This is the universe.  You can recognize it easily because there 
is no other thing as infinitely large, infinitely dense and 
infinitely powerful.  Sure, there are some infinitely large 
things such as the ego of your average bubblegum-flavored 
pop idol, and the infinitely dense brain of Tom Green and the 
infinitely powerful taunting potential of Dan Hibiki.

Even with these metaphors, it's impossible to wrap your mind 
around THE UNIVERSE as a concept.  Most sentient life 
forms on the blue-green planet named Earth go, 'Okay, the 
universe. It's big and everything's in it,' but unfortunately that's 
an infinitely tiny portion of what the universe actually is.  It's a 
mystery and a half and a third and a fourth and all the way 
down to an Nth.

Not even God fully understands the universe.

This is why God almost destroyed it.

In a process named 'Third Impact', a leftover from a previous 
God (since it's a commonly established fact that there have 
been a long string of them in the office, carrying the godhead) 
the whole of creation was threatened live and direct on pay per 
view.  The Void spread across Earth, nearly consuming all life 
on that planet... before being reversed, thanks to some very 
timely intervention.

Most people on the planet shrugged it off, unable to wrap their 
minds around the idea of melting into a puddle and then 
returning to human form.  "Well, glad that's over with" is the 
order of the day, as everybody returned to business as usual, 
without a second thought.

But the universe never forgets.

Of all the properties it may have, infinite patience is not one of 
them.  A silent shape moved from the center of the infinite 
slopes of dimensional reality, a shape with a beeline course for 
a small blue-green planet and the higher planes surrounding it.  
If it was possible to see it, to detect it, to sense it there at all, it 
could be said to have a determined expression on its non-face.

*****

Nabiki looked at the piece of paper in her hand thoughtfully.  
The percentage of female viewers had dropped due to the 
overabundance of fanservice directed at males:  namely 
Morrigan.  Hm. She should set something up to rectify that.  
Now, after that whole REBOOT and Third Impact event last 
week, she just wanted to relax with an easy show.  What to do, 
what to do...

"Hey, Ms. Tendou?"  Tarou entered Nabiki's office somewhat 
cautiously, followed by Morrigan, Marlo, Yuffie and Dark 
Schneider.  "Got the card ready for tonight?"

She looked up.  "Hm."  Pulling out various pieces of paper 
from one of the stacks, she started to read off, "Okay, the first 
match will be the Team Rocket and Disciples of the Void 
grudge match.  It won't be for the title...unless of course, the 
Disciples win."

Tarou nodded.  Nabiki shuffled through some more papers. 
"I'm going to set up a special match; it'll be crossover 
divisions.  Lambda and Gamma."

"Great, so I get to beat on some pansy team players?" Marlo 
asked.

"Not exactly. No offense, but the girls aren't exactly after 
you."  She pulled out a list with certain fighters' names on it 
highlighted.  "It'll be a surprise."

"WHAT?  What does that have to do with anything?" Marlo's 
face turned red as he tried, unsuccessfully, to contain his 
temper.


"There's a certain demographic that's missing out, and I plan to 
rectify that problem," Nabiki said calmly.  "Are you okay with 
that?"

"Oh.  I guess," Marlo shrugged.

"What about me?" Darshu asked, plopping himself down in a 
chair by Nabiki's desk.  "I want a match with the Pink 
Wonder."

"Okay, you've got it," Nabiki made a note.  "That's three 
matches.  I need two more, at least."

Yuffie looked up.  "I can fight if you want me to.  I've got 
nothing better to do."

"How about Naga?  She was the title belt holder for a while, 
but you may have a chance against her."

"Sure!  Lemme go 'borrow' some materia from Tifa first."

Nabiki grinned.  "Good girl."  She scribbled something down.  
"One more..."

The door flew open.  "I'm sorry, miss, but you can't go in 
there!" The flustered secretary feebly attempted to keep the 
intruder from entering, but was thrust out of the way as the 
black-clad girl stormed in.

"I want my match."

Nabiki gazed flatly across her desk at Gally.  Gally glared 
back, leaning forward, her gaze focused directly upon Nabiki's 
face and her hands resting on Nabiki's desk.  Tarou and 
Darshu stepped in a bit closer to Gally, looming over her; she 
ignored them.

"I've jumped through your hoops, Miss Tendou," Gally 
growled.  "Now I want Mewtwo.  I went up against your 
champion; I played your games with Sephiroth.  Now give me 
my fight with Mewtwo."

"Improve your tone, Gally," Nabiki frowned at the hunter-
warrior.  "It's just as easy for me if I keep your precious spat 
with Mewtwo off the card for the rest of the season."  She 
paused for a moment before shrugging.  "However, as your 
efforts over the past weeks have pulled in somewhat improved 
ratings, you'll get to fight Mewtwo."

Gally straightened and nodded to Nabiki.  "Great.  Tonight--"

"--you'll do nothing," Nabiki finished.  She favored Gally with 
one of her trademark smirks.  "You're far too late to be on 
tonight's card.  Unfortunately for you, you'll get your fight... 
but only after the PPV."

"What!  You can't...  This is Washuu's last chance!"

"Protest all you like, but that's my final word..." Nabiki calmly 
stated, turning back to the sales projections she'd been reading 
earlier.  "Unless, of course, you'd like me to drop this match 
from the card next season as well."  She looked up for a 
moment, adding, "Coming in here without an appointment 
again would be an excellent way of achieving that, Gally."

With a supreme effort, Gally held her tongue and started to 
leave.

"...But, as it happens, I do have a space open on tonight's 
card."

Gally stopped.  "So..."

"You get your match tonight."

Gally turned to Nabiki and bowed.  "Thank you.  I won't 
disappoint."

"You had better not."  Gally  nodded and rushed out of the 
room.  Nabiki gloated, "Well, there's our last match."

"That was cruel, Nabiki," Morrigan chided.  "I like it."

"So what else is on the agenda, boss?" Tarou asked.

Nabiki thought for a moment.  "Just general mayhem, I 
suppose.  Only two of you are in matches.  Morrigan, you get 
a week off.  Marlo, I want you to watch the crossover fight 
later.  We don't want CHAOS to get another win on us."

"Right.  I'll take care of 'em," Marlo grinned evilly.

"Hm...," Nabiki tapped a pen on her desk thoughtfully.  "I 
need a Lambda team.  Jack's got all of the divisions covered 
except Omega, and I can't let him beat me in Lambda."

Yuffie idly twirled a shuriken.  "Don't you have some history 
with one of those samurai?"

"Kunou? What a moron," Tarou scoffed.  "He's useless."

Nabiki waved a hand.  "No...not necessarily.  He is a good 
fighter, just easily distracted, like Shermie or Nuku Nuku."

"And he's not that smart," Morrigan noted.  "Easily 
manipulated."

"Exactly."  Nabiki smiled.  "We're going to go pay a visit to 
the Samurai later today, Morrigan."

Morrigan smirked.

*****

CHAOS and their guests Tifa and Bean, sat around a table 
Jack had brought in, quietly chatting.  Jessie was painting her 
nails, Pikachu cuddled in her lap.  James and Shingo were 
talking shop with Bean -- shop being ways for them to be 
more effective fighters, Tifa was scratching at her cast 
absently and talking to Sakura and Karin.  Daisuke was 
reading a magazine, while Jack looked bored.  Then Jack 
pounded a gavel on the table to get their attention.  "So, what 
do we have, gang?"

"Squeak!"

"Now, now, Mr. Duck.  Let them speak up first."

Daisuke rolled his eyes.  "Okay, look. We've got Jessie and 
James fighting the Disciples.  Jessie's injured.  This is *not* a 
good thing.  While it's true that Tifa," he nodded at the Internet 
belt holder, who looked down at her hands guiltily, "has been 
healing her, she's still not in top condition.  Do you two have 
some sort of strategy worked out?"

Jessie and James exchanged glances.  The redhead then poked 
James with her crutch.  James yelped.  "Owie!  That hurt!  
Okay.  Um, we're going to concentrate on just staying out of 
the way and using our pokemon.  They need some practice 
anyways.  Pikachu will do guard duty for Jessie when she's in 
the ring, and hopefully keep those two psychotics away."  
Pikachu nodded emphatically from his position on Jessie's lap.  
James shuddered delicately.  "And I don't want them to mess 
with my perfect face."

Daisuke nodded and marked off another mental note.  "And 
none of the rest of you have matches today.  We'll stick by the 
ring and watch out for foul play.  It should all be good."

A knock sounded at the door, and Shingo stepped up to 
answer it.  Ducking past the Kyo-wannabe, Yuffie bounded 
into the room.  Spotting Tifa she plopped next to her, ignoring 
the looks.  "Hiya all!"

"Hello there Yuffie!  ...And what brings you here?" Jack's eyes 
narrowed slightly as he looked at the newcomer.

"Oh, Shingo and James will be fighting as a team later tonight.  
Crossover match or something."  She turned to Tifa.  "And 
guess what!  I have a match against Naga today!  You'll be 
cheering for me, right?" Grinning at Tifa, she gave her a big 
hug.  

Tifa pushed her, not ungently, away.  "Um, Yuffie?  What do 
you want?"

"I wanted to say hello and stuff!  We haven't seen each other 
in forever, let's go hang out or something."

Tifa smiled brightly.  "Okay.  That sounds nice, actually.  I'll 
think about it."

"Wai!"  Yuffie bounced up.  "Well, I've gotta book it, I have to 
get ready for my match.  See yas!"  She waved cheerily as she 
exited the room as quickly as she had arrived.

Daisuke stared at the door after she left.  "You know...I have a 
bad feeling about her."

*****

Hiroshi clicked on the TV.  Ultra was on.  He sighed, scanning 
the screen looking for a pale girl.  He didn't find her.  He 
sighed again.  Why did this have to happen to her?  That 
whole thing was just a big mess.  He needed to figure out a 
way to get her back.  Maybe get another job at Ultra, even if it 
was just as a food vendor.

"Bison.  Now you have yet another against you."  He clenched 
his fist, then sighed, abruptly aware of how puny the size of 
the fist he made was.  "I can't do much, but I'll try, Rei...I'll 
try."

*****


                              LIVE!
                      FROM THE UltraDome!
                     THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE
                    IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME
                      SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
                        AND IMPROFANFIC!
                        IT'S TIME FOR...

         { M A G I C A L  T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G }
         {    C R O S S O V E R    F I G H T I N G      }
         {             F E D E R A T I O N              }
         {                .-----------.                 }
         {                | U-L-T-R-A |                 }
         {                `-----------'                 }
         {          http://www.mtcffultra.com          }

        Episode #45: Ladies Night!  ^_~
        This Episode Written By:         Delfina
	  Additional Material Provided By: Anonymous
                                         Stephica
                                         Twoflower
        MTCFF Ultra created by Twoflower

*****

"WEEEEEEELLLLLLLLCCCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMEEEEEEE TO ULTRA, 
EVERYONE!" Sana yelled.  The crowd responded by cheering 
wildly and sending numerous waves of sound pulsating throughout 
the Ultradome, causing its walls to vibrate with them.  
Fortunately, the Ultradome was built to withstand this sort 
of thing, so it weathered the sonic booms just fine.

"And we've got a GREAT CARD for you tonight!" Sana 
continued.  "First will be the Disciples of the Void and Team 
Rocket GRUDGE MATCH!  WAI!  Go Jessie!"

Tarou groaned, and turned on his mic.  "We also have a match 
between the Mad Taunter and Dark Schneider."

"YES!  WE DO!  And after that, a match between our 
NEWEST OMEGA CONTENDER, YUFFIE!  AND NAGA!  
WAAIIIII!!!!"

"Right.  And then a match between Gally and Mewtwo..."

"That's been WAITED ON for FOREVER!  WILL THIS 
RESOLVE THEIR FEUDING?  Will Washuu be restored?  
GO Gally!  Girl power!  And then AFTER that, we have some 
WAI WAI PSEUDOYAOI LUVLUV!  WAAAIIIII!!!!"

Tarou sweatdropped.  "What she means is, there's a special 
match at the end of tonight's show."

"WAI!  Lots and lots of ULTRAVIOLENCE planned in 
tonight's show!" Sana cheered, bouncing erratically around the 
announcers' station.

Tarou's headphones crackled.  "Watch Sana.  She's slightly 
burned out from last week's episode, we think, so make sure 
she doesn't overexert herself."

"And how am I supposed to do that?" Tarou asked.

"You'll think of something, I'm sure."  Nabiki's line clicked off 
and Tarou cursed to himself.

