[One week ago]

	Shingo was pissed.

	Now, Shingo was a rather even-tempered young man. Excitable, to be sure, 
but not a guy prone to anger. Having not fought in a while, though, he was 
really looking forward to that match against Gambit. He needed a chance to 
redeem himself after that incident with Yamazaki...

	And Sakura had come out of nowhere, knocked him unconscious, and taken the 
match.

	HIS match. HIS chance for redemption. HIS chance to regain the pride he 
lost when he wimped out against Ryuji.

	Shingo was pissed. And he wanted Sakura.

	"Sakura! Where are you!" he screamed, running through the halls of the 
Ultradome.  The crowd had long since left, and Shingo's screams echoed 
throughout the building. He had already checked the entire place twice, and was 
now making his third trip around.

	"Sakura! Why'd you knock me out? WHY?!? That was my match!" He fell to the 
ground, gasping for breath, on the verge of tears. "My match..."

	"Hey, Shingo, you okay?"

	Shingo looked up to see Ranma standing over him, a concerned look in his 
eyes. Behind him, a short haired girl was pulling on his arms impatiently.

	"Come ON Ranma," said Nabiki, obviously not in one of her better moods, 
"we don't have time for this. If you want to get back into the hunt for the 
Gamma belt, we have a lot of work to do. You've obviously lost some of your 
edge..."

	"I have not lost my edge, Nabiki!" Ranma yelled, throwing his hands in the 
air. "I made a mistake and hesitated, and I paid for it. No big deal. Next time 
I fight Marlo, I'll pulp him."

	"That's not what it looked like, Saotome. It looked like you couldn't 
bring yourself to finish him off. Afraid of hurting him?"

	"I'm not afraid of nuthin'!" Ranma opened his mouth to continue, but 
stopped to take a deep breath. "Listen Nabiki, I'm really not in the mood for 
this discussion. I'll catch with ya later." 

	"Whatever you say, Ranma," said Nabiki sarcastically as she walked out 
into the parking lot.

	"Are you okay, sensei?"

	Turning around, Ranma saw that Shingo had gotten back to his feet and had 
apparently pulled himself together. "Yeah, I'm fine. Nabiki just gets under my 
skin sometimes," he mumbled, shaking his head slightly, "but that's no big deal. 
What's up with you?"

	"I'm looking for Sakura. She knocked me out and stole my match against 
Gambit."

	"Well, last I saw her, she went through some portal Orochi opened up... 
you do know that she's possessed now, right?"

	"Orochi got her?" Shingo asked, surprised, "Well, I guess that explains 
why she jumped me. But it doesn't change the fact that she stole my match. She's 
gonna pay for that," he muttered, seething.

	Ranma nodded, understanding where Shingo was coming from. "She's a lot 
more powerful than she was before, though. She really wiped the floor with 
Gambit. No offense, but I don't you'd stand a chance against her."

	Shingo's shoulders slumped slightly at that. "I respect you opinion, 
sensei, but I have to try...I have to..." Suddenly, Shingo's eyes brightened. 
"But I'd have a better chance if you trained me, right? You could help me get 
ready, teach me to fight like you..."

	"Hold it right there!" Ranma interrupted, grabbing Shingo by the 
shoulders. "First of all, I don't have time to train you. I have to get myself 
ready to fight. And even if I had time, I can't teach you to fight like me."

	Shingo looked confused. "Why not? I could copy your stances, your 
counters, your strategies..."

	"That's your problem right there. You can't fight like me. You have to 
fight like YOU."

	Shingo was now even more confused. "What do you mean, fight like me? I 
fight like you and Kyo-san..."

	"Exactly my point!" yelled Ranma, a little frustration creeping into his 
voice. "You'd be a much better fighter if you stopped copying other peoples 
styles and developed one of you own!"

	Shingo nodded in understanding, but a look of apprehension passed over my 
face. "But I've devoted the last few years to learning how to fight like Kyo-
san..."

	Ranma shook his head. "And that's what keeping you from being a good 
martial artist." Ranma paused for a moment. "Lemme explain some stuff to you."

	Both fighters sat down, and Ranma continued. "My pop taught me everything 
I know. But my style is nothing like his."

	"How is that possible?" Shingo interjected. "If he taught you to fight 
like him, why don't you..."

	"He didn't teach me to fight like him! That's exactly the point I'm trying 
to make!" said Ranma, becoming a bit exasperated. "He just taught me to fight!" 
Ranma paused, collecting his thoughts. "My dad's a big guy. He's nowhere near as 
fast as me, but his body structure means that he's a lot stronger. I can't fight 
like him, because my strengths are different than his."

	Shingo nodded. "I'm following you so far."

	"Good. Now, one of the first thing my dad taught me when we really started 
to train hard was how to learn martial arts," Ranma said, really starting to get 
into it. "A good martial artist has to be able to figure out if a technique fits 
into his style, and whether or not he wants to use it."

	"So... like, if he taught you a technique that was power based, and you 
didn't feel comfortable using it, you wouldn't use it in a fight?"

	"You're getting it!" said Ranma, finally starting to smile a little. "Your 
problem is that your trying to use the styles other people built for themselves. 
You and Kyo are different people with different skills. You can't try to fight 
like him and have any chance of being good."

	Shingo nodded, mentally taking notes. "I wish I had my notebook with 
me..."

	Ranma's smile disappeared. "That's another thing! You have got to stop 
using that stupid notebook. It makes you look like an idiot out there," he 
barked, scowling.

	"But I need it to remember my moves, sensei!"

	"If you figured out your own style, you wouldn't need a notebook to 
remember your moves! A true martial artist can pull off his techniques without 
even thinking!"

	 "Really? Then, if I figure out my style, I'll be able to stop using the 
notebook?" said Shingo hopefully. He'd endured some vicious taunting at the King 
of Fighters tournaments about that. "So what's my style?"

	"I can't tell you that!" yelled Ranma. You have to figure it out for..."

	Ranma paused when he saw the dejected look on Shingo's face. After a 
moment, he sighed. "Ah, screw it. I'll give ya a hand with it. But these are 
just suggestions, okay? You really have to figure out what you're actually going 
to do by yourself."

	Shingo nodded. "No problem, Ranma-sensei!"

	"Alright, with your body type, a speed strategy won't work. So anything 
involving lots of dodging and movement is out. But you're still pretty agile, 
which allows you to chain hits together... how are you at taking hits?"

	"Pretty good," said Shingo, thinking. "I've taken a pretty severe beating 
from Iori and kept going."

	Ranma nodded. "If you can stand up to a beating from Iori, you can take 
punishment. I'd recommend a heavily offensive strategy. Trade hits, betting on 
your superior strength and stamina to carry you through fights. What this means, 
though, is that you're gonna have to be able to deal out a lot of punishment 
fast, especially against the heavy hitters. So you might wanna scrap a lot of 
the moves you copied from Kyo..."

	"But those are the moves I use the most!"

	"Do you wan to become a real martial artist or not?" barked Ranma.

	"Y-yes," Shingo said, nervous.
 
	"Good. Then listen to me and drop those moves. All of them are designed 
for Kyo to use with those flames of his. By themselves, they don't do enough 
damage to work well for you. You can still use the ones you feel most 
comfortable with, but you need your own moves that flow from your own style."

	"Well, I have my Shingo Kick..."

	Suddenly, an idea hit Ranma. "You feel comfortable doing that kick, 
right?"

	"Yup. It's my favorite move."

	"Why don't you try incorporating more flying kicks, and kicks in general, 
into your fighting? It would seem to make sense, if that's what you're 
comfortable with."

	Shingo, for the first time so far, smiled. "So you think I can be a kick 
specialist? Maybe I can work some Tae Kwon Do into my style..."

	"Now you're thinking like a martial artist!" shouted Ranma, jumping to his 
feet. "You might want to look at some southern style wu shu too. At higher 
levels, they use a lot of really good kick combinations."

	Shingo got to his feet, now smiling broadly. "Thanks a lot, Ranma-sensei! 
Now I think I can be ready for Sakura!"

	Ranma shrugged. "I still don't think it's a good idea, but... ah, I'd do 
the same thing you're doing," he said, a sad smile creeping onto his face. "Good 
luck."

	"Luck nothing. It'll all be skill," said Shingo, chuckling as he walked 
away. "G'night, Ranma-sensei!"

	"Night, Shingo." As Shingo turned a corner, Ranma shook his head. "I hope 
he knows what he's doing..."


*******

	"Are you sure you want to do this?"

	Bean threw his arms up into the air. " I don't know. But even though 
Tifa's been doing okay lately, I know this thing with that Cloud guy is still 
bothering her. And, as a friend, I gotta do what I can."

	Aerith nodded. "What are you going to say to him, though? Cloud's not a 
person that likes to discuss his feelings."

	Bean smiled and cracked his knuckles audibly. "I think I can persuade him 
to talk."

	"Both Tifa and Cloud have had tough lives. They've been through things I 
can't even imagine. Are you sure you want to get involved in this?"

	"I'm already involved. Tifa's my partner, and she's one of the few people 
I can call a friend. If I can get this Cloud guy to get off his ass and do 
something...well, it'll make Tifa happy. And that's what matters, right?"

	"I guess so," Aerith said, moving over to a complicated machine. "This is 
going to teleport you to Nibbelhelm, which is Tifa's hometown. Cloud should be 
there. Anyone you run into should be able to tell you exactly where he is."

	"Great," Bean said, checking his pockets to make sure he had everything he 
wanted to bring, "and I'll use that phone you gave me to call you when I want to 
come back, right?"

	"Right. Are you ready?"

	Bean grinned slightly. "Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once 
more."

	Aerith giggled. "I wouldn't have thought that you'd be able to quote 
Shakespeare."

	"I surprise a lot of people," laughed Bean. "I'm ready when you are."

	"Allright, transport in 3...2...1...GO!!!"

	A bright blue column of light surrounded Bean, forcing him to close his 
eyes. When he opened them, he found himself on the outskirts of a fair sized 
town.

	"I guess this is Tifa's home town. Nice little place," Bean said to nobody 
in particular as he walked into the town.

	As he walked up a path leading to the Town Square (no pun intended), he 
noticed an old woman sitting on the porch of her house, knitting something or 
other. Smiling, he walked up to the house and waved hello.

	"Excuse me, but do you have a moment?"

	"Why sure, sonny. You're not from around here, are you?" the old woman 
said, pulling her glasses up to examine Bean. "I don't remember seeing you 
before."

	"Nah, I'm not from around here. I'm looking for a guy with a big sword..."

	"Aren't we all, my boy?" the woman laughed, grinning widely.

	Bean thought about that for a second. And another second. And another. And 
then he blushed severely. "That's... not quite what I meant..."

	"I know, I know," the woman said, still chuckling, "I just like to tease 
you young people. You're looking for Cloud Strife, right?"

	"Yup. I'm a friend of a friend."

	"Well, that's nice. The boy needs to lighten up." The old woman leaned 
close to Bean's ear. "Just between you and me, I think he needs to get the stick 
removed from his rear end. He's always so serious!" she whispered, still 
smiling.

	Bean blinked audibly, a small sweatdrop appearing on his forehead. 
"I'll...keep that in mind when I talk to him. So where can I find him?"

	"Go down that road, and when you get to the Town Square, it's the second 
house on your right. You can't miss it."

	"Thank you very much, ma'am."

	"No problem, my boy. It's nice to see fresh faces around here."

	As Bean walked away, he began to question whether or not he was gonna be 
able to get anything done. From what Aerith had said, Cloud wasn't exactly an 
outgoing guy, and all this sentimental stuff really didn't fall under Bean's 
area of expertise.

	"Well, when, in doubt, go with what you know," he muttered to himself as 
he walked up to a modest sized house. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, 
he knocked on the door.

