Jack stepped back for a moment, eyeing the arrangement of papers, lawn ornaments, chess pieces, and limited-edition Ultra figurines on his desk, then leaned forward and exchanged the white knights with Ifurita (with Official Ultra Referee Shirt) and Goku (with Official Ultra Referee Shirt and Color- Changing Saiyajin Hair). The telephone rang just as Goku's feet hit the table, and Jack immediately snatched up the handset. "Harro! Thank you for calling Jack's Den of Controversy at its new location! Mr. Duck isn't available at the moment, but -" "Jack," said Nabiki over the phone, "why did you set up your office in the women's showers?" "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't for the scenery," Jack responded as he settled back into his chair, glancing around at the tiled walls and floor. "Don't sweat it, 'Biki, I'll be out before any of the fighters need this place. So what can I do you for, boss?" *SQUEAK* "Haven't I told you it's rude to interrupt when I'm on the phone, Mr. Duck?" Jack frowned at his perpetual bathtime companion. "Seriously, Beekster - what's up?" "I was calling to check on tonight's card, actually." "Oh, yes ..." Jack leaned forward to shuffle through assorted odds and ends, despite there being many more of the former than the latter. "Card, card, where'd I leave the ..." He held up a circuit board for a moment. "Hm. Ah-HA!" He tugged at the now-visible corner of a piece of paper, deftly sliding his notes out from underneath the feet of a stone gnome. "Given that next week is Reboot, I was figuring that we'd give Omega the kind of sendoff they deserve. Duo's got his robot back up and running, so I've got him set for a grudge match with B-ko." "That should draw some viewers," Nabiki agreed. "What about the rest of the division?" "You'll have to wait and see, but I guarantee you and everyone else is gonna love it." There was a pause of a few seconds before Nabiki finally responded, "Uh huh. This isn't going to turn out like that Battle Royal with Cheese, I hope ... what about promoting the pay-per-view itself?" "I was thinking we'd have two of our more popular Internet Champions face off at the top of the show ... namely Ash vs. Tifa; that oughta be better than pitting either of them against Mousse." "You're probably right," Nabiki agreed grudgingly. "What else have you got?" "Lambda and Hardcore title defenses." That got Nabiki's attention. "Against who?" Jack just grinned. "Folks who deserve the title shots. Team Enlightenment not being among them yet, of course." "I'm sure Yaga would argue that point." "Oh, I bet he will," Jack grinned even wider. "I'll just have to give him something else to sink his clause into, won't I?" He could almost hear Nabiki rubbing her forehead. "Anything else I should know about?" "Well ..." Jack turned the sheet over, looking at some of the other notes he'd made. "Li Shaoran asked for the week off for himself and Sakura, something about getting ready for Reboot. Other than that ..." He glanced around. "Hey, are the lights flickering up in your office?" "No ..." Nabiki sounded wary. "Is something happening down there?" "I dunno," answered Jack as he kept looking around. "Must be This Old Dojo working on -" He looked up at the lights themselves. He couldn't see them; his yelp of surprise was loud enough for Nabiki to jerk her ear away from the handset, and the ensuing crash could be heard clearly despite that distance, thanks to Jack's phone being at the bottom of it. "Jack!" Nabiki called into the phone as soon as the noise had settled. "Jack, can you hear me?" It took a moment and a few groans before Jack's voice came back on the line. "Don't think that was This Old Dojo ... I'm okay, 'Bikishi, just had two girls -" There was a bit of rustling. "- check that, two cute girls, a wolf, and a hawk land on me. Oh ... and some weird crazy floating ice-cube thingy, too. What should I do with 'em?" Nabiki sighed. "Did they come through a portal or something?" "Yeah, but it's gone now. No idea where or when they came from, either." In her office, Nabiki started rooting through a desk drawer for the aspirin. "Make sure they're all right, then start packing up your office; I need you somewhere more convenient than where you are now. In fact, I'd like to see you in my office when you've finished packing." "Be there in two shakes of a duck's tail. Thanks for calling!" Jack carefully moved two legs off his chest so that he could reach the phone's base, and hung up. "Now, what to do with you ... ?" - = - = - = - = - At about that moment, Ranma wanted to do nothing more than to toss his sensei through the dojo wall. It might even have been relatively easy to do so, if said sensei hadn't kept anticipating his every move; Ryu's dodges and blocks were effortless to a degree that made Ranma's own attacks and defenses look like a five-year-old's. "Stop." Ryu fell back into a purely defensive stance, waiting until Ranma obeyed his order. "Good work," he stated as he relaxed. Ranma sputtered. "GOOD?! I'm not even touchin' ya, and ya say I'm doin' *good*?" Ryu nodded. "If I were trying to attack you in return, you'd notice the difference. You're getting faster." "I've been faster than most martial artists for years now." "That's not what I mean," Ryu explained, his calm that of a mountain. "You can attack quickly, yes, but you can't fight faster than you can think. Remember how you managed to throw me?" "By anticipating where your arm'd be when you blocked, yeah," nodded Ranma. "But you're not letting me do that." "Exactly. Your opponent isn't going to deliberately *let* you hit or throw them, Ranma; they'll make it as hard as possible for you to do that. You have to control the entire pace of the fight, thinking at least two steps ahead of your opponent, and at least one step ahead of *yourself*. Know what you're going to do, and what you're going to do after that, and keep watching how your opponent reacts." "So what good's that when I can't even touch ya?" "You're not giving up," answered Ryu, "and you're not letting your temper drive you to make stupid mistakes. Your skills are still improving, Ranma, but you're not at Sagat's level yet." "Great," gritted Ranma. "How much longer's it gonna take?" "Until you're ready." Ryu shifted back into a ready stance, then paused as he saw Ranma wasn't following suit. "You have to keep training, Ranma." "Yeah, but I gotta get ready for tonight's show." Ranma mopped the sweat from his forehead with a towel. "Dunno if I'll have to fight or not, but I gotta be there anyway." Relaxing from his stance once more, Ryu nodded in agreement. "Our agreement stands ... tell nobody that I'm training you. Not even Akane, if she asks." "No prob," Ranma affirmed. "Later, sensei." - = - = - = - = - Back at the Ultradome, a yellow plushie with white wings was hovering over an ornate card, and both of them were glowing slightly - just enough to take an edge off the darkness in the locker room shared by the two members of Team Clow. (I still don't get it,) thought Kerberos - better known as Kero-chan - as he studied the Clow Card from outside and inside. (Pikachu's not a Clow Card, but it reacts to the enchantments according to Sakura's will -) The door opened and the lights clicked on. "Are you done yet?" asked Li Shaoran, wearing a Tomoeda Elementary T-shirt and loose shorts. "Sakura said she was letting me take The Pika back so I can use it next week, and I want to get used to handling it." "Back off, kiddo," Kero-chan growled. "I still don't know how Sakura captured Pikachu, but it's really delicate right now. Besides, you gave it back to her - where it should've been - after you couldn't make it respond." "But she made it work," Shaoran pointed out. "Anyway, she's not here, and I am, and she doesn't want to use The Pika - and I *do*." "Who's not here?" Sakura Kinomoto pushed the door open, revealing herself and a girl with long dark hair, the same age as Sakura and Shaoran, both girls standing in the hall. "Li-kun, you said yourself you couldn't use Pikachu." "I didn't think it could *be* used," argued Shaoran. "And why's she here?" he continued, pointing at the other girl. "We're not fighting tonight, so we don't need costumes." Tomoyo Daidouji just smiled gently. "Sakura-chan let me come along; since you're not fighting, we might get tickets for tonight's show." Shaoran shrugged, and turned his attention back to the floating plushie. "Hand it over." "Can't," Kero-chan responded. "Sakura has to do that herself. She sealed it, she controls it; if she wants to let you use it she has to say so." Without a word, Sakura picked up The Pika from the table and gazed at the picture of the lightning-tailed rodent ... then, slowly, held it out to Shaoran, who took it from her hand with surprising gentleness. "I'll be careful with it," Shaoran promised. "Besides, if anyone's going to figure out how to let Pikachu loose from the Clow Cards, I will." He looked pointedly at Kero-chan. "I've got a lifetime of experience -" "Not much of a lifetime," Kero-chan muttered. Shaoran continued without missing a beat. "- working with magic, and I know how Clow Reed's magic works better than even you do. See you next week." "You won't join us for the show tonight?" Tomoyo asked. "No. I have work to do." Shaoran left without another word, leaving two girls and one magical creature alone in the room. - = - = - = - = - Ken stood off to one side, watching Akane as she held her hands pulled back by her hip, as though holding an imaginary ball. Akane, for her part, was just trying to concentrate on following her teacher's instructions: gather her ki, and then push it away the same way she'd been pushing to ring the bell. It sounded far easier than it actually was. "Now," Ken ordered, and Akane pulled back further, winding up ... "HYAAAH!!" Her hands shot forward, light flaring between them - and dissipating almost as soon as it left her hands. The crude training dummy she was facing remained untouched. "Mou ... !!" Akane seethed, wiping sweat from her face with the back of her hand. "Try again." Ken looked at his student. "Learning to use your ki can be difficult -" "I already *can* use my ki!" snapped Akane. She paused to take a deep breath, then went on, "You saw me use that Bombshell attack against Yaga, and you told me yourself that ki is focused in the Dragon Punch. So why can't I throw a ki blast the way you and Ranma can?" Ken shook his head quietly. "I offered to train you, Akane, and you accepted. I'm teaching you what I know -" "What if I can't learn it?" Akane sighed, turning to look at the wooden training dummy which had come to dominate her waking hours. "What if there's something wrong with my ki so that I can't use your techniques?" "There isn't," Ken replied. "Akane, you *can* learn these moves and use them, just like I do. It's just going to take some time.' "How long? Months? Years? I don't know when Roxy's going to be expected for another match, Ken, and I can't wait until you've finished teaching me -" "You *have* to finish!" Ken barked. "Shotokan karate -" Akane spun on her heel to face Ken, cutting him off in mid-sentence. "I don't *use* Shotokan karate, Ken! I use Anything-Goes; that's the style I've trained in practically since I was old enough to walk, and I'm going to inherit Father's dojo when I'm old enough." She turned to face the dummy again, ki gathering between her hands as she pulled back, then let it fly without even thinking about it. The blast splattered around the rope-wrapped wooden cross, wrenching it backwards about five degrees from its initial vertical position. "That was *not* a Hadouken," Ken admonished his student ... then grinned. "But you're on the right track." Akane kept staring at the dummy, glancing briefly at her hands. "Wait a second ... I don't *need* the real Hadouken." She took a breath, pulling back her hands as she'd been taught ... concentrated ... Another wave of ki crossed the distance between Akane's hands and the training dummy, and she grinned in triumph. Ken frowned. "Akane, I don't think you should give up so easily." She sighed, turning to look at him again. "It's not called 'giving up,' Ken. It's called learning what I can use and not worrying about what I can't. Look, Anything-Goes has a totally different mindset from Shotokan, doesn't it?" "Yes ..." Ken nodded reluctantly. "Shotokan is much more disciplined." "Except that it's not suited for me. Ken, if you can keep teaching me, I'd like to continue training with you - but not as a student of Shotokan karate." A newly-kindled fire burned in Akane's eyes. "When I go back to Ultra, as Roxy or under my real name ... I'm going to prove that I'm ready to inherit the Tendou school of Anything-Goes Martial Arts, and I'm going to prove it by fighting in my own style." - = - = - = - = - Yaga fumed quietly as he walked along the main concourse, occasionally holding a large soft drink cup against the side of his face. (Trust Jack not to inform anyone when he moves his office,) the wrestler thought sourly as he searched the concession stands for a certain head of spiky red hair. "You!" he barked at a sales clerk as he approached one of the merchandise stalls. "Do you know where I can find the head booker's office?" "About three-point-one-four meters away from you, my good man," responded Jack as he took off his official MTCFF Ultra baseball cap. "What's shaking, Yaga?" The wrestler mercilessly smothered an urge to curse Jack Lysias to his face. "I have come to speak with you regarding tonight's card." "Oh?" Jack replied casually. "Here, maybe you'd like to buy a copy of tonight's program; only one thousand yen. Or the deluxe program, a steal at a mere twenty-five hundred yen! How does that sound?" "You know what I mean, Jack," Yaga answered, setting his cup down on the counter and revealing a yellowing bruise along the side of his cheek. "My contract stipulates -" "- that the employees receive a fair discount on all Ultra-related goods, yes, I completely forgot," Jack nodded, smiling. "Looks like you could use some official Ultra Band-Aids for that bruise you got there ... how'd that happen, anyway? Did a door hit you?" "No," growled Yaga quietly. "I was looking for your office, and -" Jack smacked his forehead. "Geez, did I forget to put up the 'We've Moved' sign again? How forgetful of me ... how was the scenery, though?" "They were highly unamused," Yaga muttered, remembering the enraged walloping that the three girls had been able to deliver before he successfully retreated. The fact that all three of them were children, none of them experienced fighters of his caliber, made the short-lived beating all the more painful. "That is not the point." "Scorecard?" Jack offered. "Customizable in the event of unplanned changes to the night's schedule. Only four hundred yen, plus two hundred for an official Ultra ballpoint pen." "Will you *please* stop trying to sell me things?" Yaga growled, glancing instinctively down at the scorecard - and blinking. "This is *not* acceptable," he started, pointing at a line on the pre-printed portion of the scorecard. "I demand a Lambda title match for Team Enlightenment." "Sorry, they beat you to it," Jack shrugged as he dropped the scorecard back on the stack. "Besides, these two deserve it more right now. Don't worry, your colleagues will get their chance in due course, but it's also way too early for that feud to pay off, and you know that as well as I do. But, seeing as I hate to see you walk away unsatisfied ... what about a match for yourself tonight? I can even have a fresh batch of scorecards printed to reflect the change; business hasn't picked up much yet." "Against whom?" Yaga asked, looking wary. The last time he'd demanded a match, he'd nearly been bitten in half by a monstrous steel-armored snake. "Bean Bandit." Jack leaned back against the wall. "How does that sound?" Yaga paused, thinking it over. Bean was a tough fighter in his own right, but unlike most of the possible opponents, he was a fairly ordinary human beyond that - and one other thing. "As long as he doesn't wear armored clothes like he normally does," the wrestler stated, "it's an acceptable match." "And that counts as your booking for tonight," grinned Jack. "But, it just so happens that I *do* have an opening for Team Enlightenment tonight. It's not a title shot, but it's a match ... oh, and Alberto will be busy tonight as well." He tapped a line on the scorecard. "No objections, I hope?" "No objections," Yaga reluctantly conceded. "I will inform Haohmaru and Morrigan ... are you going to tell me who they're facing?" "Let's just say some of them have met before, if what I'm told is true." Jack shrugged. "Not gonna tell you more than that, but you don't want your life to be boring, now do you?" Yaga scowled, reclaimed his drink, and proceeded down the concourse. Jack just grinned to himself, murmuring, "Another satisfied customer," as he pulled out his cell phone. - = - = - = - = - Sitting on her hovering cushion, Washuu's fingers raced across a shadowy keyboard as she struggled to lose herself in her work ... to bury herself in her research to the point where time no longer mattered. To immerse herself so deeply in the pursuit of science that the rest of the world, her heart included, dropped away from her awareness completely. Equations, figures, charts and monographs rippled across her screen in a torrent of data in its purest form, sections of it being highlighted for processing as Washuu skimmed through her data libraries almost at random. She didn't have any particular projects in mind, she was just sifting the information until she happened on something that caught her interest enough to work on. In the meantime, she had dozens of theories to continue refining, and nothing else with which to keep herself occupied. So deeply was the crab- haired scientist concentrating that she never even noticed the portal forming behind her, nor heard the sound of feet falling gently upon the floor. "Mommy, are you still mad at me?" Washuu paused, freezing the display as she blinked. She couldn't have just heard what she thought she heard ... "Mommy?" Oh yes she could have. "Mary!!" Washuu spun around, hopping off her cushion and kneeling to give her "adopted" daughter a hug that would have done a grizzly bear credit. "Mary, do you have *any* idea how worried I've been about you since that ..." "I know, Mommy." Mary's voice was calm and quiet, and almost regretful. "I'm all right, but I couldn't stay and let you be the only one to describe the world for me." Washuu's shoulders slumped. "I was going to let you see more ..." "When?" asked Mary, mysteriously unaccusing. "When you were older ... I don't know how much older." Washuu sighed, loosening her hold on the girl who embodied the Godhead. "I'm sorry ... I hate to think that Sephiroth was actually *right* -" "Mommy, you made the decision you thought was right." Mary placed her hand over Washuu's as it rested on the young girl's shoulder, just next to a few stray strands of blonde hair. "And Mr. Sephiroth did what he thought he needed to, even if he thought he had reasons of his own to do so. He wants divinity, even though he can never have it." "That's why I didn't want him near you," Washuu answered, sitting back on her heels so that she actually had to look up at her daughter. "I knew he was going to hurt you if he thought it would benefit him." "Pain is part of the world, Mommy," stated Mary as though it was the most obvious of truths. "I need to know pain and sorrow, not just innocent happiness. I need to know all of these things, but no one person can teach me." "Mary, no -" Washuu's heart skipped a beat as she guessed what Mary was about to tell her. "Please, don't go away again ... I may not be the best mother in the Universe, but I still love you, daughter." "I'm not going back to Mr. Sephiroth, Mommy. He has to learn more too, but I can't teach him yet." Mary looked down for a moment. "I'm sorry I can't stay with you again, Mommy, but ... I'll try to come and visit you again soon, okay?" Washuu drew Mary into another hug, stroking the little girl's silky blonde hair. "Where will you be ... ?" Mary giggled softly. "I'll be in school. Isn't that where children are supposed to learn?" "You want me to enroll you at the local elementary school?" Washuu blinked at her daughter. "No ..." Mary glanced off to the side at a large television set, which was already turned on and showing the live promo for that night's Ultra broadcast. "I'll be there." Washuu's jaw dropped. Mary, at the UltraDome, *alone*? Before she could respond, Mary seemed to read her thoughts. "I won't be alone, Mommy. I'm going to learn from the people there. You know I'll be safe." "I *don't* know that," sighed Washuu as she let go of Mary again. "You may have been immune to Sephiroth's blade, you may even be immortal, but ..." "I'll take care of myself," Mary promised her foster mother. "And I'll stay out of trouble, too ... I'm not going to intervene, I'll just watch whatever I see. Bye bye, Mommy ..." She darted forward to give Washuu another hug. "I'll see you soon too, okay?" Before Washuu could collect her wits for a response, Mary had disappeared again. LIVE! FROM THE UltraDome! THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT AND IMPROFANFIC! IT'S TIME FOR... { M A G I C A L T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G } { C R O S S O V E R F I G H T I N G } { F E D E R A T I O N } { .