In a darkened room, powerful men watched a small glowing box.  
Occasionally one would make a cryptic note or whisper excitedly to a 
colleague, but for the most part they were spellbound by the flickering 
screen.

"Since you were stupid enough to join up with Jack, and have been stupid 
enough to work against Miss Tendo nearly since she took command of this 
organization... well, I think we need to send a message to the real 
fighters of Ultra."

Jack Lysias was intimidated by it all.  It wasn't the tight little room, 
or the expensive suits, or the fact that he really didn't understand 
what was happening...  No, what really unnerved Jack was the fact that 
they were here to decide his fate.  Jail was no fun at all, he had 
discovered.  Controversy just couldn't exist behind bars.

"So pretty.  Such a shame, really."

And why did his lawyers insist on showing an old Ultra tape to the 
prosecutors?  Shouldn't they be poring over their law books, finding an 
obscure loophole, or maybe checking up on the police who had arrested 
him, in search of a cop with a bias against red hair and rubber ducks?

"'Sexiest woman in Lambda' has a nice ring to it, don't you think?  
...they're still awake?  Marlo, do you mind?"

"Not at all."  

**CRUNNNK**  "Oooof"

On the other hand, this certainly seemed to be having an effect.  The 
lead prosecutor, who had been so cruelly on the Beekster's side in 
court, looked positively nauseous as he watched Team Rocket get beaten 
to a pulp.  Maybe these overpriced suits really were worth the money 
Karin had shelled out.

"Nothing like whipping a couple of pansy asses to put me in a good 
mood....  Seeing them out of commission to defend their title would be 
even better, though."

A remote control was raised, a button pressed.  The VCR stopped and the 
picture dissolved into random static.  Light switches were flipped, and 
the knot of lawyers collectively sat back in their seats.

"As you can see, gentlemen, any crimes that my client allegedly 
committed pale in comparison with the outrages perpetrated against his 
associates... outrages perpetrated by my client's primary accuser and 
her agents.  One might argue that his alleged offenses were merely the 
acts of a man defending his livelihood.

"And in any case, these charges are an incredible overreach.  No one was 
harmed in the incident.  No one was held at any location against their 
will.  The only people harmed were those who did not arrive at the event 
on time - and they merely lost the money they had spent on tickets and 
transportation.  Miss Tendo herself made out quite well from this 
incident - replay purchase rates for UltraRage Epsilon were almost twice 
as high as those for previous Ultra pay-per-views."

The lead prosecutor had recovered his composure, and shot a disapproving 
glance at Jack before responding.  "While I admit that we might have 
trouble proving thousands of cases of kidnapping, there is no doubt in 
my mind that Mr. Lysias is guilty of at least the lesser charges.  As 
for Nabiki Tendo-"

"We can help you get her.  And you haven't seen _anything_ yet."  The 
lawyer raised the remote control once again.

"Are you ready for a little... ULTRAVIOLENCE?!"

"SURE!"

***

Two bodies lay still on examination tables in a quiet, darkened room.  A 
monstrous looking machine covered with glowing status indicators hovered 
between them, ghastly mechanical arms reaching out to grasp the heads of 
its victims.  After an indeterminate amount of time, the indicators 
dimmed, the arms retracted, and one of the bodies began to stir.  A 
rested yawn changed into a tortured gasp as a door opened and the 
overhead lights switched on.

"Wakey, wakey!"

Athena sat up and opened her eyes for the second time, squinting against 
the brightness.  "How long did it take?  Did it work?"  She looked over 
to where Sie lay motionless.  "Is he all right?"

"Six days, looks like it, probably."  Washuu pulled out a hand scanner 
and proceeded to take Athena's vital signs.  "Let's see.  Metabolism up 
30 percent, psychic function up 75 percent, personality definition down 
10 percent.  Everything looks like I expected.  How do you feel?"

Athena slid off the bed onto her feet.  She stretched for a moment and 
rolled her head back and forth, then tensed her muscles.  A purple aura 
formed about her, faintly at first, but growing to nearly blinding 
brilliance as she concentrated.  She let go of the power, but her 
muscles didn't unclench for a second and the aura didn't fade right 
away.  She almost complained to Washuu about it, but just as the words 
were about to leave her mouth she realized that she could not afford any 
more delays.  "Pretty good, I guess.  Better than I expected!"

"Great!"  Washuu turned to Sie for a second to take his vitals as well.  
"He looks like I expected too, though he probably won't wake up until we 
reverse the procedure."  She turned back to Athena and looked her 
straight in the eye.  "Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?"

She could taste the power now, feel the raw energy coursing through her 
veins.  "I have to.  Bison is already far too powerful, and if he adds 
MewTwo's power to his own then we will never be able to face him."  
Athena smiled suddenly, and casually started juggling balls of raw 
psychic energy.  "Right now, I don't think even Protege could stop me."

Washuu looked a little dubious, but smiled and led Athena out of the 
psychic transference lab.  "At least have a little breakfast before you 
leave."  They walked down a hallway to a conveniently located kitchen.  
"How's it coming?  Washuu asked as the two entered.

Athena gasped as she saw a subdued looking Asuka scrambling eggs in a 
skillet while Mary tried to poor orange juice into hypercube shaped 
cups.  Neither was succeeding - Asuka's eggs were brown and dry looking, 
and Mary just couldn't figure out where the liquid was supposed to go 
in, but neither of them looked to upset.  Mary looked up just in time to 
see Athena flinch back at the sight of Asuka.  "Don't worry," she said 
in a quiet, serious tone, "she's a lot better now, at least while I'm 
around."

"I'm not so sure of that," Washuu said sotto voce once Mary had turned 
back to the breakfast chores.  "She still hasn't spoken a word since she 
arrived, and her nightmares are so bad, I don't think she has slept six 
hours in the last week.  Still, at least she isn't screaming 
continuously anymore.  Please, sit down.  It may not be the most tasty 
breakfast, but your body is going to burn food faster so you'll need all 
the empty calories you can get."

Athena nodded and reached for a steaming bun, which she popped whole 
into her mouth.

***

In another darkened room, evil forces plotted their next assault on the 
powers of good and light.

Well, perhaps not.  Nabiki preferred to keep her office brightly lit.  
She was a businesswoman, and her workplace was designed to radiate power 
and efficiency rather than conspiracy and deception.  Not that she 
didn't mind a little conspiracy and deception from time to time.

And while Morrigan probably counted as an Evil Force(tm), Marlo, the 
samurai, and Tarou were generally regarded as merely mean.  Moreover, 
questions of good and evil were not a part of this conversation - after 
all, in a business like Ultra there are much larger things at stake.

"Dammit Morrigan, do you have any clue how much money Sakura could sue 
us for?  You and your little stunt last week might well have cost us far 
more than your presence here earns, if Karin's lawyers weren't tied up 
with Jack's case.  Well, that's it.  If you disobey me again, you're out 
of here."

"Give her a break, Nabiki!"  Marlo leaned back on his couch and put his 
arm around Morrigan's shoulders.  "She can't help what she is.  If I 
were a sex fixated demon, I would probably kidnap cute teenage girls 
myself."

Nabiki facepalmed, and Tarou shook his head in disgust.  The Samurai 
merely looked bemused.  Morrigan smiled winningly and said, "You can't 
be that angry with me, giving me a tasty little treat like Shermie 
tonight."

"I had to do that.  If I let CHAOS have a moral victory from the 
situation, it would just encourage them to challenge me more often.  
Tonight's fight isn't about you, it's about you punishing Shermie.  Can 
you at least do that for me?"

"Ooooh!  Punishment is something I can always take care of!"

"I didn't mean - oh, never mind.  Just don't go overboard, particularly 
if Sakura shows up.  On the other hand, Marlo, please feel free to go 
was overboard as you want against Bean.  You have the headline fight 
tonight, so make sure it's a spectacular show."

Marlo pulled out an office chair, and idly twirled it on a finger.  
"Don't worry, boss.  I'll give the proles a show they'll never forget."

"Are you sure you don't want some help?  Bean is tough - he put you down 
awfully fast at Epsilon..."

"That doesn't count.  He surprised me that time.  Bean is all muscles 
and no skill, anyway.  The Furnityre Savior will run rings around him."

"The rest of you have the night off.  Wait a minute, not you, Tarou.  
You have to tape a segment with Hiroshi before the show starts, so don't 
just leave."

Haohmaru stood up and announced, "I DESIRE A MATCH!  IT HAS BEEN FAR TOO 
LONG SINCE THE PUBLIC HAS HAD A CHANCE TO GAZE UPON MY MAGNIFICENCE!"

As Nabiki checked if it was safe to pull her fingers out of her ears, 
Kunou chimed in.  "Indeed, Nabiki Tendo, in the time since we agreed to 
help each other out you have only scheduled us to fight once, and that 
never transpired in due to the scheming of that cursed sorcerer Jack.  
If you can not help us gain the glorious Lambda belt, then we have no 
further reason to associate with you."

Nabiki blinked and counted the weeks on her fingers, and realized that 
the two samurai were correct.  "Well then, I guess it's time for the two 
of you to earn your pay.  It just so happens that I have an open Lambda 
fight yet tonight, and the current champions owe me a favor."

"EXCELLENT," grinned Haohmaru.

Nabiki nodded agreement, then reached for the telephone as the fighters 
filed out of the room.  Putting the belt on the Samurai would be a Good 
Thing... but it they surely weren't capable of doing it on their own.

***

In a darkened room, powerful men sat and watched a glowing sphere.  The 
red and white ball still crackled with energy as the discorporated 
Pokemon inside struggled with its bonds.  It had taken Bison's 
scientists all week to determine the safest way to remove MewTwo from 
the master ball so that they could begin to study and siphon its power.  
What they had come up with was simple and direct.

"Are you sure this is safe?"  Sagat had seen dozens, perhaps hundreds of 
entities pass through Bison's labs, and this one was the first that was 
still putting up a fight after more than a couple of days.  "You could 
barely match its power last time."

"Yes, but now it's hurt, and probably drained from fighting the pokeball 
for almost a week.  I can face it down without any problems, and once my 
technicians begin the process of subverting its power, it will be unable 
to even think of putting up resistance."  Bison turned and addressed the 
lab manager.  "You may begin the procedure."

The lab manager in turn nodded to one of his flunkies, who pressed a 
button on his console.  A robotic arm picked up the pokeball and lifted 
it above a large tube filled with a dark, bilious fluid. It pressed the 
button on the ball, and MewTwo emerged in a burst of yellow light.

