness and hatred washed over the subject, thrashing wildly about in a chamber of –solid—hatred. The better part of six days passed, and still Orochi stood, as the sun rose and set, rain fell, freak blizzards and tornadoes passed through, and still he stood, figuratively, anyway – since he actually floated on sheer willpower, (that was the official story, it was rumoured, however, that Orochi had taken lessons by mail-order from Namek several millennia ago.), not even noticing whatever nature, in a fit of boredom, had thrown at him, while trying to get a rise out of him. Staring intently at a particular weak spot in the cocoon of solid hatred, Orochi allowed himself a brief smile as a miniscule crack slowly grew into several large ones. The cracks soon enveloped the cocoon, which exploded outward, showering the nearby environs with many large, jagged shards. Several of these shards, which were rather large and particularly nasty looking, flew in the direction of the god of hatred, who without moving a single muscle, summoned a whirling vortex of blood red ki, which rose up so fast that one moment there was nothing, and then the next, a swirling pillar of energy, which either deflected the shards, or atomised them. "It has begun." he said, as his eyes flared with blood-red power. Several minutes passed. Several more stopped by for tea, and decided to move on. Then from out of the thick miasma of torpid smoke, a lone, feminine figure stepped out, and glared at Orochi with intense hatred, which was of a sort that affected him in such a way as to cause him to blink audibly, which was something he did –not—do. Shaking her long mane of black hair, which had a shock of deathly white running through it, just to the right of the middle, from where it was neatly parted, she twisted her lips into a scowl, and snarled; "I [H_A_T_E] you!" Orochi stared on in shock, after blinking yet again in disbelief. This could not be—no one who carried the power of the riot of the blood had never before gained the --voice--of power. That was when he realised why that CD was labeled ‘Overkill'. As the shock of the disbelief wore off, and after silently cursing that cur, Inverse, Orochi nodded in approval as he looked over his handiwork. Her figure, which had once been large and full, now was lithe and… slinky. (Yes, that's the word for it.) he thought. Carrying herself in a sinuous manner, she seethed in total, utter disgust. Before she had worn clothing that left little to the imagination, now she was draped in clothing that covered her, yet was far more suggestive. "Yes, you truly are a white serpent." said Orochi, with no tonal inflections to his voice. He simply said it. "I [HATE] you!" she said again, truly meaning what she said. With that, she silently activated a Ray Wing spell, and prepared to take flight. "NO." stated Orochi, who suddenly appeared in from of her, without even appearing to move a muscle. "I have business elsewhere." The woman snapped back at him, her spittle sizzling as it struck his barrier. Glaring intently at her, Orochi asked, "What is so important that it overrides my will?" "I go to express my hatred—in Canada." That took him by surprise so much that he nearly face-faulted. (She has a point. But I must have my vengeance on Inverse.) Composing himself so quickly that it was barely noticeable, he caused his eyes to glow blood red, and replied, "Later. I have someone else more deserving of your hatred. " "My [anger] stirs. Who is it that is so deserving of my [hate]?" she replied, as a seething red haze danced madly about her form. "You are truly deserving of the title of the White Serpent." "Speak not of that weak, simpering fool. I am now Naga, the [Black] Serpent." snarled Naga, before laughing a laugh of such evil that mere mortals would go insane before being forced to listen to it further. O-o/@_o/0_@ Somewhere, very far away, Kasumi Tendo felt a disturbance in the force. "Oh my!" was all she could say. She did hope that whatever it was, it wouldn't make too much of a mess, especially if it went near her magical troubleshooting crossover fighting league. That would simply not do. Not at all. *********** LIVE! FROM THE ULTRADOME! THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT AND IMPROFANFIC! IT'S TIME FOR... { M A G I C A L C R O S S O V E R } { F I G H T I N G F E D E R A T I O N } { .-----------. } { | U-L-T-R-A | } { `-----------' } { http://www.pixelscapes.com/improfanfic } Episode 3: The Black Serpent Strikes! Written by Ash. "Good evening and welcome to Ulllllllllllllllllllllllllltrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaa!!! I'm Hiroshi, and have we got a show for you folks, isn't that right, Daisuke?" Daisuke gave a look that said ‘lay off of the sugar, already' to Hiroshi, and replied, "Yes, yes it is. Not only we do we have a new fighter, but one is changing leagues to the Gamma League." Cutting in, which got him an even nastier glare, Hiroshi continued. "That's right! And here's Mr. Yotsuya, our man on the beat, with the exclusive." *** Mr. Yotsuya looked at his watch. Although he had been quite busy with meddling in the lives of that Godai lad and the manager of Maison Ikkoku, as well as peeping in on that vivacious Akemi in apartment six, and being generally mysterious, that nice young Tendo woman (who was reported to be Kami- sama herself—he smiled when he heard that,) had asked him to interview people in her new Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting League, he found that he did have enough time to do it. There was something about Kasumi Tendo. Looking up from his watch, he asked the cameraman, "Any idea where the gentleman in question is?" "Sorry buddy. I'm not paid for that sorta t'ing. Union rules, ya'nno." Said the cameraman. "So why don't ya talk to someone else?" "Capital idea, my good man! Now who shall I… here comes to what would