	After a few seconds, a well-built man with spiky blond hair opened the 
door. "Can I help you...oh, you're Tifa's partner, aren't you? What're you doing 
her-"

	*WHAM*

	Bean's punch sent Cloud sprawling back into the house and onto the floor. 
Siting up, he shot a menacing glare at Bean. "What the hell was that for?"

	Bean smiled ruefully as he cracked his knuckles. "You and me, Cloud... 
we're gonna have words."

**********

	"It's so good to see you again, sensei."

	"My child, you defeated me at the Beta tournament. You need not refer to 
me as sensei."

	Kasumi smiled. "Whatever you prefer. Have you finished what I asked you to 
do?"

	The martial artist smiled, tapping his can idly on the floor. "Yes, the 
boy learned the technique even faster than I expected. Truly, that maneuver is 
well suited to his personality."

	"That's why I asked you to come," Kasumi said cheerfully. "I'm afraid 
can't talk much, though. Jack-san is going to be back soon, and he'll want me 
there. I terribly sorry."

	"Think nothing of it, my child. I was just glad I could help."

*********

        				LIVE!
                        FROM THE ULTRADOME!
                      THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE
                    IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME
                      SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
                         AND IMPROFANFIC!
                          IT'S TIME FOR...

            {    M A G I C A L  C R O S S O V E R    }
            {  F I G H T I N G  F E D E R A T I O N  }
            {             .-----------.              }
            {             | U-L-T-R-A |              }
            {             `-----------'              }
            { http://pixelscapes.com/improfanfic     }

      Episode 25 : And The Hits Just Keep on Coming (*WHAM* Gimme More!)
                        Written by Jesse Ellman
         Sole Member, Better Later than Even Later Productions
        "Producing Quality Fanfiction Since Sometime Next Month. Hopefully."


	The great philosopher Plato once described a concept known as forms. One 
could be not just moral, but Moral. The essence of moral. At one with the Tao of 
morality.

	The crowd at the Ultradome was Loud.

	The rafters shook. The floor shook. The shaking shook. Thousands upon 
thousands of people had their life spans shortened by the deafening roar.

	And they were loving every minute of it.

	"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, BOYS AND GIRLS, PETS OF ALL AGES... THIS... IS... 
ULTRA!!!!!"

	The crowd grew even louder, if that was possible, in response to Hiroshi's 
greeting. "We have a great show lined up for you tonight! Marlo Semaj, coming 
off his win against Ranma last week, will be challenging Mr. Satan for the Gamma 
championship! That should be one hell of a fight, folks!"

	"We also have two other Gamma fights, including a handicap match, plus an 
Omega match," said Daisuke, calm within the storm that was the Ultradome. "And, 
thankfully, we've convinced Jack to let us wear normal clothes this week." Sure 
enough, both Hiroshi and Daisuke were in normal tuxedos, albeit with Mr. Duck 
ties. You win some, you lose some.

	"Well then fans, before we get started, I just have one question I want to 
ask you all," said Hiroshi seriously, getting to his feet. 

	"Here it comes," muttered Daisuke, putting his earplugs back in.

	"ARE YOU READY...FOR A LITTLE...Ultraviolence?" Hiroshi yelled, dropping 
his voice a couple of octaves for the last word.

	The crowd roared. They whooped. They screamed. They were READY.

	Hiroshi sat back down, smiling, and put his headphones back on. "So 
without any further ado, let's get to our first match of the night, a 
spectacular Omega division rematch between..."

	"HOLD ON ONE SECOND!!!"

	The entire Ultradome turned their heads to see a determined looking Shingo 
Yabuki standing on the entrance ramp, microphone in hand. There was a smattering 
of applause, but not much (after all, he hasn't fought in like three months).

	"OHMYGOD, WHAT A DEVELOPMENT!" yelled Hiroshi, excited. "Shingo Yabuki has 
appeared after three months of relative obscurity, and it looks like he has a 
few things to say! What could he want?"

	"Well, this is just a guess," Daisuke said, "But I think he might be a 
little annoyed at getting knocked out by Sakura last week."

	"Sakura, I want a match with you! Right here, right now!"

	"Daisuke, right on target as always folks!" said Hiroshi, smiling and 
patting his partner on the shoulder. "Shingo is calling out Sakura, in hopes of 
getting a little bit of payback for last week! But does he have what it takes to 
stand up to the recently Orochi-fied Shotokoner?"

	"I don't think so," said Daisuke thoughtfully. "Sakura pretty much mauled 
Gambit last week, and I don't think Shingo is in Gambit's class."

	"Yes, but Shingo is motivated by a burning desire for revenge! That alone 
could give him the strength to match up with Sakura!

	Daisuke shook his head. "I'm not sure..."

	"WORK WITH HIM, DAISUKE!!!" screamed the crowd, cheering wildly.

	Daisuke sweatdropped. "You see what you started?" he said, turning to 
Hiroshi.

	Hiroshi smiled. "Lighten up, Dai. It's all- wait, it look like Shingo has 
some more to say."

	"Orochi! What's the matter? Afraid your prize pawn can't beat a guy who 
hasn't fought in three months?"	
	   
	A burst of purple flame shot out of the center of the ring, and a ghostly 
image of the God of Hate stepped out. "What do you want, whelp? I have better 
things to do than listen to you prattle on."

	"Simple," said Shingo, walking towards the ring. "I want Sakura. You have 
her."

	Orochi chuckled evilly. "And why, pray tell, should I waste her on a 
pathetic little boy like you?"

	"Because if you don't, then everyone here will know that you're a coward."

	"I care not what these fools think of me," Orochi scoffed. "They shall all 
soon be consumed by the Void."

	Shingo smiled. "Well, I guess the crowd wouldn't look down on you if you 
didn't want to have Sakura fight me. After all, considering how many times Kyo's 
kicked you around, they'd probably understand if you were afraid to send your 
champion out against his student."

	The crowd "ooh"ed. 

	"Shingo's obviously trying to goad the Orochi into letting Sakura fight. 
I'm not sure if it's going to work, though," said Daisuke, looking on at the 
exchange taking place just a few feet away.

	Arcs of purple energy danced between Orochi's eyes. "Very well. If it 
truly wish to be consumed by the Void so badly, I will not stand in your way."

	"Of course, I could be mistaken," said Daisuke, laughing nervously.

	A huge column of purple flame surrounded Orochi, forcing all nearby to 
avert their eyes. When the flame died down, Sakura was standing there in her 
all-black uniform from last week.

	Hiroshi, who had been unusually silent for the last minute or two, let it 
all burst out. "WHAT A NIGHT, FOLKS! We've just gotten started and we already 
have an unscheduled GRUDGE match for you! This is exactly why Ultra is the #1 
sports entertainment show anywhere!"

	"Shingo's climbed into the ring, and both fighters are standing in their 
corners, sizing each other up. And...it looks like they're ready to begin."

] [ GAMMA MATCH
] [ SHINGO YABUKI vs. EVIL SAKURA... FIGHT!!!

	As Sakura started to advance on Shingo from across the ring, Shingo broke 
out into a sprint and, with a cry of "Shingo Kick", flew into the air with a 
spinning roundhouse kick, catching Sakura full on in the jaw and sending her 
tumbling back to her corner.

	Getting to her feet, Sakura threw a jab at Shingo to give herself some 
space to work with. The punch snapped Shingo's head back, but he blocked the 
follow-up punch-kick combination and responded with a lightning-fast series of 
kicks to the midsection.

"Peanuts Frying on a Warm Skillet!" he yelled, driving his foot into Sakura's 
stomach at fairly impressive speeds. The kicks knocked Sakura back into her 
corner. Recovering quickly, she threw a few fireballs at Shingo to back him off.

	"Shingo looks like a new fighter here today!" said Hiroshi excitedly. 

	"He's being a lot more aggressive than we've ever seen him be, to be 
sure," remarked Daisuke, looking on as Shingo dodged around fireball after 
fireball, trying to get closer to Sakura. "He seems to have incorporated more 
kicks into his repertoire of moves, including that impressive, albeit poorly 
named, adaptation of Ranma's Chestnut Fist move." 

	Back in the ring, Shingo dodged around another fireball and charged in on 
Sakura's flank, hoping to catch her off guard. Unfortunately, she saw this 
coming and teleported away, leaving Shingo to crash into the turnbuckle.

	As Shingo staggered back, Sakura reappeared behind him and launched a 
series of punches into his back, ending with multi-hit uppercut to the back of 
his head.

	"What a combination by Sakura, folks! She's always been a formidable 
fighter, but ever since her possession by the Orochi she's been even more 
dangerous!" yelled Hiroshi.

	"Gambit will attest to that fact," said Daisuke, as Shingo struggled to 
his feet. "Despite Shingo's change in style, I'm not sure that he's a match for 
Sakura."

	"But that's not gonna stop him from trying folks! He's back on his feet 
and ready to rock!"
 
	Shingo was indeed back on his feet, although he was still a little shaky. 
Sakura, seeing this, ran in for another uppercut...

	And was pounded back into the turnbuckle by a Shoulder Charge by Shingo.

	"What a move!" yelled Hiroshi, leaning over the announcers table. "Shingo 
caught Sakura coming in and rung her bell with a shoulder right under the jaw! I 
don't care if she is possessed by Orochi, that's gotta hurt!"

	"Sakura does look a little shaken up," said Daisuke, nodding. "She in 
worse shape now than she was at any point in last weeks match. Shingo might just 
have a chance here."

	  Seeing Sakura shaken up, Shingo charged in with a running elbow, hoping 
to catch her off guard. Sakura teleported away again, and reappeared behind him. 
Anticipating this, Shingo threw out a back fist, which caught Sakura right on 
the jaw.

	Recovering quickly, Sakura lunged at Shingo, tossing vicious punches and 
kicks from all angles. Shingo stood his ground, blocking what he could and 
firing back with everything he had.

	"They're going toe-to-toe in the middle of the ring, giving it all they 
got!" yelled Hiroshi, now standing. "Both fighters are pouring it on with 
complete disregard for their own well-being! They're only concern is victory!"

	Daisuke, too, was standing, looking on intently at the fight. "I don't 
know how much more of this there fighters can take. Both of them have got to be 
running on sheer adrenaline by now."

	The standoff at mid-ring finally came to an end when Sakura snuck in a 
vicious punch to the gut, leaving Shingo gasping for air and wide open for the 
fireball Sakura fired off at point blank range, which knocked Shingo back across 
the ring and onto his knees. 

********

	Meanwhile, in the Spirit of Shotokan Dojo, the members of ORO were having 
a conference regarding last weeks events.

	"The main question," Ryu said calmly, "is whether or not we can trust 
Sakura. Gambit, you talked to her. What do you think?"

	Gambit shrugged, which caused him to wince slightly; the beating he had 
taken last week still hadn't completely healed. "I don' know, mon amis. I'd like 
to trust the little lady, but I don' know if we can. First ting Gambit learn on 
the streets is never let an enemy get behind you. It all seems..."

	"Too convenient, I know," said Ryu, his brow furrowed. "there are too many 
unanswered questions. If she isn't possessed, how did she get so powerful?"

	"And don't you think Orochi would realize that having his head almost 
explode might mean that the ritual didn't go as planned?" asked Ken. "And even 
if he didn't notice, what about his flunkies? Wouldn't they say something?"

	Ryu shrugged. "I don't know. I think the best thing we can do is go along 
with it, but watch our backs. And we have to figure out what that rock she gave 
Gambit is-"

	"Hey guys, Sakura is on TV fighting some guy!" yelled a random Shotokan 
person from across the room.

	Everyone rushed over to the TV to see Shingo and Sakura fighting it out in 
the middle of the ring. "C'mon, everybody, let's go!" yelled Ryu, as they all 
ran out towards the ring.