"Boy, do we have a fight for you!  The Disciples of the Void 
are going to fight against Team Rocket, as was announced last 
week at REBOOT after the fight between Jessie and Shermie!  
There will be LOTS of BLOOD and GORE and hopefully 
PUNCTURED SPLEENS!" Sana yelled into the microphone.

"Basically, it'll be a bloodbath.  The fashion loving floof and 
the razor-haired bimbo, also known as Team Rocket, will be 
crushed by the Disciples," Tarou dryly added.

Sana nodded eagerly.  "And look!  There they are!"  She 
pointed at the top of the ramp leading to the ring.

Shermie bounced down to the ring, Yashiro walking 
somewhat more sedately beside her.  She waved to the fans 
and blew kisses -- not the electrical ones, mind you -- out at 
the fanboys in the audience.  

Yashiro rolled his eyes.  "Would you stop that?  We're here to 
win a fight and prove that we're the best, not cater to the 
drooling fans."

"But Yash-chan...it's so much fun!"  She pointed at the 
nosebleed section.  "Look!  Isn't that so nice?  They're 
acknowledging our greater ability at fighting!"

"More like, acknowledging the cleavage shots you're giving 
them."  He sighed.  "You're such a ditz."

"I am not!" Shermie glared at Yashiro.  "Ooh, pretty lights!"

The pretty lights were the ones highlighting Team Rocket's 
entrance into the ring.  The sounds of a high-powered engine 
echoed through the Ultradome as Jessie and James made their 
entrance riding a huge motorcycle.

"Well, that was an unimpressive entrance," Tarou commented.

"COOL BIKE!" Sana cheered.

"Prepare for trouble!"

"And make it double!"  

A BMW K1200 LS in marrakesh red roared into the 
Ultradome, James driving and Jessie perched sidesaddle 
behind him.  It swept past the aisles, zoomed past the 
audience, sped up the ramp that was set up by the ring, and 
flew over the Disciples, the ring, and out the other exit, 
swerving erratically.

Jack, Tifa, Bean, and Shingo ran down to the edge of the ring 
to wait for Team Rocket.

Lights flashed, spotlights circled the arena, and the bike 
screamed past the audience on the other side.  Jessie was 
clinging for dear life onto James, her hair whipping in the 
wind.  It then screeched to a halt right in front of the ring.  
Both took a moment to rearrange their hair, and then renewed 
their motto, the crowd cheering markishly in the interim.

"To protect the world from devastation!"
 
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!" 

"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

"James!"

"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light!" 

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"  The two powerposed; 
well, James did.  Jessie did as best she could from her current 
position.  The crowd would have cheered regardless.

"How do they always manage to make their entrances 
second?" Yashiro muttered.

"I think their entrance is cool!" Shermie bounced happily.

"You would."  Yashiro turned to Team Rocket.  "Are you two 
ready to be creamed?"

"Ha!"  Jessie swept a hand through the air. "Don't 
underestimate us.  I beat Shermie last week and I can do it 
again!"

"That was luck," Yashiro scoffed.  "Look at you.  You're on 
crutches.  There's no way you can win this time."

James stepped forward.  "Yes we can, and we will."  He 
whispered to Jessie, "We will, right?"

"Shush!  Now help me into the ring," Jessie said.

"So, you're making the wounded member fight first, hm?  
Well then, I think I'll let Shermie take a break and sit out.  I'll 
be the first to smack her around a bit."  Yashiro waved 
Shermie out of the ring, who obligingly stepped to the side.

Jessie smiled confidently, leaning back on her crutches.

"Tag me in if you need to, Jessie," James called as he also 
stepped out of the ring.

][ LAMBDA MATCH #1
][ DISCIPLES OF THE VOID VS. TEAM ROCKET
][ FIGHT!

"Let's finish this off quickly," Yashiro said as he rushed in 
towards Jessie, prepared to knock her out.  Unfortunately, he 
hit the crutch that Jessie put up in his way.  "What?"

Jessie balanced herself on one foot and one crutch, and hit 
Yashiro on the head with the other crutch.  
*WHAMWHAMWHAM*

"WAI!  Look, Jessie's beating on Yashiro with her crutch!" 
Sana cheered.

"The idiot should get his act together and grab it.  Beating that 
rocket slut up should be a piece of cake for him," Tarou 
replied.

"Ouch!  HEY!"  Grabbing the end of the crutch, he attempted 
to pull it away from Jessie.

"No!"  Jessie held it firmly,  not letting Yashiro take it.

"Yes!"  Yashiro tugged with all of his force on the crutch.

"Okay."  Jessie smirked triumphantly, letting the crutch go, 
sending Yashiro slamming into the ropes, knocked off-balance 
with surprise.  She looked at James and signaled him, James 
promptly ran over to Yashiro, popped a blue wig onto his 
head, and then crawled underneath the ring.

"What the-- what the heck do you think you're doing, you 
floof?"  Yashiro spun around to try and grab James, but 
missed as the nimble Team Rocket member disappeared from 
sight.

"Victreebel!"

The plant-based pokemon popped out and immediately looked 
for James.  Spotting blue hair, he launched himself at Yashiro, 
swallowing his head completely.

"Ano...Yash-chan, you have something on your head..." 
Shermie intelligently noted.

"Mmmph, mrph, MMPH!"  Yashiro had his hands around 
Victreebel and was attempting to pull him off.

"What?  You want me to tag you out?  Okay, Yash-chan!  I'll 
fight good for you!"  Shermie pulled Yashiro out of the ring 
and dumped him unceremoniously on the side.  Bouncing into 
the ring, she fell into a defensive stance, facing Jessie.  
"You're not going to get me the same way you did last time!"

"Drat."  Jessie leaned against the post of the ring and her 
remaining crutch.  She then grinned and pulled out a pokeball.  
"Weezing!  Stomp!"

The gaseous pokemon looked blank for a moment and then 
jumped onto Shermie.  *STOMPSTOMP*.

"Wah!  Make him stop!"  Shermie started running around the 
ring, Weezing in fast pursuit, occasionally bouncing off of her 
head and knocking her down.  "Yashiro!  Help me!"

Victreebel flew across the ring, slightly dazed, and Yashiro 
stood up.  "You're going to PAY, rocket slut!"

"Oh dear.  Victreebel, return!  James, I think it's your turn."  
Jessie started edging towards the side of the ring, holding her 
arm out to be tagged.  Yashiro bounded into the ring, throwing 
Shermie out.

"Owie!  That wasn't very nice, Yash-chan," Shermie remarked 
as she rubbed her sore bottom.

"You can't handle the job, so I'm going to finish her off."  
Yashiro rushed at Jessie, who was currently doing a 
remarkably good impression of a deer caught in the headlights 
of a car, and got a lightning bolt to the face.

"PIKACHU!"  An angry yellow pokemon stared at Yashiro, 
pulsing with electrical energy.  Yashiro barely registered the 
shock -- having been accidentally hit by Shermie's kisses, such 
as they were, many times before -- and continued on towards 
Jessie, who was cowering in the corner of the ring.

*BONK*

"I'm afraid that Jessie's going to have to leave the ring for a 
bit," James said, putting the crutch down.  "My turn."  Jessie 
quickly left the ring and hobbled over to stand by Jack, 
Shingo, Tifa and Bean.

"Oh please, you're just as pathetic as she is.  Don't worry, you 
won't even see it coming."  Yashiro cracked his knuckles and 
jabbed his fist towards James' face.  James' survival instincts 
kicked into overdrive and he started frantically dodging 
Yashiro's increasingly faster punches and kicks.

"Ack!  Jessie, what do I do?"

"Use a pokemon, of course."  Jessie threw a pokeball at James, 
which he barely caught.

"Thanks!  Mew!" James threw the pokeball in Yashiro's 
general direction, who instinctively dodged, remembering 
what happened the last time he had a pokeball thrown at him.  
"Um, pound attack, Mew!"

The psychic pokemon floated serenely in the air and pulled 
out a huge mallet made entirely of psychic energy.  "Mew!"

"Oh please, like some little rat is going to do anything to me," 
Yashiro scoffed.

The little rat in question floated over to Yashiro, held his 
mallet high, and brought it down upon Yashiro's head -- it 
happened so fast Yashiro didn't even have time to blink.  
"Mew!" *WHAM*  "Mew!"  *WHAM*

"OOH!  Would you LOOK at that!  Mew's POUND attack is 
being utilized by JAMES, and it appears that YASHIRO is 
SUFFERING the consequences of his DOUBT!" Sana cried, 
bouncing wildly in her announcer's seat, her pupils a little 
dilated.

Tarou looked at Sana, with a vague expression of concern.  
"Don't collapse until *after* the show, you sugar loving 
freak."

"I'm just FINE, Panty-CHAN!  Why do YOU ask?"  Her eyes 
opened wider and one eye started twitching a bit.

"...No reason, I guess."  He shrugged.  "But if you call me 
Panty-chan agai--"

Sana screamed with joy as Mew pounded Yashiro again.  
"WAI!  Back to the fight!  Where more ULTRAVIOLENCE 
is taking place!"

"Get your freaking rat off of me!" Yashiro cried, dodging the 
blows from Mew.

James grinned from his safe vantage point across the ring.  
"Not yet."  He pulled out another pokeball.  "Arbok!  Wrap 
attack!"

The reptilian pokemon bounded out of his ball and snagged 
his tale around Yashiro's foot, yanking him off-balance and 
knocking him to the ground in the process, then sat on top of 
him.  It then looked questioningly at James, as Yashiro 
struggled beneath him.

"Yash-chan!" Shermie bounced at the edge of the ring holding 
her hand out.  "Let me in!  I can fight!"

Yashiro sighed as the referee walked over to start the ten 
count.  "No, Shermie.  I'll beat them."  He strained against the 
pokemon's grip.  James walked over and hit him in the head 
with one of Jessie's crutches.  Yashiro passed out.

"Arbok!  Return!" James put the pokeball away and walked 
towards Jessie, helping her into the ring so that they could 
strike a victory pose together.  "We are the champs!"

Jessie nodded in agreement.  "Yes, we are!  We are the better 
fighters!"

Shermie glared at Jessie. "No you aren't.  We are, and we're 
going to prove it to you!  Just wait!"  She grabbed Yashiro's 
arm and dragged him out of the ring quickly.  "I will show 
Daisuke-chan I'm the best."

James blanched.  "You don't think they'll come after us again, 
do you?"

Jessie looked uncertain.  "I hope not."

Jack walked over to Team Rocket and clapped them both on 
the back, almost knocking Jessie down if Shingo had not 
stepped  in and caught her.  "Congratulations you two!  Now, 
let's go get James ready for his next match."

James groaned.  "I can hardly wait."

*****

Click.  Click.  Click.  Click.  SKRONNNNGGGGG.

"General Protection Fault," the chiming, musical voice of 
Yggdrasil spoke.  "Beirut is now covered in grape jello."

"ARRGH!!" young Skuld the Goddess wailed, pulling at her 
hair.

If she could remember which God had designed the Third 
Impact subroutine into Yggdrasil, she'd go back in time and 
bop him one with her hammer.

It served no conceivable purpose that SHE could see other 
than to screw everything up.  Everybody dies and whoever's at 
the center of the impact gets control over the universe?  God 
him-or-herself unable to do anything?  What was the POINT?  
Seemed a ridiculously dangerous thing to leave lying around.

But then again, wasn't that always the way?  The Godhead had 
swapped around more often in the last few years than in the 
last from aeons, all because the Gods were... less than all-
seeing, all-knowing, wise and loving.  She'd be the first to 
admit (in quiet whispers to a trusted confidant) that the God 
which came before Kasumi was a blithering idiot.  Putting the 
Godhead up in a fighting contest--!  Of course, that's what 
Kasumi did as well, and Jack, and so on...

They never thought about the little people.  Not the silly 
mortals, of course, but the staff of Heaven who had to clean up 
after the mess.  That's why she was here on a Sunday, tapping 
away at the metaphorical keyboard of Yggdrasil, error 
checking and spot fixing reality after the wake of Third 
Impact.  A nice Sunday, too.  A Sunday when she could be 
flying the new polyfiber enhanced kite she had designed...

But NOOOO, here she was, working overtime.  Despite her 
Iron Sysadmin training ('Nor rain nor sleet nor script 
kiddies...'), this was pushing her patience.

At least she had enough time to get Shinji to a special life 
support tank she had designed before she was chained to the 
debugger, so to speak.  He'd be fine in a week or two.  She 
owed him that much...

SKROONNNGGG.  "General Protection Fault in Idaho," 
Yggdrasil spoke.  "It is now raining potatoes over Boise."

"They can deal with it," Skuld mumbled.  "I've got serious 
errors in St. Petersburg and Zimbabwe to take care of first..."

Sometimes the most important realizations come a little too 
late.