look to be some likely people to interview." He said, while standing in the path of two teenagers who happened to be walking by. "Man on the Beat Yotsuya here with—" "Sakura Kasugano." replied one of the teenagers, who was dressed in a simple sailor fuku, with a dash of surprise. "I'm in the Gamma League. Is this gonna be on TV? Hi Mom! Hi Dad! Wherever you happen to be now." "Really? This is my lucky day. And who might your companion be?" "My name's David. I'm not in any of the leagues right now, on account of the fact that I can only fight with a chainsaw." Said Sakura's companion sullenly, with just the right amount of angst to draw in the ‘Dawson's Creek/ Party of Five' viewership. "My word. With a chainsaw you say? How many tournaments do go for that sort of thing?" David blinked, as he had been taken by surprise. He thought about this for a few moments, even going to the trouble of scratching his chin to further the effect. "Well, I was in the third Toshin tournament, and was asked to participate in the big Beta tournament a while back. That's where I met Sakura." "I see. What a fascinating story, young man. Miss Kasugano, do you have anything to say to anyone in the Gamma League?" A quirky smile formed on Sakura's sprite-like face. "Just that I'm gonna get that belt from Ranma Saotome sooner or later. You have my word on that." "But will he have the belt when you do face him?" asked a voice from the shadows. A sharp, almost ripping sound was heard. Raising the lit match to his face, which was revealed, by means of the flickering light, to be somewhat roguish, as well as having deep, dark red eyes. "Who is to say that I won' have that belt, non?" "Capital!" said a relieved Mr. Yotsuya, who was glad that he would actually be able to fulfill his job as requested, knowing that it's not a good idea to cross God. "Mr., Gambit—is it? Would you care to share what made you decide to break your partnership with Wolverine and go it alone in the Gamma League?" "Me and Wolvie, we had some… what you might call ‘creative differences', so I decided give this Gamma league a try." Nodding, Yotsuya continued. "Has the decision come down as to whether or not you can use your staff yet?" Taking a deep drag, Gambit took his cigarette to hand, and blew a thick cloud of smoke. "Non, but I can say that I don' need it to fight." Noticing Sakura, he smiled roguishly, and said, "What's a petit l'il thing like you doing in this bad ‘ol league anyway?" His fist slowly clenching and unclenching at his side, David seethed. (How dare this… this—aw screw it.) he thought. In a swift motion, so fast that it caused all present to blink audibly in surprise, David grabbed one of the mutant Cajun's duster lapels, and had a fist raised, poised to strike. "Nobody, and I mean nobody talks to my –girl—that way!" A chill wind passed through the hall. Crows cawed. Temple drums were pounded, and priests went "Huoooooooooooooooooooo…" Sakura flushed a deep red and hid her face behind her vambrace covered hands. A single eyebrow on Mr. Yotsuya's nearly emotionless face raised. Gambit's smile got even wider. "You don' say. And how, pray tell, are you going to go about stopping me? The only fighting around here is in a ring, and the last I heard, you weren't in any of the leagues." Mr. Yotsuya, realising that he had a job to do, faced the camera, and standing very professionally, he began to speak. "It appears that rivalries have flared here at the Ultradome. How –will—this be settled?" "Excuse me—message for Mr. Yotsuya." said one of the smartly dressed Ultradome techs, who had run up carrying a white envelope. After accepting, and signing for the message, Yotsuya opened it, and read it intently. As he read it, both of his eyebrows raised. After what has seemed to be a silent eternity, he put it down and said, "This is astounding! Miss Tendo has decided to let these two ‘go at it', so to speak, at a later date in an exhibition grudge match. The two of you are to be locked in a flaming steel cage and allowed to fight with staves. Back to you, Daisuke and Hiroshi." *** "Now that's something you don't see everyday!" exclaimed Hiroshi enthusiastically, practically jumping up and down in his chair. "I thought you had decided to not get drunk today." said Daisuke, looking at his friend with dismay. "That's true. I didn't get drunk today." replied Hiroshi, who was now beginning to vibrate rapidly. "I'll bite. Then what did you do?" "I drank two cases of Yoo-hoos and had a pitcher of Cool-aid. Yeah baby!" Hiroshi said, getting more hyper by the minute. Daisuke cradled his face in his right hand. "He's sugar-drunk." He muttered quietly to himself, before realising that they were live, and on the air right then. "Oh, yes—that will be quite a fight here on Ultra, especially since David has had next to nil skills fighting with anything other than a chainsaw." "And don't forget that hideout pistol and those three soul bombs he carries." said a rather giddy Hiroshi. "But the soul bombs were deemed legal in Ultra, due to the fact that their effects weren't that much different from a ki attack. But enough of that for now, because it's time for the first match of the evening. Let's now go down into the Ultradome." *** As it had been for the previous two weeks, the Ultradome was packed to nearly overflow capacity. Those who were unable to get their greasy little paws on tickets were now huddled in front of their television sets, watching the show on cable. The massive entryway that led out to the ring was lit in enormous neon letters that read ‘ULTRA', and had begun spewing fireworks five minutes before. The music to Glay's ‘More than Love' began to play as the unseen announcer began to speak. "From the Masters Estate in Southern California, Well versed in the art of Shotokan Karate, Keeeeeeeeeeeen Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssteeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrsss!" Right