*********

	"It looks like Shingo's finally reached his limit here," said Daisuke, now 
sitting again. "He put up a great effort, but I just don't think he has what it 
takes to stand up to Sakura. Frankly, I'm not sure anyone in Gamma can stan-"

	"Hold on, Dai!" shouted Hiroshi. "It looks like Sakura's going to try to 
finish Shingo off with the Raging Demon!"

	Shingo looked up to see Sakura getting ready to launch into the Raging 
Demon. Clutching his stomach, he weakly brought himself up to one knee just as 
Sakura started to float towards him from across the ring. "Here goes nothing," 
he coughed to himself.

	With a weak cry of "SHINGO FLURRY!!!", the young fighter launched himself 
at the advancing Sakura with a deluge of side kicks, roundhouse kicks, jump 
kicks, and every other imaginable type of kick.

	 "Shingo's charging right into the middle of the Raging Demon! What is he 
thinking!" yelled Hiroshi, almost falling out of is chair.

	As the two fighters collided, a blinding white light obscured them, and 
all that could be heard was the sound of flesh striking flesh. After a moment, 
the light faded away, revealing both fighters lying on the ground, barely 
conscious. Black cherry blossoms floated down from above, covering the ring and 
both fighters.

	"Sweet Buddha chained to a wheel and rolled down a hill!" exclaimed 
Hiroshi (causing Daisuke to raise an eyebrow). "Shingo managed to partially 
counter the Raging Demon, and now both fighters are down on the mat! What a 
fight, folks!"

	"SAKURA!!!"

	A huge cheer erupted as Ryu, Ken, Gambit, and Gourry charged down the ramp 
towards the ring. But before they could get there, a black portal appeared 
around Sakura, and she disappeared. The ghostly image of Orochi reappeared above 
the ring, smiling evilly.

	"You fools! You think I would expose my champion without being ready to 
bring her back here if you weaklings tried to interfere? I'll say it one more 
time: you will [NOT] get her back. She belongs to the Void now."

	And with that, the God of Hate disappeared.

	"Dammit!" yelled Ken, pounding his fist into his palm. "We almost had he-"

	"*Groan* Did anybody get the licensee plate number of that oil tanker?"

	The members of ORO turned around to see Shingo struggling to his feet. 
Stepping into the ring, they helped the young fighter to his feet.

	"You okay?" asked Ryu, concerned. "You just took a nasty beating out 
there."

	Shingo chuckled weakly. "Oh, I'm going to be sore for a month, but I'll be 
okay."

	Outside the ring, Hiroshi turned to Daisuke. "So does Shingo win the 
match?"

	Daisuke paused for a second. "I think so. Sakura disappeared while they 
were both still conscious."

	Hiroshi nodded, and then jumped to his feet, holding his microphone. 
"Ladies and gentleman, the winner of this match is SHINGO YABUKI!!"

	The crowd roared with approval as they all got to their feet, giving 
Shingo a standing ovation and chanting his name. Smiling, Ryu lifted the wobbly 
fighter's arm into the air, which elicited another roar from the crowd.

	"I...won? I won!" Shingo stumbled into the middle of the ring and raised 
his fist into the air. "Oreno...Kachita!" he shouted, drawing yet another roar 
of applause from the crowd. After basking in the applause for a few moments, he 
left the ring (with the help of Gourry and Ryu) and walked up the ramp to the 
locker rooms.

	"And an incredible win by Shingo Yabuki has earned him a well deserved 
standing ovation from this huge crowd here in the Ultradome! I don't know how 
we're going to be able to top that, Daisuke!" said Hiroshi, on his feet and 
clapping.

	"It certainly was an impressive showing for the young warrior, especially 
since he's had such a long layoff since his last real fight," said Daisuke 
calmly. "But we're certainly gonna try to top it with the rest of our fights, 
starting with an Omega match when we return from these commercial messages."

*********

	[Cut to scene: A group of college students struggling to stay awake in a 
class while a professor rambles on in front of the room.]

	"Are you tired of college classes taught by ivy covered professors in ivy 
covered halls?" A large man in an expensive shirt, wearing a pair of REALLY 
expensive sunglasses, walks in through the side door. The students look up, 
interested. "Do you want something new, something interesting, a championship 
quality education without the terminal boredom? Do you want... the Peoples' 
Education?"

	The entire class nods vigorously. The man lowers his sunglasses, smiles, 
and raises a single eyebrow.

	"Then apply today to SMACKDOWN UNIVERSITY!!! The most electrifying 
university in higher learning today!"

	"The Rock, the people's educator, president and founder of Smackdown 
University, says that this new vision in college education is located in 
picturesque Smackdown, New York, only twenty miles from New York City. This 
provides students with a world class educational atmosphere."

	"As for those "traditional" universities... they do not impress the Rock. 
Nothing they have ever done has impressed the Rock. 'You're taking away our 
students,' they whine. Well, the Rock says to those schools that students are 
coming to Smackdown University because you plain SUCK! So the Rock says you can 
take your tradition, turn it sideways, and shove it up your candy asses!"
	
	The Rock pauses for a moment to bask in the cheers from the students. "And 
the Rock says that Smackdown University has some of the finest professors and 
programs in the country, with top notch degrees in engineering-"

	("Shut you mouth and know your damn quantum physics, jabroni!!!")		

	"...and acting-"

	("Shut your mouth and know your damn role, jabroni!!!")

	"...as well as fifty-three other nationally recognized degree programs. 
And our admission policies are unique among all universities, allowing us to 
pick only the best of the best."

[The scene changes. The Rock is sitting behind a desk, talking to a snobbish 
looking young man.] 

	"What'd you get on the SAT's, kid?"
 
	"Well, my good man, I'm proud to say that I got a 16-"
 
	"IT DOESN'T MATTER what you got on the SATs'!!!" The Rock picks up the 
young man and Rock Bottoms' him through the floor, and then stands up, dusts 
himself off, and sits back down. "Here at Smackdown University, your acceptance 
is based solely on your interview skills. None of that candy-assed testing crap 
here! This year alone, we expect to receive thousands..."

	"...and thousands!" the students, now standing outside the office, added 
helpfully.

	"...of applications from the most electrifying students in academia today! 
So if you think you have what it takes to learn from the Great One, call 1-800-
JABRONI now for an application to Smackdown University, or visit our website at 
www.u_smackdown.edu to apply online... If you SMELL... what the ROCK..."

	The Rock does that cool moving-his-head-around thing, lowers his glasses, 
and raises a single eyebrow.

	"...is teaching."

*********

	Daisuke shook his head. "Those American commercials are just getting 
weirder and weirder."

	"Anyway, our next match will be an Omega division rematch. Last time 
Megaman and Sephiroth faced, Megaman was able to pull out a narrow victory when 
he recovered Sephiroth's Bachamut Zero Materia. Will Megaman's luck continue 
this week? And what happened to Megaman after he was pulled through that portal 
during his match last week? And what idiot is responsible for those annoying new 
Gap commercials?  All these questions will be answered in just a few moments!" 
said Hiroshi, who then proceeded to take a really deep breath.

	"You did that all on one breath?" said Daisuke, mildly impressed. Shaking 
his head slightly, he turned back to the match at hand. "This fight will take 
place on a small island north of Greenland, so hopefully we won't have any 
interruptions like we've had in the last few Omega matches."

*********

	Sephiroth, floating a couple of feet off the ground, looked up at Son 
Goku. "Where is my opponent?"

	"Oh, he should be here any minute now," said Goku, smiling. "Look, there's 
the portal now."

	A shimmering portal opened up about twenty yards away from the two men. 
After a few moments, Megaman stepped out.

	But he was different. 
	
	He was taller and leaner, and his armor was a mix of white and blue, 
instead of the all-blue armor he used to wear. His helmet was all white, and his 
blaster was bigger and meaner looking.

	"You ready?"

	Oh yeah, and his voice had been dropped a couple of octaves, so he no 
longer sounded like a pokemon who had sucked on helium. 

	Sephiroth didn't even bother to raise an eyebrow. "All of your new toys 
are nothing compared the son of Jenova. You will fall."

	Megaman smiled. "We'll see."

] [ OMEGA DIVISION
] [ SEPHIROTH vs. MEGAMAN...FIGHT!!!

	As Goku disappeared, Megaman, who had been charging up his blaster while 
he and Sephiroth were talking, shot out a huge blot of energy at the surprised 
ex-SOLDIER, who caught the blast right in the chest. And smiled.

	"Not bad. But not good enough," he said, holding his sword out towards 
Megaman. "Fire 3."

	A huge plume of flame shot out towards the robotic fighter. Hitting a 
button on his blaster, Megaman switched to Storm Tornado and fired, shooting 
powerful winds into the flames and dissipating them enough so that the heat 
didn't really harm him. Quickly, he switched back to his normal weapon and fired 
several shots, which Sephiroth easily dodged.

	"Enough of this foolishness," said Sephiroth, bring Masamune into ready 
position. "I refuse to waste any more of my time with you."

	As he finished his sentence, Sephiroth charged at Megaman, his sword 
slashing through the air so fast it was only a blur.

	Megaman did his best to ward Sephiroth off, dodging and firing back at 
Sephiroth, but he was unused to facing people as skilled as the bishonen half-
angel. Most of Megaman's enemies attacked in predictable patterns. Sephiroth, on 
the other hand, was a master swordsman, and Megaman had the dents in his armor 
to prove it.

	Desperately, he jumped backwards and fired a full power blast directly 
into Sephiroth's face, knocking the warrior back a few feet. But Sephiroth still 
looked as calm as ever.

	"Why is it so hard for me to find an opponent who truly tests my skills?" 
said Sephiroth, switching into angsty-bishonen mode. "All I get is robot after 
robot. Are there no real fighters in this worthless federation?"

	While Sephiroth was angsting, Megaman and using the time to desperately 
try to come up with some way to prevent being turned into scrap metal. Much as 
he hated to admit it, he was in WAY over his head here, despite the improvements 
Washuu had made. Seeing that Sephiroth's rant was winding down, he activated his 
Fire Wave, hoping the flame attack would give him some more time to think.

	Sephiroth turned around just in time to get a blast of flame right in the 
chest. He stumbled back slightly and flew into the air, out of the reach of the 
weapon. "It's time to end this. Ice 3," he said calmly, holding Masamune out.

	Nothing happened.

	"What the?" said Sephiroth, his calm demeanor broken momentarily as he 
stared down at his weapon. "What's wrong with my materia?"

	Suddenly, to the left of Sephiroth, a portal opened up, and a average 
sized man with an odd hair cut, wearing shiny black and silver clothes, walked 
out of the portal.

	"A summoning spell?" said Sephiroth, now fairly confused. "I didn't use a 
summoning spell. What's going on here?"

	Megaman, who's databanks were filled with vast stores of information, 
immediately recognized the figure that stepped out of the portal. Turning off 
his hearing circuits, he looked up to see  Sephiroth slowly approaching the man 
who had just stepped out of the portal. "This isn't gonna be pretty," he 
muttered.

	"I did not summon you," said Sephiroth, slowly regaining his composure. 
"Leave now, or face my wrath."

	The summoned man ignored Sephiroth as he stood where he was, head bowed. 
Out of nowhere, a medium paced rhythm started to play. A sharp pain surged 
through Sephiroth's head, but he ignored it. "I said leave this battlefield 
NOW," said Sephiroth menacingly.

	After a couple of seconds, Sephiroth lifted his blade, intent on slicing 
the man into ribbons. And then, he did something that Sephiroth didn't expect.