-----------. } { | U-L-T-R-A | } { `-----------' } { http://www.mtcffultra.com } Episode 77: Treachery, Tags, Taps, and Tables Episode by: Shachihoko "ARE YOU READY ... FOR A LITTLE .... *ULLLLLTRAAAAAAVIOLENCE?!?!?!*" The roar that went up from the audience was untranslatable, due to nothing more than the sheer volume of sound being produced, but it was undeniably a positive one - exceedingly positive, to judge by the enthusiasm behind a stadium full of Ultra fans at full vocal output. It was also loud enough to make most commercially-produced ear protectors, such as the headsets worn by those guys who guide airliners and fighter jets into takeoff positions, whimper and crumple like cheap tissue paper. "Glad we've got these earphones," Daisuke muttered away from his microphone. Hiroshi hardly cared. "We're just one week away from Ultra Reboot 4.0, ladies and gentlemen, and we're going to kick off the last seven days of waiting with one hell of a bang tonight! The *entire* Omega division is seeing action one way or another, to give them a grand ol' Ultra-class sendoff before their vacation, and we've even got not one, but *two* title defenses taking place right here, tonight!" "Almost all of Omega is going to be off next week," Daisuke corrected his partner, "with the exception of Gundam pilot Duo Maxwell - who finally has a chance to get back at B-ko for jumping him while Deathscythe was under repairs several weeks ago." The UltraTron went into recap mode, showing a series of clips from B-ko's ambush and the unlikely debut of Ultraman. "Duo will be fighting without his mecha at Reboot, obviously, but his repair work is going to be put to the test in tonight's first Omega match." "But before we get there," Hiroshi enthused, "we're celebrating the imminent approach of our fourth Reboot with a meeting of former Internet champions, the first and the last to date - and you don't even have to wait to see it! Coming down the ramp now, hailing originally from Nibelheim and accompanied by Bean Bandit, please welcome TIFA LOCKHART!!" Cheers filled the Ultradome as Tifa strode down the ramp, waving cheerfully to all and sundry. Bean followed a few steps behind, looking much more casual but waving in his turn, and doing his best to ignore the cheerfully innuendo-laden signs held up by some of the fans. "And her opponent," Daisuke picked up, "the current Internet champion who will be defending his title next week at Reboot ... from Pallet Town, Ash Ketchum." Heavy metal and boos flooded the air to greet the leather-and-metal-clad Pokemon trainer as he strode down the ramp, hoots of derision rolling off his shoulders like water off a Golduck's back. Tifa was already in the ring, Bean standing his ground outside, as Ash paused halfway down the ramp, raising a microphone to speak into it. "So you think you can beat me, huh? How're *you* planning to cheat? Same kind of magic you always use?" Tifa scowled. "I don't need to cheat to win, Ash!" she shouted at the boy, forgoing the microphone proffered by a stagehand. "It doesn't matter what you think, but I'm going to prove to you that there's at least one fighter here in Ultra who wins without cheating!" "Oh yeah?" jeered Ash, resuming his course towards the ring. "And how're you gonna do that? Just lie down already and give it up; you can't beat a Pokemon master like me in a fair fight!" Her scowl turning into an icy look, Tifa fixed her eyes on Ash. "Bean ... hold out your hands for a moment." She ignored the professional driver's confused look, but stepped over to where he held his cupped hands under the ropes, and started plucking spheres of colored crystal from the back of her gloves. "I don't get it," Hiroshi puzzled from behind the announce table. "It looks like Tifa's taking out all of her materia and giving them to Bean - but why?" "Probably to prove that she doesn't need magic to beat Ash," Daisuke replied, "but she may be making a big mistake - Ash's new Steel-type Pokemon are way too strong for an ordinary human to fight, and without materia that's just what Tifa is." Ash slid under the ropes and stood up in the ring as Tifa finished taking materia out of her glove. "I'll give you points for confidence," the preteen smirked, "but that's not gonna prove anything." Tifa pointedly kept looking into Ash's eyes, but he refused to meet her gaze completely. "Thanks, Bean ... now go over and stand at the base of the ramp. Whatever happens now, don't move from that spot - not even if you think I'm going to get killed." She pushed herself back to her feet, bouncing from foot to foot as she stared down Ash. "You wanted a fair fight, Ketchum, and you're going to get it. If you can call those monsters of yours 'fair,' that is." "Steelix, Skarmory, I choose you!!" Ash whipped a pair of Pokeballs into the middle of the ring, releasing the massive armored snake and the steel- plumed raptor. "Show her what we do to cheaters!" ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ TIFA LOCKHART vs. ASH KETCHUM ][ FIGHT! The ring creaked ominously under the stupendous weight of Steelix as it materialized; Skarmory's perching briefly on top of it didn't make the strained sounds any more comforting. "This doesn't look good, folks!" declared Hiroshi. "Tifa's proven that she's tough, but she's materia-less against two of the toughest Pokemon we've ever seen in Ultra! Steelix is even more massive than Onix, and it nearly bit Yaga in half last week - how is Tifa going to contend with both Steelix *and* Skarmory?!" "Steelix, use Tackle attack!" shouted Ash, pointing at Tifa as she backed towards the corner. "Skarmory, hit her with Wing Attack!" Tifa immediately stopped backing away and flung herself to the side, her path taking her within inches of Steelix as it reared up and drove its head towards the mat with the force of a pile-driver. She tucked into a roll as the Pokemon's impact ripped a hole in the canvas right where she'd been standing, and pushed off again, feeling metallic feathers shear through the air just behind her. "Teef!!" Bean's fists clenched as though imagining Ash's neck in his grasp, but he gritted his teeth and stood his ground, just barely at the edge of the ramp. A sigh of relief seemed to go up from the crowd as Tifa came back to her feet and the two Pokemon recovered from their attack - but the buxom martial artist didn't give the creatures time to prepare for another attack before rushing Steelix and starting to climb up its body. "WHAT?!" shrieked Ash in outrage. "Steelix, shake her off and use Bind! NOW! Skarmory, pluck her off!" (No you don't,) thought Tifa as she vaulted from spine to spine along Steelix's body. If it was built anything like Shinra's combat robots ... there! Holding on with one hand, she cocked her fist back and drove it into the iron snake Pokemon's body, near the bottom of one segment, and gloved knuckles met metal hide with an impressive-sounding CLANG! A roar of pain echoed through the UltraDome as Steelix writhed, trying to buck Tifa off; instead, she let go on her own initiative and dropped back to the mat, Skarmory's talons missing her by inches. As soon as her feet touched the ring, Tifa spun around and laid into the serpentine Pokemon's flank with a series of punches, sparks flying from each impact. "CHEATER!!!" Ash howled. "There's no way you could be hurting Steelix like that, you *ARE* cheating! Steelix, use your Slam attack and drive her through the mat!" "It sounds impossible," Hiroshi commented as Tifa backflipped away from the descending Pokemon, "but Tifa Lockhart is actually holding her own! All those years of fighting in an underground terrorist organization must have paid off, because she is kicking ass and taking names like there's no tomorrow!" "There *won't* be a tomorrow for her if either of those Pokemon land a hit," Daisuke pointed out. "Ash is acting like he's out for blood, and I wouldn't want to be in Bean's shoes right now." Tifa was ignoring everything except for the two Pokemon she was up against. Steelix was quite literally the bigger threat, while Skarmory kept swooping at her and trying to do heaven knew what while she was otherwise occupied; if she let her guard down for even a fraction of a second, she'd lose the match too fast to realize it until she woke up in the infirmary. Steelix reared up again, preparing to drop its weight on her, and she rushed forward, apparently into the teeth of its attack, letting Bean's horrified cry pass unacknowledged, and put her full momentum behind her fist, planting it in the belly side of one segment. Steelix bellowed in pain, twisting away from the impact and collapsing half outside the ring, its descent forcing two of the cameramen to leap out of the way. Only Bean was in a position to notice the Pokemon's crossed eyes, and he was too fearful for Tifa's sake to care. Trembling in fury, Ash recalled Steelix to its Pokeball. "Skarmory, use Steel Wing NOW! Don't let her get away with that!" The armored raptor dove at Tifa, light reflecting from its wings as it slashed through the air like a guided missile - and caught Tifa directly in the midriff, hurling her into the ropes. "TIIIFAAAAA!!!" roared Bean, taking one step towards the ring as she rebounded from the ropes, staggering and clutching her gut. "You can't keep -" She cut him off with a raised hand, her eyes on Skarmory as it circled around for another pass. Tifa knew she was hurt badly, her lungs and guts burning in agony, but her eyes still flashed defiantly. Skarmory dove again, and this time Tifa was ready, rolling under its swoop and latching onto its talons as it ascended again, beating its wings against the sudden increase in weight. "I do not believe this," gasped Hiroshi as Tifa curled up underneath Skarmory, her hands locked around its ankles, and began unleashing kick after kick into its belly, Ash shouting commands without results. "Even after taking a full-force Steel Wing, Tifa is STILL in the fight! You have to admire her stamina, her guts - !" "Her guts are going to be spilled all over the mat if she takes another hit like that," stated Daisuke almost emotionlessly, struggling not to freak out. "And if that happens, Bean looks ready to rip Ash limb from limb with *his* bare hands ..." Tifa wound up once more, then put all her strength into a kick with both feet at the armored raptor's belly; with a cry of pain, Skarmory started to keel over in the air, and Tifa simply let go, falling back to the ring and somehow landing on her feet as the Pokemon slammed into the barrier that shielded the audience. "That's - not - POSSIBLE!!" raged Ash, pulling out two more Pokeballs, one of which he used to recall Skarmory before lobbing the other one at Tifa's exposed back. "Magneton, use Supersonic!" The tri-spheroid Pokemon solidified and immediately began emitting a high-pitched shriek like feedback, forcing everyone except Ash and the announcers to cover their ears. Tifa, at the focal point of the attack, was hit the hardest, her sense of balance going haywire as she stumbled and retched, flecks of blood staining the mat. "Great, Magneton!" shouted Ash. "Start hitting her with Sonicboom, drive her into the corner so she can't escape!" As Magneton's Supersonic attack ceased, Daisuke seized the opportunity to speak into his microphone. "And this sounds like an excellent time to tell you about UltraSound's fine line of hearing-protective equipment, from earplugs to professional noise-screening headphones. UltraSound, the only ear protection used and endorsed by MTCFF Ultra's technical teams and support crew. Tifa is taking an awful lot of punishment right now ..." As another shockwave ripped through her body, Tifa finally fell against the ring ropes, spitting blood and bile over the edge of the apron. (Too much,) she thought woozily as she eyed the Magneton, while it circled for another shot. (Gotta finish this fast ... while I still can ...) She waved Bean off again as she staggered back to her feet, just in time for the shriek of another Sonicboom hurled her back against the turnbuckles. "Again!" barked Ash, and Magneton obeyed, yet another sonic shockwave lashing through Tifa's body as she convulsed in the corner of the ring. "Again!" Tifa went limp, her arms hanging loosely over the top ropes. Bean finally started walking towards the ring, one ponderous step at a time. "It's gotta be almost over, folks!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "Tifa looks dead on her feet, and Ash isn't letting up on the assault even though Bean is closing in with intent to smack his ass down! Our first Internet Champion is losing to her latest successor!" Ash smiled slowly, a feral gleam in his eyes. "It's too late for cheating to save your girlfriend now, Bandit ... Magneton, finish her off with Explosion!" "Mag ... ne ..." The three metal spheres started glowing, sparks of electricity dancing across the Pokemon's skin. Tifa's eyes snapped open, her gaze focusing one more time ... "TON!!" Magneton's whole body started glowing white as Tifa pulled herself up to the top turnbuckle, just before the Explosion went off, flooding that corner of the ring with noise and light. "And it's OVER!!" gasped Hiroshi. "Oh, man, I don't want to see what's left of Tifa ... hey, wait a minute -" Ash looked up, his triumphant smirk frozen as a female body plummeted towards him, planting a steel-toed clog between his eyes with an audible *crack!* "I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!" shouted Hiroshi in relief as Ash toppled over like a felled tree. "Tifa was playing possum, she *rode* the Explosion up and took Ash out of the fight with one hit! She's still hurt, but Ash is out like a light and the ref is giving the ten-count!" Tifa swayed on her feet as she watched the referee begin counting. She held her midriff tenderly; her guts felt like they were on fire, and she hoped she wasn't bleeding internally. She shook her head a couple of times to try to clear it, but the pain stayed ... and as the adrenaline wore off, she collapsed to the mat. The referee finished the ten-count, and the bell rang, finally giving Bean permission to enter the ring - which he immediately did, rushing to Tifa's side. "You won, Teef," Bean said softly, holding her carefully. "You beat him ... I don't know how, but you beat him with your bare hands. Great job." "And it's official!" Hiroshi shouted. "Tifa Lockhart, Ultra's original Internet Champion, proves her superiority over the latest claimant to the title! What an amazing start to the last Ultra before the fourth Reboot pay- per-view, and we'll be back right after this!" As the cameras were switched to stand-by, Tifa managed to open her eyes again. "I hit him pretty hard," she told one of the EMTs that had come out to load her onto a stretcher. "Is he gonna be okay?" "We'll check him out," the medic promised Tifa. "Now lie still." - = - = - = - = - Lei Wulong walked the corridors of the UltraDome, eyes and ears taking in every detail as he strode down the hall, including the UltraCam that joined him, falling in behind the fighting detective as he crossed through an intersection. Two weeks, and he was no closer to finding Johnny Cage's murderer than when he'd first arrived. (Maybe it's someone else who *used* to be in Ultra,) he thought dourly. (But they're all accounted for ...) "Excuse me!!" Lei looked up as Sakura Kasugano ran up to him, clutching a pen and a notepad. "I'm sorry to interrupt, Lei-san, but - could I have your autograph?" Lei grinned a little. "Sure ... I thought you were the big Ryu fan," he commented as he signed a page of the notebook. "Or are you just collecting autographs from your fellow fighters?" Sakura looked a little sheepish. "I just really admire your work, Lei- san ... you're not like Ryu, but still, I admire what you do." Lei nodded as he resumed walking, letting Sakura fall into step next to him. "You seem like a good kid," he grunted. "Ordinarily, I'd figure a girl who runs off to practice martial arts for a delinquent of some kind, but I hear you're responsible, you and that Shingo kid you're teamed with." "I try," admitted Sakura. "My parents think this is just a phase I'm going through, but I keep my grades up and they don't worry about me so much." "Good." Lei paused, studying a coffee table as he continued to walk down the hall. "A girl like you should stay out of trouble; you've got a lot of promise." "Thanks! - Ne, Lei-san?" "Hm?" He looked down at the fuku-clad