The Pokemon hovered above the tube, and locked eyes with the Psycho 
powered villain.  There was a momentary test of wills, though neither 
psychic bothered to use his powers.  After a second, MewTwo nodded its 
head and sank into the tube.  As the hatch closed above it, the Pokemon 
went limp.

"There, you see how easy that was?"

"Okay, you were right," Sagat admitted.  Bison stood up and left the 
room, Sagat following behind him.  There were still video cameras and 
technicians watching the tube, but none of them noticed as the Pokemon 
curled its tail in anticipation.

***

Athena stepped out of the portal, and came to a halt in sudden surprise.  
"Hey!  This isn't Shadowlaw headquarters."  She had emerged ringside in 
the empty Ultradome, not at all where she had expected to be.

Washuu deftly managed to avoid running into Athena's back.  "No, it's 
not.  I told you, I don't want to get in a fight with Bison right now.  
I might be able to teleport you there without him detecting me, but I'm 
not going to take that risk.  You'll have to provide your own 
transportation... or you'll have to be your own transportation.  You 
have more than enough power now to fly there on your own."

Shock and pleasure warred briefly for control of Athena's face.  
Pleasure won, and her aura flared once more as she gathered power and 
leapt into the air.  She took a couple of practice laps in the huge open 
cavern of the Ultradome, then waved farewell to Washuu and zipped down 
the service ramp.  Washuu waved back, then returned to her lab through 
the portal.

Neither of them noticed the automated, hovering camera platform which 
took off after Athena.  

***

"Hi, Daisukeeeee!"

"Hello, yourself."

"Aw, what's the matter?  Don't you like working with me?"  Sana put on 
her best hurt-puppy face.

"No, it's just that there's an awful lot of hard fights for my friends 
tonight, and I'm worried that Nabiki's up to something."

"Is there anything I can do to help?  Huh?  Huh?"

Daisuke looked at her strangely for a moment, then smiled gently.  "Not 
really, though if you promise not to rap tonight it would make me very 
happy."

"What?  Can't I rap (rap) (rap) just a itty-bitty (itty-)-"

"Please?"

Sana stuck her lower lip out.  "Okay, I promise.  But you're no fun at 
all."



                              LIVE!
                      FROM THE Ultradome!
                     THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE
                    IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME
                      SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT
                        AND IMPROFANFIC!
                        IT'S TIME FOR...

         { M A G I C A L  T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G }
         {    C R O S S O V E R    F I G H T I N G      }
         {             F E D E R A T I O N              }
         {                .-----------.                 }
         {                | U-L-T-R-A |                 }
         {                `-----------'                 }
         {          http://www.mtcffultra.com           }

                 Episode 55:  Revenge; Lukewarm

                 Written by:  Kerry "Ked" Stump
             Additional writing by:  Brian Stricklin
             and supplementary humor from:  Kryptik1
Excerpts from episodes #50 and #53 by ColdFury and Brian Stricklin



Do I need to mention that the Ultradome was loud?  No?  Good.

Daisuke and Sana took their seats at the announcers' table, and Sana 
leaned forward to give the opening invocation.  "waaaaaaiii!  
ultraviolence!!!"

No one heard her.

The crowd cheered on, oblivious to the fact that the show had started.  
Sana tapped her microphone, pouted for a moment, and yelled for a 
production assistant to help her.  Predictably, without electronic 
amplification or training in the Haohmaru School of LOUD, the techs were 
unable to hear her.

She redoubled her efforts, growing more incensed as nobody paid any 
attention to her.  Even Daisuke, sitting beside her, was hunkered down 
with his fingers in his ears as the crowd continued to roar.  Finally, 
someone in the control booth figured out what was happening and quickly 
raised her microphone level.

"-SONS OF BITCHES GET YOUR GODDAMN FUGGING ACT TOG...  oopsie?"  Sana 
giggled nervously as the crowd went silent, shocked at the string of 
profanities.  "Um, ultraviolence?"

The crowd erupted once more.  There would be lectures to their children 
about proper language in public places and official protests from 
network executives later on, but Ultra was starting now, and everything 
else could wait.

"And we have a great show for you tonight!  Morrigan takes on Shermie in 
an encore of last week's unscheduled brawl!  B-ko wants a piece of Nuku 
Nuku, and tonight she'll get her chance!!  And our main event, a 
Hardcore Title challenge!  Bean's been looking for a shot at Marlo and 
tonight they'll meet right here to settle the grudge!!!  All that and 
more, tonight on UUUULLLLTRRAAAgghh-"  *cough* *cough*

Daisuke thumped Sana on the back a couple of times to help her clear the 
phlegm.  "As Sana says, there's sure to be a lot of exciting action.  
Also tonight is the official announcement of the card for Ultra Reboot 
2.0, coming later this month!  First, though, is the match between 
Morrigan and Shermie.  I see the fighters have already made their way to 
the ring, so let's get started!"

][ Gamma Match
][ Morrigan vs. Shermie
][ Fight!

Shermie hopped up and down in her corner, her long bangs almost but not 
quite bouncing up to reveal her eyes.  As she moved to the center of the 
ring she settled into her fighting stance and approached the succubus 
warily.

Morrigan glared at the former Void fighter with malice visible in her 
eyes.  "You're catching me on a bad night girl.  Nabiki just told me I 
couldn't play with my favorite toy, so I guess I'll have to take out all 
my frustrations on you."

"I'm sure I can handle it... " Shermie quietly declared, but was 
immediately proven wrong as Morrigan took to the wing and tried to take 
the girls head off.  Shermie ducked under it, but Morrigan banked back 
around in time to catch her before she fully recovered.  Shermie went 
flying into a turnbuckle, and Morrigan worked to regain altitude for her 
next attack.

Shermie stood up and turned around just in time to seeing Morrigan 
diving straight for her.  Reacting without thinking, Shermie bicycle-
kicked Morrigan over the ropes and into the audience, where overexcited 
fans tried to rip souvenirs from her scanty clothing.  It took the 
succubus a few seconds to fight free of her crazed admirers, but she 
made it back into the ring with plenty of time to spare.

"I see Shermie's been playing soccer - I've never seen that done in the 
ring before," commented Daisuke.  "So far, this looks like a pretty even 
fight."

Shermie caught her with an Electric Kiss as she came through the ropes, 
but it only seemed to make the demon madder.  Morrigan charged straight 
into the attack once again, and this time managed to grab one of 
Shermie's feet as the girl tried to counter with a kick.

"I think you spoke too soon, Daisuke!  Morrigan's got a grip that I 
don't think Shermie will be able to break!"

With an evil grin on her face, Morrigan leapt up into the air still 
holding Shermie's foot... and kept going up, and up, and up until she 
was level with the lighting walkways far above the mat.  "Let's see if 
you can fly!"

Shermie tried to gather herself for an attack, but Morrigan simply 
dropped her.  The girl fell, screaming, twenty meters to the canvas.  As 
a trained fighter, she was able to roll with some of the impact, but the 
breath was knocked out of her and she lay motionless on the mat.  The 
referee began to count, but he was interrupted when Morrigan swooped 
down and put Shermie in a vicious chokehold.

"Waiwaiwai! Yummy ultraviolence!"

By the time Shermie was alert enough to resist she had lost far too much 
breath to have a chance to break the succubus's iron grip.  She had 
almost lost consciousness when Morrigan suddenly let her go.  Shermie 
collapsed at Morrigan's feet.

"Well, that's it.  Shermie's not going to get up from that."  Daisuke 
eyed the situation nervously.  "The referee is signaling that the fight 
is over, but Morrigan doesn't look like she wants to stop."

"I'm not done with you yet.  Don't think I'll let you off that easy."  
Morrigan viciously kicked Shermie's limp form.  A few people in the 
front rows thought they could hear a rib snap.

"Oh my God!  Someone stop this now!"  Daisuke was frantic as he saw the 
newest addition to CHAOS getting pulped.

Sakura had been watching the fight from the entrance ramp, and now 
gathered herself for an attempt to save Shermie.  She tensed, and was 
just a second away from sprinting down the ramp when a large, heavy hand 
gently grasped her shoulder.  "Don't worry, I'll save your friend.  It's 
my a week for a little retribution so stay out of the way, kid, it would 
be a shame if you got hurt," Wolverine rasped.

The mutant unsheathed his claws as he stormed down towards the ring.  
Rather than leaping over the ropes he simply cut right through them, 
demonstrating their nonregulation, unblunted state.  Morrigan was too 
busy pummeling Shermie and warding off the panicking referee to notice 
her former slave's approach.

This changed rapidly as three long gashes appeared in her side.  Demon 
blood flew everywhere as she spun to face her new opponent.  The referee 
took the opportunity to drag Shermie out of the ring for medical 
attention.

"And Wolverine goes hardcore on Morrigan!  He's playing for keeps - do 
you think she has a chance to get out of this one alive, Daisuke?"

"I sincerely hope not.  Dice her, Wolverine!" he cheered.

Morrigan had been having fun.  Not a lot of fun, as she preferred 
slightly more... sophisticated means of torture than simply pounding 
someone into a bloody pulp, but all traces of merriment left her face as 
she studied the murderously angry mutant.  "I see you have returned to 
your mistress, " she snarled.

Wolverine did didn't bother to answer verbally, instead charging 
straight for her once more, leading with his deadly clause.  Morrigan 
took to the air and once more, but the wounds she had already suffered 
slowed her ascent and Wolverine was able to stick his claws straight 
through one wing and rip the delicate membrane to tatters.

Morrigan screamed in agony as she spiraled out of the ring and crashed 
in the front row.  Wolverine started after her once more, and but looked 
up and saw Lilith, Marlo, and Tarou coming down the entrance ramp for 
him.  "Don't worry," he called to Morrigan, "I'll be back for more 
later."  The mutant and leapt out of the ring, landed on one of the 
Spanish announcers, and made his escape down a service ramp.

***

"I'm not so sure about this, Ash.  I mean, we're trying to keep the bad 
guys from cheating, but isn't what we're doing almost as bad?"

"We're the good guys, Misty, don't ever forget that."  Ash's cap was 
pulled down farther than usual, casting a deep shadow over his eyes.  
"Nabiki told us all about their little scheme, and we would be 
negligent, perhaps even responsible, if we didn't take appropriate 
steps."

