There are times you really know you're in deep, that your once carefully
arranged life has turned into something about as fulfilling as stepping on
ants to satisfy bloodlust.  When you're down in the dumps, fallen from the
heights, and every other phrase that says, hey, life here.  I kicked you in
the balls once, and I'll do it again.

	And one of those times is when your rubber duckie won't talk to you.

	"Please talk to me, Mr. Duck!  I know you're mad at me, but I'm trying
to make it up to you!  Really I am!"

	*squeak*

	Daisuke eyed the spikey-haired man across the table from him with no
small amount of apprehension, then cautiously said, "Well... sounds like
he's talking again."

	Jack stared right back at Daisuke.  "He squeaked, Daichromate.  Man, you
must be really messed up in the head if you hear a rubber duck squeak and
think he's talking to you."

	"...whatever."

	The two each inspected their menus, grimacing as the thick layer of
grease on the laminated papers came off onto their fingers.   They'd been
meeting at this greasy spoon for the past week, working over the battle plan
that would put them back on top, back where they belonged, with God as their
witness, they would never be hungry again!

	Once they thought of it.  But they were almost there, really.  

	The waitress came up to them and gave them a flat look.  "Hi boys. 
Okay, coffee for Jack, a soda for Dai, and a slice of cheesecake for the
duck.  I'll be back in a minute."

	Jack pondered that.  "I hope this doesn't mean I'm getting predictable."
 Frowning, he dug out the notes they'd made over the last week, flipping
through them.  "We've still gotta find someone on the inside, someone we can
use to get us in the Dome and keep us there.  But we gotta have an in.  They
have to have a reason to listen to us."

	"Man, it's weird to hear you being logical," Daisuke said, blinking.

	"Ha ha.  Keep laughing, Daimler-Benz, but I don't see you coming up with
anyone."

	Frowning at Jack, Daisuke was about to snap back, and then paused.  "Oh.
 Wait.  I know someone.  Popular, rising stars, top-sellers, recognizable
faces... big fan following... able to stay at the top with good
management..."

	Jack stared at Daisuke.  "Who?!"

	He smiled viciously at Jack.  "...Lambda champions..."

	"No.  Wait, let me make that a little more clear.  NO, and I mean no
like Mensa turning down Hibiki.  I'm not going to manage those two that
started me on the road to the poorhouse.  Ungrateful brats."  A dark cloud
covered Jack's face, and he squeaked Mr. Duck out of habit.  "Aha!  See! 
See!  Mr. Duck agrees with me!"

	Daisuke ran his hand through his dyed hair, shrugged, and casually
replied, "You know, I heard a rumor way back when that you bought Hell by
selling some of James' stuff you'd stolen.  You know payback?"  He smiled
and continued brightly, "She is SUCH a bitch."

	"..."  Glowering mightily, Jack snapped out, "And what bug crawled up
your ass, Datsun?  We're on the same side here, you know?"

	"Yes we are.  And we're equals now.  So you can start treating me with
respect, listening to what I have to say, and remembering my damn name!"

	"...oh.  Look, it's just force of habit, okay?  And remember Dai...suke,
you just lost your announcing job.  *I* fell from owning that federation and
being master of all things.  So don't mind me if I'm just a little ticked,
alrighty?"

	The two eyed each other, then both seemed to acquiesce at once.  Daisuke
nodded at Jack, who in turn sighed, took his coffee from the waitress, and
gulped half of the mug down in one motion.  "And I just burned about the
entire roof of my mouth off.  Well, doesn't that just figure."

	The bell above the door rang, and the two turned to see a pair of
familiar faces entering.  "Good, I was hoping she'd have time before her
match," Daisuke said, waving them over.

	Akane and Ranma walked over to the table, shrugging off their coats. 
Ranma slid in next to Daisuke; Jack gave Akane a perfunctory nod as she sat
next to him.  As the two settled in, Daisuke smiled at them.  "I'm glad you
guys could make it."

	"Hey, you came to see me enough times when I was knocked off my feet,"
Ranma smiled, giving the former announcer a light bap on the shoulder. 
"Dunno how much help we can be, but it'll at least be nice to talk."

	"So here's the deal, kiddos.  Daisuke and I need someone to manage,
because the only other way we'd get back in that Dome is by being janitors,
and I ain't scrubbing any toilets.  And I WILL get back to the Ultradome,
one way or another."  He glanced sharply over at Ranma.  "Hey kid.  You need
a manager?"

	He shrugged.  "Sorry, I don't think I'll be in the ring for a few more
weeks."  As Jack grumbled, Ranma blinked, and retrieved a ringing cell
phone.  "Dr.  Toufu made me carry this, you know, if I got in trouble with
something," he said apologetically, then turned away.  "Yeah, hi!  Yeah, I
saw you last week... Hmm?  Yeah you did great against Sakura, really!"

	Jack listened to Ranma talking for a second, then looked back to Daisuke
and Akane.  "Okay, look.  We need someone who the fans like, who they can
root for.  Someone who won't knuckle under Nabiki's evil cigar-chomping
dictatorship."

	"That was you, Jack."

	"Oh, right.  Someone who won't knuckle under Nabiki's evil
caviar-munching dictatorship."  Akane frowned at him, but he continued. 
"Someone who has character, a backbone, a sense of integrity..."  He paused,
listening to Ranma's conversation on his cell phone, "...who would have a
bone to pick with Nabiki because she helped drive his mentor into a nervous
breakdown..."

	Daisuke blinked, but Jack had already grabbed the phone from Ranma's
hands, grinning like a maniac.  "Shingo, my boy, do we EVER have an offer
for you."

			  * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

                              LIVE!
                      FROM THE ULTRADOME!
                     THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE
                    IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME
                      SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
                        AND IMPROFANFIC!
                        IT'S TIME FOR...

         { M A G I C A L  T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G }
         {      C R O S S O V E R  F I G H T I N G      }
         {             F E D E R A T I O N              }
         {                .-----------.                 }
         {                | U-L-T-R-A |                 }
         {                `-----------'                 }
         {          http://www.improfanfic.com          }

        Episode #42: Life, the Ultradome, and Everything
        This Episode Written By: Kristen Smirnov
	With Assists By: Lurker and Kichigaisakka W4
        MTCFF Ultra created by Twoflower


	The Ultradome, not surprisingly, was loud.  Real loud, the kind of loud
that makes parents cringe as they walk into the room and ask what in the
world you're watching, and then ask again when they can't hear your answer. 
Through sound-proofed walls, corridors filled with rushing staff and
fighters, locker rooms, dressing rooms, and one office complete with a Louis
XIV desk, it was still loud.  Nabiki Tendou leaned back in her chair and
smiled.  "The sound of 30,000 paying attendees... God, it's wonderful.  To
think, I wasted all that time booking small bets on Ranma back home."

	The figure stretched languidly out on the couch smirked at Nabiki.  "You
seem to be taking to this role nicely."

	"What can I say, I was born to run a multinational organization with its
marketing fingers stretched into every corner of the globe."  Nabiki leaned
forward a bit, inspecting her visitor.  "Are you sure you're ready to fight
tonight?  I don't want my champion getting hurt."

	Morrigan shrugged off her concerns with a throaty laugh.  "Did you SEE
those fools I fought last week?  I'd be more likely to hurt myself filing my
nails.  I'm ready."

	A third voice piped up.  "Oh, Tendou-san, if you're worried about people
getting hurt, should I tell those nice missile people that they can take the
night off?  They could use it."

	"Who in the... oh.  No, Nuku Nuku, you do not need to tell Team Rocket
to take the night off.  If they can't fight, then they lose their title. 
Simple, hmm?  And did you give Darshu the information I prepared?"

	The android nodded her head vigorously.  "The stack you left right here
by the coffee machine!  I gave them to him just before the show."

	"...perhaps you weren't listening, then, when I told you to give him the
updated stack that I put right there on your desk.  Or maybe it's just that
your filing system holds no relation to any form of logic known to the rest
of the world.  Or maybe... just maybe... you're a complete scatterbrain."

	Nuku Nuku flinched back.  "Tendou-san, I'm just trying to do my best! 
I'm working just as hard as I did for Jack-san!"

	"Then Jack was a lot bigger fool than I'll ever be.  He kept you a
season; I took less than a week.  I'll be finding a real secretary, Nuku
Nuku.  You're fired."  Nabiki tapped her fingernails on the desk in
annoyance as her former employee began to sniffle.  "And do hurry it up,
alright?  Those of us who still work for Ultra have business to discuss."

	Her eyes misty with the harsh treatment, Nuku Nuku dashed out of the
room, leaving Nabiki and Morrigan alone.  The latter quirked an eyebrow. 
"Well, that was just a bit cruel, wasn't it?"

	"Not at all, Ms. Aensland.  Not at all.  This is not my sister's Ultra,
and it most certainly isn't Jack's.  If someone can't pull their weight,
they will be gone.  Those overpaid slackers who called themselves our Gamma
and Lambda referees are all gone, the four of them.  And you won't see me
shedding a single tear.  Most of the people here have spent their lives
wandering around the world, doing that whole warrior thing -- if they return
to that after a stint here, well, they got their 15 minutes."  She smiled at
Morrigan, who returned the expression.

	"Ms. Tendou, I think we might just get along."

	"Excellent.  And please, Morrigan.  Call me Nabiki."  Grabbing a nearby
remote, Nabiki prepared to turn on an overhead monitor, but stopped halfway.
"And I simply must have you and Darshu meet.  You two would get along...
amicably, I would imagine."

	"I'm sure," Morrigan smirked.

	As the two women shared a knowing smile, Nabiki reached up and clicked
on the monitor.  Ultra -- her Ultra -- was ready to begin.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"ARE YOU READY FOR SOME ULTRAAAAAAAAAAAA-"  Hiroshi paused, listening as
the cheers of the fans swelled to a fever pitch.  Just one more second to
let them get worked up, and then he'd go on...

	"Way to start off the show.  It usually helps if you take a breath
before you turn blue, you know."

	"VIOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLENCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEE?!"  As he finished, Hiroshi did
as Tarou had suggested, then returned to playing off the screaming fans.  "I
*SAID,* are you ready for some UL-TRA VIO-LENCE?!"

	As the volume managed to raise several notches on the Richter scale,
Tarou replied, "Yeah, Hiroshi, I think we can safely say they're ready."

	"Work with me, Tar-"

	"Say it, and the audience will hear your microphone pick up the fizzing
of whatever kind of carbonated sludge you had for lunch from the inside,"
the brunette replied with a thin smile on his face.

	"Um.  Like I was saying, folks, we've got a fight card lined up tonight
that'll knock your socks off, throw 'em in the washer, and fluff 'em when
they're done!  You saw their rivalry start last week, but a new wrench has
been thrown into the mix: When Marlo Semaj and Akane Tendou are forced to
fight under standard Gamma rules with a no-weapons stipulations, who will
crack first?  Who will it be?  WHO WILL IT BE?!"

	"Your vocal cords, pretty soon.  I'm taking your paycheck if I end up
doing your work because you were too stupid to take a drink."

	"No time for that, Tarou!  There are two great Lambda matches coming at
you tonight, too!  They lost the belt last week, and so Shermie and Yashiro
are sure to be nasty to face in the ring tonight!  Tifa and Bean have
challenged them, looking to turn around the outcome of their last match! 
These are four of the most skilled fighters in the division, so the show
should be spec-TAC-ular!"

	The crowd roared its approval, more at Hiroshi's enthusiastic pushing of
the match than the content itself.  They knew what they liked, and that was
whatever Hiroshi liked.  "And then we've got a title defense coming right at
you... will the Lambda champs be able to retain their belt against the
Samurai?"

	"...You are kidding, right?  This is Team Rocket we're talking about. 
They'd probably throw the belts at rich boy and the loudmouth if it meant
they could get out of the ring without getting hurt."

	Hiroshi covered his microphone and leveled a stern gaze at his partner. 
"Ixnay on the insults, Tarou."

	Smirking at Hiroshi, Tarou proceeded to announce, "And right before we
watch Team Rocket's stunning defeat, there'll be a special Japanese-style
Omega Deathmatch.  This should be a good one, since there's actually a guy
who's style I like, and there's no too many of those among the wimps in this
federation."  Ignoring Hiroshi's flat stare, Tarou continued.  "Darshu will
be facing off against the *snort* pink wonder, Taun-"

	"-ting Godhead Legend Stone Cold DAN HIBIKI!"  the audience cheered in
one extremely loud and excited voice.

	"...Yeah, him."

	Hiroshi eagerly jumped in to ride the wave of Dan Fan enthusiasm to
ever-greater heights.  "And to top it all off, we have the title defenses to
end all title defenses... you saw their match last week, but will Mr. Satan
be able to take down Morrigan this week for his humiliation at her hands?"

	The expected "SaTAN!  SaTAN!"  cheering started as soon as the afro'd
man's self-imposed title was announced, competing closely with the raucous
hooting of Morrigan's legions of male fans.  Letting the cheers swell for a
moment, Hiroshi then grabbed his mic.  "So tell me Ultra fans, ARE YOU READY
FOR SOME ULTRA VIOOOOOOOOOLENCE?"

	Pause, grin, nod.  "I thought so.  So let's give it up for your new
Hardcore champion and the Furnityre Savior, Akane Tendou and Marlo Semaj!"

	As the two leaned back to let the fighters make their entrances, Tarou
turned to scowl at Hiroshi.  "In case you've forgotten, I'm Ms. Tendou's
right-hand man.  So don't ever tell me how to do my job again, got it?"

	Gulp.  "Got it."

	Without further ado, the new Hardcore champion entered the Dome.  A
string of 'bakas' echoed from the speakers throughout the massive structure
as Akane jogged down the ramp, waving to the folks back home.  Reaching the
ramp, she easily climbed in, turned, and beamed a bright "I'm my Daddy's
girl, and Daddy's girl did GOOD!" smile at the audience.

	Bouncing from foot to foot in her freshly starched pale yellow gi, she
went through a series of warm-up katas, waiting for her opponent ...and then
went through some more, a frown starting to appear.

	"Well, Marlo's certainly taking his time to show," Hiroshi mused,
looking up towards the entrance ramps.  

	"Well, after his embarrassment last week, he probably doesn't want Akane
to kick his ass again."

	Hiroshi turned and blinked in surprise at Tarou.  "You're... not
insulting Akane?"

	"And do you want to make something of it, clone boy?  Yeah, I didn't
think so.  So where the hell is Marlo, anyways?"

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Backstage, Marlo smirked at the sight before him.  Oh, puh-LEAZE.  This
was pathetic.  This was beyond pathetic, this was like watching the two
pieces of jailbait duke it out over the walking voice box the fans all
drooled over.  

	Hoisting his trusty steel chair over one shoulder, he swaggered towards
the entrance, flashing an infuriating grin at the teen standing there. 
"Heyyyy, Saotome!  Come to hang and remember fondly when you weren't a
pussy?"  

	Ranma gritted his teeth and looked away from Marlo, focusing only on the
monitor overhead that showed Akane, alone in the ring.  

	"Not up for fighting?  I heard about your twelve step programs and other
namby pamby 'healing.'  Well, I hope it works just as well for Akane, 'cause
I'm gonna beat her like trailer park mother."  Flashing a quick two-fingered
salute at his former rival, Marlo then flipped off a one-fingered one as he
strode through the door.

	As soon as he set foot into the Dome, Kid Rock music blared, drawing the
attention of everyone there.  Particularly Akane.  She stopped her katas and
looked up, a challenging and assured look on her face... which was matched
grin for grin by Marlo.