teenager. "I was wondering ... do you need some help?" That brought Lei to a complete halt. "Do I need *what*?" "Some help," Sakura repeated. "You know, bringing justice to Ultra ... I bet you'd make a good teammate with Li Ping, and the four of us - you, Li, me and Shingo - could all work together!" Shaking his head, Lei answered, "I'm here on my own and I don't want into the tag-team scene. I don't need any help." "But we *want* to help you!" Sakura insisted. "All three of us like what you're doing, and we want to do whatever we can! Besides, the way you kicked that Zell guy's butt when you first appeared was awesome!" Lei shook his head again. "I appreciate the offer, don't get me wrong, but I really don't want to have to watch out for the three of you while I'm here." (I might miss an important clue,) he thought to himself as he tried to think of a way to convince Sakura, and if necessary Shingo and Li, to let the matter rest. "We can fight!" protested Sakura. "Maybe we're not the best, but I've had the Gamma title and we can all hold our own in the ring, and if something unexpected happens, that's why you've got teammates, right?" "I'm sorry, Ms. Kasugano," Lei said firmly, "but I have to refuse your generous offer. If I ever do need help, I'll remember it, but until and unless that happens, please let me take care of my own business here." He resumed walking, leaving Sakura standing there; after a moment, she turned and headed in the opposite direction. Neither of them noticed the young blonde-haired girl sitting next to a vending machine, who nibbled on a piece of chocolate as she watched them go. - = - = - = - = - "And welcome back!" Hiroshi told the viewers at home as they cut back to the announcers' table. "The ring's still being repaired after that intense match between Ash and Tifa; we'll have an update on their status later in the program, but while This Old Dojo finishes working, it's time for our first Omega match of the evening: Duo Maxwell vs. B-ko Daitokuji, as promised!" "Duo's been out of the Omega division ever since UltraRage Zeta, when his Gundam was wrecked by Bison's Psycho Crusher," Daisuke recapped for those fans with sports-entertainment memory spans, "and his repair work was set back even further after B-ko tried to ambush him in the repair bay a couple of weeks ago." "But Deathscythe makes its triumphant return to action tonight," Hiroshi concluded, "and tonight, Duo is going to get some payback against B-ko for trying a sneak attack like that! We take you now to our chosen Omega arena, where Ifurita is ready to start the match!" - - - - - - - - - Icy winds swept across bare rock, starlight just managing to illuminate the black-armored form of Deathscythe and the black-cloaked bulk of another mecha. Between the two, Ifurita glanced at each competitor in turn. "Destruction of the world or the universe is a technical foul," she reminded them both. "Begin." ][ OMEGA MATCH #1 ][ DUO MAXWELL vs. B-KO DAITOKUJI ][ FIGHT! "OHHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!" B-ko laughed in anticipation of her triumph. "Now I may destroy your puny mecha at my leisure, for you no longer have that alien giant to hide behind!" Duo grinned tightly, his hands flexing around the controls. "Lots of luck, you crazy wench," he shot back as his mecha readied its signature weapon, the plasma blade flaring and curving out from the business end of his beam scythe. "The God of Death is back in business, and you haven't got a prayer." B-ko laughed again, a blue-and-white arm emerging from the folds of her mecha's cloak to grip the fabric over its opposite shoulder. "I need no prayers when I have the power of my ultimate creation -" The cloak was ripped of and tossed away as she finished, "the Akagiyama Neo-Armor Heavy Elemental Incrementor Mecha!" Back in the UltraDome, Hiroshi gawked at the UltraTron. "That's the Zeta Gundam! Where did B-ko get the armor to build a Gundam of her own?" Daisuke just shrugged. Only his restraining harness kept Duo from facefaulting inside his mecha's cockpit. "Geez," he muttered. "This crazy girl can't have come up with her own Gundam, I thought that was why she wanted *mine* ..." He sat up, gripping the control sticks. "C'mon, partner, let's teach her what a *real* Gundam can do!" The Akagiyama Neo-Armor Heavy Elemental Incrementor Mecha, or whatever you want to call it, raised the beam rifle clutched in its right hand and squeezed off a shot at Deathscythe. Then another, and another, as B-ko continued laughing. "Taste the heat of my wrath, foolish boy!" Deathscythe easily dodged the first few bolts, raising its shield to block one shot, then opened up with the vulcan cannons housed in its helmet as it got serious about evading the ANAHEIM's fire. "Yeah, yeah," Duo sighed, "same old trash talk as every other hotshot mecha pilot ... myself included," he finished with a grin as he rushed towards B-ko's mecha, vernier thrusters roaring to life to propel Deathscythe toward its foe. B-ko switched her beam rifle to autofire, her mecha flying backwards as she drained the power clip in an attempt to force Deathscythe to break off its approach. A few lucky shots gouged divots out of weak points in the black Gundam's armor, but for the most part the effort was wasted, and B-ko abandoned the rifle. Ifurita casually swooped in to redirect the discarded weapon through a portal back to the UltraDome, most of her attention still on the battle. His grin widening, Duo swung his mecha's beam scythe, splitting the thin air inches away from the ANAHEIM's chest as B-ko continued to retreat. "I don't know how you built your own fake Gundam," he taunted over the communications channel, "but that's all it is - a fake!" His response was another bout of laughter from the purple-haired heiress. "This is no fake Gundam!" B-ko replied after several seconds of laughing. "The armor is real, obtained at substantial expense from a special supply base in the middle of Siberia!" "You gotta be kidding me," Duo muttered as he attempted to slice B-ko's mecha in half down the middle - only to be blocked by a beam sword which ANAHEIM had pulled from its hip armor. "You mean I didn't have to wait for WHOA!!" He hit the brakes, and Deathscythe dug in its heels, skidding to a halt - but not before a pair of rocket-propelled grenades were launched from the other mecha's wrist, detonating with mostly harmless results against Deathscythe's chest and face. "OHHHHHHHHHHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!" B-ko laughed in triumph as she brought her mecha to a halt a few hundred meters away from the stunned Deathscythe (or more accurately, the Deathscythe and its stunned pilot). "See the superiority of a Daitokuji design! Akagiyama Neo-Armor, reconfigure! Transform and assume aerial superiority mode!" "Is Duo right about B-ko's Gundam being a fake?" Daisuke wondered. "No," Hiroshi shook his head, "the Zeta Gundam was built so it could transform into a 'waverider' mode, for space flight and atmospheric re-entry. I think it was the first Gundam designed to do so." By the time Deathscythe's sensors had reset, the ANAHEIM had finished its transformation and was banking around for an attack run. "Great," muttered Duo as he braced himself and his mecha for the oncoming attack. "Gonna have to clip her wings pretty fast ... hmmmm ..." He studied the display. The ANAHEIM completed its turn and rocketed towards Deathscythe, beam guns deploying and opening fire in a strafing run which was largely ineffective; plasma bolts ricocheted off of Deathscythe's armor like raindrops from an umbrella, and Duo didn't even blink as his mecha pivoted and leaped at B-ko's mecha/gunship from behind. Three seconds and two slashes later, two large sections of the ANAHEIM's flight surfaces slammed into the ground, and the ANAHEIM itself quickly plowed into the ground, bright orange cracks glowing in the newly-gouged channel in the rock. 'I am impressed," admitted B-ko as the ANAHEIM reverted to its normal mode and got back to its feet, "but you have not yet witnessed the full extent of my power. Akagiyama Neo-Armor, access auxiliary weapons!" A dimensional portal opened next to the mecha, allowing it to reach in and pull out another weapon. A big one. A REALLY big one, longer even in its stored configuration than the ANAHEIM, or Deathscythe for that matter, was tall. Duo sprouted a sweatdrop as he watched ANAHEIM preparing its new gun for firing, opening covers and unfolding the grips, then hitting a control which extended the barrel. "You gotta be kidding me ..." B-ko's laugh filled the communications channel again, making Duo wince. "Hades Recoilless Howitzer, prepare to fire!" The muzzle of the ridiculously oversized gun started glowing. "This is bad," noted Hiroshi. "The Zeta's Hyper Mega Launcher was -" "Hush up and watch," muttered Daisuke, digging his elbow into Hiroshi's side. Duo steered his Gundam back and forth, hoping it would be enough to throw off B-ko's aim; Gundanium armor was tough, even after improvising repairs to it with Washuu's help, but he didn't want to take any chances - tough and invulnerable remaining two entirely separate concepts in his book. "Hades Recoilless Howitzer ..." "Here goes nothing," muttered Duo as he brought Deathscythe to a temporary halt. "... FIRE!!!" Pure, distilled, plasmatic destruction erupted from the muzzle of the Hades Howitzer, roaring towards Deathscythe ... and cleanly over it as the Gundam dropped face-first to the ground a split second before the blast reached it. A beam of energy is only diverted if there's something in place to divert it, and so the wave of plasma kept on going to shear the top three quarters off of a mountain on the horizon. The remaining quarter of the mountain, not unexpectedly, blew up in the beginnings of a massive volcanic eruption, cracks opening in the planetoid's surface and rapidly spreading towards the two mecha. Ifurita swooped in. "I calculate that the tectonic disturbances now commencing will be more than sufficient to turn this planetoid into rubble in 2.37 minutes. I hereby award the match to Duo Maxwell as the result of a disqualification, and request emergency evacuation portals back to the UltraDome." "NO!!!!" howled B-ko, struggling to line up another shot on Deathscythe. "I was about to win - !!" Duo's scythe cut the Hades Howitzer in half, fortunately missing its power supply. "Save it for later; we're getting out of here! And maybe next time you'll think not to buy your mecha's armor material from a Russian military surplus depot!" - - - - - - - - - Hiroshi was trying not to laugh as the feed cut back to the UltraDome. "And with the same talent for dramatic flair he's always had, Duo packs up the win by using B-ko's own firepower to her disadvantage!" Daisuke gave his co-announcer a sidelong look. "B-ko blew up the planet without his help, you know - and if you even *start* to say a catchphrase ..." "You're no fun," Hiroshi complained good-naturedly. "Either way, Duo picks up a well-deserved win over B-ko, and B-ko learns something about where to go shopping for materials." He chuckled again. "Russian military surplus ... hoo boy, she had that one coming! Anyway, we'll be back in a couple of minutes for tonight's Hardcore title defense, so don't go away!" - = - = - = - = - Many people would say that the UltraDome is filled with legends. Dan Hibiki, the master of Saikyou-ryuu ... Lina Inverse, force of destruction incarnate and "Enemy of All Who Live" ... The Great Yaga, whose younger days are still remembered respectfully by long-time fans of Japanese professional wrestling, even though he's no longer the shining star he used to be. At this moment, one legend in particular was walking through the hallways, occasionally ducking or weaving to avoid catching his hair on something - or at least, he thought of himself as LEGENDARY, in all capital letters. "THEY REALLY MUST REARRANGE THESE FIXTURES," Haohmaru muttered to himself as he tilted his head away from a rack of equipment, only to be forced to duck as a large falcon passed over him from behind. "AND INCREASE THEIR PEST-CONTROL MEASURES, AS WELL." Despite his quiet (for him) complaints, the samurai walked on. "Oh, there you are, Haohmaru ..." Morrigan sidled up to her teammate. "Did you hear that we have a match tonight?" "NOT SO FAR," the spiky-haired samurai admitted, "BUT I WAS DELAYED IN ARRIVING BY ICE ON THE ROADS." "Icy roads in July?" The succubus blinked in surprise. "ONLY THE ACCESS ROADS UNDER THE PARKING LOTS," Haohmaru clarified. "PERHAPS THERE WAS A LEAK." Running footsteps approached from the distance as Haohmaru and Morrigan reached a cross-corridor, and a feminine voice called out, "Haohmaru-san!!" Samurai and succubus paused, looking at each other, then at the white-and-red- robed figure of the young woman who came to a halt in front of them. "Haohmaru-san, I was told you were here, but ..." She trailed off, blue eyes going wide and hand going to the hilt of her sword as she stared at Morrigan. "Mamahaha didn't see *you*, spawn of darkness." Morrigan raised an eyebrow. Haohmaru just looked baffled. "HAVE WE MET, FAIR MAIDEN?" The young woman took a step back. "You don't remember ... ?" "WERE YOU ALSO PROMISED TO ME IN MARRIAGE?" "Like that tiger-girl was?" Morrigan wondered, stepping forward and bending down to study the young woman. "Hmmmm, if that's your claim, you should just go home ... you're very pretty, I'm sure you could find someone interested in you." The girl traced a sigil in the air as though to ward Morrigan off. "Haohmaru-san, it's *me*, Nakoruru! We fought together against Amakusa and Mizuki ... have you forgotten?" "HMMMMMM ..." Haohmaru tapped his chin. "AH, YES. THE BARBARIAN PRIESTESS OF THE NORTH." He looked at Morrigan. "CONCERN YOURSELF NOT WITH HER, MY ALLY; HER SKILLS ARE OF LITTLE IMPORT." Nakoruru's jaw dropped, and she took another two steps back. "Haohmaru- san, why ... why are you allied with this hellspawn?" "Hellspawn?" Morrigan looked hurt as she straightened up. "I should be flattered to be called that by an unsullied maiden like yourself. Still, if you're from his time -" She casually indicated Haohmaru. "- that would explain your low standards. I could show you ..." "Stay back!" Nakoruru held out her empty hand, eyes narrowing. "Whatever spell you've placed on him -" "I AM UNDER NO SPELL, BARBARIAN GIRL-CHILD," Haohmaru informed her. "SHE AND I ARE ALLIES OF CONVENIENCE. NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE US, WE HAVE A MATCH TO PREPARE FOR." Haohmaru turned around as another girl, accompanied by a wolf and an ice crystal, raced up behind him and Morrigan. "ANOTHER BARBARIAN?" he wondered aloud, eyeing her blue-and-white clothing. "Watch the 'barbarian' stuff, samurai!" snapped the new arrival, adopting a ready stance identical to Nakoruru's. "We weren't the ones trying to invade your homeland!" "Enough, Rimururu," Nakoruru interjected as the large brown-and-grey hawk returned to alight on her shoulder. "Haohmaru-san, please forgive my sister's impetuousness." Haohmaru shrugged casually. "IT IS OF NO GREAT IMPORT TO MYSELF WHAT A BARBARIAN CHILD MAY WISH TO SAY. NOW WE MUST BE OFF, FOR A LEGEND SUCH AS MYSELF AWAITS A NEW BATTLE. FARE THEE WELL, DAUGHTERS OF THE NORTHERN LANDS." The samurai re-shouldered his sword and turned the corner, walking off; Morrigan followed, but not without taking a long, considering look at Nakoruru. "So where *did* you run into that girl before?" Morrigan asked as she caught up with Haohmaru again. "SHE SPOKE CORRECTLY OF TWO OF MY FORMER FOES ... I REMEMBER HER CHANTING PRAYERS IN THE LANGUAGE OF HER PEOPLE DURING MY FINAL BATTLES WITH THEM. BE NOT CONCERNED WITH HER; HER PEOPLE ARE AN UNCIVILIZED AND UGLY FOLK WHO INHABITED THE NORTHERNMOST ISLANDS OF JAPAN IN MY TIME, ALL BUT EXTINCT NOW." "I certainly wouldn't call *her* ugly," Morrigan murmured. "Quite pretty, in fact ... and the way she reacts to me is almost adorable in its way. Well," she stretched her arms over her head, "if they're new in Ultra we'll undoubtably run into them again." - = - = - = - = - "And we're just moments away from our Hardcore title defense," announced Hiroshi, "between the Spanish nutcase Vega and one of Ultra's newest competitors, Bulleta B. Hood!" "Biased much?" remarked Daisuke. "Vega's shown a predilection for trying to skin his most attractive opponents, and scuttlebutt has it that Nabiki Tendou didn't want him in the lineup for next week's Reboot pay-per-view, but he's one of eight contenders for this season's Internet championship." "The brackets for Reboot have already been determined," Hiroshi continued, "and we'll be showing you the initial set-up later on tonight's show, but for now, it's time for the blood to flow! Introducing first, from the bull-fighting arenas of Barcelona and the underground street-fighter circuits, the man in the iron mask with the steel claw, Vega!!" The elegant matador strutted down the ramp, preening for the crowds as he carried the renovated Hardcore belt on his shoulder. He tossed the belt over the ropes, then leapt nimbly to the apron's edge and somersaulted into the ring after it; ignoring the jeers of the fans, he saluted them with his claw before affixing his mask over his face. "And ..." Hiroshi hesitated briefly, remembering Bulleta's debut match. "From parts unknown, but reportedly over the river and through the woods, please give a warm Ultra welcome to Bulleta!" "o/~ La la la la la, o/~" sang Bulleta as she skipped down the ramp, waving to the fans with her puppy bounding along at her heels, the two of them pausing outside the ring. "Oooh, what a sharp claw you have!" Vega raised his weapon, gazing at his opponent between the blades as they caught the light. "The better to defeat you with, my dear." ][ HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP ][ VEGA vs. BULLETA ][ FIGHT! Bulleta hopped up the steps and slipped between the ropes, keeping her napkin-covered picnic basket close at hand. "I *luuuv* that belt you were carrying," she said, beaming as she looked over at the shiny floral "Beautiful Championship" belt. "If you're not using it, could I have it?" "It belongs only in the hands of such a beautiful warrior as myself," was Vega's unflappable reply. "It is not for a child like yourself to carry, only to behold from afar." "Awwwwww," whined Bulleta. "I'll give you an apple for it!" Vega hesitated as Bulleta pulled an apple out of her basket and offered it to him. "It is worth far more than a single apple." "I've got lots more in here ... how many do you want?" Bulleta tilted her basket, and about two dozen apples spilled out, scattering across the ring. Then she smiled, her eyes glinting in the harsh light of the ring lamps ... and the fallen apples exploded into flames, catching Vega in the midst of the inferno. Bulleta's giggles and the short-lived roar of flames almost drowned out Vega's startled exclamation, but the technical