	He started to dance and sing.

	o/" All right stop, Collaborate and listen o/"
	o/" Ice is back with my brand new invention o/"

	Sephiroth grabbed his head in pain. What was that musi... no, it wasn't 
music. That infernal screeching. It burned Sephiroth's ears. It hurt like 
nothing Sephiroth had felt before.

	o/" Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know o/"
	o/" Turn off the lights and I'll glow o/"

	Sephiroth was now on the ground, having collapsed in agony. It felt as if 
someone was driving red hot needles into his brain. Desperately, he reached for 
his sword, trying to find some way to make the pain end.

	o/" If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it o/"
	o/" Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it o/" 
	o/" Ice Ice Baby... o/"

	Crawling on the ground, Sephiroth finally reached his sword. Holding it 
tightly in one hand, he muttered something under his breath. A soft light 
surrounded him, and then he was gone.

	Son Goku appeared and blasted the summoned beast with a huge column of 
energy, reducing it to ash. And the world was a better place.

	Turning to Megaman, Son Goku started to speak. "Even though I can't really 
blame Sephiroth for wanting to get away," said Goku, cringing, "leaving the 
battlefield in cause for disqualification. You are the winner."

	As Megaman walked towards the portal back to Washuu's lab, he looked down 
at his battered armor, which was dented all over. "I sure don't look like the 
winner..." he mumbled as he stepped through the portal.

*********

	Hiroshi, for perhaps the first time in his life, was speechless.

	Daisuke was not.

	"What in the hell was that?" he said, stunned.

	Luckily, the people in the tech booth had seen what was happening, and had 
cut off the audio feed from the battlefield. Nonetheless, the entire crowd was 
stunned silent, dumbfounded at what they had just seen.

	"I have no clue, Daisuke. It looks like somebody switched materia on 
Sephiroth. But I didn't know there was a materia that could summon...HIM," said 
Hiroshi quietly, still a bit shaken.

	"I have a better question for you," said Daisuke, a serious look on his 
face. "Who's crazy enough to piss off Sephiroth?"

	Hiroshi shrugged. "I dunno, man, but they'd have to be a few syllables 
short of a haiku, that's for sure..."

	Hiroshi looked at Daisuke. Daisuke looked at Hiroshi. They both spoke at 
the same time.

	"Jack."

********

	Up in Heaven, Jack was laughing his ass off.

	"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

	After a few minutes, Jack managed to compose himself and pull himself back 
up into his chair.

	"I've gotta hand it to you, Mr. Duck," he said, looking at his yellow 
companion as he struggled to keep his giggles in check. "When you first told me 
to buy that 'Ice Ice' materia, I was skeptical. But this...this was beautiful! A 
masterpiece!"

	"Squeak!" replied Mr. Duck happily.

	"I'll never doubt you again, my friend. You truly are a genius."

	"Squeak."

	"What's that? Oh yes, I know Sephiroth is going to be pretty upset about 
this. But who cares?" Jack said, giggling like an insane schoolgirl. "I'm God, 
after all."

	Jack's rantings were interrupted by a knock at his door. "Come in," he 
said, slightly annoyed.

	After a moment, Team Rocket walked in. Jack scowled slightly. "This had 
better be good, people. I was deep in conversation with Mr. Duck when you 
interrupted me."

	Jessie smiled. "Oh, we're sure you're going to like this."

	Jack smiled. "What, you found those rabid ninja wombats and paratrooper 
aardvarks I've been looking for? Great!"

	All three members of Team Rocket paused to ponder that for a moment, and 
decided that it would be best to just ignore it. "Even better," said James, 
smiling. "We've found the god head!"

	Jack frowned. "This had better not be like last time, or else..." He let 
the threat hang there.

	"Nono, Jack-san," said Jessie smoothly. "We have it right here. Meowth, if 
you will..."

	Meowth dropped a sack off of his shoulder and reached into it. After 
fumbling around for a moment, he smiled and pulled out the god head.

	Or, rather, a god head.

	Jack stared for a moment. "That's... a human head," he said, somewhat 
nervously.

	"No, boss," said James, smiling widely, "it's a god head. Thor's head, to 
be exact."

	Jack blinked audibly. "How in my name did you get...no, no, I don't want 
to know," he said, waving his hands in the air. "I appreciate the effort, but I 
don't think that's what we're looking for. Thanks anyway."

	James shrugged. "No problem, boss. Sorry we didn't find it."

	"Just keep looking. I need to find that god head," Jack said as Team 
Rocket walked out the door.

	Jack looked at Mr. Duck. "How did those ninny's get Thor's head?" he 
asked, confused.

	"I wouldst rather not speak of it. 'Tis very embarrassing," said Thor's 
head, still sitting on the ground.

	Jack sweatdropped.

*********

	Lina Inverse, meanwhile, was in heaven.

	Well, we already knew that, but I mean it figuratively, not literally, 
although it's true in both senses... oh never mind.

	Lina was really, REALLY happy.

	Aside from being a sorceress supreme, Lina had always considered herself 
something of a food connoisseur. Contrary to popular belief, she wouldn't just 
shovel ANYTHING that was remotely edible down her throat. Oh, she could stomach 
most everything, but she only really went nuts when she found something she 
liked. And Lina Inverse was going nuts right now. And who could blame her?

	After all, it was kosher deli night in Heaven's cafeteria.

	"I love that stuff!" Lina yelled happily, bouncing back to the serving 
line for the sixty-seventh time. "What's it called again?"

	"Pastrami on rye, bubala. You want some more? You've gotta eat or else 
you'll waste away to skin and bones..."

	Lina smiled brightly.  "Do I want some more? Is Kasumi nice? Does Xelloss 
ever answer a question with anything other than 'sore wa...'? Am I gonna 
ventilate Orochi's ass when I get back? Are Naga's..."  

	"I get the idea, sweetie," the lunch woman interrupted. "Another three 
triple-decker specials?"

	Lina nodded happily. "Yup! But this time..." Lina paused for a moment, 
thinking. "Can I get the pastrami on white, with some mayonnaise?"

	The lunch lady's happy expression darkened like something that darkens 
really quickly. "I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that and give you three 
specials on rye with mustard. Okay?"

	Lina nodded quickly, a little nervous. "No problem... but what's wrong 
with pastrami on white with mayo?"

	"It's sacrilege, hon. It's like putting barbecue sauce on ice cream."

	Lina shuddered. Now THAT was repugnant. Thanking the lunch lady, Lina 
returned to her table and wolfed down the sandwiches in a minute and a half. 
Sighing contentedly, she leaned back in her chair and rubbed her stomach.

	"You know, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm dead, I'd really like this 
place," she said to nobody in particular. "But I gotta get back soon. I need to 
take care of Orochi and help out that Sakura girl. And I really miss Gour..."

	Lina stopped herself. That was a train of thought she really didn't want 
leaving the station. Shaking her head and stretching, she slowly got up and 
began to walk out of the cafeteria.

	Suddenly, her senses, honed from years of experience, noticed something 
just to her side. Spinning around, her eyes widened in surprise. "No way! I took 
care of you a while ago! You can't be here!"

	Her old nemesis said nothing, staring stoically back at Lina.

	Lina slowly walked around it, sizing it up and trying to reconcile what 
she saw with her memory of their last encounter. She had thought that fireball 
would have been that end of this particular...Shaking her head, Lina turned back 
towards the focus of her thoughts. "You look different. You have a few things 
you didn't have before, don't you?"

	No response.

	Lina continued one, heedless of her adversary's lack of response. "You 
have something I want. Let's put our pasts aside and be professionals about 
this." Reaching into her pouch, Lina pulled out a few coins and gave them to the 
figure from her past.

	Still no response.

	Lina calmly tried pushing a few of her opponents' buttons, hoping to get a 
response out of it. The plan worked. Ever so slowly, the thing pushed the object 
of Lina's desire closer and closer, while Lina drooled with anticipation.

	And then, without warning, it stopped.

	Lina facefaulted. Pulling herself back together, she began screaming at 
the thing. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Give it to me!"

	The object of Lina's rage said nothing, calmly staring back at her.

	Grabbing the thing, Lina began to shake it back and forth. "Come on, stop 
being a bastard and give me my damn candy bar!"

	The vending machine, unsurprisingly, remained silent.

	By now a crowd had gathered. For while there were certainly some 
interesting sights to be seen in Heaven, it's not often that you get to see Lina 
Inverse, Sorceress Extraordinaire, Bandit Killer, sometime "Enemy of all who 
Live", Master of Black Magic, and all around really powerful person being 
frustrated and stymied by a vending machine.

	And to see it for the second time? Well, that was just downright 
incredible.  

	The good Miss Inverse, needless to say, was not quite as happy with the 
situation. And she was very quickly reaching the point where she was ready to 
break out the heavy black magic.

	Luckily for the assembled throngs, the cafeteria, and particularly the 
vending machine, relief was here.

	The vending machine repair guy was here.

	"Having a problem, ma'am?" the man asked.

	Lina smiled in relief. "That damn machine won't give me my Snickers bar! 
Can you help me, kind sir?" Lina said, using the legendary "Cute Girl Puppy Dog 
Eyes" technique.

	"No problem, ma'am," he said. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a 
key and opened the door on the vending machine. Reaching in, he pulled out the 
candy bar and handed it to Lina. "I believe this is yours, Ms. Inverse."

	"Thank you!" Lina yelled happily, already devouring the candy bar.

	Meanwhile, the repair man closed the door, put a couple of quarters into 
the machine, and punched a couple of buttons. A few seconds later, a Snickers 
bar fell out. "Works like a charm," he said, smiling. 

	"How'd you get it to work?" Lina asked, curious. "It didn't work for me."

	The man smiled. "Sore wa himitsu desu," he said, wagging his finger.

	Lina's smile faded right quick. "Xelloss," she said flatly.

	"In the flesh!" said the priest happily as he lowered his illusion, 
revealing his true form. "It's been so long since we've had a chance to talk. 
How've you been?"

	"I'm dead."

	"Well, don't let that get you down," Xelloss said, still smiling. "Your 
friends are working right as we speak to gather the artifact they need to bring 
you back to life...Do you want to see how they're doing?"

	Lina looked at Xelloss skeptically. "What's the catch, Xelloss?"

	"What, can't a guy do something nice for a friend every once in a while?" 
said Xelloss in mock-shock.

	"Cut the bullshit, Xelloss. What's the trick?"

	Xelloss smiled. "Smart girl. You're learning," he said, chuckling lightly. 
"Very well. The catch is that after I do this, I want to talk to you for a 
little while. There are some things I want to discuss with you."

	"You just want to talk? You're not gonna lead me into a trap or leave me 
in a room with an angry demon lord or something?" Lina asked, still not quite 
buying it.

	"No, nothing like that. I just want to talk."

	Lina thought about it for a moment. "Okay, but no tricks, okay?"

	"Tricks? Moi?"

	Lina scowled. "Funny. Real funny. Now, you told me you could let me see my 
friends?"

	Xelloss reached into his robe and pulled out a medium sized crystal ball 
(again, no pun intended). "Just put your hand on it and think about your 
friends. It's as simple as that."

	Lina sat down with the crystal ball. Glancing one last time at Xelloss, 
she put her hand on the crystal ball and focused her thoughts on Naga and 
Darshu...

	And she was looking down at Naga and Darshu, who were standing in a field.

	"Coolness," thought Lina.

*******

	"So this is where the fourth Dragonball is?"

	"That's what the machine says, Naga," said Dark Schneider, rubbing his 
temples.

	The two sorcerers, continuing their hunt for the Dragonballs, now stood 
within view of a small wooden shack. It wasn't even a particularly impressive 
shack. In fact, even as shacks went, it was downright pathetic. And yet the 
small machine that Dark Schneider held was showing that a Dragonball, one of a 
set of seven that, when combined, could summon the Eternal Dragon, was in there.