on cue, Ken walked out through the entryway, his fiance' manager Eliza at his side, arms locked in an almost romantic manner. "I thought you were going to only compete in tournaments with Ryu." said Eliza, who was not particularly thrilled with the concept of Ultra. "Eliza. It's kinda hard to turn down a request from God herself." replied Ken, scratching the back of his head. "And besides, there's no travel involved to this." "Not yet." "Let's take this one day at a time." he said, throwing a mock punch at her chin, which she playfully caught with both hands. "Alright. I trust you." "Good. Now I have a fight to win." He clasped his hand over hers, and gave her a brief kiss. The crowd went wild. Smiling, Ken made a graceful bow to the audience, and made his way into the ring. "Originally from New Orleans, now from Westchester, New York, with the mutant ability to discharge explosive kinetic energy into any object, master acrobat, and able to use just about anything on hand as a weapon, the Ragin' Cajun, GAAAAAAAAAAAAAMBIIT!" In unique twist of fate, Gambit had not chosen a theme song, as he had been hitting on a secretary at the time, the music director decided to play some flamenco music, because that was what he damn well felt like playing, thank you very much. The crowd stared intently at the entryway. Several minutes passed. The music director got bored with the flamenco, and pulled out something at random, which turned out to be ‘One Week' by the Barenaked Ladies. The crowd waited. In the control room, Daisuke told one of the technical directors, "Pan a spotlight around, maybe he's in the arena, and plans to make some sort of entrance." The TD nodded, and sent word to lighting. The spotlight moved slowly, until it came across one of the balconies, where the Cajun was sitting out on the edge of the railing, and appeared to be writing something down in a little black book. "Perhaps I shall give you a call, mon cher, non?" he said non-chalantly. The woman he was talking to blushed and nodded silently. "Dat must be my cue. Au revoir." Then, with that roguish grin of his, he nodded, clambered to his feet. Then, making a two-fingered salute, he leapt into the air, grabbed hold of one of the support struts in the dome, wrapped a line about the rail, and dropped down. When he was about twenty feet above the ring, he let go of the rope, and with a somersault and a half-pike, landed in the ring in a crouching position. This took him all of thirty seconds. The crowd went wild. In the control room, Daisuke nodded, and gave a thumbs up to the TD. *** "How daiyah thaht cayjun cheat on me? Ah'll give'm a piece or two of mah mind!" drawled a voice from inside of a secluded mansion in Westchester, New York. *** Inside one of the ‘green rooms' that had been thoughtfully provided for the fighters, and whoever they might have with them that day, be it managers, trainers, family members, or…. Boyfriends. "I can't believe you said that I was your boyfriend!" shouted Sakura, as she paced the green room at a rate that would soon wear through the carpet, which would cause Kasumi a lot of frustration to replace. "And in front of a –camera—no less!" David sat on a couch, head between his knees. His clothing, which was normally white and neatly pressed, was now grey and wrinkled. "I don't –why—said it. Just that when I saw that guy coming onto you, something went off in my head. At least I got a chance for a fight here." "Oh sure, a grudge match over –me--! I don't know why I even bother." said Sakura, tossing her hands up in the air. "Remember when you were possessed, by lack of a better word for it, the ‘dark side'?" "Sure. That pint-sized half-demon Shotokan master showed me a few tricks. Though that black leather fuku was in very bad taste, I must admit." she said, coming to a stop. "I think that was when I realised that I wanted to be around you." "Uh huh." Sakura took three steps before she realised what he had said. "WHAAAAAAAT!?" "Do you think that I would've helped save you from that dark… thing that possessed you if I didn't feel that way?" She looked him dead set in the eye. "I thought that had to do with the fact that you wanted to help save the world." "Don't squint. You don't know how to do it right. It makes you look cross-eyed. But yeah, I did get caught up in that ‘save-the-world' euphoria at first. And then I saw you in that black leather fuku, and saw… something. I don't know what it was, but I knew that I had save you, no matter what happened to me later." A misty wetness formed in her eyes, and she found herself trying to blink it away. "Really?" she asked, wiping at her eyes with a bent index finger. "Yes." Their faces loomed closer, and Sakura found that she couldn't see through all of the tears that had suddenly taken residence in her eyes. "I-I don't know what to say." "I also realised that leather really does suit you." he whispered gently. "WhaaaaAAAaaat!? Prepare to die, mister!" "Notintheface! Notintheface!" *** In another of the green rooms, a conversation of a different sort was taking place. "I can see why the Professor called me here all the way from England, Logan. He just doesn't know when to quit." "Pun'kin, you don't know the half of it." "I saw the tape." "You had ta be there, Pun'kin. You had ta be there." *** Gambit removed his duster, and had draped it over one of the turnbuckles. Then, he strolled to the center of the ring, where he shook hands with his opponent, Ken Masters. "Just to show there's no hard feelings after the match, I'll pay for the drinks." said Ken, with a friendly smile, and a slight wink in his eye. "I just may take you up on that." The Cajun replied, grinning as well. Unbeknownst to anyone, there was a brief flash of light as the two disengaged the handshake. "Alright," said the referee. "The two of you