Even if you don't own a single time-keeping instrument - a watch, a
calendar, a sundial, or even an hourglass - you can *always* tell when it's
the day of an Ultra broadcast, if you live or work anywhere near the
UltraDome. When the sun rises on such a day, there's a tingle of anticipation
in the air, a sense of something great in the offing ... a spark of the
electricity that will light up the UltraDome that night, and set the audience
on fire for two hours of the best damn sports entertainment in the world.
     There are a few people who would argue that the energy surrounding the
day of an Ultra broadcast even reaches outside of reality - and right now,
Athena Asamiya was one of them. The teenaged idol singer/justice
fighter/martial artist had set aside some time to meditate that afternoon, but
she couldn't shake off the feeling of unpleasant anticipation, almost a sense
of forboding, which had twined itself around her nerves. Sie Kensou was
content to beat the (metaphorical) stuffing out of a punching bag, but Athena
kept finding herself distracted while she was trying to work out ... thus her
turning to meditation to try and take her mind off things; unfortunately, even
that didn't work very well, despite repeating the mental and spiritual
exercises that their teacher, Chin Gentsai, had taught to both of the
teenagers.
     Finally, Athena fell back on one of her own old favorites, visualizing a
comforting place - in this case, a grassy path through a pleasant forest
scene. That always worked for her to clear her mind, and as the scene became
clear in her mind's eye, she felt some of the uneasiness abate. She'd just
taken a couple of steps when she realized that she wasn't just visualizing the
forest path, though: she was actually in the astral plane, the realm of
"shared consciousness" which almost all psychics could reach into.
     *I must be even more on edge than I thought,* mulled Athena, *projecting
astrally without realizing it ...* The uneasiness was back in full force now;
Athena didn't usually touch the psychic realm - and the last time she had was
just before the Psycho Soldiers were captured in a Shadowlaw trap: not a
pleasant memory at all. After considering for a moment, though, Athena gave a
mental shrug and glanced down at herself, to see what her astral form was
wearing; the sailor fuku - her school uniform - brought a smile to her lips,
and she continued down the illusory path, enjoying the scenery but staying
alert nonetheless.
     Eventually, the path led into a well-lit clearing, with grass covering
the ground in a lush, verdant carpet, a clear brook running along one side of
the clearing, and various animals romping about as they played around the rock
in the clearing's center.
     ... The same rock upon which a whitish-colored monster was sitting.
     Athena's psychic defenses came up almost immediately, her astral body
shifting into a ready stance; of course, the "monster" noticed this right
away, even before it looked towards her.
     {My quarrel is not with you, human.}
     "That's ... reassuring," Athena responded warily, watching Mewtwo's
astral form carefully. The Pokemon's astral presence was even more formidable
than when one encountered Mewtwo in the flesh; again, Athena was reminded
uncomfortably of her first encounter with M. Bison, and she struggled to bury
the memories in her subconsciousness. "I'll just be on my way, then -"
     {Needless.} Mewtwo turned back to its contemplation of one of the
animals - a Pokemon of some kind, Athena noticed, although she couldn't
identify the species. {Your presence does not matter to me. Leave, or stay.}
     Athena appeared to let her guard down, although she kept her mind
shielded as carefully as she could. Telepathic combat wasn't really her strong
point, and she knew it; either way, Mewtwo was not an enemy she wanted to face
alone.
     {In case you weren't paying attention -} Mewtwo's psionic "voice"
sounded darkly amused. {- I have no quarrel with you. I strongly doubt that
you would consider opposing me.}
     "My apologies," Athena responded. "I didn't mean to disturb you, but
..." She trailed off, not sure how to phrase her thoughts. Fortunately or
unfortunately, she didn't need to phrase them in order to express them.
     And what was expressed to Mewtwo drew its attention back to Athena, its
purple eyes gleaming with a faint blue light as it regarded her again. {Unless
you seek to enslave Pokemon of your own, I will have no reason to work against
you, now or at any foreseeable time. Yet you remain uneasy ... why?}
     "I don't know," the Psycho Soldier admitted as she proceeded into the
clearing, keeping her guard up even as she approached the psychic super-
Pokemon. "I didn't plan to come here; I was trying to meditate, clear my mind.
I just have this feeling about tonight's show ... like something's going to
happen."
     {Something will.} Mewtwo glanced up at the "sky" above them. {Tonight
will be an unusual night for Ultra, I think.}
     Athena stared at Mewtwo, her uneasiness increasing. "Are you planning
something? If so -"
     {Something is planned for me,} Mewtwo responded with a sharp glance.
{Just as something is planned for you. I thought my dispute with Wasyuu and
her CyberGrrlz over; apparently they think otherwise.} The Pokemon shook its
head, purple tail wavering behind it. {Fools ...}
     "They're fighting for something they believe in," Athena replied almost
instinctively. "Just like you do, if I understand you right ... and just like
I do."
     Mewtwo's gaze returned to Athena, and this time it stayed on her, but
the would-be liberator of Pokemon remained silent. The silence was far from
comforting for Athena, but before she could continue she felt her mental
defenses crumple beneath a psychic probe. Athena tried to force Mewtwo back
out of her mind, but the Pokemon's power was even greater than M. Bison's had
been; the only difference was that Mewtwo had no interest in harming her, even
as he searched her thoughts and memories.
     {No wonder you were so wary,} Mewtwo commented idly. {Who is this ... ?}
The image of M. Bison, remembered far too clearly for comfort, loomed large in
Athena's thoughts.
     "He's ... evil," Athena managed to answer, struggling to try and
organize her thoughts. "He captured me and Kensou, enslaved us, forced us to
fight ..."
     {How familiar.} Mewtwo's mood had darkened considerably, and his astral
image was scowling visibly as he released Athena from his probe. {And you
battle the likes of him?}
     Athena nodded weakly, her mind still in turmoil after Mewtwo's abrupt
intrusion and search. "He wants to dominate the whole world ... he's still
using other fighters as his puppets, even after Kensou and I broke free of his
control. Bison's really powerful, though ..."
     Mewtwo remained silent, as though considering Athena's words. {I have
felt a presence like that in this realm, from time to time. Still ... he is of
no concern to me.}
     "You're wrong," Athena shot back as she struggled back to her feet.
"Bison wants to control *everything* - probably even you."
     {Let him try.} Mewtwo disappeared, his consciousness returning to the
physical world; the images of the other Pokemon winked out as well, leaving
Athena alone in the clearing. The Psycho Soldier took a deep breath, and
followed suit.

     Sana's eyelids fluttered, then slowly opened, letting in light and
vision. At first, all she could see was an unfamiliar ceiling. Then she
noticed the squirrel sitting in a miniature Ultradome, on top of a head more
familiar to her than anyone's but her own.
     "Maro-chan ... ?" Sana sat up. "Mama?!"
     "It's good to see you awake, Sana-chan," replied Sana's mother as she
settled back into her seat, the squirrel in her hair waving a tiny little
"Sana" pendant. "We've been worried."
     "Ohayou, Sana-chan," said a familiar male voice.
     "REI-KUN!!" Sana squealed gleefully, hugging her suave-looking manager
(and according to her, also her boyfriend and pimp) tightly enough to ruffle
his composure. "You came too! - Uh, where did you come?" Sana let go of Rei
Sagami again, looking around. "Why am I in the hospital?"
     "You collapsed during last week's Ultra broadcast," Sana's mother told
her. "Apparently the strain you've been under built up to the point where you
couldn't handle it; you've been asleep for most of the past week."
     "WHAAAA?!" Sana started to leap out of bed; a bop on the head from a
squeaky mallet, wielded by her mother, forestalled Sana's valiant return to
duty. "But I can't miss another broadcast! I'll be fired!"
     "It's all right, Sana-chan," Rei assured her. "Ms. Tendou was persuaded
to allow you full medical leave until you've recovered completely; Hiroshi was
called back in to cover for you. Your job is safe."
     "I *still* can't miss another broadcast!" declared Sana, leaping up to
stand on her bed, the hem of her hospital gown fluttering around her legs as
imaginary waves crashed dramatically behind her. "Even if I don't have to go
on-camera, I have to -"
     "Rest!" Sana's mother bopped her again with the squeaky mallet; the
child celebrity promptly collapsed back into bed. "Ultra will survive without
you, and I want you to take at least a week off from even watching it on
television. The doctor says you shouldn't be subjected to that kind of
excitement until you've completely recovered."
     "But Mama ... !"
     "No arguments, Sana-chan. You can't watch Ultra tonight. If you have to
stay up-to-date on it, I'll have Sagami-kun write up the results for you to
read tomorrow."
     Rei nodded. "Sana-chan, we've all been worried about you lately; you
haven't seemed like yourself when we saw you on Ultra."
     "I've been just fine!" Sana protested.
     "That's not what the doctor says," Sana's mother told her. "You've been
under far too much stress, from whatever source. Now rest; Sagami-kun will
stay with you while I go get some solid, healthy food for you to eat."
     Sana's stomach rumbled eagerly at the prospect of a good meal.

     "What've you got for us tonight, boss?"
     Nabiki looked around her office, noting who was present: Tarou, who'd
asked that question; Morrigan, Marlo, Dark Schneider, and the two latest
additions to their little circle of power, Haohmaru and Kunou. "Marlo, you're
up first tonight: a regular Gamma match."
     Marlo smirked, lounging in his own overstuffed La-Z-Boy (tm) recliner.
"Who d'you want me to thrash this week?"
     "Sakura."
     "My pleas-- HUH?" Marlo stared at her for a moment. "Okay, I know you
don't want me fighting your sister for the title yet, but -"
     Nabiki held up a hand. "Marlo, I love your enthusiasm, but you've been
fighting with my sister and Ranma a little too regularly lately; the audience
is going to get bored at this rate. You'll be fighting Sakura, normal Gamma
rules, no stipulations beyond that. Do you think you can handle that?"
     His usual smirk returning, Marlo leaned back, stretching his legs out in
front of him. "Yeah. One schoolgirl's about as tough as another."
     Nabiki nodded, smiling, and turned to look at the Samurai Swordsmen.
"Kunou-chan, Haohmaru, you've got a Lambda match booked against the Hungry
Wolves. Again, nothing special - fight it as you see fit."
     Haohmaru frowned, fingering his ever-present sake jug. "THE KUNOICHI AND
HER GAIJIN COMPANION ARE WORTHWHILE ADVERSARIES, ALTHOUGH HARDLY A FITTING
CHALLENGE FOR OUR LEGENDARY MIGHT," he intoned, forcing those closest to him
to cover their ears as his voice boomed in the office. Nabiki winced, and kept
her hands folded in front of her. "REST ASSURED, THE VICTORY SHALL BE OURS!"
     The teenaged owner and CEO of Ultra smiled coolly at the two swordsmen.
"That's exactly what I like to hear. Try to hold out longer than you lasted
when you jumped into the ring last week, okay?"
     Kunou bowed slightly, fingering his bokken. "As my sensei states, we
shall emerge the victors."
     "Darshu, you're off this week," Nabiki continued, nodding to the
ruggedly good-looking sorcerer. "And as for you, Morrigan -"
     "Did you find a challenge for my pet?" Morrigan smiled, stroking the
back of Wolverine's neck with a finger. "He's been acting surly lately; I
think he needs exercise ... besides what I normally give him, that is."
     "Hardcore match with Iori."
     "That could get messy," grinned Tarou. "Just make sure they don't get
too close to the announcers' table this time - Hiroshi might not be able to
take the strain."
     "Now, now, Tarou," Nabiki admonished him, "be nice. We don't want
Hiroshi to walk out on us again any more than we want him to have a heart
attack, now that NERV's out of the picture. Morrigan, is Wolverine up to it?"
     The succubus nodded, smiling. "Perfect. He'll be there - and I'll be
close enough to help keep him under control ... Pantyhose."
     Tarou's growl was an almost exact match for Wolverine's.
     "That's all for tonight," Nabiki told them, sliding her chair back from
her desk. "Marlo, you'd better go get warmed up; we're on the air in two
hours, and your match is first on the program." Marlo hopped out of his
recliner, then defied physics and conventional wisdom by hefting the chair
one-handed, twirling it, and dropping it into FurnitureSpace as though he were
sheathing a sword on his back. "All of you," Nabiki continued, "*do* try not
to let CHAOS embarrass us this week - Sakura's the only member of CHAOS booked
for tonight, but that doesn't mean the others won't be around."

     "So where are Jessie and James?" Karin asked, looking around the CHAOS
dressing/war room. "They're the only ones not here tonight ..."
     "They're taking a week off," Daisuke answered, trying not to let
Shermie's steady gaze get to him. "Now that they're halfway legitimate Pokemon
trainers, they wanted to try going out and actually catching some wild Pokemon
to train. They could be just about anywhere right now."
     "And they've earned their vacation," declared Jack. "Now, as to those of
us who *are* here tonight ..." He looked around at the other people who were
seated at the table: Jack himself sat at one end, with Mr. Duck resting next
to his elbow; to Jack's right were Daisuke and Shingo, with Karin sitting at
the far end from Jack, and then Shermie and Sakura, finishing the loop around
their all-purpose table. "I know some of you have been wondering what's going
to happen at the Epsilon pay-per-view in about three weeks. My answer to that
is, knock it off. I've got it all planned out already; worrying your little
heads about it is entirely unnecessary, so I won't bore you with the details."
     "Except we're going to need to know the details sometime between now and
UltraRage Epsilon," Daisuke pointed out. "And better sooner than later, so
that we can go over the plan and -"
     Jack decided not to let him finish. "Daisuke, Daisuke, do you have so
little faith in my leadership skills? Nabiki can do her worst, we'll do our
best, and ultimately Our Lady of the Bottom Line can't stop us from putting
control of Ultra right back where it belongs. I've got the PPV all taken care
of; the last thing we need is for any of you to get antsy about the situation
and muck up all of my delicately arranged work so that it comes crashing down
around our ears." With a wide smile, Jack looked around the table again. "Any
questions?"
     "Ano ..." Shingo shifted nervously in his chair. "Jack, you haven't
really done anything about it yet, have you?"
     "That's for me to know, Shingo my boy, and for you not to worry about.
Just trust me, okay? I know *exactly* what I'm doing! And so does Mr. Duck."
     *SQUEAK*
     "Hush! Don't bring that up in public, Mr. Duck; they'll find out when
the time is right, but not before. Now, if the peanut gallery is quite
finished making inane comments ..."
     Karin murmured something bemusedly about pots and kettles and
discussions of blackness.
     "... then let's continue. Sakura, you're all set for your match tonight,
right? Any problems?"
     "We might want to get some more durable training dummies in here,"
Sakura commented as she cracked her knuckles, "but I'm all set. Just give me
an hour or so to warm up and get ready, and Marlo won't even know what hit him
by the time I'm finished."
     "That's the spirit!" proclaimed Jack. "And the rest of us will be
watching from the stands ... there's no way Nabiki's jackbooted thugs can keep
us from enjoying *this* show!"
     The members of CHAOS traded mildly surprised looks. "Are you sure about
that, Jack?" inquired Daisuke. "How did you arrange that?"
     "Simple ..." Jack produced a handful of heavy paper rectangles. "I
bought tickets to tonight's show! Nabiki won't even think of trying to kick us
out of the UltraDome when we've paid her blood money like this!"
     Shermie looked up, or at least turned her face away from Daisuke for a
moment. "Blood?"
     "Just a figure of speech, Shermie," Sakura explained quickly.
     "Right," nodded Jack, a sweatdrop sliding down the back of his head.
"Karin? Shingo? Any problems that bear mentioning?"
     Both Karin and Shingo shook their heads in reply.
     "Well, in that case," Jack proclaimed, "if there's any more new
business, I declare this meeting adjourned." He rapped his gavel smartly on
the table. "Good luck out there, Sakura!"
     As they all started getting up, Shermie turned to her right and gave
Sakura a hesitant smile. "What's that saying? 'Break a leg'?"
     Sakura rubbed the back of her head, chuckling nervously. "That's another
figure of speech, actually ..."
     "Well, break a leg anyway?" Shermie smiled a little bit. "Too bad I
can't come out and help you ..."
     "Don't worry, Shermie," Daisuke told her. "We'll book you in a Gamma
match soon enough. But seriously, Sakura - good luck."
     "Thanks!" Sakura waved to the group as they departed, then headed over
to a reasonably intact training dummy and started warming up.



                              LIVE!
                      FROM THE UltraDome!
                     THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE
                    IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME
                      SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
                        AND IMPROFANFIC!
                        IT'S TIME FOR...