booth bleeped out what they heard of his cursing. "That's not very nice language!" sing-songed Bulleta as the flames died, leaving Vega patting out a few embers which had lodged in his hip-length braided hair. "I'm gonna have to punish you for it!" Hiroshi's jaw was hanging open as he watched from the relative safety of the announcers' table. "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't believe this - Bulleta just brought a whole new meaning to the phrase 'baked apples,' and - OH MY GOD!" He dove underneath the table, yanking Daisuke with him as the red-hooded fighter pulled a grenade out of her basket, yanked the pin out, and threw the explosive at Vega. "Gaaah!!" The Spanish ninja was flung into the ropes by the force of the explosion, and he kept leaning against them as he tried to catch his breath. "What kind of little girl are you?!" Bulleta pulled the pin on another grenade. "One who learned how to defend herself after Grandma got eaten up by a big nasty wolf! Here!" She lobbed the grenade, and it went off practically in Vega's face. "We've got one seriously Hardcore title match going here," Daisuke reported, peeking out over the edge of the announcers' table in time to see Vega catapulted over the top rope to land heavily on the floor. "I don't know who told Bulleta about the Hardcore division, but it looks like she's found her -" He dodged again as Bulleta kicked a landmine off the edge of the ring, and it exploded practically on top of Vega ... except that the Spanish ninja managed to scramble out of its way, then back to his feet after the mine had exploded. "I can't believe Vega's still in one piece," added Hiroshi as he hesitantly resumed his seat, "and it looks like he's not taking any chances, because he's heading for the hills with Bulleta in hot pursuit! Hardcore matches can go anywhere in the UltraDome, KOs count anywhere and you can use anything you can pick up ..." He swallowed. "Considering that neither of those grenades killed Vega, the referee seems to be allowing them, but how long can Vega last against that kind of firepower? - Someone get a camera after those two!" Vega stumbled into the backstage area, moving as fast as he could and occasionally putting a hand on the wall to steady himself. "This isn't happening," he told himself. "That little girl didn't just -" "Fire in the hooo-ooole!" laughed Bulleta as she hefted a rocket launcher, lining up a shot on Vega. "C'mon, don't run away!" Vega's eyes widened behind his mask as the rocket roared towards him, but he had enough presence of mind to dive to the ground and let it pass over his head, detonating against the side of a soda machine. Shredded aluminum and plastic and flash-cooked soft drinks splattered down the hallway, forcing Vega to pay attention to both his footing and the girl behind him as he resumed his panicked flight. "What's all the noise out -" Zell took one look at the approaching Hardcore match and dived back into his and Selphie's locker room, locking the door and barricading it with the heaviest object he could move. Vega ran past regardless, now leaving a trail of soda-sticky footprints which Bulleta could have followed with her eyes closed. Laughing gleefully, Bulleta pulled a hunting knife out of her basket and flung it at Vega; her aim was bad enough - or good enough - that instead of sinking into his back, it whistled past his ear, severing a few stray strands of hair before thunking solidly into a door that had just opened. Li Ping, eyeing the three inches of steel that showed on his side of the door, decided not to go to the bathroom just yet. Finally, Bulleta reached an intersection where the trail simply stopped. "Where'd you go?" she asked innocently, looking ahead, then to her right, then to her left. "Come out, come out, wherever you are ... ! I won't hurt you much!" A tile fell out of the ceiling. "Ah HAH!" exclaimed Bulleta, running down to look up into the opening. "You must be up in there!" She reached into her basket again. She didn't see or hear Vega drop to the ground behind her, having dislodged one ceiling tile and then backtracked to set a proper ambush, but she saw the claws that pierced her cloak. "EEEEEK!!!!" She threw up her hands in surprise, two apples falling out of her basket. "Not *again!*" Vega backflipped away in dismay and to avoid the explosion; Bulleta just dashed forward a few steps before turning to face him again. "What kind of fighter uses - no, never mind." He braced himself to attack ... then took two steps backwards and bolted down the cross-corridor, heading for the nearest fire door. "Hey, come back, I'm not done playing with you!" Bulleta gave chase, nearly crashing into the referee as he caught up with them. On the concourse, Jack peered at the compact color television he'd set up under the counter. "I know that hallway," he thought out loud. "Now where was it again ..." Somewhere down the concourse, a door slammed open as Vega plowed through it and looked around, then leapt over a missile that skimmed along just above the ground. The explosion got everyone's attention, and most of the vendors either started securing their merchandise or just bolted. Jack, never noted for being especially sane, leaned out over the counter of his booth to take a look at what was going on. "Red's got some spunk," he noted, "doesn't she, Mr. Duck?" Mr. Duck failed to reply, and Jack decided his companion was hiding under the T-shirts. "Mr. Lysias!" Vega slid to a halt in front of the concession stand. "You have to stop this match, it's completely insane! How am I supposed to fight HER?!" "Sorry, can't help you," Jack shrugged. "No outside interference, even in a Hardcore match." "I don't care about the disqualification, I -" A merry laugh interrupted him, and Vega turned to see Bulleta cocking an Uzi. "Oh my God ..." "See ya later!" Bulleta aimed and pulled the trigger, laughing as the sound of gunfire split the air. Jack's jaw hit the floor, followed immediately by the rest of him as he took defensive action, stray bullets peppering his stall and laying waste to his merchandise. "BULLETA!" he shouted. "There's bystanders around here, kid! Lay off the heavy artillery, willya?" Bulleta just giggled again, running up to Vega's fallen body and kicking him in the crotch, eliciting a groan of pain as the ninja curled into a fetal position to protect his privates. Jack stood up again, reaching over the counter to grasp Bulleta's shoulder. "Hey, kid, you've -" She spun around, Uzi levelled. The last thing Jack noticed before she fired was the unholy gleam that filled Bulleta's eyes. "OH MY GOD!!" shouted Hiroshi in the arena (to be dutifully replayed through Jack's TV). "She killed Jack! Ultra's just lost its head booker, what are we gonna do?!" Vega finally mustered the strength to sit up, bringing him eye-to-eye with Bulleta, and he hissed like the snake whose image was tattooed over much of his body. Bulleta just stabbed at him - and he blocked with his claw. "Great, you can fight back," she laughed. "This won't be so boring now!" "You're no ordinary girl," Vega remarked as he tried to force Bulleta back, his claw's three blades grinding against her knife's one, giving him the opportunity to get back to his feet. "I don't know how you got into this federation, but -" "It doesn't matter how I got into this federation!" exclaimed Bulleta, leaping back and letting her knife fall to the ground. "I'm gonna get that belt of yours!" With a snarl, Vega leapt high into the air; he would later remember seeing that for a man who'd just been gunned down, Jack Lysias didn't seem to be lying in the requisite pool of his own blood. Bulleta's blood was more on his mind at the time ... and then superceded by the Molotov cocktail she shook up, and he was bathed in flames for at least the second time that evening. "C'mon, get up!" Bulleta kicked Vega again, but he didn't move. "I *said*, get up!! I'll *make* you get up, I'm not done with you yet!" A pair of strong arms encircled Bulleta, pinning her arms at her sides and lifting her off the ground. "He's unconscious," snapped Tarou as he restrained Bulleta. "Let the referee make the count!" "Lemme go!" shrieked Bulleta, struggling and kicking in Tarou's grasp. "I'm not finished!" "Yes you *are*," Tarou growled as the referee finished a hasty ten- count. "You've won. The belt's yours." He set Bulleta back down as the referee handed over the still-redecorated Hardcore belt. "I won? I really *won*?" giggled Bulleta, her innocent demeanor snapping back into place as she hugged the belt to her chest. "YAY!!!" - - - - - - - - - Back in the arena, Hiroshi and Daisuke exchanged looks. "Well," said Hiroshi slowly, "it looks like we have a brand new Hardcore champion." "That we do," agreed Daisuke. "And I thought *Vega* was vicious." "Too right ..." Hiroshi shook his head. "Not even a sadist like Vega deserves to get his ass kicked off and handed to him like that. We've got EMTs hurrying to the scene to check on Vega and Jack; I can only hope that Jack Lysias was as resilient under Bulleta's weaponry as Vega seemed to be." "We'll hear from the infirmary in a little while," supplied Daisuke, "and at that point we'll get a full medical report on the evening's casualties so far." Hiroshi nodded. "Coming up next, we've got a match which is going to be at least as heavy-hitting as the Hardcore title match, because nine Omega division fighters are going into a brand new type of elimination match, one which was set up and will be personally monitored by our own Washuu Hakubi: an Omega Gauntlet Elimination match!" Daisuke took over. "The rules are simple. All of the participating fighters will begin in a randomly-selected Omega battle location, and the fight will begin as a battle royal. After two fighters have been eliminated, one or more portals will open and all remaining fighters must proceed through them to the next location. Additional fighters may be eliminated after the portals are opened, but if any fighter delays in going through the portal for more than ninety seconds, the portals will close and the stragglers will also be eliminated. Each battlefield will be different, with a varying assortment of environmental features -" "And *hazards*," Hiroshi emphasized. "- which the fighters must account for on the run, as it were. After entering the new location, two more fighters must be eliminated before the portals open to the next battlefield, and so on until only one fighter remains." "And the winner of this match," added Hiroshi, "will become the number- one contender for the next Omega championship match!" "Except that Yuffie's in this match," noted Daisuke. "What if she wins? She can't be the number-one contender against herself." "My understanding is that if Yuffie should manage to win this match, she will be allowed to waive the next challenge for her title without forfeiting the belt, so she definitely has an interest in winning this one." Hiroshi looked back at the camera. "Our technical staff is still setting up for the Omega Gauntlet Elimination match, randomizing the arena selection and calibrating the portal generators, so while we're waiting, here's the line-up of competitors for Ultra Reboot 4.0!" "Four of next week's competitors are appearing in action tonight," stated Daisuke. "Ash and Vega have already had their respective matches, and we hold high hopes that they'll be back in fighting form by this time next week; Duo, as mentioned earlier, will be fighting in this season's Reboot as well, as will Yaga, whose match is coming up later tonight." "And then, there are the fighters who aren't appearing tonight!" added Hiroshi. "All of them are tag-team fighters, which may put them at a disadvantage in one-on-one action. We've got Jessie, Selphie, and *both* members of Team Clow, Li Shaoran and Sakura Kinomoto! Here's what the tournament bracket will look like:" Jessie \ >-------\ Vega / \ >-------\ Li Shaoran \ / \ >-------/ \ Ash / \ >========== Selphie \ / >-------\ / Duo / \ / >-------/ Yaga \ / >-------/ Sakura Ki. / "When you look at it that way ..." Daisuke started. "You know we're going to have a Reboot that will knock your socks off and paint your toenails!" Hiroshi jumped in. "No, it looks like we're going to have some awful mismatches. Jessie had better *hope* Vega's still weakened from the thrashing Bulleta gave him or she's never going to get out of that match with her skin intact, Selphie's magic is going to give her a major advantage over Duo's hand-to-hand combat, and all Yaga has to do to beat Sakura is to keep her from using any of her Clow cards." "Odds mean *nothing* in Ultra!" declared Hiroshi with a Saikyou-style air of confidence that would have inspired anyone except Daisuke. "If there's one thing I've learned from almost a year and a half of watching Ultra, it's that no matter how steep the odds are, they can always be defied and beaten!" "Except when they defy and beat you instead." "ANYWAY!" Undaunted, Hiroshi's spirits kept running high as he continued, "The fated hour is at hand, and we're ready to take you live to the first battlefield in our Omega Elimination Gauntlet! Due to the nature of this match, both of our Omega referees, Krillin and Ifurita, are adjudicating this match, so let's take you straight to the first battlezone! Good luck to every fighter in our Omega division, because I GUARANTEE that you will need it!" - = - = - = - = - Krillin and Ifurita hovered over the desert, surveying the landscape for any early signs of trouble. "All is clear," Ifurita uttered. "The match may commence immediately." In response to her transmission, nine separate portals opened, arranged in a wide circle, and a different fighter emerged from each of them. "OOOSHA!!!" whooped Dan as he rose to a standing position after rolling out of his portal. "Stone Cold Dan Hibiki will prevail! OYAJIIIII!!!" ][ OMEGA ELIMINATION GAUNTLET ][ DAN HIBIKI vs. DARK SCHNEIDER vs. GALLY vs. LINA INVERSE vs. NAGA vs. SEPHIROTH vs. SHOCKWAVE ALBERTO vs. ULTRAMAN vs. YUFFIE ][ FIGHT! Dan's declaration of his impending victory was answered by a powerful blast of kinetic force, a Bolt 3 spell, a Fire spell, and five cases of overwhelming indifference. "Oyajiiii ..." Dan staggered off, stunned but not yet unconscious. After that, things got chaotic. Dark Schneider turned to his left, spraying the energy missiles of his Anthem spell amongst the nearest four opponents; Naga and Yuffie yelped simultaneously, Sephiroth started giving the Exploder Wizard a deadly glower as he regained his footing, and Ultraman - human in size - took to the air before he was struck as well. On the other side of the circle, Lina whipped a pair of Fireballs at Alberto, who dodged one and countered the other with a powerful shockwave; the missed Fireball swerved a little bit to slam into Gally, engulfing her in a flaming explosion. "Oh, man," sighed Krillin. "This is gonna get messy ... Ifurita, keep in touch." "Affirmative." The two referees flew in opposite directions as the fracas below them began to spread out. Ultraman flew up about half a kilometer above the ground, then paused and hovered to look for anyone pursuing him. He knew this match was likely to be a protracted battle, but as long as the eliminations came quickly, he stood a chance of being able to continue up until the end of the match. He paused to listen to the human voice in a corner of his alien psyche, then descended again, selecting his first opponent. Dark Schneider, despite forcing Ultraman to withdraw for the moment, quickly found that he had his hands full as Sephiroth, Yuffie, and Naga were all ganging up on him in retaliation for his pre-emptive strike. Spells and blades filled the air between them, with Darshu concentrating almost entirely on defense and counter-attacks; the uncoordinated nature of his opponents' mass offense gave him quite a few openings to land his own shots, but he couldn't go completely on the offensive. "All right, big guy, come and get it!" Yuffie exclaimed as she activated one of her summoning materia and faded out of sight. The skies clouded over in the blink of an eye, and for a brief moment, the combat paused as the participants looked up to see a swirling vortex in the midst of the storm ... and the massive dragon that emerged from it. With a vehement oath, Dark Schneider conjured his most powerful force field to protect himself; he saw Sephiroth establishing a similar barrier, but Naga was still unprotected when Bahamut's breath ravaged the three of them. Staggering woozily, Naga teetered away ... only to be struck to the ground by Darshu's Barvolt. Lina had a brief window of opportunity to notice this. (They're still working together?) she wondered as she cast Raywing, one of Alberto's blasts hurling her backwards but not doing any damage through the airy barrier. (Someone's going to have to put a stop to *that* - and Naga's already down. Nice work,) she reluctantly admitted to herself before pointing at her own opponents. "FLARE ARROW!!" Fiery javelins lanced out from her hands, skimming out of the Raywing bubble as though it wasn't there and showering down on Gally and Alberto, who were already engaged in their own struggle for superiority. Yuffie was trying to get the drop on Sephiroth while Dark Schneider strove to keep the silver-haired swordsman's attention; two shouts and a pair of actinic blue-white energy pulses distracted the kunoichi, although neither of the bolts actually struck her. Sephiroth glanced up at the returning form of Ultraman once and continued his duel of swords and sorcery with Dark Schneider, keeping the warlock thoroughly occupied - and, intentionally or otherwise, forcing Yuffie to fend for herself. "Aw, great," moaned Yuffie as she looked up at the silver-and-red warrior of light. "If he goes giant-sized, I am *so* cooked -" She raised her weapon, focusing on one of the materia embedded in it, and unleashed a Hold spell on Ultraman, who seemingly skidded to a halt in mid-air. "OKAY!!" cheered Yuffie, readying another spell. "Eat this, Ultra-bozo! Bio 2!" With another mighty oath, Dark Schneider finally drew his own sword and smashed Sephiroth's Masamune away from its path towards his neck. "You're not too shabby," he sneered at Sephiroth, "but you're still no match for me when it comes to swordsmanship *and* sorcery." Sephiroth just looked mildly bored as he brought his sword back into attack position. "With your pet ninja distracted," he pointed out, "it is *you* who are no match for me. Ice 3." A massive crystal of ice materialized around Dark Schneider, who shattered it with the spiraling flames of an Archenemy spell. "Too slow!" roared the white-maned sorcerer as he lunged at Sephiroth, swinging at the SOLDIER's unprotected neck. Sephiroth simply ducked under the swing and drove Masamune's pommel into Dark Schneider's solar plexus, forcibly expelling the air from his lungs. "Sleep," intoned Sephiroth, invoking one of his own spell