	"Ooooh no you don't, Missy.  No you don't, Little Missy Tendou.  I SAW
what you did, writing 'No Weapons' on the booking sheet backstage.  Unless
it's written in the graceful and flowing hand of Miss Nabiki Tendou, I DON'T
ACCEPT IT!  So you tighten the belt on that adorable little Dan-wannabe
outfit, if you can with your chunky little waist, and get ready for a long,
sustained series of chairshots!"

	Akane grinned up at him, arms folded.  "S'matter, Marlo?  You afraid a
girl's gonna beat you AGAIN?  You're just like any other little boy...
you're nothing without your wood."

	Marlo's left eye twitched.  "I was NOT beaten by a girl!  I was beaten
by a fluke!  By the moon's gravitational pull!  By a misalignment of the
stars!  All it was is a mistake that I'm gonna rectify.  If that means
putting you over my knee and spanking that chubby little tomboy's ass of
yours without furniture, then FINE!  Bring it on, kd lang!"

	Akane's assured demeanor dropped, and she stormed to the side of the
ring nearest him.  "I am NOT a tomboy!"

	Marlo quirked an eyebrow and grinned.  Oh ho, so this is how she played.
 "Then maybe you should look into a makeover, girlie, because da-YAM."  He
put his hands on his hips and made a show of inspecting her.  "If you're not
a tomboy, I'd be afraid to see a real one.  They must breed 'em big AND dumb
in Nerima.  I thought as much when I met your pansy-assed boyfriend, but you
take the cake, the icing, and the ice cream on the side!  And it shows on
those thighs, kiddo."

	"Why you... you... Get down here and let's start this fight!  Weapons or
not, I'll pound you into the ground!"

	"Nah.  I think I'll prove to everyone here that I AM better than you,
furniture or not.  I'm taking your challenge, little girl.  Hardcore match
or Gamma, you're going DOWN."  Throwing his chair aside, Marlo started
tearing down the ramp, making his soon-to-be triumphant appearance in the
ring.  

][ GAMMA MATCH #1
][ MARLO SEMAJ vs.  AKANE TENDOU
][ FIGHT!

 	And then Akane punched him in the face.

	"Whoohoo!  Kick his furnityre butt!"  Hiroshi cheered, giving Akane a
thumbs-up.  He flinched back as both Marlo and Tarou turned to give him a
less-than-pleasant look, and stared at the latter confusedly.  "What?  I
thought you liked Akane."

	"She's okay for a-" he smirked, "-little girl, but I do admire the man's
attitude now that I've seen it up close and personal."

	Akane growled as she heard Tarou's voice behind her, and advanced on
Marlo with a vengeance... and a pair of balled fists.  "Would everyone just
stop calling me a LITTLE GIRL?!"

	She swung at Marlo, but her fury made the punches swing wide, and he
easily hopped out of range.  "I thought your boyfriend couldn't hit worth a
damn, but maybe you were just giving him his lessons.  Or maybe it's all
that excess baggage slowing you down."

	Gritting her teeth, Akane forced down the beserker fury she knew would
give Marlo the advantage, and recalled the training her father had given
her.  Focus, Akane, just think about your balance, the flowing movements,
about-

	"I've seen that Shampoo chick; so why is Ranma hanging out with a two by
four like you when the pin-up girl there is bouncing around within reach?"

	-just think about how you want to punch his smug little FACE IN!

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Oh, this was so incredibly not good.  Ranma paced around backstage,
looking up at the monitor anxiously.  Akane couldn't let herself get mad
over this, she was bound to lose.  All he had to do was run out there, calm
her down, and pound that little PRICK'S face in...

	But he couldn't.  He'd promised Akane that he'd stay backstage, no
matter what happened.  That he'd stay calm, that he'd look forward to the
day when he could once more find peace in the ring instead of use it to
release his rage.  He knew exactly what she'd say, too: "I didn't need your
help, Ranma!  I can do this on my own!"  She wouldn't mean it.  She'd still
say it, though.

	Trying to focus only on the feeling of his fingernails digging into his
palms, Ranma watched the match and worried.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"And, uh, ow.  Marlo has taken some hits during this match, folks --
like that one right there, ouch -- but the taunts just do NOT stop coming. 
I guess he's going with what he has left without his furnitu- OW that punch
on his injured arm had to hurt."  Hiroshi winced.

	Even with all the hits he'd taken, Marlo's face was still the picture of
arrogance.  "So, there's big sis the God, middle sis the whiz kid, and... I
guess your mom must've started liking her brother too much by the time you
came around."

	"Shut up shut up shut up! Are you here to fight or aren't you?!"  Akane
hadn't had a perfect match by any accounts, but what light taps Marlo had
landed spoke poorly of his skills with anything but furniture.  Having had
ANY get through, though, had angered her more.  

	The audience was little more to her than a dull roar in her ears, barely
noticed.  Hiroshi cheering her on fell into the same category... but there
was Tarou, now laughing every time Marlo made one of his jabs.  Marlo, that
jerk, Marlo, that self-absorbed BOY...

	"Marlo..."

	"Give it up and go home, little girl.  You're never gonna win in a real
Hardcore fight again. I am Hardcore. That belt is mine!"

	"...no..."

	"Bring it on!  Bring!  It!  On!  If you think you can get a win against
me, you wannabe with an ass like the Grand Tetons, then give it your best
shot!  It'd be the only win you'd ever be able to shoot for, because you're
not ever going to more of a woman than Shampoo, your sisters, or YOUR
BOYFRIEND!"

	"...BAKA!"

	*WHAM*

	Akane panted with mingled fury and elation, the latter quickly taking
over.  She raised her mallet high, reveling in the cheers of the crowd...
and then heard the referee calmly announce, "Semaj wins."

	The mallet fell from her hands as she turned to face him, eyes huge. 
"WHAT?!"

	"You broke the no-weapons stipulation.  Automatic victory for Semaj."

	Akane's mouth opened and closed wordlessly as the boos of the crowd
began to swell.  A Marlo victory had not been what they wanted to see,
despite the Gamma regulations keeping him from retrieving the Hardcore belt.
She looked over to the announcer's table; Hiroshi gave her a helpless
shrug, Tarou only favored her with an amused smirk.  Muttering under her
breath, Akane prepared to leave the ring...

	And was smacked across the back of the head with a steel folding chair. 

	"Get up, bitch!  GET UP!  I played your game, now you play mine!  We're
not done here, not by a longshot!  You wanted to be hardcore, well I AM
HARDCORE!  I'm not gonna wait until next week when I can take a piece of
your ass out right now!  Get UP, you pathetic GIRL!"

	Akane bit down the cries from each strike of the metal, trying to focus
only on escaping his direct area of attack.  He was going for her head,
obviously hoping to knock her out of commission; permanently or not, she was
too frenzied to judge.  But she did know that his focus on her head left her
legs unguarded.

	Marlo staggered back as Akane's left heel pounded into his shin; he
instantly came back to resume the attack, but the separation of the two had
given the referees time to come up and get ahold of him.  His chest heaved
as he stared at Akane, his arms strained against the officials' grasp. 
Akane simply gave him a level stare, wiped away a trickle of blood from her
cheek, and turned to face the audience's applause. 

	After a few moments of adulation, she went to leave the ring, only to
hear, "I GOT YOU, little girl.  Your ass was mine, and we both know it. 
When we have a real Hardcore fight next time, you're going down so fast that
earthquake stations in Cali will pick it up."

	Swallowing hard, Akane forced herself to leave the ring without a reply.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"Ranma?"

	The stricken martial artist looked up from the corner where he lie
huddled in a small, quavering ball.  Above him, a monitor showed the
now-empty ring.  "I... I wanted to come out and help you."

	Akane smiled down at him; the expression was only half-there, but what
she could manage after the match was genuine.  "But you kept your promise,
Ranma.  To Dr. Toufu, Kasumi, and me.  I'm very proud of you."

	"Really?"

	"Really."  With a sigh, Akane flopped down on the floor next to Ranma. 
"Would you have been coming out there to get revenge on Marlo for what he
was doing to me?"

	"...yeah."

	She cocked her head to one side, the small smile growing.  "And you knew
that, and you managed to keep from doing it.  I'm happy for you."

	The pig-tailed martial artist considered this for a second, then finally
let a smile appear on his face as well.  "Maybe I can be back in the ring
sooner than I thought."

	"Ranma, don't rush things..."

	The small smile on his face began to approach something akin to the
cocky grin so common in days prior to Ultra.  "Akane, you gotta know that
you can't keep Ranma Saotome down for long."

	"I know, Ranma,"  Akane beamed at him.  "I know."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

[Commercial: A father and son sit on a cliff, watching the sunset]

SON:	Dad?

DAD:	Yes, son?

SON:	Our school's baseball team lost today.

DAD:	I'm sorry to hear that, son.

SON:	And my math teacher streaked the principal again, shouting, "Hail
Mary, Mother of Carl Sagan!"

DAD:	Wow.  That's rough.

SON:	And hairstylists from Kosovo crashed my hard drive yesterday.

DAD:	I'm sorry to hear that.

SON:	And I feel less than fresh.

[The father sighs and embraces the child]

DAD:	I think I know what you need, son.

[Two aluminum cans fly into the father's open hand.  He opens one and hands
it to the son.]

DAD:	Here, son.  Have a cup of Goddamn Tea.

[Switch to an announcer in a loud plaid tuxedo with the father and son in
the background]

ANCR.: Yes!  You, too, can drink your troubles away without worrying about
being carded or getting drunk off of your insignificant ass!  Just rush to
your supermarket and look for Goddamn Tea!

[The announcer shows a can which has a picture of Lina in a red circle with
a slash through it.]

ANCR.: Every can of Goddamn Tea is condemned by the Alpha and Omega herself!
And it's just one calorie!

[Cut to two children sitting at a dining room table. Cid Highwind, dressed
in a blue dress and white apron, trudges into the room.]

KID1:	I'm thirsty, Mom!

[Cid slams down two cans on the table.]

CID: Sit down, shut up, and drink your Goddamn Tea!

[Cut back to the announcer.]

ANCR.: Goddamn Tea!  Ask for it by name!  It's okay!  Sin has never tasted
so good!

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Inside a dressing room, a punching bag exploded.

	Bean Bandit looked up.  "Geez, Teef, that's the third one this week. 
Save some for the ring, huh?"

	Tifa Lockheart flashed a grin at her partner / boyfriend and shrugged. 
"It's called practice, Beanie.  And we just want to beat those Void jerks,
not explode them into little tiny pieces."

	He smirked.  "You know, you don't really sound like you mean that."

	Little pieces of punching bag flew at Bean, and he covered his face
mock-dramatically.  Tifa grinned, then explained, "And... I want to get
these guys.  I really do.  I really, really-"  She reached back, realized
there was no bag for her to punch, and settled for just smacking her fist
into her palm.  "-do.  The big Omega match last week -- they were fighting
for Hell."  The grin slipped from her face a little, but she continued
shadow-boxing to keep her muscles warm.

	Bean frowned.  "So... you're mad because they're with, uh... you
know..."

	Tifa turned and gave him a half-smile.  "Cloud.  You can say his name,
you know.  I... no, I'm not mad because they're with Cloud.  I'm mad because
Cloud's with them.  I know that, no matter what people are seeing when they
watch, he's not really evil.  He's just confused again.  He's being
manipulated.  But you know what else?"  Stopping her mock-fight, she turned
to face Bean, breath a coming a bit quickly.  "I'm not going to run off
after him this time.  If I know him, and I think I do better than just about
anyone, he chose this.  He may not have realized it, but he chose it.  And
he'll stop before he gets in too deep, but he won't stop until he's good and
ready."

	Hopping to his feet, Bean put his hand on Tifa's shoulder and gave it a
quick squeeze.  "It's great to see you smiling again, Teef."

	Leaning up to give him a quick peck on the lips, Tifa then jerked her
head towards the door.  "Now let's go kick some ass."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Inside another dressing room, a makeup bag exploded.  Three bottles of
foundation, one pot of concealer, a eyeshadow compact, an eyeliner pencil, a
jar of powder, and a big fluffy pink powderpoof poured onto a table. 
"There."

	James looked down at the table, then back up at Jessie.  "Jessie, I'm
not putting on makeup before our match!  It's stupid!  It's humiliating! 
And this is Summer makeup and I'm a Spring!"

	His head was forced to one side as Jessie started dabbing foundation
around his right eye, firmly holding his chin in her hand.  "Have you looked
in the mirror recently, James?  Maybe bruises and black eyes are fine for
those ruffians that make up the rest of the division, but we're better than
that.  We're Team Rocket, champions, masters of all we survey!"

	"And I'm James of Team Rocket, who's really really hurting right now!" 
Wincing as she started blending with her finger, he whined, "They've been
punching me and kicking me and picking me up by my perfect face!  Can't we
put off this match a little, wait until I feel better, maybe make a little
jaunt to Rio?"

	"Oh, hush.  You're not hurt that bad."  Dab dab.  "There.  And isn't
this what we always wanted?  We're famous!"

	"While *I* take all the pain," James groused.  He glanced over at a
mirror and sighed.  "And you completely messed up my eyeliner!  Just give me
the pencil."

	Jessie sighed and handed it over, checking her hair one last time. 
James sat down and leaned close to the mirror, trying to get his injured eye
to look all purty for the cameras.  He grumbled as he worked, muttering
about how it was so grossly unfair to make him fight under these conditions,
and how much could a week off really hurt, right?

	Jessie heard his complaints, and walked over next to him, looking down
with a sharp glare.  "Come ON, James!  We have a plan for tonight, right?  A
foolproof one!"

	He looked up at her.  "Do I really have to get back in that ring?  Can't
we just think of an easier way?"

	"I don't... we have the championship, right?  We've screwed up enough
here.  I want to keep those belts, James.  Let's show everyone that Team
Rocket is the best.  Even if we don't know where Meowth is, the two of us
are still ready to give those people a show."  She shrugged and studied the
ceiling as she continued.  "And since Team Rocket's the best, it only makes
sense that *I*, the most beautiful fighter in this organization, should take
the ring first.  Very best of the best, you know.  I'm sure the audience
would rather see me, anyways."

	James blinked up at her.  "Wow, Jessie.  You can be nice when you get
everything going your way."

	Looking down at him, she added, "Tell anyone, and that mascara tube goes
down your throat."

	"Um.  Let's just get ready, then."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Nabiki glanced up as the door to her office was flung open and quirked
an eyebrow.  "I suppose I shouldn't ask if you have an appointment."

	Akane glowered at her older sister.  "Well, are you going to do
something?"

	"Something about what?"

	"About... about HIM!  About what he did!  C'mon, Nabiki, that wasn't
fair at all!"  Akane stormed about the room, stomping on the thick pile
Persian rugs.  "Did I come here to fight or not?  I mean, I'm here to help
Ranma, sure... and I don't want him knowing how mad I am... but come ON! 
Why didn't I get a real fight today?"

	"I don't know, Akane.  Why don't you tell me?"  Akane stared at her
blankly, so Nabiki continued.  "In case you haven't noticed, we're big girls
here.  I thought you would've liked it, Ms. 'I hate boys.' All but one of
the champs are women.  Lina's God.  And, most importantly of all, I'm in
charge.  So Akane... why are you acting like a little girl surrounded by
grown women?"