It's almost, she thought, as if the system was generating bugs 
itself just to keep her busy...

"Incoming entity.  At high speed from sector zero zero zero 
prime of Creation."

"Whoever it is can take a number," Skuld replied, only half 
listening as she punched in the sequence for accessing reality 
over the former Soviet Union.  "Hrm.  Actually, who is it?"

"Accessing."

Moments passed.  That's odd, she thought.  The system rarely 
has to go to the database to identify an angel or goddess.  It 
was designed to keep their records in cache, unless they hadn't 
tried to access Yggdrasil in a long time...

With a quiet 'beep', a bare-bones file flashed up on screen.

Skuld squinted, not comprehending what she saw.  "What 
the...?  What's the Met--"

A force which could not be seen by any mortal or immortal 
eyes knocked Skuld completely out of her chair.  Alarms went 
off left and right.  Something was not normal, and lately in 
heaven, that was enough to send the troops scrambling...

Belldandy never scrambled, mind you.  Instead, she politely 
phased into existence in Yggdrasil's core, and calmly looked 
around.

"Hello," Skuld waved, from her seat at the keys.

Belldandy cocked her head.  "Is something wrong?"

"Nothing at all," Skuld said, pushing the keyboard away for 
now.  "Just a false alarm.  I'm done here.  How's Shinji 
doing?"

"He is well.  Your tank is quite a miracle, Skuld-chan," 
Belldandy complimented.  "I'm also impressed that you 
finished cleaning up after Third Impact so soon..."

"There was nothing to clean, not really," Skuld said, fetching 
her hammer.  "I've got some things to handle.  Can you log me 
out, Belldandy?"

"I suppose, but--"

A sole glass of water marked the spot where Skuld was.

*****

"WELL, MY SLIGHTLY LESS LEGENDARY THAN 
MYSELF APPRENTICE, I SEE THAT YOUR STRIKES 
ARE STRIKING MORE CERTAIN!  WE WILL 
DEFINITELY DEFEAT ALL WHO STAND IN OUR WAY 
IN THIS TOURNEY!"

"Thank you, sensei."  Kunou stepped through the kata swiftly, 
gracefully, as his ancestors must have done years before him.  
Nabiki and Morrigan exchanged brief mutual glances of some 
admiration, then cleared their throats politely and watched 
with amusement as the two fighters clumsily straightened 
themselves out for their employer and her companion.

"Nabiki," Kunou nodded.

"Kunou, just the man I wanted to see." Nabiki smiled brightly 
and sidled up to the fighter.

"...Yes?" Kunou intelligently replied.

"I'd like you to work for me, directly that is," Nabiki said, 
placing her hand gently upon Kunou's chest.  He trembled.  
She smiled.  "You want that Lambda belt, don't you?  I need 
someone in that division to capture the title for me..."

Morrigan swished over to Haohmaru and brushed herself up 
against him seductively.  "Yes, we'd *really* appreciate it."

The Samurai gulped.

****

"Well, that was easy," Nabiki said.

Morrigan giggled.  "I told you it would be a piece of cake."

Nabiki frowned, "I just hope they don't mess up."

Morrigan smiled at Nabiki.  "I'm sure everything will turn out 
just fine."

*****

"Well, hello you two.  Chris and I greatly enjoyed your fight."

Shermie and Yashiro stopped.  "Xelloss-kun...we're sorry," 
Shermie said.  "We'll do much much better next time!"

"Now, Shermie-chan, I believe you.  And I've thought of the 
perfect way you can make it up to me," Xelloss said, smiling 
brightly.

Yashiro spoke up, "What is it, Xelloss?  We'll do it!"

Chris nodded, "Right away!"

Xelloss thoughtfully stroked his chin. "Actually, this is a 
special assignment for Shermie-chan.  She lost at REBOOT 
last week to Jessie, which disappointed me greatly."  He 
smiled slightly at Shermie's downcast face.  "And then, all of 
you failed to prevent the world from being restored.  No, this 
is something only Shermie-chan can do, to prove her loyalty."

Shermie formed a fist with her hand, and held it up 
triumphantly as she cheerily cried, "Whatever it is, Xelloss-
kun, I'll do it!  I'll make all of you proud of me again!"

"Very good," Xelloss nodded.  "I want you to kill Daisuke."

Her face paled.  "Dai--daisuke-chan?"

"You've been practicing for ages for this, haven't you?  All of 
the stalking, the new toys -- you know, the sharp shiny ones?  
This shouldn't be a problem for you."  Xelloss waggled a 
finger at her.  "Now, be a good girl and go do that, hm?  As 
for me, I'm going to take care of some other business.  
Yashiro, Chris, go find something to occupy your time.  
Maybe practice, after all, Chris hasn't exactly been doing that 
well in Gamma, now has he?"  Chris blushed.  Xelloss simply 
smiled wider.  "I'll see you later.  Ta."  He winked out, the 
afterimage of his smile hanging in the air for a moment.

Chris nodded. "You heard what he said.  Let's go practice, 
Yashiro."  He turned and walked off in the direction of the 
training dojos without a backwards glance.

Shermie had sunk to the floor and was clenching and 
unclenching her fists.  Yashiro started to follow after Chris, 
but then stepped towards Shermie and knelt down next to her.  
"Sure you can handle this alone, Shermie?"

She nodded.  "I'll...I'll be fine, Yash-chan."

Yashiro stared at her for a moment, gave a slight nod and 
stood up.  "Good.  Don't screw up or anything, okay?  We'll 
train together later."

*****

"Wasn't that a WONDERFUL FIGHT?  Next up, we have lots 
of WAI WAI ULTRAVIOLENCE when Dark Schneider and 
Dan HIBIKI FACE off!"  Sana bounced excitedly in her chair, 
dark patches below her eyes. Tarou glanced over at her again. 

"Sana?"

"Wai!  Yes, Pant*cough,cough*," Sana covered her mouth 
with her hand and started blinking very rapidly.

"Sana?"  Tarou leaned closer to the little girl and, not knowing 
really what else to do, poked her.  She collapsed.  "...Crap.  
Medic?"  Medical personnel immediately ran in, with Nabiki 
following shortly afterwards.

"What's going on, Tarou?" Nabiki demanded.  "The crowd is 
getting restless.  I turned off the feed from here, but they know 
that something's going on."

A medic stood up from taking stock of Sana's situation and 
bowed to Nabiki.  "Ms. Tendou, it appears that Sana has 
overexerted herself.  She just needs to rest for a week or so 
and she'll be fine."

"What?  So she can't finish announcing the show tonight?"

The medic nodded her head.  "No, I'm afraid not."  She waved 
the emergency team to carry the child star out of the 
Ultradome.  "We must be going along now.  Good luck with 
the show."

Tarou grinned.  "So, does this mean I finally get to announce 
alone?"

"No."  Nabiki pulled out her cell phone and made a quick call.  
"Put on a commercial."

"But the only commercial we have is for that show you didn't 
want us to advertise, Ms. Tendou," was the response.

"I don't care.  Just air out.  We need time."  Clicking the phone 
off, she turned to Tarou.  "I'm going to get us an announcer, 
even if it will cost me, we need someone to balance your 
certain...flair out."

Tarou blinked.  "Who?"

"Oh, you'll see."

*****

A white room outfitted with a white couch and a white 
television set appeared on the screen.  Then a door opened in 
the white wall and a luscious blonde with long flowing hair 
and dressed in a slinky red dress walked out.  She sat down on 
the couch, arranged her assets for the best camera view, and 
turned on the TV.  The NeoFighters logo floated onto the 
screen.

"NeoFighters!  An mtcff Ultra production, every Wednesday 
at midnight!"

The woman turned to the camera and smiled seductively.  "So, 
what will *you* be watching?"

*****

Hiroshi heard the phone ringing and promptly ignored it, 
waiting for Ultra to come back on.  Team Rocket had beat the 
Disciples, good, good.  Let's see...who was up next?  Dark 
Schneider and Dan?  Being a DanFan, it was pretty obvious 
who he was going to cheer for in this match.

"Hiroshi?"

"Yes, Mom?"

"Nabiki's on the phone for you, and there's a helicopter 
landing in the backyard."

"...Thanks, Mom."

*****

Nabiki had told him to stall, so stall he did.  "Well, that was 
NeoFighters, a new Ultra production that airs on Wednesday 
nights at midnight!  Right after the Rubber Lovers Club Hour 
and before Edo's Pet Corner!"

The crowd looked slightly interested, so he continued.

"Now you'll have Ultraviolence two nights a week!"

The crowd cheered.

Tarou tried to think of what else to say.  "...Akari Jameson is 
the announcer.  She was on that commercial just now."

The crowd wondered when the show would get started again.

"And I bet you can't wait til that exciting Dark Schneider and 
Dan Hibiki match.  We'll get to see Darshu beat the crap out of 
the Pink Thing!"

The crowd started booing.  Tarou realized exactly why he 
needed an announcing partner.

"OR we'll see Dan Hibiki's glorious taunting attacks and a lot 
of ULTRAVIOLENCE!"  Hiroshi yelled into a mic as he ran 
into the Ultradome, slightly winded.  "I'm 
baaaaaaaccccckkkk!"

The crowd broke out into applause as Hiroshi ran up to the 
announcers' table.  Nabiki appeared beside him and motioned 
for a cameraman to start recording.  Nodding when her face 
flashed onto the Ultratron, she started her speech.  "Sana-chan 
overexerted herself too much, so she's going to be resting up 
for a bit."  Seeing the crowd's startlement, she waved her hand.  
"Don't worry, she'll be fine.  She just needs to rest.  But while 
she's gone, Hiroshi has agreed to come back to Ultra to 
announce for a bit!"  The crowd roared with approval.  "So 
now I'm going to put this show in the capable hands of Hiroshi 
and Tarou!  The next fight will be exciting, between Dark 
Schneider and Dan Hibiki!  Let's start!"

Nabiki waved the cameraman away and turned off her mic.  
Hiroshi glanced at her, then at Tarou.  Seeing Nabiki's nod, he 
turned off his mic and looked directly at Tarou.  "My terms 
are non-negotiable.  If you harass me, I quit.  And if I'm forced 
to get together with Lilith, I quit.  Got that, Pantyhose?"

"What?"  Tarou turned to Nabiki.  "Uh, what's going on here?"

Nabiki looked coolly at Hiroshi while she explained to Tarou.  
"He's set conditions, and if we didn't need him right now we 
would never have agreed to them.  First, like he said, don't 
harass him.  I want you to cooperate with him.  Secondly, I am 
not allowed to set him up with Lilith since he believes that he's 
in love with Rei."

Hiroshi flushed.  "I am in love with Rei.  The only reason I 
agreed to this is on the off chance that I might see her again."

Nabiki nodded.  "Very well.  Get to announcing, we have a 
show to run.  Dan and Darshu should be entering their arena 
any moment now."

The two announcers nodded and took their positions while 
Nabiki quietly exited.

"Now it's time for the big match between Dan and Darshu!  
Who will win?" Hiroshi yelled into his mic.

Tarou smirked.  "You have to ask?  Dark Schneider, of 
course."

"And this match will be taking place on the lovely space 
station--" Hiroshi was interrupted by an assistant handing him 
a slip of paper.  "Well, it looks as though this match has been, 
ah, rescheduled to a different venue."  He pointed down at the 
ring.  "They're going to be fighting it out here!  Live, in the 
Ultradome!"

Tarou grabbed the note.  "They're doing a...karaoke contest?"

Hiroshi grinned.  "This will be fun.  Look, there's the Omega 
ref now!"  Krillin walked onto the ring, which had been hastily 
made into a stage, and waved at the crowd.  He was holding 
two packages and appeared to be waiting for the contenders.

Heavy rock blared out of the speakers in the Ultradome as 
Dark Schneider, Commander of the four lords of Havoc, 
Defender of the Kingdom of Metallicana, and Omega champ 
walked in.  Heading towards the ring, he paused to smirk at 
the crowd, then went over to Krillin, who handed him one of 
the packages.

"Look!  There's Dark Schneider!  And what's in those 
packages?" Hiroshi received another note.  "Oh!  Those are 
the costumes for the karaoke contest!  This should be 
interesting."

"Costumes?"  Tarou picked up the note and looked at it. 
"Where did these come from?"  He was drowned out as "Kung 
Fu Fighting" started pumping out of the speakers with intense 
volume.  Then the Macho Man himself, Taunting Godhead 
Legend Stone Cold Dan Hibiki, appeared in a flash of pink 
light on the ring.  He bared his manly forearm and cried, 
"OYAJI!"