"[duck!]" agreed Voiduck, pleased that Ash was so easily manipulated.

"I suppose.  It just seems-"

"Shhh!  I think he's coming out!"

James emerged from the men's locker room, freshly showered.  His blue-
violet hair was even pointier than usual, having just been blown dry and 
moussed.  The white Team Rocket uniform was bleached to a blinding white 
and properly starched to eliminate those uncool wrinkles.  Tonight would 
be another glorious defense of Team Rocket's Lambda title, and Nabiki, 
despite her opposition to CHAOS fighters in general, had been kind 
enough to give them some easy opposition.  Life, not to put too fine a 
point on it, was good.

"Voiduck!  Now!"

"[VOI]," chirped Voiduck.  It waddled out into the hall and fixed its 
mournful gaze on the strutting Pokemon trainer.

James froze as Voiduck appeared in front of him.  There was time only 
for the beginning of panic to set in before the Pokemon's black aura 
flared.  James fell to his knees as the migraine erupted in his skull.

***

"Do you have a moment?"

B-Ko looked up from the workbench in her dressing room, a sharp comment 
forming on her lips... then calmed down slightly when she saw who her 
visitor was.  "I *am* a bit busy, Tendo-san," she replied, turning back 
to the BioSuit laid out on the table.  "I must make some adjustments 
before my fight with that insufferable catgirl."

"That's why I'm here, actually."  Nabiki remained leaning against the 
doorway, casually holding a small package in one hand.  "You and I have 
never really had a chance to talk since I took over Ultra."

"There hasn't been much reason to do so," B-ko admitted.  "To be sure, I 
prefer you to that uncultured oaf you replaced, but when all is said and 
done, it matters little to me who runs this... barbaric display."

"Understandable.  Out of curiosity... had you been wondering why I 
booked you against Nuku Nuku?"

The mecha designer paused.  That *had* been odd - she was going to 
finish her latest masterpiece of destruction before requesting the 
match, only to find that it had been made for her.  "Somewhat... but I 
assumed that you knew I was seeking revenge against her."

Nabiki shrugged.  "That's partly it... but remember, I have my *own* 
reasons for punishing the android."

"You mean for what happened at Epsilon?  I understood that she was only 
a minor player in that plan."

"That's irrelevant.  Anyone who aligns themselves with CHAOS - with 
*Jack* - is pretty much my enemy."  Her gaze turned calculating, 
watching B-ko as she wrote a few notes on a scratch pad.  "But then, 
you've probably never had to deal with someone like her.  Someone who 
defies you at every opportunity..."

B-ko lifted her head, her eyes focused on a not-too-distant memory.  
"...someone who conspires against you..."

"Someone who takes away things that are rightfully yours," Nabiki 
continued relentlessly.

"Someone willful and stupid, with no class or breeding."

"Someone who doesn't show the proper *respect*."

There was an abrupt *snap*, and B-ko's suddenly broken pencil fell to 
the floor.  "That filthy red-haired trollop!  I'll DESTROY her!"

Nabiki smiled.  "You know, Daitokuji-san," she began, "I think we 
understand each other better now.  I'd like you to have this, in 
recognition of our... understanding."

Puzzled, B-ko took the parcel and opened it... then stared.  "This... 
this is..."

"I'm sure I don't have to tell you what to do with that," Nabiki 
interrupted smoothly.

A malicious grin spread across B-ko's face.  "Indeed, no.  Thank you, 
Tendo-san - I'm sure we'll both greatly enjoy tonight's match."

"I'll be looking forward to it."  As B-ko stowed the package away and 
returned to her work with gusto, Nabiki left the room, wandering down 
the hall and humming a self-satisfied little tune.

***

"Um," ummed Daisuke, desperately shuffling papers on the announcer's 
desk, looking for the information he needed.  "Sana, what's the next 
fight?"

"Don't you know?  It's so so coool!  The Samurai Swordsmen are 
challenging Team Rocket for the Lambda title!  It got added to the card 
just before the show started.  Didn't anyone tell you?"

Daisuke fought off the sudden sinking sensation just long enough to 
admit, "No, no one told me.  I wonder why not..."

"And here come the Samurai!  Aren't they so handsome?"

The two swordsmen marched proudly down to the ring, ignoring the chorus 
of boos that followed them.  "BASK IN THE RADIANCE OF OUR GLORY, PEASANT 
MASSES!  DELIGHT IN THE CHANCE THAT NABIKI TENDO HAS OFFERED YOU.  AT 
LAST, THE LAMBDA TITLE WILL FALL INTO DESERVING HANDS!"

Kunou stepped up into the ring, prepared for battle.  The corner 
opposite him was noticeably empty.

][ Lambda Title Match
][ Team Rocket vs. Samurai Swordsmen
][ Fight?

The bell rang, and the referee started counting.

"Where is Team Rocket?!  Are they conceding their title?"  Sana's head 
whipped about wildly as she searched for the missing fighters.  "Eeek!" 
she screamed as Jessie ran out of nowhere up to the announcers' table, 
followed by Pikachu.

"Daisuke!  Help!!!  James was supposed to meet me on the stairs above 
the control booth for our entrance, but he never showed!"  Jessie was on 
the verge of tears.

"Pika-pi pipi CHU!"  The little yellow Pokemon was just as distressed.

"I didn't know you had a fight.  And I can't leave now-"

The referee had reached the count of ten, and he waved his hands to 
signal the end of the fight.  The bell rang, and Sana erupted.  "Ladies 
and gentlemen!!!  We have a new champion team in the Lambda division!  
Let's hear some applause for the Samurai Swordsmen!   WAAAIIII!!!"

Haohmaru lifted the Lambda belt above his head to show the crowd.  Kunou 
raised his booked high as well.  "It is shameful that our opponents 
should show their craven cowardice in such a public forum, but one can 
not blame them, for they are right to be scared of us!"  The crowd 
booed, and a few more adventurous souls began to throw things.  The 
Samurai marched out of the dome, heads held high.

Daisuke shook his head in disgust as Jessie cried on his shoulder.  
"Something stinks here..."

The UltraCam logo flashed on the Ultratron, then faded to show a 
nondescript corridor in the Ultradome... with James's crumpled form 
sprawled on the floor, the sort-of-menacing figure of Voiduck looming 
over him.

"[VOIOIOIOIDUCK]!"  The Pokemon did a silly little victory dance over 
its fallen foe, then subsided as Misty picked it up.

Ash moved into view of the camera and declared, "When I... we heard that 
Team Rocket was going to fight tonight, we knew that we had to do 
something to prevent them from cheating once again.  As you can see, we 
succeeded.  Let this be a warning - Team Pokemon will not rest until 
Ultra is a fair competition once again!"  Misty nodded agreement behind 
him, though she had a pensive look on her face.

The Ultratron went black, and Daisuke muttered, "And who do you suppose 
told them that Team Rocket was fighting?"  He looked over to see Sana 
literally bouncing in her seat.  "Why are you so happy?"

"New champions are always cool!  And we're about to find out who's going 
to be fighting at Reboot 2.0!  I can't wait!"

"Do you have no understanding of what just happened?  ...don't answer 
that."  Daisuke looked directly at the camera, and forced himself into 
Professional Announcer(tm) mode.  "Sana is right, though.  Hiroshi has 
an important announcement to make about the upcoming Ultra Reboot 2.0.  
Hiroshi?"

***

As Daisuke finished, the Ultratron lit up with a hokey-looking Ultra 
News logo, which quickly faded into a close-up of Hiroshi.  The cloned 
announcer was wearing a dark suit and fashionably loud tie, and sat 
behind a news desk.

"Big news, Ultra fans!  We've just received the card for Ultra Reboot 
2.0!  In just two weeks, these eight fighters will face-off for the 
coveted Ultra Internet Championship belt."

As Hiroshi named each fighter, his or her face flashed onto the screen 
behind him.  "Slated to fight are: Lilith Aensland, Wolverine, Athena 
Asamiya from the Psycho Soldiers, Mousse from the Jusenkyo Survivors, 
Sakura Kasugano, Marlo Semaj, James of Team Rocket, and Sagat of Bison's 
Busters.

"There will no doubt be some degree of controversy as Tifa Lockhart is 
not able to defend her title.  But with this lineup, I have no doubt 
that this season's Reboot will be even more exciting than the last one, 
even if the world doesn't end during the show.  be sure to preorder 
Ultra Reboot 2.0 through your cable company, satellite provider, or 
Ultra's official web site.

"And we have more exciting news from the trial of Jack Lysias.  Tarou 
has been covering the trial for us this week - how's Jack doing?"

Tarou's smirk was positively feral as the camera swung to face him.  
"Jack's had a very bad week.  His lawyers know his case is a loser, and 
I'm surprised that none of them have jumped ship.  And once Jack is put 
away, maybe we can find a way to send a few of those CHAOS losers after 
him.

"Here's a clip of the prosecutors, as they took a moment to sum up 
before resting their case:"

***

The lead prosecutor stiffly stood up and opened his mouth to speak.  One 
of his assistants dashed up the aisle behind him and whispered something 
in his ear.  The prosecutor paused, took a deep breath, and began again.  
This time his demeanor seemed much more relaxed, though his tone was 
angry and aggressive.

"We have shown you over the last two weeks how this man, Jack Lysias, 
orchestrated and acted out a terrorist operation on the night of 
UltraRage Epsilon.  There can be no doubt that he is guilty of the 
crimes of kidnapping, assault with a deadly weapon, breaking and 
entering, and criminal recklessness.  His attitude in this courtroom has 
been one of continual disrespect-"

Jack sat up in his chair, and would have objected were it not for the 
large gag stuffed in this mouth.

"And there is no doubt in my mind, that were he left on his own 
recognizance, he would commit dangerous crimes again in the future.  He 
deserves the maximum sentence, and society deserves the chance to be 
free from fear of wackos like him."

***

Tarou shook his head in mock sadness.  "For their first witness, the 
defense tried a truly incomprehensible tactic."

***

"The defense calls Mr. Duck to the stand!"

"Objection!  This witness is not even alive!"

"Squeak!"  Mr. Duck squeaked angrily.

***

"This created a minor crisis - the defense refused to let the trial 
continue without what they describe as 'critical testimony from a 
crucial witness'.  Both the prosecution and defense are going to produce 
testimony on the validity of Mr. Duck's status as a living being capable 
of testifying in the court.  Jack's defense team has called Washuu to 
testify on Mr. Duck's behalf, while the prosecution has reportedly 
contacted a rubber duck manufacturer."