	Akane stared at her and stammered, "Lit... little... little GIRL?!  Why
do people keep calling me that?  I'm not a little girl!"

	"Oh?  Perhaps it's because you reacted to his taunts like you were on an
elementary schoolyard.  Because you took what should have been an easy win
and made a fool of yourself by letting your emotions run astray.  So tell
me, Akane... did you come here to fight or not?"

	The younger girl stared at her older sister, hurt.  "Nabiki, geez.  Why
are you being so mean?  You're my sister, you should stick up for me!"

	Leaning back in her chair, Nabiki shrugged.  "This is business, and
you're onl... and you're family.  It's important to keep them separate.  You
understand that, right?  Excellent.  Just put up a real fight, and there
won't be any problems."

	Looking at her for a long moment, Akane nodded and walked out.  Closing
the door behind her, she strode away, having deliberately not told Nabiki
about Jack's plans.  After all, that was just a business matter.  She
shouldn't get involved.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"I would really warn against getting involved with him," Urd warned.  

	Lina looked at the elegantly-penned letter and frowned.  "I know, I
know.  My brain's telling me to just ignore this, but... what if he's on the
up-and-up?  Think of the advantage this could give us!"

	Urd strode over and plucked the letter from Lina's hands, inspecting it
herself.  "I don't know, Lina-sama.  Yes, he would know more about fighting
Cloud than anyone... but he's still Sephiroth.  And take it from someone
who's seen his softer side -- the man has no softer side.  He'll step on
anyone in his way without remorse."

	"But no matter what he says, he's not really a god, right?"

	"Well, right."

	Lina grinned and shrugged.  "So what's the problem, then?  I'll go talk
to him, see if this alliance is a go or not... and if he tries to pull
anything, I'll get Old Testament on the pretty boy."

	"You really must stop watching those American movies."

	"And don't worry."  She stabbed a finger at the postscript.  "He
promised to leave his mecha at home."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Dr. Light blinked as the communications link to Washuu's lab opened, and
the vid window displayed... well, it *looked* like Gally, but he couldn't be
entirely sure.  Whatever it was only had about half a face, and barely
three-quarters of a torso.  "Good heavens!" he exclaimed.  "What happened to
you?"

	"Oh, last week's match got a little bit rough," the cyborg replied in a
voice that literally spoke out of a badly damaged synthesizer box.  "What
can we do for you, Dr. Light?"

	Light blinked, then adjusted his glasses.  "Well, I'm calling about the
repairs to Megaman... I'm performing some upgrades, and on top of the basic
repairs, I may not have him fully functional for--"

	"Don't worry about it," Gally interrupted.  "I guess nobody told you,
but Megaman was fired last week."

	"Fired!?" Light exclaimed.  "Why? What's going on?"  He frowned. 
"Where's Washuu?"

	Gally looked about as uncomfortable as she could for only having half a
face.  "There was... an incident last week.  Washuu... isn't quite herself
now, if you know what I mean."

	*So that explains why Gally's in such a mess,* Light thought to himself.
"And you and Ifurita are there alone?"

	Gally nodded.  "Which is why I'm in this shape, and why I'm patched into
the computers," she replied.  "Ifurita may be great on the battlefield, but
she isn't the most effective robosurgeon."

	Light stroked his chin.  "Hmmm... well, if Megaman is no longer in
Ultra, then I should come pick up some equipment I left for him in Washuu's
lab.  And perhaps while I'm there, I can fix you back up, and you can tell
me just what's been going on."

	Gally looked rather grateful at that. "Thank you, Dr. Light. That would
be very much appreciated."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Yashiro and Shermie stood in the middle of the ring, glaring at the
audience as their boos echoed around the Ultradome.  Well, Yashiro glared
while Shermie managed to pull off a really, really peeved pout.  They'd had
to make a unaccompanied entrance, with only the insults and abuse of the
audience to walk down the ramp to.

	Yashiro motioned for a mic, then signaled for the audience to just shut
the hell up already, alright?  He got the point.  As about half of them
quieted down, he raised the microphone to his mouth and started ranting. 
"So this is what Ultra is all about, huh?  We get ROBBED last week and you
BOO US?!"

	Yes, the general consensus seemed to be, that's exactly what we'll do. 
Boo!

	Yashiro glowered even more darkly at all of them as Shermie stamped her
foot.  "Don't you people care about SKILL?  We have the power to hold a
belt, and we did so for more than a season.  We tied for longest title reign
in Ultra, we get gypped out of setting a record by a girl too chicken to set
foot in the ring and Jimmy the wonder queer, and you're booing US?"

	Shermie grabbed the mic away from him and continued on, "But we're the
strongest!  You should care about skill, and strength, and just cheer for
the best fi-"

	Her words were cut off as the opening notes to "Breaking the Law" 
echoed throughout the Dome.  Shermie gritted her teeth, Yashiro did the
same, and they both glared up the now-spotlit ramp.

	Tifa raised her own microphone to her lips and replied, "They are
cheering for the best fighters!"  Winking at the audience, she threw her hip
to one side and asked, "And who do you think's the best?"

	The audience didn't quite manage to say "Tifa and Bean!"  in one voice,
or even approach that feat, but the feeling was there.  As the cheering
continued, Tifa went on.  "You guys may have beat us before, and you may
have been the champs.  But Beanie and I are here now to show you that this
federation is about real skill, real strength, and the REAL best fighters! 
People who win without cheating and fight for what's right!"

	Bean grinned at the audience, all the while desperately hoping the boys
back in Chicago weren't watching to see him called 'Beanie.'  "So don't
think you'll send us packing like last time, because if anyone's heading to
the Void after this fight, it's you guys!"

	The bell rang, and Tifa and Bean ran down the ramp.

][ LAMBDA MATCH #1
][ DISCIPLES OF THE VOID vs.  TIFA AND BEAN
][ FIGHT!

	As Shermie slid under the ropes, Tifa used them for a jumping-off point,
pulled off a nice mid-air 360, and landed solidly on the mat.  

	Yashiro quirked an eyebrow.  "Not bad."

	She smiled.  "Thanks."  Rolling her weight onto the balls of her feet,
Tifa danced lightly back and forth, waiting for Yashiro to make the first
move.  

	He simply smirked, took a defensive position, and motioned for her to
try and break through.  "C'mon, girlie.  Or are you too tired from testing
the bedsprings with your new boytoy?  I'll have to tell Cloud about how
happy you two are together."

	"You do that," Tifa replied as she rushed him; not with the wild abandon
of a successfully taunted opponent, but of a trained martial artist who'd
noticed an opening.  Whipping her leg forward, she aimed for his chest,
metal plate on her shoe gleaming under the lights.

	Naturally, the strike didn't get through.  Yashiro simply grabbed her
foot and twisted, preparing to send Tifa hurtling into the mat.  As he did,
she tucked into a roll and whipped her captured leg around, drawing his
hand, arm, and rest of his body along with the momentum.  While she was able
to continue the motion back to a standing position, Yashiro was flung
gracelessly down, landing with a loud smack.  It wasn't a hard strike.  But
it was embarrassing.

	Yashiro eyed her as he got back his feet; she had stepped back to give
him plenty of room.  "Well you're a little more together than last time." 
He ignored the taunts that has started back up after the unfortunate
beginning to the match, and instead began to circle Tifa, looking for a
weakness.

	Though the two continued that way for only a few seconds, it seemed like
longer as everyone in the arena seemed to hold their collective breaths,
waiting for an action, any action.  On the sidelines, Bean and Shermie were
easily the loudest people in the building, each cheering their teammate on.

	Once again, Tifa was the first to strike.  Her hair flew out behind her
as she whipped into a combo of darting punches and elbow strikes, most of
which Yashiro blocked.  Some got through, though, and he began to stagger
back.

	"Yashiro!"  Shermie squealed, clutching the ropes.  "What are you DOING,
letting her punch you like that?"

	Without turning, he replied, "This."  As Tifa turned on her heel to
finish off the combo with a spinning heel strike to his gut, he reached out
and grabbed her ponytail.  The action threw her off-balance, and he was able
to snag her attacking foot, still in motion, with the other hand.  Before
she could twist to escape, he swung around and smacked her down HARD on the
mat.

	Tifa quickly rolled to the side once she was hit, but instincts from
training could only take her so far.  The blow was still ringing in her ears
as she scrambled to her feet, and Yashiro took advantage of the greater
damage his hits could land.  A solid haymaker, normally a strike Tifa could
dodge with her eyes closed, took her straight across the jaw, sending her
bouncing back into the ropes.

	Yashiro smacked his fists together and advanced on Tifa, but Bean had
already tagged in.  The Roadbuster stepped heavily into the ring, cracking
his knuckles.  "I know Teef wanted to be the one to send your sorry ass
packing, Nanakaze, so I'll just smack you around a bit until she's ready to
do just that."

	"Your concern for your partner is touching, Bandit," Yashiro smirked. 
"So, has she called you 'Cloud' in bed yet, or is she saving that for the
honeymoon?"

	Wham.  "Howsabout this, Yashie Boy.  You talk about her again like that
and I smash in your face?"

	Yashiro nursed his aching jaw for a moment, then narrowed his eyes at
Bean.  "You picked the wrong week to piss me off, pal."

	"Why'sat?"  Bean smirked as he searched for an opening.  "Mad about
losing your title?"

	Yashiro growled in the back of his throat, dropping to a more
threatening stance.  "It's still my title.  I'm still the best.  There is no
way those little snot-nosed punks beat me."

	It would've been easy to play off Yashiro's current weakness, but Bean
let the issue drop.  He and Tifa had agreed on this match: pure skill.  They
were here to show their skill, and he wouldn't drop to the Disciples' level.

	He moved in for a hold on Yashiro, hoping to bring the fight to
grappling.  Rather unexpectedly, his wishes were granted.  Yashiro rushed
him, a fury powering his moves that was wholly startling.  For the first few
seconds, Bean could do little but try to keep the strikes from getting
through, keep Yashiro from getting the lock-hold on his throat he was aiming
for.

	The downside of such a rage quickly showed its face, though, and Bean
was able to take advantage of a opening in one of Yashiro's strikes.  As he
clocked the man with a ham-fisted punch to the breastbone, he saw a horrible
realization come across the Void fighter's face.

	"No," Yashiro muttered as he stumbled back.  "NO!  I won't lose!"

	Shermie danced around the side of the ring, ready to be tagged in when
needed.  Her calls went unheeded by Yashiro, though, who was seemingly
driven enough to bring down not only Tifa and Bean, but the entire Lambda
division.

	Bean's determination was proving more an asset than Yashiro's fury, and
more and more of his strikes began to land.  Yashiro shrugged them off and
kept fighting, but his moves slowed with every step.  A distant voice danced
around the outside of his consciousness, but he ignored it, not taking the
time to wonder who it came from.

	Whether he'd wondered or not, the question was answered for him when he
turned to avoid a blow and saw Shermie climbing into the ring.  He glared. 
"Shermie, get out! This is my fight!"

	"But Yashiiiro!  You're all tired and sweaty and icky!  Let me fight for
a while, and then you can come back in, okay?"  She reached over and gave
him a light bap on the shoulder, started to walk in the ring... and was then
shoved back against the ropes by her partner. 

	"I'm not going out, Shermie."  Yashiro gave his partner a cold stare as
she tugged anxiously on his wrist, not moving an inch.  "You better get out
before you get us disqualified."

	"Ya...Yashiro!  What's WRONG with you?  You're in bad sh-"  Realizing he
would make good on the threat to disqualify them both, Shermie quickly
slipped under the rope just before the referee called for the Disciples' DQ.

	Yashiro turned back to the ring, ready to kick some namby-pamby ass, and
was promptly welcomed by Tifa's fist to his nose.  He stumbled back
clutching his face, and glared at the newly-recovered and newly-tagged
fighter.  "Bitch," he muttered, but it came out sounding more like "Bidth."

	Tifa flashed him a bright smile.  "Should've tagged out while you
could!"  She raised her glove into the air, one of the materia embedded in
it starting to glow.  "HASTE!"

	The next few seconds of Yashiro's life were slightly painful.

	After the flurry of attacks had sent him sliding across the mat, Yashiro
dragged himself up to his hands and knees, coughing.  "No.  NO.  I will NOT
lose.  I'm the best, dammit.  Getting set aside for the little kid with the
wind-up toy and a damn DUCK... I WILL NOT LOSE!"

	A howl ripped from Yashiro's throat as he rushed Tifa, even her
magically-enhanced speed having trouble with blocking all of Yashiro's
blows.  One hit, then another began to get through her defenses.

	Twin stabs of burning pain ripped through Yashiro's chest every time he
took a breath, and he knew he wouldn't be able to continue much longer.  But
he was winning.  He was winning!

	A crimson flash caught his attention, a familiar presence from earlier
matches.  Looking up for just a fraction of a second, Yashiro caught
Xelloss' steady gaze and smiled madly, knowing that this sealed his
opponent's fate.  "This it is, bitch.  Say good night."

	Absolutely nothing happened.

	As Yashiro stared in shock at Xelloss, Tifa launched her
counteroffensive.  A Beat Rush flowed into a Water Kick into a Meteodrive. 
As she finished the final attack, Yashiro was slammed against the mat and
stirred once.  He didn't move again.

	Bean rushed the ring and swept Tifa in a huge bear hug, kissing her in
front of everyone -- some distant part of his mind realized with horror he'd
be using the "boyfriend" tag in public from now on.  Shermie sighed in
disappointment, and climbed in to check on her partner.  Yashiro...
continued to lie on the mat.

	Xelloss, unnoticed by anyone in their cheering for Tifa and Bean, had
vanished, leaving only his failed agents behind.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Jack blinked in surprise as he saw the two figures waiting for them in
the room.  "Hey, Yabuki.  Didn't know you were planning to bring a friend."

	Sakura waved at Jack, but her face wasn't entirely welcoming.  "I ran
into Shingo in the hall, and he told me he'd talked to you.  I thought I'd
come along, see what's up."

	Jack nodded, and carefully set Mr. Duck down to observe the proceedings.
 "Okay, here's the deal.  Dai and I know this federation inside and out.  We
know the fighters.  We know the staff.  And we know the new boss, and she
ain't going to be too nice to any of them.  So, members of the Noxema
Generation, you're going to have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to prove your
stuff under MY watchful eye."

	Daisuke cleared his throat.

	"Under my and Daisuke's watchful eyes.  That's what I said.  Right, Mr.
Duck?"

	Shingo looked uncertain, but Sakura already looked ready to give an
answer.  "No way."  Not that it was the answer that Jack and Daisuke
wanted...

	"Hey hey hey! Don't be so hasty, cotton queen!  Hear us out, and then
decide whether you want our masterful hands handling those panty shot
entrances of yours."  Daisuke muttered something about how Jack wasn't
helping in the SLIGHTEST, but the grinning man continued on.  "Tell me your
problems, I'll make 'em all go away, and poof, we've got ourselves a
stable."

	"A stable, huh?  I seem to remember the last one you managed including
Marlo, Morrigan, Team Rocket... correct me if I'm wrong.  And Shingo and I
don't want to be associated with anything like that."

	Jack snorted.  "Well, ignoring the fact that *you* seem to be doing all
the talking when I invited Shingo... come on.  Team Rocket is all shiny
happy now.  Morrigan is a bigger bitch than she was when I managed her, and
look at what great terms we're on.  I'm not the bad guy here."

	Shingo looked anxiously over at Sakura.  "He's right about that.  I
mean, we saw Morrigan attack him last week, we can't think that they're
still together like they were."