"OYAJI!" Hiroshi echoed excitedly from the announcer's 
table.  "Finally, Dan's here!  Now, let's see 'em put on those 
costumes and get to work!  According to the rules set up for 
this unique match, the crowd will choose who is the better 
singer by applause!  Krillin will judge the amount of applause 
each fighter gets."  Krillin nodded from his position in the ring 
and handed Dan his package, then directed them to the 
improvised dressing rooms set up in the corners of the rings.

Tarou's line crackled.  "What's going on, Tarou?  I thought 
they were being sent to duke it out in that space station?"

"Apparently someone messed with the instructions given on 
the computer, changing them to this," Tarou responded.  "Do 
you want me to cancel this match?"

Nabiki's line went silent, then, "Let it go on.  If we stop it now 
it will cause our ratings to go down."

"Yes, Ms. Tendou."

*****

Jack chortled as he watched the two fighters exiting their 
dressing rooms.  "This will be FUN."  He turned to his 
companion.  "Thanks Lain-chan."

Lain nodded.

*****

"Well, the two fighters are out now.  What's that that they're 
wearing?" Hiroshi said, looking at the ring.  Dan walked out 
of his dressing room clad in a pink and white fuku.  His manly 
chest was partly exposed and he took advantage of that to pose 
for the laughing audience.

"OOSHA!  And where is my competitor?  Or is he too shy and 
girlish to come out in this somewhat spiffy ensemble?"

Darshu stomped out of his dressing room, his clothing covered 
somewhat by his cape.  He grabbed a microphone from Krillin 
and glowered at Dan.  "What is the meaning of this?"

Krillin grinned and snatched the cape off of Darshu, revealing 
him to be in a similar outfit to Dan, only blue and white.  His 
muscles bulged underneath the thin material of the fuku.  
"Well, this is a special karaoke match, Dark Schneider.  You 
and Dan here are going to do a duet to 'Otome no Inori'."

"What?!"

"Are you not up to it, Dark Schneider?  Are you afraid that my 
superior singing prowess will surpass yours?" Dan pointed at 
the screens set up by the ring.  "I am ready to begin!  Put the 
words on there and I will amaze you with my super karaoke 
powers!"

Darshu groaned.  "Fine.  I'll do it.  I'm singing Lina's part."

"Then I shall sing Amelia's part, the peace-loving princess 
who fights with the Hammer of JUSTICE!"

Darshu sweatdropped.  "Just start the music, please?"  The 
words floated upon the screen and the music started.

The two stood side by side, each holding a  hand up to the sky.  
"To this small girl," Darshu choked, "Loving is wonderful, my 
da-arling!"

Lina  happened to flip on Ultra at this time, stared at the 
screen for a few moments, and then fell over laughing.

Darshu looked as though he might be violently ill.  "A 
glistening rouge..."

"A longful dre-eam!" Dan bopped along the edge of the stage, 
smiling brightly.

"A pink...peach?" Darshu exclaimed, but caught himself and 
joined in with Dan on the next line.

"I want to reach for it -- a maiden's prayer!"  The two shifted 
positions and started walking along the stage.

"I float to the night sky -- the silver of this happiness!
I like to shake the waves of darkness
My  little heart is aching so profoundly
Let my heart leap into your origin!"

Dan started crying manly tears, while Darshu bit out more 
lyrics.

"I bet you, let me reach, it's this maiden's will
It's all I am, this pretty me."

During the brief instrumental break, Dan started working the 
crowd by prancing up and down the stage, showing off his 
manly legs that were accentuated by the pink high heels.  
Darshu glared at the laughing fans.

"To this small girl loving is
wonderful, my da-arling!"

"I'm giddy, that cologne," Darshu sang flatly.

"A BEAUTIFUL DREAM!" Dan sang exultantly.

"...a light blue parasol."

"I wish it would come true, it's this maiden's will!"  Dan 
moved back to stand next to Darshu and prodded him slightly.  
Darshu ignored him.  This time, the audience joined in with 
the chorus, clapping with the rhythm. 

"I float to the night sky -- the silver of this happiness
I like to shake the waves of darkness
My little heart is aching so profoundly
Let my heart enter into your origin!"

Dan grinned encouragingly at the audience while Darshu 
plotted his revenge.

"I beg you,  let me reach, it's this maiden's will
The last kiss is a boomerang
This boomerang is a ticket for a one-way trip!"

Dan moved to stand in the center of the stage and held his arm 
out to the crowd.  "It's all I am!  This pretty me!"  He thumped 
his manly chest emphatically while the crowd hollered with 
laughter.

Not to be outdone, Darshu shoved Dan out of the way and 
sang, "I feel like I'm on top of a white Pegasus!"

Together, they sang the final lyrics, "Delivering the jigsaw 
puzzle of love's last piece!"

The audience gave them a standing ovation, clapping for five 
minutes straight before finally lowering enough in volume for 
Krillin to be heard over the speaker system.  "Okay!  Wasn't 
that special?  Now, by a show of loudness, who was the better 
performer?  Was it Dark Schneider, current Omega belt 
holder," the audience burst into polite applause, "Or Dan, 
former Gamma belt holder?"  The waves of sound issuing 
from the audience almost knocked the people on stage off.  
Krillin sweatdropped.  "Well, that's that then.  I judge Dan to 
be the winner!"

"OOSHA!  I am the karaoke CHAMP!"

"Wow, what an interesting match, folks!" Hiroshi shouted.  
"And Dan is the MAN!"

"If you think that what he is can be called a man, then yes he 
is," Tarou said dryly.  "Next up is the match with Yuffie and 
Naga.  Yay."

Hiroshi pounced on Tarou's last comment.  "YAY is right!  
This will be a match worth seeing!"

*****

Forms, forms, AOL diskette, forms, bills, forms, forms, AOL 
diskette...

Bills?

Man, the phone company could screw you even HERE.

Lina tossed the offending envelope into the trash.  If Ma Bell 
wanted to send some kneecapers after her for not paying for 
long distance service, she welcomed them.  See 'em try to deal 
with the Lord Almighty...

It might be a nice change of pace, actually.  Lately, 
NOTHING had been going well for her, God or not God.  
Xelloss twisting Cloud into this war.  Third Impact nearly 
wrecking all of creation.  And now, as if it was punishment for 
saving the world, she had to deal with Heaven's red tape 
bureaucracy just to get things done and clean up the world!

Sorceress supreme, enemy of all who live, Dragon Spooker, 
Lina had been called many things -- but she never wanted to 
be Lina Inverse, Paper Pusher.  So, just this one time, she 
pushed all the paper on her desk directly into an incinerator 
box of Holy Fire.  (Including a written request from Nabiki for 
videotapes of Third Impact so she could put them in the PPV 
replay.)

There was a knocking upon the office door of the All Mother.

"If it's bad news, take it to someone else!" Lina called out.

The door opened a crack, and the young goddess peered in.  
"Is this a bad time, Lina?" Skuld asked.  "It's rather 
important..."

"Oh, Skuld," Lina said, relieved it wasn't someone telling her 
the world had broken in half or was coated in red paint or 
anything.  "Come in, come in.  What's up?"

"I was wondering if we could decommission Yggdrasil," 
Skuld asked, after walking in.

"......" Lina replied.  "Um.  Yggdrasil?  The root tree of life?  
The computer that the whole of reality rotates around?  
Without which we are--"

"It's not needed, actually," Skuld explained.  "It was installed 
sixteen thousand years ago by an earlier God who felt there 
needed to be more modernization around Heaven.  To tell the 
truth, all those bugs it detects?  It's creating them.  That God 
had a very unusual concept of work ethic and didn't like 
laziness... so he made a machine to create problems for the 
Goddesses to handle."

"Cute joke, Skuld.  I needed a laugh.  But I'm actually really 
busy--"

"It's not a joke, Lina.  In fact, I'd suggest looking at a few 
other tried and true traditions around here," Skuld 
recommended.  "You'd be surprised how often they're 
superfluous.  Like Third Impact, remember?  A relic from a 
long gone God whose original purpose for it was lost to the 
winds of time.  If someone had noticed it lying around like a 
bad apple waiting to turn up and deleted it instead of 
launching all those angels against Tokyo-3, we wouldn't be in 
this situation."

"Ah... I see, I see," Lina said, a little uncomfortable.  She 
wasn't dense.  Something was strange here with the young 
goddess.  "So... remove Yggdrasil?  How?  I thought 
everything would crash without it."

"Don't you have faith in the universe, Lina?" Skuld asked, 
leaning on her desk.  "If you drop an apple, it falls.  If an 
object is set on fire, it combusts.  The planets whirl around the 
stars.  It's like clockwork; the gears turn and you, the one with 
the Godhead, have nothing to do with that.  You can change 
the gears around to your liking, as most Gods did... quite 
freely... without putting a lot of thought to it... but the gears 
keep turning, with or without you, and without Yggdrasil.  
Trust me.  It can be done, and nothing will explode if it's 
uninstalled carefully."

"Is there something going on I should know about, Skuld?" 
Lina asked.  "This isn't like you.  I thought you loved 
computers.  And you're acting surprisingly mature about this."

"Oh, I do love computers," Skuld explained.  "Flawless 
machines.  Infinite creative potential.  Terrific, really.  It's the 
software of human error that makes them go wrong.  Sorry to 
take up so much of your time with such a minor thing -- I'll be 
going.  I've got things to take care of.  I'll speak with you 
again."

"Riiight," Lina said, unsure.  "Good.  You do that."

Skuld smiled, bowed, and made her way to the door... pausing 
just before stepping that final foot out of God's office.

"By the way, where's the answer?" she asked.

Lina looked up.  "Eh?  The what?"

"I see.  Never mind," Skuld answered, and closed the door 
softly.

God's finger went to the buzzer of her intercom.

"Have Belldandy summoned to my office, please!" Lina called 
out, nice and loud (to compensate for the intercom's faulty 
microphone.)  "And I want records of everything Skuld has 
been doing for the last few hours.  Something's not right here."

*****

"Wasn't that last match REALLY SOMETHING, Tarou?" 
Hiroshi shouted.

"Yeah," Tarou replied dryly, "A real gas.  Someone get me 
some Mylanta."  He was set upon by several nearby medical 
personnel bearing bottles of indigestion medications.

"Ask and ye shall receive!" Hiroshi enthused.  "But now we 
should get to our next match-up!  This one is sure to please 
quite a few fans out there!  In a non-title Omega bout--"

"All of the matches are non-title till after the pay-per-view.  
Naga doesn't have the title anyways, Dark Sckneider does," 
Tarou commented.

"--to get her feet wet, newcomer YUFFIE KISARAGI will be 
up against everyone's favorite saucy sorceress, NAGA THE 
WHITE SERPENT!" Hiroshi finished, panting slightly.  He 
was a little out of practice.

Tarou rolled his eyes.  "Great, more fun with Magical Melons 
and her grating laugh.  Do I get hazard pay for this?"

"NO!" his co-anchor rejoiced.  "So ARE WE READY TO 
RUMBLE?"

"I'm ready to deck you, does that count?" the cursed one 
muttered.

Hiroshi shot him a dirty look, then continued, "This 
unprecedented match will be held in the lovely suburb of 
Glastonbury, Connecticut!  Something never seen in an 
Omega match -- well not for a while, at least!  They will 
actually be fighting in a POPULATED AREA!  Isn't that 
UNREAL?"

"Hold up," Tarou said, signaling he was serious.  "You mean 
we're unleashing *Omega* level combatants in a suburban 
environment?  Are you people out of your *minds*?  
Remember what happened the last time?"

The radio from the control room buzzed. Nabiki's voice 
crackled: "Ratings.  Besides, have you ever been to 
Glastonbury?"

Tarou shook his head. "I'd never heard of it before now," he 
admitted.

"Then sit back.  You don't know what kind of suburb you're 
dealing with here." The radio buzzed again, then cut out.

Hiroshi turned back to his mic.  "SO I SAY AGAIN-- ARE 
WE READY TO RUMBLE?"

"WE'RE READY!" screamed the rabid fans, tearing at their 
clothing in near Bacchic-ecstacy.

"THEN LET'S GET TO IT!  TO THE DOME!"

][  OMEGA MATCH #2
][  NAGA THE WHITE SERPENT VS. YUFFIE KISARAGI
][  FIGHT!

An interdimensional portal opened up onto a quiet park in the 
middle of a charming suburb.  A fountain splashed quietly 
while birds chirped gaily and children sped past on their way 
to the hobby store.  Traffic was light, the sun was shining, and 
life was good in Glastonbury.