Hiroshi tried to appear thoughtful for the camera.  "So how long as the 
trial expected to take?"

"No one can say for sure.  The strategies that Jack's lawyers have 
undertaken are sure to delay the trial for at least a week or two, but 
it's hard to tell what they expect to gain from it all.  It certainly 
has pissed off the prosecutors and judge."

"And it's a sure thing at this point?"

"That's what our legal experts are telling us.  I spoke with a couple of 
Ultra's corporate attorneys yesterday afternoon, and they were of the 
opinion-"

The close-up of Tarou was cut off by a sudden burst of static, and 
replaced a moment later by an extreme close-up of controversial Jack.  
His red hair glinted under bright camera lighting, spikier and more 
threatening than ever before.  "You really shouldn't believe everything 
you're told, especially when it comes from the Beekster's cronies.  What 
they don't know is that my lawyers have been showing the prosecutors 
exactly what shenanigans Nabiki has been up to since she acquired Ultra.

"I really couldn't believe it.  None of those nice men who were running 
my trial had ever watched Ultra!  And they were shocked, just shocked to 
find out just what sort of an organization she was running.  Corporate 
child abuse!  Rigging sporting events for profit!  Even consorting with 
known criminal masterminds!  I may have been controversial, but that was 
good clean fun compared to her morass of deceit and fear mongering.

"Well, that's all about to change.  I have been allowed to plead guilty 
to one charge of felony vandalism... with most of the sentence 
suspended.  In return, I will help the prosecutor's office in their new 
investigation of Miss Nabiki Tendo.  I hear that the first thing on 
their agenda is figuring out why she sold all the Ultra tickets for two 
weeks ago to Bison and Shadowlaw.  She's going to have a lot of tough 
questions to answer, and I will be around to enjoy every minute of it...

"At least once I get out of jail.  The sentence for vandalism ended 
yesterday, but unfortunately there is still a little matter of contempt 
of court charges.  The lawyers say that there still trying to figure out 
what my total in fines and jail time comes to, but I'll probably have to 
stay here for at least the next few weeks."

"Time to go, Lysias!"  The camera panned back as a uniformed prison 
guard pulled Jack away by one arm.

"It's your turn next, Nabiki!  Don't think for a moment that you'll get 
off a slightly as I did!  And the rest of you: don't give up the fight!  
Ultra will be free again someday!"

The Ultratron went blank as the pirate feed dropped out.  For a moment, 
the dome was silent.  Then scattered cheers broke out and Daisuke 
decided to seize the moment.  "You hear that, folks?  Jack is coming 
back to Ultra!"  As the crowd erupted in frenzied elation, a quick 
thinking technician in the control booth cut to a commercial.

***

(A skydiving instructor looks out the door of an airplane, then glances 
back at his student, a certain pink warrior chugging down a Sprite)

Instructor:  Ready Dan?  Just follow my lead!

Voice-Over:  What happens when you drink Sprite?  Can it give you great 
strength?  Can it make you a better skydiver?  Can it make you fly?

Dan:  Ha!  I need no parachute!  I am the mighty DAN!  OOSHA!! (With 
that, he leaps out, momentarily forgetting he can fly....)

VO:  No, but it'll still quench your thirst...

Dan:  (Panicking)  OOOOOYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAJ*BOOM*

VO:  Even if you're a legend in your own mind.

Dan:  (Weakly with wavering manly forearm)  Jiiiii.......

Instructor:  (Chugging down a Sprite as he glides to a perfect landing)  
Hang in there, Dan.  You'll get it soon....

VO:  Image is Nothing.  Obey Your Thirst.  Sprite.

***

The traditional portal opened, and two figures stepped through, one over 
twice the height of the other.  Krillin looked around, noting the 
fighting terrain - some set of ruins or other, with about equal amounts 
of open space and heavy cover.  Nothing terribly exciting.

He glanced upwards.  "You ready?"

"Hai!"  The android hopped eagerly from one foot to the other.  "Nuku 
Nuku is ready to play!"

"...right."

A sudden self-confident laugh reverberated across the ruins.  "Indeed?  
I hope, then, that you're also ready to be thoroughly humiliated!"

As the last echoes died away, they were replaced by the thunder of a 
mighty engine roaring to life.  A moment later, B-ko and her latest 
battle-mecha rolled into view...

...which, at first glance, wasn't anything much.  It was a truck, an 
eighteen-wheeler to be precise, with a cherry-red cab and a silver 
trailer.  B-ko herself was behind the wheel of the cab, clad in her 
skimpy yet apparently protective BioSuit.  Without further ado, the rig 
rolled closer to Krillin and Nuku Nuku; the trailer disengaged halfway 
there, leaving the cab to coast to a stop in front of them.

And then, with a series of metallic grinding noises, the vehicle changed 
shape.  Armored plates split apart, segments twisted and locked into 
place, and the entire thing seemed to grow in size until a giant 
humanoid robot loomed over the android and the noseless monk, easily 
forty feet tall.

Another chortle of laughter emerged from the mecha's external speakers.  
"You will pay for injuring my darling Sephiroth, you horrible creature, 
and this will be the instrument of your destruction!  Prepare to face 
the full fury of my latest original creation, the Sakamura Beta-Five-
Seven!"

After a moment's pause, Nuku Nuku raised a hesitant finger.  "Ano..."

"I see you've been awed into silence," B-ko said smugly.  "And well you 
should be!  The world has never imagined such a power as the Sakamura.  
You will be powerless before its titanium-reinforced plating, the 
colossal strength of its fusion-powered servos, its-"

"Ano... that's Optimus Prime."

There was a pause, then: "...what?"

"It's Optimus Prime.  From that American cartoon.  Papa-san has a lot of 
the tapes in his research collection."

"It... it's the Sakamura Beta-Five-Seven."

"It's Optimus," Nuku Nuku insisted.  "Look, it's got the same colors and 
everything.  It's even got that funny symbol on the front, see?"

B-ko's voice was, by now, weak with denial.  "No, that's... that's the 
new Daitokuji Corporation insignia.  We started using it weeks ago."

"Well, if you say so, but it *looks* like-"

"Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!"  B-ko glared down at her opponent, then 
turned her attention to Krillin.  "I'll be right back."

"Uh, sure.  Whatever you say."

The Sakamura stomped off, trailing angry mutters with every step, and 
concealed itself behind a small pyramid.  As Krillin and Nuku Nuku 
waited, they could hear the canopy of the mecha open, shortly followed 
by an odd rattling sound.  The muttering continued unabated, and was 
soon joined by the distinctive hiss of a spray can.

A few minutes later, B-ko appeared again, still behind the controls of a 
giant robot.  Her 'new' mecha looked almost exactly the same as the 
previous one, except that it had been crudely and hastily painted green.  
Blotches of red and white were still visible under the partial paint 
job, though the insignia was completely covered.

The mecha halted in the middle of the ruins' courtyard, posing 
dramatically.  "Nuku Nuku," B-ko's voice rang out, "be thankful that 
your demise was even slightly delayed... but now, you are surely doomed 
as you face the Sakamura Beta-Five-Se... I mean, Eight!"

Krillin's expression was composed of equal parts disbelief and 
bewilderment.  "You gotta be kidding me.  That is just completely-"

"Amazing!"  The android's eyes were wide with astonishment.  "How did 
you build a whole new robot so fast?!"  Krillin fell over.

Another confident laugh echoed across the ruins.  "Foolish catgirl!  You 
should never underestimate the heir to the Daitokuji empire!"

The referee stood back up, rubbing his bald head in an effort to ward 
off a growing headache.  "...Let's just start this thing before it gets 
any worse," he decided.

][ Omega match: 
][ Nuku Nuku vs. B-Ko Daitokuji
][ Fight!

B-Ko wasted no time.  "Plasma cannon online!"  The Sakamura reached out 
one crudely painted arm, and a huge rifle-like weapon seemed to appear 
from nowhere, drawn from the subspace pocket that contained it.  It 
opened fire, sending a barrage of fiery green bursts toward the 
schoolgirl android.  Nuku Nuku quickly dodged away, rolling behind an 
ancient statue - Krillin was less agile and received the brunt of the 
attack, though came out of it with little more than singed clothing.

The two fighters failed to notice this as their battle continued.  "Come 
out and play, android!"  B-ko shouted, and sent another round of plasma 
bursts toward the statue.  The blast struck home, though was less than 
effective; while it did destroy the statue, it also created a large 
cloud of dust, concealing her opponent until she leapt out and sprinted 
behind a collection of crumbling walls.  A third barrage failed to flush 
out the catgirl, and B-ko tightened her grip on her controls.

"So... hide and seek, is it?"  The mecha designer grinned madly.  "I'm 
sorry, but I don't indulge in such games.  Let's clear the playing 
field, shall we?  Micro-MIRV launchers engaged!"

A pair of missile-launching arrays rose from the Sakamura's frame, one 
on each shoulder, and almost immediately released their full payload.  
As the miniature rockets sped toward their target, the warhead of each 
one split into five smaller missiles, which wobbled slightly before 
continuing toward their destination.

Two seconds later, the ancient buildings were hit by approximately three 
hundred small but intense explosions, reducing them to little more than 
rubble and dust.

B-ko didn't wait for the dust cloud to clear, however.  She watched the 
Sakamura's motion detector alertly; when it blipped, she immediately 
launched another barrage of plasma bolts.  The green flames roared 
through the air, cutting through the dust and coming within an inch of 
Nuku Nuku.

Now revealed, the android abandoned her attempt to sneak up on her 
opponent, and instead charged full tilt toward the Sakamura.  B-ko 
filled the air with high-energy projectiles, but all of them failed to 
connect with the dodging, leaping catgirl.  As the distance between the 
fighters closed rapidly, the giant robot returned its weapon to subspace 
and reached out, ready to crush its foe in its bare metallic hands.

It wasn't to be, however.  Once within striking distance, Nuku Nuku 
proceeded to hammer the Sakamura with a series of unscientific but 
powerful punches.  The robot staggered back under her assault, dents 
appearing in its armored hull as the catgirl veritably danced around it, 
pounding it repeatedly and laughing with innocent glee.