materia. "Go to hell," rasped Dark Schneider, fighting against the crystallized enchantment. "Exodus." Flames engulfed Dark Schneider's body, actually forcing Sephiroth to leap back just before the Exploder Wizard took off like a rocket, blasting straight up and leaving a patch of smoldering glass where he had crouched just seconds before, then swinging back down to smash into Sephiroth with the force of heaven's wrath. Masamune landed several yards away, with its master's body falling back to the sand even further. "Two eliminations," declared the airborne Ifurita, loudly enough to be heard by every fighter in the desert who was still awake to hear her. "Portal to next battle zone now opening." "See ya later, suckers!" shouted Yuffie as she bolted for the expanding blue disk, diving through it head-first. "OYAJIIIIII!!!!" Dan Hibiki immediately followed her through, with Shockwave Alberto breaking off from his running fight against both Gally and Lina to give chase. "You're not getting away!" The Battle Angel, not even winded yet from the fight, was the next fighter through the portal. "He took *Sephiroth* down?" Lina wondered out loud as she flew over to the portal, looking around the battlefield as Dark Schneider landed and terminated his spell, visibly gasping from the effort that had taken. Ultraman was further away, on his hands and knees; besides the three of them, only the referees remained. "I don't believe it ..." She paused, then raised her hands and began chanting. "Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond flowing blood ..." "Sixty seconds," Krillin reminded her as he dove past her and through the portal, leaving Ifurita behind to supervise the departures and watch for additional eliminations. "Buried in the flow of time, in thy great name I pledge myself to darkness ..." (This is too perfect,) Lina thought with a smile as she continued chanting. (Dark Schneider's weakened, so I can take him and Ultraman out of the fight with one shot before they can recover.) "All the fools who stand in our way will -" Ultraman had struggled back to his feet while Lina was prematurely admiring her triumph and absorbed in her spellcasting, and it was his energy blast that hurled Lina back on her rear end, disrupting her concentration. Dark Schneider looked over his shoulder at the alien warrior, then heaved himself to his feet and forced himself to head for the portal. "Good shot," he grunted. "I might save you for last ... so long, ya sap!" The silver-skinned warrior of light tried to give chase, but the poisonous effects of Yuffie's spell were still weakening him, effectively slowing him to a fast walk. On the other side of the portal, Lina was getting back to her feet as well, shaking her head to clear it. "Thirty seconds," intoned Ifurita as she hovered just above the portal's edge, looking alternately between Ultraman and Lina. Lina looked between the portal and her remaining opponent, then hurled herself through the shimmering blue disk. Ultraman nodded as though in satisfaction, then waved Ifurita through. "The portal will close in twenty seconds," Ifurita reminded him as she descended and stepped through the hole in space and time after Lina. Finally alone, Ultraman's form shimmered and became pure radiance, then transformed into a pure white aura surrounding a form that was human in shape, but completely concealed from view. The figure reached to its chest, as though taking hold of some item of jewelry ... and then Ultraman reappeared, and flew through the portal bare seconds before it irised shut and disappeared. Krillin glanced at the nearest UltraCam pod, and nodded. "All remaining fighters have arrived!" he shouted, for the fighters' benefit as well as the viewing audience back on Earth. "Two eliminations and we move again!" This time, it was Lina and Ultraman who were the targets of multiple attacks. If the portal had still been there, Ultraman would have fallen back through it, but in its absence he careened into a dark, damp surface of rough rock and slumped to the ground, eyes flickering. Lina was less fortunate; buffeted by shockwaves, explosions, and spells, she collapsed in a heap where she stood. "Oh yeah!" whooped Yuffie, raising her weapon high. "We RULE!" Shockwave Alberto turned to face her, flexing his hands. "'We' rule? Did I hear you right, little girl?" "Yeah," Yuffie riposted, sticking her tongue out. "But obviously you're not part of that 'we,' 'cause you just suck!" Alberto wrapped his fist in an explosive blast of kinetic energy, and one punch later, Yuffie was stretched out on the ground. "Remember what that feels like," scoffed the criminal warrior, "because that's what's going to happen when I face you for the title." Krillin looked up from his examination of Lina's fallen form as he heard the whipcrack sound of Alberto's shockwave punch. "Already? Man ..." He waved to Ifurita, who nodded and sent the signal to open the next portal; Ultraman had staggered back to his feet before Krillin could reach Lina, and now he took off after Alberto. "Doushita doushita!!" Dan rolled off a high ledge, sailing through the air and landing squarely on Gally's back. "Dan Dan Noogie!" The Battle Angel bent forward, cringing at the friction against her temple, then reached up and pulled the Saikyou-ryuu martial artist off of her back, slamming him to the ground. She was just as glad to detect the portal opening already; this rocky island in the middle of a stormy sea was too wet for her taste, particularly with the damage she'd already taken in the desert area. A dozen or so meters away, Ultraman and Alberto clashed, trading energy blasts and physical blows as each sought to pummel the other into unconsciousness. "I wish I had the time to repeat our last encounter," hissed Alberto, "but time and portals wait for no man!" He reared back, and slammed another explosive punch into Ultraman's chest, precisely striking the glowing blue pendant. The pendant immediately began to flash red as Ultraman staggered backwards, but the alien warrior wasn't ready to give up yet; he crossed his arms in front of the pendant as though to protect it, then snapped his hands forward and out to the sides, and a golden arc of energy blasted Shockwave Alberto in the back, knocking him headlong to the ground. "Ifurita!" Krillin shouted over a crack of thunder, "Is the portal open yet? I don't see it!" "The portal has opened," Ifurita shouted back. "Eighty-three seconds to closing." "Can't you at least tell us where it is?!" shouted Gally. "I can't get a fix on it in these conditions!" A flash of light and a titanic clap of thunder stunned all of them, as a thunderbolt connected sea and sky just off the shore of the rocky island they were all on. Ultraman was the first to recover, his pendant strobing between red and blue so fast that it almost seemed to be glowing a solid purple. He looked around frantically as the other fighters began getting to their feet, then took flight, leading the way through the gateway halfway up the face of a sheer cliff. "Terrific," muttered Gally as she saw Ultraman go. "It's gonna take us too long to get through there ..." "My contact with Washuu has been scrambled," Ifurita reported quickly to Krillin. "Residual charges from that stroke of lightning -" "I get the idea," Krillin interrupted, scouting the island. Dark Schneider was already flying towards the portal himself, but most of the other non-eliminated fighters were still regaining their bearings. "Hurry it up!" he shouted, and was rewarded by the sight of a still-off-balance Dan scooping up Gally and leaping for the interdimensional gate. Alberto was the last to make his way for the portal, followed only by the two referees. The fighting had already resumed by the time Krillin and Ifurita emerged, but this was visibly the most dangerous arena yet: the caldera of a live volcano, basalt columns rising out of the lava providing the only available footing. A trio of kicks delivered by Shockwave Alberto sent Ultraman flying off the edge of the largest plateau, the one where all of the fighters had been deposited by the portal; mustering the last of his energy, Ultraman simply took flight at top speed, retreating from the battle. Ifurita followed him without a word, disappearing over the edge of the volcano's mouth. Gally and Dan were facing off with Dark Schneider, the cyborg's Damascus blade reflecting the hellish glow of the sea of lava beneath their battleground. Dark Schneider didn't wait for either of them to attack, but made the first move himself, unleashing a Gunsnroh spell and igniting a wall of fire that caught both of his opponents at once; the wall of fire sent Dan flying, and Krillin dove to catch him before his scorched and nearly- unconscious body hit the lava. Gally fared better, although she was still damaged by the firewall, and charged at Dark Schneider with all of her strength, intending to send him to the same fate as Dan had nearly met with. Instead, she ran right into his grasp, the sorcerer's hand closing around Gally's neck and lifting her up off the ground. "Good try," Dark Schneider smirked at the struggling cyborg - then released her with a howl as her blade slipped under his armor and dug into his shoulder. "You're going down, Dark Schneider," promised Gally as she glared up at him. "I don't care what it takes ... but I'm going to beat you." A crimson blast of power blindsided both of them; Dark Schneider retained enough presence of mind to cast Raven and keep himself aloft, but Gally's limp form plummeted towards the lava with no way to halt her descent - until Krillin caught her, just above the molten rock, and flew her to a portal that was just above the lava. Ifurita finally glided back into view, scouting for any surviving fighters. "Ultraman has also been eliminated, and the portal to the next zone has opened," she reported to those who could still hear her voice. "Ninety seconds remain from now before it closes." The super-powered criminal and the sorcerer of exploding fire faced off. "Do we finish it here," Alberto asked, "or head for the next battle zone?" Dark Schneider shrugged. "I prefer this battleground ... AWAKEN, EFREET!!" He raised his sword, a crimson aura beginning to radiate from the blade as a much larger form started to take shape behind him. "Is that your best?" sneered Alberto, gathering energy for his most powerful attack, power warping around his body. The white-haired sorcerer just smiled, showing all his teeth, and lowered the sword to point directly at Alberto; the partially formed fire elemental obeyed the wordless command to attack, and a wall of flames roared towards Shockwave Alberto. Alberto released his own powerful blast in turn, deflecting the flames and counter-attacking in one shot - but the Efreet moved forward, absorbing the shockwave and allowing Dark Schneider to make the final destructive statement of the battle. "SODOM!!" A row of crescent-shaped blades of pure magical energy manifested, flying towards Alberto; the criminal dove to one side, taking shelter behind an outcropping of rock - and giving Dark Schneider the chance he needed to make his way for the portal, leaving Efreet to continue harrying his opponent. However, Ifurita was waiting next to the portal, and held up a hand to stop Dark Schneider. "Out of my way," growled the warlock. "It is unnecessary," Ifurita replied emotionlessly, watching as Alberto tried to drive Efreet off. "If your last opponent is unable to reach the portal in time, then it is unnecessary to go through to the next battle zone." Dark Schneider glanced back at Efreet and Alberto. "How much time?" "Thirty-five seconds." A series of shockwaves battered the fire elemental, but Alberto was clearly running out of steam, his resources taxed to the limit by the running battle. Despite the impacts, Efreet continued battling, obeying the will of its master; one flaming punch connected solidly, which was all it took to lay the criminal combatant out flat. Alberto fell to the rocky ground, not moving. "The last fighter has been eliminated," declared Ifurita, loudly enough for the UltraCams to pick up. "The Omega Elimination Gauntlet match has been won by Dark Schneider." - - - - - - - - - When the feed cut back to the UltraDome, the crowds were cheering - not for Dark Schneider, but for all of the fighters, and soon it was easy to pick out a single chant shared by thousands: "O-ME-GA!! O-ME-GA!! O-ME-GA!!" "Big props to the entire Omega division," Hiroshi exclaimed as the camera light came on, "and a great big congratulations to all of the fighters who took part in our first ever Elimination Gauntlet match, but especially to our new number-one contender for the Omega belt, Dark Schneider!!" "He was already the number-one contender," Daisuke corrected his partner. He continued, "Those of you who were paying attention at home may have noticed the referees going above and beyond the call of duty during this match. Krillin's and Ifurita's instructions were only to intervene when it was clear that a fighter was clearly out of the battle, such as a fighter who couldn't fly being faced with a fall into the lava in this case. Not to worry, folks, all your Omega favorites will be back in action in two weeks' time!" "We'll be bringing you the last Gamma match of the night in a few minutes, to be followed by two separate Lambda matches," Daisuke picked up, "but first it's time for the medical report. So, live from the infirmary, we give you Jack Lysias." - = - = - = - = - Jack was reclining casually on one of the beds in the infirmary, with a card table set up next to it to hold some of the things he normally kept in his office. "Hey, all you crazy Ultra fans!" he grinned, waving to the camera. "As you can see, reports of my untimely demise have been hugely blown out of proportion, but thanks to the tender loving care of our medical staff, I should be back on my feet and fit for duty in no time! Now, as far as the real fighters go ..." He sat up. "Ash just has a nasty headache, but Tifa's going to need a little longer to recover -" He turned to call out to someone off-camera. "That means you let her rest, Bean!" "Shutcher mouth, Jack!" Bean called back good-naturedly before being shushed by someone else. Jack grinned like a maniac, turning back to the camera. "As for Vega ... well, that has something to do with the reason why I'm talking to you right now. Y'see, Bulleta's weapons look deadly, but for some reason or other, they're no more lethal than some of the ki techniques our other fighters use. Possibly except for the knives, but compared to playing around with guns and bombs, that's practically nothing. So Vega has a somewhat painful recovery ahead of him, but he should be in adequate shape to fight at Reboot next week. That just leaves one person to worry about: The Great Yaga." He picked up what looked like a medical report. "I have here the results from Yaga's recent prostate exam ..." In one of the dressing rooms, Yaga gave his monitor a look that should have turned it into a smoking ruin. "... and the good news is, despite his advancing age Yaga's manliness is in fine shape." Jack smirked. "In other words, Bean ... kicking him in the balls ought to work really well if you want to knock down his defenses." "Gotcha," Bean called out again from off-camera. "And that's the report from the infirmary," Jack finished. "Now get your butt out there, Bean, you're up next!" "All right already!" The camera panned right, skipping past a young girl with blonde hair sitting behind Jack's table, to show Bean standing up from his seat next to Tifa's bed. "I gotta go, sweetheart. You stay here and don't worry, okay?" Tifa, her midriff wrapped heavily in bandages under the hospital gown, smiled and gave Bean a thumbs-up. "You'll do fine out there against Yaga. Go get him." "You bet!" Bean headed for the door at a fast walk, leaving the cameraman to zoom in on Tifa's face before the feed was cut. - = - = - = - = - "I'm glad to hear Tifa's going to be all right," Hiroshi commented to his partner. "That should be a load off Bean's mind, which probably means he'll have an easier time against Yaga." "No argument there," Daisuke agreed. "Still, Yaga's contract lets him dictate the terms of one match of his choice any night, and I can't believe he's not pulling that string tonight. Of course, there's still Team Enlightenment's match against a pair of as-yet-unknown challengers." "But Yaga's not the sort to willingly book himself or any of his stablemates against an unknown opponent!" pointed out Hiroshi. "No, I expect we're going to see Yaga's handiwork any minute now -" The sound of an engine revving gave way to the beginning of the rock song that was Bean's entrance theme, and Hiroshi's gaze snapped across to the stage at the top of the ramp. "Here comes Bean Bandit, and WHOA!! Ladies, look out!" Bean Bandit was indeed striding down the ring, but instead of wearing his customary leather jacket, his upper body was clad in a plain white T-shirt that strained to cover his well-muscled frame. Appreciative squeals of delight could be heard from many of the female members of the audience, particularly those waving signs such as [TAKE ME FOR A RIDE, BEAN!!] or [THE ROADBUSTER IS A HOT ROD!!], although the more off-color signs were avoided by the cameras that panned across the crowd. Reaching the bottom of the ramp, Bean swung himself into the ring and turned to await his opponent. "And from the annals of Japanese pro-wrestling history ..." Hiroshi paused to blink at the teleprompter, then continued, "The Great Yaga!" Apparently someone had finally sorted out Yaga's tastes in entrance music, because a neo-traditional Japanese rock ballad began playing as the former wrestler strode out onto the stage, microphone in hand. "Thank you, cut the music!" barked Yaga into the mic, and obligingly, the music stopped. "What could Yaga possibly have to say?" wondered Hiroshi. Yaga didn't give Daisuke a chance to reply. "Mr. Bean Bandit ... you're probably wondering why I arranged a match for myself against a man like you." Bean shrugged and caught the microphone tossed to him by a stagehand. "The thought crossed my mind, but Jack said it was *his* idea." A laugh ran through the crowd. Yaga tried not to scowl. "It was his suggestion, but -" He gestured at Bean. "It was at *my* insistence that you not wear your normal ring gear. I know about your armored jacket, of course, and while you may need armor against some of the fighters in this federation, it would be unfair against another human, wouldn't it?" "Yeah, I don't need my jacket against a washed-up former wrestler," conceded Bean. "Oh, good to hear your prostate exam came back okay ..." The crowd in the UltraDome laughed again, and Hiroshi had to concentrate on not cracking up himself. Surprisingly, Yaga didn't scowl this time; he smiled. "Yes, that's true. I am, as I have always been, a very manly man - a true Japanese