         { M A G I C A L  T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G }
         {    C R O S S O V E R    F I G H T I N G      }
         {             F E D E R A T I O N              }
         {                .-----------.                 }
         {                | U-L-T-R-A |                 }
         {                `-----------'                 }
         {          http://www.mtcffultra.com           }

               Episode 49: Psychic Networking
               Episode written by Shachihoko
               with additional scenes by Twoflower
               MTCFF Ultra created by Twoflower


     The UltraDome was packed, as usual, and deafeningly loud, also as usual;
fans waved signs while screaming themselves hoarse, and the thundering music
mingled with the applause to create a tumult that could only be overcome by
one thing:
     "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME ULTRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-*VIOLENCE*?!" Hiroshi
shouted into his microphone, the old exuberance flooding him once again as the
crowd's roar filled his ears.
     That same roar redoubled in intensity as the two thousand or so Ultra
fans who'd been saving their vocal cords made up for lost time in a single
enthusiastic cheer, shaking the week-old layer of dust from girders all over
the building.
     "And what an evening it's going to be!" Hiroshi shouted, all but
ignoring the glowering presence of Tarou next to him at the announcers' table.
"We've got an INCREDIBLE card lined up for you tonight, folks! The two most
vicious fighters in Gamma take each other on in a special Hardcore match! The
Psycho Soldiers and the Hungry Wolves take on new opponents! Mewtwo fights
Nuku Nuku to determine Wasyuu's fate! It's going to be a wild night, folks,
and it's all right here on ULTRA!!"
     Tarou snorted. "It's not going to be *that* wild," he objected into his
own microphone. "Iori may be a tough S.O.B., but Wolverine's going to shred
him, and the Samurai are going to make short work of the nutcase and the
bimbo. And don't even get me started about the psycho goody-goodies going up
against the would-be Pokemon master and his waterlogged girlfriend."
     "We'll just have to see what happens," Hiroshi responded, his spirits
undampened by Tarou's pro forma attempt to rain on his parade. "But before any
of that - our first match of the night is in Gamma league, between two long-
time Ultra competitors!"
     Tarou's second derisive snort of the evening was lost in the music and
cheers as Sakura Kasugano came striding down the ramp, waving to the crowd
along the way. A sign being waved in the (appropriately-named) nosebleed
section proudly declared, [I Saw Sakura's Panties!!]; one of the cameramen
caught it in his viewfinder, and the at-home audience was treated to a clearer
view of it than Sakura herself would be subjected to - which was probably just
as well for the sign-waving fan in question.
     As she neared the bottom of the ramp, Sakura broke into a run, building
up enough speed to leap over the ropes and land neatly in the ring, not even
needing to slide to a halt. But no sooner had she started waving to the fans
than the music changed, peppy J-Pop giving way to hard rock as Marlo Semaj
appeared at the top of the ramp, toting his own microphone stand along with a
folding steel chair.
     "When I heard I had to fight tonight," Marlo started his trademark rant,
"I figured 'Okay, so I beat little Akane to a pulp ahead of schedule'; I can
handle that. But no, I'm not fighting the boss's sister this week; Nabiki
figures you've had enough of that. Like you really know *what* you want to
see! So then I figure, 'Hey, I get to rip that split-personality psycho Ranma
a new one!' Nope, that's not it either." Marlo hefted his chair, giving the
ring and its currently lone occupant a meaningful glower - although much of
the meaning was lost to signal fallout between the stage and the ring.
"Instead, I get to fight *another* wussy little schoolgirl who gets all upset
about her panties being shown on international television, but doesn't do
anything to stop it! You really *are* a closet exhibitionist, aren't you,
Cherry Girl?"
     Sakura glared back at Marlo, making a 'get your ass in here so I can
kick it' gesture.
     Marlo laughed, and continued down the ramp. "Doesn't matter to *me* what
you wear ... but after I get done with you tonight, you're gonna have to pad
your panties - I'm surprised you don't do that anyway, your figure's worse
than Akane's - but you won't be able to *sit* after the ass-kicking I'm gonna
give you!" The Furnityre Savior slung the mic stand back into FurnitureSpace,
grasped his steel chair in both hands, and slid under the bottom rope into the
ring, whereupon the referee promptly called for the bell.

][ GAMMA MATCH #1
][ SAKURA KASUGANO vs. MARLO SEMAJ
][ FIGHT!

     Taking the initiative, Sakura locked her hands together to deliver a
double-fisted chop to the back of Marlo's head; he couldn't get his chair up
in time to block, but he retaliated with a chair swing at her kneecap while he
was rolling away from the follow-up blow. Sakura winced as the metal slammed
into her leg, and hopped back as well, opening up some distance between
herself and her opponent.
     Scrambling back to his feet, Marlo spun his chair back into its usual
position, smirking at Sakura. "C'mon, schoolgirl, show me what you got!"
     "SHOU-OU-KEN!" Sakura raced across the ring, bringing her fist up for
her uppercut technique, only to be rudely interrupted by Marlo bringing his
chair down on top of her head; she dropped to one knee, and got forced back by
a kick in the gut before Marlo brought his chair around to smack her across
the side of the head, laying her out flat.
     "Who's got the heat now?" Marlo shouted, bringing his chair down on
Sakura's side as she lay on the canvas - or at least, that was the plan; by
the time his chair bounced off of the mat, she had rolled away and was
scrambling back to her feet again. With a mental shrug, Marlo hefted his chair
and went after her once more.
     "Things don't look too good for Sakura right now," Hiroshi commented
from ringside. "Marlo's gotten the upper hand early in this match, and he's
got the reach advantage with that chair - never mind if he pulls out anything
bigger!"
     "Like I say," Tarou chuckled nastily, "Marlo's *always* got the upper
hand. Hardcore or not, he's one of the best Ultra's got."
     "It's too early to count Sakura out yet, though!" Hiroshi enthused.
"Sakura's giving him a private panty-shot - OOH, that had to hurt!"
     Sakura rolled back to her feet after springing off from Marlo's chest,
and spun to face him again. "What's the matter? Can't get your furniture
around fast enough?"
     Marlo lunged back to his feet, pulling out a king-sized canopy bed, and
swung it at Sakura; one leg clipped her hard enough to send her stumbling into
the ropes, and he capitalized on the opening by slamming it down on top of
her. The bed wound up making a crude ramp from the floor outside the ring to
mid-air over the ring, with the canopy sticking out almost over the audience.

     "Ohhhh ... come *on*, Sakura!" Akane shouted at the monitor. "I know you
can take him, come on!"
     Ranma shook his head quietly. "What do you think she's going to do,
punch her way through the frame and mattresses to get out of a squash like
that? Concrete'd be easier, at least *it* breaks."
     "She can get out from under it, can't she? It's not like a hit like that
would have trapped her between the bed and the edge of the ring, or something
that'd really hurt her."
     "Akane," Ranma pointed out, "if somebody hit *you* over the head with a
bed that size and let it fall, you'd have trouble getting out from under it
yourself. Sakura's got more experience than you do, but -" He was interrupted
by a knock on the door. "Who is it?"
     "Spring water," came the slightly muffled reply. "Refill for the cooler
in there."
     Ranma and Akane traded uncertain looks. "We haven't got a water cooler
in here!" Akane called back through the door.
     "I've got the order slip right here ... Tendou/Saotome, second sub-
basement, room 24."
     Shaking his head, Ranma went over to open the door. "See for yourself,
we haven't got a cooler in here ..." He stood back so the deliveryman could
get in.
     The deliveryman walked into the dressing room, a ten-liter plastic jug
balanced on his shoulder by one hand, a clipboard held in the other. "Huh ...
that's weird," he commented, looking around. "I've got about five more of
these out in the hall - who'd want to send you this much water?"
     "There's no signature on the order form?" Akane blinked.
     "Just the accountant's. Here."
     Ranma took a look at the clipboard. "Nobody's name I know ... Akane?"
     She took a look over Ranma's shoulder. "Wonder whose mistake it is ..."
     The deliveryman sighed, his own shoulders slumping. "Now I gotta cart
all of these back ... oops!"
     The water jug fell to the ground, rolling off of the deliveryman's
shoulder - and it turned out that it wasn't plastic after all, but glass,
shards of which went flying - along with most of the ten liters of water.
Akane was sheltered from both by Ranma's body, and none of the glass was
moving fast enough to cut, but ...
     Ranma-chan smirked, handing the clipboard back. "Now if you'll excuse
me, I got a prick to maul. Later!" She trotted out of the room, whistling
merrily.
     "Oh, no ... RANMA!! Stop!" Akane hopped over what was left of the water
jug and tore out of the dressing room after her aquatranssexual acquaintance.
     "What'm I supposed to do about this?" wailed the deliveryman, looking
down at the ruined one-sixth of his erstwhile delivery.

     Capitalizing on his advantage (and entirely unaware of what was
happening backstage), Marlo was jumping up and down on the bed - a feat made
somewhat more difficult by the fact that the bed was at an unusual forty-five
degree angle (at least, unusual on Earth; the Minbari would have found it
entirely natural), but the canopy let him stabilize his jumps. "Is it hurting
yet?" he shouted at Sakura, whom he couldn't even see. "Don't tell me you're
already unconsc-"
     The bed lurched from forty-five degrees to eighty-five, and Marlo
bounced from mattress to canopy to floor.
     "And SAKURA IS BACK UP!!" roared Hiroshi, clenching his microphone.
"What an AMAZING turnaround, folks, as Sakura Kasugano is back in the fight
and turning the tables - or rather the bed - on Marlo!"
     "That *was* surprising," Tarou grunted.
     "Shun-puu-kyaku!!" Sakura hurled herself at the bed, executing a
whirlwind kick (or more literally, a "Spring Breeze Kick") to push the bed all
the way up to eighty-nine degrees ... where it slowed again, wavering.
     Marlo pulled himself back to his feet, preparing to dash around the bed
before it could fall all the way on him - or to race back up it if it fell
back towards the ring, which it was starting to do by the time he was vertical
himself.
     Sakura wasn't about to let that happen, though, and she leaped out of
the ring, grabbing hold of the bedsprings long enough to push off with her
feet the same way she'd sprung off of Marlo's chest earlier in the match. That
was enough to send the bed toppling over, the posts snapping off as the canopy
broke loose, and sheets, blankets, mattresses and all fell on top of Marlo
like a collapsing house. Back in the ring and on her feet, Sakura rubbed her
nose briefly, then gestured at the collapsed furniture. "And that's how it's
done!" she taunted, more for the audience's benefit than for Marlo's.
     She shouldn't have counted Marlo out quite yet, though ... before five
seconds had passed, the quaking remains of the bed exploded as Marlo leapt
back to his feet, returning what was left of his furniture to wherever it came
from. "That is *NOT* how it's done, *little girl!*" Marlo roared, laying a
wooden table down so he could race up it and vault over the ropes back into
the ring. "You want to see how to put somebody through furniture, let the
*MASTER* of Furniture show you how it's done!! DINETTE SET!"
     With a startled "Eep!!" Sakura went back on the defensive, dodging
chairs, dining room table, and china cabinet one after the other.
     "Looks like Marlo's been practicing," Tarou smirked as he watched
valuable-looking home furnishings break in the ring. "That's his first named
attack, isn't it?"
     "... I think so, yeah," Hiroshi recovered from his surprise at Tarou's
actually showing some enthusiasm for a match in progress. "But Sakura is still
in the fight! It'll take more than a bad case of splinters to stop her!"
     "What about fem-boy over there? Looks like he, or in this case she, is
headed for the ring." Tarou indicated the top of the ramp, where a busty red-
haired girl in Chinese martial arts clothes was indeed racing down towards the
ring, with Akane in hot pursuit.
     Sakura stopped to catch her breath as Marlo's barrage of furniture let
up. "Not bad," she admitted, "... but you haven't hit me yet!"
     "Ranma, *wait!!* Akane hurled herself at Ranma's back, and managed to
catch her legs; she held on with all her strength, and Ranma fell down, the
impact cushioned by her own ample chest.
     "Gggh ... leggo of me, Akane, I'm gonna pound Marlo's FACE in!! LEGGO!!"
     "Hey, thanks, Ranma ol' buddy!!" Marlo yelled. "I wasn't sure what to
use next ... TOAST OF VICTORY!"
     "Huh?!" Sakura blinked at Marlo. "What are you -" She snapped her
forearms up, absorbing the impact of the thrown toaster by the simple
expedient of catching it in her hands; then Marlo smashed a kitchen sink down
on her head, and water spilled all over her - and the toaster.
     One very very bright flash later, along with a *ZAP!!* which made some
of the less attentive spectators wonder if Blanka or Pikachu was around,
Sakura dropped to her knees and coughed out a small cloud of smoke.
     "Marlo's in rare form tonight," Tarou noted admiringly. "I wonder what
inspired him to reach these heights of talent?"
     "Having two of Nerima's best-known martial artists out for his hide
might do it," Hiroshi didn't suggest. What he did say was, "And even despite
that cheap shot from Marlo, Sakura fights on! GO SAKURA!"
     "You don't give up, do you?" groused Tarou.
     "Sakura's the one who's not giving up! - Oh, but neither is Ranma ... !
What could Ranma be planning to do to Marlo?" Hiroshi wondered aloud.
     Ranma finally managed to kick free of Akane's hold, not stopping to
apologize for kicking her in the face en route, and continued on to ringside,
cracking her knuckles. Marlo hadn't noticed her yet ... so it would just take
one good shot to make sure he lost big-time.
     Marlo certainly didn't seem to realize that he was in any kind of danger
yet, as he was taking a few practice swings with the table he'd used for an
impromptu ramp back up from the floor. "Gotta hand it to you, girlie, you've
been a great punching bag ... plus letting me try some new moves." He shook
his head quietly, chuckling. "Think I've been hanging around all you goofy
martial artists too long; my Varied Tactical Furniture style used to be a lot
more straightforward, none of these weird attack names. Ah well ... tonight,
the legend of Marlo Semaj ascends to the next level!"
     Sakura finally struggled back to her feet, futilely trying to brush some
of the soot from her fuku. "Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?"
     "Nah," Ranma chimed in as she climbed the turnbuckle. "I bet he just
doesn't listen." She balanced perfectly on the post, standing at her full
height as Marlo turned around to see her standing there. "Nighty night!" Ranma
chirped merrily, leaping into the air with a thoroughly sadistic-looking grin
on her face.
     At the peak of her leap, Ranma-chan's grin was obscured by the thrown
mallet which smashed into her face, knocking her back out of the air.
     "Ranma no BAKA!!!!" Akane howled as she stomped over to Ranma, clutching
a yellow kettle in her hand. "What did you think you were trying to do?"
     Ranma tossed the mallet aside, starting to get back to her feet. "What,
you *want* him to beat Sakura? Whose side are you - HEY!!" She charged towards
the ring again - and Akane hit her over the head with the kettle. Ranma went
down like a limp sack.
     "Whose side *are* you on?" Marlo wondered, leaning his table against the
ropes. "Never would've figured for you to -"
     "I'm not done with you yet!" Sakura shouted. "Turn around, Marlo!"
     Rolling his eyes, the Furnityre Savior obediently turned to face Sakura
again, leaving his table leaning against the ropes behind him. "And what do
*you* want - YIPE!!"
     "Shinkuuuu ... HADOUKEN!!" Sakura's arms snapped forward, releasing a
cascading sphere of blue-white ki at point-blank range; although the fireball
started shrinking almost as soon as it left her hands, the impact was still
solid enough to blast Marlo off his feet and send him crashing through his own
table with a loud *CRACK* - whether of wood or of bone wasn't immediately
obvious, but the table, at least, was shattered beyond repair.
     The referee stepped over to check on Marlo, then gestured at one of the
officials outside the ring. The bell clanged.
     "And SAKURA WINS!!!" Hiroshi hollered, all but leaping to his feet. "A
match that could have gone either way ends in an AWESOME victory for the
Shotokan Schoolgirl!"
     At ringside, a somewhat groggy (and male) Ranma was being helped to his
feet. "Ow ..." Ranma gingerly rubbed his face, then the top of his head. "What
happened?"
     "Your other half came out and tried to interrupt the match," Akane told
him. "If she'd gotten into the ring and laid hands on Marlo, it would've been
a disqualification - and a win for Marlo by default. I think she's even dumber
than *you* are, Ranma!"
     Ranma squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "Tell it to *her*, not me ...
geez. This must be messing me up worse than I thought ... I need some
aspirin." Akane started leading him backstage again.
     "Hey!" Sakura skidded to a halt next to the two of them. "Thanks for
distracting Marlo so I could recover ..."
     Akane gave Sakura a reassuring grin. "You didn't need it - you would've
won anyway, I'm sure."
     "Yeah, well ..." Sakura rubbed the back of her head briefly, then held
out her other hand to Akane and Ranma. "Thanks anyway, okay? I owe you guys
one."
     Akane shook Sakura's hand, but Ranma waved her off. "Naw, you don't.
You're welcome."
     "Ranma!" Akane glared at him briefly, then smiled at Akane again. "It's
okay, Sakura, but thanks anyway. If we do need help with him, we'll let you
know, all right?"
     "Okay!" Sakura grinned, and headed on up the ramp.
     Tarou yawned openly. "Are they done with the goody-two-shoes convention?
If not, I could use a nap ..."
     Hiroshi rolled his eyes. "And we'll be back right after this! Don't go
away!"