	"But, it's just a little hut! A little tiny hut in the middle of nowhere. 
Why would one of the Dragonballs be in there?" said Naga, looking over Darshu's 
shoulder at the Dragon Radar.

	The ridiculously muscled sorcerer threw his arms into the air. "I don't 
know! This stupid thing says it's in there, so it must be in there! So stop 
whining and come on!"

	Naga bit back a sarcastic response as Darshu started to walk towards the 
hut. Despite her legendary patience, Darshu's' arrogance was beginning to get on 
her nerves. Shaking her head, she started to jog to catch up with Darshu 
(*insert bouncing joke here*).

	By the time Naga had caught up, Darshu had already opened the door. Naga's 
jaw dropped. The four-star Dragonball was just sitting there, on an ornately 
carved wooden pedestal in the middle of the room. "No way..."

	"What?" muttered Darshu, looking around the hut. "What so amazing? It's 
just a stupid little house with a Dragonball in it."

	"It's too easy."

	Darshu snickered. "What do you mean, too easy? There's no such thing as 
too easy. Would you rather it be in the beyond the River of Flesh Melting, in 
the Caves of Slow Dismemberment, and guarded by a giant three-headed yak that 
kills it's victims by sawing out their organs with a blunt spoon?"

	Naga tried to picture that, but failed miserably. "It's not that...we're 
sorcerers. Famous mages. Powerful beyond belief. Things are never this easy. 
When's the last time you found a powerful magic artifact just sitting in a shack 
in the middle of nowhere, completely unprotected? No traps, no mystic guardians, 
no rival group seeking the same artifact?"

	Darshu digested that for a second. "Well, there was that Jockstrap of 
Ultimate Annihilation I found a few years back..."

	*WHAP*

	"Will you be serious for a minute! I've got this odd feeling we're walking 
right into a trap..."

	"You most certainly are, my dear."

	Naga's head snapped around as she saw two men in the distance through the 
door of the hut. "What the-"

	"Now, now," the man chuckled, "do come outside. It's just silly for us to 
hold a conversation with you still inside."

	Cautiously, Naga and Darshu walked out of the hut, sizing up the two men. 
Both were clothed in some sort of what looked like battle armor.  The man who 
was speaking was barely four feet tall, with spiky green hair and gold bracers 
over his forearms. The other man, who was rocking on his heels, was well over 
eight feet tall and obscenely muscled, making Darshu look like your average 
research scientist in comparison. Running his hands through his purple mohawk, 
he grinned at Naga lecherously and cracked his knuckles, chuckling evilly. Yes, 
all at the same time.

	"Tell that brute of yours to stop staring at me," Naga said imperiously, 
shooting a withering glare at the huge man, "and let's get on with it. What do 
you want?"

	The small man chuckled. "Simple. I'm trying to collect the Dragonballs 
myself, you see, and I heard that you two were trying to do the same. Since you 
two are wizards, and fairly well known wizards at that, I figured that you'd 
probably have a way to track down the Dragonballs. I wanted it, so I lured you 
here." A small smile formed on the small mans' face. "Besides, I obviously can't 
have other people running around collecting MY Dragonballs...not that I couldn't 
just take them from you, of course, but it's the principle of the thin-"

	"Oh, will you just shut up and get on with it!" yelled Darshu, losing his 
cool. "We're trying to help out a friend, and I have neither the time nor the 
patience to deal with some wannabe master villain with delusions that he's an 
interesting speaker. So are you gonna attack us or not?"

	The small man shrugged. "If you insist." He turned to the large man 
standing next to him. "Take care of them, and do be quick about it. I have 
Dragonballs to collect."

	The large man stepped forward and smiled viciously, glaring at the two 
wizards. "I'm gonna beat the crap out of you two wimps. And then I'm gonna take 
your mangled, beaten bodies home with me, take out your spleens with a soup 
ladle, and slap you around with them. When I'm done with that, I'll rip out 
your-"

	As the hulking man ranted on, Darshu looked over towards Naga. "Now?"

	Naga nodded. "Yes, I think he's wasted enough oxygen."

	"Dynast Breath!" "Halloween!"

	As the two huge beams of energy screamed towards the large man, the sudden 
flash of light snapped the man out of his maniacal rant. Seeing that he was 
pinned in by the two spells, he crossed his arms over his chest, flexing his chi 
outwards to block the incoming attacks.

	The two beams of magic crashed into the big mans' crossed arms, producing 
a deafening roar and kicking up enough dirt to obscure the area around the 
behemoth.

	The small man just snickered. "You fools! Did you actually think that you 
puny powers were a match for either of us? You didn't even scratch my 
companion!"

	"Umm, I hate to break it to you," said Darshu, pointing towards the cloud 
of smoke kicked up by the spells, "but your friend is dead."

	"Nonsense!" the man shouted, pointing towards the dust cloud, "He's right 
in there!"

	A strong breeze (Thank you, Convenient Plot Devices-R-Us!) blew away the 
dust, revealing a pile of ashes on the ground, which had somehow managed not to 
be blown away by the breeze. The small man's jaw dropped, and he turned towards 
the two mages, furious.

	"What in the hell are you people doing?!?"

	Naga raised an eyebrow. "We're having a fight. He looked at me funny, so 
we fried him. What's the big deal?"

	The small man was now in the process of blowing a gasket. "What's the big 
deal?!? Don't you morons know THE RULES (TM)?"

	Both Darshu and Naga blinked audibly. "Rules?" Naga asked, confused.

	The green haired warrior was now having a conniption fit. "You're hunting 
for the Dragonballs and you don't know THE RULES (TM)? What kind of idiots are 
you people?" he yelled, gesticulating wildly.

	"What the hell are you talking about?" shouted Darshu, becoming rather 
agitated himself.

	The green haired man sighed. "Mages nowadays... think they own the 
world..." he muttered. Turning back towards Darshu and Naga, he pulled a 
blackboard and some chalk out of somewhere and began writing on the board. 

	"There is a certain way a fight to control the Dragonballs is supposed to 
proceed. First of all, you are NOT supposed to destroy the big guy with the 
weird hairdo with one shot."

	Darshu looked confused. 'Why the hell not?"

	"Because that's not how it's supposed to go! Hello! Anybody listening!" 
The small man sighed in disgust. "You're supposed to be intimidated by my large 
crony, but somehow find the courage to challenge him. However, you quickly find 
you're no match for him. Nonetheless, you continue to fight, hoping against hope 
that something in your arsenal will slow him down." The warrior quickly began to 
get more and more wrapped up in his speech. "Several times, you will pull 
amazing tricks out of nowhere, only to see them not effect him. Bloodied and 
beaten, you will fight onwards, trying to buy time until you're more powerful 
friend, who's either dead, recuperating, or far away, can make it here and save 
you're sorry butts."

	"Why would we do that when we could just obliterate him like we just did?" 
said Naga, still not understanding.

	The man gave Naga a flat stare. "That's the way things go around the 
Dragonballs. Now, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," he 
muttered, glaring at Naga (who rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her 
chest, much to the displeasure of drooling fanboys everywhere...), "just as it 
seems that my associate is about to do you in, you're friends will show up, 
sporting new tricks and a huge-ass power increase. He will then proceed to wipe 
the floor with my big friend without breaking a sweat, and then will challenge 
me. We will then engage in a titanic struggle for supremacy, where both of us 
will cause massive property damage while shouting silly sounding phrases that 
translate poorly and throwing weak insults at each other..."

	"Oh, screw this," said Darshu, who held one hand out and shot a huge beam 
of blue light at the diminutive warrior, who was too busy ranting to notice. 
Moments later, the beam crashed into his back with a blinding explosion.

	Naga, unprepared for this, barely had time to shield her eyes. When the 
light had faded, the man was gone. "What spell was that?" she asked, turning 
towards Darshu.

	The sorcerer shrugged. "I sent him to another dimension."

	"Oh, okay. Let's get that Dragonball and get going. I need something to 
eat. After all, I, Naga the White Serpent, must keep my prodigious strength up, 
in case we actually get into a real fight sometime during this quest! 
OHOHOHOHOHOH!!!"

	Darshu rubbed his temples as they walked back towards the hut. He REALLY 
hated that laugh...

*********

	Lina's head snapped up as her consciousness returned to the real world. 
"That was REALLY weird..."

	"What was really weird?"

	Lina nearly jumped out of her skin in surprise. Turning around, she saw 
Xelloss standing there, an innocent look on his face. "Don't do that!" she 
yelled, shaking her fist.

	"I apologize profusely," said Xelloss, smiling. "Now, about that little 
talk we were going to have..."

*********

	"And we're back," said Daisuke. "Next up is another Gamma match. Hiroshi, 
you want to do the setup?"

	"You bet I do!" said Hiroshi, taking a deep breath. "Iori Yagami is out of 
his coma, and he's pissed off! He went to Jack demanding a title shot, but Jack 
ruled that Iori would have to win a match before he could get a match for the 
belt! So the Biggest Bad@$$ in standing out here, and has issued an open 
challenge to whomever wants to fight!"

	"Although only an idiot would actually WANT to fight Iori..." mumbled 
Daisuke.

	Just as Daisuke ended his sentence, the speakers in the Ultradome 
crackled, and "Stone Cold" Dan Hibiki strolled out of the locker room, to the 
tune of "Kung-Fu Fighting".

	Daisuke sighed. "Like I said, only an idiot... actually, I'm surprised Dan 
didn't choose this as his theme song a long time ago."

	"Forget that, man! This is gonna be great!" yelled Hiroshi, starting to 
really get revved up. "In case any of you fans have forgotten, these two 
fighters have met twice before. The first time, Iori demolished Dan and took the 
Gamma belt away from him. The second time, at UltraRage Beta, Dan was actually 
going toe to toe with Yagami before Ranma interjected with a chair to Dan's 
face! This is gonna be a war!"

	Dan had already climbed into the ring, and was attempting to stare Iori 
down. Reaching over the top rope, he grabbed a microphone from someone. "Yagami! 
Twice you have defeated me! The first time, you took away the Gamma championship 
from me. Last time, you kept the belt only because of outside interference. This 
time, the mighty fists and feet of Dan shall pound you into itty bitty bite 
sized morsels! OYAJI!!!!" yelled Dan, crying manly tears of joy.

	Iori just stood in the middle of the ring, his arms crossed over his 
chest. "Are you done babbling?"

	"Yup," said Dan, cracking his knuckles, a determined look on his face. 
"You shall fall before my might!"

] [ GAMMA MATCH
] [ IORI YAGAMI vs. DAN HIBIKI...FIGHT!!!

	Iori, intending to end this match quickly, lashed out with a vicious flame 
covered uppercut.

	He didn't expect Dan to dodge it, and he certainly didn't expect Dan to 
follow up with a jab to the gut and a Gadoken to the face, which sent Iori 
sprawling back.

	"A nice counter by Dan! He looks to be in rare form early on, folks!" said 
Hiroshi.

	"Well, he has been training with Ryu for over a month," said Daisuke, 
watching Iori get back to his feet. "You'd figure he's picked up a few things."

	Iori was pissed. Pissed at Dan. Pissed at Jack. And pissed at himself for 
letting himself get hit with that stupid puffball. With a growl, he charged at 
Dan throwing a flurry of punches. Dan blocked and dodged some of them, but 
several broke through, sending Dan reeling back.

	Daisuke looked on intently. "It's obvious, though, that even with Dan's 
training, Iori is still the better fighter, skill-wise."

	"Yes, but Dan has the heart of a fighter!" remarked Hiroshi.

	"And Iori is trying to tear it out," noted Daisuke.

	Hiroshi blinked. "Was that a joke, man?"

	"Concentrate on the action."

	Back in the ring, Dan was back on his feet, and doing what he did best- 
taunting.