For her part, B-ko was having less of a good time.  She'd outfitted the 
Sakamura with a dozen different weapons, each capable of reducing the 
catgirl to her component atoms, but with a certain lack of foresight 
she'd neglected to include any that could be used at close range.  This 
point was driven home when, with a particularly fierce punch, Nuku Nuku 
drove her fist through the Sakamura's chest plate... and when it stopped 
moving, the android's small but potent fist was mere inches from B-ko's 
face.

Almost immediately after Nuku Nuku extracted her arm, a high, insistent 
siren began to wail within the Sakamura.  B-ko's eyes suddenly went 
wide, and she desperately scanned the controls.  "Wha... what is..."  A 
flashing red light caught her attention, and the young inventor paled.  
"The... the plasma containment unit is disabled!  No!"

Desperately, she activated the Sakamura's escape hatch, leaping out and 
leaving Nuku Nuku behind to cheerfully smash her mecha.  She hadn't gone 
more than a few yards, however, when a concussive blast struck her 
between the shoulder blades, lifting her up and throwing her across the 
courtyard.  The Sakamura had exploded, creating a massive pillar of fire 
that lit up the ruins.

As the light began to fade, B-ko lifted herself painfully onto one elbow 
and surveyed the rising cloud of smoke.  Finally, after a long moment, 
she allowed herself a smile.  "She... she maybe have destroyed... the 
Sakamura," she managed, sitting up, "but now she has most certainly been 
destroyed!"  The mecha designer clasped her hands together, and a single 
grateful tear welled in her eye.  "Sephiroth-sama, my darling, you have 
been avenged!  Now our love can truly bloom without fear of  
interruption.  Our passion will blaze through the annals of history!  
We... we..."

Her sentence trailed off even as the final traces of plasma dispersed 
into the atmosphere, leaving behind a rather surprised android.  With 
metal fragments strewn around her feet, Nuku Nuku blinked once or twice, 
her fighting outfit for the day (jeans and a rather cheerful CHAOS T-
shirt) tattered but more-or-less intact.  For a moment, she seemed
disappointed at the sudden lack of a playmate... then she beamed happily 
and turned toward a rather impressed Krillin, raising her arms 
triumphantly.  "Yahoo!  Nuku Nuku won again!  Time to go home and take a 
nap."

B-ko stood up, her teeth grinding together in frustration.  "Damn you... 
why won't you just DIE like a good little girl?!"

Nuku Nuku stopped in mid-skip, and turned around slowly.  "B-ko-san?"

Composing herself, B-ko haughtily flipped her hair back.  "Hmph!  You've 
done well, Nuku Nuku.  But you see, that was just the first round.  I 
wanted to avoid this, but since you've proven to be so stubborn, you 
have forced my hand.  You will most assuredly regret your juvenile and 
inconsiderate actions!"

"Nuku Nuku doesn't understand, but if you still want to fight, then I'm 
ready, too!"

B-ko raised a scolding finger, reaching into a pouch at her waist with 
the other hand.  "Not so fast, you brainless catgirl!  I have something 
you need to see first, something I think you'll recognize."

The android tilted her head slightly.  "Eh?"

With a flourish, B-ko produced a small, irregular object, holding it out 
toward Nuku Nuku with a malicious smile.  The mere sight of the thing 
was enough to make the android gasp and take an uncertain step 
backwards.  "You... what are you doing with-?!"

B-ko laughed.  "What's wrong, Nuku Nuku-chan?  Why don't you attack me?"

"That's not fair!  B-ko-san, you're mean!"

(Back in the Ultradome, the audience was filled with confused murmurs, 
and Daisuke was rubbing his forehead.  "I don't believe this...")

With a smirk, B-ko lifted one arm and pointed her wrist at the object 
she held.  "Fairness is for the weak!  And I suggest you tread 
carefully," she added, bringing her Akagiyama Missile launchers online 
with an audible hum, "or the duck, as they say, 'gets it'."

Nuku Nuku was near to tears.  "Mister Duck-san!" she shouted.  "Don't 
worry - I'll save you!"  The rubber toy in B-ko's grasp was speechless, 
paralyzed by fear (or maybe just unable to talk because it was, well, a 
rubber toy).

"Oh, will you, now?"  B-ko produced another item from the pouch, this 
one a small circular device.  "That may be a bit difficult, you know."  
She pressed the device onto the top of her hostage's head, where it 
immediately adhered and began to blink rhythmically.

A sudden metallic sound behind her made Nuku Nuku turn, only to see the 
Sakamura's detached trailer split open and unfold into what could only 
be described as a mobile weapons platform.  Guns and missiles of every 
description bristled from the platform... and after a moment's 
uncertainty, they all swiveled and focused on the duck in B-ko's grasp.

As Nuku Nuku gasped, making an unusually quick (for her) connection, B-
ko laughed again.  "Nuku Nuku-chan!  I realize that you're a cat, and 
not a dog.  Nevertheless..."  She pulled her arm back, duck in hand, 
then snapped it forward in a quick throwing motion.  "...FETCH!"

It was an impressive throw, considering that the projectile was a hollow 
rubber object, and covered quite a considerable distance.  As Nuku Nuku 
bounded after it, B-ko pointed toward her.  "Salvo One!  FIRE!"

The weapons platform erupted, launching several dozen missiles and 
uncountable energy blasts.  Each one came within a hair's breadth of the 
spinning, tumbling duck, and the occasional explosion threw it forward 
on its journey.  Nuku Nuku, however, wasn't quite as lucky, often ending 
up on the receiving end of the attacks as she tried to catch up with the 
toy.

Finally, dodging through a fiery burst of shrapnel, she put on an extra 
burst of speed and caught her target - this left her open for the 
platform's final shot, sending her sprawling into a pile of rubble.  
Battered and gently smoldering, the android picked herself up painfully 
but triumphantly.  "I got you!  You're safe now."

*Sqwark!*

She blinked twice.  "Eh?!"  She peered down at the rubber bath toy; now 
that she had a closer look, she realized that it wasn't quite the same 
shade of yellow, and it wasn't as comfortably worn from untold hours of 
shoulder sitting as she would have expected.  "You're not Mister Duck-
san!"

B-ko laughed, loud and long.  "That's right, Nuku Nuku-chan - what 
you're holding is, in fact, a *decoy*!"

"What?!"

The young inventor raised her arm with a smirk.  "Salvo Two!  FIRE!"

Unable to get up in time to escape from the hail of weapons fire, Nuku 
Nuku quickly disappeared from view, pummeled by the barrage of missiles 
and bullets and other esoteric projectiles.

Eventually the salvo ceased, and Nuku Nuku could be seen, lying at the 
bottom of a smoking crater.  Krillin began the obligatory ten-count, but 
it was clear that the android wouldn't be getting up any time soon - he 
finished the count, then floated over to the self-satisfied young woman 
nearby and raised her hand.  "The winner by a knock-out... B-ko!"

(In the Dome, Daisuke sighed.  "Well, a sneaky but legal move by B-ko 
has given her a-")

"Salvo Three!  FIRE!"

("What?!")

As Krillin watched in disbelief, the platform let loose another barrage 
of attacks, which slammed into Nuku Nuku's motionless form with unerring 
accuracy.  B-ko laughed again, the gleam of madness in her eye.  "*This* 
is what happens to those who would dare hurt my Sephiroth!  Salvo Four!  
FIRE!"

No sooner had the last shot been fired from the platform than a new 
series were issued forth... and B-ko didn't stop there.  At her command, 
two more salvos were launched, tossing the catgirl's body to and fro 
like a rag doll.

"Yes!" B-ko crowed.  "Destroy her!  Leave nothing left!  Salvo Seven!  
FI-"

A huge explosion sounded behind her, and she whirled about just in time 
to see a second energy disc slice into the platform.  This was enough to 
finish what the first one started, and the platform disintegrated as its 
stockpile of missiles exploded in one titanic chain reaction.

Krillin glared at B-ko, a sphere of energy forming in his hand.  "That's 
ENOUGH," he growled.  "You've won.  Fine.  But if you do one more thing 
to her... I'm gonna make you wish you hadn't."

She narrowed her eyes, then shrugged carelessly.  "Very well, then.  I 
suppose justice has been served."  She sauntered away, and was soon 
whisked away by a dimensional portal.

***

Athena blazed down a corridor, idly blasted a security camera, and then 
forced her power level down to hide as a band of Shadowlaw thugs ran by.  
The bad news was that Shadowlaw HQ was on crisis footing.  Alert sirens 
blared a steady alarm, interrupted only by an occasional panicked 
intercom announcement.  The good news was that Athena wasn't responsible 
for that state of affairs - as near as she could tell, no one had seen 
her enter the base (though the big hole she had blasted through the 
ceiling must have been noticed pretty quickly).

A distant explosion shook the floor, but Athena barely noticed it.  She 
wrenched open a nearby security elevator and stepped into the shaft, 
letting gravity take her down fifteen stories to the bottom level of the 
base.  As she approached the bottom, she tried to slow her descent with 
her enhanced power but even as she reached for the required energy she 
could feel her body involuntarily shifting in preparation to roll 
through the landing.  The dissonance between what she wanted and what 
she was actually doing resulted in nothing at all being done... and she 
slammed into the concrete floor, creating a crater.

When she woke up, she found herself standing over the assorted mangled, 
unconscious, and/or dead bodies of a Shadowlaw guard troop.  She was 
panting heavily and her muscles ached, but she could feel strength 
returning and even increasing as she became more alert.

A door in front of her was marked "Psycho Experimentation Lab B/1" and 
covered with just about every warning symbol Athena had ever seen.  
Biohazard signs battled with radioactivity symbols, hardhat and goggle 
requirements were squeezed between "No Smoking" signs and Spice Girls 
posters.  Athena blithely strode through the door into the workspace 
beyond.

Not too long ago, this room had been Bison's personal playground.  Not 
any longer.  Smoke rose form crushed control consoles, and disturbingly 
thick liquids fountained from recycling units built into smashed 
lifeform containment units.  Something squelched underfoot as she moved 
further into the room.  Athena glanced down, and went pale as she 
realized that she was striding through human entrails.

The center of the room was a sphere of destruction five meters in 
radius.  She thought there was some sort of machinery smashed into the 
bottom of the crater, but there was no way to tell for sure and no 
reason to really care.  Looking up, she saw that the explosion had 
trashed the rooms above the laboratory as well.  There was a hole in the 
far wall, slightly larger than man-sized.  As she concentrated, she 
could feel Psycho Power being used in the hole's general direction, 
though it had to be hundreds of meters away.  Athena took only a moment 
to decide:  she sprinted through the hole and prayed that it was MewTwo 
and not Bison at the far end of this trail.