     In the depths of Hell, a young girl was screaming.
     Normally that wouldn't be so unusual - Hell is filled with souls being
tortured, and roughly half of those are female, but the girl who was screaming
in this case was technically still alive, one of the handful of living who was
currently in the realm of Hades.
     Xelloss stood in the dark chamber, watching Asuka intently as she bucked
and writhed against the torments inflicted on her, listening as each fresh
howl of agony was ripped from her lungs. He had taken a hand in a few sessions
of torturing Asuka over the past two weeks, but for the most part the smiling
trickster was content to stand close by and let the local experts do their
work - and keep patching Asuka up when some of the demons got a little too
eager, which was always good for a few more shrieks: Mazoku healing was not
known for being a comfortable experience.
     Finally, though, Xelloss finally interrupted the torture and started
mending Asuka's body, letting the demon leave the torture chamber on its own.
Once the former Evangelion pilot was looking reasonably intact again, Xelloss
conjured a damp cloth and started washing the remaining blood from Asuka's
face. "I trust you realize now just how badly you've disappointed us," he
chided her gently. "You really should have been able to keep Lina's fools from
interrupting Third Impact; another few minutes and everything would have been
with the Void as it was supposed to be. But no, you couldn't even stop that
meddling Saiyajin from cutting you and Shinji apart - tsk tsk!"
     Asuka finally opened her eyes, giving Xelloss such a murderous look that
it actually impressed him. "What .... do ... you want?" she gasped, still
somewhat weakened by the past fortnight of ongoing torture. Even in her
current state, though, her tone still expressed a profound desire to tear
Xelloss, or *somebody*, limb from limb, pound what was left to a bloody pulp,
and grind whatever remained after *that* into the ground.
     It was just the mood Xelloss wanted her in. "You have a match this
evening," he informed Asuka. "It seems somebody else actually wants to go up
against an Evangelion, and as your opposite number in Heaven is still out of
commission ..."
     A bitter laugh escaped Asuka's lips, along with another stray drop of
blood. "So Shinji survived too? Excellent ... I want to kill him slowly."
     "I'm sure you'll get your chance before too long," Xelloss nodded,
smiling as always. "However - first you have to win tonight's match. Do you
feel up to that?"
     Asuka nodded feverishly, her eyes practically glowing with the bloodlust
that two weeks of unremitting agony had driven her into. "YES!"
     "Good. Now just sit tight for a little while longer; you look like you
need some food in your belly, and I don't want you wasting perfectly useful
violence on a hunt." Without making a move to release Asuka from her shackles,
Xelloss moved a tray closer to where the girl hung on the wall, and raised a
carved stone goblet to her lips.
     With another glower at her captor and leader, Asuka drank from the
goblet, forcing herself to ignore what she was actually drinking - it tasted
worse than vile, and she *hated* being fed as though she was helpless.
     Xelloss's smile just grew wider; he knew what he was doing, and in truth
... he didn't think Asuka was done suffering for her failure yet. Her victory
later would be atonement enough, assuming she actually won.

     "Welcome back, Ultra fans!" Hiroshi shouted as the cameras started
rolling again. "In just a couple of minutes, Andy Bogard and Mai Shiranui will
take on Kunou and Haohmaru in what promises to be a terrific match-up for all
concerned!"
     "If you like falling asleep out of boredom, maybe," Tarou commented.
"The Samurai Swordsmen are going to take the Hungry Wolves apart with no
trouble at all; the only interesting part will be watching how they do it."
     "Win or lose," continued Hiroshi, "I'm sure Andy and Mai are going to
put up a great fight - even if they're beaten, they'll go down fighting!"
     "You mean the way they kept losing against Bison's Busters?" sneered
Tarou. "Oh, please. Half the time, Bogard can't even figure out whether he's
himself or his dead brother, and the other half that kunoichi has to nursemaid
him through his fights. Now the Samurai Swordsmen - *there* is a good tag
team: well coordinated, planning ahead, and ready for anything that comes
their way."
     "If you mean planning out how they're going to cheat against their
opponents," Hiroshi retorted, "then I have to give them credit for that - but
it DOESN'T MATTER what dirty tricks the Samurai may have up their sleeves,
because Andy and Mai are going to knock them down and sweep the ring with
them!"
     Tarou just gave Hiroshi an irritated look as a traditional Japanese song
started playing, heralding the entrance of the Hungry Wolves. Andy and Mai
both strode down to the ring looking very confident; Mai waved to the fans
with one hand, her other arm wrapped around one of Andy's, while the younger
(and presently only living) Bogard brother just kept his eyes on the ring on
their way down the ramp. Once there, Andy climbed up to the apron first, then
gave Mai a hand up; they slipped between the ropes at the same time, taking
their places in the middle of the ring.
     "Bo-ring," proclaimed Tarou, pretending to stifle a yawn. "Now, the
Samurai know how to make an entrance."
     This time, it was Hiroshi who gave his sometimes-unwilling partner in
commentary an irritated look. He didn't have time to voice his response,
though, as the sound of a thunderclap echoed through the UltraDome. Sparklers
burst near the ceiling, showering down around the ring just as two figures
made their descent - and Haohmaru and Kunou landed in opposing corners of the
squared circle, their respective weapons raised. In unison, the Samurai
Swordsmen lowered their swords to point at the Hungry Wolves, and against the
sound of another thunderclap, they shouted as one, "ENLIGHTENMENT!!"
     "... Okay, now that was an impressive entrance," Hiroshi conceded.

][ LAMBDA MATCH #2
][ HUNGRY WOLVES (Andy/Mai) vs. SAMURAI SWORDSMEN (Kunou/Haohmaru)
][ FIGHT!

     "I SEE THAT OUR PATHS HAVE CROSSED ONCE AGAIN," Haohmaru boomed,
lowering his reverse-bladed katana. "SUCH IS THE FATE OF THE WARRIOR, TO MEET
ENEMIES NEW AND OLD IN BATTLE, AND TO STRIVE TO EMERGE THE VICTOR! KNOW,
HOWEVER, THAT WHILE YOU ARE INDEED WORTHY OPPONENTS, THE GODDESS OF VICTORY
SHALL SMILE NOT UPON YOU THIS DAY, BUT UPON THE LEGENDARY POWER OF HAOHMARU
AND HIS NOT-YET-QUITE-LEGENDARY STUDENT! HAVE AT THEE!!"
     Andy and Mai both tensed to attack. Unfortunately, they were facing in
exactly the wrong direction, as Kunou lunged in and delivered a pair of
devastating strikes with his bokken, smacking Andy and Mai in the backs of
their heads while they were watching Haohmaru.
     "And the Samurai Swordsmen open the match with a cowardly yet impressive
move," Hiroshi exclaimed, "getting their opponents to look one way while they
attack from the other! The referee is calling for Haohmaru to leave the ring -
normal tag rules stipulate only one member of a team in the ring at a time;
who will the Wolves start with?"
     Andy answered that question by turning around and delivering a
blisteringly fast series of punches to Kunou, who managed to block about half
of them with his bokken. "I'll handle this idiot, Mai," Andy told his partner.
"You get over to the corner and keep an eye out, okay?"
     "All right, Andy!" replied Mai, casually whapping Kunou in the back of
*his* head with her fan as she passed him. Kunou's guard faltered, and Andy
landed a couple of solid blows on his face and chest as Mai took her position
on the apron.
     "To the Blue Thunder," Kunou declared as he stepped back from Andy's
assault, "your blows, though strong, are but the stings of gnats. Now bear
witness to my strength!" He raised his bokken straight overhead.
"THUNDERBOLT!"
     A blast of electricity soared straight upwards from the ring.
     "And Kunou's just wasted one of his best shots!" gasped Hiroshi.
     "Wait for it," muttered Tarou.
     Half a dozen bolts of lightning plummeted from the ceiling as Kunou
leapt back, bracketing Andy in a salvo of raging electricity and giving him an
unhealthy shock. "KYAAAAAAAARGH!!!" roared Andy, twitching hard as the current
ripped at him.
     "ANDY!!" exclaimed Mai, leaning forward to give Kunou another swat with
her folded fan. "Are you okay?"
     "How did Kunou *DO* that?" Hiroshi wondered aloud as Andy shook off the
lingering effects of the shock. "We've seen Kunou use that move before, but
it's always been a single straight-forward shock!"
     "You don't listen, do you?" Tarou snickered. "I told you, they plan
ahead and they're ready for anything. Pay attention when I say something next
time, why don't you?"
     Kunou lunged forward again while Andy was still clearing his head, his
bokken blurring through the air as he issued a series of thrusts almost as
fast as Andy's previous barrage of punches. "WELL DONE, MY PUPIL!" roared
Haohmaru, raising his sake jug as though in a toast to Kunou. "TRULY YOU ARE
MASTERING THE WAY OF THE SAMURAI!"
     Andy kept backing off, trying to muster some defense against Kunou's
lightning-fast strikes, but he was still numb from the shock he'd received
earlier. Still, the feeling was coming back in his arms; now, if he could just
get a shot in edgeways -
     Cold steel slid down his back as Andy felt his arms brushing the corner
ropes. "Oldest trick in the book," he muttered. "I can't believe I fell for
that."
     "THUNDERBOLT!!" Kunou launched another blast towards the ceiling, then
slapped Haohmaru's hand and rolled under the bottom rope. Both of the Samurai
Swordsmen stayed low as the returning volley of electricity struck Haohmaru's
sword, which had been stuck down the back of Andy's top and now conducted the
shocking blast almost directly into his spine.
     "Andy's been isolated in the wrong corner," gasped Hiroshi, "and the
Samurai Swordsmen are cutting him to pieces! The referee's trying to stop Mai
from jumping into the ring to help her teammate, and the Samurai are going to
town on poor Andy!"
     With Kunou's bokken held against his throat from behind, all Andy could
try to do was guard against Haohmaru's repeated strikes; if the elder
swordsman hadn't been using a blunt edge, the Hungry Wolf thought, he would
have been cut to ribbons by now. Blunt edge or not, though, this was starting
to really hurt.
     "Come *ON*, Andy!" Mai shrieked, leaning so far over the top rope that
Kunou could see straight down her cleavage (not that her usual fighting outfit
hid any of it). "You can do it, come on!"
     "TENHA DANKUU RETSU ZAN!!" thundered Haohmaru, winding up for another
slash. Kunou let go, pulling his bokken away as Haohmaru whipped his sword up,
sending Andy into the air with a tightly controlled whirlwind; while the
martial artist was still in midair, Haohmaru leapt up, knocking Andy back down
onto the turnbuckles with one overhead slash, then landing and hitting Andy
with a second overhead strike as he collapsed.
     "It's over," smirked Tarou. "No way Bogard can get over to where his
girlfriend's waiting. The ref might as well just call the match now."
     Andy shook his head slowly, trying to clear it as he untangled his arms
from the corner ropes. "Not ... finished ... yet," he gasped, pulling himself
back to his feet and sidestepping out of the corner. He felt something warm
trickling down his forehead; without even bothering to touch it and see, Andy
knew that blunt edge or not, Haohmaru had drawn blood.
     "YOUR FORTITUDE IS INDEED MOST IMPRESSIVE," Haohmaru observed as his
bloodied but unbowed opponent shifted back into a fighting stance. "A LESSER
OPPONENT WOULD ALREADY LIE DEFEATED AT MY FEET AFTER SUCH AN ATTACK, YET YOU
STILL FEEL PREPARED TO CONTINUE THIS BATTLE. I AM COMPELLED TO HONOR YOUR
ABILITY BY -"
     "Stuff it," Andy snapped, bracing himself against the ropes for just an
instant. "CHOU REPPA DAN!!" He took off, ki surrounding him as he flew feet-
first at Haohmaru in his ultimate technique, and Haohmaru was knocked off his
own feet as the two of them flew across the ring, with the samurai plowing
into the ropes as Andy dropped to his knees on the mat in front of him.
     "All RIGHT!!" Mai cheered, snapping a fan open. "Nippon ichi!"
     "AND THE HUNGRY WOLVES STAGE AN AMAZING COMEBACK!!" Hiroshi cheered, the
audience on its feet as Andy threw himself towards the corner, making the tag
to Mai before Haohmaru could capitalize on the opening. "But now Andy is
almost totally drained, leaving Mai - who still hasn't fought - to take on
potentially both of the Samurai!"
     "A CUNNING PLOY," Haohmaru conceded as he moved away from the ropes.
"NOW, LET US CONTINUE!"
     "You ain't seen nothing yet," Mai grinned as she waved a closed fan at
Haohmaru. "Now it's my turn! Ka-cho-sen!" She tossed a trio of fans at her
opponent in quick succession, forcing him to block rather than letting him go
on the attack.
     "Be careful, Mai!" Andy warned. "I still don't know how Kunou pulled
that off before!"
     "SENPU-RETSU-ZAN!" shouted Haohmaru, responding to Mai's fans by sending
a smaller tornado her way; the kunoichi nimbly rolled out of the way, then
tumbled towards Haohmaru, hitting his legs then rising up with an elbow to his
face before hopping back again.
     "What a breeze this is!" giggled Mai, fanning herself briefly before
chucking the fan over her shoulder at Kunou. "Ryuu-en-bu!" She spun around,
the tail of her costume glowing red as she lashed into Haohmaru with her
Dragon Fire Dance, scorching him.
     "And the tables have been turned completely against the Samurai
Swordsmen!" Hiroshi declared jubilantly. "This time, it's Haohmaru who's been
isolated from his teammate as Mai goes to work on him, and she's showing NO
MERCY whatsoever!" He paused to grin at Tarou, "You seem to have lost
confidence in the Samurai! What's wrong, did the Wolves steal your thunder?"
     Tarou just looked up at the ceiling of the UltraDome, scowling.
     "I BELIEVE A SPOT OF ASSISTANCE WOULD BE HELPFUL, MY STUDENT," Haohmaru
called out to his partner.
     "With pleasure, sensei!" Kunou raised his bokken overhead again.
"THUNDERBOLT!"
     "Ah-ah-ah!" Mai landed a few well-aimed kicks on Haohmaru's sword arm,
keeping the blade up as Kunou's Thunderbolt shot upwards. This time, when the
answering bolts hit Haohmaru's sword, he took the full brunt of the shock.
     "That'll be enough of that," Mai smirked as she stepped back for a
moment. "Now then ... Chou Hissatsu Shinobi Bachi!" This time, when she came
up from her roll, a fiery aura surrounded her striking elbow, and she kept the
pressure up; by the time she let go and did a cartwheel out of the way,
Haohmaru's gi top had been burnt completely off, and the charred remains
scattered around him as he fell to the mat.
     "And the victory goes to the HUNGRY WOLVES!!" shouted Hiroshi as the
referee raised Mai's and Andy's hands in victory. "We may never find out how
Kunou was able to execute his new Thunderbolt technique, but it didn't help
him at all this time! More amazing and exciting Ultra action after this!"

     "She is not ready."
     "She has to be ready," Gally replied. "Her match is up next; I know you
were both holding back during today's training sessions -"
     Ifurita shook her head. "Gally, there is no way that Nuku Nuku can
defeat Mewtwo in direct combat. She has almost no weaponry, and physical
strength and speed alone -"
     "She *has* to be ready!" repeated Gally, slapping one hand down on the
console they were seated next to. "Ifurita, I know you've gotten to feel
protective towards Nuku Nuku, but I believe that Nuku Nuku can fight Mewtwo
and win."
     Ifurita just looked levelly at Gally for a few seconds. "Your logic is
faltering. Do you mean that Nuku Nuku must be ready because you believe that
she can win?"
     With a sigh, Gally turned her gaze back to one of the display screens,
which showed Nuku Nuku engaged in a running battle with a hologram of Mewtwo.
The simulation was programmed with everything they knew about Mewtwo's powers
and battle tactics based on both their own battles with the psychic Pokemon,
and data which they'd gleaned from watching the visual records of Mewtwo's
other fights. Unfortunately, not only did all of the available data suggest
that Mewtwo held the overwhelming advantage, but Nuku Nuku's last-minute
training seemed to support that theory. However, Gally didn't believe that
theory for a second. "Mewtwo's not invincible. I won last week, didn't I?"
     "You were able to turn unpredictable factors in the environment, and in
the course of battle itself, to your favor." Ifurita looked unconvinced, at
least to Gally's experienced eye. "We have no foreknowledge of the location
for this battle; it is unlikely that Nuku Nuku's match will be in a setting
even remotely similar to last week's match. Therefore, we cannot plan any
tactics based on your victory."
     Gally's fist slammed down on a control, deactivating the simulation.
"That's enough practice, Nuku Nuku; you need to report for your match in five
more minutes."
     The android catgirl landed from her last pounce, blinking at the sudden
absence of a simulated enemy to fight, then straightened up and hurried out of
the practice area. "How did I do?"
     Ifurita carefully rested a hand on Nuku Nuku's shoulder. "Do you believe
that you can win against the real Mewtwo?"
     Nuku Nuku blinked a few times as she straightened her sailor-fuku. "I
don't know. The simulation was pretty tough to fight against ... but
simulators aren't perfect, right? Besides, Wasyuu-san needs me to win!"
     "Nuku Nuku -" Gally looked up at the youngest member of the CyberGrrlz.
"You're right. Simulators aren't perfect ... but when you're really fighting
Mewtwo, you have to remember: you can't outfight it in a stand-up fight, so
you have to outwit it."
     "Like you did, Gally-san?" Nuku Nuku smiled. "I can do it!"
     "The terrain will very likely be different this time," Ifurita repeated.
"Please be careful, Nuku Nuku. If you can't beat Mewtwo, then forfeit the
match; there may possibly be another way to heal Wasyuu, as Gally believes."
     Her smile fading somewhat, Nuku Nuku nodded somberly in reply. "I
promise, Ifurita-san."
     "Good," Gally smiled. "Now get out there and kick Mewtwo's tail!"
     "Hai!" Nuku Nuku turned and bounded away, heading for the portal to the
UltraDome; from there she would proceed to the chosen Omega battle site.
     Ifurita looked down at Gally. "Shall I accompany her to the UltraDome?"
     "If you want to," the cyborg girl nodded. "I'm going to watch from here
... now, where did - ah." Gally picked up an oblong block of plastic, and
thumbed a couple of buttons; a holographic display screen popped into
existence, displaying one of the commercials that was playing between Ultra
segments. "And tell Nuku Nuku I wished her luck, all right?"
     With a curt nod, Ifurita headed after Nuku Nuku.