know the rules. Now I want a good clean fight, and remember, the win is by a KO. Let's get it on!" The two moved to their specific corners of the ring, and waited. At the sound of the bell, the two moved out from the corners, and moved slowly around the corners. Ken quickly found a spot with good footing, and planted his feet as he brought his cupped hands to his sides. "I see that Ken is going to his ‘Hissatsu Waza, or desperation move, the Hadoken. This must mean that he's planning on ending this fast." said Daisuke watching the fight intently. "I happen to think he's going for a ‘fireball fight'." said Hiroshi, who seemed unnaturally still. "That's a valid point. But is this a smart move for Masters?" "Hell no!" replied Hiroshi, who was now experiencing seismic tremors every other minute. "He's up against Gambit, who could do that all day. Masters has only so much that he can expend, before he runs dry." Daisuke stared at Hiroshi. "Who are you, and what did you do to Hiroshi? But that is a valid point. But how many cards do you think Gambit's carrying? Unless he's got a subspacial pocket somewhere on that suit of his, he's gonna run out soon." "Oh, that's right. I've got a question for you. Who's gonna be exhausted when that happens?" "Let's find out and see." As predicted, Ken started off with a with a cry of "Hadoken!" and unleashed an energy projection of his hands, which came flying at Gambit. "So dat's how you want to play, then? Well, I can play dat way as well." said Gambit as a pair of cards lit up brightly in his left hand. "Oh can I ever play dat way." Even as he spoke, his arm swung in an upward arc, releasing the cards screaming towards the Hadoken. A resounding explosion shook the ring, and everything else within a fifteen-yard radius. When the smoke cleared, Ken stood, eyes nearly bulging in shock, staring at the Cajun, who leaned against a turnbuckle, blowing dust off of his fingernails. "Is dat the best you can do?" "This is Gambit's first match in the Gamma League, after a not-so-stellar period in the Lambda League. But the question remains, if Gambit is in Gamma, who took his place in Lambda? We ourselves here at Ultra have only within the past day or two have found out who, and we'll have an exclusive interview shortly, but first, the rest of tonight's Gamma match." Daisuke took a deep breath. This announcer gig was harder than it looked, but it was better than going to High School for fifty years, especially an insane Japanese High School. Hiroshi, meanwhile, had stopped registering on the Richter scale, and was watching the match intently. "Wait, what's this? Gambit's tripping Ken! That's astounding!" "Wha-? I don't believe it. The Ragin' Cajun has walked up, and tripped Ken Masters while he was flabbergasted after seeing the results of the explosion he had helped made." Ken's head hit the mat. Hard. The pain was good, in that it had cleared his head, and brought his attention to the situation at hand. But the foot that was applying pressure to his throat, that was not good. He would have to do something about that. "So, are you gon' give up nice an' easy for ol' Gambit now?" "No," said Ken, his eyes narrowing into tiny slits. "I think not." Reaching up, he grabbed the Cajun by the ankle and in a single move, lifted and twisted in such a way, while not breaking the man's leg, but rather caused him to lose his balance. Once Gambit was out of his way, he raised his legs and backflipped up onto his feet. Although caught off-guard by unexpected move by Masters, Gambit quickly went into a backflip as well, and landed safely away. "So you don' wan' play then? You wan' to dance? Fine. I can accommodate that." "Good." Said Ken, wiping off his mouth. He then went into a barrage of simple, yet powerful punches and kicks. The Cajun evaded them all with great skill and ease, and still managed to get in one or two of his own, which Ken managed to block as well. Most of them, anyway. Bracing his right arm, Ken crouched, closed his eyes, and began to channel all of his ki into one spot. His fist. "Let's see you block this. SHO-RYU-REPPA!!!" Rising from out of the crouch, his fist burst into flames, and shot straight up. Gambit, who had seen a few training films of Masters in action, merely stepped back, and looked at the watch that was sewn into one of his gloves. "3, 2, 1. Boom." he said quietly, as if waiting for something to happen. Which it did. Ken, who was spiraling in the air, felt a strange sensation in his hand, and lowered his brow. (What could it be?) he thought. And then his hand exploded. Sort of. The resulting explosion was enough to render him unconscious, but not to seriously injure his hand. "This IS amaZING! It appeaRS as IF Ken has DEFEated himSelf!" exclaimed Hiroshi, who had lost control over the volume of his voice. Daisuke frowned. This wasn't right. So he said, "Let's look back to the beginning of the match. To the handshake." Through the magic that was instant replay, monitors replayed what had gone on only minutes before. "Good. Now somebody zoom in on their hands, and play slowly." Not too far off, a TD did as requested. "There. Stop. That's it." "Folks, evidence has come up that the KO can be attributed to Gambit. But due to nature of the KO, we're gonna have our panel of judges see whether or not the KO was legal." said Daisuke. A resounding groan rang out in the Ultradome, as the judges went over the evidence. Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity, the verdict was made. "The winner, by means of time-delayed knockout, GAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!" roared the announcer. The crowd went wild. "That's amaZING! How DID he do IT?" asked Hiroshi, bouncing up and down in his chair. "Well, let's show it in instant replay. The move started when they shook hands. Somehow Gambit left a time-delay charge in Masters' hand, which then went off as he was performing his Sho-Ryu-Reppa." "I didn't know he could do that." "None of us did, Hiroshi. That's why the judges are letting him off this time. By this time next week, there'll be a rule forbidding that sort of thing." replied Daisuke. "Coo." "No hard feelings?" asked Gambit, as the doctors bandaged up Ken. "That's a tough question." Gambit shrugged. "When I play, I play to win." he smiled. A small chuckle rolled from Ken's throat. "I'll have to remember that. How did you know that explosion wouldn't hurt me?" "I didn't." "What!? Then why did you do it?" asked Ken, not really sure to be angry or shocked. "Why do you think dey call me Gambit, non?" Ken smiled. "You still up for drinks?" "Sure. But I think I have to speak wit' dat Yotsuya fellow, non?" *** Yotsuya smiled. This was an easy job. Of course he wouldn't hear the end of it once he got home tonight, but he'd worry about that later. "Welcome back. I'm here with Wolverine, and his new partner, Shadowcat. Now, I've heard the story from Gambit, but I am curious as to what your side is." Wolverine glowered, and nearly took the microphone from Yotsuya's hand. "Some partner. He was flirting with an opponent, instead of, of… After that match, I had a little talk with the Prof., and he agreed to let me choose a new partner." "You don't say. Now, miss Shadowcat, I'm not familiar with you. Are you a member of the X- Men?" Shadowcat nodded. "I was, until I got injured, and had to stay at the hospital at Muir Island, and ended up founding Excalibur." She was dressed all in blue. From the boots and jacket, leotard, tights and mask, she literally went from dark to light to dark again. She ran a hand through her long brown hair. "I see. Have you worked with Wolverine before?" asked Yotsuya, feeling comfortable standing around people, the wake of whose fighting might well kill him. "Yes, I have. He taught me the art of Ninjitsu." Forcing down the lump in his throat, Yotsuya struggled with the ramifications of what the girl had just said. (Ninja? These gaijin are ninja? This could be very bad.) he thought. "Well, then. Do you have any worries about tonight's match?" "No." "No?" "After what I've been through, this'll be a cakewalk." "I see. There you have it folks. Back to you Daisuke." *** After a fifteen-minute intermission, the crowds filed back into their seats and waited for the next match to begin. Sparks began spilling out from the entryway, and continued to do so for some time. The music director, who had by this time, had gone completely insane, had begun playing what, upon hearing the chorus, may have been called, ‘Para Rira Para Daisu". Walking cautiously down from the entry arch were two people, each dressed in chinese clothing. "Shampoo, did you choose our theme song? Asked one, who was dressed in long white robes. He had long black hair, which ran just past his shoulders, and carefully adjusted the large, circular glasses that perched on his nose. "No. Music director go insane then." Said the other, who wore a pink short sleeved shirt, and baggy pink pants that were tied off at the ankle. "That would be about right." replied Mousse. Right about then, the music abruptly changed to the ‘Macarena'. "From Joketsuzoku, in Western China, Master of the art of hidden weapons, MOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSSSE!!!!!" Mousse grumbled. "It's Mu Tsu, you dithering simpletons!!!" "No it isn't! It's Mu Xi!" shouted someone in the crowd. "Put a sock in it!" said Mousse, as he threw a ham, taken from the depths of his sleeves at the heckler. "Also from Joketsuzoku, practitioner of Chinese Amazonian martial arts, SHAAAAAAAAAAMPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Shampoo pointed a bonbori in the general direction of the heckler's face. "You not think about it, you understand?" "Together, they are the JUUUUUUSEEEEEEENKYOOOOOOO SUUUUUUUUUUUURVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVOOOOOOOOOORSSSSSSSSSSS!!!" "Who told them? It must have been Saotome. I will get you Saotome!!!" shouted Mousse. *** "Achoo!" "Ranma, are you catching a cold?" "I hope not. I don't wanna forfeit any matches due to sickness." "Then eat your hot and sour soup." "Are you sure it's how and sour? It tastes like sweet and sour." "Ranma!" *** "Hailing from the Canadian Rockies, with a skeleton and claws of indestructible adamantium, member of the X-men team of mutant superheroes, WOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLVEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!" Proving that he had gone completely insane, the music director began playing a Tragically Hip song. He was disappointed when he didn't get a rise out of Wolverine, so he put in something completely cute. That did it. A snarl upon his lips, Wolverine clenched a fist. He was stopped by a hand that was gently laid upon his shoulder. "Save it for the match, Canucklehead." "Originally hailing from Chicago, Illinois, now Muir Island, Scotland, with the mutant ability to walk through matter, a former member of the X-Men, now a member of the British team Excalibur, SHAAAAAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOWCAAAAAAAAAAT!!!" A random Spice Girls song began to play over the PA. "That's it. I'm putting an end to this." Turning intangible, she floated up, and found the music director's cubicle. He was cackling maniacally, and had blindfolded himself, while choosing audio carts at random. As she passed through the expensive console, thousands of minute electrical circuits were fried in her wake. "Boo!" exclaimed Shadowcat, causing the director to faint in sheer terror. "Heh. Well, all's well the ends well." She said, dusting her hands off, and returning to the ring. "Wowza! Now that's one girl I don't want to cross!" "It appears that the reports are true. Shadowcat is able to make herself immaterial, What good this will be