	"Your puny punches do not even faze the mighty chin of Dan! Now feel what 
a real warrior's blows feel like! DAN DAN BOOT TO THE HEAD!!!!"

	Dan flew across the ring and slammed his foot into Iori's head, sending 
the Orochi-powered fighter back towards the ropes. Running up to the stunned 
Iori, Dan slammed a fist into his jaw, which he followed up with a Koryuken, 
which landed right on Iori's chin, knocking him flat on his back.

	"An amazing flurry by Dan!" said Hiroshi, grinning like a madman. "I don't 
think we've seen Dan fight like this since...I don't know when! Could it be that 
Dan Hibiki has finally become a respectable fighter?"

	As Hiroshi said that, Dan started to run at Iori intent on catching the 
insane warrior as he got to his feet. Iori saw him coming, and sent a wall of 
purple flame at the advancing Dan, who, in attempt to dodge, tripped over his 
own feet and tumbled head first into the blast.

	"I guess that answers my question," said Hiroshi. "Some things never 
change."

	Iori was quick to press the advantage, and laced into Dan with a vicious 
series of punches, kicks, and claw swipes, finally ending with a flaming 
uppercut which sent Dan tumbling into a corner.

	"And it looks like the skill differential in this match has finally caught 
up with Dan, who looks to be in really bad shape here," said Daisuke. Looking 
over to Iori, he started a bit. "Iori looks really winded here, folks."

	"Could it be that Iori is still not 100% after that beating he got from 
Ranma?" asked Hiroshi excitedly. "If so, that could be affecting his endurance, 
which might give Dan a chance to get back into this match!!!"

	As Iori tied to catch his breath, Dan slowly pulled himself up to an 
upright position. He was a mess; his gi was torn up, blood was oozing from the 
gashes that Iori had made on his chest, and a nasty bruise was forming on his 
chin. As he got upright, though, he noticed that Iori was severely winded.

	"So, my mighty blows have taken their toll on you," the pony-tailed 
fighter said through clenched teeth. "Now you will face one of the ultimate 
techniques of the Saikyo-Ryuu!"

	Iori leaned back in a defensive stance, ready for anything.

	"CHOHATSU SHINWA!!!"

	Except that.

	"I don't believe it! Dan, who is still in this match, is throwing it away 
by going for the 'Mythical Taunt'! What is he thinking?!?" yelled Hiroshi.

	"He just can't help himself," observed Daisuke. "He's Dan."

	Iori was even more angry than before. This...no, he wasn't a fighter. This 
THING was making a mockery of the martial arts, and of Iori in the process.

	"DIE," screamed Iori as he ran at Dan, intent on shredding him.

	At the last second, Dan rolled away. "Rakushou!" he taunted, his arm 
shaking.

	Iori turned around and charged again. Again, Dan rolled away at the last 
second. And taunted.

	This went on for a couple of minutes. Iori would charge, and Dan would 
either jump or roll out of the way, taunting all the time. Iori had long since 
lost it, and was screaming in fury with each near miss, having been taken over 
by the Riot of the Blood.

	"What is Dan doing? All he's doing is making Iori angry!" said Hiroshi, 
confused.

	"Angry...and tired," said Daisuke, realization hitting him. "That's it! 
Dan's trying to tire Iori out! He's gotten Iori so angry that he isn't thinking 
straight, and now he's making the already winded Yagami run around like a 
chicken with its head off!" Daisuke chuckled slightly. "I never thought I'd say 
this folks, but this is a brilliant bit of strategy by Dan."

	Back in the ring, Dan was still dodging around Iori, who was still trying 
to catch Dan and mutilate him. Iori was now moving a lot slower than before, 
though. It seemed as if Dan's strategy was going to work. 

	Alas, 'twas not to be. As Daisuke said before, he's Dan.

	Rolling out of the way of another Iori charge, Dan rolled to close to the 
ropes and got his foot tangled. Before he could free himself, Iori was on him 
with a hand around his throat. Iori lifted Dan up and screamed as a huge column 
of purple shot up around the two fighters. When the smoke cleared, Iori was 
leaning against the turnbuckle, barely keeping himself upright. 

	Dan, meanwhile, was crumpled on the ground, still smoldering from the 
blast he had just suffered. It looked to all within the Ultradome that he was 
out for the night.

	And then he moved. 

	Ever so slowly, Dan inched his way to the ropes. As he pulled himself up, 
you could almost hear the muscles pop and joints creak in protest. After a few 
moments, though, Dan was back on his feet. Barely.

	"How is Dan still standing?" said Daisuke, dumbfounded. "He's taken an 
absolutely ridiculous beating, and he's back on his feet?!? How?"

	Hiroshi just smiled. "Like I said, man, he has the heart of a warrior."

	Dan, meanwhile, was glaring at Iori intently. "Now that...you're weakened, 
I can use... my ultimate technique on you," Dan said weakly, coughing up blood 
as he spoke.

	"Oh no, not the Spicy Saikyo again!" yelled Hiroshi, holding his nose.

	"No, not the Spicy Saikyo!" Dan yelled, glaring at the announcers table. 
Turning back to Iori (who was still slumped in the corner), he smiled thinly. 
"You shall fall before the power of my ultimate technique!"

	And Dan took a few steps forward, set his feet at shoulder width, took a 
deep breath, and began to flail his arms and legs like a hyperactive lemur on 
speed.

	Iori, his rage rising again, began to walk towards Dan, intent on finally 
ending this mockery once and for all. 

	After a few steps, Dan began to wave his right hand up and down and left 
and right while slowly walking towards Iori. And Iori found he couldn't move. 
"What the hell..."

	Purple fire surrounded Iori as he rallied what strength he had left, 
trying to break free of whatever was holding him. Try as he might, though, he 
was frozen solid as Dan advanced on him, right hand still waving all around. 
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity to Iori, Dan stood in front of him, 
hand now waving in front of Iori's face.

	And then Dan poked Iori in the eyes with a two fingered poke. And then 
stepped on his foot. And then socked him in the gut.

	After the punch to the gut, Dan's right arm remained extended. For a 
moment, Dan just stood there, not moving. Suddenly, a bright blue aura flared 
over Dan, concentrating on his outstretched fist. Screaming incoherently, he 
brought his other fist down on the outstretched fist, spinning it behind his 
back and bringing it down on top of Iori's head with a deafening boom and a 
blinding flash of blue light.

	When the light cleared, Dan stood over the crumpled form of Iori Yagami, 
the kanji for "Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk" glowing on his back.

	The crowd roared with approval.

	"AND DAN HIBIKI WINS A STUNNING UPSET OVER IORI YAGAMI!!!" shouted 
Hiroshi, on his feet and gesticulating wildly. "What a match! But what was that 
move Dan used to finish Iori off?"

	Daisuke had a huge grin plastered on his face, and was struggling to 
suppress giggles. "You okay, man?" said Hiroshi, genuinely concerned by his 
partner's unusual display of emotion.

	Finally, Daisuke let it all out, bursting into riotous laughter. After a 
few moments, he managed to pull himself together. "Dan Hibiki, master of the 
one-shot oddball move, has just defeated Iori Yagami in a way that can only be 
described as Dan-esque," he said, calm as ever.

	"What do you mean, Daisuke?" said Hiroshi, confused. "What was that move?"

	Daisuke grinned. "Dan Hibiki has triumphed here on Ultra using the 
legendary Cur-Lee maneuver."

	Hiroshi blinked. "Cur-Lee? As in Three Stooges Curly?"

	"Yup. Some martial arts master made up a technique based on the Three 
Stooges. I can't think of anything more appropriate for Dan." 
 
	Hiroshi double-blinked. "Ooo-kay," he said slowly, "but who taught it to 
him?"

	"Thank you, Master Splinter!" yelled Dan, his fist shaking in the air.

	"Well, that answers that question," said Daisuke. "We'll be right back 
with more Ultra."

**********

	At that moment, under the streets of New York, Master Splinter, rodent 
master of the ninja arts, was smiling.
	
	His students were not.

	"I can't believe you taught him that!" yelled Raphael. "Why him and not 
us?"

	"Yes, Master Splinter," said Leonardo, more calmly, "you've repeatedly 
refused to teach us that technique. Why teach it to him?"

	"Simple, my students," Splinter said evenly. "To execute the Cur-Lee 
maneuver, you must either be a true master of the martial arts-"

	"Like I said, why'd you teach it to him?" said Raphael, outraged.

	"...or you must be a what one would call 'a goofball'," Splinter finished. 
"Hibiki qualifies in the second category."

	Donatello looked thoughtful. "So...could Mikey learn it?"

	"Hmm..." said Splinter, pondering. "I hadn't thought of that..."

**********

	Shingo was dead tired.

	It was a happy dead tired, or at least as happy as a dead tired could get. 
But he was still beat, both figuratively and literally. 

	Nonetheless, it felt good to win. Heck, it felt good just to fight.

	Shingo's musings were interrupted with a knock on his locker room door. 
"Come in," he said wearily.

	Ranma walked in, grinning ear to ear. "Congratulations! That was 
incredible!" he said, extending his hand for a handshake.

	Shingo smiled. "I'd shake your hand, but I don't think I can lift my arm."

	"Now you're sounding like a real martial artist!" said Ranma, laughing.  
"I'd stay and talk for a while, but I got a match to get ready for."

	"Oh? Who're you fighting?"

	Ranma scowled. "Kunou and Hoahmaru."

	"Both of them?!?" said Shingo, shocked. "Why're you doing that?"

	"I didn't choose to. Jack apparently said that I'd have to do something 
special to have any chance of getting a title shot anytime soon. So this is what 
Nabiki came up with," he said, obviously not happy about the arrangement.

	"Well, don't worry about it," Shingo said hopefully, "If I can stand up to 
Sakura, you can take those two."

	"Thanks. I'll talk to ya later," he said, walking out of the room. 

	Shingo was reaching for a bottle of maximum strength aspirin when he heard 
another knock on the door. "Come in."

	A few moments passed, and then Karin Kanzuki walked in. "H-hey, Karin-san. 
What's up?" Shingo stammered nervously.

	"I saw your fight today. Not bad."

	"Thanks, Karin-san," Shingo said, relaxing a bit. "So what can I do for 
you?"

	Karin smiled slightly. "You've already done what I wanted you to do."
	
	"Huh?"

	"Oh, you hadn't figured it out already?" asked Karin, a somewhat superior 
tone in her voice. "My whole goal in recruiting you was to use you to get back 
at Sakura. However, I was distracted by some family business for a while, and by 
the time I returned my attention to Sakura, she had already been kidnapped. I 
had just about given up on the whole thing when you came along, seemingly out of 
the blue, and did exactly what I wanted you to do."

	"Does this mean my debt to you is paid up?" Shingo asked, silently hoping 
for a "yes".

	"I don't see why not. You've fulfilled the terms of our contract." Karin 
grinned slightly. "You've earned that money. You did a great job out there."

	"Thank you, Karin-san!" Shingo said happily. 

	As Karin walked out the door, she turned around and smiled. "No, Shingo. 
Thank you."

	And then she was gone.

**********

	Back in Nibbelhelm, Cloud was getting ready to break Bean in two.

	"What the hell do you man, 'we gotta have words'! I don't even know you!" 
he shouted, dropping into a defensive stance.

	"Yeah, but you know Tifa, and that's why I'm here," said Bean, his voice 
even.

	Cloud blinked. "Tifa? Is something wrong with her? Is she having some kind 
of problem?" 

	Bean scowled. "Yeah, man, she has a problem," he said, letting a bit of 
anger creep into his voice. "You."

	"Me?" said Cloud, confused. "What did I do?"

	"What did you do?" Bean asked, incredulous. "What didn't you do? You're 
making Tifa's life hell just because you're too stupid to realize what you have 
in front of you!"