     "Our next match of the night is going to resolve a long-standing grudge
between Mewtwo and the CyberGrrlz!" announced Hiroshi as they came back from
the commercial break. "The match was set up last week, after Gally pulled off
a surprise victory over the psychic super-Pokemon, and Wasyuu's fate is riding
on the outcome! Will Nuku Nuku be able to follow in her teammate's footsteps,
or will Mewtwo overpower the newest of the CyberGrrlz?"
     "What *is* it with you and stupid questions?" groused Tarou. "Gally won
by a fluke; the idiot catgirl's luck isn't going to be enough to help her.
Mewtwo's going to turn her into a grease spot in about five seconds - maybe
ten if she's fast enough."
     "Don't listen to him, Hiro-kun!"
     Hiroshi rested his face in his hands. "Lilith, we're on the air ... what
are you doing down here?" A thought occured to him, and he looked back up at
the young succubus. "Did Nabiki - ?"
     "Ms. Tendo didn't send me down here," Lilith beamed as she perched on
the edge of the announcers' table. "I just came down to keep you company and
cheer you up!"
     "... right," replied Hiroshi. "Anyway, we're just about to go to our
Omega battlefield for the match -"
     A screech of feedback echoed through the UltraDome, dissolving into
white noise as the UltraTron picture broke up into so much static. "*Now*
what?!" Hiroshi tried to say, but the feed from his microphone seemed to have
been interrupted; he took some satisfaction in seeing that Tarou was having
the same trouble. Finally, both audio and video stabilized, revealing a
familiar visage on the UltraTron - one which was more familiar than Hiroshi
would ever have liked.
     "Please pardon the technical difficulties," M. Bison began, grinning as
widely as was his wont. "Given the highly uneven Omega match which is about to
transpire, I thought it might interest the viewers to know that there *will*
be another Omega match on tonight's program. And this may be of particular
interest to you, Hiroshi, as it will mark your other girlfriend's return to
action. I don't believe she would be very happy to know who you're seeing in
her absence."
     Tarou's headset crackled as Nabiki finally got back onto the channel,
sounding extremely upset. "-ll is going on out there, Tarou? Our feeds are -"
Another burst of static cut her off.
     "Bison must have hacked into our feed," Tarou growled, hoping his words
would get through. "What does he think he's -"
     "-ver mind that," Nabiki said as the line cleared up again. "Just keep
Hiroshi from losing it on-camera, all right?"
     Hiroshi, for his part, was seeing red, and not just what was visible of
Bison's habitual crimson uniform. Lilith was squeezing his forearm, trying to
whisper something to him, and Bison was still chuckling evilly. Finally,
Hiroshi shook off Lilith's hand and got to his feet. "What do you want with
Rei, you bastard?!" he shouted at the UltraTron.
     "Nothing that you can assist me with," Bison answered, his voice and
expression laden with confidence. "Except, of course, for you to do your job
and announcing the match when it happens. Oh, I didn't need to go quite to
this extent -" He appeared to gesture out at the UltraDome. "- but I wanted to
get the point across. Enjoy the show." Bison's image dissolved into static
again, leaving the UltraDome in a bit of turmoil.
     "Are you okay, Hiro-kun?" Lilith asked, looking anxiously at Hiroshi.
"You're not looking too good, maybe you ought to -"
     "I'm fine," muttered Hiroshi as he sat back down. "Anyway, our technical
crew has informed me that our normal feeds are all back on-line, and we're
ready to go to our first Omega match of the night."

     Mewtwo emerged from his portal first, looking around the chosen
battlefield. Dark clouds were gathering on the horizon; if the battle dragged
on for too long, he and the android would most likely continue their match in
the midst of a storm. Not that Mewtwo planned to draw the battle out any
longer than necessary, of course.
     The referee and Mewtwo's opponent both arrived shortly a few seconds
later. Nuku Nuku nodded politely to her opponent, taking a ready stance; Son
Goku just looked between the two of them and said, "You both know the rules.
The match will end on knockout, submission, or disqualification; I expect you
to stop fighting at that point." The spiky-haired Omega referee's gaze rested
on Mewtwo at that last. "Ready? Begin!"

][ OMEGA MATCH #1
][ MEWTWO vs. NUKU NUKU
][ FIGHT!

     Nuku Nuku made the first move, starting to run right around Mewtwo; the
psychic Pokemon was caught by surprise, and his first psionic blast went wide,
carving a meter-wide gouge into the ground. However, as Nuku Nuku tried to
take advantage of Mewtwo's apparently unguarded back, a telekinetic grip
caught her and held her fast in mid-air.
     {So you have learned from your stablemates,} Mewtwo commented
telepathically as he turned to face the struggling android. {Unfortunately,
there are no buildings here for you to take advantage of as the cyborg did.}
     "Her name's Gally," Nuku Nuku noted, still trying to break free of
Mewtwo's invisible hold.
     {Indeed.} Mewtwo tossed Nuku Nuku back a few meters, letting her go as
she fell. {Neither of the other CyberGrrlz is here to help you, child; do you
really think you stand a chance? You should forfeit while you can still do
so.}
     Nuku Nuku kippuped back to her feet, watching Mewtwo carefully. "I'm not
going to give up! Wasyuu-san's depending on me!"
     {She's in no state of mind to depend upon anyone,} Mewtwo replied,
gathering a sphere of psychic energy around his body as he floated up into the
air.
     Spotting her opening, Nuku Nuku broke into a full-tilt run. Mewtwo
intensified his telekinetic barrier, ready to trap her when she leapt at him;
somewhat to his surprise, rather than jumping into a head-on attack, Nuku Nuku
did a baseball slide underneath his feet, and only *then* jumped at him from
behind. The barrier still held, but Mewtwo had to refocus before he could
throw her off again. {You have potential,} Mewtwo admitted as he turned to
face his opponent again, {but potential alone will not allow you to win.}
     In the distance, violet lightning arced between ground and sky; with the
combatants' attention focused strictly on each other, only Goku noticed it.

     "This doesn't look good for Nuku Nuku," Daisuke commented quietly as
they watched the UltraTron. "Mewtwo really does have all of the advantages
that count here; I don't think Nuku Nuku could even run for it if she wanted
to."
     "Not our problem, Daisuke," replied Jack. "And even if it were, we
couldn't interfere unless we wanted to."
     "Jack, putting Nuku Nuku in the CyberGrrlz stable was your idea,"
Daisuke pointed out. "Other than that, she practically *is* part of CHAOS;
can't we do *anything*?"
     "We have to." The voice was female, and it wasn't coming from either
Karin or Shermie, who were sitting in front of the three male members of
CHAOS. Instead, the speaker was standing in the aisle, her almost-flat chest
heaving as she caught her breath.
     "Lain?!" Jack stared at the young hacker. "What're you doing up here?"
     Ultra's resident webmonkey finally caught her breath. "It's trouble ...
Ms. Tendo still doesn't know about my side work -"
     "Let's keep it that way," Jack interrupted. "Either sit down or get back
to your Navi before you're spotted talking to us!"
     "There's no empty seats," Lain pointed out as she squatted. "Listen -
when Bison hacked in, I think he used one of my shortcuts; I've closed them
all back up for now, but he did something else while he was accessing the
UltraDome network."
     "He interfered with the Omega match?" Daisuke's eyes grew wide. "What -
where are they fighting? Where *should* they be?"
     "I'm not sure," Lain admitted, "but I spotted some modifications in the
Omega arena selection protocols as the match was starting. That's no ordinary
storm. I cross-checked the parameters; Bison wanted a hostile environment."
     "We can't do anything about it now," Jack muttered. "Great. The psycho
wants to start picking away at Omega competitors? Lain, get back down to your
computer and see if there's anything you *can* do; if you have to, send an
anonymous message to the Ultra staff and let them know what you've found. I
don't need you to run any hacks tonight, anyway; you might as well just enjoy
the show."
     Lain nodded, and ran back up the steps towards the exit. "A hostile
environment?" Daisuke wondered. "Maybe Goku will step in before -"
     "Omega rules don't say anything about environmental hazards," Jack
pointed out. "Hell, they're practically a requirement sometimes ... all we can
do is watch."

     If Jack and Daisuke had kept their attention on the UltraTron, they
would have seen Mewtwo and Nuku Nuku continuing their battle. The match bore a
striking resemblance to a game of cat-and-mouse, except that in this case, it
was the cat - or rather, the android - who was the one being stalked.
     Mewtwo was learning Nuku Nuku's patterns, too, as he intercepted one of
her leaps with a telekinetic blast that sent her flying back into an
outcropping of rock. {I have no interest in doing permanent damage to you,}
Mewtwo told Nuku Nuku as he floated over to the shattered rock. {You're
fighting bravely, which I respect, but you cannot win.}
     "I'm not going to -" Nuku Nuku stiffened, magenta sparks racing over her
synthetic skin. "- give - wha?!" She slumped to the ground, shivering. "What's
happening?"
     {This is not my doing,} Mewtwo commented, looking around as Goku
descended towards them. {I do not know what could be causing it, either.}
     Goku had just opened his mouth to say something when Nuku Nuku lunged,
momentarily overcoming the disabling charge that was building up in her
systems, and tried to get Mewtwo into a submission hold. If there was one
advantage to fighting a Pokemon, it was that they were life-forms as well,
even if some of them were extremely bizarre. Unfortunately for her, Mewtwo
wasn't distracted enough for Nuku Nuku to lock in the hold, and he
telekinetically peeled her away from his body. {You tricked me!} Mewtwo's eyes
flared blue as he psychically raised Nuku Nuku up into the air, then slammed
her into the ground with all of the strength he had.
     Mewtwo expected the android's body to break; however, it was the rocky
ground beneath them which gave way, and he was standing right next to the
point of impact. Only Goku was airborne; both Pokemon and android fell
straight through the shattered surface, disappearing into the shadows under
the ground.

     "What an *ASTONISHING* turn of events!!" Hiroshi shouted, forgetting
momentarily that Tarou and Lilith were both there. "Just when Nuku Nuku seems
to be out of the action, she takes Mewtwo to a whole new level of fighting
intensity!"
     Tarou gave Hiroshi a sidelong look. "You make it sound like she did that
on purpose. Mewtwo picked her up and slammed her through the ground; it's the
Pokemon who's taking this match to a 'new level,' and it isn't fighting
intensity that I'm talking about."
     "Either way, this match is far from over!" Hiroshi continued undaunted.
"Our cameras are following them down into the cavern, just as soon as we can
get some light in there as well ..."

     {Are you badly damaged?}
     Nuku Nuku felt herself being lifted back to her feet as the rubble slid
off of her body. "I don't need any help - but thanks," she nodded to Mewtwo,
who was clearly visible, surrounded as he was by his psychic aura. "Are we
continuing?"
     "If both of you can continue," Goku nodded. "Nuku Nuku, are you *sure*
you're fit to keep fighting? You didn't look like you were faking that energy
charge."
     "I can fight," the android girl replied, shifting back into a ready
stance. "I'm not going to give up!"
     {Very well.} Mewtwo's eyes glowed, his aura flaring even brighter, and
he flooded Nuku Nuku's side of the cavern with a blast of telekinesis that
sent rocks flying down the underground tunnel - but not Nuku Nuku, who'd
dropped to the ground and dug her fingers into the stone.
     "Careful," Goku warned the psychic Pokemon as he punched a few stray
rocks into pebbles.
     Mewtwo ignored the well-meaning referee as he ceased his barrage and
walked over to where Nuku Nuku was lying flat on the ground. {You continue to
impress me, android child. You have no hope of victory, and yet -}
     Nuku Nuku fell through the ground again before Mewtwo could finish the
thought. Mewtwo, for his part, took to hovering again, his gaze flicking back
and forth along the natural passageway as he waited for Nuku Nuku to reappear.
He didn't have to wait for very long - but when the android broke through the
rocky floor again, she was precisely underneath the floating Pokemon; Mewtwo
didn't even have time to wonder how she'd determined his location before Nuku
Nuku grabbed hold of his tail and one of his feet, and fell back through the
hole in the ground.
     "MEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!" Mewtwo's eyes flared blue-white as, for the
first time in his life, he made a sound that wasn't purely telepathic in
origin; the roar of pain echoed through the caverns as the psionic shockwave
lashed at both Goku - who shielded his mind with hardly an effort - and Nuku
Nuku, who just held on for dear life as the cat brain inside her android skull
was knocked silly.

     Back in Wasyuu's lab, Gally let out a war whoop as she saw Mewtwo's leg
and tail yanked through the floor of the tunnel. "You GO, girl!!" she shouted,
punching the air. "That's using your head!"

     For once in their careers, Hiroshi and Tarou had almost exactly the same
expression on their faces: open-mouthed shock as they stared at the UltraTron
picture. "Nuku Nuku has DEFINITELY gotten the drop on Mewtwo this time,
folks!" shouted Hiroshi as he beat Tarou in regaining the ability to speak.
"This has to be one of the most unorthodox submission holds ever to be seen in
Ultra, but can she hold on long enough for Mewtwo to surrender the match?"

     After his initial roar, Mewtwo was physically silent as he tried to shut
the pain back out of his awareness far enough to levitate again; even in his
few previous defeats, nobody had ever gotten their hands on him in such a
manner. Nor was he going to allow such a situation to happen again by any
means; once was quite enough. For his own part, Son Goku could sympathize;
back in the days when he'd had a tail, he'd had it yanked on a couple of
occasions himself.
     The excess weight hanging off of Mewtwo's lower extremities finally
disappeared, and a moment later, Nuku Nuku poked her head back up through the
first hole in the floor. "How's that?" she grinned, looking rather the worse
for wear.
     Mewtwo finally levitated free of the ground and turned to face Nuku
Nuku. {For that, you shall die.} Nuku Nuku barely had time to drop back out of
sight before a massive blast of pure psychokinetic power opened up the floor
of the cavern, giving him more than enough room to descend in safety from any
ambushes. His tail and his leg both still hurt, but Mewtwo didn't waste any
time or energy on a Recovery technique.
     But when he'd reached the floor of the next cavern down, there was no
sign of Nuku Nuku. {Stop hiding,} Mewtwo demanded, {and face me!}
     A few pebbles fell from the ceiling which remained overhead, but Nuku
Nuku didn't respond.
     Goku began the ten-count, silently hoping that Mewtwo hadn't simply
disintegrated Nuku Nuku or blasted her so far away that they wouldn't be able
to find her.
     But before Goku reached ten, Nuku Nuku dropped back down from the
ceiling, where she'd been hiding behind a cluster of stalactites. She was
looking even more the worse for wear now; her sailor fuku, by contrast, was
simply in tatters - the skirt was reduced to a waistband and a few rags, while
her blouse looked ready to fall apart at the slightest provocation. Nuku Nuku
didn't waste any energy on speaking; she just shifted back into a ready
stance, watching Mewtwo.
     They remained in silence for a few seconds, incidentally giving the
camera pods time to catch up with them again. Finally, Mewtwo powered up, a
sphere of psychic energy brightening around his body; Nuku Nuku tensed, ready
to evade.
     {So you refuse to give up?} Mewtwo's telepathic voice sounded almost
amused. {Such foolish bravery ...}
     "I have to beat you so you'll heal Wasyuu." Nuku Nuku glared defiantly
at the psychic Pokemon. "For her sake, I'm not gonna give up!"
     {Indeed ...} Mewtwo stared at the android for several more seconds, then
unleashed another telekinetic blast, rending the floor of the cavern into so
much debris - but once again, Nuku Nuku was able to evade: this time, she
leapt up into the stalactites, then launched herself down at Mewtwo with a
flying kick; he looked up just in time for her foot to strike him directly
between the eyes, the impact only marginally softened by passing through his
barrier.
     As Nuku Nuku landed from her kick, Mewtwo reached up to feel the spot
where her foot had struck him. {Very impressive indeed. So be it ...}
     Nuku Nuku scrambled back to her feet, preparing for the next attack.
     {... I concede the match.} Mewtwo turned away. {There is little point to
continuing; I congratulate you on your victory. I will come to restore
Wasyuu's mind in the near future.}
     The android blinked at Mewtwo's back. "You mean ... ?"
     {The victory is yours.} A portal opened, and Mewtwo floated through it.

     "And Nuku Nuku comes away with an *AWESOME* victory over Mewtwo!!"
exulted Hiroshi. "At long last, the feud between Mewtwo and the CyberGrrlz is
coming to an end, as the damage Wasyuu suffered at Mewtwo's hands during
UltraRage Delta will finally be repaired!"
     "Nuku Nuku didn't win anything," snorted Tarou. "Mewtwo got bored and
gave her the win out of pity; if they'd kept fighting, the ditzy android
would've been scrap."
     "But she held her own for the entire match, rolling with the punches,
and came back to score the win!" Hiroshi remained undaunted by Tarou's
muttered criticisms. "We'll be back for the Hardcore Blood Brawl between Iori
and Wolverine, right after these words from our sponsors!"