The euphoric atmosphere was shattered by an ear-piercing 
"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Naga the White Serpent surveyed her surroundings with some 
surprise.  Where were the dry, desolate canyons and 
unpopulated rock deserts?  Did she take a wrong turn in the 
portal subspace somewhere? No, someone of her greatness 
could not possibly have made such a mistake.  She shrugged, 
bosom bouncing in defiance of gravity, and awaited the arrival 
of her opponent.

The sorceress didn't have to wait long.  Another portal opened 
up not ten feet away and spilled forth a young girl in tan shorts 
and a green shirt.  She wore some sort of body armor on her 
left arm, and had what appeared to be some sort of brace on 
her left leg.  In her right hand was a shuriken of impossible 
size.  Her eyes roamed the landscape mischievously.

"*Ahem*," Naga cleared her throat.  "You must be the little 
girl who has come to try to defeat ME, Naga the White 
Serpent, in single combat before thousands of my adoring 
fans!  However I, Naga the White Serpent, will quash your 
dreams where they stand because you are highly outclassed! 
OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

The girl looked up, and a sly grin crept across her face.  "You 
think so?"  And without another word, she whipped her 
shuriken in Naga's direction.

"What the -- HEY!" Naga ducked, the weapon nearly grazing 
her.  She turned to Gokuu, who was just stepping out of a 
portal that had opened directly over the fountain. "Can she do 
that?  Just hurl something at me without warning?"

Before the referee could answer, Yuffie pulled out another 
large shuriken from subspace.  Something small and jewel-like 
flashed as she proceeded to hurl shuriken after shuriken at her 
opponent, who ducked and spun repeatedly, cursing all the 
while.

"Now wait just ONE minute here," Naga panted, chest 
heaving, as she dodged Yuffie's high-speed attacks.  "Can't we 
-- *huff* -- Oh for crying out -- *puff* -- THAT'S IT! ZELAS 
GORT!"

The air was suddenly filled with jellyfish of all shapes and 
sizes.  Some poor creatures were mercilessly cut down by 
Yuffie's lightning-fast attacks, while others landed harmlessly 
in the fountain.  Still others fastened themselves to each 
combatant's heads and bodies, meeping impossibly.  

As one landed over her face, Yuffie growled, "Tifa didn't 
HAVE materia for this!"  She peeled the sea creatures off her 
throwing arm and her head, then started doing some sort of 
rhythmic motion with her arms.  In a frenzy of movement, she 
dashed around Naga's form and struck the sorceress in several 
places with the shuriken.  Naga's clothing fell away in bits and 
pieces.

*****

"What the HELL was that?" Tarou asked.

"Looks like Yuffie got off a LIMIT BREAK! What a GAL!" 
Hiroshi screamed, turning several shades of red, followed by 
purple, then approaching blue.

Tarou gave his co-announcer a withering glance.  "Try 
breathing sometime.  You might like it."

Hiroshi grinned back.  "Try dying sometime.  The fans might 
like it."  He turned back to the monitor.  "Well, I see we're 
getting our usual bit of fanservice from Naga!  Wonder what 
she'll do next!"

"Hopefully get some real clothes and swallow one of those 
jellyfish whole," Tarou commented.

*****

"FREEZE ARROW!"  Naga the White Serpent cried, 
oblivious to her nigh-nakedness.  The icy blast hit Yuffie 
directly in the chest and sent her sailing across the town 
center.  She landed in a pile of slowly drying jellyfish, which 
cushioned her fall only slightly.

It was at that moment that the local police arrived.

"Excuse me, ladies," an officer said, striding into the town 
center.  He carefully avoided dirtying his spit-shined shoes on 
the gelatinous sea creatures.  "Is there a problem here?"

Naga glared at him.  Yuffie picked herself up from the ground 
and wiped jellyfish-ooze from her clothing.

"You do know we have a town ordinance against having 
unlicensed pets out in public," the officer continued, pulling 
his citation pad out of a pocket.  "I'll have to write you up for 
this."

Neither of the combatants could think of a dignified response. 

Officer Oblivious started jotting on his pad.  "Oh, and miss?" 
he addressed Naga,  "I'm sorry, but we have regulations about 
the sort of clothing you can wear in public in this town.  Shirts 
must cover the midriff, and shorts can't be more than four 
inches above the knee.  I'll have to write you up for that as 
well."

Naga found her voice.  "Excuse me, sir, but you seem to have 
mistaken me for a common peasant from this area.  Do you 
not recognize the beautiful, talented Naga the White Serpent, 
Greatest Rival and Friend to Lina Inverse, current God?"

"I'm sorry, miss, but all I see is a large-breasted woman 
wearing entirely too little clothing," the nice officer replied, 
still writing.

"Are you insulting my fashion sense, little man?" The 
sorceress's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What fashion sense?" Yuffie muttered.

The officer looked up from his notes. "No, miss, I'm just 
telling you that you need to put on more clothes.  Prostitution 
is cause for arrest in this town."

Yuffie fell over laughing.  Naga's reaction was a bit different.

"Prostitution, indeed! I cannot BELIEVE I'm being accused of 
something so demeaning as prostitution-"

"Uh, miss?" the officer interrupted.  "Could I see some 
identification?  You seem a little young to be wearing clothes 
that revealing, and I really think I should notify your parents."

In response, Naga grew red and shrieked, "GU LU 
DOUGER!"

The sky grew dark, and something even darker could be made 
out on the horizon.  It approached quickly, becoming a large 
dragon spewing out large-scale destruction on the suburb.  
Strangely, there were no screams or flames or any signs that 
said destruction was taking place.

The White Serpent let loose a glass-shattering 
"OHOHOHOHOHOHO!" and waved her arms wildly, as if 
air-traffic-controlling the dragon's path of flight.  The dragon 
was having none of it, however.  It continued to fly in a 
straight line- directly over the town center.  Naga and Yuffie 
both dove for cover while the police officer continued to write 
up the citation in peaceful oblivion.  Naga dove headfirst into 
the fountain, among the jellyfish still there, while Yuffie tried 
to cover herself with piles of jellyfish on the ground.

Gokuu, to his credit, remained exactly where he'd been the 
entire fight: Sitting on a park bench.

The dragon roared overhead, its breath annihilating jellyfish 
throughout the town center.  Then it was past, continuing on 
its flight path to the opposite horizon.  Out of the blue, a 
crowd of conservatively dressed men and women assembled 
themselves in the line of fire, and started waving arms and 
shaking fingers and making speeches in the dragon's general 
direction.  The dragon circled them warily, still bent on 
obliterating anything and everything, then gave a pained 
squawk and ceased to exist.

At the same time, the video feed to the Ultradome went black.

*****

"Who WERE those people?" Hiroshi yelled, gripping the table 
with white-knuckled fists.

"What I want to know is, what was that spell?" Tarou said,  his 
rude demeanor eclipsed by his own sense of shock.  "I don't 
think I've ever seen Naga cast anything that powerful."

"She summoned a Dimos Dragon," came a familiar voice, 
"But she should have known better than to do it in a public 
place like that."

Both announcers turned to see the current God, Lina Inverse, 
standing near a monitor.  She had her arms crossed and looked 
none too happy.

"GOD, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!" Hiroshi roared before 
he could stop himself.  The crowd cheered hesitantly, still 
unsure of what to make of the fight.

"What, exactly, is a Dimos Dragon?" Tarou asked, elbowing 
Hiroshi under the table.  His co-announcer responded in kind 
with a heel to the shins.

Lina started pounding on the monitor.  "Well, it's a species of 
dragon indigenous to the Kataart Mountains.  The Gu Lu 
Douger summons them, but they're a pain in the ass to control.  
Normally, you can't get rid of them without a high-powered 
shamanistic or black magic spell.  Poor Naga has the power to 
summon them but can't banish them.  So I'm wondering what 
those locals had that did it."  She kicked the monitor.  "What 
the hell does it take to get some tech support around here?!"

Immediately, several technicians were dispatched to get the 
monitor working again, as well as reestablish video feed from 
the Omega match site.  After several applications of 
percussive maintenance, the monitors around the Ultradome 
came back to life.  

*****

Naga the White Serpent dragged her soaked self out of 
Glastonbury's town center fountain, hair dripping and jellyfish 
clinging to her body.  She was unharmed, however, by the 
Dimos Dragon's attack on the suburb.  The jellyfish on the 
ground, outside of the fountain, had not faired as well; there 
was a coat of sea-creature slime layered over the entire town 
center.

The police officer still stood where he had before the dragon 
passed overhead, writing in his citation book.  He looked up as 
Naga shook herself off and said, "Swimming in the fountain, 
that's a seventy-five dollar fine right there, miss, crisis 
notwithstanding."

*****

There was a collective "..." from the crowd at the Ultradome.

"But WHERE'S YUFFIE?!" Hiroshi cried to the monitor.  
"THIS FIGHT STILL ISN'T OVER!"

*****

Naga ignored the officer and shuffled off through the slime, 
pulling meeping jellyfish out of her hair.  Then her foot caught 
something and she went down face first.  She lay there a 
moment before pushing herself up and brushing the slime 
from the ground.

*****

Under a coat of obliterated jellyfish lay a very scorched and 
very unconscious Yuffie Kisaragi.  Naga prodded her 
experimentally, then, satisfied the girl was not going to get up, 
she let rip with a "OHOHOHOHOHO! Again, I, Naga the 
White Serpent, am victorious!" 

Gokuu roused himself from the park bench, only slightly the 
worse for wear, and inspected Yuffie's inert form.  He nodded 
once, raised Naga's left arm and said, "Naga the White Serpent 
is the winner."

Naga smiled, then promptly collapsed and passed out.

*****

"There you have it, folks!" Hiroshi announced.  "Naga the 
White Serpent has defeated Yuffie Kisaragi!"

The crowd came to its feet and cheered, glad to have a winner 
after all the weirdness of the fight.

"Wait a minute," Lina interrupted the celebrations.  "There's 
something I want to know.  Why did they have a match in a 
Connecticut suburb?  I thought Omega matches were reserved 
for barren planets and unpopulated regions of the worlds."

"Let me explain," Nabiki said, striding down the aisle from the 
control booth.  "Glastonbury has been looking for publicity as 
a 'Haven for the Conservative'.  It wanted to prove that its 
Dome of Conservatism was impenetrable by even the most 
destructive and bizarre of events.  I agreed that an Omega 
match would be the perfect test."

Lina Inverse, still leaning against a monitor, whirled on the 
Tendouu girl.  "But what if their Dome had been too weak? 
We could have taken out too many innocent people with a 
match like that!  Do you have ANY idea what a Gu Lu Douger 
is capable of?  Naga's lucky she's still breathing, and we still 
don't know about Yuffie's condition!  What kind of outfit are 
you running down here, anyway?"

Ultra's owner and CEO just smiled.  "You just have to trust 
me.  I'd say it was a pretty profitable experiment on both our 
parts."  She shrugged. "Besides, no one got hurt.  The Dome 
held, and if you look carefully, suburbia is happily 
undisturbed."

She was right; nothing that was originally a part of 
Glastonbury had been harmed during the dragon attack.

"In fact," Nabiki continued, "Naga probably did the smart 
thing by diving into that fountain.  And to think, I always 
figured that if she had a brain, it was in her bustline."

*****

Shermie walked silently through the halls of the Ultradome, 
stalking her prey.  The lead pipe was getting a bit slippery 
with her sweat, so she kept readjusting her grip.  There!  The 
infamous CHAOS war room, also known as the combined 
dressing rooms of Team Rocket and Shingo.  Footsteps 
sounded down the hall, Shermie ducked into a doorway to 
avoid being seen.  Peeking out slightly, she saw Jack walking 
cheerfully, engrossed in a deep conversation with Mr. Duck.

"Yes, I do think that it would be very spiff if that happened.  
But do you really think she's going to use grape jello?"

"Squeak."

"No, no!  I don't think so.  Strawberries and lemons just don't 
mix well together in my opinion."

"Squeak, SQUEAK."

"Well, if you don't want to, you don't have to.  But I'll 
certainly enjoy it."  He stopped before the door and pulled it 
open.  "I'm here!"  Stepping inside, he closed the door firmly 
behind him.  Shermie started to move in when she heard some 
more voices floating down the hallway.

"I really don't think I brought enough whipped cream, Karin."  
Two familiar figures walked down the hall together, carrying 
various packages.

"Oh, come on, Sakura.  It'll be fine.  I'm sure that they'll deal 
just fine with no whipped cream, assuming we run out."

"Well, if you say so..."

"Trust me!  I've done this many times before."  She knocked at 
the door.  "Let's go."  A figure Shermie couldn't quite see 
came to the door and let them in, then closed the door 
securely.

"Ano...what is going on in there?"  Shermie shrugged and 
hefted her lead pipe, stepping out into the hall.  She then heard 
a muffled gasp from behind her.  "Hm?"  Spinning around, she 
held up the lead pipe in front of her.  "Dai...Daisuke-chan?"