man, unlike a foreigner such as yourself, Mr. Bandit." "Is Yaga actually being respectful?" wondered Hiroshi, missing the scowl that crossed Bean's face. "Normally if he takes the time to talk before a match, he just tears down his opponent verbally." Continuing without missing a beat, Yaga went on, "This reminds me of the old days of pro-wrestling in Japan, the days of heroes such as Rikidozan who would prove their power by defeating any foreigner who dared set foot in the ring with them. But of course, times have changed - somewhat." He held up a hand as he began walking down the ramp. "Mr. Bandit, do you enjoy drinking?" Bean raised his eyebrows at that. "Yeah, I like a good cold one every now and then. Hate to say it, but sake doesn't come close to a good beer." "Well, you will be drinking neither sake nor beer tonight, Mr. Bandit. You see, I have in my possession ... a keg." "A keg?" asked Bean. "A keg," affirmed Yaga. "But it is no ordinary keg, not made of metal or wood ... or, as you Americans might use, plastic. No, this is a very special keg, one which I have always treasured ... because it is a keg of the finest, Japanese-brewed, well-aged, pro-wrestling ... *whoopass*." "WHOA!!" Hiroshi marked out. "Yaga just said he has a keg of whoopass! He *is* trash-talking Bean!" "You know," Bean grinned, "kegs of whoopass are an American tradition." "I am aware of it," Yaga replied, "but you have never sampled a keg of whoopass such as the one of which I am in possession. And tonight, Bean Bandit ..." He paused as he walked up the steel steps at the corner of the ring. "Tonight, I will not only tap that keg of whoopass for you, but I will ensure that you drink deeply of its contents." He entered the ring between the top and middle ropes, then paused to say one more thing. "I understand that it gives you a uniquely painful hangover after you wake up." He tossed his mic to a waiting stagehand; Bean followed suit, and the bell rang. ][ GAMMA MATCH #2 ][ BEAN BANDIT vs. (THE GREAT) YAGA ][ FIGHT! Bean cracked his knuckles, studying his opponent. "You know this isn't personal, right?" "Of course not," Yaga responded calmly. "I hope you will not take it poorly when you lose." Bean snickered quietly, then lunged across the ring, his fist lashing out to smash into Yaga's cheek. "*If* I lose," he corrected the aging wrestler. "Pretty big 'if' at that." Yaga shook his head to clear it, then ducked under Bean's second punch and retaliated with a chop to the American's chest. Bean barely flinched at the impact, swinging again and catching Yaga neatly on the chin. "And the fight is underway!" announced Hiroshi. "Yaga seems to be holding up under Bean's assault, but as strong as Bean is, Yaga can't hope to go toe-to-toe with him and win!" "What happened to that keg of whoopass you were talking about?" Bean wondered aloud, feinting at Yaga's nose with a quick right jab before burying his left fist in the Japanese wrestler's belly. Yaga bent over with the blow, then reached up and grabbed Bean's head between his hands; without straightening up, he jumped slightly and landed on his knees, pulling Bean's chin down into the top of his head with an audible *crack*. Bean staggered back a step, then reached up to rub his chin. "Was that supposed to hurt?" Blinking, Yaga straightened up and peered at his opponent ... whose jaw comprised about a third of his face. (Of course,) Yaga thought, mentally kicking himself for his stupidity. He didn't have time to reflect on his mistake long, as Bean closed in again with a surprisingly fast barrage of punches, and this time it was Yaga who reeled back under the assault, trying to block as many of the shots as he could. "Bean is really taking it to Yaga," noted Hiroshi, "but he seems to be holding up despite Bean's greater strength! If Yaga's got any tricks up his sleeve, he'd better start pulling them out before it's too late!" Smirking confidently, Bean landed one more punch on Yaga's chest, then shifted his weight onto one leg to launch a powerful roundhouse kick. Much to his surprise, though, Yaga caught Bean's foot and held onto it, then shifted forward to kick Bean's other leg out from under him. "This must be one of those tricks you mentioned," Daisuke commented. "It looks like Yaga's going for an Achilles tendon hold, and - Bean managed to kick out before Yaga could lock it in." Yaga and Bean got back to their feet, facing each other down for a few seconds before Yaga rushed forward, bending down to tackle Bean around the waist. The Roadbuster stood his ground, taking one step back to steady himself, and locked his fists together to deliver a hammer blow right between Yaga's shoulderblades ... But it never landed; Yaga locked his hands together behind Bean's back and straightened up, then fell backwards, driving Bean's head into the mat. "And Yaga delivers a BEAUTIFUL suplex!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "Bean's getting right back up - his head's too hard for him to go down *that* easily - but so is Yaga, and the match could still go either way!" Bean stepped forward with another punch, but Yaga was ready to block it, and he countered with another chop to Bean's upper chest, connecting with a loud *smack*. Bean hardly seemed to notice the impact this time, but Yaga kept swinging, then grabbed Bean's arm and whipped him across the ring and into the ropes. The ropes stretched as they were intended to under Bean's weight, then bounced back to slingshot Bean across the ring. Yaga was ready for this, bending down and then straightening up at just the right time, throwing Bean straight over his back; Bean crashed into the canvas hard enough for the wind to be knocked out of him. Rather than giving his opponent time to recover, Yaga turned around and took a fistful of Bean's hair, hauling him to his feet so that he could begin delivering a series of closed-fist punches of his own. None of them seemed to faze Bean as he withstood the assault, trying to catch his breath and waiting for a chance to counterattack. Determined to deny him exactly that chance, Yaga suddenly stopped punching and brought his leg up with a straight kick, driving the toe of his boot into the pit of Bean's stomach; Bean bent over slightly, allowing the Japanese wrestler to lock his hands around Bean's neck and throw him across the ring. "Holey cheeses, Yaga is MANHANDLING Bean!" Hiroshi declared. "Bean may be helluva tough, but getting tossed around like that has *still* got to hurt!" Quickly getting back to his feet, Bean observed his opponent in a new light. (The guy knows what he's doing,) he thought, (but he can't keep this up for long at his age - all I need to do is land a few good punches and he'll be down for the count.) Bean settled into a guarded stance, letting Yaga make the first move this time. Delighted to oblige, Yaga ran at Bean with his arm stretched out to the side; Bean managed to catch the running clothesline before it connected, and this time it was Yaga who was whipped into the ropes, then laid out flat on his back by Bean's spinning kick. Yaga's chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath. (He *is* stronger than I thought,) he reflected, then rolled away from his opponent to get back to his feet. Bean didn't let him get up, quickly closing back in and stomping between Yaga's shoulderblades; the wrestler went back down, landing heavily on his chest. Yaga tried to roll further away, but Bean kept pace, adding insult to injury by means of a kick to Yaga's ribs while he was still down. "And Bean has got the upper hand again!" announced Hiroshi. "Yaga's actually rolling out of the ring to escape - wait, he's climbed back onto the apron, and ... what on Earth is Yaga thinking?" Balancing carefully on the top turnbuckle, Yaga crouched, then leapt, flying through the air; he stretched his legs out, feet together, feeling his body turn as it followed his intended path through the air, and was rewarded by the impact of his booted feet crashing into Bean's chest, knocking him down as Yaga himself crashed to the mat. Yaga was back to his feet first, and again he pulled Bean up to a standing position as well before laying on the punches. This time, Bean tried to block, but the wrestler was unpredictable, aiming high, low, and everywhere in between, peppering Bean's torso with the impacts of his fists. He managed to weather the barrage for a moment, but Yaga's continued assault soon had Bean stumbling backwards, struggling futilely to defend himself. "This is INCREDIBLE! Somehow, Yaga has gained control of the match and has Bean on the ropes!" "He's not on the ropes," Daisuke corrected his partner, "but Yaga's getting him there." Bean wasn't about to let that happen if he could help it. He dropped his guard completely, and Yaga moved in for the knockout - right into an uppercut from Bean that rocked Yaga's head back, leaving him dazed. "Another reversal!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "Is Bean about to go for the victory?" Forgoing finesse, Bean settled for backhanding Yaga across the face hard enough to spin the wrestler halfway around, then closed to grappling range and seized hold of Yaga around the waist. Before he could deliver a suplex of his own, though, Yaga's foot came up behind him, his heel smashing into Bean's crotch, and the Roadbuster let go with a groan as most of the male half of the audience crossed their legs, wincing. "You call that manly?" Bean grunted, squinting at Yaga. "That was a -" Yaga didn't let him finish, punching Bean in the face hard enough to send him crashing to the canvas on his back. "And it looks like ... yes, Yaga is going for a leg lock!" Hiroshi exclaimed as Yaga sat down, intertwined his legs with Bean's, then turned up the pressure, causing Bean to yell in pain. "And Bean Bandit is writhing in pain, trying to break out - he's out! Bean broke the hold! And here comes - Ooooooh, that *must* have hurt ..." "One might say," mused Daisuke, "that they're engaged in a contest of manliness. Or that they're comparing their sizes." "And for all the boots involved in this match, it's not *shoe* sizes we're talking about here!" Bean and Yaga got back to their feet, both favoring their wounded privates. Bean made the first move this time, aiming a backhand chop at Yaga's neck, and connected; the wrestler coughed hard, as though trying to clear an obstruction from his throat, and moved forward with a short clothesline to knock Bean to the mat once more. Yaga held back, allowing Bean to get back to his feet, then backhanded Bean across the face hard enough for the Roadbuster to stagger and fall yet again. Seeing Bean down and not moving, the referee finally came in and started the ten-count. He got as far as "four" before Bean sat up, which was the referees signal to stop counting and get back out of the way so the fight could resume, which it did by Bean rolling away from Yaga's dropkick. "It looks like they've both lost the advantage," Daisuke commented. "Both fighters have taken something of a beating, but neither one shows any signs of giving up." Rather than going straight for Bean again, Yaga ran to one side of him, rebounding off the ropes to take Bean down with a body blow from behind; Bean stumbled, but this time he didn't fall, and Yaga moved quickly to grab him from behind. Bean tried to break loose, but Yaga's grip held long enough for him to lift the American driver/brawler into a backdrop, driving the air from his lungs once more. "Yaga's certainly putting on quite a display of pro-wrestling prowess," Hiroshi noted. "Bean's held up so far, but he may finally be running out of steam - no, he's back up ... ROARING ELBOW! Yaga just clocked Bean with a Roaring Elbow, and the Roadbuster is *DOWN!* The referee's started the count again ..." Shaking his head, Yaga reached out and moved the referee out of the way so that he could execute an elbow drop on the prone Bean Bandit. Then he stepped back and motioned that the referee should begin the ten-count again; a little bit hesitantly, the referee complied. Although he was stirring again by the count of eight, Bean didn't get up this time, and the bell rang shortly thereafter. "Yaga's WON!!" howled Hiroshi as Yaga held up his arms, posing for the crowd despite the boos mixed in liberally with the scattered cheers. "And the fans are not loving him for it, particularly with the conditions favoring the old pro-wrestler from the outset! We'll be back shortly with the first of our two Lambda matches, so don't go away!" - = - = - = - = - Her kimono exchanged for the trousers and wraparound tunic of her battle gear, Nakoruru walked through the halls, trying to remember the directions she'd been given to get from her and Rimururu's dressing room to the backstage area of the arena. She paused to smile and nod a greeting to a young girl with blonde hair, who smiled back, then looked up and quickened her pace as she heard voices. "To protect the world from ... no, that's no good. To protect ... *something*. Argh! James, are you having any better luck?" "To unite memory with decoration?" Jessie sighed, "Your half's working better than mine. What about, 'To protect loved ones from ...'" She leafed through a thesaurus. "There has to be a word that means being forgotten." James shrugged, then looked at the girl who'd just stopped to look at them. "Can we help you?" "I'm afraid I've gotten a little lost," Nakoruru answered, bending down to scritch Chikorita behind its leaf, about where the ears would have been on a normal animal. "Hello," she cooed gently, and was rewarded by Chikorita rubbing its head against her knee. Jessie paused in her search, looking at Nakoruru. "Are you from a world where they have Pokemon?" "No," Nakoruru shook her head. "But my soul is attuned to the spirits of Nature, so these creatures ... Pokemon, you call them? ... I can understand their feelings." "We're Team - well, hopefully we'll be Team Locket by next week," Jessie introduced herself and her partner, holding up the little golden locket; James wore a similar locket in silver. "And you're new in Ultra?" Nakoruru nodded, rising to her feet and bowing. "I'm Nakoruru; my sister Rimururu and I are supposed to have our debut match shortly, but I can't find the stage area." "Oh." Jessie pointed down the hall. "Go down that way, up one floor and hang a left out the door, then turn right at the first intersection. That'll take you right to the stage door, but don't go out until your cue." "Thank you very much," said Nakoruru as she bowed again. "Good luck with your poetry." "That's *our* entrance theme," James smiled. "Or it will be once we finish it ... Let me take a look at that, Jessie." "Good luck with your match," Jessie told Nakoruru as she handed the thesaurus over to James. Nakoruru paused as she heard a sound like a dog's bark. "Shikuruu!" A moment later, the large grey wolf came to a stop at Nakoruru's feet, sitting back on his haunches. "He won't hurt you," Nakoruru told the trembling Team Locket. "Rimururu must have sent him to find me ... thank you for your help!" "Ah - certainly, it's no problem," Jessie gulped. "Are you sure that wolf is tame?" "Tame?" Nakoruru blinked in confusion. "He won't hurt you unless I tell him to attack, he's very obedient to me, but I wouldn't call him or Mamahaha tame." Shikuruu growled softly, tugging at the edge of Nakoruru's glove. "I have to go now," Nakoruru apologized. "See you later!" She followed Shikuruu down the hall at a fast jog, the wolf easily matching her pace despite the slick tiled floor. - = - = - = - = - "*ENLIGHTENMENT!!!*" Haohmaru and Morrigan strode down the ramp, posing for the crowd despite the chorus of boos that surrounded them. "And here comes Team Enlightenment," Hiroshi reported, "confident as ever despite the fact that this match was booked strictly by Jack Lysias, to whom we all wish a speedy recovery." "Obviously Haohmaru and Morrigan have no worries about their opponents," Daisuke added, "but the only person who *does* know who they'll be up against is Controversial Jack himself, and possibly the owner of the company. Incidentally, we want to give a great big 'thank you' to Nerima's own Ranma Saotome, who stepped in as Nabiki Tendou's temporary bodyguard while Lina and Naga were engaged in tonight's Omega Elimination Gauntlet match." The two members of Team Enlightenment entered the ring, Morrigan alighting in the center while Haohmaru slid under the ropes and got back to his feet, and for a brief moment, the UltraDome was relatively quiet. "And here come their challengers ..." Hiroshi blinked and re-read the lines on the teleprompter. "From Kamui Kotan, the newest tag team to enter Ultra's ranks ..." A traditional air began playing over the UltraDome's sound system, with the tones of a flute joining in to carry the melody. "Team Enlightenment's mystery opponents are Nakoruru and Rimururu!" Haohmaru and Morrigan traded surprised looks. Shikuruu walked out onto the stage first, with Nakoruru sitting sidesaddle on the wolf's back as she played a melody on the wooden flute she carried. The hawk, Mamahaha, flew out after and over them, gliding down to perch on the corner post, while Rimururu walked out on her own two feet, a glittering crystal of ice floating along next to her. The UltraDome crowds watched the unusual procession, a few people clapping softly, but for the most part something vaguely resembling a reverent silence was kept until Shikuruu reached the bottom of the ramp and Nakoruru dismounted, finishing her melody. She and Rimururu entered the ring together, climbing onto the apron and slipping between the ropes. "SURELY THIS IS A JEST," boomed Haohmaru. "WE DEMAND TO FACE OUR REAL OPPONENTS!" "It's no jest, Haohmaru-san," Nakoruru replied as she checked the short wooden sword she'd substituted for her normal weapon. "Rimururu and I will fight against you and the monster tonight." "The word," hissed Morrigan, "is *succubus*. Get it right now and don't ever forget." "New fighters or not," muttered Daisuke, "these four certainly have some tension going in the ring." ][ LAMBDA MATCH #1 ][ TEAM ENLIGHTENMENT vs. NAKORURU and RIMURURU ][ FIGHT! Nakoruru nodded to her younger sister, and Rimururu slipped back between the ropes and took her place next to the ring post where the hawk was perched, following the instructions they'd been given about how to conduct the match. On the far side of the ring, Morrigan swung over the ropes to let her samurai companion begin the match. With a slight bow to her opponent, Nakoruru settled into her ready stance, wooden sword sheathed behind her belt and one hand on the hilt. Haohmaru simply drew his sword and tossed the scabbard to one side, then stepped forward with a blow that would have cleaved a human being in half if delivered with a sharp blade. The slash was met by Nakoruru's swiftly-drawn wooden sword, and her blue eyes met Haohmaru's dark brown ones for a split second. Then the moment