	A grin and a thumbs-up were Shingo's reply on the managerial end.  "I
always knew I liked you, Yabuki.  Even when I was making snide comments
behind your back... I tease because I love.  Really.  And hey.  So I was a
little power-hungry... it happens to the best of us.  You'd think a guy
could get a second chance."

	Before Jack's speech straight out of a self-help booklet could continue,
he was interrupted by a flustered female leaping across the table, grabbing
his shirt collar... and pulling him into a great big hug.  Daisuke, Shingo,
and Sakura all stared as Nuku Nuku clutched at Jack.

	"Jack-san, I got fired!" she whimpered.

	Behind her, Daisuke noted to himself that this little instance pointed
out that if they were holding a secret meeting to overthrow the new
rightfully appointed leader of the federation, perhaps they should close the
door.  He did so.

	Only able to reply to Nuku Nuku's situation with a helpless shrug, Jack
replied, "Well, I'm sorry, kiddo, but I know the feeling, and yeah, it
sucks.  But I'm not the guy to come crying to."  Seeing her hurt grow deeper
at his dismissal, he sighed.  "Gah, fine.  Talk, explain, whatever."

	"Well... Tendou-san wanted me to give Mr. Schneider some papers that
told him about his fight.  I suppose I gave him the wrong ones, and when she
found out... she fired me."  Nuku Nuku sighed and looked down at the floor
until Sakura's voice rang out.

	"Do you know what was on the papers?"

	The android thought for a moment.  "I... I didn't read them, but I
remember hearing her talk about them.  They told where some exits were, so
he could get away and win."

	Shingo looked over to Sakura, wide-eyed.  "You mean... Ms. Tendou was
having you just tell someone how to win, without even fighting?  Wow. I
don't even think you'd do that, Jack."

	"Thanks for the vote of confidence.  No, I really mean that.  We are
going to HAVE to work on our people skills, Mr. Yabuki."

	Having walked across the room and plunked herself down next to Nuku
Nuku, Sakura looked over at her intently.  "Is Nabiki doing anything else
wrong like that?"

	"Well... I shouldn't really say if what she was doing was wrong or not. 
She may not have been very nice, but she was really smart.  And she was my
boss."  Nuku Nuku frowned, then slowly added, "...but ...she was being
really nice to Morrigan, and she didn't care about other people at all.  I
didn't think that was right.  She wouldn't give anyone else a night off, but
she would for Morrigan!"  The dam had apparently been breached, for Nuku
Nuku proceeded to rattle off dozens of little things she'd noticed over the
past week that all added up to "just not very nice of Tendou-san!"

	Shingo looked over to Sakura, apparently waiting for her judgment on the
matter.  She frowned, stood, and stared at the ceiling for a long moment. 
"...You know, I'm really all that's left of Spirit of Shotokan.  I talk like
it's still around, but it's done with." She sighed.

	Looking over to Shingo, Sakura continued.  "But when we were together
back in the old days, we tried to be a focal point for other fighters.  Even
if Jack was being a jerk and doing everything wrong, we were the ones to
stand up and be counted on the side of everything right."

	Before Jack could comment on her little speech, Sakura turned and eyed
him levelly.  "And if the new boss is acting like this, then it's time for a
new focal point.  Spirit of Shotokan is gone.  But... if Shingo is
willing... I trust you to make a new one, Jack."

	Twin sighs of relief could be heard from Jack and Daisuke, with a
fainter one echoed by Shingo.  "Sure, Sakura.  I was hoping you'd join.  I
was gonna say yes, but having you here makes it even better," Shingo smiled.

	Jack jumped to his feet, then acked as Nuku Nuku's arms nearly choked
him.  "Arms, arms!"  Deep breath.  "Much better.  Well, kiddos, let me tell
you that you've made the right decision.  I'll just be stepping out for a
bit, but Dai here can clue you in on what we've discussed.  Be sure to tell
them the name!"

	As Jack led Nuku Nuku out of the room, Shingo and Sakura turned to
Daisuke.  "Jack's already picked a name?"

	A slow, put-upon nod was their answer.  "Jack's already picked a name."

	Shingo looked over to Sakura and slowly smiled.  "I think we're in a lot
of trouble, Sakura."

	She smiled.  "Probably so."
		
			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Dan rolled out of a portal, stood up and flexed his mighty forearm. "I
am [DAN]!" he shouted.  He balled up and rolled to his left.  He stood up,
flexed his forearm again and announced, "I am [MIGHTY]!"  He rolled to the
right and taunted, "[THOUSANDS] have been [TAUNTED] by me!"  Another roll,
and then, "I'm your [DADDY!]"  One more roll, and "[OYAJIII]-iiieeee!"

	The mighty Dan tripped over a small bush and landed on his legendary
face.

	"Oooh," he whined.  "Now my face and throat are sore."  He picked
himself up, crying manly tears.  He shook himself off and began to study the
terrain.

	As he was inspecting the shrubbery around, Darshu stepped out of a
similar portal and looked around disinterestedly.  "Nice little place here. 
Pity it'll be all blown up."

	"...oro?"

	The silver-haired bishounen crossed his arms and snorted at the confused
Shotokaner.  "You do know what happens in this fight, right?  No?  Actually,
that doesn't surprise me.  20 minutes after we start, this whole place is
scheduled to go boom."

	"So one of you has to knock the other out or find an escape portal by
then," a third voice offered.  Darshu and Dan turned to see Krillin twisting
on the helmet of a space suit.  "Hey, I just want to be prepared."

	Dan's eyes had been growing progressively wider as he realized he was
standing on ground that wouldn't be there much longer, but he forced down
his unease and chalked the feeling up to the cafeteria hot dogs.  "Well,
then, you had better be prepared for the mightiness that is DAN to run away
first!"

	Dark Schneider simply smirked as Dan realized that hadn't quite come out
right.

	Krillin swallowed nervously and looked at his watch.  "Three... two...
one.... FIGHT!"

	And then Krillin got the heck outta there.

][ SPECIAL OMEGA-STYLE JAPANESE DEATHMATCH
][ T.G.L.S.C.  DAN HIBIKI vs.  DARK SCHNEIDER
][ FIGHT!

	Darshu smirked.  Dan rolling forward, doing one of his taunts, giving
the audience just what they wanted.  He knew it was coming, which is why
he'd prepared a spell as soon as the silly little man pretending to control
them had left.  "Rumbling steel explosive bullets... ANSEM!"

	The energy missiles exploded in a flash of white -- and pink -- light. 
Darshu smiled, cocking his head to one side.  It was nice to be handed such
an easy opponent.

	"Ha!  Your attacks are far too puny to defeat a semi-godlike but one
hundred percent manly warrior like myself!"  Dan grinned as he dusted off
his slightly singed gi.  "Your time spent off the battlefield has weakened
you, for you are slow and weak!"

	Darshu just rolled his eyes and flickered a Raven spell into existence.
Hovering over the ground for a moment, he smiled a challenging smirk towards
Dan, then took off towards the horizon.  A moment later, Dan was chasing
him, a streak of holy taunting MANLY pink light.  Krillin chased after them
but kept a safe distance.  These Omega fighters were a little loony.

	Having rocketed a few miles from their starting position, Darshu touched
lightly down and checked the time.  Three minutes had already passed in his
travels, which was all the better for him.  

	But it didn't do Darshu any good at all when Dan landed on his skull
with both feet.

	"Behold!  The Dan Dan Naga-Esque Stomp, complete with laugh!  OH, HO HO
HO HO HO HO HOYAJIIIIIIIIIII!" Dan hollered.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Hiroshi blinked.  "He's..." he gasped.  "Using the... taunts of other
fighters.  That's rather..."

	"Rather stupid." Tarou shrugged.  "But what do you expect from Pinky and
his brain?"

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"...ow," Darshu muttered as he sank to the ground, Dan still standing on
his head.  To make matters worse, Dan rolled off of Darshu, causing the
warlock a few bumps and bruises.

	And yet, Darshu smiled.  He knew something that Dan didn't.  He knew a
lot of things that Dan didn't.

	Dan looked down in confusion at his fallen opponent.  Krillin moved in
for a closer look.  "He looks like he's down," Krillin noted.

	Dan nodded, smiling.  "The mighty feet of Dan were too much for him!" he
announced.

	"Well, Dan," Krillin stated.  "I guess that you're..."
	
	"MEGADETH!"

	The explosion that followed had two significant effects that were
beneficial to Darshu.  First, it caught Dan unaware at point-blank range. 
And second, it opened up the ground, allowing him to slip through the
opening and head to the nearest exit port.  It would take him ten minutes to
get there, but he was convinced that there was no way that Dan could find a
way out on his own.

	Darshu allowed maniacal laughter to escape his body and echo throughout
the underground tunnels.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Sixteen minutes before detonation, Dan took a point-blank Megadeth
blast.

	Twelve minutes before detonation, he decided that, instead of lying on
his back and musing about how injured he was, he should get up and get out
of there.

	He shakily got to his feet.  There was no sign of Darshu or Krillin.
There was, however, a group of red-skinned humanoids standing around him.

	"Um... oosha?" he asked.

	One of the aliens, a female that had silver hair and held a child in her
arms, grabbed Dan's gi.  "Please!  You must save us!"

	"Huh?" Dan asked.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"MY GOD!" Hiroshi shouted.  "That planet is inhabited!  Innocents will
be killed!"

	"Eh," Tarou commented.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Ten minutes before detonation...

	"Let me get this straight.  This planet's core is going to go 'Boom?'"

	The silver-haired mother explained, "Our scientists have discovered the
core is unstable.  They tried to find a way to neutralize the excess energy
and balance it, but they were unable."

	Dan slammed his right fist into his left palm.  He then shook his left
palm, mouthing, "Owwie!".  "Then it's settled!" he announced a moment later.
 "I, the mighty Dan, shall take you and your family to safety!"

	The silver-haired mother shook her head.  "I can't leave my family and
civilization behind to die!" she wailed.

	Dan gulped.  "How many of you are there?"

	"6,000."

	Dan facefaulted.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Nine minutes before detonation...

	Darshu flew through the tunnels.  It wouldn't be long before he found
the exit.  There'd be no worries.  There'd be no problems.

	There was a humongous, throbbing sphere of energy right before him.

	"Well, shit," he cursed.  "I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Eight minutes before detonation...

	The silver-haired mother tried to hold Dan back.  "Stop!" she pleaded. 
"Your plan is suicide!"

	Dan shook his head and flexed his forearm at the silver-haired mother.
"Wrong!" Dan shouted.  "The mighty Dan doesn't know the meaning of the word,
'suicide!'  Nor does he know the meaning of the word, 'dodecahedron,' but
that's beside the point!  The point is that no mere exploding planet is
enough to stop the mighty Dan!  For I hold a pure spirit, a clean mind, and
nifty, godlike powers!"

	The aliens watched, dewey-eyed with admiration, as Dan leapt high into
the air, falling towards an open fissure.  He pointed his body downwards,
face-first, as he fell back to the planet's surface...

	...and landed, face-first, right next to the fissure.

	The aliens facefaulted.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Five minutes before detonation...

	Darshu ended up back at the planet's core for the fourth time.  No
matter what tunnels he tried, he ended up back at the center.

	"It would seem that Nabiki's map wasn't worth the paper on which it was
written.  Bitch," he bitterly thought to himself.  A burst of energy
startled him out of his thoughts.  He turned to see the core pulsating and
discharging energy chaotically.
	
	"I need to get out of here!" Darshu thought to himself.

	It was then that he heard a familiar echo: "OYAJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

	Darshu grinned predatorily.  He didn't have to worry about escape.  All
he had to do was trash Dan, and a portal would whisk him away to safety. 
And if he were really lucky, Dan would be left behind to get a ringside seat
to a planet's death.
	
	Dan landed (on his feet, for a change) on the opposite side of the
planetary core as Darshu had.  "Right!" he hollered.  "I have found the
planetary core that threatens its inhabitants with destruction!"  He rolled
up his sleeves.

	"...so what am I supposed to do now?" he asked no one in particular.

	"FALL!" Darshu screamed.  "GUNS'N'RO!"

	Dan let out a shriek and leapt away from the flames.  Darshu pressed his
attack, raining projectiles of fire and lightning upon Dan.

	"Stop!" Dan protested.  "I need to prevent the planet from blowing up!"

	Darshu hollered, "No you don't, you idiot!  All you had to do was run
for the hills or beat me.  It's too late for the first, and you aren't doing
the second!  HALLOWEEN!"

	The blast did not strike Dan.

	It struck the planet's core.

	The planet's core began to fill the entire chamber.  Both Darshu and Dan
were tossed violently against the chamber's walls.

	"It's going to blow!" Dan shouted.

	Darshu leapt at Dan like a feral beast.  "DIE!" he shouted, trying to
choke Dan into unconsciousness... well, death, really.  It didn't matter as
long as the twerp was down for the count.

	Dan paid more attention to the core than he did to Darshu.  What was it
that the aliens told him?  Think, Dan!  Think with all the power of your
mighty and especially dense brain matter!

	"Dan, if you keep touching that, it will fall off." No, that wasn't it.

	"Dan, you're not supposed to swallow that." That wasn't it, either.

	"Dan, they tried to find a way to neutralize the excess energy and
balance it, but they were unable." That was it.  Neutralize and balance. 
But how?

	"I GOT IT!" Dan shouted, despite Darshu's attempts to crush his
windpipe.

	Dan stood up, glowing with a Sayajin-class pink aura which sent Darshu
reeling back in pain.  Dan glared at the core, knelt down, and leapt into
it.  Right before impact, he shouted, "DAN DAN MIGHTY MEGA GADO-CANNON!"

	Darshu watched as Dan disappeared into the core.  "Idiot," he said to
himself.  "He just killed himself."  A portal appeared behind him, taking
him away.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	The Ultradome was deathly silent.  Many, including Hiroshi, were on the
verge of tears.

	"He... he can't be... can't be... is he?" he asked.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Twenty seconds before detonation...

	The core started to bounce around like a pinball in the chamber.  Just
as it looked like it was going to swell and expand, another shout was heard.

	"[DAN]!  [DAN]!  [UNBEATABLE]!  [UNDENIABLE]!  [OMNIKORYUKEN]!"

	A giant stream of pink energy shot out from the core, weaved through the
crevices and underground tunnels, rushed past the planet's surface and
jetted into space.  The pulse of energy lasted for an entire minute before
it waned and dissipated.

	Twenty seconds after the burst, the planet's core stabilized.

	Forty seconds after the burst, Dan touched down on the planet's surface.
His gi was practically burned off, and most of him was covered with burns
and scars.  However, he flexed his forearm at the aliens, smiled, and
shouted, "OYAJIIIIIIIII!" so loudly, it echoed throughout the Ultradome back
on Earth.

	"You... you... you saved us!" the silver-haired mother wept with joy. 
She and the other nearby aliens embraced Dan and showered him with praise.

	"Aw, shucks," Dan grinned.  "It was nothing for one as mighty as I!"

	Both he and the aliens shouted, "OYAJIIIIII!" at the same time.

	As the portal opened to retrieve him, the aliens swore that he would be
remembered for all time as "The Pink-Clad Warrior Who Saved Us From Certain
Destruction."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	The Ultradome was awash in cheers of joy.

	"He's alive!" Hiroshi shouted.  "Legendary Taunting Godhead Legend Dan
Hibiki is alive!   Legendary Taunting Godhead Legend Dan Hibiki!  He's
alive!  And he's a goddamn hero!"