"Aaahh!  Shermie, don't hurt me!"  Daisuke cried, holding his 
arms in front of him.  "Shingo!  Sakura!  I need some help!"

Shermie looked at the lead pipe she was holding and dropped 
it.  The sound of the metal hitting the tile floor resounded 
loudly, sending echoes down the hall.  Daisuke hesitantly let 
down his arms and looked at her.  The door behind her 
slammed open and the CHAOS stable piled out to look at the 
scene.

Shermie looked up, her bangs falling away to reveal her eyes, 
which were shimmering with unshed tears.  "Dai...Daisuke-
chan...I couldn't do it..."  Shingo quietly stepped forward to 
pick up the lead pipe and handed it off to Jessie, who took it 
inside their room.

Daisuke exchanged glances with Sakura, who had moved to 
stand very close to Shermie, ready to knock her out if need be.  
"Um.  Couldn't do what, Shermie?"

"I...I don't know if I can tell you..." The distraught girl swayed 
a bit, then straightened.  She locked gazes with Daisuke, her 
green eyes boring into his soul.  Daisuke gasped.  "I just 
wanted to make you happy, Daisuke-chan.  I wanted to make 
Yash-chan proud of me.  And Xelloss-kun too!"  She shook 
her head.  "I can't make everyone happy.  Yash-chan is right.  I 
am just a ditz."  She drooped.

Daisuke cleared his throat and waved everyone away, then 
went over to stand by Shermie.  "I don't think that you're just a 
ditz."  Although she scares the bejesus out of me.

She looked up.  "Really?"

"Yeah.  You're a little scary, but you're not just a ditz.  You're 
a good fighter, too."  Daisuke realized what he just said, but 
fortunately Shermie didn't seem to notice.

"I...I've still failed.  I've got to go.  Thank you, Daisuke-chan." 
She quickly got up, bowed slightly, then ran down the hall.  
Daisuke shook his head and walked into the war room.

Xelloss blinked into existence and smiled crookedly, gazing at 
Shermie's departing form.  "Well, that wasn't a surprise.  Now 
to make some arrangements..."

*****

Daisuke entered CHAOS HQ somewhat shell-shocked.  
Shermie had just run off, and hadn't even tried to kill him.  
Well, true...she was holding a potentially deadly weapon, but 
she'd dropped it.  He idly wondered what  had happened to the 
somewhat ditzy psychopath.  Shrugging, he decided that he'd 
better attend to some more important things, such as attending 
this small meeting.

Stepping inside, he was greeted with what looked like a small 
spread.  Snacks were everywhere, some music was 
playing...and everyone was sitting quietly and staring at the 
door when he walked in.  "Um, hi guys?"

"Daisuke, are you all right?" Sakura asked.

"Where did Shermie go, anyways?" James said, peering past 
him into the hall.

Jessie pushed James aside.  "She's gone."

Jack handed Daisuke a cup of grape jello with whipped cream 
on top.  "Have a snack, Dai.  You look pale.  Paler than usual, 
that is."  Dragging him somewhat unceremoniously to a chair, 
Jack made him sit down.  "So what happened?"

Daisuke shook his head.  "Shermie told me that she was trying 
to do something, but couldn't."

"Judging from the lead pipe, I'd say she was trying to kill 
you," Sakura said.

He shuddered. "She also said something about not making 
Xelloss happy.  I'm not real sure what's going on there.  She 
seemed really upset."

Karin looked thoughtful.  "What if one of us tried to talk to 
her?"  She indicated herself and Sakura.  "We're fairly neutral 
in this whole thing."

Jack nodded.  "That might be a good idea, girls.  Just don't 
give Shermie the impression that you're interested in Daisuke 
as more than a friend."

"Oh dear Lina, who knows what she'd do to you in this state." 
Daisuke groaned.

Shingo chuckled.  "Well, Karin's definitely not, I hope.  And 
Sakura's got David."

Sakura blushed.  "Ah, long-distance relationships don't work 
out that well.  I'm afraid that we've cut it off for good."

Jack clapped Sakura on the back.  "Better keep that lead pipe 
when you go then!"

"I would go with you," Jessie started, "but we've got that 
whole rivalry going.  And James and Shingo have that match 
later."

Karin blinked.  "Forgot about that.  We'll have to find Shermie 
later than, okay Sakura?"

Sakura nodded somewhat hesitantly, but inwardly resolving to 
talk to Shermie before the day was over.

*****

"And now we're going to watch this next Omega bout, long 
awaited by many fans.  Will Mewtwo win?  Will Gally win?  
Will Washuu ever be restored?"  Hiroshi assumed a somewhat 
serious tone as he announced, then grinned.  "Will there be 
lots of ULTRAVIOLENCE?  You BET there will be!"

"Let's just go to the match, retard," Tarou interrupted as the 
Ultraton flared into life with the setting of the next Omega 
match appearing on its screen.

*****

In another time, there was a great city here.  But the world had 
moved on, and the city was gone.  The rotting shells of its 
skyscrapers dotted the dun-colored land.  The river that flowed 
on each side of the 
city had become thick and toxic centuries ago, then choked as 
the great iron bridge and the steel and stone rail line collapsed 
into it.

In the center of the city, above a desecrated plaza, a set of 
portals opened, disgorging the combatants at opposite ends of 
the square.  The referee, Krillin this time, addressed the pair.

"You both know the rules?"

A bolt of electricity passed between Gally and Mewtwo's 
gazes.  Gally's duster fluttered in the grit-laden wind.

"I want a clean, fair fight," stated Krillin, for what it was 
worth.  He prudently backed toward the far end of the square.

"FIGHT!"

][ OMEGA MATCH #3
][ GALLY vs. MEWTWO
][ FIGHT!

At the word, Gally propelled herself forward, the options 
display snapped into place over her field of vision.  Tactical 
data and attack probabilities danced across her eyes.

Across the plaza, Mewtwo flared with blue psychic energy, 
floating off the ground slightly.  >Why must we do this yet 
again, child?  You are no longer a slave to that mad woman's 
folly.<  Mewtwo gazed at the figure rushing across the 
flagstones at him.

>Washuu has her hooks in you still, I see.  Very well.<

A flare of psychic power lanced from Mewtwo's aura, running 
across the ground, ripping the worn pavement to bits. 

In the same instant, the options display shifted and Gally 
launched herself into the air...

The energy wave passed through the space mere inches 
beneath Gally's feet as she leapt out of its path.  The psychic 
flare raced the rest of the way across the open area before 
slamming into the half-fallen ruin of a skyscraper, while Gally 
sliced through the air, landing near a point where a long street 
framed by rubble emptied into the plaza, a good distance to 
Mewtwo's left.

The psychic pokemon changed the angle of flight, bring itself 
to bear on the young cyborg warrior.  Mental energy spilled 
from Mewtwo, causing a cloud of small objects to hover about 
him.

>I shall cleanse your mind of whatever mechanisms Washuu 
has used to keep you enslaved.<

Gally clenched her fists.  "You bastard...  Do you really think 
this is about something Washuu put into my head?"

>Of course.  What other answer is there?< came the 
reverberating internal echo of Mewtwo's psychic reply.  He 
raised an arm at Gally, a beam of psychic energy shrieking 
through the air towards her.

Gally didn't wait for the options to offer a course action this 
time.  Turning, Gally dashed down the rubble-littered avenue.  
An instant behind, the psychic blast gouged a crater at her 
heels.  

A sonic boom marked her departure into the ruins of the city.

*****

Moments passed, as Mewtwo floated above the city, surveying 
the streets and crumbled remains of skyscrapers beneath for 
his opponent.  Obviously, Washuu had left more of her mad 
technology to taint the mind of her former slaves.  After all, 
why else would they shun the freedom he offered them?  Once 
freed, the slave should not long for its master's lash.

This time, he would purge Washuu's influence, even if he had 
to tear the girl's mind apart and build it up from nothing.

Idly, the psychic pokemon continued scanning the cityscape, 
until a flash of blue caught his attention.  A moment later, it 
repeated, the sparks issuing from the stump of a skyscraper.  

>The child's plasma flare...<

Mewtwo spiraled downwards toward the ancient building.  
Slowly, the ping of Gally's mind within his psychic sense 
appeared.  He could see on the exposed floor of the ruin the 
lean black line of Gally's form and the flapping brown patch 
of her coat.  Coiling his mental strength, Mewtwo lashed out, 
slamming the figure with a wall of psychic force, pouring his 
Amnesia attack into her.

Mewtwo touched down, ready to claim the rightful victory and 
execute the psychic surgery the girl so obviously needed.  
Gally leaned, unmoving against the wall.

>Now we will heal you of the poison of Washuu's disrespect 
for nature's order...<  Mewtwo trailed off as he examined the 
black shape he had taken for the battle angel.  The psychic 
pokemon nudged the blackened bulk of wood with one foot, 
causing it to fall over, the coat sliding to the floor beside it.  

>Eh?< asked Mewtwo, sweeping the area for the supposedly 
blanked mind of his opponent.

Then Mewtwo's world burst in a ball of plasma fire and debris, 
as Gally burst through the floor in a burning Panzer Kunst 
uppercut.

*****

Gally landed gracefully as Mewtwo went sailing across the 
room in a cloud of debris.  Seizing the moment while the 
genetically engineered creature was still disoriented, Gally 
aimed a second strike.  With a battle cry, Gally pushed off 
leaping across open chamber, her boot smashing into 
Mewtwo's gut.  The pokemon was slammed into the far wall 
of the chamber, which held for only a second before 
crumbling.

The wall fell away, taking Mewtwo with it.  Dazed from 
Gally's blows, Mewtwo fell a substantial distance before 
pulling himself together enough to begin levitating again.  As 
he fell, Gally peered over the ledge to witness his fall.

Below, Mewtwo righted himself.

Gally dashed back to the hole she had created in the floor, 
dropping to the chamber below.

Mewtwo raced upwards.

Gally's arm snapped out, the plasma vents burning.  Moving at 
her top speed, the black-clad girl traced her arm along the 
edges of the wall.

Mewtwo continued to fly toward the highest level.

Gally launched a running jump kick at the weakened structure, 
the scored region falling outwards and Gally following.

The huge piece of falling stone from the wall slammed point 
blank into Mewtwo.  Gally touched down onto the stone, then 
bounced off, leaping with a graceful arc into a passing 
window.

Mewtwo was not so lucky, and continued to fall, hitting the 
ground, well, like a stone.  The section of wall shattered on 
impact, burying Mewtwo under a pile of rubble.

Gally wasted no time leaping and dashing her way down to 
street level.  Cautiously, she approached the pile of rubble that 
marked Mewtwo's landing point.

With a groan, the stones near the center shifted away, seeming 
to roll aside of their own accord.  Seconds passed, before 
Mewtwo levered his pale bulk out of the pile.  

>That was unpleasant.  Yet one cannot blame the child.  
Washuu's venom runs--<  Mewtwo's thoughts went silent as 
the chilly steel point of Gally's Damascus blade touched the 
back of his neck.

"Don't even think," Gally instructed.  "I want Washuu back, 
you monster."

>Even posthumously, Washuu has made you her puppet,< 
Mewtwo mentally hissed.  >That mad woman stood for 
everything I loathe.  Why should I undo my work?<

Gally increased her pressure ever so slightly, dimpling the 
skin of Mewtwo's thin neck.  "You've destroyed my friend, my 
loved one.  I don't care what I have to do, but I will save her.  
Either you do this and I let you live, or you refuse and I kill 
you and I find another way."  Gally drew a ragged breath and 
blinked away the droplets forming in her eyes.  "I am a 
Hunter-Warrior; I've killed before.  Don't think I won't do it 
now."

>I see.  Yet without Washuu's hooks, would you feel the 
same?<

Suddenly, there was pain thrumming behind Gally's eyes and a 
sensation not unlike golf balls running over her brain.  
Mewtwo's eyes snapped wide.  The pain and sensation 
disappeared.

>Inconceivable!  There's nothing -- no devices, no tampering.  
Nothing.<

"Of course, you bastard!  This is my free will!" Gally shouted.  
"I want Washuu back out of loyalty and friendship and 
compassion, not some artificial reason.  Unlike you, some 
people don't tear people's minds apart for kicks."

There was silence for a moment, before Mewtwo spoke again.  
>Very well.  I will do as you say... on one condition.<

"And what's that?"

>Next week, I will face the other child in your group and we 
shall test your loyalty, friendship, and compassion.  Should 
she win, then I will undo what I did to Washuu.  ...However, 
should I win, you will leave me be and trouble me no more.  Is 
this acceptable?<

Gally considered this for a moment.  The time frame gave 
them one week to get Nuku Nuku ready.  Could it work?      