here, remains to be seen." said Daisuke. The four took their positions in (or around) the ring, and waited for the bell to ring. Out of personal preference, the ladies began the match. "How is it that you call yourselves by a Japanese name? That's unusual, unless the village you live in was established by Japanese." asked Shadowcat. This did not sit well with Shampoo. Snarling, she shouted, "How you dare say such thing!? I no Japanese!" and began a flurry of punches. Yawning, Shadowcat phased and let most of the punches pass through her. "Aiyah! They not tell me that I fight ghost tonite!" Arching an eyebrow, Shadowcat replied, "A ghost? Really. Would a ghost be able to do this?" she brought the heel of her hand, now solidified, forcefully into Shampoo's nose. Although it wasn't hard enough to shatter it, blood did trickle down one nostril. "Or this?" as she brought a knee up into the Chinese girl's solar plexus. "Wow. You're still standing." Over from the side, Wolverine watched the fight with some interest. "How's it goin' kid?" "Not too bad. She's tougher than she looks. I think I took her by surprise." Nodding, Wolverine replied. "That can't be right. Judging from her moves, she's got some skill. Look out!" The Canadian's cry was not needed, as Shampoo's fist went through her opponent, and kept going. "Oh come now. Do you think I can't think ahead for such possibilities?" asked Shadowcat, blocking a series of punches and kicks from Shampoo. "You ready ta tag?" "No. Let me wear her down a bit." "Fine by me, darlin'." said Wolverine, standing back from the ropes. Shampoo, who was tired of trying to decide whether or not this girl was real or not, went over to Mousse, who had been watching her intently. "Mu Tsu! Wake up you lazy self and tag me!" "Yes, my love? What does the light of my heart, the--" "Shut up, and tag me!" she shouted into the boy's ear. "Oh, right. Tag you." he said, extending an arm out towards his partner. She slapped it, and made her way through the ropes. "What is it that I'm supposed to do now? Shampoo then proceeded to unceremoniously push Mousse into the ring. "You go in ring. Fight Ghost Girl. Win big honour for tribe. "Fight? I guess I can turn my vision from you for but a few minutes." "She hit me. Repeatedly." said Shampoo, pointing at her bloody nose. "She what?" Mousse glowered, his battle aura blazing with a never before seen intensity. "Then she will die for that." "Look out, punkin' jumping would be in your best interests now." said Wolvie, leaning on one of the ropes. "Somethin' nasty's headed your way." Shadowcat replied, "What?" turning, she saw the barrage of chains, hooks, swords, ginsu knives, morning stars, halberds, and two really big Pez dispensers that came flying special delivery with her name on the address tag. She managed to jump out of the way, before being hit. "How does he do that? It's impossible!" "He's a hidden weapons master. It's a very old-- and secret art. Be sure not to defeat the girl, or she'll be honour-bound to kill you." "Why? That doesn't seem like a very honourable thing to do." she replied, landing with a snap kick to Mousse's face. "Hell if I know. And they live for a very long time ta boot. Care to tag out yet?" "Just a minute. Let me get a few more hits in." "Man, is she ever good. She might give even Ranma a run for his money." said Hiroshi, downing at least nine pixy stix at once. "I didn't think an American could take someone from Japan or Nerima, but here she is, already given Shampoo what for, and doing the same for Mousse." "She's an equal opportunity butt-kicker." mumbled Hiroshi, scraping the remnants from a pouch of Lik-em-ade. After a few futile attempts at throwing a punch at Mousse, who, in a bizarre stroke of luck, had managed to block with various chains with hooks on the ends, Shadowcat decided to tag out, and let Wolverine do his thing. Mousse looked down at thenewcomer, and looked over to Shampoo. "I think I'll let you have this one." he said, walking over and tagging out. Reluctantly, Shampoo crawled through the ropes, and faced off against her opponent. "Hey, why is this panel shorting out?" asked Hiroshi, jumping back, but because he was seated at the time, this action caused him to fall back on his chair. An Ultradome tech walked in, and handed Daisuke a report. "Hmmm... It says here that when Shadowcat phased through the music director's equipment, it set off a chain reaction in the electrical system. Oh my. It appears that it will hit the sprinkler controls-- right now." Gallons of cold water poured down into the Ultradome from above. Wolverine blinked as he watched his opponent disappear, yet mysteriously left her clothing behind. But wait. There was something moving in the clothes. Something alive. He could smell it. Reaching down, he picked up a cat? Lifting it up, he looked at it, completely confused. The cat thrashed around madly in his vise-like grip. Looking closely at the cat, he noticed that it's--her fur was the same colour as the girl he had been fighting. Giving the cat a sharp rap to the head, she passed out, and the sprinklers stopped working. "The winner by technical knock out, WOOOOLLLLVEEEERRRRIIIINNNNNEEE!!!!" Wolverine looked around, and thought, (Huh? How did that happen?) "That was NOT much of a Fight, DaiSUKe." said Hiroshi, stating the obvious. Daisuke nodded. "And that's the second win attributed to an action committed --before-- the fight. This one appeared to accidental, the acceptible side effects of stopping the music director, who is, even as we speak, recieving the proper treatment." Pulling about four peppermint sticks from out of his mouth, Hiroshi said, "But hey, that sort of thing is about par for the course here at ULTRA." "How very true Hiroshi. But before we go into our third--and final match of the evening, we turn to Mr. Yotsuya, with some post-fight interviews, and this