     In the old days, the choir of angels would gather atop a mountain's peak
to discuss heavenly affairs.  The great stone table, lined with torches of the
everlasting fire that was the breath of the lord, would illuminate the
proceedings as stone tablets carried news from the front lines of demonic
wars.
     Nowadays they just met in Conference Room 20B near the water cooler
while someone presented a PowerPoint slide show and went over various pie
charts.  It was far more modern, far less dramatic; a convention put into
place by the god before Lina.  She would've enjoyed the mountaintop more,
frankly ... it felt in keeping with the world she knew that things would be so
majestic and ancient.
     Instead, she had to sit through a lecture by a lower choir member about
the surplus production of Karma in the eastern regions and leaf through a
stack of neatly xeroxed paper at today's meeting. She would much rather have
been watching the night's Ultra showing, if it wasn't for her upcoming
presentation and how important it was. Being god had to be the most boring job
in the universe, while at the same time the most incredibly dangerous job
imaginable ...
     But did it have to be?  Lina went over the words Skuld (or whoever that
was who walked into her office days ago) had said.  Yggdrasil, the supposedly
core element of all reality without which we are naught, was in fact useless. 
She ordered a high level investigation immediately, much to the shock of the
techies who thought it unthinkable to question the great computer's purpose
... and the results were confirmation.  The great computer had some useful
features, it's true, but on the whole existence could get along without it. 
In fact, once they tried turning it off, after the various warning sirens and
klaxons designed to suggest you turn it back on immediately were silenced,
they found that spontaneous errors in reality dropped to a staggering 0.0%. 
Amazing.
     How many other aspects of her job were glorious mistakes set into place
by her predecessors?  Skuld had warned her that if she looked hard enough,
she'd find plenty of rituals and practices that were being done simply because
they'd always been done that way, not because they genuinely made things
better or did some real good.  More and more, Lina Inverse was feeling less
like an omnipotent lord of all and more like a landlord inheriting a building
that was already falling apart at the seams thanks to negligence ...
     "Lina?"
     Her attention snapped back to the here and now.  "Yeah?"
     "We're about done here," Shinji said, turning off the slide projector. 
"You said you had a presentation for us?"
     "Right, right," Lina said, quickly gathering her notes... which
consisted mostly of a few things jotted down on a restaurant napkin where she
had a good bowl of chili while putting her thoughts together.
     She took her place at the podium, had a sip of water, and began.
     "First I'd like to apologize.  What I'm about to talk about is hideously
important and I've known about it for a few days now, along with Belldandy...
but I wanted to confirm a few things before I brought it up with the rest of
you.  This doesn't have anything to do with Cloud or the war with Hell, or
even Sephiroth sniping at us ... but it seems we might have a new player in
the game.  I told you all Skuld was on special assignment, which is why she
couldn't make the meeting, right?  Sorry, I lied."
     A concerned titter went through the board room.  Shinji stayed silent...
but it was a worried silence.  He'd just stepped out of Skuld's healing
machine the other day, and was looking for her to issue his thanks - only to
find she was gone, and nobody had any real answers as why ...
     "Last Sunday, while Skuld was working on fixing some bugs - which we now
know Yggdrasil was deliberately causing just to keep us all busy, from
Belldandy's earlier presentation - Skuld had a visitor, which seems to have
... well, the working theory is that she's been possessed.  Heaven's systems
identified the intruder as being an angel -"
     "Asuka?" Shinji interrupted, frightened.
     "Not an Evangelion, an angel," Lina corrected.  "An old school type
angel.  VERY old school.  The aura from the angel who visited Skuld was
identified as belonging to someone called 'The Metatron.'  Now, I still don't
fully get what the heck this guy is, so I'll turn the floor over to Belldandy
for the rest.  Bell?"
     Belldandy stood ... and now that all eyes were on her, they could see
the worry on her face.  "My sister ... the angel that seems to be controlling
my sister is very ancient.  We have little information about him, but from the
archives predating creation, his role was to be 'the voice of the one true
God'.  In the first days, the Metatron served as the mouthpiece of God, the
conduit through which His angels were commanded and His works were issued. 
Our guess was that once the godhead shifted to the second lord, his role was
no longer required and he faded way.  The later gods had their own voices,
after all ... why he's returned now is unknown.  I've searched the mortal
world for his aura, but possibly because he's in Skuld's body, it's being
masked from us.  We have no idea where he may be right now, or ... or what
he's doing to her ..."
     "It's okay, Bell," Lina said, trying to be comforting.  Her maternal
instincts were never very sharp.  "We'll get Skuld back.  I don't know what
this guy's deal is, or why he's come now of all times when we're neck deep in
Hell's war and Third Impact and all these problems ... problems we can't
ignore to focus on this fully, unfortunately.  But we WILL find her.  If he so
much as harms a hair on Skuld's head, there's gonna be hell to pay!"

     "AAGH!" Skuld screamed, grasping at her head in pain.
     "You really shouldn't eat ice cream so fast, sir," Kasumi chided, while
working at her knitting as the two conversed. They were sitting on the back
porch of the Tendo home; Kasumi's father and Mr. Saotome were both watching
Ultra, so the two girls could talk in relative privacy.  "Even goddesses can
get ice cream headaches."
     "I know, I know ... it was in her memory," Skuld said, rubbing her
temples.  "Just slipped my mind.  I'm still getting used to being in a
physical body, you'll have to forgive a few bungles ... I say, this IS really
good stuff.  I never thought I'd enjoy the process of synthesizing energy from
congealed fats and sugars so much.  Must be because I'm in Skuld.  Still, he
did quite a good job with this 'ice cream' stuff."
     "Lewis Pasteur?" Kasumi guessed.
     "No, HE.  You know.  Him," Skuld said, spooning up a fresh load of
cherry blammo whopping vanilla strawberry delight and gulping it down before
continuing.  "God."
     "You mean Lina?"
     "No, Lina is just the one carrying around that godhead thing.  I mean
GOD.  The everliving embodiment of all that is, the origin of time and life,
the beginning and ending of all things.  The Universe.  The big kahuna.  It's
the minute details that always impressed me about his work, the little things
like ice cream.  Can you just imagine how tricky it was to set the subatomic
particles into motion so that they would whirl around a star and eventually
form the planet Earth in such a way as to have mankind evolve from ameboas
into a lifeform that would get the idea of mix milk and ice and whatnot
together into something this tasty?  Boggles the mind, it does ..."
     The knitting needles paused.  "So ... there is a god, and the God?  I
always wondered if ... if I wasn't really God, when everybody told me I was
... I certainly never felt I had the right to the name ..."
     "Higher order concepts are always a mess to deal with, even for
celestial personifications of the natural forces," Skuld agreed.  "Lucifer
always just said it was best to smile, nod your head and go home for a cold
glass of lemonade rather than muck about with the big picture.  Poor fellow
had it bad when one of the next gods dropped him into Hell, meant he had to
take the stuff warm.  Said he couldn't abide by warm lemonade.  Glad to hear
he eventually turned the job over to someone else, he was always a nice guy if
not for his slight anger issues ... err.  Ah, are you okay there, Kasumi?"
     Kasumi tensed, her mind working overtime.  "I was ... I was just trying
to remember what you said about 'the answer' ... how I should know where I put
it and I keep trying to think about how I DID put it somewhere ... somewhere
important, for some reason, I just ... just ..."
     "Easy, easy," Skuld said, trying to calm her down.  "Don't blow your
mind.  We've got some time to find it.  Unless Lina blows up the universe
again like she almost did at that silly pay per view. Ah ... I wish I could
help, but like I said, I'm just The Voice.  I've got no special powers ...
aha!  You said that 'Doctor Tofu' fellow knows some medicinal practices,
right?  Does he know any relaxation techniques?  Humans have a hard time
thinking when they're overheating.  I never understood why He built that into
the design, but it's not my place to -"
     "Yes, he does," Kasumi interrupted, before the Metatron went off on
another nostalgic tirade.  It was quite disconcerting, hearing young Skuld
talk about the old days like a man on a rocking chair in a retirement home.
     "Right, then," Skuld said, rising.  "Let's pay him a visit and see if we
can get this sorted out.  Ah.  Do you have a ... what's the word I want ...
cloak?  Coat?  Something I can go out in public with incognito.  Heaven's
probably looking for me, and the timing isn't right to approach them again. 
Too much to do first.  Got to find the answer ..."
     Kasumi set down her knitting.  Tofu's scarf could wait; this was more
important.  Although ... "You never explained what you meant by 'the answer',
except that I should already know what it is."
     "I've got no idea what it is, myself," Skuld explained.  "He didn't tell
me.  I just know it's 'the answer'.  It's a thing we need in order to clear up
all this funny business and make the universe safe again.  I guess I'll find
out what that answer specifically is when you do."

     "And we're back!!" Hiroshi grinned as the camera lights turned on again.
"Coming up next is a Hardcore match between two of the most vicious fighters
in Gamma division, Iori Yagami and the mutant Wolverine! The blood's sure to
flow in this match-up, so those of you with weak stomachs or faint hearts
might want to check out our web site, while you're waiting for the next match
to start!" The graphic appeared on the UltraTron, and at the bottom of the
home viewers' TV sets: [http://www.mtcffultra.com/] "And while you're surfing
Ultra's web site, you can read up on all of our fighters, view recaps of their
greatest moments, and take a sneak peek at Ultra Magazine and NeoFighters!"
     "NeoFighters, for those of you who weren't paying attention last week,
is Ultra's daughter show," Tarou grudgingly clarified. "That's where the folks
who didn't pass muster for Ultra try their skills against each other. So
naturally, it's nowhere near as good as *this* show."
     "Smooth work, Tarou," Nabiki chuckled over Tarou's headset.
     "But if you just can't get enough of Ultra, check out MTCFF
NeoFighters!" Hiroshi continued, not having heard Nabiki. "NeoFighters, airing
Wednesday nights at midnight - the next generation of sports entertainment!"
     Heavy grunge rock started playing over the UltraDome audio system. "And
here comes Iori!" shouted Hiroshi as the UltraDome filled with cheers for the
bishounen martial artist and Iori Yagami appeared at the top of the ramp.
"Strangely, Iori's girlfriend Yohko doesn't seem to be in evidence tonight
..."
     "He probably got sick of her hanging all over him," theorized Tarou,
"and told her to sit this one out in back."
     "In any case, Iori is now entering the ring," Hiroshi continued, "and he
looks ready to rip somebody apart!"
     "Why, oh why, couldn't that somebody be you?" Tarou muttered darkly,
shooting a glance at Hiroshi. Fortunately, he didn't say it loudly enough for
his microphone to pick it up, allowing the women in the audience to scream and
swoon uninterrupted as they admired Iori from afar. Iori didn't react to the
cheering, except to push his bangs out of his eye for a moment and glance
around the lower rows of seats; this did little except to prompt even more
excited screams from the lucky ladies who got a look at both of Iori's eyes.
     The music changed from grunge to hard rock, and Wolverine started making
his way down the ramp in turn, restrained only by Morrigan's hand on the back
of his neck.
     "Now, now," the succubus chided her mutant slave, "we want to give these
people a good show ..." She waved merrily with her free hand, showing off her
impressive cleavage as she turned back and forth. When they reached the bottom
of the ramp, Morrigan pulled Wolverine to a stop, and smiled pleasantly at
Iori. "I trust you're ready to take on my pet?"
     "Hmph," Iori grunted, giving succubus and mutant a generally bored
glower. "This won't take long; stick around to drag his carcass backstage."
     "My, my, my," Morrigan chuckled breathily. "Confident, aren't you?
Wolvie, kill!" She let go of Wolverine's neck, and with a feral scream, the
mutant charged the ring.

][ GAMMA MATCH #2: HARDCORE BLOOD BRAWL
][ IORI vs. WOLVERINE
][ FIGHT!

     Wolverine slid under the bottom rope, coming back to his feet as he
lunged towards his opponent - but Iori was ready and waiting, and he gave
Wolverine a faceful of Yagami flames as the mutant tried to close in on him;
the singed Wolverine stumbled away with a howl of pain, but his cry quickly
turned back into a roar of fury as he returned to the attack.
     "Idiot," muttered Iori just before he dashed towards Wolverine, breaking
through his guard and delivering two backhanded uppercuts followed by a
jumping double-chop, knocking Wolverine back to the mat. "Hope you don't mind
your 'pet' getting damaged," Iori spat at Morrigan. "This isn't even a decent
warm-up."
     Morrigan laughed breathily, folding her arms behind her head. "Maybe
you'd be a better servant ... why don't you let him beat you, and then I'll
enthrall you as well? That would probably irritate your girlfriend, but -" She
breathed in deeply, her breasts rising, then finished, "I think you'd find it
an improvement."
     Iori shook his head quietly. "That girl is *not* my - GYAH!!"
     "And Morrigan distracts Iori long enough for Wolverine to get back up
and into the fight!" yelled Hiroshi. "Iori may have gotten the first hit in
this match, but it's Wolverine who's drawn first blood!"
     Iori turned around, landing a solid kick in Wolverine's side, then
reached around his own back to check on how badly he'd been cut. His fingers
came away lightly coated with red; Iori mentally shrugged it off, and laid
into Wolverine with a series of punches that drove the mutant back, putting
him off-balance. It wasn't the first time Iori had literally gotten blood on
his hands, and he doubted that it would be the last.
     But Wolverine was no stranger to battle, and in the feral state which
Morrigan had driven him into, he was even more dangerous than when he was in
full control of himself. When Iori tried to take advantage of the opening he'd
created, Wolverine leapt up, slamming a knee into Iori's face, then brought
his locked fists down in a chop of his own, driving Iori to the canvas face-
first; Wolverine then capitalized on the advantage by kicking Iori over onto
his back, crouching on top of him, and repeated slamming his claws into Iori's
shoulders and upper torso.
     "Iori's got to be in a lot of pain right now," Hiroshi winced, "but he
doesn't look like he's out of the fight yet!"
     "No comment," yawned Tarou.
     Sure enough, Iori managed to grab Wolverine's wrists and give him a
solid dose of crimson flames; burned again, the mutant promptly ripped free
and leapt back, giving Iori a chance to get back to his feet. Iori followed up
with a Yami Barai, hurling a sparking fire across the mat towards Wolverine;
it connected, and Wolverine yelled incoherently as he instinctively leapt away
from the scorching flames, collapsing to the mat.
     Iori shook his head again, holding up a handful of crimson Yagami
flames. "Heh ... you're pathetic," he sneered at Wolverine. "Just die
already." He leapt forward, swinging his flaming hand over and down, and gave
Wolverine another blast of fire. Unfortunately, this time Wolverine was ready
and hopped back just out of range; he was singed by the flames, but not so
badly that he couldn't retaliate while Iori was recovering from his previous
move: one clawed spinning uppercut later, the former Orochi blood carrier was
hanging over the top rope with an enraged berserker closing in on him.
     Morrigan, who had moved back up the ramp for a better view, gave an
appreciative wolf whistle as Wolverine went back to work on Iori, incidentally
tearing strips out of Iori's clothes with each swipe of his claws. "That
little Devil Hunter has good taste in boyfriends," Morrigan mused as she
watched from her perch on a hovering cloud of bats. "Maybe I should just steal
him anyway ..."
     With a significant effort, Iori finally managed to bring his feet up and
push Wolverine away. Iori's shirt and jacket were shredded, and he was
bleeding more than he cared to think about, but more to the point, he was
getting fed up with this fight. It was time to get serious.
     "And Iori FINALLY comes back with some serious moves," Tarou noted as
Iori pushed off from the ropes and started ripping at Wolverine, his hands
curved into claws as his fingernails dug into the mutant's flesh. "About time
he drew some blood, too."
     "Both fighters are still in the ring," added Hiroshi, "even though
Hardcore rules literally allow them to go anywhere in the UltraDome and use
anything that comes to hand - short of other fighters, that is! Still, the
only other fighter out at the moment is Morrigan, and she's just watching the
match in progress."
     Finishing his Maiden Masher, Iori locked his hands onto Wolverine's body
and channeled an explosive blast of flames into the mutant's body; with a
pained howl, Wolverine went flying into the ropes himself. Iori pressed his
attack, delivering another rushing combination - but while Iori was still in
mid-air, Wolverine severed the ropes with his claws, and both fighters went
tumbling out of the ring.
     "That *really* had to hurt!" exclaimed Hiroshi as both Iori and
Wolverine landed on the floor in a tangle of limbs. "Both fighters seem to be
down - no, Iori's already getting back up ... and so is Wolverine, and here
they go again!"
     Screaming in rage, Wolverine lunged for Iori again, starting to slash
with his claws even before he was close enough to make the attack count; Iori
blocked as well as he could, then grabbed Wolverine and swung him around,
sending the mutant stumbling towards the announcers' table. Hiroshi promptly
ducked for cover even as Iori rushed the off-balance Wolverine, knocking him
down in another explosion of flames.
     "The Hardcore Blood Brawl is living up to its name," Tarou noted as he
eyed the approaching fighters. "Both fighters are walking wounded, and Iori's
flames are making up for the fact that he's probably lost more blood so far
than Wolverine has. I can't blame clone-boy for going into hiding, either."
     "Hey!" shouted Hiroshi, his voice somewhat muffled by the flimsy
veneered wood.
     Wolverine stumbled back to his feet, turning to get his bearings on Iori
again, then leapt at him with extended claws; Iori met him with an Oniyaki,
leaping upwards in a spiraling uppercut that left a trail of flame in its
wake, and Wolverine went flying back again, this time *into* the announcers'
table, which promptly collapsed.
     Hiroshi got out from under the table just in time, having the presence
of mind to snag his microphone along the way. "This is turning out to be one
of the wildest fights in Ultra's history!!" he declared, pressing his back
against the audience barricade even as Wolverine started standing up once
again. "This fight really could go either way right now; it's just a matter of
who starts to run out of steam first!"
     "Probably Iori," Tarou guessed, holding onto his microphone and a glass
of water as he kept one eye on Wolverine. "The succubus over there can keep
Wolverine going even past his normal limits, I'd expect."
     Hiroshi wasn't sure whether he was too scared to think of a reply, or
just surprised by Tarou's partial change in attitude. In any case, he *really*
didn't want to draw Wolverine's attention; the mutant was just too close for
comfort, and seemed to be having trouble figuring out where the opponent he
*wanted* to fight was standing. Fortunately, Iori came over and distracted
Wolverine himself, grabbing the dazed mutant and flinging him back towards the
ring with enough force to send him into the corner post; Wolverine's head hit
with an audible clang, and he slumped to a sitting position on the ground.
     Iori paused to look across the ring at Morrigan, who continued to look
on from her bat-cloud seat. The succubus just smiled and gave him a cheery
little wave, along with a distinctly come-hither look; Iori ignored it and
walked over to where Wolverine was lying, then picked him up by the front of
his shirt - or what was left of the mutant's shirt: rather more than Iori
could claim of his - and backhanded Wolverine across the face. Wolverine
didn't fall down from the blow, but grabbed Iori's shoulders and headbutted
him in the face, and then it was Iori's turn to stagger backwards, dazed by
the blow.
     Wolverine's growl escalated into a full-throated roar, and he leapt on
Iori again, knocking him down and beginning another series of claw swipes;
this time, Iori couldn't break free or counter attack anywhere near as
conveniently, and could only try to protect himself from the worst of it.
After about half a dozen slashes, Wolverine hopped back to his feet, retracted
one set of claws, and picked Iori up by the neck, drawing his other fist - and
its claws - back as he prepared to drive those claws right through Iori's
face.
     With a sigh, Morrigan dismissed her bats and landed neatly on her feet,
starting to walk down the ramp. "No, no, no! Just keep roughing him up, don't
kill him yet!"
     "I thought she started the match by telling Wolverine to kill Iori?"
noted Hiroshi, half-cringing in his chair and wishing that he still had the
announcers' desk to hide under. Tarou just snorted, shook his head, and didn't
say anything in response.
     For some reason, Wolverine retracted his other claws even as his fist
streaked forward, catching Iori squarely in the face and sending him reeling.
Exploiting Iori's momentary imbalance, Wolverine proceeded to lay into Iori
with a barrage of punches to the chest and belly, taking the advantage.
Engrossed in watching this spectacle, Morrigan never noticed the black-garbed
figure racing down the ramp and trying to plant a slip of paper between her
shoulderblades.
     Or at least, that was what seemed would happen, except that one of
Morrigan's wings snapped up and sent the black-clad figure sprawling. "You
really need to work on your stealth, Devil Hunter," Morrigan commented as she
looked over her shoulder at Yohko, whose body was clad from the neck down in a
form-fitting ninja jumpsuit. "So did you come out to rescue your boyfriend, or
just to try and distract me?"
     "None of your business," growled Yohko as she started getting to her
feet. "Now just - HEY!! Put me down!" The teenaged exorcist flailed about as
one of Morrigan's wing-tendrils held her in mid-air by the neck.
     "By all means," Morrigan shrugged. "Enjoy your flight!" The tendril
lengthened somewhat, then whipped Yohko through the air, sending her sailing
towards the ring.
     Iori had finally managed to disengage from Wolverine, and the two of
them were facing each other on the announcer's side of the ring. With nearly
identical roars of fury, Iori and Wolverine lunged at each other with intent
to maim - and Yohko fell right in between them.
     Wolverine's claws carved a rapid series of slashes across Yohko's back
as Iori's fingernails ripped across her chest; between the two of them,
Yohko's jumpsuit was quickly shredded to rags - and when Iori caught hold of
her and set her afire with his Yagami flames, most of the remaining fabric was
blasted away from her skin in the form of charred rags. Stunned by the blast,
Yohko flew back into Wolverine, who crashed to the ground like a falling
domino.
     Iori's vision started to clear as he shook his head to clear it; the
scream he'd elicited hadn't sounded like his opponent's ... and then he
spotted Yohko, who was lingering on the edge of unconsciousness. "You IDIOT!"
he snapped, hauling Yohko up by her arm. "What do you think you - never mind.
We'll talk later," he finished curtly, shoving her out of the way. "Saku
Tsumagushi!" He pounced on the prone Wolverine, latching onto what was left of
the mutant's shirt with one hand, then lifted him into the air as he leapt
upwards, spinning around as his flames roasted Wolverine; at the peak of his
jump, Iori simply let go, and by luck or by design the crispy-fried mutant
went sailing right into Morrigan.
     "... wow," commented Hiroshi as he regained the ability to speak. "Now
that was one match that had it *all*! And it looks like - yes, the referee is
signaling that Iori has won the match!"
     "An inspired performance, I'm sure," Tarou replied wryly as he glanced
at the now-scantily-clad Yohko. "That girl's even more of an idiot than most
of the female fighters in Ultra; I have to wonder what -"
     "Shut up," interrupted Iori, giving Tarou a look that should have laid
him out flat. "It's none of your business anyway, *Pantyhose*." Iori headed
back towards the ramp, collecting Yohko en route and wrapping what was left of
his jacket around her shoulders, completely oblivious to the even more
devastating look Tarou was boring into his back with.
     "And the Psycho Soldiers vs. Team Pokemon is coming up next!" Hiroshi
announced. "Hopefully we'll have a fresh table in here by the time we come
back from break."