was broken as the spiky-haired samurai brought his foot up and planted it in Nakoruru's belly with as much force as he could put behind it, and she fell back, catching her breath and returning her sword to its sheath. "YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE ASKED TO FIGHT US, BARBARIAN GIRL OF THE NORTH." Haohmaru pulled back, then swung his sword through the air. "SENPUU RETSUZAN!" Nakoruru shook her head as the whirlwind raced towards her, then spun towards it with a dancing step and whipped her cloak out of nowhere. "Kamui Rimsay!" The cloak glowed briefly and the tornado was dispelled. "You've got it wrong, Haohmaru-san, this match wasn't our idea!" "WHATEVER," Haohmaru answered as he continued to advance. "FOR AN INEXPERIENCED FIGHTER SUCH AS YOURSELF -" Nakoruru had dropped to the mat in a crouch, and now shot forward, wooden sword extended in front of her. "Annu Mutsube!" Energy flared out around her body as she flew across the ring, just above the surface of the mat, and her course intersected neatly with Haohmaru's ankles; the samurai dropped to the mat like a felled tree. "... PERHAPS NOT SO INEXPERIENCED," admitted Haohmaru as he got back up. "BUT THAT WAS THE LAST STRIKE YOU WILL GAIN DURING THIS BATTLE." He pulled back, then soared across the ring, his blade arcing over his head and down, wreathed in power. He didn't notice Mamahaha taking to the air in a flapping of wings. Nakoruru hopped backwards, then leapt up off the top rope to meet Mamahaha at the top of her arc, her small hands grasping the hawk's talons. "And Nakoruru shows an unanticipated aerial advantage!" exclaimed Hiroshi as Haohmaru's sword buried itself in the ring. "Haohmaru's sword is stuck, but can she -" Nakoruru swung forward and let go of Mamahaha's talons, pulling her sword out again as she rolled down at Haohmaru's exposed back. Wood smacked against cloth-covered flesh, and Haohmaru was forced to his knees by the impact. "I'm sorry, Haohmaru-san," Nakoruru said as she landed on her feet behind the samurai. "I didn't want to fight someone I've been allied with before, but you've become wrong about so many things ..." Morrigan eyed Nakoruru lazily, then leaned forward and stretched her hand out to Haohmaru. "Let me have her." Haohmaru glanced at Morrigan, shrugged, and tagged out. "PROCEED." Nakoruru started backing away as Morrigan vaulted into the ring and started walking towards her, one step at a time. "What's wrong? Have you had enough already?" Morrigan purred. "Look at me, Ainu maiden ... I'm not the demoness you took me for." "Whatever you are, succubus," Nakoruru said quietly, "I won't lose to you." "Why?" Morrigan smiled like the cat that ate the canary. "I could make your surrender interesting, if you *really* don't want to fight us ..." "Mamahaha!" Nakoruru pointed at the succubus, and her hawk companion dove straight at Morrigan, slamming into her. Her guard down, Morrigan staggered back; the hawk was massive enough for such a collision to knock the wind out of her, but Morrigan recovered quickly. "Insolent wench! Soul Fist!" The energy bat flew across the ring, and Nakoruru dove underneath its flight. "I'll get you for that!" raged Morrigan, her wings sharpening as her temper rose. "Be careful, sister!" Rimururu shouted encouragement. "You can beat her!" Nakoruru nodded once as Morrigan floated into the air. "Leyla Mutsube!" She took off as she had with her earlier technique, but this time the path of her flight arced upwards, pegging Morrigan and knocking her back out of the air while Nakoruru landed outside of the ring. And Haohmaru's sword smashed down on top of Nakoruru's head while her back was turned. "Haohmaru just CLOCKED Nakoruru!!" shouted Hiroshi. "But she's outside of the ring; if that knocked her out, the match is already over and Team Enlightenment just lost by DQ!" Shikuruu was at Nakoruru's side in a matter of seconds, growling at the samurai who attempted to look as though nothing was out of the ordinary. "Uhhh ... thank you," Nakoruru groaned as she leaned on the wolf to get back to her feet. Morrigan was standing in the center of the ring, smiling unpleasantly as she stared at her opponent. "You'll have to do *much* better than that to beat us," Morrigan purred as she watched Nakoruru crawl back into the ring. "I think you're better than my legendary oaf of a partner admitted earlier, but you're still nowhere close to being a match for us." "I won't give up," was the stoic reply. "Especially not to the likes of -" Again, Haohmmaru struck while Nakoruru's back was turned, and this time she fell forward, landing on her face. "SISTER!!" shrieked Rimururu in outrage. "Hey, you can't do that twice!" she shouted at Haohmaru. "You can't even do that *once* and get away with it! C'mon, sis, tag me in! Come *on*! We've gotta beat them for cheating like that!" Nakoruru started crawling, her head ringing from the two shots which Haohmaru had landed. Morrigan met her halfway and helped her to her feet, turning so that Nakoruru's back was to the sisters' corner. "Shadow Blade!!" Nakoruru's body was lifted into the air and landed hard against the turnbuckles as the crowd's boos crescendoed. "Had enough?" asked Morrigan, eyes glittering coldly as she stared down the two Ainu maidens. Rimururu smacked her sister's hand and slid between the ropes. "C'mon, Konril, let's teach these bullies a lesson!" The floating ice crystal chimed softly and followed after Rimururu. "A little girl and an ice cube," sighed Morrigan. "Surely the quality of competition in Ultra is going down these days." She spun forward, one wing swirling out to smack Rimururu in the gut before it unraveled into dark tendrils which lashed forward to entangle the young girl. "AAAAAAHHH!! Lemme go, lemme go!" Rimururu struggled against her bonds. "Sis, help! Konril!!" "Hmmmm?" Morrigan raised an eyebrow. "And who's Konril?" "Mamahaha, GO!" Morrigan's attention snapped from the younger sister to the older, just as the hawk plowed into Morrigan from the side, giving Rimururu the chance to break free - a chance which she immediately seized, flailing until the constricting tendrils had fallen away. "Be more careful, Rimururu, but don't hold back!" Rimururu nodded. "I understand, sister!" She turned to face the enraged succubus. "This is Konril ... and this is her power!" Rimururu dropped into a crouch, slamming her hands into the mat, and a lily-shaped ice crystal shot upwards from right under Morrigan's feet. "WHOA!!!" boggled Hiroshi. "Looks like Rimururu's packing some serious ice-power in that crystal companion of hers! Like we always say in Ultra, don't judge the fighter by her age!" "Since when do we say that?" asked Daisuke. Morrigan glided back down, brushing frost from her body as she landed ... then gave Rimururu a look at least as icy as the attack she'd just been struck with. "Is that all you can do?" "Um, uh ... no - take this!" Rimururu tossed a ball of ice at the succubus, who lazily blocked it with a wing. "Errrr ..." "You should save your ice-flowers for something useful," Morrigan said imperiously, "like keeping people's drinks cool. Now then ..." She stepped forward, her wings spreading wide and sprouting another batch of tendrils. "KYAAAAAH!!" Rimururu pointed at the succubus with both hands as she screamed, partly in fright, and a barrage of icicles appeared around her arms, shooting forward at Morrigan; each icicle was batted out of the air by a waving wing-tendril, except for the giant one which ended the barrage. That one, Morrigan grabbed with both hands and shattered over one knee. "I suppose the two of you aren't without *some* amusement potential," the succubus murmured, "but maybe you should get used to the competition before you come after soon-to-be champions like the samurai and myself." Her wing-tendrils lashed out, and although Rimururu drew her sword and tried to cut them before they could entangle her, she was pulled relentlessly into Morrigan's waiting arms, which wrapped around the girl's body in a hostile embrace. "Sweet dreams," murmured Morrigan as her wings retracted and reshaped into vernier rockets, which roared to life and lifted her into the air; about ten feet above the ring, Morrigan simply flipped over, spiraling down into the mat with Rimururu's head striking first. The young Ainu girl flopped to the canvas like a rag doll, and the referee stepped in to begin the ten-count. There were no interruptions, not even from Konril as it hovered next to Rimururu's fallen body. "OUTRAGEOUS!!" Hiroshi bellowed as the bell was rung. "Team Enlightenment practically broke every rule in the book as they flattened Ultra's newest tag team! I sure hope Nakoruru and Rimururu stay around, because this is going to be one ULTROCIOUS feud!" Finally regaining her balance, Nakoruru lunged forward to grab hold of Rimururu's tunic. Morrigan turned around at the noise, saw her, and smiled; another dive by Mamahaha wiped the smirk off of Morrigan's face and gave Nakoruru the time to pull her sister out of the ring, drape her unconscious form over Shikuruu's back, and head up the ramp at a fast walk. "So much for staying around," Daisuke quipped, "but I have a feeling they're going to be back for a rematch. Maybe not next week, since we have the Reboot 4.0 pay-per-view, but probably not long after that. We'll be back with the Lambda championship match after this short break." = = = = = = = = = "Hiiii!!" Nuku Nuku smiled widely. "This is Nuku Nuku, and I've been asked to show you who's fighting at next week's Ultra Reboot 4.0, so I went around and asked them for their thoughts about the pay-per-view!" Ash hefted the Internet title belt, resting it prominently on one narrow shoulder. "I won this title once, and I'm gonna keep it this season - there's NOBODY in Gamma or Lambda who can beat me in a straight-up fight, even if they fall back on cheating!" Sakura Kinomoto and Li Shaoran stood uneasily next to each other, with Nuku Nuku next to them. "Are you worried about how you'll do at Reboot?" chirped the magenta-haired catgirl. Li shook his head. "That twerp with the Pokemon isn't a match for my family's magic - and when I can use one of his own creatures against him, he's going to get trounced." "What about you, Sakura-chan?" "Ummm ... I hope I'll do well. I'm certainly going to try my best." "That's the spirit!" Nuku-Nuku smiled. "So will we be seeing the two of you in the finals?" The two members of Team Clow glanced at each other. "She'll lose too soon," Li scoffed. "She'll be lucky to make it out of the first round." Sakura fidgeted quietly for a moment. "I ... don't know how I'll do yet." "Well, good luck!" said Nuku Nuku, giving Sakura a reassuring smile. Yaga looked up from the punching bag. "I don't use the Internet much, but that web shrine as good as belongs to me." Jessie tossed her hair back (as though it needed it), smiling confidently. "We've got a few surprises up our sleeves for Reboot, so my opponents won't stand a chance!" "And they won't involve cheating," added James. "Buuut ..." Nuku Nuku stayed off-camera. "Jessie, aren't you fighting that crazy Vega guy in the first round?" Jessie's smile faded. "The one with the mask and claw?" "Yep!" Jessie burst into tears, wailing, "I'm too beautiful to be cut like that!" Duo turned away from touching up Deathscythe's paint job. "They call me the God of Death when I'm in my Gundam, but I'm pretty lethal without it too. Anyone who's got the bad luck to go against me is gonna find out the hard way just how deadly I am!" = = = = = = = = = "Just in case you missed it earlier," Hiroshi said, "Tonight's pre-PPV episode of MTCFF Ultra is brought to you by UltraSound Ear Protection! You've got your regular earplugs for normal noise, and industrial ear protection for industrial noise, but when it comes to truly ultrocious noise, there's only one choice! UltraSound Ear Protection, used by Ultra's own technical and stage crews for the biggest noise of the biggest show in sports entertainment! If it's not UltraSound, your ears don't stand a chance!" "And now that my partner's finished our obligatory advertising time, it's almost time for tonight's main event ..." Daisuke looked around. "But I'd still like to know why ringside looks like a furniture sale." The camera panned around the ringside area, revealing stacks of folding tables on all four sides of the ring. "Probably something to do with the Lambda championship match," Hiroshi hazarded a guess as the camera's attention returned to the announcers' table. "Controversial Jack Lysias said that he had something special in mind for the tag team championship match tonight, but so far he hasn't said anything about it to anyone. I guess we'll find out when you all will!" "Here come the challengers," Daisuke noted, looking towards the stage. "From Balamb Garden, it is our pleasure to introduce the SeeDs of Destruction -" "HEY!!" the two fighters chorused. "Selphie Tilmitt and Zell Dincht," Daisuke finished, and the two SeeDs jogged down the ramp, Zell heading straight for the ring while Selphie took the time to wave to the booing crowds, then scowled and headed for the ring herself. "And their opponents, the current Lambda champions," Hiroshi called out, "GARY! And! MARLO!!" Boos transformed into cheers faster than a Pokemon's evolution as the champions ran onto the stage and down the ramp, diving under the bottom rope and standing up side by side in the ring. They took the time to pose at all four corners, holding up their belts and posing for the crowd, eating up the applause like it was popcorn. "OKAY!!" The UltraTron came on to reveal the smiling face of Controversial Jack. "I'm told everyone's down there who needs to be down there, so here's what you needed to know! You've probably been wondering what all those tables are doing out there ..." The general consensus was "Hell Yeah!" although the fighters were a little more subdued about their agreement. "It's simple!" Jack beamed. "This is no ordinary Lambda title match ... this is a TABLE MATCH for the TAG TEAM TITLES!! First team to put both opponents through tables wins, so let 'er rip!" ][ LAMBDA CHAMPIONSHIP: TAG TEAM TABLE MATCH ][ SELPHIE and ZELL vs. GARY and MARLO ][ FIGHT!! "Lemme soften 'em up for you," Marlo grinned as he pulled a folding steel chair out of nowhere. "I'll call you if I need you." "Suits me fine," Gary smirked as he slipped out of the ring. "And I'll watch your back while I'm at it." Zell and Selphie traded looks, then went after Marlo simultaneously, the rooster-haired martial artist punching at the furniture warrior's face while Selphie swung her oversized flail at Marlo's legs. Instead, Zell's fist slammed into the chair as Marlo blocked, although Selphie's swing connected and put Marlo off-balance. "And the tag team table match for the Lambda belts kicks off in high gear!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "Marlo's being double-teamed right now, and the referee is trying to get one of the two SeeDs to get out of the ring, but so far to no avail!" "The heck with this," Gary said as he tossed out a Pokeball. "Alakazam, chuck the girl out with Telekinesis!" The psychic Pokemon finished materializing, and raised its spoons. "Kazam!!" "HEY!" yelped Selphie, flailing about as she was lifted up by an invisible hold. "Put me down!" "Zam!!" Selphie was flung backwards, her lower legs hooking the top rope as Alakazam removed her temporarily from the match. "Thanks, partner!" Marlo gave his teammate a thumbs-up, then swung his chair at Zell's face, only to be blocked and then foot-swept. "Kid, this ain't a playground," Zell chided his opponent. "Or a furniture store, for that matter - even if it looks like one right now." Rising back to his feet, Marlo gave Zell a scornful look. "No, it's a fighting ring, so stop flapping your beak and fight!" He pulled back with his chair, then ducked under Zell's expected punch and swung his chair into the other fighter's legs with an audible CLANG! "And down goes Zell!" cheered Hiroshi. "Marlo and Gary are laying the smack down on their opponents!" Flipping back to his feet, Zell decided it was time for a change of pace. "Blizzard!!" A large chunk of ice crystallized out of the air over Marlo's head, then gravity took over and slammed it down on top of him; Marlo staggered, shaking his head, but remained basically upright, and retaliated by bringing his chair up, over, and down onto the top of Zell's head. The SeeD dropped to one knee, momentarily dazed. That was all the time Marlo needed to tag in his partner. "All right," smiled Gary, selecting a Pokeball. "Machoke, go!" "MA," growled the fighting Pokemon as it materialized, flexing its muscles. "Oh, a tough-guy Pokemon, huh?" Zell grinned as he watched the posing Pokemon. "Let's see what happens when you're up against yourself! REFLECT!" Selphie smacked her forehead. "Zell, that only works against magic attacks!" "Ma?" Machoke prodded the air in front of Zell as though sensing something there. "Machoke!" It flexed its arms, and posed again ... then differently ... eliciting a few cheers from the Pokefan contingent in the UltraDome, but not much besides that. "I think ..." Daisuke double-checked his Pokedex, then snapped it shut. "Machoke can see itself in Zell's reflect spell. It's acting like it's in front of a mirror, posing and admiring itself." "That's right, Dai! What an amazing display of tactical sense by the mercenary martial artist!" "... Who are you supporting, anyway?" "Ma, choke, ma, choke, ma, choke ..." Machoke was getting so wrapped up in admiring itself that it didn't pay any attention to Zell, who waited for just the right moment before pulling back and kicking the humanoid-shaped Pokemon between the legs. Machoke's eyes bugged out for a moment, and then it started to collapse to the mat. "Machoke, return!!" The crimson beam tagged the fighting Pokemon and recalled it before it fell completely. "Smart move, however you did that," Gary admitted, "but now we're getting serious. Gyarados, I choose you!" Hiroshi's eyes bugged out. "Gary's got a GYARADOS? Hit the deck! Take cover! Batten down the hatches and bar the holds!" Zell took a step back, then spun around and tagged Selphie's hand. "Hit it with your best shot," he told her as he scrambled out of the ring. "Booyaka!" Selphie vaulted over the top rope, raising her giant nunchaku. "THUNDARA!!" Gary just groaned quietly, hunkering down next to a neutral ringpost to avoid getting zapped if Selphie's spell missed the obvious target; both fortunately and unfortunately for him, it didn't - the massive lightning bolt struck Gyarados directly amidships, and the serpentine Pokemon was eliminated before it had a chance to do more than look menacing. "Gary's not having much luck with his Pokemon tonight," Daisuke commented. "Two of his Pokemon are already out of action." "Unless he can tag in his partner and make a comeback, Gary and Marlo may be just about to *lose* their title