A battered camera platform bearing the Ultra logo limped after her, 
occasionally correcting its course to align its antennas for a burst 
transmission to a commercial satellite thousands of miles overhead.

***

"What do you think did that?"

"Probably MewTwo.  Get the boss on the phone - we might be able to get 
some usable footage out of this yet tonight."

***

Washuu walked into the family room in a bad mood, but she smiled as she 
saw Gally, Mary, and Asuka all huddled together on the couch watching 
Ultra.

Gally looked up from the television and nodded a hello.  "Shh.  I think 
Mary's asleep.  How's Nuku Nuku?"

"B-ko did a number on her, but she's plenty tough.  I expect she'll be 
on her feet later today."  Washuu kneeled down beside Asuka, and asked, 
"How are you doing?"

Asuka smiled sadly, and just shook her head.  Gally observed, "She was 
pretty excited earlier during Nuku Nuku's fight, but I think she's about 
to doze off too."

"I wasn't so sure she should watch Ultra so soon... but maybe it's good 
to give her something she can recognize from happier times.  Is there 
room left on the couch?"

"I think so, if you can get Asuka to scoot over a little I won't have to 
disturb Mary."

***

"And now, the main event!  Bean Bandit challenges Marlo Semaj for the 
Hardcore belt!  WAAAIII!  Ano, who do you think will win, Daisuke?"

Daisuke snorted in disgust.  "Well, let's see.  Marlo is openly allied 
with Nabiki, so I imagine that he'll probably win."

"I don't understand!  What does that have to do with the fight?"

"Are you really that blind?  Anyway, even without that advantage, I 
suspect Marlo is the better fighter - certainly he's the better martial 
artist.  If Bean wants to win, he's going to have to surprise Marlo 
somehow."

"We'll find out the answer soon, since they're both about to enter the 
Ultradome!"

Bean stepped between the ropes, waving to the (mostly) cheering crowd.  
He straightened his jacket and popped his huge knuckles with a sound 
like that of automatic weapons fire.  He took a moment to look for Tifa.  
She was nowhere to be seen, so Bean shrugged his shoulders and put on a 
tough-guy look as Marlo entered the Ultradome.

The Furnityre Savior took his time coming down the entrance ramp, 
pausing on occasion to sign a folding chair or kitchen table offered by 
one of his fans.  The mix of boos and cheers rose in intensity as he 
came ringside and displayed his Hardcore belt proudly overhead.  He 
tossed it to a waiting flunkie, then vaulted into the ring.  "You wanted 
me:  here I am," he taunted the Bandit.  "Let's see if you take as good 
as you can give!"

Bean's face twisted into an amused sneer.  "You have no clue at all what 
you're getting into, do you?"

][ Hardcore Title match
][ Bean Bandit vs. Marlo Semaj
][ Fight!

As the bell rang, Bean charged forward to meet his opponent.  Marlo 
whipped out an ottoman to block the Bandit's first, massive punch.  To 
his surprise, Bean's fist went straight through the overgrown footstool 
and tagged him in the stomach.  Bean stepped back and shook the antique 
off of his arm while Marlo struggled to recover his breath.

"And Bean starts the match by using his one solid advantage - he's 
probably the strongest fighter in Ultra, excepting Omega."

By the time Bean stepped forward to attack again, Marlo was ready.  As 
the Bandit wound up for another punch, the Furnityre Savior simply 
dropped a refrigerator on him.  Marlo turned away, satisfied with 
himself.  "Feh.  No skill at all."

"Who needs skill?" grunted Bean.  Marlo spun back around to face his 
unsquashed opponent.  Bean was down on one knee, but had managed to 
catch the appliance over his head with both hands.

"Wai!" waied Sana.  "Look at those muscles!  Daisuke, can you catch 
heavy appliances like that?"

Daisuke muttered something about dropping refrigerators that the 
microphone didn't quite catch.

Marlo eeped! and jumped aside as Bean tossed the refrigerator back at 
him.  Well, if brute force wasn't going to do the trick, Marlo would 
have to do it the old fashioned way - he knew that he was faster than 
this muscle-bound brute in front of him.  Pulling out the old standard - 
a metal folding chair - he went to work.

Bean raised his arms to try to ward off Marlo's onslaught.  Whack!  
Clang!  Crunk!  The continuous rain of blows mostly were absorbed by 
Bean's armored jacket, but he could fell Marlo setting him up for one 
big blow...

The chair swung up in a perfect uppercut, and Bean went flying over the 
ropes.  Marlo followed through, golf-style, and grinned as he saw his 
opponent's head bounce off the metal rail separating the crowd from the 
ring area.

"And Marlo gets all Tiger Woods on Bean's ass!"  Sana stood up and 
cheered.  "Can he make the tap-in for the win?"

Bean used the rail to pull himself to his feet.  He took one unsteady 
step before Marlo slid in front of him, folding chair at the ready.

Marlo sprung into action once again, and it looked for a moment like 
Bean could not defend himself.  Then he half-stumbled, half-spun inside 
Marlo's guard and got a one-handed grip just above the teenager's left 
elbow.  He hauled Marlo off his feet, ignoring the frantic, but 
ineffective kicks and punches raining on his head and torso.  Bean took 
a moment to center himself, then backhanded Marlo with as much force as 
he could find.

Marlo dimly perceived himself flying far above the audience's heads.  He 
blacked out momentarily, but was rudely jerked back to consciousness 
when he landed on a drink vendor and cold, sticky fluids sprayed 
everywhere.

"I don't think I've *ever* seen someone hit that hard," commented 
Daisuke, eyes wide.  "I can't believe Marlo's getting back up!"

As Marlo struggled to his feet, Bean stood panting, trying to regain his 
normally cool composure.  Marlo finally managed to stand up, but a wave 
of dizziness overwhelmed him.  He fell to his knees and puked up his 
last two meals as Bean started lumbering in his direction.

Marlo finally managed to really stand just in time to take Bean's boot 
right in his stomach.  He stumbled back, and reached for a piece of 
furniture to defend himself with.  He could feel the Lazy Boy he wanted 
and tried to bring it out of FurnitureSpace... and blinked in surprise 
as nothing happened.  He tried for a folding chair to block Bean's 
incoming fist... and was knocked flat, thin air not being an effective 
blocking instrument.

Bean reached down to pick up the fallen Furnityre Savior, but Marlo 
rolled away, got to his feet, and promptly ran away down the service 
ramp.  Bean shrugged, and jogged after him.

***

"The Hardcore title has left the building!" enthused Sana.  "But that's 
okay, since those nifty UltraCams will let us keep an eye on the 
action!"

"One should be reaching the scene of the fight right about... now."  
Daisuke pointed to the Ultratron.

***

Marlo tried desperately to access his furniture as he made his way 
through the service corridors.  He could tell it was right _there_, 
literally in his hands, but whenever he tried to pull it into realspace 
it would evaporate and a wave of nausea would wash over him.  He could 
hear Bean lumbering along behind him and was pleased to know that even 
when hurt he could outpace his opponent.

Left at one corridor, right at the next, through a random fire exit...  
and Marlo found himself in the underground section of the Ultradome's 
parking garage.  He shrugged his shoulders and started upwards.

By the time he reached the first sub-basement Marlo was beginning to 
feel halfway normal.  He tried brandishing a loveseat, and grinned 
viciously as the overstuffed fuzzy purple chair materialized in his 
hands.  He tossed it aside and looked for Bean... and realized that it 
had been a minute since he had heard the Bandit behind him.

"It's no use hiding, Bean!  We both know who the champion here is!"  
Marlo retraced his steps down into the depths of the garage.  He 
cautiously scanned left and right, making sure not to cede the advantage 
of surprise.  In the distance he heard tires squeal... but dismissed it 
as random street noise.

Bean knew he probably could have found a better car if he had looked a 
moment longer, but the souped-up Civic was complete with keys left in 
the ignition and he didn't want to give Marlo any more time than he had 
to.  He revved the engine and slid the compact car around the corner.  
Directly ahead, facing the wrong way, was Marlo.

Marlo spun just in time to see the small blue two-door accelerating 
straight for him.  He leapt straight up, and bounced off of the 
windshield and over the car.  He landed on his butt and dazedly watched 
as Bean came to a spinning stop and began to line up for another attack.

This time, Marlo was able to roll out of the way.  Bean was prepared for 
this, though, and had brought the car to a screeching halt just beyond 
Marlo.  He engaged the reverse gear, and caught Marlo by surprise.  The 
Furnityre Savior twisted away, but his left hand smacked against the 
rear bumper and he could feel several fingers dislocate.  Bean continued 
backwards down the ramp a ways, creating distance for his next run.

Marlo moved to the center of the drive, cradling his left hand.  His 
expression was one of pain and intense concentration as he set himself 
for Bean's next attack.

Bean gunned the engine and smoked his tires as he tried once more to run 
down his opponent.  Marlo held his ground, and at the last moment heaved 
a concrete picnic table in front of him.  Bean slammed on the brakes, 
but it was too late - he smashed into the table, totaling the car.  He 
was thrown into the air bag, and sat stunned in the silence that follows 
every wreck.

Marlo wasn't doing much better - the picnic table weighed as much as the 
Civic, but the car had a lot of speed and the table wasn't bolted down.  
The concrete table slammed into the teenager at ten or fifteen 
kilometers per hour, and Marlo went down hard.

Bean staggered out of the car as Marlo got to his feet.  The Bandit was 
shaking his head, trying to clear his ringing ears.  Marlo was obviously 
hurt - his face was bloody and bruised, and his left arm hung limply at 
his side - but he screamed wordlessly in defiance and raised a sofa over 
his head in preparation for Bean's inevitable attack.

Bean lumbered forward, intent on finishing the fight.  He moved in to 
punch as Marlo tried to heave his sofa at him and -

"FIRE2!"

The sofa exploded in a ball of flame.  Bean was thrown back a couple of 
meters, but Marlo, already braced for a blow, managed to keep his feet.  
Both turned to face up the ramp, where Tifa stood, glowing with rage and 
power.