	"What are you talking about? How am I making her life hell?" Cloud was 
really confused now.

	Finally, Bean lost it. "She's going through hell because every time you 
two are together, you mention that girl Aerith! Do you have any idea how much it 
hurts to hear the guy she loves pine for some dead girl? It's tearing her up 
inside! Sure, she hides it, but she's hurting bad inside, and it's al-"

	"Hold on a second," interrupted Cloud, a sudden chill passing over him. 
"What'd you just say?"

	"I said it's tearing her up in-"

	"No, no before that." His breathing was becoming shallower and more rapid. 

	"Before that?" bean said, thinking. "I said she loves you."

	And then it all hit Cloud like a meteor to the forehead.

	All the not-so-subtle hints. Tifa's constant fawning over him. Her 
insistence on staying with him. The glances he constantly saw her giving him 
when she thought he wasn't looking.

	Tifa was in love with him.

	"Oh god," he said, his voice hollow as his head slumped into his hands. 
"Oh no."

	Now it was Bean's turn to be confused. "What? What's wrong?"

	Cloud didn't even look up. "She's in love with me?" he asked, his voice 
shaking.

	"Yeah, man. Why do you even need to ask..." Bean paused, and a look of 
realization passed over his face, almost immediately replaced by a look of utter 
shock. "You didn't know she was in love with you?" he asked, utter disbelief 
evident in his voice.

	Cloud looked up at Bean, his face white as a sheet. "No...I never 
realized...I don't know how..."

	"You...you fucking idiot! She did everything but rip off her clothes and 
throw herself at you!" Bean was standing now, towering over Cloud, who was still 
slumped in his chair. "How in the hell could you not have noticed!"

	"I...I don't know," Cloud stammered, sounding more pathetic than anyone 
Bean had ever heard before. "I just didn't see it... oh god, all the times I 
mentioned Aerith while we were together...she hates me, doesn't she?"

	"Haven't you been listening to a word I said? SHE LOVES YOU!!! She would 
do anything for you! She'd be in heaven if you responded to her in the 
slightest!"

	Cloud looked up at Bean. "Heaven...Aerith..."

	"There you go again!" yelled Bean, grabbing Cloud by the collar and 
lifting the smaller man off his feet. "All you do is talk about that girl 
Aerith! She's nice, sure, but she's dead! You gotta let go, man!"

	"It's not that easy," said Cloud, his voice a little stronger. "I fell for 
her. Bad. It's hard to just let go."

	Bean sighed, and lowered Cloud back into the chair. Sitting down, he 
rubbed the bridge of his nose with one hand. "I understand that, but you have to 
move on, if only for Tifa's sake. Even Aerith said you should move on."

	Cloud's head shot up at that. "You talked to her? She said that?"

	"Yup," said Bean tiredly, feeling drained from the last few minutes, 
"she's the medical director for Ultra. She helped me get here. And yes, she did 
say to tell you that she thinks you should move on. She cared for you a lot, but 
there's no point in you pining for her while someone like Tifa is out there 
waiting for you. Her words, not mine."

	Cloud sat silent for a moment, allowing all the information he had heard 
to digest. "This is all too much for me. I'm gonna need some time to sort this 
all out," he said wearily.

	Bean sighed. "I kinda thought you would. But don't take too long, or I 
might have to come back here. And next time, I won't be anywhere near as 
friendly," he said, getting up from his chair.

	Cloud smiled wanly. "I'll keep that in mind."  
	
	Bean started to walk out the door, but stopped and turned back towards 
Cloud. "Tifa's something special, man. Whatever you do, don't let her go, 
because I guarantee you that you'll regret it for as long as you live."

	Bean spared Cloud one last glance and then left silently, closing the door 
behind him. Taking a deep breath, he reached into his pocket and pulled the 
phone Aerith had given him, pushing a few buttons to alert her that he was ready 
to come back.

	"Are you ready, Bean-san?" Aerith asked.

	"Beam me up, Scotty."

***********

	"And we're back!" said Hiroshi excitedly. "We've had some great matches 
for you tonight, and here comes another doozy! Marlo and Satan for the Gamma 
belt! What more could happen tonight?"

	Daisuke glared at Hiroshi. "Damn, man, never say that. You're just asking 
for trouble," he said softly.

	Before Hiroshi could respond, a mass of firecrackers shot off from the 
sides of the ramp, filling the air with bursts of color. When it all died down, 
Marlo was in already the ring, microphone in hand. "Hello, boys and girls, and 
welcome to what is going to be the single greatest night of your life! I, Marlo 
Semaj, your hero, am going to allow you the privilege of seeing the start of a 
dynasty!"

	"Here he goes," said Daisuke.

	"Tonight, you will witness history as I take my rightful place as the 
greatest champion this federation has ever had, by defeating that good-for-
nothing fraud Mr. Satan!" Marlo said, smiling. "This will be a night you will be 
telling you grandchildren about! You are witnessing the beginning of..."

	Marlo's speech was cut off by a smooth R&B beat as Mr. Satan walked out 
onto the ramp. And he didn't look happy. "Are you gonna talk all night, or are 
we actually gonna have a match here?" he said, approaching the ring.

	Marlo was unfazed. "Ladies and gentleman, introducing the soon to be 
former champion, the biggest liar this world has ever seen, who has 
distinguished himself by deceiving millions of people into thinking he had any 
kind of skills... the one, the only, MR. SATAN!!!"

	Mr. Satan scowled. Now this was getting personal. Cracking his knuckles, 
he glared over at the younger fighter from across the ring. "You're gonna pay 
for that, punk."

	Marlo snickered. "You take travelers checks?"

] [ GAMMA TITLE MATCH
] [ MARLO SEMAJ vs. MR. SATAN...FIGHT!!!

	As soon as the bell rung, Satan rushed at Marlo with a clothesline. The 
smaller boy ducked it, however, and responded with a floor lamp to the small of 
the back, which sent Satan careening into the ropes.

	Stretching his back out, Satan advanced on Marlo more carefully this time, 
circling him and trying to find a hole in his guard. Marlo, meanwhile, was 
jabbing out with the floor lamp, trying to keep Satan at a distance.

	"Good strategy early on by Marlo," noted Daisuke. "He's using his range 
advantage to keep the larger Satan at a distance, slowly wearing him down."

	Marlo was indeed doing just that, jabbing the chair past Satan's defenses 
and hitting him right in the chest. Satan just shook it off, though, and charged 
inside Marlo's guard, leveling him with a right hook.

	"All right, no more mister nice Marlo," he said, pulling a filing cabinet 
out of Furniturespace. "Let's tango."

	Marlo advanced on Satan, swinging the heavy filing cabinet like a giant 
club. Satan did his best to dodge the huge piece of office equipment, but speed 
and agility were not his specialties. He got tagged hard on the shoulder, 
stunning him and leaving him open for another shot that hit him upside the head, 
knocking him silly.

	And so it continued for another few minutes. Satan would get in a shot 
every so often, but Marlo was using his reach advantage to keep the wrestler at 
bay, landing heavy shot's that were taxing the bigger man's endurance.

	"Marlo is just dominating Satan here!" said Hiroshi as Marlo threw a 
footrest at Satan, catching him right on the knee. "Marlo seems to be backing up 
his words from before the fight. Could we be witnessing the start of an era?"

	Satan was hurt. Bad. Marlo had basically negated his strength advantage, 
and he just didn't have enough speed to keep dodging the deluge of furniture 
Marlo was throwing at him. Desperately, he threw himself out of the way of a 
chair shot, only to be hit in mid-air by a queen sized bed, which sent him 
flying into the ropes again.

	"This is too easy!" yelled Marlo as he strolled over too Satan's prone 
form, twirling a coat rack idly. Putting one foot on Satan's chest, he raised 
the coat rack high in the air. "I am the Furnityre Savior! Worship me-aagh!!!"

	Marlo was cut off as Satan grabbed his ankle and pulled, sending Marlo 
crashing to the canvas. As he got up, Satan grabbed Marlo by the neck and lifted 
him up, grinning from ear to ear. "My turn now, punk."

	Satan proceeded to graciously allow Marlo to sample 101 distinct flavors 
of whupass as he unloaded virtually every wrestling move known to man upon the 
smaller fighter. Marlo was body slammed, suplexed, piledriven, and generally 
thrown around like a rag doll from here to next Thursday. 

	"Wow, Satan seems to have caught his second wind, and he's opening it up 
on Marlo!" yelled Hiroshi, amazed. "I've never seen anyone manhandled like this 
in my life!"

	"Satan's size advantage is finally coming into play here," observed 
Daisuke, watching the beating taking place in the ring. "Now we see why Marlo 
was trying so hard to stay away from Satan. In close, Marlo can't use his 
weapons, and he can't stand up to Satan hand-to-hand."

	Marlo realized this too. As Satan was bending over to pick up Marlo off 
the ground, Marlo drove a stapler directly into Satan's throat, knocking the 
wrestler back as he clutched at his neck, gasping for air. Marlo used this time 
to roll out of the ring, where he collapsed on the floor.

	"Bastard...got...lucky..." he groaned, slowly pulling himself up by the 
ring apron. Leaning against the side of the ring, he reached into his pants 
pocket.

	"What could Marlo be looking for...Marlo's got another Senzu bean!" yelled 
Hiroshi, jumping out of his chair. "This could be bad news for Mr. Satan."

	Marlo smiled grimly as he turned to face the ring, and shot a glare at Mr. 
Satan, who was still on the ground clutching his throat. "Damn right it's bad 
news for him," he chuckled. He was about to pop the bean into his mouth when he 
felt a tap on his shoulder.

	"Wha?" he said, turning around...

	To see Ranma standing there, a vicious grin on his face. "I don't think 
so."

	*POW*

	Ranma's kick sent Marlo tumbling back into the ring. The ref, of course, 
saw none of this, as he was concentrating on the fallen Satan. 

	After a few moments, Marlo pulled himself up using the ropes, and turned 
to face the retreating form of Ranma. "You're going to pay for this!" 

	Marlo felt another tap on his shoulder, and turned around slowly to see 
the hulking form of Mr. Satan looming over him. And he didn't look happy.

	"Hoo boy."

	Five seconds and one power bomb off the top rope later, Marlo was out for 
the count.

	"And Mr. Satan successfully defends his title for the first time with an 
impressive win over the self-proclaimed master of the Variable Furniture Martial 
Arts!" said Hiroshi, smiling. "This has been a great night, but it's not over 
yet! We still have a handicap match left to come, with Ranma Saotome squaring 
off against Kunou and Hoahmaru. It should be an incredible match! I can hardly 
wait!"

	Hiroshi paused for a moment, and then turned towards Daisuke. "One thing I 
don't get, though. Why did Ranma help Satan out?"

	Daisuke shrugged. "I don't think he was out to help Satan. I think he was 
here to hurt Marlo. Remember, Ranma was pretty pissed off after last weeks 
match." 

"Makes sense to me," Hiroshi said, smiling. "We'll be right back." 

***********

Kunou, sitting in the entertainment room of his mansion, looked over at 
Hoahmaru, confused. "Are we supposed to be fighting today, master?" 

	Hoahmaru laughed. "OF COURSE NOT, MY STUDENT," Hoahmaru said, his voice 
having long since returned. "THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY CONFUSED. PERHAPS THEIR MINDS, 
HAVING NOT SEEN MY LEGENDARY FIGHTING SKILLS ON DISPLAY IN SO LONG, ARE DELUDING 
THEM INTO THINKING WE ARE FIGHTING."

	Kunou pondered that for a moment. "I suppose that makes sense," he said as 
he leaned back in his chair, eager to see the last who was actually fighting in 
the last match of the night.