	Tarou sighed, unimpressed.  "He's a lunatic."

	"He's a loser."

	"WHAT THE-?!?" Hiroshi demanded.

	Nabiki and Darshu walked down the ramp, her carrying a microphone, him
an air of insufferable arrogance.  "It's quite simple, Roash.  Dan
disqualified himself for illegal interference."

	The audience booed.

	Hiroshi started, "But he s-"

	Tarou grabbed Hiroshi by the neck.  "She isn't done speaking yet."

	"...okay," Hiroshi eked out.

	Nabiki explained, "That planet was supposed to explode.  It acted as a
clock for the matchup.  Since he prevented the planet from exploding, he
tampered with the clock."

	"And even if that weren't the case," Darshu added.  "I got out of there
first fair and square." 

	"Therefore," Nabiki concluded.  "Darshu is the official winner of this
match."

	The audience booed.  Hiroshi would have done the same if it weren't for
Tarou glaring challengingly at him.  As was, he just squirmed in his seat,
muttered something about Daisuke and senses of humor, and sighed.

	"OOSHA!"

	The crowd cheered again.  All eyes focused under the UltraTron where a
still-smoldering and almost-naked Dan stood.

	"So!" Dan shouted.  "You wish to demean and belittle the mighty Dan by
acquiring a victory by illicit means, do you?"

	Nabiki and Darshu scowled at Dan.  "What are you going to do, you
pansy?" Darshu mocked.  "Flex your forearm at us and shout?"

	Dan grinned.  "No!  You two aren't worthy of my godlike forearm!"  He
turned around, pulled down what remained of his pants, and bent over.
"DOOSHTA DOOSHTA!" he shouted.  The crowd erupted in shouts and laughter.

	Nabiki folded her arms and sighed.  Darshu rushed towards Dan and
applied a firm boot to Dan's exposed fanny.

	"And Dan once again gives his fans reasons to love him!  And at the
expense of Dark Schneider, even... and he was so close to pulling off his
whole cool guy routine, too."

	"Actually, Hiroshi, Dan just acted like an idiot, where Darshu dominated
him in every way.  If the fans cheer for dumb luck -- with an emphasis on
the dumb -- then they're as stupid as pink boy.  Darshu had that fight, and
I think we all know that was really a victory for him, no matter what these
sheep in the Dome might think."

	Hiroshi stared at Tarou, who'd said his whole speech without a hint of
sarcasm.  "What is WITH you, Tarou?  It's Dan!  You gotta cheer for Dan!" 
He waited for a response, got none, and sighed.  "Stay with us folks, we'll
be right back with more Ultra action.  And now, a word from our sponsors...
these guys again? I wonder how much money they gave the boss..."

	"..."

	"Ms. Tendou!  How much they gave Ms. Tendou!" *sigh*

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

[Commercial: Cut to Cloud sitting on the throne of Hell]

CLOUD: Hell.  Home of every misery known to man, and infinitely more pain
than even that.  Lakes of fire.  Daily disembowelments.  Grinding of bones.
Perversions and violations that would make even the bravest men cower in
fear.

[An aluminum can flies into Cloud's open hand.  On it is a picture of Lina
inside a red circle with a slash through it.]

CLOUD: And the best tea in the whole universe.

[Cut to an announcer in a plaid tuxedo being stretched out on a rack]

ANCR.: Yes!  It's Goddamn Tea!  He may be the Lord of All That Is Evil, but
he can make a brew that's so tasty, it's a sin!  And it's just one calorie!

[Cut to a suburban dining-room table.  Hastur and Dug Fin sit at it, dressed
like little schoolgirls.  Cid Highwind walks in, wearing a blue dress and a
white apron.]

HAST: Mom!  I'm thirsty!

[Cid slams down two aluminum cans on the table.]

CID: Sit down, shut up, and drink your Goddamn Tea!

[Cut back to the announcer.]

ANCR: Yes!  It's Goddamn Tea, the best tea you'll ever taste in your short,
miserable, futile lives!  So rush down to your local grocery store and buy
some today!

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"Try it now."

	*clank*

	A heavy sigh came from inside Washuu's laboratory as Gally watched her
leg fall off.  "How many times is it going to do that, anyways?"

	Dr. Light smiled kindly at her and retrieved the fallen limb.  With a
screwdriver in one hand and a... something in the other, he went back to
work on getting Gally to tip-top shape.  "Don't you worry.  I won't leave
you two here without a chance to defend yourselves, not after you were such
good friends to Megaman."

	Glancing over her shoulder, Gally saw Ifurita -- looking good as new,
and not at all like she'd taken a header into the Rocky Mountains the week
before -- tending to Washuu, and frowned.  "Good friends..." she muttered,
watching her friend and caretaker smile up at Ifurita with all the mental
clarity of an avocado.

	"Don't blame yourself for that.  I reviewed the match, there was nothing
you could've done.  There, that should do it. Feeling better?"

	Gally flexed her arms, did a few squats, then executed a light kata.
After a moment, she nodded.  "Much better, thanks."

	Light set down a metal sphere in one corner of the lab. "I'm going to
leave a repair droid here, just in case you have any more problems while
Washuu is... err... incapacitated."  As the scientist packed a box of gear
onto a hoversled and prepared to leave, there was a knock at the door which
led from the lab to the Ultradome.

	"Excuse me," a voice called out. "Dr. Light?"

	Light looked to the door, which had opened to reveal a young girl with a
broad, hardened hairstyle, dressed in magenta coveralls.  "Yes? May I help
you?"

	The girl bowed.  "My name is Tron... I was wondering if I could go with
you... to make sure Megaman is alright."

	"Ah, Tron... I believe Megaman has spoken of you," Light said, nodding. 
"Yes, I suppose it would be alright for you to pay a visit."

	"Actually," Tron said, kicking at the floor with her toe, "I was
thinking something a bit longer than a visit. I'm really handy around a lab,
you know..."

	Gally raised an eyebrow. "Leaving your job with Ultra?" she asked.

	Tron sighed.  "Fired," she said.  "The new boss claims she doesn't need
me anymore, with that panty guy around."

	"That's too bad," Gally said, nodding.  "But not unexpected."

	"Well... I could always use an extra pair of hands around the lab,"
Light said at length.  "Sure, welcome aboard."

	Tron literally jumped for joy.  "Hooray!"  Turning around, she called
out, "Come on, gang! We're moving on!"

	"ROOOOGEEEEEER!" a chorus of shrill voices rang out, as a small army of
short robots bearing a resemblance to Lego men marched through the door and
into the portal to Dr. Light's lab.  Tron followed them, with a
sweatdropping Light right behind her.  The portal closed with an almost
tangible finality.

	*Goodbye, guys,* Gally thought. *It was nice knowing you.*  

	The moment hung heavily for a long second, then Gally turned to Ifurita.
 "I suppose we start making plans now."

	"Better change whatever ones you've already made, babe, because a new
variable has just entered all your little Cybergrrlie equations."

	The two 'women' turned to the main door of the lab to see a pair of
unexpected figures standing there.  "You no longer work here," Ifurita noted
in a tone that almost -- almost -- belied confusion.

	Jack grinned and shrugged.  "You can't keep me down, you should know
that.  You'll be seeing me around the Dome, don't worry." He paused and
swallowed, suddenly looking rather uncomfortable.  "I was sorta hoping that
Blue Boy's departure would have left room for someone."

	Gally blinked, and looked over to Jack's companion.  "Her?"

	After a few hesitant steps towards Gally and Ifurita, Nuku Nuku waved
hesitantly.  "Hi, Jack-san said you could use some help."

	"I said no such thing.  I just can't pay her, and if she doesn't have a
job somewhere else, she'll be hanging around me all the time."  He shrugged.
 "Look, if you don't want a nice, helpful girl like her on your team, no
skin off my nose.  I mean, I could care less what happens to her."

	Nuku Nuku turned to look curiously at Jack, but he'd apparently found
the floor rather interesting to study.  The android smiled.  "Thank you,
Jack-san."

	"Yeah, whatever.  I gotta group to manage, you know, can't stand around
here and shoot the breeze with rejects from a James Cameron flick.  Go
polish up your circuits real nice or something.  I gotta go."

	Watching as Jack made his hasty exit, Nuku Nuku then turned to Gally and
Ifurita, face hopeful.  Gally stood motionless for a moment, then gave a
helpless shrug.  "Welcome aboard."

	Nuku Nuku smiled.  "Thanks!"

	"I have to go take care of something, but Ifurita can give you a tour of
the lab."  Waving, Gally walked out, leaving the enthusiastic newcomer in
Ifurita's patient hands.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	It was loud.  Not that the Ultradome wasn't always loud, but now it was
Real Loud(tm), for the Samurai were in the house.  Haohmaru and Kunou
strutted down the ramp to some, yes, loud music accompanied by loud pyro
flares.  The audience mostly favored them with boos, but there was some
scattered cheering.  

	The two took their place in the ring, and simply waited.  They weren't
here to showboat, they were here to win a title.  Kunou and Haohmaru looked
at each other, nodded, and turned to face where their opponents would soon
be.

	The Ultradome was still loud.  But in the space of a second, the
Ultradome was no longer lit.  The dark hung over the buzzing spectators,
broken only by Hiroshi's voice.

	"Here they are, folks..."

	Music began to pump over the speakers and the cheers of the crowd
swelled to match.

	"Your Lambda champions..."

	Two blinding spotlights targeted a wall of the arena, matching red Rs
each ten feet tall in the center of the white circles.

	"TEEEEEEEEEAM ROOOOOOOCKET!"

	There was a pause, barely half a second, but you could hear the audience
holding their collective breaths.  Until came the words...

	"Prepare for TROUBLE!"
	"And make it DOUBLE!"

	In a flash of pyrotechnics, the two spotlights vanished and reappeared,
the giant Rs replaced by a powerposing Jessie and James.  The crowd went
berserk.  The two fighters looked at each other in wonderment, not sure
whether to laugh or cry at the entrance they were finally able to make. 
Swallowing hard, they managed to continue with their speech.

	"To protect the world from devastation!"
	"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

	The crowd was filled with fans waving signs covered with Rs and rockets,
bellowing the speech along with the two teens.  Ringside, one male fan
disturbingly dressed like Pikachu waved a poster saying "Capture me,
Jessie!"

	"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
	"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
	"JESSIE!"
	"JAMES!"

	Hiroshi took a sip of water from his Arbok and Weezing-decorated sports
bottle, adjusted his red and white watch, and then proceeded to cheer
markishly.  Tarou looked at him and rolled his eyes.

	"Team Rocket, BLAST OFF at the speed of light!"
	"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

	The third member's absence when unnoticed by the audience as they
finished in a single voice, "Me-owth!  That's right!"  That tradition taken
care of, it was time for the two to go ringside.

	'Double Trouble' blared over the arena speakers.  Jessie and James got
more cheering with each triumphant step they took down the ramp.  Their twin
smiles got progressively bigger until that you could see that, despite Team
Rocket as a whole being a shady criminal organization with no respect for
the world's workings, they apparently offered dental.

	And the Samurai?  The Samurai just looked disgusted.  "THE GREAT AND
LEGENDARY SWORDSMAN HAOHMARU HAS NO TOLERANCE FOR SUCH FOOLISHNESS AND
INDULGENCE.  LET US BEGIN THIS FIGHT SO THAT MY PUPIL AND I MAY TAKE OUR
RIGHTFUL PLACE AS LEAGUE CHAMPIONS."

	Kunou nodded at his sensei, who'd stepped out of the ring.  "Indeed! 
For although I have realized that I have much to learn, both in skill and
volume, before I attain your level, I do know that we are much more worthy
of the title than these two!  Indeed, their foolish luck shall not hold out
long, for we shall prevail!  ENLIGHTENMENT!"

	"ENLIGHTENMENT!"

	James laughed arrogantly as he eyed the Samurai.  "Oh, you think so? 
Well, Jessie and I will show you that we're no one-trick Ponyta!"

	Jessie smirked as she took her place in the ring.  "You don't have a
Chansey of taking our belt!"

	"So Rhydon out of here before you regret it!"

	"After last week's win, sending you two packing should be Eevee!"

	"Make the hurting stop, Mommy," Hiroshi whimpered.

	Kunou glared at Jessie and leveled his bokken at her.  "If you wish to
challenge me, woman, know that I will strike at you in any way that I can. 
For although I do not wish to strike down such a lovely example of womanhood
such as yourself, I must honor my sensei's teachings by treating you as I
would a man.  Defend yourself!"

	"Oh, but couldn't a big tough man like you let me go first?"

	He paused and smiled. "Well, I suppose the great and magnaminous scion
of the House Kunou could grant such a request.  Proceed."  Stepping back, he
waited for Jessie to begin.

][ LAMBDA CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
][ TEAM ROCKET  vs.  THE SAMURAI
][ FIGHT!

	The redhead smiled graciously at Kunou as she retrieved a pokeball. 
"Well, it's nice to see some men still know how to treat a woman."  She
winked.  "Don't worry.  I know how to treat you, too."

	"Oh, stop gagging, Tarou.  They're supposed to taunt each other in the
ring."

	"Couldn't she get better lines?!"

	Jessie reached back and hurled the red-and-white sphere at the cocky
teen before her.  "VICTREEBEL, GO!"  The plant pokemon appeared and
instantly turned around, halting in apparent surprise when its usual trainer
failed to stand there.  

	Before Kunou could react, Jessie pointed at him and yelled, "Stun spore
attack!  Now!"

	Having nothing better to do -- since it looked like its typical entrance
of chowing down on James' head wouldn't be happening -- Victreebel turned to
Kunou and prepared to launch the millions of tiny particles.  Just before it
did, though, the voice it expected to hear called it from the side of the
ring.  Victreebel turned, saw James, and promptly launched its Stun Spores
directly at him, catching Jessie in the process.

	Tarou facepalmed.  "I don't believe it.  I do not freaking believe it. 
THESE are the kind of people who are division CHAMPIONS?  People who knock
themselves out before their opponents even try anything?  Shermie and
Yashiro must suck even more than I thought to lose to these morons."

	"These morons seem to have thought to bring gas masks," Hiroshi mused.

	Kunou stared at Jessie as she waved away the cloud and tossed her mask
outside the ring.  "May I ask what exactly you hoped to accomplish with
that?"

	She winked at him and answered, "A girl's gotta have her secrets!  Now,
just wait while Team Rocket prepares to... um."  She paused, looked Kunou
over, and frowned.  "Well... here goes nothing!"

	Kunou reverted to his defensive stance, but stared in confusion as
Jessie rushed him, looking for all the world like she simply intended to
bowl him over.  "What are you planning, wom-  Aha.  I see that my manly
charisma has won your heart.  Indeed, it is a rare woman that can resist my
charms."

	Hiroshi stared.  "Is... Jessie feeling up Kunou?!"

	The leather-clad hand of the pokemon poacher had darted over to the bare
chest revealed by Kunou's kendo outfit, trailing up and down it.  Jessie
smiled winningly at Kunou as she worked, then stepped away and flashed a
flirtatious smile.  "I hate to stay too long in the ring -- it's unbecoming
for a girl to get all hot and sweaty.  Do you mind if my partner comes in?"

	"How could I refuse such a request?  Perhaps you could repay my favor by
accompanying me to dinner later?"