"I accept," she stated withdrawing her blade from the 
pokemon's personal space.

>Very well,< nodded Mewtwo.  >I concede this day.  You 
have won this round,< he added.  Mewtwo rose a few feet into 
the air, and then teleported away.

Krillin stepped out of where he had been watching the match, 
and raised Gally arm overhead.  

"The winner by concession -- Gally!"

*****

"Wow." Hiroshi brilliantly commented.  "That was 
just...wow."

"Looks like the ditzy catgirl is going to get beat next week by 
the cat pokemon," Tarou said, then frowned.  "Why is it that 
Ultra has an overabundance of ditzy chicks?"

"Cute chicks, he means!" Hiroshi exclaimed.  "So, next week 
is the FINAL BATTLE between Mewtwo and the Cybergrrlz 
to get Washuu-chan back!"

*****

Xelloss walked into the training dojo, startling the pair of 
fighters currently sparring.  "Hello, gentlemen.  How are you 
doing?"

"Oh, just fine, sir," Chris replied.

Yashiro dusted his hands off, "We're getting ready.  We'll 
prove we're the best."

Xelloss waved a hand airily.  "That's nice.  I want to tell you 
that Shermie might not be coming back.  You two will be 
Lambda."

"What?  What do you mean?" Yashiro asked.

"She didn't accomplish her objective.  Now, carry on!"  
Xelloss grinned and disappeared, leaving the new Lambda 
team to silently stare at the space he had occupied a few 
seconds ago.

*****

"Our final match of the night, this one goes out to all the 
ladies!" Hiroshi exulted.

"I have no idea what women see in these guys," Tarou 
commented, looking down at the ring.

"This is a special crossover division match between the teams 
of Iori and Mousse, and Shingo and James!" Hiroshi shouted.  
"Iori and Mousse are already here!"

Iori and Mousse glared at each other down in the ring as they 
paced back and forth, back and forth, waiting for their 
opponents.  Then two spotlights focused on the top of the 
Ultradome where two figures were standing, in very artistic 
looking poses.  One of them was blushing.

"To protect Ultra from the administration!" Shingo shouted.

James nodded approvingly.  "To keep the show from 
degradation!" 

"To denounce the evils of vindictive booking!"

"To always be polished, groomed for looking!" The two 
briefly powerposed, the lights hitting them just right, so they 
appeared to have a halo of sparklies around them.

"Shingo!"

"James!" 

"Team CHAOS blast off at the speed of light!"
 
"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"

The tiniest member of Team CHAOS sighed when James 
nudged him and then said his lines, "Pikachu!  Pika pi!"  The 
trio started walking down, amid the cheers of the marking out 
crowd.

Mousse sweatdropped at the display.  "How do they always 
manage to do that?"

Iori grunted noncommittally.

Shingo and James nervously stepped into the ring after 
looking at the expressions on their opponents' faces.  "Shingo, 
you can start if you want,"

"Thanks a lot."  Shingo examined the situation.  One fighter 
was an Amazon warrior with bad eyesight but deadly skill 
with multiple weapons, and the other really hated his guts.  
Damn.  "Ah, Iori-san, would you care to start?"

His reply was a barrage of flames.

][  SPECIAL CROSSOVER DIVISION MATCH
][  IORI AND MOUSSE V. TEAM CHAOS
][  FIGHT!

"Right."

Mousse's reply was a volley of chains, toasters, and 
volleyballs.

"James!  This *is* a tornado match, want to give me some 
help?" Shingo yelled as he dodged the objects and flames.

James looked at Shingo from his vantage point in the corner of 
the ring, as far away from the fighting as possible.  
"Oh...sure...be right there."  Pulling out a flamethrower, he 
joined the fray.  "I'm the man!"

Iori looked askance at James.  "What the--?  A flamethrower?"

James shrugged, "Hardcore rules, and it evens the odds, seeing 
as you and Shingo both have flames."  He aimed.  "Have a 
nice day!" Pulling the trigger he sent wave after wave of fire at 
Iori.

Iori absorbed some of the flames, his clothes catching on fire 
and burning off, before sending back some flames of his own.  
The two fighters faced off, with Shingo and Mousse 
cautiously staying to the sides.

"Wow, look at that!  The flames are hitting hard!  Wonder 
how long this will last?" Hiroshi mused.

"Until the floof's gun runs out of fuel," was Tarou's reply.

At that moment, James' gun did start running out of fuel and 
his flames started growing smaller, and smaller... "Aiee!"  
Tossing the gun aside, James ran to cower behind Shingo.  
"Save me!"

Shingo sweatdropped.  "Um."

"Better pay attention to the fight," Mousse said as he launched 
a volley of sharp, pointy objects at the CHAOS member.  
Shingo, being fairly good at noticing things like impending 
death coming towards him, danced to the side, holding his 
hands out and throwing flames at the cursed boy.  They faced 
off, circling in the ring while Iori and James politely stood out 
of the way to let them have their spar.

"What kind of match is this?  I would've thought that Iori and 
Mousse would have kicked CHAOS butt by now," Tarou said, 
looking bored.

"They're being courteous," Hiroshi responded.  "It's a concept 
you could probably stand to learn."

Tarou growled in Hiroshi's general direction. "Feh.  I want to 
see something happening."

Then something did happen.  

"I, THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU AND MY 
SLIGHTLY-LESS-THAN-LEGENDARY STUDENT WILL 
TEACH YOU A LESSON!"	 So saying, the Samurai 
stormed the ring, their swords held high.  Haohmaru slashed at 
Mousse with his reversed blade while Kunou struck at Shingo 
with his bokken.

Mousse's robe was ripped away to reveal rippling muscles, a 
washboard stomach, and the silk pants that clung to his 
muscular thighs.  A large section of the audience -- mostly 
composed of females -- started fanning themselves frantically 
and leaning in to watch the action happening down in the ring 
a bit closer.  Shampoo was not happy.

The bokken made quick work of Shingo's ensemble, causing 
his spotless white shirt to fall gracefully to the ground, 
exposing his rock-hard pectorals, as well as his black jacket, 
the sleeves sliding off to reveal the superior musculature of his 
biceps.  A small group of girls sitting on the lowest level 
rushed towards the side of the ring to snatch some of the 
shreds from his outfit, but were forced back by Ultra's 
security.  Karin was not happy.
	
The two fighters who had been hit were also not happy.

"Don't ever interfere in a match with me," Mousse growled as 
he whipped out some heavy gauge chains and threw them at 
Haohmaru's legs, tripping up the Samurai.

"SHIIINGO KICK!" Shingo yelled as he brought his foot 
down upon the Blue Thunder's face, knocking towards Iori, 
who caught him and enveloped him in flames.

"Well!  What a match!  It looks as though the Samurai Squad 
has decided to join the fray!  And it appears as though the 
fighters who were formerly fighting one another have now 
teamed up to get rid of the interruption!" Hiroshi yelled from 
the announcing booth.

"Morons." Tarou muttered.

"Aiieee!  Do not mess with the Blue Thunder of--" Kunou 
started to protest as he brought his bokken around to bear upon 
Iori, but was promptly punched in the face and sent backwards 
towards Shingo, who simply kicked him back.  Wielding his 
bokken clumsily, he accidentally -- and through very bizarre 
luck --  sliced through Iori's choker and all the way down to 
his waistline.  Various pieces of clothing fell to the floor -- 
immediately swept away into the hands of eager fangirls 
congregating at the ring's edge -- and revealing his sleek torso, 
with the taut musculature of an acrobat.

James, however, was unfortunate enough to have Haohmaru 
run into him while spinning around rapidly from his earlier 
encounter with Mousse.  His sword caught on the Team 
Rocket member's shirt and tore it off.  The light glistened off 
of the sweat that had formed on his chest.  Several girls, who 
had been focusing upon the other, more obviously masculine 
fighters, were suddenly attracted to James, their eyes being 
pulled towards him like iron to a magnet.  Jessie was not 
happy.

Grabbing one of the chains still hanging off of Haohmaru, 
James brought it around onto his head, striking him several 
times.  Mousse joined him and hit the legendary fighter over 
the head with an anvil, knocking him down.

"And would you look at that?  The Samurai are getting 
slaughtered!  But wait!  Is that another team I see moving to 
join this madness?" Hiroshi indicated the small crowd 
gathering near the ring composed mainly of Lambda and 
Gamma fighters.

*****

In the audience, a group of five energetic girls sat watching 
the fight below with awe.  Well, four did anyways.

"Shingo is so cute!  And James has a lot more muscle than I 
thought..."

"I told you so!  James is the man!"  The second speaker bidaad 
at the first, who simply grinned.

The third girl grinned mischeviously.  "I want Iori.  Bad."

"I much prefer Mousse, myself."  The fourth girl in line 
blinked.  "I hope I remembered to set my VCR."

The last girl simply rolled her eyes at the lot of them and 
continued to watch the fight.  

*****

"Ranma, do something," Akane tugged at her fiancé's sleeve.

"I can't, Akane," Ranma replied.  "Only teams are allowed in 
there, by order of your sister."

"Well, we can team up!" She grabbed Ranma's hand and 
started pulling him towards the ring.

"Sorry, sis.  This is fanservice, after all.  Only men allowed."  
Nabiki walked up from where she'd been talking to a 
cameraman, telling him to do some more close-ups, trailed by 
Marlo.  She smiled brightly at the couple and headed off again 
to check on a few more things.

"Thunder thighs is man enough for this fight, in my opinion," 
Marlo sneered.  

"Grrr..." Akane reached for a mallet, but was stayed by 
Ranma.

"It's not worth it, Akane.  Not here and not right now."

"Suure.  You just don't want to see your little girlfriend getting 
her butt kicked by the Furnityre Savior!"  Marlo chortled.  
"And you know what?  I think I'm going to help the fearless 
and stupid duo up there."  Spotting a certain small Pokemon 
trainer, Marlo grabbed him and threw him into the ring.  
"Come on, Ash!  Let's fight!"

"Heey!" Ash cried as he was tossed through the air.

"Ash!  Are you okay?" Misty cried, running up the edge of the 
ring, only to lose Ash to her sight as he was promptly sucked 
into the growing brawl.  She was stopped from entering the 
ring by Akane, who placed a hand upon her shoulder.

"Misty, don't worry.  I'm sure he'll be fine...if it weren't for 
that jerk Marlo..."  Akane's battle aura glowed briefly, then 
flickered out.  "Well, Ranma?"

"Hm...who can I get?" Ranma looked curiously around the 
Ultradome.

"But Andyyy!  You've got to do something!  You can't just let 
them cheat like that!"

"I need a male partner, Mai.  I just can't ignore the rules." The 
silvery-blonde bishounen pushed back his hair and sighed at 
his bouncy red-haired partner.

Ranma and Akane exchanged glances.  "Hey, Andy?"

*****

"Look at that!  Marlo and Ash have just joined the battle, 
adding even more confusion to what's already going on!" 
Hiroshi yelled into his microphone.  "Poor Ash didn't even 
want to be in this fight, and he's seriously outclassed!  He's 
already been trampled, while the former Hardcore champ is 
laying about with his furniture on everyone!  If he keeps that 
up, the fighters may just turn on him."  The crowd obligingly 
broke out into booing.

"Marlo's a better fighter than all of them," Tarou commented.  
"He knows the true meaning of Hardcore."

"Oh, sure..." Hiroshi shook his head.  "But if he doesn't set up 
some kind of defense and work with some other fighters, he's 
going to be beaten on, and hard!  I doubt even Marlo can take 
that much ULTRAVIOLENCE!  I just hope that Marlo's 
clothes don't get ripped off."

"Well, that's one thing we both agree on, clone boy," Tarou 
grunted.

*****

Andy charged the ring, landing on Haohmaru, who was 
currently being held at bay with fireballs from Shingo and Iori.  

"ANOTHER CONTENDER?"  Haohmaru turned to face 
Andy.

Iori had apparently decided that he was more annoyed at 
Haohmaru for interrupting the fight than at Shingo for the 
flames, although Marlo's having joined the fight upset the 
balance.  "This is not your fight," he growled.

Ash was cowering in a corner, behind the Furnityre Savior 
who was keeping Mousse and James away by throwing pieces 
office desks at them.  Even Mousse couldn't match the huge 
pieces of furniture that Marlo was casually tossing out.  Kunou 
was near Haohmaru and helped his legendary instructor up, 
only to set him up for Andy's attack.

"UWA UGITO!"  Andy flipped in the air, his foot coming 
down on Haohmaru's head.