**********

	Back in the Ultradome, Ranma was sitting in his locker room, doing some 
breathing exercises to relax him for the upcoming fight.

	"Worried, Saotome?"

	Ranma opened his eyes to see Nabiki standing over him, a smug grin on her 
face. Annoyed at being interrupted, he stood up. "I'm not worried. I'll win. I 
just don't like going up against multiple opponents at once. Too many things can 
go wrong."

	Nabiki raised an eyebrow. "The great Ranma Saotome, admitting that he's 
not completely comfortable about a fight? Will wonders never cease."

	Ranma scowled. "Quit it, Nabiki. I only agreed to let you manage me 
because you said you could help me get a shot at the belt. You do your job. Let 
me worry about the fighting," he said, turning to walk out to the entrance ramp.

	"You know," said Nabiki, a serious look on her face, "you wouldn't be in 
this situation if you didn't wuss out last week."

	Ranma stopped in mid-stride and slowly turned back towards Nabiki, a 
dangerous glint in his eye. "I did NOT wuss out last week!" he said, his voice 
tight. "I made a mistake. It won't happen again. Now drop it." And with that, he 
walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

*********

	"And we're back with our final match of the night!" said Hiroshi, shouting 
over the raucous Ultradome crowd. "It's been a night to remember, ladies and 
gentleman. But it's not over yet. We still have more Ultraviolence in store for 
you...HERE, ON ULTRA!!!!"

	The crowd roared. The roaring only got more intense as Ranma Saotome 
appeared from backstage, walking towards the ring to the tune of "Born to Be 
Wild". Walking quickly, he jumped high into the air, flipping several times and 
landing on the far turnbuckle with one foot.

	"Ranma looks really pissed," said Daisuke, leaning over the announcers 
table to get a better look at the pig-tailed fighter. "I don't think I've ever 
seen him like this. That doesn't bode well for Kunou and Hoahmaru."

	"Speaking of which," interjected Hiroshi, "where are Kunou and Hoahmaru? 
I'm getting word from backstage that nobody has seen them."

	The crowd started to murmur as the seconds ticked by, with no sign of the 
two swordsmen. The crowd was steadily becoming impatient, as was Ranma, who 
reached over the top rope and grabbed a microphone.

	"What is this? I come out here ready for a fight, and I don't have anybody 
to fight. What's going on, Jack?" he yelled, looking up towards the roof of the 
Ultradome.

	*WHAM*

	Ranma was interrupted by a desk slamming into his back, knocking him down 
onto his stomach. Marlo, smiling evilly, climbed out of the crowd and into the 
ring.

	"It's a setup!" yelled Hiroshi, almost falling out of his seat. "Marlo 
Semaj has just knocked Ranma silly from behind with a thrown desk! It looks like 
Marlo wants revenge for Ranma's earlier interference!"

	Daisuke looked skeptical. "If this is just a response to what happened 
earlier tonight, what happened to Kunou and Hoahmaru?" he asked, looking on as 
Marlo turned the stunned Ranma onto his back and buried him under a huge pile of 
furniture, leaving only his head exposed.

	"I'm glad you asked that!" said Marlo, grinning. "That little handicap 
match was just a ruse I came up with. I've been planning this since last week as 
a way to teach this yutz over here," he said, nudging Ranma's head with his 
foot, "a lesson in respect. Jack agreed to help me after I offered to help him 
find new furniture for his office."

	"You couldn't teach me to fetch," Ranma spat, struggling to get out from 
under the pile of furniture.

	"Oh, I don't know about that, my cross-dressing friend. I think I'm gonna 
have a little fun talking to the crowd about how you like to dress up like a 
schoolgirl when nobody's looking."

	Marlo expected Ranma to rage and rant, struggling to get free while 
threatening Marlo with all sorts of bodily harms. He expected the young martial 
artist to lose is cool, making it easier for Marlo to taunt him.

	He didn't expect Ranma to start laughing.

	"What the hell are you doing?" yelled Marlo, confused. "I'm making fun of 
you."

	Ranma calmed down enough to talk coherently. "You can't think of anything 
better to do that to taunt me about my curse? Anything you say I've already had 
said to me twenty times nastier." Ranma chuckled. It was not a pleasant chuckle. 
"Hell, compared to Tarou, you're nothing."

	Marlo was pissed. This wasn't going the way he'd planned. "Shut up!" he 
screamed, rearing back and kicking Ranma in the teeth as hard as he could.

	Ranma just started to laugh again. Once again, it was not a healthy 
sounding laugh. 

	"This is starting to get creepy," said Daisuke, worried. "I think Ranma's 
losing it."

	"You... call that... a kick?" asked Ranma in between bouts of maniacal 
laughter. "I scratch my ass harder than that! You're worthless!"

	The crowd was now laughing to, much to Marlo's displeasure. This was 
turning into a disaster. Desperate, Marlo went with the first thing that came to 
mind.

	"Worthless, huh? That's not what your mom was saying last night," Marlo 
said with a smirk.

	Ranma stopped laughing.

	"Oh, I REALLY don't think Marlo wants to go there," said Hiroshi, looking 
around at the crowd, which had fallen silent at that last comment. "Not much is 
known about Ranma's mother, but we do know that Ranma just recently met her 
after almost fourteen years, and he's pretty sensitive on the subject."

	"What did you just say?" asked Ranma, that dangerous glint from before 
back in his eyes.

	Marlo smiled, seeing that he had finally gotten under Ranma's skin. "I 
said your mother is a cheap five dollar prostitute who'll sleep with anything 
that moves. You got a problem with that?"

	A red aura started to form around Ranma. Marlo didn't notice.

	"Oh, she wasn't bad as cheap whores go, but still not great. I guess you 
get what you pay for."

	"I don't think this is a smart move by Marlo, Daisuke," said Hiroshi, 
looking on with a concerned expression. "Ranma looks like he's ready to tear 
Marlo apart."

	The red aura around Ranma was brighter than before, and the dangerous 
glint was replaced by a look of absolute hatred.

	"Hey, wait a minute," said Marlo, working the crowd with his back towards 
Ranma, "if I'm sleeping with you mom...does that make me your daddy?"

	And then the world went red.

	Ranma's battle aura exploded outwards, blowing the furniture on top of him 
to pieces and knocking Marlo to the ground. Ranma got off the ground, turned 
towards Marlo, who was slowly getting up with a look of terror in his eyes, and 
let out a scream that chilled everyone in the Ultradome to the core of their 
beings.

	"Oh crap," said Marlo.

	Then the carnage began. Still screaming, Ranma closed the distance between 
himself and Marlo in the blink of an eye, tearing into the fighter with a fury 
nobody in the assembled crowd had ever seen.

	"Oh god, Ranma's snapped," said Daisuke, horrified. "He's gonna kill Marlo 
if somebody doesn't stop him."

	Hiroshi, meanwhile, watched silently.

	In the ring, Ranma had Marlo backed into a corner and was raining blow 
after vicious blow upon the helpless boy. Several loud cracks could be heard as 
some  of Marlo's ribs snapped, but Ranma didn't stop.

	Hiroshi stood up, took off his headset, and started to walk towards the 
ring.

	"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" yelled Daisuke, grabbing Hiroshi by the 
shoulder. "You'll be killed in there!"

	Hiroshi shook his head. "If I don't, Marlo's dead, and his blood will be 
on Ranma's hands. Do you want that?"

	Daisuke thought about that for a moment, and then stood up, taking off his 
headset. "If you're going, I'm going."

	The two announcers rolled into the ring and grabbed Ranma just as he was 
about to snap Marlo's arm like a twig, throwing the martial artist to the 
ground. "What the hell are you doing, Ranma?!?" yelled Daisuke.

	Ranma slowly got to his feet, the same look of hatred in his eyes. 
Growling, he leaped towards the two announcers, both his arms reared back. 
Daisuke and Hiroshi, knowing they had no chance of dodging, just closed their 
eyes, waiting for the blows...

	...which never came.

	They both opened their eyes to see Ranma running up the ramp and back into 
the backstage area. Sighing in relief, they turned towards each other.

	"I thought for sure we were dead," said Hiroshi, taking a deep breath.

	"Me too, man. Me too...oh, damn, look at Marlo!"

	Both men turned to see Marlo slumped in the corner of the ring, covered in 
blood. "We need some medics down here, now! Marlo's in really bad shape!" yelled 
Hiroshi frantically. 

	Almost instantly, a team of doctors were in the ring surrounding Marlo. 
After a few tense minutes, they put him on a stretcher and wheeled him backstage 
to towards the medical ward.

	One of the doctors turned towards Hiroshi and Daisuke. "He's messed up 
pretty bad, but his pulse is fairly strong and it doesn't look like any major 
blood vessels were damaged. He'll should be okay with a lot of rest."

	As the doctor walked away, Hiroshi turned to Daisuke. "What the hell just 
happened? This isn't like Ranma..."

	Daisuke shook his head. "I don't know. I just don't know.

***********

	"Now that was interesting," said Orochi, smiling.

***********

] [ ULTRA EPISODE #25 RECAP

] [ SHINGO YABUKI defeats EVIL SAKURA, now at 4W/2L.
] [ MEGAMAN defeats SEPHIROTH, now at 2W/0L.
] [ DAN HIBIKI defeats IORI YAGAMI, now at 5W/8L.
] [ Mr. SATAN defeats MARLO SEMAJ, now at 4W/0L, retains Gamma belt.
] [ RANMA gets jumped by Marlo, and then goes psycho on him. No status change.


Authors Notes:

Oy. This last weekend was perhaps the most draining experience I've ever had. 
Fun, though. I just never expected my first fanfic ever to run 41 pages... and 
to think, I was worried about it being too short...

Well, if you've read this far, then I hope you enjoyed the story, and are not 
instead planning to track me down, flay me alive, and dump me in a vat of salt. 
Heck, even if you haven't read this far, I hope you're not planning that.

A couple of things I wanted to mention:

-The "Ice Ice Materia" thing was my friend Chris' idea. We were playing FF1, and 
he was in the Volcano, and he cracked a joke about the ice spell he was casting. 
It was too odd to resist.

-I know the Shingo thing kinda came out of the blue, but it's something I've 
been thinking about since I got into the queue. I'm not a huge KOF fan, but 
Shingo has always seemed like a character with a lot of potential. When Kate had 
him punked by Sakura, the idea hit me, and it was too good to pass up, at least 
in my opinion. I hope you agree.

-Sean Gaffney gets credit as the originator of the vending machine/Lina thing.

-The Cur-Lee maneuver comes from the early episodes of TMNT, before it started 
to suck. Long story short, there's this whole buildup about the legendary 
maneuver which Splinter refuses to teach the turtles. Finally, at the end, he's 
forced to use it to defeat Shredder, and it turns out to be a Three Stooges 
thing. Classic stuff.

-The "Sephiroth is pissed" thing and Orochi's little comment at the end were 
just things that popped into my head. Ignore them if you want. The whole 
Cloud/Tifa thing, as well as the Ranma's breakdown, are major issues that I hope 
won't get tossed aside. 

-Thanks go out to Twoflower, who helped me a lot in getting prepared to write 
this, and also gave great pre-reader comments, wading through the maze of 
grammer mistakes that was my first draft, and to Kate Malloy, who reminded me 
how to count (Three Dragonballs plus one Dragonball equals... 3 Dragonballs! 
Good job, Jesse!) Thanks also go out to John Evans and Chronos, even though they 
didn't actually get to pre-read, due to my getting the first draft out late 
(Damned sinus headaches...). I apologize profusely to both of you for that.

-Feedback would be greatly appreciated, as this is my first fanfic. E-mail to 
je34@cornell.edu.

Jesse Ellman
"Dreaming permits us all the chance to be quietly and safely insane every night 
of our lives." 
	-Charles William Dement