     Doctor Tofu wasn't sure why he watched Ultra anymore.  It wasn't like he 
was the sort of crazed Ultra fanboy half of his patients were; he didn't get 
into it on the level of fanaticism that others did.  He enjoyed watching the 
fighting (when there was actual martial arts on display) (even if he couldn't 
follow why so many people wanted to fight each other so badly) (despite his 
worries whenever he saw Akane or Ranma going out there) ... but there was more 
to it than that.
     It was a ritual for him now.  A ritual going back months and months ...
     Back when Kasumi was God, Tofu watched the show religiously, so to 
speak.  Kasumi was in her heaven and all's well in the world, except for his 
longing to tell her his true feelings and her distance from him ... then he 
stupidly went on the show after a drinking binge and announced his love on 
television.  He still watched every week after that blunder, hoping to see 
Kasumi, despite being unable to come within twenty miles of dome out of 
embarrassment ...
     Then Kasumi stepped down from her pedestal and everything changed.  The 
simple, wonderful girl he fell in love with was back, and she had left FOR 
HIM.  She said so, on live pay per view.  Tofu lost his stutter and 
nervousness around her, the two officially started dating and all was 
sunshine and roses ...
     Yet, he still watched the show.  Maybe it was just instinct now, 
ingrained from his prior deep-set emotions as he watched the fights and the 
chaos and the absurdity.  Maybe it just reminded him of Kasumi when she 
wasn't around.
     How he wished he had the nerve to ask her to marry him!  But despite 
losing his nervousness around her, that was the one thing he could never work 
up the nerve to ask.  If only he could, then he wouldn't be sitting here on a 
Monday night eating cheap cup ramen and watching Ultra, he could be snuggling 
by a roaring fire with... well, first he'd have to get a fireplace installed 
but THEN he could be snuggling by a roaring fire with -
     "Tofu?" Kasumi spoke
     Doctor Tofu squeezed his plastic cup of ramen so hard it spattered 
everything in a two foot radius.  Thankfully the television was four feet 
away.
     "Kasumi!" he exclaimed in delight, while wincing in pain from having 
boiling water run over his hand.  He ditched the ruined cup and grabbed a 
towel, to dry off before rushing to hug her.  "I haven't seen you in days!  
How are you?  How are things? ... who's that?"
     The young girl in the oversized coat poked at the television screen a 
few times, ignoring the couple.  "Positively embarrassing," she mumbled.  
"You think of the sum total of all God's glories and wonders, and THIS is the 
greatest accomplishment the celestials have contributed lately ... brawling 
for dollars.  Not to mention all the radiation being kicked off by this 
television thing, really, we didn't toss about stray electrons so callously 
back in my day -"
     "Er, Metatron?"
     "- and all this business with the wave modulation and the new IP 
protocol, definitely messing with the harmonics of the planet, can't see how 
people can go to bed at night with all the noise in the -"
     "Metatron!"
     "What?" Skuld asked, looking up ... and remembering where she was.  "Oh. 
Err.. ah.  Well, damn.  Going to be hard to keep my cover in front of the 
mortal now, I guess."
     "I guess," Kasumi chided lightly.  "Ah ... Tofu, this is ... an old 
friend, I guess you could say.  We need your help."
     Tofu glanced at the young goddess with a look usually reserved for 
crazed crack addicts.  "Ah, Kasumi?  You know my specialty isn't 
psychology ..."
     "Don't worry, I'm perfectly sane," Skuld said, hopping into Tofu's comfy 
recliner to watch the television.  "Kasumi's the one with the problem.  She's 
got to remember something very important she forgot while she was god, and 
she said you were good at mucking about with how humans work, so ... how do 
you guys do it again?  Potions and hexes?  Funny shaped rocks?  Come on, 
let's have it, doctor, time's wasting, chop chop."
     Doctor Tofu started to say something, then didn't.  So he decided to say 
something else but shook his head and went quiet before not saying something 
because he had to admit instead, "I'm confused."
     Kasumi sighed, shaking her head.  "Metatron, let me handle explaining 
it ... you stay here and watch the show while Tofu and I talk, okay?"
     "Sounds fine here," Skuld said, already caught up in couch potato fever.  
"And can you bring me some more of that ice cream stuff?  Thanks.  And turn 
up the volume a little, please.  I've never understood why He made your ears 
so tiny, even your goddesses can't hear a bloody thing through these dinky 
orifices ..."
     The sooner Tofu helps me remember the answer, Kasumi thought, the sooner 
I can get rid of this old codger and get Skuld back.  Then she banished the 
thought since it wasn't very nice, and she was a very nice girl.

     "Youse guys ready?"
     "Yeah." Ash looked at his Pokeballs again, then started hooking them to
his belt. "Who're we fighting again?"
     "Those Psycho Soldiers guys." Meowth smirked, then added, "You should be
able to handle them all right."
     "The Psycho Soldiers?" Ash looked up as he finished securing his
Pokeballs. "Wait a minute, why are we fighting them? They're heroes, like me!"
     "You probably didn't know this, but ..." Meowth glanced around the
dressing room - empty except for Meowth, Ash, and the presently silent Misty -
then continued, "I heard they're conspiring with Team Rocket."
     "They *WHAT*?!" Ash's jaw dropped. "That's - you've gotta be kidding!"
     "I ain't kidding - I saw them coming out of CHAOS's dressing room a few
weeks ago, just before a couple of Team Rockets' other friends went into it.
Those two goody-goodies are really working with some of the rottenest apples
you'll ever find; guess it was all an act, huh?"
     "Yeah," muttered Ash. "An act ... they were just pretending to be nice
... just like Pikachu was pretending to be my friend all these years!"
     Misty looked up from where she was cradling Togepi in her lap. "Ash,
Pikachu wasn't pretending - you two really were friends."
     "Oh yeah?" Ash barked a laugh. "You never saw how much Pikachu was
fighting with me back when we first met - yeah, that was the start of a
*beautiful* friendship! And now Pikachu's gone ahead and run off!" Ash flung
his cap against the dressing room wall, then walked over to pick it up and
dust it off. "That ungrateful little ... grrr. I hope he *doesn't* come back,
I don't need fair-weather friends like that!" Ash ran his fingers across the
Pokeballs on his belt. "At least *these* guys will stay my friends, they won't
run away from me ... and they'll always do what I want them to!" Ash jammed
his cap back down on his head, and headed for the door. "Let's get out there
and trash those fakes, Misty!"
     "Uh ... right." Misty sounded completely unconvinced as she stood up,
still holding Togepi in her arms; the baby Pokemon chirped happily, waving its
stubby little arms/flippers/whatever. "Meowth, are you coming to ringside?"
     "Naah, I'll stay back here. Good luck!"
     "Right." Misty followed Ash out the door, frowning. "Thanks."

     "For reasons not made clear to us -"
     "Meaning you don't know enough to even hazard a guess -"
     "- both the Hungry Wolves and the Psycho Soldiers have been booked for
matches this week, but neither team is facing their resident nemeses, Bison's
Busters," Hiroshi continued without missing a beat. "We've already seen the
Wolves' triumph over the Samurai, but facing the wild-card team of Pokemon
trainers Ash Ketchum and Misty, will the Psycho Soldiers fare as well as their
allies did?"
     "You *could* shut up and let us find out," Tarou replied, "or did I
already say that this evening? Anyway, here come the Psycho Soldiers ... gods,
I hate that music!"
     The 1999 remix of "Psycho Soldier," Athena Asamiya's longest-standing
hit song, played as Athena and Kensou proceeded down to the ring. Kensou
quickly ascended the steps to the corner, then leaned down to help Athena
climb straight to the ring apron; once there, they both slipped between the
ropes and stood in the ring itself, waving to the cheering crowds.
     They were still waving when the music changed to "2B A Master," and Ash
and Misty started striding down the ramp, with Ash looking particularly intent
as he adjusted his gloves and cap. Misty lagged behind him a step or two, with
an expression that was more concerned than focused on victory. Rather than
waiting for his teammate, Ash hurried to the ring and climbed up over the
ropes, coming face-to-face with the Psycho Soldiers (minus a few inches in
height difference). "I really can't believe you guys," Ash growled as he
plucked a Pokeball from his belt, expanding it to full size.
     "Eh?" Athena blinked at the young Pokemon trainer. "What's that?"
     "You know just what I'm talking about - playing at being heroes all this
time, then siding with villains like Team Rocket ..." Ash stepped back to the
corner as Misty finally reached the ring. "You're going to pay for that!
Squirtle, I choose you!!"

][ LAMBDA MATCH #2:
][ PSYCHO SOLDIERS (Athena Asamiya/Sie Kensou) vs. TEAM POKEMON (Ash/Misty)
][ FIGHT!