	As Jessie smiled, Tarou clunked his head onto the table and muttered
something about how he hadn't been hired to announce the damn Dating Game. 
Luckily for him, James had stepped in, attempted to reach Kunou, and
summarily been tossed to the mat, so Tarou's job got much easier.

	"...ow," James whimpered as he got up. 

	Kunou smirked as he eyed his opponent.  "Know that I have no qualms
about defeating you, James of Team Rocket.  Despite your partner's feelings
for me, she will realize that my attacking you reflects only on my wishes to
take my rightful place as champion of this division. Indeed, I-"

	*SLAP*

	James shook his hand after his 'attack,' wincing.  Kunou stared at him,
and then moved a disbelieving hand up to check his face.  "Did you just...
SLAP the scion of House Kunou?"

	James did indeed seem to have done just that, and he proceeded to repeat
the action several more times.  Kunou just stared at him, dumbstruck, as he
took the blows.  "Enough is enough!  I will put up no longer with your
foolishness!"

	Hiroshi ignored Kunou's proclamation, and instead began to announce in
his own trademark way.  "Team Rocket seems to have taken their recent
championship to heart, because they're fighting with a lot more spirit than
we've seen out of them in, uh, ever!  Jessie has made her first appearance
in the ring in quite some time -- short and bizarre though it may have been
-- and James isn't turning into a little uniform-wearing punching bag, so
it's all good!" he cheered, then winced as Kunou threw James against the
ropes, knocking his head soundly against the mat.  "Okay, so I spoke too
soon."

	Hooking one arm around the rope behind him, James blinked furiously,
trying to get his vision back in focus.  He let out a startled yelp as sharp
pointy wooden hurting came speeding at him, and quickly rolled to one side. 
Kunou began chasing him around the ring, swinging wildly.

	What Kunou hadn't counted on was Team Rocket's finely honed sense of
self-preservation.  He chased the poacher around the ring, his every strike
and swing matched by a duck and swerve.  Soon, a sheen of sweat covered
Kunou's face and chest, and his breath was beginning to come in short pants.
This was... ridiculous.

	James' situation wasn't much better.  The samurai was slowing some, but
James was still forced to dodge strike after strike.  He paused as he felt a
slight tingling on his arms, eyes widening.  Turning to the ropes, he
yelled, "Jessie!  It's coming through!"

	"Then come tag me!"

	"I'll be right-eek."  James' eyes nearly crossed as he stared at the
sword that was leveled right at his nose.  He swallowed as Kunou readied for
a strike that would -- wooden blade or not -- cause no small amount of pain.
He just needed one second to get away.  He needed a distraction.  

	By pure dumb luck -- and flashbacks to last week's beatings in the ring
-- one came to mind.  James grinned and glared dangerously at Kunou (as much
as it was possible to when said glare was topped by a head of professionally
layered hair the color of an Easter egg).  His fist was balled, his jaw was
set... and he then reached out and shook his less-than-meaty forearm at the
blinking samurai.  "OOSHA!"

	"Oh good God in heaven, James is acting like Dan," gagged Tarou.

	Kunou blinked at the display for a moment, than frowned and and raised
his sword.  "Do not think that by such a foolish display you will distract
Tatewaki Kunou, the great and masterful swordsman who... is watching you
roll across the mat and... tag your partner.  Uhhh... the great and talented
Kunou is beginning to feel a bit queasy.  Perhaps I shall... turn this over
to my wise and masterful teacher. En...light...en...m-"  

	Stumbling across the ring towards Haohmaru, Kunou suddenly toppled to
the ground as Jessie threw herself at his ankles and locked her grip.  Her
lack of strength should have made it easy to escape the grasp, but Kunou,
for some reason, didn't.

	"WHAT is going on here, folks?  Kunou's looking to be in bad shape, but
it can't be from those hits James was giving him.  If he could only get a
few feet closer to the edge of the mat, he could tag out... so why isn't
he?"

	The audience buzzed uncertainly at the actions in the ring, furthered by
Hiroshi's musing.  It was during all of this that Tarou happened to notice
something.  He peered at James, who was busy scrubbing at his uniform with a
dampened rag.  He looked back at Kunou, then back at James.  "...I have to
give it to them, Team Rocket did something right."

	Hiroshi peered at him curiously.  Tarou jerked a thumb towards James and
explained, "They covered those leisure suits of theirs in glue.  Every time
a hit landed, they were applying the stun spores that the weed sprayed on
'em.  Rich Boy and Old Guy even watched 'em set it up."

	"...And a STUNNING strategy by Team Rocket may give them the win,
folks!"  Hiroshi plowed on, blissfully ignoring the groans from many. 
"They've managed to figure out a way to compensate for the Samurai's greater
strength, speed, skill, and, um, everything while STILL fighting fair and
taking on the gamble of a risky tactic!  How do you like that, folks?"

	The wave of cheers that had replaced the unsure buzzing indicated that
they liked it very much indeed, thank you.

	 Jessie flashed a brilliant smile at the prostrate Kendoist as he
squirmed futilely in her grasp, the referee leaning close to check Kunou's
situation.  James cheered his partner on from outside the ring.  And
Haohmaru... was sneaking up behind James, sword raised.

	"ACK!  James, turn around! Turn around!" Hiroshi yelled, waving his
notes to try and grab the teen's attention.

	"Huh?" James asked, looking over to Hiroshi with mingled confusion and
surprise.

	Haohmaru smiled as he prepared to bring down his sword on James.  Once
he was taken out of commission, it would be easy to double-team that partner
of his, that foolish woman, and take the belt.  All he had to do now was...
turn around and see who had tapped him on the shoulder?

	The samurai turned only to be met with the scowling face of one
trunks-wearing, scar-bearing, royally pissed-off Sagat.  "You screwed with
our shot at getting the title, you get the same courtesy," the Buster
growled. 

	Five seconds, twelve punches, and three knee strikes later, Haohmaru was
little more than a little ball of loud-mouthed pain on the floor.  Sagat
smirked at James, who'd pressed himself up against the ropes in hopes of
avoiding similar scary pain.  "Remember, kid.  Don't mess with Bison's
Busters.  Tell all your friends."

	"Ouch," winced Hiroshi.  "OUCH.  Well, Haohmaru will think twice about
messing with them again.  And...she's got him!  She's got him!"

	The she in question was of course Jessie, and the him was Kunou.  Jessie
had managed to flip Kunou over onto his back and shove his shoulders against
the mat; she'd accomplished this feat by sitting on the kendoist's chest. 
The referee was calmly counting down, James was cheering from the sidelines,
Jessie was beaming at the fans... and Kunou was looking a whole lot less
displeased than he should.

	"...two...one.  Team Rocket wins."

	Leaving behind Haohmaru, James rushed into the ring and swept Jessie
into a victory hug as the cheers of the audience swelled.  "We did it! 
We're still champions!  Team Rocket is number one!"

 	She flashed a haughty glance at him.  "'We?' I don't recall you being
in the ring when the bell sounded, James."

	He stared at her, hurt.  "Jessie..."

	Leaning over, Jessie muttered under her breath, "You're not planning to
act like that pink man again, are you?"

	"Oh, heavens no."

	An amused smile was James' reply, and he slowly returned the expression.
Grabbing his hand, Jessie raised it up in a victory pose, smiling at the
fans as they cheered.  As the noise swelled over them, she turned and
shrugged.  "Just checking."

	Behind them, Kunou tried in vain to lift his head, a goofy grin on his
face.  "It was a battle well fought."

	As the champions left and the defeated were carried out, Hiroshi turned
to his mic.  "Wasn't that great, folks?  ...are you laughing at Team Rocket
or the Samurai, Tarou?"

	"Damn, do I really have to pick?"

	"Now, let's hear from... not again.  Can't we get the scary Old Navy
lady or something?"

	"You questioning Ms. Tendou's business decisions?"

	"No, no no!  I'll just sit down, shut up, and drink my... hey, these
commercials do work."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

[Commercial: A computer lab.  A young man stands between two fully assembled
PCs.]

BOY:	Hi.  My name is Cal.

[Cut to an announcer in a plaid tuxedo.]

ANCR.: Hi, Cal!

[Cut back to Cal.  He motions to the computer on the viewer's left.]

CAL:	This computer has a 166 megahertz processor.

[Cal turns the computer on.  It boots up slowly, and plays "Doom" in slow
motion.  He then motions to the computer on the viewer's right.]

CAL:	This computer is hooked up to a cup of Goddamn Tea.

[Cal turns the computer on.  What follows is best described as "sensory
overload" as images, games, text files and more whiz by in the blink of an
eye. An aluminum can flies into Cal's open hand.  It has a picture of Lina
inside a red circle with a slash through it.]

CAL: Thank you, Goddamn Tea!

[Cut to the announcer.]

ANCR.: That's right!  With a hearty dosage of Goddamn Tea, you'll be so
energized, it'll feel decadent!  So rush to the supermarket and buy the
drink that the angels are too much of pansies to drink!  After all, it's
just one calorie!

[Cut to a suburban dining room.  Aika and Becky sit at the table.  Cid
Highwind walks in, wearing a blue dress and white apron.]

BECKY: I'm thirsty, Mommy!

[Cid slams down two aluminum cans on the table.]

CID: Sit down, shut up, and drink your Goddamn Tea!

[Cut back to the announcer.]

ANCR.: Yes!  Drink your overwhelming problems away before they engulf you
like the miserable vermin you are!  Ask for Goddamn Tea by name!

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Ash Ketchum looked over at Misty.  "Did someone just knock at the door?"

	She peered at him over the rim of her drink and nodded, then went back
to reading her magazine. 

	The young Pokemon trainer hopped to his feet and padded over to the door
of the pair's dressing room.  (Not that it'd seen much use for anything but
a place to watch the show in for the past few weeks...)  Opening the door,
he looked up at the figure standing there.  "Hi?"

	Gally smiled down at him and answered, "Hiusdgsgijbnb... jhss."  With an
exasperated look on her face, the cyborg smacked the side of her throat with
her hand.  "Testin- alright, there.  Sorry, I'm just coming across the 
occasional bug now and again.  I should have them all fixed soon."

	Ash just stared up at her, wide-eyed.  Finally he squeaked out, "Can I
help you?"

	"I hope so."  Gally dropped to her knees, her small figure now shorter
than Ash's.  She looked up at him and asked, "Do you know anything about
Mewtwo?"  As Ash paled, she frowned.  "So you do?"

	"I... yeah, I do.  Why do you want to know?"

	"He really hurt a friend of mine last week.  And in the weeks before
that, he hurt me and two more of my friends.  I don't care about myself so
much, and my other friends will be alright... but he has to fix what he did
last week."  Gally sighed.  "And I don't know where to start.  But I
thought... I thought maybe I could ask you, Ash."

	Shaking his head, Ash stepped back into the room.  "Sorry, I don't know
what I can do.  I mean, he's in a different division, right?  Misty and I
can't fight him."

	Undeterred, Gally followed him in.  "I'm not asking you to fight him, I
just want to know if you know anything about Mewtwo.  Don't worry, we've got
the firepower, and we won't stop fighting.  All I was hoping to get from you
was information."

	Ash looked like he was about to say something, then shook his head and
sat down.  "I'm... I'm sorry.  I don't think I can help you."

	With a sigh, Gally turned to leave, only to be stopped by a faint tug on
her overcoat.  She turned to see Misty standing there, a furtive look on her
face.

	"Mewtwo has attacked Ash too," Misty softly related to Gally.  "That's
why he's saying no.  He wouldn't want me telling you.  He's not scared,
but... we'd both be in trouble if Mewtwo got really mad at us."

	Nodding slowly, Gally looked over to Ash.  "I promise that Mewtwo won't
find out that I talked to you, okay?  He won't know.  But... if I just have
a question about him later, can I come and talk to you?"

	Ash looked up at Gally, and slowly nodded, his trademark determination
tempered by memories of Mewtwo's earlier assault.  "I suppose I could answer
some questions.  I mean... if your friend is hurt, I'd feel bad not
helping."

	"Thank you, Ash, Misty."  Flashing the young trainers a smile, Gally
turned and left.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	God was holding a war council.  Agents of Heaven sat or stood around her
office, all eyes focused on the young sorceress-cum-deity.  Lina strode
around purposefully, a sharp look on her face.  "Okay, guys, we gotta talk."
Looking over to Terry, Shinji, and Urd, she continued, "Last week showed us
something.  I know we're stronger, but they still managed to catch us by
surprise.  But when they did, we still held our own.  So what does that
mean?"

	"That we should catch them by surprise instead," Skuld offered without
looking up from her tinkering.

	Lina blinked for a second, then reminded herself that the
young-appearing goddess was a lot older then her herself.  "Exactly.  We may
have lost Aerith -- for now -- but look around.  There's still a lot of us."
Looking over to Gourry and Naga, she smiled.  "And we have friends, too." 
A larger smile threatening to turn her lips up further, she added, "And, of
course, we can't forget Dan."

	Belldandy quietly asked, "Ano, Lina-sama, how will we surprise them?  We
can't look into Hell."

	"Actually, we have an in now.  We have- aw, crap."  Lina glanced over at
the opened letter on her desk and groaned.  She'd completely forgotten about
the meeting with Sephiroth.  "Great.  He's gonna be there any minute now,
and we still have stuff to talk about here."

	Kaoru smiled.  "I could handle it, if you want.  We should take this
chance while we can."

	The young God inspected her servant for a long moment, nibbling on her
lower lip.  "I... do you think you can?  This is Sephiroth, after all, he's
not exactly a stand by his word kinda guy..."

	Checking the letter for the chosen meeting place, Kaoru flashed another
thin smile at Lina.  "No, really, it'll be fine; I can take care of myself. 
And we do need help."

	The truth of his words weighed upon Lina, and she reluctantly nodded. 
"Be careful, okay?  I'll keep an eye on you."

	The albino nodded and stepped through a portal.  As he vanished, a
monitor on the wall flashed to life, showing his situation.  Lina watched it
for a moment to make sure everything seemed okay, then turned back to the
rest of her gathered group.  "Okay, Naga, it's great that you're still
champ.  Really shows all those hell freaks that we're someone not to mess
wi-"

	"OOOOOOOOHOHOHOHO!  But of course I'm still the champion, Lina Inverse! 
For am I not the most powerful, the most talented, and the most beautiful
competitor in all of Ultra?"

	"...right.  I mean, um, of course you are, Naga.  Of course you are." 
Rolling her eyes, Lina looked to the others.  "Guys, we're gonna do fine. 
Really."  She winked.  "Because you have Lina Inverse, dragon slayer, bandit
catcher, and God on your side.  And she always comes out on top."  Grinning,
she hopped up on her desk, crossed her legs, and flashed a cocky glance to
everyone there.  "Now let's get down to business."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"AAAAAAAND we're back!"  Hiroshi enthused as the show returned from
commercials.  "We've got some more Ultra fighting action coming at you, but
first, it looks like there might be a rivalry brewing!  Let's head backstage
to check it out!"

	"How did he DO it?"  Tarou wondered.

	"Do what?"

	"How did Daisuke put up with your ending every damn sentence like you're
announcing who wanted to be a millionaire?"

	"...let's just head backstage, then."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Yashiro stomped down the hall.  Shermie trotted along beside him,
babbling something about recovery and strength and just be happy, okay?  If
she could figure out where her darling Daisuke had gone to, then he could
definitely feel better about this, right?  