just in-- the newest member of the staff here at Ultra has agreed to say a few words before the Match." **** "Thank you Daisuke. I'm here with Gambit and the Shadowcat.Both of whom had wins due to events before their respective matches had even begun. Mr. Gambit, what are your thoughts about the judges panel about allowing your win?" "Gambit is jus' fine. What good is life, if you don't take a few chances, non?" "Yes. Now, Miss Shadowcat, I've been told that you can't fly, yet you were seen floating up to the musical director's booth. How did you--" "I caught an air current and rode that up so far, and then I've been able to ‘walk on air', so to speak, for quite some time. The one thing I have yet to figure out is how to prevent shorting out electrical systems when I pass through them. Sorry about that." she said, looking rather sheepish. "That's quite alright, miss. These things are bound to happen, until they work all of the bugs out first. Thank you." Gambit and Shadowcat made their thanks, and motioned their goodbyes. "Now, I am pleased to introduce everyone in the television audience the newest member of the Ultra Federation, Mr. Son Goku. Mr. Son, what do you think of the federation thus far?" Goku leaned over a bit, just to make sure he could speak into the microphone properly, and replied, "Well sir, I was disappointed when I wasn't invited, because there's nothing better than a good fight. You can only train for so long, and who knows when that evil threat will decide to show up. But I'm satisfied with the referee position." he paused to indicate his new gi, which was white, with black undershirt, wrist bands, and boots, which were tied off with white cords. "I can watch the fights up close, and I'm allowed to break them up if things get out of hand, so I get a chance to fight." "Thank you Mr. Son, and back to you, Daisuke." *** "Thank you, Mr. Yotsuya. And now, for the final bout of the evening, which has been moved to another dimension for the safety of our viewing audience." "And their BOTH real nasty customers!" "That's true. Let's go to our on the spot camera drones, and see if things were ready." said Daisuke, who was ordering a thick pot of Klatchian coffee for Hiroshi. *** The site chosen for the Omega match was similar toone of the battlefields that the referee, Son Goku had fought in so many times, but unlike those, this land was cast in varying shades of blue, which played tricks to the untrained eye. Goku flew over the area, making sure that the combatants had not hidded anything that would allow them to cheat, and win illegally. In this respect, he was the best man for the position, especially after the guest referee for last week's match had disappeared in the aftermatin of the battle. When he was certain that the area was clean, he descended, and motioned for the fighters to come in. Cyber Akuma was first. He walked in slowly through the doorway between dimensions, and took his postion. Sephiroth floated down, and came to a stop roughly a foot above the ground. Goku stared at the two with deadly intent, and said. Both of you have been told the rules. That means no blowing up the world--" Sephiroth, who was at the recieving end of the stare, said nothing, choosing instead to glare coldly at his opponent. "And no suicide attacks." "..." said the cybernetic Shotokan master. "If either of you break any of the rules, --I-- will break it up. Are we clear?" The sheer intensity of the question shook the two hardened warriors, who nodded silently. Goku nodded, and rose above them. "Fight!" With the hiss of hidden servos, and the thrum of a miniature jet engine, Akuma took to the air, and with a grunt, lobbed off a volley of red Hadoken blasts. Drawing his lengthy sword, Sephiroth destroyed the ki blasts with a single swipe of his weapon. He followed it up with a simple level one fire spell, which the cybernetic demon evaded easily. Taking to the air himself, Sephiroth flew at his foe, and made a series of slashes, that were all blocked. Making his way through the maze of sword strokes, Akuma brought up a hand to the Jenova child's chest, and and released a massive Hadoken at point blank range. Sent flying back by the brunt of the blast, Sephiroth felt a burning sensation, and saw that his armour was charred, but still held. Barely. "It appears that I've underesitmated you, machine." said Sephiroth, breaking the silence, and wiping a thin streak of blood from his mouth. "I have never before been defeated, and I shall not fall today." "Perhaps." said Akuma, his cybernetic arm changing as he spoke, becoming an energy cannon that slowly came to life, stray energy trickling out slowly from a vent on the side. "But rarely have even I fallen. Perhaps today is a good day to die." The two stopped dead in their tracks, as they sensed a massively strong power headed their way. Locking in on it, they saw what appeared to be a flaming serpent flying at insanely fast speeds. A cry of utter and unspeakable hatred issued forth from the serpents mouth. Then, as suddenly as it had appeared, it disappeared, moving so fast that it could not be seen, even by trained eyes. A flaming blur materialised behind Akuma. With a repeated litany of "IhateIhateIhate I [HATE]!", the blur became a woman who burned with the fiery blazes of hell, striking the cybernetic Shotokan master from all sides. Goku, who had been watching this from a safe distance, flew in and with a single blast, knocked the intruder away. He stared in shocked when he saw who the attacker was. "You! You're the one--" She scowled with a burning intensity that was hotter than the flames that surrounded her. "I am the first, and quite possibly the last this century of those who dance the riot of the blood. My [hatred] knows no bounds. I destroy all that I [Hate]!" "So be it. If you want to interfere with this match, you'll have to go through me