     "Wait a second, we're not -" Athena dived out of the way as Squirtle's
Water Gun attack hosed down the spot where she'd been standing; Kensou had
already climbed back out of the ring and taken the corner opposite Ash. "What
made you think we're with Team Rocket?"
     "Don't try playing innocent with me!" shouted Ash. "Squirtle, go for the
Skull Bash! Now!"
     Athena shook her head, and leapt aside as Squirtle flew across the ring,
trying to head-butt her; the water-element Pokemon missed by a metaphorical
mile, and only avoided sailing on into the audience by grabbing onto the
ropes. "Squirtle squirt!" the turtle-like creature exclaimed as it slipped
back into the ring.
     "Look," Athena sighed as she faced Ash. "I really don't want to do this
to you, but you're not giving me much of a choice. Just keep in mind, this
isn't personal for me or Kensou. Okay?"
     "Up yours," Ash shot back. "Squirtle, use your Bubble attack!"
     Squirtle made a gurgling noise, sending a stream of innocent-looking
bubbles towards Athena; the Psycho Soldier scrambled back out of the way,
momentarily hopping onto the top rope, then jumped towards the little Pokemon
and turned in mid-air to execute her Phoenix Bomb while the bubbles popped on
the far side of the ring with concussive force.
     "Squirtle, Withdraw!!" yelled Ash as Athena descended towards Squirtle
butt-first; Squirtle was half a beat ahead of Ash, already drawing its arms,
legs, head, and tail into the safety of its shell before Athena could land on
it. Fortunately, Athena caught herself before she sat on the edge of the shell
- but unfortunately, this left Squirtle in prime position to blast a stream of
water right up into her face, completely soaking the front of her outfit in
the process.
     "Athena!" Kensou leaned over the ropes. "Are you *blub*!"
     "Good shot, Squirtle!" cheered Ash as Squirtle hosed Kensou right in the
face. "Don't let him get in to help his partner cheat!"
     "Cheat?!" Athena wiped water out of her eyes with the back of her gloved
hand, and GLARED at Ash. "*US* cheat!?" She dropped into a crouch, and slammed
a double palm strike into Squirtle's belly, knocking the tiny turtle Pokemon
head over heels onto its back, and leaving it to flail helplessly. "I can't
believe you -"
     Ash laughed sharply. "Yeah, *you* cheat - just like your buddies in Team
Rocket and the rest of CHAOS! Or have you been conveniently ignoring what
they've been up to?"
     "You think we're with CHAOS?" Athena wondered, gently sliding Squirtle
back towards Ash with her foot. "Somebody's giving you sloppy information; the
only time we dealt with them was swapping rooms with a couple of their
members. Anyway, I think your Pokemon's about had it - I really don't want to
get rough with you, Ash, or any of your Pokemon."
     Ash looked down, blinking. "Squirtle!! Aw, man - return!" He recalled
Squirtle to its Pokeball, swapping it for another. "Bulbasaur, go! Leech
Seed!"
     Athena raised her eyebrows as the seed Pokemon materialized. "I kinda
wish you *would* give up -" She darted to the side, seeing the innocuous-
looking seed on its way out of Bulbasaur's back-bulb, and letting it sail
harmlessly out of the way. "Uh, I've seen that technique being used, Ash ...
not that it works so great against humans, but still ..."
     Ash clenched a fist. "Laugh if you want. Bulbasaur, use Solar Beam!!"
     "Ash is in rare form tonight," Tarou said admiringly as Hiroshi dived
under the replaced announcers' table for cover. "The kid's going right for the
strongest attacks his creatures have to work with ..."
     "Bulbulbulbulbulbulbulbulbulbulbulba-SAUR!!!!" Bulbasaur finished
focusing the available light, leaned forward to aim its bulb directly at
Athena, and fired; the fact that Athena was technically blocking didn't help
as the massive wave of concentrated light energy slammed into her, shoving her
into the ropes and holding her there. Kensou would have been struck too, if he
hadn't jumped off the corner of the apron just in time; as it was, the part of
the blast which didn't hit Athena slammed into the audience-protecting force
field, leaving a large number of spectators momentarily blinded.
     "ALL RIGHT!!" Ash cheered. "Good job, Bulbasaur! You got her!"
     "Athena!!" Kensou leapt back up to the apron, leaning over to check on
his partner. "You okay?"
     "...." Athena gasped, trying to get air back into her lungs. She brought
her arm up, slapping her hand against Kensou's, and slipped between the ropes
so that Kensou could jump into the ring.
     "That was going too far!" Kensou shouted, cracking his knuckles, then
drawing back. "Cho-kyuu-dan!" A ball of psychokinetic power shot across the
ring at Bulbasaur, who barely managed to scramble out of the way; Ash had to
jump up onto the ropes to avoid getting hit.
     "HEY! Bulbasaur, Vine Whip now!"
     "Bulba!!" The lizard-like Pokemon extended its vines, commencing to beat
down on Kensou from across the ring; agile as he was, the Chinese martial
artist wasn't quite fast enough to get out of the way, and wound up with the
beginnings of several nasty bruises on his face, arms, and legs.
     "Be careful, Kensou!" Athena called from her spot on the apron. "Don't
underestimate any of his Pokemon!"
     "You mean don't underestimate *ME!*" Ash corrected, clenching his fist.
"You're fighting a Pokemon master now, not some washed-up kickboxer and a
mind-controlled karate guy! All right, Bulbasaur, use your Razor Leaf!"
     "I thought Ash was trying to *become* a Pokemon master," Hiroshi
commented, "but he's living up to his aspirations right now, whether he
actually made it yet or not! The Psycho Soldiers seem to have their hands full
right now -"
     "It's a wonder that the Psycho Soldiers have lasted as long as they have
in Ultra," snorted Tarou. "They fought better when Bison was still controlling
them ... what're you giving me that look for?"
     Hiroshi glared at Tarou, not quite as impressively as Iori had glowered
earlier. "Don't *EVER* say anything nice about Bison."
     Tarou shrugged and went back to announcing. "Either way, it looks like -
hrm, Ash is recalling Bulbasaur. What next, I wonder?"
     Faced with Kensou's agility in the ring, none of Bulbasaur's attacks had
been able to connect, and the Pokemon was too tired to use another Solar Beam
so soon; with his active Pokemon exhausted, Ash had finally been forced to
recall Bulbasaur. "All right," Ash growled, expanding a fresh Pokeball. "Time
for you to see how you do against the strongest Pokemon I've got ... GO,
CHARIZARD!!"
     "HOLY CRAP!" yelped Hiroshi. "Ash is calling out Charizard, his most
powerful but least controllable Pokemon! What does Ash think he's doing?"
     "Winning," was Tarou's succinct reply as the dragon-like Pokemon
materialized in the ring, coming close to filling it. "Okay, *now* the Psycho
Soldiers don't stand a chance."
     Kensou stared up at Charizard for a moment; the giant Pokemon casually
scratched its neck, snorting a few flames as it regarded the human who was
facing it.
     "Okay, Charizard!" shouted Ash. "Flamethrower attack!"
     Kensou leapt into the air, unleashing a series of kicks at Charizard's
chest and the base of its neck; the fire Pokemon didn't even seem to notice
its attacker, or even to care, as Kensou finished his attack and landed. "This
isn't going well," Kensou muttered as he looked up at Charizard again, then
across the ring at Ash - and he saw his opening.
     "And Kensou is going right *past* Charizard!" Hiroshi shouted. "It looks
like he's heading straight for -" He was interrupted by a pained roar from
Charizard, which slowly turned around to face Kensou again, keeping its tail
up off the ground.
     "Call your dragon off, kid," Kensou told Ash, putting on his best tough-
guy air. "This is just getting ridiculous; you can't even *control* this
beast."
     "Shut UP!!!" Ash shouted, punching Kensou in the stomach and stepping
back into the corner. "Charizard, Fire Spin!"
     "Ash, no!" "KENSOU!!"
     Misty and Athena screamed at the same time, one in protest, the other in
fear, as a gout of flame shot out of Charizard's mouth and enveloped Kensou in
a spinning inferno, a wall of flames which closed in on the psychic martial
artist and kept him from escaping. A few stray flames licked at Ash's jacket,
but the angry Charizard kept enough control to focus its attack on Kensou,
who'd stomped on its tail on his way over to confront Ash.
     After half a minute which felt like an eternity, the flames dissipated.
Kensou's body and clothes were scorched black, and for a heart-stopping second
he seemed to be completely immobile ... but then, he coughed and fell to his
knees.
     Ash's smirk grew prominent. "That's what you get for trying to take me
out illegally," he boasted, glaring defiantly at the charred Kensou. "Had
enough yet?"
     "Oh my gods ... KENSOU!! Tag!" Athena leaned as far over the ropes as
she could, holding her hand out towards Kensou. "C'mon, Sie-kun, tag out! You
can't keep fighting like this!"
     "Ash, that's *enough!*" Misty cried out, working her way along the apron
towards Ash's corner. "Call Charizard back and give me a chance to fight
them!"
     "Nothing doing, Misty!" retorted Ash. "It's my duty as a Pokemon trainer
to fight Team Rocket and their allies!"
     "If they were really with Team Rocket, wouldn't they have shown it by
now?" replied Misty. "They haven't tried to steal our Pokemon, they haven't
done anything that's against the rules - this isn't a Pokemon battle,
remember?"
     "Wasn't trying to hit you," Kensou grunted as he finally stumbled back
to his feet, "just to talk - ITEE!!" Charizard had smacked him in the chest,
backhanding Kensou towards his and Athena's corner; fortunately, he got far
enough without collapsing for Athena to make the tag, and the two of them
traded places.
     "If it's a fight you want, Ash," Athena called as she entered the ring,
"then I swear you'll get one now!" She leapt up to the top rope, then sprang
off it into the air, tucking into a ball at the peak of her jump. "PHOENIX
ARROW!!" Telekinetic energy wrapped around Athena as she descended at
Charizard, slamming into the back of the Pokemon's neck and rolling down
against it to the ring. It must have actually hurt; Charizard roared angrily
and turned around to face her.
     "That's it, Charizard, keep fighting!" shouted Ash, now ignoring Misty's
desperate entreaties. He was going to beat these fakes, no matter what it
took! "Don't give up!"
     Athena leapt at Charizard again, unleashing a Renkan Tai snap-kick into
the Pokemon's belly, then followed up with a Psycho Sword, rising into the air
with a shaft of focused psychic power clutched in her hand. For the first time
in the match, Charizard started to waver, looking slightly dizzy.
     Misty muttered a curse under her breath, then smacked Ash in the back of
the head. "Ash, you have to let me tag in! Even Charizard can't keep this up
for long, not against psychic attacks! That's why they're the *Psycho*
Soldiers, remember?"
     "Blast it!!" howled Ash, yanking on the rope in frustration. "Come on,
hang in there, Charizard! You can do it!"
     Charizard's head seemed to clear, and it shot a look down at Athena,
opening its mouth and inhaling deeply. "Flamethrower attack!" Ash shouted, and
Charizard actually obeyed, spewing fire down at the spot where Athena was
standing.
     Or rather, where she had been standing; by the time Charizard's flames
splashed off the canvas, Athena was hovering in mid-air right above
Charizard's snout. "SHINING CRYSTAL BIT!!" shouted Athena, channeling all of
her power into her ultimate attack; psychic power flared around her body in a
blinding flash, then condensed into a pair of bright blue crystal orbs,
whipping around her now bikini-clad body.
     One of the crystals slammed right into the side of Charizard's muzzle,
slapping the Pokemon's head around hard enough to dizzy Charizard and give it
a noticeable, if not serious, case of whiplash. Sensing her opening, Athena
opened her eyes again and raised her hand over her head, recalling the crystal
orbs and combining their power into a single sphere of pure psychic energy.
"Oyasumi! CRYSTAL SHOOT!!"
     With a brilliant flash, the combined crystals rocketed right into the
side of Charizard's skull, unleashing their energy in a crackle of power that
drove the giant fire Pokemon completely into unconsciousness. Athena dropped
back to the canvas, once more garbed in her regular fighting clothes; seconds
later, Charizard toppled over, its head hanging over the side of the ring.
     "What the - ?! NO!!!!" Ash sank to his knees, staring at the unconscious
Pokemon. "This can't be happening ... how did they - !?"
     "It's finished, Ash," Athena told the younger boy sternly. "We've beaten
your Pokemon; it's time for you to admit defeat."
     "Not yet, it isn't ..." Misty vaulted over the ropes. "Ash, recall
Charizard and let me take care of this. I can still win this match for us."
     Ash slowly raised his head. "Misty ... all right. Charizard, return."
With the dull look of defeat in his eyes, Ash recalled Charizard to its
Pokeball, and climbed between the ropes to head back to his corner.
     Athena stared at Misty for a moment as the young red-haired girl took
out a Pokeball of her own. "Even after that - ?" she started to ask.
     Misty didn't let her finish. "I'm part of Team Pokemon too, you know.
Starmie, go!" She flung the Pokeball out, releasing the starfish Pokemon.
"Water Gun!"
     Athena jumped to the side, evading the high-pressure stream of water
Starmie shot at her. "All right then ... Psycho Ball!" Bringing her hands
forward, Athena hurled a sphere of telekinetic power towards Misty's Pokemon,
striking it dead-on and hurling Starmie back towards the ropes.
     "Swift attack, now!" shouted Misty. Righting itself, Starmie pulled
upright once more, and a shower of energy stars radiated from the central
jewel; Athena tried to dodge again, but the Swift attack closed in too quickly
and over too wide an area for her to evade successfully, and with a brief cry
of pain, Athena dropped to one knee.
     "Good work, Starmie!" Misty cheered. "Now, use your Tackle attack!"
     Athena looked up, shaking her head to clear it as Starmie took to the
air, spinning rapidly, and shot towards her. Athena dropped flat to the
canvas, and Starmie soared right over her - but while she was getting to her
feet, the starfish-like Pokemon curved around to hit her from behind, sending
Athena back down to the mat.
     "Okay!" Misty beamed happily, but her smile faded again as she looked at
Athena's prone form. *Using our Pokemon against them ... against the Psycho
Soldiers ...* She shook her head. *This is how we fight in Ultra, no matter
who we're up against.* "Starmie, hit her again!"
     "Not this time," muttered Athena, back on her feet but not entirely
steady. "Sorry, Misty ..." She swiveled to face the rapidly approaching
Starmie, and spread her hands wide in front of her. "Psycho Reflector!"
     "Starmie, dodge it!!" yelped Misty in alarm, but her Pokemon was going
too fast to swerve out of the way, and Starmie plowed right into the sparkling
magenta field of psychokinetic energy, rebounding away and slamming into the
turnbuckles as crackling tendrils of power faded from its form.
     "Oh, no ..." Misty held up her Pokeball, seeing that the gem in
Starmie's center was flickering erratically. "Starmie, return!"
     Athena gave Misty another apologetic look, much like the one she'd given
Ash earlier. "I'm sorry I had to do that, Misty ..."
     "No you're not," Ash interrupted. "Misty, tag out. I've got one more
Pokemon I can use."
     Misty blinked, looking between her partner and her opponent. "Huh? What
are you talking about, Ash?"
     Ash grinned, tugging his cap around. "Oh, just an even stronger Pokemon
than that idiot Charizard - and one that'll do what I tell it to do." He
slapped Misty's hand, not waiting for her okay, and climbed back into the
ring.
     Athena sighed quietly. *Looks like we still have work ahead of us after
all ...* "I don't suppose I can ask if you're going to change your mind about
this?" she asked Ash.
     "Not a chance," Ash smirked in reply as he wound up, then snapped his
arm forward. "I choose you ... SNORLAX!!"
     Athena scrambled back into her corner, pressing her back against the
turnbuckles as the ring creaked under the half-ton-plus weight of the largest
Pokemon on record.
     It was also the laziest Pokemon on record.
     "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ..."
     Ash's jaw dropped. "What the ... Snorlax, wake *UP!!!*"
     Tarou's laughter threatened to drown out Snorlax's snoring. "This is
*RICH!!*" he guffawed, slapping his thigh under the table. "Ash just called
out a Pokemon that's fast asleep! How could I have figured those two twips
might win?"
     Hiroshi sweatdropped. "Ash is trying to wake up his Pokemon, but the
match looks like it's over, unless he recalls his Pokemon or wakes Snorlax up
before the referee finishes the ten-count."
     In the ring, Ash was actually hitting his Snorlax over the head with a
steel chair. "Come *ON*, Snorlax, *WAKE UP!* You big dumb *IDIOT!* Can't even
*FIGHT* ..."
     "Stop it, Ash!!!" Misty hauled out an anime mallet, and gave Ash the
same treatment he was giving Snorlax - with somewhat more effect; at least Ash
noticed when he was hit over the head with a blunt object. "We lost the match!
There's nothing you can do about it now, and it's not Snorlax's fault!" She
sighed heavily, her shoulders slumping. "C'mon ..."
     With a disgusted look at Snorlax, and another one directed at the
triumphant Psycho Soldiers, Ash recalled his sleeping Pokemon and headed out
of the ring.
     As she saw her opponents leaving, Athena pulled away from the referee
(who was trying to raise her arm and Kensou's arm in victory) and hurried to
catch up with them. "Hey, Ash, wait a sec -"
     Ash spun on his heel and gave Athena one of the most hateful looks she'd
ever been witness to, including those she'd been on the receiving ends of.
"Don't even try. I don't want your pity, or your sympathy ... just enjoy your
win." He headed on up the ramp without another word; Misty hesitated, looking
back at Athena, then followed after Ash.
     "Athena?" Kensou came up beside his partner. "You okay?"
     "Yeah ..." Athena nodded slowly. "I just have a hunch we're going to see
those two again."

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(COMMERCIAL: A grassy field, where a young TRAINER is facing off with a
PIDGEY.)

TRAINER: Pokeball, go!!
(He throws a Pokeball, which bounces off of the Pidgey's head)
TRAINER: Huh? It didn't work!
(CLOSE-UP of the fallen Pokeball, revealing the manufacturer's logo)

ANNOUNCER (V/O): Why trust cheaper products? For more than twenty-five years,
Silph Industries has been manufacturing top-quality equipment for Pokemon
trainers!

(CLOSE-UP on another Pokeball, this time with the Silph Co. logo, then ZOOM
OUT to show a different trainer holding it)

TRAINER #2: Pokeball, go!!
(TRAINER #2 throws this Pokeball at a wild Pidgeotto, capturing it without any
trouble)

(STILL of various Silph products, with Silph Co. logo in corner of screen)
ANNOUNCER (V/O): Silph Company Pokemon products, for every trainer's needs!

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

     "It's been a wild night already," said Hiroshi as the cameras resumed
rolling, "but the best is yet to come! The Omega match which we're about to
witness was set up earlier today at the request of an anonymous party who, and
I quote, 'wanted to battle an Evangelion.' What we don't know yet is who made
the challenge, or why; presumably we're about to find out!"
     "What we *do* know," Tarou added, "is that apparently Ayanami Rei is
going to be taking part in the match - and M. Bison, commander of Shadowlaw,
seems to be involved in the match somehow. So ..." He looked over at Hiroshi.
"Any guess who's going to be fighting your alleged girlfriend?"
     Hiroshi looked only a little bit flustered. "Not 'alleged' - and I don't
have any guesses who could have asked to fight an Evangelion. Sephiroth might
still be trying to collect material which will allow him to seek godhood for
himself; survivors from NERV might even be mounting an effort to rescue Rei -
although I don't think that's likely to happen, given that there's nothing
left of NERV at all."
     "Or maybe somebody in Omega just wants to prove that they can take on
something nearly fifty times their size," suggested Tarou. "Lina knows we've
got some really big idiots in Ultra - no idiots quite the size of an
Evangelion, maybe, but there's a few who come real close."
     "I wouldn't call any of the Omega powerhouses 'idiots,' Hiroshi argued.
"Dan's goofy, but he's *Dan* - Taunting Godhead Legend Stone Cold Dan Hibiki!
You've got to respect him for that, if nothing else."
     "Assuming you have to respect him at all. Personally, I might expect
that laughing ditz of a rich girl, or maybe her silver-haired boyfriend, to
try to take on an Evangelion in mecha-to-mecha combat. Or possibly Dark
Schneider, if he wanted a non-title match before Epsilon."
     "Well, it's just a moment longer before we find out who asked for this
match-up. Goku is already at the match location, and the competitors are
expected to arrive shortly. We now take you to -"
     For the second time that evening, Hiroshi was interrupted by the
UltraTron, audible and visual static quickly clearing to reveal M. Bison's
grinning visage. "Yes, the match which I requested is just about to start, is
it not ... ? Excellent." Bison's picture flickered briefly, and then the
UltraTron went back to normal, showing the reddish sands of an alien desert.
Hovering in mid-air well above the surface, Goku was clearly visible on the
giant screen, ready for the match to begin as soon as the fighters arrived.
     The two portals opened at the same time, each one easily large enough
for an Evangelion to come through - and within seconds, two Evas emerged onto
the battlefield, one painted blue with a single large eye, the other colored
red.
     Bison spoke over the audio feed. "In truth, little clone-boy, your
information was accurate so far as it went ... save that *I* was the one to
request the match. After all, who better to test my newest puppet against than
another Evangelion pilot ... ?"
     Hiroshi's mouth worked silently for a moment, until he was finally able
to speak again. "What have you done to Rei, you psycho?!"
     "What have I *done* to her?" Bison laughed out loud, although he could
only be heard - he left the video feed alone. "Hardly anything, save to
establish my dominance of what little mind she has. That fool Ikari wanted a
tool, a puppet ... Rei Ayanami never had more volition than she needed to
pilot an Evangelion into battle and survive. I haven't done anything to that,
oh no ... I've just made certain that she can't rebel against me. Sit back and
enjoy the match ... I'm certain that I will."
     Completely unaware of Bison's tapping into the UltraDome's audio feed,
Goku looked at each of the competitors' mecha. "All right ... remember the
rules. That goes especially for you, Asuka - don't try to destroy the world
this time, all right?"
     Eva-02 growled, its hands flexing. Eva-00 remained completely still and
silent; only the barest glimmer of an AT Field gave any evidence to Goku that
the blue Evangelion was indeed activated.
     "Very well then ... Fight!"