	No, because he didn't want to feel better about this.  This was not a
time for happy cheery fluffy joy, this was a time to wallow in the kind of
dark emotions that got school counselors setting up meetings with you. 
Yashiro Nanakaze was pissed off at the world, and especially those two
people... right... there...

	He turned and spat out, "YOU!"

	Jessie and James blanched, and quickly moved to shut the door they'd
come out of.  But Yashiro had already darted behind them and slammed it
closed, his eyes narrowing to cold slits as he inspected the two teens. 
"What the hell do you think you're doing?  That was OUR belt.  That was OUR
title.  And we sure as hell should not have had it stolen from us by some
pussy and his spineless bitch."

	James swallowed hard and replied, "Well, we did win.  But there's no
hard feelings, right?"  He and Jessie took a step back, but Yashiro pressed
on.

	"Oh.  Sure.  No hard feelings.  You're just two kids who'd be flipping
burgers or hell, working a street corner if the world had any f(beep)ing
justice, but no, you STOLE MY F(beep)ING TITLE!  So there's no hard feelings
at all!"  Having made the censoring folks in the control booth earn their
keep, Yashiro then proceeded to make his point a little more clear. 
Reaching out, he grabbed James by the collar of his outer jacket and hoisted
him up over his head.  Yashiro then prepared to turn that girlish little
face into hamburger, but was stopped by Shermie's voice.

	"Yashiro!  Stop!  The boss didn't tell us to get these guys, he said
someone else!  C'mon, let's go find them instead!"

	Disbelief covered Yashiro's face as he turned to look at Shermie.  "Are
you INSANE?  What's wrong with giving these little punks what's coming to
them?  I don't care what that Xelloss freak says, if someone screws with me,
they get screwed with, too!"

	Shermie sighed and turned her mouth down in a pert frown.  James
struggled futilely in Yashiro's grasp as the much larger man brought back
his fist to break every bone in the Rocket's face, starting with his nose. 
He was then stopped by a ringing slap to his cheek.

	"Put James down, you big brute!"  Jessie demanded, stamping her foot.

	"Get lost, bitch."  Yashiro sent her flying into the wall with a wicked
backhand, then turned his attention back to her partner.

	James attempted to twist around to see what Yashiro had done to Jessie,
but to no avail.  "Why... why... you big bully!"

	Said bully smirked and cocked his head to one side, enjoying the feeling
of once again being in control of the situation.  "And what exactly are you
going to do about it, little girl?"

	The little girl promptly kneed Yashiro right on his adorable
heart-shaped choker.  James fell heavily to the ground as Yashiro stumbled
backwards, gasping for air.  As James scrambled backwards towards Jessie,
Yashiro loomed over him, still clutching his throat.  "You're dead," he
wheezed.  "DEAD."

	"Oh, Yashiro, I don't think they're the ones in danger here."

	The silver-haired man drew to a halt as he heard the voice behind him,
and slowly turned to face it.  "I... uh... hello, Xelloss.  What can I do
for you?"

	A wide, closed-eye smile was plastered across the mazoku's face.  "I do
love your courtesy, Yashiro.  Always so polite.  'What can I do for you?'
Well..."  Here Xelloss' voice took on a decidedly more dangerous tone. 
"Perhaps you could start by listening to my requests.  I don't think they're
too outrageous, do you?"

	"I sure don't!"

	As Xelloss turned to smile at Shermie, Yashiro bit back a curse.  She
wasn't helping.  "Well... I was just paying these two back for bringing
disgrace to the Void," he said, choosing his words carefully.

	Xelloss smiled brightly back at him.  "Oh, but I'm not disgraced! 
Cloud's not disgraced, nor is Asuka-chan!  It rather seems to me as if
you're the only two who look the fools here.  And that disappoints me.  I
don't like to be served by fools.  But fools can still serve, so long as
they follow their orders exactly."

	He strode up to Yashiro and continued that same wide smile, but his
crimson eyes were now open and flashing.  "And your orders were to only
focus on our real enemies.  The agents of heaven.  Those who have chosen to
stand against us.  And those who have knowledge about us they shouldn't,
like those two goody-goodies you faced earlier.  And I would not be relying
on my help any longer.  I have no desire to help those who are of no use to
me.  Now.  Have I made myself quite clear?"

	Yashiro clenched his teeth and met Xelloss' gaze.  "You sure have,
boss."

	"Excellent!  Then we shouldn't have any more problems from that ego of
yours, hmm?"  With one more bright smile at Shermie and Yashiro, and then
one for Team Rocket, Xelloss blinkteleported away, leaving the four alone in
the hall once more.

	"I tooooold you," Shermie scolded Yashiro.

	The taller of the two Void fighters swore some, stormed off, then
returned to give James one last punch to the gut before he finally left.  

	As Jessie nursed her swollen jaw, James looked up from his fetal
position on the floor.  "I really don't like that man."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Kaoru wasn't sure where or what he'd stepped into.  Around him towered
great glowing walls of jade-toned walls, veined with darker emerald.  The
ceiling, or sky, towered far overhead, dwarfing him and the great walls he
stood between.  One finger was trailed across the glossy surface; he rubbed
his fingers, expecting to feel oil, but none was there.  Trying again, he
felt the stone.  Whatever this material was, it was nothing he had seen
before.  

	Rather annoyingly, a constant thrum of pulsing energy filled the giant
space, buzzing in Kaoru's mind and sending shivers up his spine.  He shook
it off and waited for Sephiroth's arrival.

	The son of Jenova wasn't long in arriving; his six-foot-plus form
stepped lightly through a portal similar to the one still open behind Kaoru,
self-assurance quirking his mouth into a smile.  For a moment, the two just
inspected each other, the bleached bone Kaoru trying to imitate polished
ivory.  Uncomfortable, he broke the silence.  "I was chosen to meet with
you.  You said you could give us information important to the fight with
Hell... well, I'm listening."

	Sephiroth scanned the boy, then turned away, running his hand along the
same wall that had perplexed Kaoru earlier.  "Inside this lies a giant
Crystal Pillar.  It calls death to rain down from the heavens, ripping and
devouring the flesh of any human it encounters.  With its power, an entire
continent was destroyed in less than an hour."  He paused, turned to Kaoru,
and smiled.  "I wonder how you turn it on."

	The albino shifted uncomfortably, but said nothing.  Sephiroth continued
smiling at his obvious discomfort, and began slowly striding around the
chamber, hand on the Masamune's hilt.  "I'm sure you're wondering why I
offered to meet with you.  I hold no love for Lina; she has that which is
rightfully mine.  At the same time, I -- as I'm sure you know -- have a
history with her rival."  He paused and shrugged.  "It was hard to decide my
course.  But after careful consideration, it was made clear."

	"To side with us?"  Kaoru offered, wanting to move it along.

	The two looked at each other, energy throbbing all around.  Both
remained motionless, and Kaoru began to wonder just what was going on here.

	Finally, Sephiroth chuckled, "Of course not, you foolish boy."  With one
easy motion, he slid the Masamune from its sheath and brought it down in an
arc to impact with the crackling oval that was Kaoru's escape.  Energy ran
down the blade and flared as it hit the doorway; there was a blinding flash,
a great roar, and then nothing.

	Kaoru gaped at the empty space for a moment, then backed up, trying to
open another portal.  The energy that had been a mere annoyance before,
though, now proved to be clouding his mind to the point of preventing his
escape.  He swore under his breath.

	Sephiroth smiled and leveled the Masamune, readying for another strike. 
"Perhaps next time your friends should be a bit less naive.  I'm sure your
head on Lina's desk will provide ample reason to do so.  I must admit, I'm
pleasantly surprised she sent one of her minions right from the start.  All
the easier for me."

	An AT Field flared around the slight boy, and he narrowed his eyes at
the older man.  "I'll be no easy target."

	"Good."  Seven feet of tempered steel swung through the air, bouncing
off as it struck the red-orange glow of Kaoru's barrier.  Another swing was
made, just barely brushing the edge of the field; energy began to collect
around the blade as Sephiroth slowly began to increase pressure.

	Kaoru backed up slowly, not trusting his footing on the odd material. 
The power coming from Sephiroth combined with the inherent properties of
whatever this place was was beginning to build beyond distraction to pain. 
Managing to concentrate for a moment, he sent out a needle-sharp extension
of his AT Field to strike Sephiroth on his nearest hand.  

	As Sephiroth bit off a curse and momentarily dropped his attack, Kaoru
turned and fled.  He had no idea where he was going, or if this corridor he
was following would lead him back on itself.  He did know, though, that he
had to get as far away from the center of this structure as possible, to
hopefully find a place outside the energy field so he could open a portal
once more.

	Given no other option, one angel flew from another.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Sephiroth watched the boy run off, his faintly glowing green eyes
matching the luminescent walls around him.  He smiled, then rose into the
air, hovering above the slick floor below.  Pausing for a moment to revel in
the wash of energy surrounding him, the bishounen then took flight after
Kaoru, sailing easily down the corridors of Lunatic Pandora.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	No matter where he turned, the same buzzing echoed throughout Kaoru's
head.  He'd no idea how long he'd been running, searching for a passage to
the entrance of this place.  Around him, the walls seemed to fold in on
themselves, bridges growing like vines to span the spaces overhead.  Forcing
himself to halt, Kaoru paused and tried to get his bearings. 

	Landmarks were few and far between here, but there was the same boulder
he'd passed before.  Craning his neck, he looked up at the bridge overhead,
trying to remember if he'd crossed that already in his travels.  

	And when he turned to check behind him, Sephiroth's sword went through
his shoulder.

	Long silver hair and a black trenchcoat fluttered, despite the utter
stillness of the air inside the structure.  Smiling thinly, Sephiroth drew
out Masamune in one clean arc, watching as Kaoru's blood splattered to the
floor.

	The boy staggered back and flared his AT Field once more as he clutched
at his shoulder, trying to stave the flow.  "What do you want?  What did I
do to you?" he quietly demanded, slowly backing up.

	"You dare to ask me that?" Sephiroth replied, his eyes narrowing to thin
slits.  "Do not overstep your bounds, boy.  You could have done nothing to
me that would draw my notice.  You die for your choice in masters, and for
her actions alone.  She is too powerful, with too many pathetic 'fighters'
scrabbling at her feet for a bit of attention."

	As he talked, Sephiroth slowly stalked towards Kaoru, who retreated at
the same slow pace.  "It would not do to have her be more powerful when
Heaven and Hell finally come to blows, nor for my former rival to have the
upper hand.  I wish only-"

	One gloved hand was pointed at the ceiling overhead, and a flash of
blinding light filled the chamber.  When it cleared, a rain of emerald
rubble was falling towards the two, leaving a gagged gash in the wall it
came from.  Sephiroth stood motionless as the stone pieces fell around him,
watching and smiling.

	Kaoru slowly climbed out from the pile, unbruised by the grace of his AT
Field but looking exhausted.  "You'll pay for this, Sephiroth.  You may be
alone, but I'm not."

	Smirking, Sephiroth finished, "I wish only for those two who would call
themselves gods to obliterate each other when their inevitable war occurs. 
Then I will be able to take my rightful place without their intervention,
and make this world my own.  And for that... I must even the odds."

	As he raised a fist in an imitation of his earlier stance, a stabbing
pain that was a reminder of last week's defeat came from an attack by Kaoru.
 Dropping his fist, Sephiroth frowned at Kaoru.  Concentration nearly at the
breaking point, the angel still had control enough to strike.

	"So you will not just roll over and die.  Foolish boy."  Eying Kaoru,
Sephiroth smiled and whispered two words: "Pale Horse."

	Flaring his Field for an attack similar to the ones he'd seen previously
from Sephiroth, Kaoru waited.  Two seconds later, he began screaming.

	Stepping back, Sephiroth watched as the boy flinched back and fell to
the ground, clutching his temples and howling.  All he had to do now was
watch as his opponent attempted to retain his sanity while his body and mind
rebelled against him.

	As the AT Field flickered once, twice, then died, Sephiroth smiled.  He
really should have used this attack before.  Striding easily towards his
fallen opponent, he reveled in the energy around him.  The walls began to
hum softly, then vibrate, then shake in their foundations, reverberating
with power.

	It was then that Masamune went through Kaoru's heart.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"Ms. Inverse?  We had an appointment."

	Turning to face the newcomer, Lina blinked.  "Uh... Nabiki, right? 
Yeah, the new owner of Ultra.  Look, I told Jack that-"

	"Well, I'm not Jack, Ms. Inverse.  I'm considerably smarter than him,
for one, and I'm not one to let a good chance for an alliance go to waste. 
Heaven and Ultra have been tied together for a long time, and I know it
would be beneficial for both of us if we renewed those ties.  Now, if you
could just-"

	Lina blinked as a sharp cracking noise emerged from... somewhere.  "What
was that?"

	Nabiki sighed and cleared her throat.  "Are we talking here or not, Ms.
Inverse?  I know you have a vested interest in this Federation, and so it
seems that-"

	As Lina finally traced the source of the noise, she gasped.  She'd
completely forgotten about Kaoru.  Horrified, she watched as Sephiroth's
sword pieced Kaoru's chest, balling her fists as the realization of betrayal
came to her.

	Nabiki stared at the monitor as well as the structure pictured within
began to flash brilliantly.  "You had a fight this spectacular, and you
didn't air it?"  she demanded, eyes huge.  "We have time to squeeze this in
before credits if we cut the last fight -- you have to let it air."

	Lina spun on her heel, caught in the act of opening a portal to go
retrieve her endangered servant.  "Fine, whatever!  I don't care!  Just get
out!"  she snapped, then dashed through the circle of light.

	A cell phone was quickly whipped out by its smirking owner.  "Boss here.
Tell video they have some clips coming down that'll need some footage of
Goku spliced in... looks like it'll need some sound work, too.  You have to
make it look like a regulation fight.  ...you get it?  Okay, great.  It'll
be in place of the Satan and Morrigan fight.  And make sure Morrigan knows
she gets her chance next week -- tell her it's a vacation."  As she hung up,
Nabiki's glance flickered over to the monitor, where Kaoru lay in a small
heap, motionless.  "Hmm.  I wonder how this'll all turn out?"

	And with that, she retrieved her purse and walked out.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Lina's voice came through the portal before the white oval had even
half-opened, sounding commanding, confident, and most of all, pissed. 
"Sephiroth!  Hold it RIGHT THERE!"

	The warrior turned and blinked at her, extending a small smile as he
looked her petite form over.  "You're a bit late, aren't you?"

	Swallowing, Lina took one confident step towards Sephiroth, trying to
keep her gaze focused on him instead of flickering it back and forth between
his amused stare and the silent form on the floor.  "Go.  Get the hell outta
here, Sephiroth.  I can kick your ass from here to Tuesday and we both know
it."

	"Oh my, but the little deity is so rough with her speaking.  You must
work on that, if you wish to present the proper image of a god.  Alright. 
I'll go.  But you can't be everywhere at once, girl, no matter what that
book of yours says.  If I feel like taking another of your minions from you,
I will.  If I feel like removing one of the amnesiac buffoon's, I will do so
instead."  Taking one step back, he pulled Masamune from Kaoru's forehead,
first drawing it lightly across the angel's skin.  Lina bit back a gasp, but
no blood came.  

	Sephiroth opened a portal with a casual flick of his wrist, moving
slowly back towards it.  His burning green gaze never left Lina, but not
once did he looked concerned for his safety.  "You hold that position which
is rightfully mine, Inverse.  You call it yours, when you won it only by the
virtue of a foolish competition.  That honor has been flowing through my
veins since birth, and I will reclaim it."