Marlo charged Tifa, pulling out another folding chair as he ran.  The 
chair froze and shattered as she hit it with an Ice spell, then she 
moved to meet his attack with an impressive limit break combo.

When the dust settled, Tifa stood over Marlo's prone form, a satisfied 
look on her face.  "Take that, Beekster.  Shut me out of Reboot, will 
you?"  Her mood was spoiled, though, by the slow, sarcastic clapping 
that echoed from a far corner of the garage.

"Congratulations," said Nabiki, as she emerged from behind a minivan.  
Tarou and Dark Schnieder flanked her as she walked towards the fighters.  
"Your boyfriend was winning, and you interfered.  Guess who gets to keep 
the Hardcore belt?"

Tifa nearly Lightning2'd Nabiki, but Bean stopped her just in time.  
"Don't, Teef.  Not with _them_ here."  

Tifa swallowed her pride, but before stalking away she said, "I hope you 
know you've made an enemy today, boss lady.  Don't think for a moment 
that you won't regret this."  Bean limped after her, anger and 
disappointment evident in his every move.

***

"What did I tell you?  With Nabs on his side, how could Marlo lose?"

"I guess..."  Sana pouted for a moment.  "That doesn't really seem fair, 
though!"

Daisuke casually pounded his head on the desk several times.

"So that it for Ultra tonight, folks!  We'll see you next week, and 
don't forget-"

"Hold on a second, Sana."  Daisuke pressed his hand against the earpiece 
and concentrated for a moment.  "I've just gotten word that we may have 
one more fight tonight!  Remember last week, when Rei beat MewTwo, and 
captured him with a pokeball?  Well, Athena Asamiya has gone to 
Shadowlaw Headquarters in an attempt to rescue the Pokemon!  We've had 
an UltraCam following her the whole time, and it appears that she has 
just found MewTwo... in the middle of another battle with EVA-00!

"The fight is unsanctioned, since we can't get a referee there in time, 
but we can show you what's happening.  This is live, folks!"

***

][ Unofficial Omega brawl
][ Fight!

EVA-00 chased MewTwo across the floor of a huge hangar bay.  The psychic 
Pokemon occasionally would turn and blast the Evangelion, but the 
psychic bolts merely spanged off the AT-field.  Athena kept pace with 
them as they crossed the kilometer-long enclosed space, but both 
combatants ignored her presence.

The intercom system crackled to life.  "Surrender now, or die, MewTwo!"  
It was Bison, and he sounded angry.

*Surrender and submit to your domination?  I think not.*  MewTwo's 
psychic reply was powerful, but weary.  *And I very much doubt those are 
my only choices.*

"Very well.  Rei, the being you are chasing is an Angel!  It must be 
destroyed.  Do you understand?"

"yes, sir."  The Evangelion picked up its pace, gaining a few steps on 
the fleeing Pokemon.  MewTwo ducked under a progressive knife slash, and 
zipped back between EVA-00's legs.

As the Evangelion skidded to a halt, MewTwo sized up the situation.  A 
blindingly bright ball of light grew between its paws, then flew up at 
the ceiling.  Before the debris even reached the floor, MewTwo had 
zipped up through its improvised escape route.  EVA-00 crouched and 
leapt up after it.  The Evangelion was able to grab the edge of the hole 
and pull itself through.

Athena concentrated for a moment, then followed with a flare of purple 
ki.  The Ultra camera floated up behind her, unable to keep pace.

When the camera finally emerged from the hole, it found itself a hundred 
meters behind EVA-00 and MewTwo on a flat, grassy plain.  There was a 
small village in the far distance, and the sun was setting.  The 
fighters cast long shadows which seemed to roil and waver as the wind 
blew the long grass about.

MewTwo tried to fly away, but the Evangelion was too fast for it.  
Realizing this, the Pokemon turned to fight.  It energized a spherical 
shield, and cast down the metaphorical gauntlet.  *Just because you are 
a victim of Bison's manipulations does not mean I will go easy on you 
this time.*

Rei refused to rise to that.  "die," she merely said, and reached out to 
grab the Pokemon.

MewTwo did not dodge.  Rather, it flew inside Rei's swing to land on the 
EVA's shoulder.  Angry purple hexagons hissed and spit as the AT-field 
rubbed against MewTwo's psychic barrier.  *After you trapped me I had 
some time to ponder the question of this marvelous shield, girl.  I 
think I found the answer.*  MewTwo's right paw grew a halo of black 
energy, and it plunged it straight into the center of an AT-field 
hexagon.  *What do you think?*

The entire AT-field flashed for a moment, and then disappeared with a 
deafening crack.  Rei screamed in agony from the psychic whiplash.  The 
Evangelion's arms flailed about wildly for a moment as the giant mecha 
lurched backwards.  After a moment it regained its balance, and looked 
about wildly for its tormentor.

MewTwo was still airborne, but its barrier was down and its limbs hung 
loosely.  Rei stepped up to the Pokemon and grabbed it with one giant 
hand.  She squeezed, hard, then threw MewTwo to the ground.  It bounced 
once, skidded a few meters, and did not get back up.

EVA-00 prepared to stomp on the fallen Pokemon.  The giant foot started 
to come down... and the Evangelion was blown off its feet by a huge 
blast from Athena.  EVA-00 landed on its back, but quickly climbed to 
its feet and searched for its new opponent.

Athena stood her ground and prepared another attack.  She gathered her 
power and screamed as the ball of energy sped towards the EVA.  Rei 
braced herself against the attack, and when it hit it bounced off the 
reformed AT-field and dug a long trench in the field.

EVA-00, secure behind its shield, walked right up to Athena and booted 
her across the field.  She came down, hard, almost half a kilometer 
away.

Satisfied that there were no threats left, Rei turned her attention back 
to MewTwo.  Once more, she prepared to grind the unmoving Pokemon into a 
pulp.  This time, she halted at the sound of a familiar voice.  "I can't 
let you do that, Rei."  It was Shinji, in EVA form.  "My father is dead.  
The man who you obey now is an imposter, and the creature you're trying 
to kill is no Angel."

"i think it is... and i know you are."  EVA-00's foot began its descent 
once more... and Shinji tackled his one-time ally.  The two EVA's rolled 
down a slight incline, and came to rest in a heap at the bottom of the 
slope.  Shinji was on top of the pile, and he moved to try to pin EVA-00 
to the ground.  Rei was not going to let him do that:  she headbutted 
Shinji off of her.

The two Evangelions stood up.  "Give it up, Rei," warned Shinji.  "You 
know that EVA-01 was always more powerful.  I don't want to hurt you."

"i have learned some new tricks.  you are the one who will die.  psycho 
crusher!"  EVA-00 flew forward in a spiraling nimbus of fierce purple 
energy.  Shinji's AT-field collapsed as Rei's attack struck home, and he 
blacked out as the Psycho power unleashed its fury on his Evangelion 
body.

Rei pulled out her progressive knife once more and leaned over for the 
coup de grace.  A ball of Psycho power bouncing off her AT field drew 
her attention, and she turned around to see Athena floating in mid air, 
once again ready to do battle.  "didn't I already kill your ass, little 
girl?"

...except something was wrong with this picture.  It was indeed Athena 
Asamiya's _body_ but the posture it showed was not Athena's linear, 
defensive stance.  Rather, it was wide open, ready for spectacular, 
flashy moves.  The expression on the girl's face was founded on a 
frighteningly huge grin, rather than the pinched, worried smile Athena 
had adopted through these last few stressful months.  And when she 
spoke, her voice had an unexpectedly deep, rough timbre.  "Who are you 
calling a girl?!?"

"whatever.  psycho-"

"Eeeeaaaaarrrrgh!  Die!  Die!  DIIIE!"  In a flash of crimson flame, 
Asuka's twisted, scabrous Evangelion form fell from the sky and landed 
on EVA-00.  Their AT fields fought one another for a second, then Rei's 
collapsed once more as the demonic energy took advantage of Psycho 
power's corruptible nature.  Asuka, despite being smaller than EVA-00, 
managed to grab it around the chest in a titanic bear hug.  As she began 
squeezing, Asuka yelled, "No one gets to kill Shinji except me!!!  You 
can't do it!  He's MINE!  All mine!"

EVA-00's chest armor cracked and split under the pressure, and Rei 
screamed as she sympathetically felt as if all her ribs had snapped at 
once.  She quickly passed out, but Asuka continued to press the attack.  
"You were always the perfect one!  But who's winning now, wonder girl?  
Huh?!  Who's better now?"

Pulpy liquids sprayed from EVA-00's smashed chest as Asuka finally 
released her grip.  The mecha slid to the ground, and Asuka began to 
kick it, her taunts becoming incomprehensible screams of rage and grief.  
She eventually collapsed too her knees, and then reverted to her human 
form.  The girl huddled against the warmth of EVA-00's thigh, curled 
into a sobbing, fetal ball.

"Athena" turned and saw a convoy of Shadowlaw vehicles rolling over the 
top of a nearby hill.  She recognized the power signatures of Bison, 
Sagat, and Protege in the command car leading the way.  Behind them were 
several tanks, and something that looked like a bizarre combination of 
ray gun and artillery piece.

Shinji had recovered, and got up in time to see the artillery piece 
turning to aim at him.  "I think it's time that we left," he announced.  
"Do you want a lift?" he asked Athena.

Shinji bent down and picked up MewTwo with one hand, Asuka with the 
other.  Athena settled on one of his shoulders, and the four of them 
disappeared with a flash of blue light.

***

"...I hope that Rei's okay."  Daisuke had just about fainted when her 
EVA had gone down.  "Do you think-"

"Oh, I'm sure those wonderful doctors at Shadowlaw will fix up your 
girlfriend as good as new!"  Daisuke sweatdropped.  "And we just saw the 
return of Shinji and Asuka to Ultra!  Just like some sort of family 
reunion!"

"You've got to be kidding.  They were trying to kill each other out 
there!"

"Work with me here, Daisuke!"

"WHAT!?!"

Sana turned to face the secondary camera bank as Daisuke sputtered in 
indignation.  "That really does wrap things up for this show.  I hope 
you had nearly as much fun as I did!  And don't forget to preorder Ultra 
Reboot!  It's only $54.95 if you order it ahead of time!  Yaaaaay!

"For all of us at Ultra, I'm Sana!"

"And I'm Daisuke.  Good night, everyone!"