first." said Goku with a small grin. He knew that this would be a good fight. *** Tugging at his collar, Mr. Yotsuya thought, (I don't care how easy this is. This Omega league is too dangerous. Perhaps they can find someone to do this next week.) "This Mr. Yotsuya here with an exclusive Ultra interview with the Yamato no Orochi, the self-styled god of hatred. Mr. Orochi, you have a statement to make?" Scowling, Orochi replied, "Yes. Starting tonight, I begin my takeover of this... excuse for a federation. The Black Serpent is but the first of those who shall follow me, for my hatred will consume this world!!" Yotsuya gulped. "Yes, but isn't she supposed to register before fighting in a match?" "A mere formality." "Then why did she attempt to break up the current match?" asked Mr. Yotsuya, trying his best to remain professional. "She has been... somewhat overzealous in expressing her hatred." "Yes. Thank you, Mr Orochi." "..." "Back to you, Daisuke." Yotsuya slumped to the floor, having fainted from shock. *** "What an amazing turn of events! Orochi is attempting to take over the Omega League! I- I'm speechless." said Hiroshi, slumping back in his chair. "That's an understatement. But it appears that Cyber Akuma still wants to continue the fight, so we return to the match already in progress." *** Akuma slowly rose to his feet. "While there is still life in me, I will fight on." "Good." said Sephiroth. Holding sword before him, he performed the level three ice spell, which caused a block of ice to form around around the Shotokan master, and then shattered. Akuma's cybernetics, which had been subjected to intense heat and cold, as well as generating dangerous energies, simply couldn't take the strain any longer, causing his arm to explode. He hit the ground, and did not rise. Sheathing his sword, Sephiroth said, "Were it not for that unwanted interruption you might have defeated me. Perhaps we shall fight again. Until then..." he crossed his arms, floated up and back, and then disappeared. *** "And there you have it, folks! Sephiroth wins!" shouted Hiroshi, before drinking some of the coffee. Before it even hit his throat, he went through to the other side of sobriety, and his eyes bugged open. "What did you put in this?" he asked. Daisuke replied, "Nothing. That was pure Klatchian coffee. I doubt you'll be doing anything but stare for some time to come. I want to thank the audience for watching, and to be sure to tune in next week for a new episode od Ultra." *** Shampoo opened her eyes groggily, and then screamed at the top of her lungs. "Child, why do you scream so?" asked Cologne, who had been staring her great-granddaughter in the face when she awoke abruptly. "Am I really that ugly to you?" "Sorry am I, Great-Grandmother. Took me by surprise." Shampoo replied, holding a hand to head to steady the elephants that danced through it. "What happened?" "You lost. And to a man at that. He is someone that we must tread easily around." Shampoo said, "What that mean?" "I am not sure, Great-Granddaughter. Even the lore is confused as to how we should deal with this." "Who I to marry then?" Cologne sighed. Throughout her long and weary years, she had not come upon such a quandary. Ever. "You may have to marry both. Then again, there may be no obligation to marry any of them. I have sent for the council. When they arrive, we will go over the facts of this matter. It would be wise to win your next match. Otherwise, you may face exile from the tribe." "Aiyah...." *** Eight hours later, Goku was still fighting with Naga. He was having the time of his life, and could not believe the stamina of this woman. He would have to tell the others about this. It would be impolite not to tell his friends and family. Naga cursed beneath her breath. All her magic, and her new-found power could not stop this... she couldn't think of an appropriate insult. Every time she thought he was down, he came back, hungry for more. For each worldshaking attack she unleashed, he conntered with one equally, if not more powerful. Her hate grew, and from that hatred, she found strength. *** Orochi lifted his head. "What do you want, woman? Have you come to stop me? To remove me from your worthless federation? I will not leave, now that I have found what I have been searching for oh these very long years." Bright red flame flickered in his eyes and died just as quickly. Smiling sweetly, and leaning against the broom she held, Kasumi Tendo replied, "No. That would disrupt the balance of federation. You may go about your business, as long as you don't make too much of a mess. I shudder to think of what that sweet Goku will end up doing." "Then Naga will be allowed in?" Kasumi nodded. "Yes. After all, the balance must be maintained." JUST WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? WILL GOKU EVER END HIS FIGHT WITH NAGA, OR IS HE HAVING TOO MUCH FUN? IS SHAMPOO ENGAGED TO WOLVERINE, OR IS IT JUST A CRUEL COSMIC JOKE? FIND OUT IN NEXT WEEKS INSTALLMENT OF MAGICAL TROUBLESHOOTING CROSSOVER FIGHTING FEDERATION ULTRA! ][ Ultra Episode Three Recap ][ Gambit transferred to Gamma League. ][ Gambit won Gamma match. 1win/0loss ][ New Fighter Shadowcat joins Lambda League, replacing Gambit as Wolverine's partner. ][ Wolverine/Shadowcat win Lambda match. 1win/1loss ][ New fighter Naga joins Omega League. ][ Sephiroth won Omega match. 1win/0loss ][ Mr. Yotsuya becomes interviewer. ][ Son Goku becomes Referee, Omega league. http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic/ [editor's note : Because Naga didn't actually officially fight, and her entrance was coordinated between multiple authors and myself, I cleared this part to int roduce two new fighters/teams despite the one limit. Also, Gokuu is not in Omega and is only a ref, and does not count. Check the website in a week's time for e pisode 4 and have a happy wrestlemania weekend! ^_^]