	As the son of Jenova stepped through the portal, Lina whipped off a pair
of Flare Arrows at him, clenching her teeth as they only impacted against
the closing doorway and fizzled.  Suddenly recalling her reason for coming,
she darted over to Kaoru, finally able to check on him now that Sephiroth's
blade wasn't poised over his head.  "Kaoru?  Kaoru, c'mon, you gotta be in
there.  I can *feel* you still there, so just open your eyes!"

	Screwing her eyes skyward helplessly, Lina slid her hand gently under
Kaoru's skull, cradling it from the hard floor beneath.  Both then vanished
in a flash of heavenly light, leaving only a puddle of blood that seeped
quickly into the stone.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Mr. Satan looked in disbelief at the staff member as she walked down the
hall, having delivered her message.  This was unbelievable!  He was supposed
to have had his revenge!  His pride would have been restored!  He would have
shown that tramp what she got for humiliating Mr. Satan, Earth's Greatest
Champion!

	As he thought back to his embarrassment in the ring last week, though, a
tiny piece of him was glad.

	But just a tiny one.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Morrigan smirked as she sank back onto the couch in her dressing room. 
She really didn't care that the fight had been delayed, but having Nabiki
work to make sure she felt all right about it... this was nice.

	She turned and looked at the new additions her room had recently
acquired, courtesy of Ultra Enterprises, and smiled.  A photo shoot on
Tuesday, autographs on Thursday.  Indeed, this was... nice.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Hiroshi listened to the update coming through his headset, and blinked. 
"Uh... okay, folks.  Now here's a surprise for you!  You've already seen one
title defense tonight, so instead of another one, we have a SPECIAL OMEGA
MATCH coming at you!  Gods!  Angels!  Really big explosions!  How do you
like THAT?"

	The audience gave a collective shrug, and started cheering.  Sure,
whatever.  Hiroshi liked it, so it must be good.  

	The cloned announcer set aside his notes for the Satan / Morrigan match,
and turned his chair to face the UltraTron.  The audience's reaction was
less-than-thrilled until the sparks started flying.  

	Twelve minutes later, when the last spark flew, every eye was locked on
the UltraTron.  Including Hiroshi's and, yes, Tarou's.

	Tarou frowned.  "That... wasn't in the plans for the evening."

	Hiroshi gulped.  "Well, that was really something, wasn't it, folks!  A
match between a fallen angel and, uh, a risen one!  Okay, a pretty one-sided
match, but still... It's Ultra!  Ultra violence, Ultra mayhem, and ULTRA
EXCITEMENT!  From me and Tarou, we'd like to say good night, goo-"

	"Wait just ONE MINUTE, Hiroshi!"

	The fans all turned to the entrance ramp where the voice had come from,
looking in the dark for its source.  The control booth quickly got a
spotlight focused on the door, revealing Daisuke standing next to a
microphone-wielding, spikey-haired, grin-flashing Jack.  The two were
flanked by Shingo and Sakura, who were smiling at the crowd as well.

	Jack raised his mic.  "Hey folks!  Did you miss me?"  Before they could
respond, he plowed on.  "You may have been thinking tonight -- and I'm sure
you were -- sure, this is Ultra.  Sure, there were fights.  But damn if it
wasn't missing that special something... me.  Sure, Beek may run a smooth
ship-"

	Tarou scowled.

	"-but she also tosses anyone overboard who won't cooperate with her.  Is
that what you want, folks?  Real fighters getting tossed aside so her
pwecious liddle favorites can be put on top?  Of course not!  You want
mayhem, you want violence, and you want to watch real matches!  And that's
what I'm here for!  Finally, Controversial Jack has come back to Ultra!"

	"You were gone less than a week, Jack," Daisuke reminded him.

	Jack covered his microphone and rolled his eyes.  "Work with me,
Daisuke."

	"Oh good Lina in heaven, it never ends."

	"And so the four of us are here to let Nabiki Tendou know that her reign
of terror is going to be over before it even starts!"  Pointing up towards
the opposite wall, where Jack knew his old office rested behind, he
confirmed, "Yeah, we're talking to you!  And this isn't a closed club... Mr.
Satan, you wanna get some backup when you go against Morrigan?  Ranma, do
you want to take the ring knowing she won't be driving you to the loony bin
again?  Well, come on down folks, because the Controversial Hardcore Army Of
Sedition wants to make YOU all that you can be!"

	"That would be CHAOS for those in the audience who are trying to catch
up," Daisuke offered.

	"And thank you for that, Daisuke.  Beek... enjoy your stay in the big
chair now, cause it won't last long!  So folks, good night, and be sure to
tune in next week... because we WILL be seeing you."

	As the spotlights flashed off, Hiroshi babbled, "WOW, folks!  Jack makes
an amazing return to Ultra -- what will this mean for the upcoming weeks? 
What kind of allies will he get? What kind of-"

	"And that's Ultra for the evening. Good night." Tarou turned and eyed
Hiroshi, who swallowed.

	"Um.  Good night."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	Ten minutes after the show had concluded, Hiroshi got the distinct
feeling that bad things were about to happen.  Nabiki smiled at him, the
same smile that had sent him scrambling for his wallet to ensure its safety
for so many years before.  "Hiroshi, Hiroshi, Hiroshi.  We need to talk."

	He swallowed, but she plowed on.  "I can see you like Team Rocket, and
that's fine.  That's great.  If you'd put a slightly different slant on
their actions, the audience would've been booing them the same as the
Samurai.  But they're set as the good guys now, all because of you."

	Hiroshi said nothing, partially from curiosity of where she was going
with this and partially because he was scared for his bank account.  

	"My point is this, Hiroshi.  Cheer on the Rockets all you want.  Lambda
isn't usually a big draw, but those two are popular.  If they hold onto the
belts til Doomsday, fine, so long as they keep their fans.  But Hiroshi...
do not screw up people in the other divisions.  Those are our big sellers. 
Or they will be."

	He meekly asked, "Darshu?"

	"Darshu."  As he nodded abashedly, Nabiki rested her elbows on the
mahogany desk and cupped her chin.  Hiroshi shifted uncomfortably as she
looked him up and down.  "And Hiroshi, we need to discuss something else. 
The Lilith and Rei thing... it's no good.  The audience wants resolution. 
Sure, it was cute to have them chase you all around the Dome, but that's
tired.  I expect to have this resolved soon; I trust your reliability, so I
won't set a deadline.  Yet.  Oh, and tell that partner of yours that I want
to see him."

	He stared at her, but she seemed to be serious.  "You... you're telling
me to adjust my love life based on the whims of the fans?  You can't be
serious!  This is my life, and I'll run it my way!"  he all completely
failed to get past his vocal cords.  Instead, he just continued staring.

	Nabiki reached for her files and began rifling through them, which
apparently told Hiroshi that their time was up.  He grumbled and turned to
leave, but not before she spoke up once more.  "And I assume you already
know this... but by resolution, I mean picking Lilith.  She has a better
screen presence, and, let's face it... If you and Rei were walking around
together, it'd send the people at home scrambling for the contrast knobs on
their televisions.  But I'm sure you knew that... right?"

	"Uh.  Right."  Hiroshi walked out, closing the door behind him.  He
leaned against the wall, picturing two faces in his mind.  While one winked
at him coquettishly, the other simply gave that same small smile he'd always
loved... but this time, it seemed to be coming from a paste-white face
surrounded by faded, dull bangs.

	Running a hand through his own pale hair, Hiroshi sighed and walked off.

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"Do you want me to knock him around a little?"

	Nabiki smiled at Tarou.  "Of course not.  Jack may not realize this, but
he's helping me.  If he gets this little coup going, wonderful.  It'll get
people tuning in, and that means better ratings for me.  Now, if he does
turn into a major... irritant..."

	Tarou smiled.  "Then I go and have a little talk with him."

	"Exactly."  Nabiki frowned as she looked at the note on her desk.  "Nuku
Nuku seems bound and determined to stay with Ultra.  Well.  I'm a reasonable
businesswoman, she's a photogenic girl -- if Gally and Ifurita want to deal
with her, they're welcome to the challenge.  She better put on a good show,
though."

	"Can't fault your business sense, Ms. Tendou."

	"Nor can I, Tarou."  Nabiki smiled as she flipped open the bank books
for the federation.  "Nor can I."

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	There's something unsettling about a death in Heaven.

	No matter how many times Urd told her otherwise, Lina couldn't help but
think of Kaoru as dead when she looked at him, pallid and motionless.  "It's
my fault."

	The statuesque Norn placed a hand gently on her shoulder, offering what
small comfort she could.  "It's Sephiroth's fault.  Kaoru knew what he was
getting into; he's faced death before, and he knows what it entails.  And...
I'll say it again... he's not dead to us.  He may be dead to Earth as he was
before, but no mortal can destroy an agent of Heaven."

	"So then why is he in a coma?!"

	Urd sighed.  "We can't be destroyed, but we can be hurt.  And it can
take a very long time to recover."

	"So how long is long?"

	"Years.  Centuries.  Millennia."  Seeing Lina's horrified stare, Urd
quickly amended, "I don't know that Kaoru will take that long.  He probably
won't.  But..."

	"But if people here start ending up in comas for years on end, we're in
a lot of trouble."  Lina rubbed her temples tiredly.  This wasn't who she
was supposed to be.  She was supposed to be assertive, self-assured, and
most of all, independent.  But she had a job to do, and damned if she'd
leave people in the lurch.  She smiled darkly at her choice of words, then
looked over at Urd.  "So what do we do?"

	The platinum-haired beauty smiled back at her with a similar expression.
 "You mean besides doing some recruiting for Hell so he targets them
instead?"

	"Yeah.  I guess... I guess we just have to be careful from now on. 
Xelloss, Cloud, and Sephiroth, all three of 'em."  The tiredness on her face
suddenly replaced with something akin to her usual cockiness, Lina winked at
Urd.  "But if there's one thing I know, it's how to win against the odds."


			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *


] [ ULTRA EPISODE 42 RESULTS/RECAP

] [ NABIKI is apparently collaborating with MORRIGAN AND DARSHU
] [ TOUGA, MIKADO, ZELGADIS, GOSUNKUGI, TRON, and NUKU NUKU are FIRED
] [ MARLO defeats AKANE and is now at  8W / 3L, no title change
] [ TIFA / BEAN defeat the DISCIPLES OF THE VOID and are now at 5W / 3L
] [ DARK SCHNEIDER defeats T.G.L.S.C. DAN HIBIKI and is now at 2W / 2L
] [ NUKU NUKU joins the CYBERGRRLZ as a new Omega fighter
] [ TEAM ROCKET defeats THE SAMURAI and is now at 7W / 5L, retains Lambda
belts
] [ BISON'S BUSTERS punk the SAMURAI during their fight
] [ YASHIRO is NOT HAPPY with JAMES
] ] XELLOSS is NOT HAPPY with YASHIRO
] [ MORRIGAN'S title defense against MR. SATAN is delayed
] [ SEPHIROTH defeats KAORU, no status change
] [ JACK, DAISUKE, SHINGO, and SAKURA form the CHAOS stable
] [ KAORU is in a coma, time for recovery unknown


] [ ANGLE SUMMARIES

 ][ = Angle continues, may have new developments
 [] = Angle is closed, might have been replaced
 }{ = Entirely new angle
 ??  = Possible new angle?  (Can be derived from events)
 XX = Didn't touch on this from past episode very well or at all

[]  Bison's Busters and the Samurai
  (The Busters get revenge, promise to do the same to others)
[]  Jack and Daisuke plot to get their jobs back
  (They're back in Ultra, managing Shingo and Sakura)
][  Mewtwo vs. Washuu / the Cybergrrlz
  (Gally finds reluctant help in Ash and less reluctant help in Nuku Nuku)
][  Heaven vs. Hell
  (Both sides must now deal with the added threat of Sephiroth)
][  Marlo vs. Akane rivalry for the Hardcore belt
  (He manages a win, but doesn't regain his title)
][  Nabiki's profit-mongering reign over Ultra
  (She's pushing Morrigan and Darshu at the expense of other fighters)
][  Mr. Satan vs. Morrigan
  (He's itching for a chance to show her up; will he succeed next week?)
][  Ranma's many wild emotional issues
  (Has promised to not take the ring with anger controlling him)
}{  Jack and Daisuke, Ultra managers
  (Managing Shingo and Sakura... will they convince anyone else to join?)
}{  Sephiroth, the man who would be God
  (How will Heaven and Hell react, and who will he strike next?)
??  Yashiro is furious about his loss of his title and stature
  (Will he disobey Xelloss and exact revenge on Team Rocket?)
??  Shingo stole Iori's gloves, possible rivalry
  (Not touched, but how will Iori react to a whole stable behind Shingo?)
??  Hiroshi and Tarou, the Odd Couple
  (Will their less-than-stellar chemistry boil over?)
XXX  Morrigan vs. every red-blooded male in Ultra ^_^;
  (No challengers this week... all the more time to prepare her attack!)
XX  Meowth is still apparently Lost In Space
  (Team Rocket's concerned about him... but not very. ^_^;)
XX  B-ko and Sephiroth, Lovers
  (How will she react to his renewed focus on attaining power?)
XX  Shermie stalks Daisuke
  (She must have seen his return to Ultra, though!)
XX  Yohko and Iori's relationship
  (No mention)
XX  Bison vs. SNK/Capcom
  (No mention)

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

So, Twoflower announces he'll be making people submit applications for this
season.  Sure, I think, what could be the harm in trying?  I send one in.  I
make it in the queue, hey nifty!  I end up following the PPV, hey, nifty!  I
sit down to start writing the thing and realize... I'm following URD. I'M
FOLLOWING URD. *insert screams of terror here*

Luckily, an impro author is never alone. ^_^  Many thanks go out to many
people, who pulled my posterior out of the flames many a time.  Woofer, for
coming to my aid when I realized with horror that, with my concentration on
making sure I hit the needed plots after the PPV, I'd been writing Dan
SERIOUSLY.  He stepped in and pulled out that fun little piece of lunacy
that was the Darshu/Dan fight, as well as being our commercial sponsor for
the evening.  Lurker, for prereading, letting me bounce off ideas, and
helping a great deal with the Dr. Light/Gally scenes.  Kate Malloy, for
prereading, catching mistakes made at 2 in the morning, and being the other
founding member of Team K. ^_^  ravi, for looking at grammar mistakes and
telling me, "BAD KRISTEN!  NO SHINYLEATHER FOR YOU!"  The boys in
FalChamLink, who have the episode following this one, for giving me comments
as I wrote and being really open to suggestions.  Good luck, guys!  And
finally -- okay, so I don't want to break an author's note trend -- thanks
to Twoflower, for having the faith in me to put a loony artist in this slot,
helping with dialogue, and for not killing me in the chat room when he went
on another of his mad rampages.

And to balance all that out, here is a very short paragraph.

In conclusion -- and yes, I realize that makes me sound like a local
politician giving a speech on water table management -- this was fun.  No,
really.  I think Season 5 shall rock the house, dope, word up, okay I'll
stop.  Good luck to all the authors after me, and if you take the belts off
Team Rocket, I'll secretly replace your coffee with Folger's Crystals. 
Beware. ^_^

-- Kristen Smirnov
April  24, 2000
http://www.smirnov.net/
kristen@smirnov.net

			    * ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

	"We're gonna be back on top, Daiving Board!"

	"Don't EVEN try to tell me that wasn't on purpose!"