***

In technical terms, a lot of complicated things happened.  Internal 
diagnostics reviewed the worst of the damage and directed the self-
repair circuits accordingly, sensory regulators dampened any discomfort 
to a level that would not be traumatic, and artificial stimulants were 
carefully routed to the organic portions of the system.

In terms that her simple kitty brain could understand, Nuku Nuku woke 
up.

"Wha-?" she began, but immediately cut off as a sharp pain throbbed in 
her head - even with all the advantages of modern psuedoscience, she had 
one monster headache.  The android clutched her head.  "Nyaaa..."

"Nuku Nuku!"  She looked up to see Shingo and Sakura, standing over her 
with concern.  "How are you feeling?"

She nodded, very carefully, at Shingo.  "Nuku Nuku is okay... but her 
head hurts a bunch."

"I'll get you some ice."

As he scurried off, Sakura breathed a sigh of relief.  "I'm glad you're 
better.  Washuu dropped by and did a system check on you - she said 
you'd recover, but I was kinda worried.  It's been a rough night for 
CHAOS."

Nuku Nuku smiled as best she could.  Shingo returned with a cold 
compress, which the android gingerly placed on her head.  "What 
happened?  I remember B-ko-san shot me with her guns, but I didn't think 
I'd be this hurt."

Sakura snorted.  "That bitch... after Krillin gave her the win, she just 
kept attacking you, over and over.  If he hadn't stopped her... I don't 
know what would have happened."

"Oh.  That wasn't very nice."  Suddenly the catgirl brightened.  "Still, 
Nuku Nuku hopes she gets to play with B-ko-san again soon!"

The two Gamma competitors stared at her.  "Uh... Nuku Nuku?" Shingo 
began.  "It *really* looked like she was trying to flat-out kill you.  I 
mean, kill you *dead*."

She waved it off.  "That's okay.  Back home, my friends *always* try to 
kill me.  It's fun!"

They continued to stare, and might have been frozen for the rest of the 
night if the phone hadn't rung.  Grateful for the distraction, Sakura 
picked it up.  "Hello?"  An odd look crossed her face, followed by 
annoyance.  "Oh, it's you.  Why do you always-?  Yeah, she's fine.  You 
wanna talk to her?  Okay."  She held out the receiver.  "It's for you."

Nuku Nuku blinked, then took the phone.  "Moshi moshi?"

"Heya, kid!  Are you okay?  Looks like you took a bad beating there."

Her face lit up.  "Jack-san!  It's okay - Nuku Nuku's better now.  What 
about Mister Duck-san?"

"What?  Oh, he's fine.  Never left my side.  He appreciates the 
sentiment, though."

"That's good.  I was worried."

"Well, worry no more - we'll get you a rematch so you can get that 
psycho back for what she did to you.  You can beat her up as much as you 
want next time, no holding back!"

Blink, blink.  "Ano... I don't mind fighting B-ko-san again, but I don't 
want to be mean to her."

"C'mon, Nuku Nuku!  She's rotten to the core!  She has to be punished 
for her crimes!  It's not like we're in Los Angeles or anything."

"B... but..."

He sighed.  "Look... I know revenge isn't your thing, but this is sports 
entertainment we're talking about - the audience likes it when the bad 
guys get what's coming to them.  You wouldn't want to disappoint your 
fans, would you?"

"I guess not."

"Okay, then.  Trust me, everyone will be happy when you win!"

His attitude started to rub off on her.  "Everyone will be happy!"

"But to do that, you've gotta be mean!"

"Nuku Nuku is mean!"

"You've gotta be tough!"

"Nuku Nuku is tough!"

"You've gotta show *no mercy*!"

"No mercy!  And afterwards we can all go out for pocky and yummy fish!"

Jack sighed again.  "...we'll work on it.  Are Jesse and James there?"

***

Washuu sighed and looked up again at the huge hole in the ceiling.  
Asuka had transformed before teleporting away, and the structural damage 
would take a few weeks to fix.  At least Mary had only been mildly 
traumatized by the experience - she stopped crying in less than a 
minute, and now seemed more worried about Asuka than her own safety.

The television had been smashed as well, so they didn't know how things 
had turned-

*BOOM*

The sound of a 70-meter mecha teleporting into an enclosed space is 
possibly even louder then the start on an Ultra episode, though Ultra 
gets points for longer duration.  In any case, the report was enough to 
shake, shatter, and pulverize the nearby structures not already 
destroyed.

Oh, well.  Washuu had been wanting to redecorate, anyway.

She ran out into the larger laboratory space in time to see Shinji do a 
slow transformation to his human form, gently lowering MewTwo and Asuka 
to the floor during that process.  Athena gracefully swooped down to 
land next to the three.  "Dammit," Shinji cursed, "I didn't have time to 
get Rei out of there.  Bison had a couple of guns big enough to maybe 
bring my AT field down."

"Good to see you back, Shinji!"  Washuu quickly scanned MewTwo and 
Asuka, then nodded in satisfaction.  "The big gray fella is just 
battered around a little, nothing some rest won't fix.  Asuka is 
physically in great shape... but it appears she has a few deep-seated 
psychoses that we're going to have to do something about."

Shinji smiled gently.  "I think those psychoses may have saved my 
life... but you're right.  It is sad to see her like this.  If only I'd 
been able to-"

Athena smacked Shinji on the back of his head.  "You can't control 
everything, kid.  I'll bet you tried your best, like you did out there 
tonight, and that's what counts."

Washuu whipped around as she heard the odd timbre of Athena's voice, and 
she paled as she recognized the changed speech patterns.  "Athena," she 
asked sharply, "do you feel normal?"

"I feel great!  But I'm Sie, not Athena..."  "Athena" trailed off as she 
looked down and realized  she had breasts.  "Or am I?  What's going on 
here?"

Washuu scanned the girl.  "Personality definition down 46% and falling.  
Metabolism rate rising geometrically... we need to reverse the 
procedure, fast!"  She grabbed Athena's arm and dragged her back to the 
transference lab where Sie's body still lay.  Athena lay down and the 
mechanical arms snapped down as Washuu frantically worked the controls.

"This won't take nearly as long, Athena, since we're moving in the 
direction your psyches naturally want to go.  Just lay back and relax."  
Washuu flipped the final switch, then went to take care of Asuka and 
MewTwo.


***

"So you see, Miss Tendo, while you may be able to push the blame for the 
incidents of child abuse to other parties, you are still very exposed on 
the issue of aiding a known felon."

Nabiki shook her head in horror.  "I can't believe that Jack was able to 
shut up long enough to let his lawyers set something like this up!"

"Regardless, you must become more conciliatory in dealing with his 
organization!  While the prosecutors are certainly interested in seeing 
you charged, Mr. Lysias is the real driving force behind the 
investigation.  The longer he can appear to be the injured party, the 
better his position with the authorities becomes."

"So you're saying I should kill Jack with kindness?"

"At least don't treat him worse than anyone else maybe?"

"I don't know if I can do that."

"And for heaven's sake - don't have any more contact with Bison, no 
matter-"

The wall screen chimed, and Bison's grinning face appeared on it.  The 
lawyer screamed, and ran from the room.  Bison watched him go, and 
asked, "Is this a bad moment?"

Nabiki rested her head on the desk, and Bison had to strain to 
understand her muffled words.  "It's always going to be a bad time.  
What do you want?"

"It seems to me that you're having some problems with Ultra, and I could 
use another toy.  How much would you be willing to sell it for?"

***

The reversal process had lasted a mere four hours.  MewTwo was still in 
a recovery tank, and Washuu had tranquilized Asuka, so there wasn't 
anything else to do except wait in the dimly lit room next to Athena and 
Sie.  Finally the transference device's arms lifted, and Washuu leaned 
forward, crossing her fingers for luck.  The instruments indicated that 
the psychic power transfer had completed successfully, and each had the 
same potential they had started with a week ago.

Athena yawned and sat up slowly.  She saw Washuu and smiled.

"Athena?"

"Yes?"

Washuu sighed in relief.  "Good.  You were getting confused when you 
came in - you actually thought you were Sie."

"No, I'm Athena."  The psychic girl frowned suddenly.  "But I think Sie 
is in my head, too."  Her voice lowered and her posture subtly changed.  
"I sure am!  Hi, Washuu!"

Washuu sweatdropped.  "Doh!"

***

][ ULTRA EPISODE 55 RESULTS RECAP:
][ 
][ MORRIGAN def. SHERMIE, now [6W, 3L]
][ KUNOU/HAOHMARU def. JESSIE/JAMES, now [4W, 5L]
][ KUNOU/HAOHMARU become Lambda Champions
][ JACK cuts a good deal with the prosecutors, but remains in jail
][ NABIKI gets a big legal problem of her own
][ B-KO def. NUKU NUKU, now [3W, 2L]
][ MARLO def. BEAN (disqualification), now [11W, 4L]
][ MARLO retains Hardcore Championship
][ ATHENA/SIE, SHINJI, and ASUKA rescue MEWTWO
][ BISON makes NABIKI an offer for Ultra
][ SIE is stuck in ATHENA'S head

I may tack on the plot thread summary if I have time in the next few 
days.

***

Author's Note:

I worked up a long, involved note that expressed some of my frustrations 
about how the writing of this episode played out... and then I realized 
that it was probably inappropriate for this setting.  If you're of a 
mind to, look it up on the ML in a day or two once I get a chance to 
edit it a little.

I've done a couple of things here that were not explicitly stated in my 
outline, but I think I've left them loose enough for the next authors to 
have some fun with.  Good luck to Cactus, and HHHitSquad with Reboot.

Big thanks to Brian Stricklin for writing the B-ko/Nuku Nuku fight and 
supporting materials.  It really rounded out the episode nicely.  And 
the Sprite commercial is Kryptik's work, though I trimmed it down a 
little to increase the comic effect.  The excerpts from Ultra #50 at the 
beginning of the ep were used without permission, though I assume that 
light cribbing for dramatic effect from previous eps is within the 
bounds of propriety.

I'll probably sit out next season for sure, unless someone wants some 
spot help, but expect me to try out for the season eight queue.  Writing 
Ultra produces a neat frission of stress and exultation... a great 
feeling, but I just want to relax for a few months.

Kerry "Ked" Stump
November 12, 2000

***

"You know, if I didn't think Nabiki would fire me the moment I told her, 
I would refuse to ever announce with you again."

"Waaaaaah!  But I kept my promise!  I didn't rap at all!"