][ OMEGA MATCH #2
][ REI AYANAMI/EVANGELION UNIT 00 vs. ASUKA LANGLEY/EVANGELION UNIT 02
][ FIGHT!

     No sooner had Goku given the command to begin than Eva-02's mouth gaped
open, its hands spreading wide as it raised its arms, and three staggering
blasts of hellfire issued forth, burning white-hot as they scoured the air
between red Eva and blue Eva -
     Only to stop short of their target, running into Eva-00's AT Field with
a crackling discharge of stray energies.
     Undaunted, Asuka continued battering at her enemy's AT Field with
hellfire blasts. "What's the matter, doll?!" Asuka screamed, her mind embedded
somewhere in the depths of her Evangelion. "Too scared to *really* fight? Come
on, don't just stand there - FIGHT ME, DAMN YOU!!!"
     Eva-02 pulled back, then unleashed an even more titanic blast of
hellfire; Eva-00 just stood there and took it, ripples and fluxes of energy
visible from its AT Field as it absorbed the power being unloaded into it.
     "Perfect," murmured Bison, not caring that he could be heard in the
UltraDome and by viewers around the world. Nor did he care that both Lain and
the regular Ultra technical crews were trying to find a way to lock him back
out of their systems; their frantic efforts would shortly be meaningless.
"You're living up to my expectations completely, Ayanami; don't falter now."
     "i understand." Rei's voice carried no hint of emotion.
     "I don't understand," muttered Hiroshi, back at the UltraDome. "Rei's
just standing there and letting Asuka pound on her - why isn't she fighting
back?"
     "Maybe Bison wants to see if she'll let herself be killed?" guessed
Tarou, thereby earning himself another glare from Hiroshi.
     "COME ON, DAMN YOU!!!" howled Asuka, continuing to send blast after
blast of hellfire at the blue Evangelion. "DAMN YOU, YOU LITTLE CLONE DOLL
BITCH, *FIGHT* *BACK*!!!"
     Bison laughed again, long and hard, a laugh of triumph. "Very well ...
Rei, give her what she wants so badly!"
     "yes, sir." For the first time since its arrival on the battlefield,
Evangelion Unit 00 began walking forward, one slow step at a time, heading
directly for Eva-02 as though they were tied together by a rope around their
waists, not even flinching at the continued assault which Asuka was turning
loose on it.
     Asuka started laughing herself, then stopped to summon two giant
hellfire swords, holding one in each of her Eva-self's hands. "Come on, you
stupid doll! COME ON AND DIE!!! Die like you should have died every other time
the odds were against you - LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED WHEN WE FOUGHT BEFORE!!"
Eva-02 broke into a full-out run, one sword extended in front of it, the other
drawn back to strike, both shining like furious stars with their own withering
light.
     For a split second, any onlooker - including Goku - would have sworn
that Eva-00 wasn't even there when the first sword reached it, but in the next
instant it was very definitely there, holding the sword in place with a
crackling violet AT Field - if it *was* an AT Field; the normal concentric
hexagons that marked contact with an Absolute Terror Field were nowhere to be
seen, but the point of contact was outlined by crackling tendrils of raw
energy, the AT Field occasionally flickering into opacity around that region
of contact. With an unholy scream of rage, Eva-02 brought its other sword down
in an overhead smash - and the second hellfire blade met the same obstacle as
the first.
     "Well ..." Hiroshi licked his lips nervously, then swallowed.
"Whatever's happened to Rei, her fighting skills certainly haven't suffered
for it. She's holding Asuka off without any trouble -"
     Eva-00's arm moved almost too fast to see, and then the red Evangelion's
head snapped back, stumbling away. "What in the world was THAT?!" exclaimed
Hiroshi.
     Eva-02 shook its head as though to clear it, then fused its hellfire
swords together and spun the resulting construct over its head, moving towards
its opponent once more. The blue Evangelion stood there for a fraction of a
second, as though waiting, then *moved* too fast for anyone but Goku to really
see.
     What the watchers other than Goku *did* see next was Eva-00, bent over
in front of Eva-02, with unit 00's elbow driven into the midsection of the red
mecha. Asuka's weapon of hellfire dissipated as she reeled from the pain, her
Evangelion staggering back; fragments of armor plate fell away, partially
burying themselves in the sand upon impact. Goku just blinked quietly, but
didn't interfere.
     "Very good," commented Bison. "Again!"
     Rei didn't respond verbally this time, but reached up with her Eva's
arm, grabbed Eva-02 by the back of the head, turned, and flung it forward over
its shoulder in the space of about two seconds; the red Evangelion went
flying, landing face-first in the sand three kilometers away and sliding to a
halt.
     Asuka's Evangelion form raised its head, spitting out sand, and started
to get up; it had barely gotten its hands underneath it before Eva-00 came
crashing down on the small of the Eva's back, feet first - and then twisted
its heels, digging through the armor once more, before bringing the heel of
its hand down at the back of Eva-02's neck with an audible *crunch*.
     Bison was having too much of a good time to interrupt it by laughing
now, to judge by the sound of his voice. "Excellent! Let her up ... if she can
still stand, that is."
     "Holy ... Rei is just *dismantling* Asuka out there!" gasped Hiroshi as
Eva-00 jumped away from its fallen opponent, then turned to face the red Eva
as it struggled back to its feet.
     "You ... you ... !!" Eva-02's eyes glowed with an unholy light,
reflecting Asuka's increasing fury. "DIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" She didn't
bother with weapons or in-fighting techniques this time: instead, Eva-02
simply flung itself bodily at Eva-00, hands raised as though to twist the blue
Evangelion's head off. The two Evangelions failed to collide, though -
instead, AT Field met AT Field, the concentric hexagons of Asuka's AT Field
contrasting sharply with the layers of chaos that defined the limits of Rei's
barrier as the two clashed, each striving to overwhelm the other.
     It took maybe six seconds before Eva-02's AT Field flickered out,
leaving the Evangelion to slump against the not quite invisible barrier which
still protected Eva-00.
     "Very good, Rei!" thundered Bison. "Now, finish her off!"
     "yes, commander." Eva-00 pushed its crimson opponent away, letting Asuka
stagger as she tried to stay upright. Unit 00's AT Field flared up, folding in
on itself as it intensified into full visibility, even as the blue Evangelion
folded itself into a crouch, starting to lean forward.
     "What the -" Hiroshi stared at the UltraTron. "What is Rei *doing*!? It
looks like she's going to use her AT Field itself as a weapon - !"
     Eva-00 jumped towards Eva-02, stretching out to its full length with its
arms locked in front of it, as the AT Field flared outwards again, crackling
with energy as it took to the air. Rei spoke again, just two words, even as
her Evangelion flew at her opponent: "psycho crusher."
     Hiroshi, and most of the Ultra audience, could only stare at disbelief
as Evangelion Unit 00 twisted through the air, slamming into Eva-02 and
carrying it along with the blast of its warped AT Field; Goku had to move out
of the way as the Evangelions parted again, one sliding to a halt on its knees
and the other flying head-over-heels.
     It was the red Evangelion, Unit 02, which landed hardest and did not get
up; as it settled to the sand, the Evangelion's body began to break down and
dissolve, shrinking back into Asuka's unconscious form. Goku only needed to
see Eva-02 start decomposing before he announced his decision. "The winner of
this match is Rei Ayanami, in Evangelion Unit 00!"
     A much smaller portal opened near the spot where Eva-02 fell, large
enough for Yashiro and Chris to stagger out into the punishing heat of the
desert. They scooped Asuka's body up as soon as her transformation was
completed, and carried her back through the portal to Hell, letting it close
behind them. They seemed to be talking to each other, although nobody was
close enough to hear them.
     In the UltraDome, Hiroshi would have sworn he could almost hear Bison
smirking as he spoke again: "Very well done, Rei. Return to base!"
     "i am on my way, commander ikari." Eva-00 disappeared through another
portal.
     Tarou blinked. "Wait a sec, I thought Ikari got killed just before NERV
was ..."
     Hiroshi looked like Marlo had just broken a table over his head. "That's
all the time we have for tonight," he announced, trying to muster some of his
usual enthusiasm. "From Ultra, this is Hiroshi and Tarou, bidding you good
night."

     A clock ticks.
     A watch swings.
     A voice speaks of sleep.
     A curiosity.
     A revelation.
     A fear.
     A decision.
     A hiding place...
     Hiding something...
     Something she fears but must touch...
     Fears -
     Kasumi found herself lying on her back, with Doctor Tofu holding her 
down.  She briefly wondered why, until she realized it was because she was 
thrashing around.  So, she stopped.
     "... Doctor?" she asked.  "How did I get ...?  I thought I was in that 
chair ..."
     Doctor Tofu sighed in relief ... visibly shaken, although Kasumi
couldn't remember what she did that was so unsettling.  "Kasumi ... you had
some kind of seizure!  I just put you under simple hypnosis so you could
remember that answer you were talking about, and when I asked, you just ...
freaked out.  I don't get it.  I've never seen anybody react so strongly, the
process is supposed to be calming.  I'm sorry ... I, uh ..."
     "It's okay, Tofu," Kasumi said, resting her steady hand on his shaking 
hand.  "I'm okay now.  It's over.  I'm sure you did just fine ... it's just 
that whatever I'm dealing with here, it's ..."
     "I don't understand," Tofu said, voice becoming slightly bitter.  "You 
stopped being god.  You got OUT of all that.  You shouldn't be in danger 
anymore.  Why is that ... 'angel' dragging you back into it all?  I saw what 
happened at Reboot, Kasumi!  Is something like that going to happen again?"
     Kasumi lowered her head.  "I don't know, Tofu.  I don't know and 
Metatron doesn't know.  But I do know this is too important to avoid ... even 
if it scares me, as well.  ... You'll support me, ne?  We can figure it out 
together.  Maybe one time didn't work, but -"
     The angel popped her head in the doorway.  "Eh?  What's that?  It didn't 
work?"
     "No, it didn't," Tofu repeated, standing up to the angel.  "Look, 
repressed memories aren't easily found.  This could take awhile."
     "We don't have awhile, mortal.  We've got all the time in the world and 
no time whatsoever.  We -"
     "What's that supposed to mean?"
     "It's a bad human translation for a concept your mind can't possibly 
grasp," Skuld/Metatron explained.  "Now, how long is this going to take?  
Realistically."
     "I don't know.  Weeks, possibly," Tofu said.. looking at Kasumi, 
worried.  "I'll do what I can.  This would be easier if you could just 
contact the ones responsible for this mess, they've got powers and--"
     "No way.  Heaven's to be left out of finding the answer.  If THEY get 
it, there's a chance we might lose it forever," Skuld scolded, as if it 
should've been obvious.  "We're solo on this.  Weeks?  Fine.  I'll be back 
next week to check up on you guys."
     "A week?" Kasumi asked.  "You're leaving?  But what about lying low?"
     "That show gave me an idea.  I need to investigate some things," 
Metatron said, adjusting her coat.  "You've got the payload, I think I've got 
the delivery mechanism.  I just have to put a few plans into motion so 
everything carries off right.  To do that, I need you two to hurry it along, 
yeah?"
     Doctor Tofu stopped masking his frown.  "You're asking for miracles.  
I'm not sure I want to go along with this.  It's upsetting Kasumi, and -"
     He felt an arm touch lightly on his shoulder.
     "... Metatron is right," Kasumi spoke to him.  "I don't know why, but he 
is.  I feel it deep inside ... something of incredible importance.  We can't 
ignore it.  I'm sorry, Tofu ... but this is my duty.  I may have left my 
office, but I've left dangerous loose ends..."
     "You can blame your predecessors for that," Metatron grumbled.  "For 
Third Impact, Yggdrasil, Heaven, Hell, and all the other 'upgrades' on top of 
a perfect system... it's not your fault.  Look ... Tofu-san.  I know I'm an 
annoying sort, but I've got the best intentions of all creation at heart.  It 
MUST be found - there can be no other way.  I'm sorry it's got to be such a 
mess for you, but that's reality.  Now... where's the bathroom?  I need to 
borrow your sink for a quick teleport."
     "Where are you going to go?" Kasumi asked.
     "Hell," Metatron responded.  "Needless to say, I'm going to want some 
ice cream when I get back.  I understand it's rather balmy down there."

][ ULTRA EPISODE 49 RESULTS RECAP

][ MEWTWO learns about M. BISON
][ SANA is STILL RECOVERING
][ SAKURA KASUGANO beats MARLO SEMAJ, now at 13W/4L
][ RANMA comes THIS >< CLOSE to PUNKING MARLO
][ HUNGRY WOLVES defeat SAMURAI SWORDSMEN, now at 6W/6L
][ NUKU NUKU triumphs against MEWTWO, now at 2W/1L
][ MEWTWO agrees to HEAL WASYUU
][ IORI wins against WOLVERINE, now at 11W/8L
][ PSYCHO SOLDIERS beat TEAM POKEMON, now at 4W/1L
][ REI AYANAMI/EVA-00 defeats ASUKA LANGLEY/EVA-02, now at 4W/2L
][ REI is UNDER BISON'S CONTROL

][ ANGLE SUMMARIES

 ][ = Angle continues, may have new developments
 [] = Angle is closed, might have been replaced
 }{ = Entirely new angle
 ??  = Possible new angle?  (Can be derived from events)
 XX = Didn't touch on this from past episode very well or at all

[]  Shermie stalks Daisuke *
  (She couldn't kill him when she had the chance; now she's hanging with
  CHAOS)
[]  Gally and the CyberGrrlz vs. MewTwo
  (Mewtwo's finally agreed to restore Wasyuu)
][  Nabiki's profit-mongering reign over Ultra
  (Things aren't always going to her liking, but she's still raking it in)
][ CHAOS using Lain Iwakura to help take control of some things in
    Ultra
  (Lain's staying in touch with Jack about matters that may or may not be of
  concern)
][  Team Pokemon as Heels
  (Meowth persuaded Ash that the Psycho Soldiers are bad guys)
][  Hiroshi's woes of Love
  (Rei's under Bison's control; Lilith has yet to give up)
][  Marlo vs. Akane rivalry for the Hardcore belt
  (Akane stops Ranma from punking Marlo - which would have given Marlo a win)
][  Yohko and Iori's relationship
  (Yohko tried to punk Morrigan, got mauled for her efforts)
}{ Metatron and the search for the "Answer" *
  (Kasumi can't remember the "answer," so Metatron is getting help from Hell)
}{ Psycho Soldiers and Mewtwo
  (Mewtwo knows about M. Bison, but what'll come of it?)
?? Disciples of the Void reorganization *
  (Shermie's gone astray; Chris and Yashiro haven't had a Lambda match yet)
XX  Jack and Daisuke, Ultra managers
  (Unless they agree to an extremely uneven fight at URE, all of CHAOS is
  fired)
XX  Sephiroth, the man who would be God
  (He succeeded in taking down another agent, although it's doubtful Urd 
  will be out for long)
XX  Morrigan vs. every red-blooded male in Ultra ^_^;
  (She's not letting Mr. Satan off easily, no matter what he wants...)
XX  Heaven vs. Hell
  (Some random brawling, but they were mostly occupied by the end of the
  world)
XX  Mewtwo v. Pokemon trainers and/or Voiduck
  (He wants them all to be free, but who's his next target?)
XX  Ranma's many wild emotional issues
  (How will he take Akane's punk by Marlo?)
XX  Cham Cham is after Haohmaru's hand in marriage
  (She and Blanka do have their first win, though)
XX  B-ko and Sephiroth, Lovers
  (Sephiroth finally returns some of B-ko's attention)

AUTHOR'S NOTES:
     I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting. @.@ Otakon, plus term paper and
homework for the course I'm taking this summer ... the timing left a lot to be
desired. x.x; At least I got it done, right? ^_^;;
     Unfortunately, I wasn't able to develop some of the existing angles as
much as I would have liked in this part - I've had plenty to work with as it
is, though, so I hope you're not disappointed.
     Note on the angle summaries: an asterisk (*) indicates a development
which took place in Delfina's episode, but since she didn't do the angle
summary list I've accounted for those couple of developments above.

Thanks go to Twoflower for the usual - creating MTCFF Ultra and being kind to
authors under stress, but also for writing the scenes involving the Metatron
plot thread and helping me work out where to put them.
Thank you, Mechalink, for stepping up to preread at the last minute. ^_^
And, of course, thanks go out to all of the other usual suspects: SNK, Capcom,
Nintendo, and I've forgotten how many other companies and individuals for
creating the characters depicted in Ultra.