"KUNOU!  What are you doing?"  Ranma's voice came from 
above the samurai.

Kunou made the mistake of looking up into the heel of 
Ranma's foot as he jumped into the ring.  "Thanks for breaking 
my fall, Kunou."

"*gasp* No...*wheeze* problem...*cough* ...Ranma..."

Mousse blinked at Ranma.  "Shampoo?"

Ranma sweatdropped.  "No."

"Oh.  Okay then.  Ranma, you die!"  Mousse flung a series of 
large blunt objects at Ranma, which he easily dodged.  

Ranma batted away a barrage of rubber ducks.  "Mousse, do 
you mind?"

*****

Mai waved her fan irritably.  "I can't believe them.  Always 
getting into fights."

Akane nodded.  "Jerks."

Shampoo's eyes were following Mousse's lithe form.  "I want 
Mousse stop fighting NOW."

"We'd like Iori and Shingo to stop their idiotic feuding too." 
Karin and Yohko walked up, followed by Jessie.

"James needs to, um, fix his hair.  He looks positively 
atrocious!  He needs to leave the ring, right now!"

"I don't know, I think James looks very  nice," Sakura  noted, 
blushing slightly.  Feeling a chill go up her spine she turned to 
see Jessie glaring at her.  "Oh, but his hair...um...he should fix 
that."

"And I no want husband fighting either.  He supposed to be 
with ME!"  The girls turned to look at the green haired jungle 
resident, who was walking along with the female -- and some 
say better -- half of Team Pokemon.

"Ash doesn't know what he's doing out there.  Look at him, it's 
taking all he has to not get hit."

Mai snapped her fan decisively.  "We've got to do something."

*****

His yellow rubber glistened with the sweat from Jack's brow 
as he rode precariously upon the Controversial One's shoulder.  
His soft back bounced with delight as Jack moved on his 
mission.

Daisuke was on a mission as well.  To keep Jack from doing 
something extraordinarily stupid.

"Why, hello ladies!" Jack exclaimed as he reached the group 
of annoyed women.

"Daisuke, have you been watching this match?  Now there's 
ten fighters in the ring," Karin said, coming up to Daisuke and 
totally ignoring Jack.

"We were thinking of storming the ring, what do you think, 
Daisuke?" Akane asked.

"Or maybe just teaching those boys a lesson," Mai said.

"Ladies?  Hello?  Jack's here, no need to fear!" Jack 
pompously said, trying to get their attention.

"Well, I'm not really sure what you can do.  After all, they are 
in the fight, and it is by the rules.  And unfortunately, you girls 
aren't allowed in the ring." Daisuke said, rubbing his chin.

"Cham Cham not care about rules!  She going to get husband 
NOW!"  The green-haired girl bounded into the ring, bouncing 
off of the fighters' heads till she got to Haohmaru.  He blinked 
up at her and barely registered that the jungle warrior was 
there when she hit him on top of the head with her boomerang.  
He started to slump to the ground, but she caught him and 
dragged him off, Paku Paku hopping along behind her.

The girls looked at Cham Cham, then at Haohmaru's inert 
form, than at each other.  Shrugging, they too entered the fray.

A fan whipped out and smacked a certain blond in the face.  
"Mai?"

Mai grabbed Andy's arm and pulled him out as Akane used 
Ranma's pigtail to do the same.  Shampoo grabbed one of 
Mousse's chains and reeled him in.

"Stupid Mousse.  Put your robe back on."

Mousse blinked at her.  "Shampoo?"

Shampoo avoided meeting his eyes.  "You might catch cold."

Mousse blinked again, and then smiled goofily, trailing after 
her.

Jessie and Karin stood by watching James and Shingo.  The 
two had been forced to the side of the ring and were standing 
back to back.  Jessie grinned and pulled out a pokeball.  
"Arbok!  Wrap attack!"  The little pokemon pounced on the 
two fighters and bound himself around them.  Jessie and Karin 
walked over and pulled them out.  "Come on, you two," Karin 
said.  "Time to go."

Misty and Yohko didn't have to do nearly as much work.  Ash 
was simply pulled out from behind Marlo, and Iori was 
accidentally knocked out of the ring by a flying armchair, 
leaving Kunou and Marlo as the only two left in the ring.

Hiroshi and Tarou just stared at the scene of mass violence.  
"Well, it appears as though Kunou and Marlo are the only two 
left in the ring..." Hiroshi started.

"That makes them the winners," Tarou declared.

"Actually, the LADIES are the real winners here!" Hiroshi 
decided.  "Thank you for watching, and good night!"

*****

Sakura found the girl huddled in a corner of one of the ladies 
restrooms.  Not that she was looking for her at that moment, 
exactly, but she had needed to drop in anyways...

"Shermie?  Are you okay?"

The redhead looked up at Sakura with red eyes, barely 
comprehending her surroundings.  "Who?  Wha?  Sakura?"

Sakura knelt down by Shermie.  "Yeah, it's me.  Sakura."  She 
shifted to sit down next to the Disciple.  "Want to talk about 
it?"

Shermie sniffled a bit and wiped away some of the marks of 
her weeping bout.  "Don't tell Daisuke-chan, okay?"

Sakura nodded.  "Of course not."  I'll tell Jack and he'll tell 
Daisuke.

"Okay.  After the match earlier, Yashiro was very 
disappointed in me!  So was Chris and Xelloss!"  She paused.  
"Xelloss told me the only way to make it up to him was to..." 
She choked.  "Kill Daisuke-chan."

Sakura blinked, her eyes growing wide in shock.  "Are you 
serious?"

Shermie nodded. "That's why I was there, earlier.  But I 
couldn't do it.  I just couldn't!  I can't go back to them now."

Sakura carefully put her arm around Shermie and gave her a  
hug.  "It's all right.  We can go talk to Nabiki and get you into 
Gamma, if you want."

"I don't want to just leave Yash-chan..." Shermie blew her 
nose noisily into a tissue Sakura thoughtfully provided.

"Well then, let's just think about it, okay?  We can still go talk 
to Nabiki," Sakura said.

"Okay then," Shermie nodded, standing up.   "Let's go find 
Ms. Tendou."

*****

Computers were not Belldandy's forte.  She knew enough to 
take care of basic clerical work, but the system administrators 
of the family were always Urd and Skuld.  Urd was still 
recovering, and Skuld...

Skuld was missing.  Which is why Belldandy was poring over 
logs.  Lina had explained her sister's unusual behavior, 
behavior Belldandy should have noticed, should have done 
something about when she followed the system alert earlier... 
no.  She couldn't change the past.  The past was Urd's domain, 
anyway.

The logs showed error after error popping up, Yggdrasil 
thrown into instability after Third Impact.  Beirut.  Idaho.  St. 
Petersburg...

The next line didn't look like the others; it was a proximity 
alert, not a reality matrix flux.  Belldandy highlighted it, and 
followed the record to the database pull Skuld had done in 
response to it.

An angel?  This was an angel's record, but there was no sign 
of previous Yggdrasil login, no system identification, no bio 
on file... simply a name.  Belldandy fumbled a bit with the 
system search engine, trying to find out more about the 
mystery guest...

Five minutes later she was running for Lina's office.

*****

Kasumi Tendou (soon to be Kasumi Tofu, she hoped) was 
busy washing dishes after another pleasant evening spent with 
Doctor Tofuu, when she was visited by an angel.

The angel popped out of the dirty water she was washing 
dishes in, which took away a lot of the dramatic impact.  
Skuld looked down at her dress, now quite soiled, and sighed 
in dismay.

"Skuld-chan!" Kasumi exclaimed.

"I'm not used to this," Skuld explained, stepping out of the 
sink, and having a seat on the counter.  "It's been a long time.  
Forever, to tell the truth.  I'll have to clean this outfit later, it's 
not going to help me persuade anybody if I smell like grease... 
sorry, sorry.  I'm getting distracted.  Hello, Kasumi Tendou."

Kasumi smiled brightly.  "It's been a long time, Skuld-chan.  
How are things upstairs?"

"Awful, as usual," Skuld sighed.  "That's why I'm here, 
actually.  Listen... Kasumi, this is vitally important.  Where is 
the answer?"

"Pardon?"

"You don't remember, do you?  I was expecting as much.  
They always lose the important memories after returning to 
mortality.  Lina didn't know either, though... that means you 
DID know, and you didn't pass it on to her.  It's vitally 
important that I find it, Kasumi..."

As Skuld leaned in closer, Kasumi leaned back.  There was 
fear there, in the young woman's expression.

"...why are your eyes silvery, Skuld?" Kasumi asked.  "I 
couldn't tell until I saw up close, but... who are you?"

"Perceptive," Skuld said, smiling warmly.  "Much more so 
than Lina.  You were always one of the less problematic Gods, 
I always appreciated that... to answer you, I will say Skuld is 
here, but... she's taking a nap.  I guess that's the best metaphor 
for it.  Don't look afraid.  I just need her physical form so I can 
take care of business.  I'll release her once all this is done.  
Actually, maybe you can help me; I don't have any power 
whatsoever beyond Skuld's power, and I'm realizing that a 
little girl can't do a lot on your world.  I had a nasty time 
trying to reach the phone book to find your address, I can tell 
you that."

"Who are you?" Kasumi repeated.  "I feel as if... I SHOULD 
know you, but..."

"Hrm.  Maybe this will help?"

The infinite wings of the angel unfolded right there in 
Kasumi's kitchen.  The concept of the twin radiant planes, 
invisible to all but the most raw of nature's senses, 
momentarily sent Kasumi's mind into a tight downward spin...

The wings vanished.

"Sorry, I guess that's too much for you now, being human and 
all," Skuld apologized.  "Like I said, I'm new at this.  I haven't 
been NEEDED since the dawn of time, so my social skills are 
a bit rusty... but some part of you knows what I am.  All the 
Gods that are, were, and ever will be know me.  Lina doesn't 
seem to know, but she'll realize soon enough..."

Kasumi thought hard.  "You're... you're the..."

"I am the Metatron," Skuld stated.  "I am the voice of the One 
True God.  Creator of all creation, the origin of the universe as 
well as the very universe itself, the one who needs no 
Godhead.  And He's not very happy at the moment, I can tell 
you that for certain.  But maybe, with your help, we can find 
the answer and set a few things right before everything He's 
ever made has the chance to be unmade again."

*****

"Well, thanks to that crossover match, we've got lots of 
opportunities to maximize our profits.  Calendars, mugs, 
ooh...the possibilities are endless!"  Nabiki practically drooled 
at the thought of all the money she could make off of that 
match.  She'd have to check to see how many close-ups they 
got and perhaps sell a special edition.  They'd have to edit out 
Marlo and Ash though, most likely.  The two just weren't that 
attractive, although Ash may appeal to the younger fans...

"Do I get a match next week?" Morrigan asked from her 
position sprawled on a divan in Nabiki's office.  She idly 
stroked Wolverine's head as he lay patiently by her side.

Nabiki shook her head.  "I don't foresee it."

"Hm...well what about my...pet?"  She indicated Wolverine.

"Ah.  That we'll think about."  She shuffled a few more papers 
and gloated.  This was HER Ultra and it was making even 
more money than before.  She idly glanced at the plans for the 
huge platinum statue of herself that she was thinking of 
putting in the center of Tokyo.  Hm.  Would that be *too* 
much?  Setting it aside in the 'maybe I'll have to do that later' 
pile, she basked in the warm fuzzy feelings of her success.

*****

Author's Notes:  Yes, I know.  I didn't do the episode synopsis.  
I'm such a slacker, but the thing was a real pain.  Maybe I'll do 
it later when I have more time and tack it on.  And I'd like to add, 
that I *never* expected this to get so long.  I was shooting for 50k.  
Ah well.

This episode is dedicated to the ladies of the DGML who 
never got that Ladies Night omake that was promised them.  
So, Stephica, Yasha, Lady Chaos, Phoebe, Omi no Miko, Katy...this is 
for you.  ^_^

I'd like to say that writing this was fun.  I was never meant to 
write this episode -- I applied but didn't make it in.  The only 
reason I did get to write my own ep was because much more 
qualified authors had to drop due to various circumstances.

This isn't really my own ep, either.  Anonymous wrote the 
Mewtwo/Gally match, Stephica wrote the Naga/Yuffie match 
- she made her Ultra debut, wai!  And Twoflower wrote the 
esoteric Metatron plot setup.  I also got a lot of ideas from the 
chatroom's residents.

I'd like to thank my prereaders, Stephica, Falcon, Phoebe, 
Kristen, and Shachi.  They all got me back on various stages, 
and I'm afraid I didn't get quite everything they suggested into 
this ep, but oh well. ^_^;  I'm sorry y'all.