belts!" "Sandslash, go!" Gary flung out another Pokeball. "Use your Slash attack!" The desert-mouse Pokemon leaped towards Selphie, its giant claws coming down as it descended at her. Selphie jumped back, but not quite far enough, and the Pokemon's claws ripped down the front of her dress as Sandslash landed with perfect balance on the chain of her nunchaku. "EEEEEEEEK!!" Selphie turned red, dropping the Pokemon off of her weapon and then laying into it one-handed, or other hand holding her dress closed in front. "Don't DO that, you disgusting creature!!" She bashed Sandslash over the head one more time, then scrambled back to her corner and tagged Zell back in. "You don't *ever* do that to a lady," Zell warned as Gary recalled his bludgeoned Sandslash. "I'm gonna have to beat you for that." "Lady?" Gary made a show of looking around. "I don't see any ladies around here." The force of Zell's punch spun Gary around twice, sending him staggering towards the turnbuckles. "Ah, geez ..." Marlo reached out and slapped Gary's hand, then climbed up to the top turnbuckle. "Hate to drop in unannounced, but -" He leapt at Zell, reaching into FurnitureSpace in mid-air and pulling out an economy-size refrigerator; Zell's face left a slight dent in the side, but fared the worse from the impact, reeling. "Cura!" Magic flared from Selphie's hand, and sparkles of light surrounded Zell, reviving him. "Now go get 'em!" "Yes ma'am!" Zell pounded his fists together, and lobbed a Fire spell into the refrigerator's systems; something exploded, and Marlo quickly rid himself of the damaged appliance before it could do any damage to its surroundings. "Now then -" Zell rushed Marlo, laying into him with a series of punches; Marlo managed to pull a credenza out to block most of them, but Zell anticipated the block and directed some of his strikes around the obstacle. What he didn't anticipate was getting the credenza shoved into his outstretched arms, and he automatically held onto it. "Thanks!" Marlo pulled out a rolling desk, then sent it running into the credenza and Zell's gut like a battering ram; the credenza was crushed, and Zell was hurled back into the corner. "Not again," groaned Selphie. "Cura!" Magic sparkled around Zell's body again, and he reopened his eyes. "As long as Selphie keeps healing Zell," declared Hiroshi, "the two of them can outlast Gary and Marlo and wear them down! Marlo's advancing to meet Zell, and - oooooh, that has *GOT* to hurt!" he winced audibly as Marlo smashed a table lamp over Zell's head. "Gary, get ready!" Marlo paused to stomp on Zell's ribs a couple of times, then hauled out a steel chair and swung it at Selphie's head - stopping short. "Do it!" "Nidoking!" Gary threw the Pokeball. "Take Down on the chair, now!" The crowd came to its feet as Nidoking materialized and leapt, its weight and momentum driving the chair into Selphie's forehead. She slumped, her dress coming open again, and then fell to the ground; fortunately, the conservative underwear she had under her slightly exhibitionist dress kept her relatively modest. "Nidoking, return!" Gary stepped into the ring, walked over, and gave his partner a shove to get his attention. "MARLO!!" Marlo spun around, eyes blazing. "WHAT?!" Gary paused dramatically, then pointed at one of the stacks outside the ring. "GET THE TABLES!!!" The cheers redoubled in intensity as Marlo and Gary raced to the side of the ring, then came up short as the stack of folding tables erupted in flames. "Okay," Gary nodded sagely. "... GET THE OTHER TABLES!!" "And it looks like Zell and Selphie are trying to destroy the tables before Gary and Marlo can put them into play! It's an underhanded scheme," Hiroshi analyzed as a second stack of tables was set ablaze, "but Zell and Selphie can't lose if they don't go through the tables!" "They *are* going through tables," Daisuke replied, deadpan. "Like kindling!" "Aw, for -" Marlo pushed Gary out of the way, then reached into FurnitureSpace and *SLAMMED* a massive table of polished oak down in the middle of the ring. "Let's see them break *this* table!" "Uh ... sure," replied a wobbly Zell. "Fira!!" A few wisps of smoke rose from the table's surface. Marlo just smirked. "Flame-retardant finish." "Tentacruel, go!" A large jellyfish-like Pokemon materialized. "Use your Wrap attack!" Gary ordered, pointing at Zell, and the Tentacruel complied, wrapping its tentacles around the martial artist's body so that his arms and legs were pinned. "I don't believe it!" shouted Hiroshi. "We've got girls' clothing getting ripped AND we've got tentacled monsters in the fight! What is this, Ultratsukidoji?" "Thundar-aaaagh!" Selphie collapsed as Marlo smacked her with another chair, but then Marlo was struck by the thunder attack, winding up flat on his back and trying to remember how to breathe properly. Gary glanced at his fallen partner, then turned his attention back to his Pokemon. "Tentacruel, get him on the table and then let him go!" He pulled a fresh Pokeball from his belt as the jellyfish Pokemon wrestled the woozy Zell onto the table. "Golem, go!!" Gary tossed the Pokeball, and a massive Rock-type Pokemon shaped like a vaguely humanoid boulder formed. Directly over Zell's body. Tentacruel had just enough time to get out of the way before Golem's descending weight smashed the table in half, driving Zell's form through it to the mat. "And Gary singlehandedly eliminates Zell ... with AUTHORITY!!" shouted Hiroshi as Gary recalled both of his Pokemon. "Hey, Marlo," Gary called out. "You feel up to finishing off the other one?" Marlo grunted something as he got to his feet, then nodded. "Leave'ertame," he gasped. "Marlo can't possibly be thinking of swinging furniture in his condition," Daisuke fretted. "Selphie and Zell managed to destroy all of the tables we had out here, except for ..." He trailed off, looking at the desk he shared with Hiroshi. The announcers' table. Moving as if with one mind, both announcers grabbed their microphones and vaulted over the barrier, vacating the doomed desk; Marlo paused to give them a thumbs-up as he pulled Selphie to her feet, then dragged her into the ring. Her nunchaku lost in the confusion, Selphie flailed away weakly at Marlo's face and chest, but it wasn't enough to keep him from perching her in the middle of the ropes, then using a chiffarobe to send her flying through the air. As expected, the announcers' table collapsed as Selphie's limp body went through it, and the bell rang. "Your winners, and STILL the Lambda champions," Hiroshi shouted, "GARY AND MARLO!!" "That's all the time we have for tonight," Daisuke added, "but don't forget to order next week's Ultra Reboot 4.0! This is Daisuke -" "And I'm Hiroshi, and from all of us here at MTCFF Ultra, good fight, good night!" - = - = - = - = - While the crews were still packing their equipment to await next week's show, Sakura Kinomoto dashed through the corridors, hoping she could find someone before she left. "Have you seen Jessie-san!?" she shouted to one of the UltraDome's technical staff. "They're in their dressing room," the staffmember shouted back, and Sakura waved her thanks before continuing on. She was almost to the locker/dressing rooms now ... there! The 'R' emblem that had been their symbol, now enclosed behind a red circle with a diagonal bar across it. Sakura knocked on the door, then leaned against the opposite wall to try and catch her breath. The door opened. "Yes?" It was James. "Umm ... is Jessie still here?" James nodded, and looked into the room. "Jessie, that girl's here to talk to you." "What, Nuku Nuku again?" "No, the girl from Team Clow. The one who ..." Jessie immediately appeared in the doorway. "What was your name again ... ?" "Sakura Kinomoto." Sakura bowed politely, out of reflex. "Jessie-san, I came to ... I wanted to ..." She fidgeted nervously. "Anou ..." "Yes?" Jessie's voice was gentle. "... to apologize," murmured Sakura, her eyes downcast. "For capturing Pikachu." Jessie nodded quietly. "And ... ?" "We ... don't know how to let him go yet. But we're working on it!" Sakura looked up again, still nervous but not wanting to make it seem as though she were hiding something. Again Jessie nodded. "How is Pikachu doing?" "I don't know ..." Jessie sighed faintly, stepping the rest of the way out into the hall and leaning back against the doorway. "Sakura, Pikachu has never taken well to captivity. He never liked being in a Pokeball, and back when we were trying to steal him, he always found some way to break out, with or without Ash's help. If there's a way for him to break free, believe me, he'll find it." "But the magic -" Sakura swallowed. "Jessie-san, I *want* to give him back to you! Li-kun's taken the card because he thinks he can figure out how to use Pikachu, he said he'll find a way to release him for good but I don't know if he's really going to do it!" "Li is your friend, right?" "Yes ..." Jessie smiled gently, and leaned forward to put her hand lightly on Sakura's shoulder. "Then trust him. Sakura, I believe what you're telling me, but you have to place your trust in your partner." Sakura nodded miserably. "I'm sorry I sealed Pikachu ... I didn't mean to, it just ... came by reflex ..." "Sakura. You'll find a way to release Pikachu, or your partner will, or Pikachu will work out how to escape that card on his own. Whatever happens, I know Pikachu's not stuck as a card forever." She straightened up. "It's getting late; you'd better go home." Sakura nodded. "Umm ... good luck next week, Jessie-san." Smiling, Jessie nodded. "Thank you - and good luck to you and your friend; you'll both need it." Sakura waved and ran off in search of Tomoyo and their ride home. - = - = - = - = - "Lysias-san?" Jack looked away from the book he was reading. "Ah, Bulleta! Yes, put the flowers ... over there," he gestured at the nurse's desk. "Thank you for coming by, I needed to have a word with you." "I'm sorry I shot you, Lysias-san! I was just so excited -" "- that you didn't know what you were aiming at, yes, or something similar. No, that wasn't why I wanted to talk to you ... but it's a good point." Jack sat up, rearranging the pillows to support himself as Bulleta came back, the bouquet she'd brought now situated right on top of the reports that the duty nurse had been reading. "You heard about the terrorist attacks we were having around here before you arrived, didn't you?" "Terrorists?!" Bulleta's hands flew to her cheeks. "Oh, no! They'll kill us all and chop us up and grind our bones and -" "No they won't," Jack interrupted, "because the attacks stopped right around the time *you* showed up. Now, I know everyone around here figures I'm completely crazy, and a lot of the time they're right," he winked at the flustered nurse, "but I *can* think straight about a few things. One of them is our roster of fighters." He glanced around the infirmary, then got out of bed and stood up, picking up his favorite black trenchcoat from under the card table and putting it on. "Let's go for a little walk." "Mr. Lysias!" the nurse exclaimed. "I'm sorry, but I can't -" "Not as bad as it looked on camera, remember? I won't be gone long." He headed for the door. "Just don't let Mr. Duck wander off and everything'll be just peachy, okay?" "Mr. Lysias!" The door closed, cutting the nurse off. "Okay, Bulleta," said Jack as he turned to face her, his expression and voice now completely serious. "Here's the deal: The same day you arrived, our technical crew was all off at Tokyo Tower, a bomb went off there, and it was only because of Ultraman popping out of nowhere that we didn't have to cancel the night's show and put a bunch of Help Wanted ads in the Tokyo newspapers. That meant that when *another* bomb went off, taking out the automatic UltraCam system here in the Dome, the only way we could get any backstage footage was by getting a couple of warm bodies to tote the cameras around, looking for something interesting to film. So instead of a camera being there to see you punk Iori out, our cameramen of the night heard screams and came running to see Iori spattered in crimson standing over your body, which in turn meant that everyone who was watching that night was on your side when I booked your match against him. Did I miss anything?" Bulleta stared at him for a moment, then asked very quietly, "You figured all of that out?" Jack nodded. "Now I know some of your bombs *are* real, and it's a good thing you didn't use any of those in your Hardcore match or we'd be down at least two fighters and a whole bunch of other employees. But there's another thing: the crowd *loved* you that first week, they ate the whole thing up ... now they're not sure what to think about you: cute, innocent girl, or psychopath?" "I'm *not* a psychopath!" exclaimed Bulleta, her eyes flaring ... and Jack took a step back, waiting for her to calm down. "It's ... I don't know." Bulleta's eyes returned to normal. "Something *dark*, something I felt when I was at my Grandma's house for the last time." "When the ..." Jack hesitated, then shook his head. "Never mind, it's not important. What *is* important is, what're we gonna do about you? You started out really popular, but now the audience is a little scared of what you can do ..." He held his hand up to forestall her protest. "*But* it was Vega's shiny ass you were kicking all over the UltraDome tonight, and quite frankly I can't remember the last time we had a Hardcore match go that far from the ring. Personally, I loved it - even the sadistic aspect, because *that* is what gives a Hardcore match, title or otherwise, its ratings power: two fighters going at it with everything they've got, and defenestrate the normal rules. The truth of it is, Bulleta ... I like you. I want you to stay in Ultra, because we need the fresh blood - preferably not *spilled*, thank you - and because you've got potential. I want the audience to keep loving you, but we've got to figure out how not to scare them off at the same time. Are we on the same page here?" Bulleta nodded. "Lysias-san, I want to stay in Ultra." Jack waited a moment for her to continue. "And ... ?' The little girl in the red-hooded traveling cloak shrugged. "Fair enough," Jack smiled. "You'll probably have next week off, unless someone at the pay-per-view wants a crack at the Hardcore title. Now scoot; I'm an injured man and I need to get my strength back." "Okay!" Bulleta smiled, then pulled an apple out of her basket. "This one's real - promise." Jack raised an eyebrow, gingerly taking the apple from Bulleta. "You sure?" "They only blow people up when I'm ..." She hesitated, trying to find the word. "Psychotic?" Jack shrugged at her hurt look. "It's not a dirty word, y'know - hey, I like it." He took a bite of the apple, chewed, and swallowed, looking at the revealed inside. "I *really* like it. Now vamoose." "Bye bye, Lysias-san! Get well soon!" Bulleta skipped down the hall, leaving Jack to return to his bed of rest. - = - = - = - = - Sephiroth sat in his room at B-ko's estate and brooded, all lights off and the curtains drawn. He had already recovered from the injuries incurred during the Omega match, except for an icy core of fury directed at the sorcerer who had somehow managed to defeat him. "It was not a full defeat," the Mako-imbued warrior murmured, eyeing the blade of Masamune. "But I will destroy him." Masamune's blade reflected a shining golden light. "He wasn't trying to destroy you, Mr. Sephiroth." "Mary ..." Sephiroth looked up, his blue eyes the only light in the room after her portal vanished, save for a faint glow around her entire form. "Have you come back to learn more?" Mary shook her head quietly, sitting down on the edge of Sephiroth's bed. "You've taught me all you know, Mr. Sephiroth, and I needed to learn it - just like I needed to learn what Mommy wanted to teach me. You taught me both sides of people, between the two of you, but I still need to learn everything else about them." "So that you can be God, as you were born to?" Mary shrugged. "I just know I need to. Mommy did what she thought was best for me, even if she wanted to do it for herself too. And you did what you thought was best for me, even if you wanted to do it for yourself too." "Mary ... I offered you my loyalty. I still do." "You want me to be one kind of God, Mr. Sephiroth, but that may not be the God everyone else wants." Mary glanced at the oil painting which concealed a large television set. "You taught me that, too." "What?" "That people want different Gods." Mary walked over to the painting, then reached up and touched the frame. The painting came to life. An army appeared on the plains and marched into the forest, burning it down, killing the villagers who depended on it for their livelihood, torturing a priest who worshipped the trees ... blood soaked into the ground, ash was dissolved by rain, and into death the seeds of life were sown by the gentle winds and the few animals who passed through ... slowly, after hundreds of years, the forest had returned, and one day, humans came: they cut down trees, built houses, and the village grew to a town, and then to a city: the forest ceased to exist. And then the painting was just a painting. Mary turned to look at Sephiroth again. "Why?" "It is in the nature of humans to sin." "What is sin?" Sephiroth looked at her. "To do that which is wrong." "What is wrong?" "That ..." He hesitated. "That which opposes your will." "What is my will?" "..." Sephiroth tried to guess, feeling as though he had been maneuvered into a logical trap. "The will of God cannot be known by mortal minds, Mr. Sephiroth," Mary told him gently. "But I can tell you one thing which I want." "And what is that one thing?" "I don't want to hurt people. Not even sinners ... because they're people too. Good night, Mr. Sephiroth ... sleep well." Mary turned away from him, flared golden, and disappeared. Sephiroth laid his sword aside, knowing that he would never fall asleep that night ... only to be proven wrong. = - = - = - = - = EPISODE RESULTS: ][ NAKORURU and RIMURURU appear and are later HIRED ][ RANMA keeps on TRAINING ][ LI SHAORAN takes back THE PIKA ][ AKANE realizes the nature of HER GOAL ][ WASHUU still misses MARY ][ TIFA wins against ASH in a FAIR FIGHT (except for POKEMON) ][ SAKURA KASUGANO wants to HELP LEI ][ DUO wins by TECHNICAL DISQUALIFICATION against B-KO ][ HAOHMARU thinks LITTLE of NAKORURU ][ BULLETA beats VEGA for the HARDCORE TITLE (with LOTS AND LOTS OF VIOLENCE) ][ JACK LYSIAS is NOT QUITE KILLED ][ DARK SCHNEIDER wins OMEGA ELIMINATION GAUNTLET; is now NUMBER ONE CONTENDER ][ JACK is LESS DEAD THAN HE SEEMED ][ YAGA has a KEG OF WHOOPASS ][ YAGA taps his keg against BEAN and wins ][ TEAM ENLIGHTENMENT beats down NAKORURU AND RIMURURU ][ REBOOT competitors engage in PRE-TAPED TRASH TALK ][ SELPHIE and ZELL get TABLED; GARY and MARLO win ][ SAKURA KINOMOTO apologizes profusely to JESSIE ][ JACK reveals what he knows about BULLETA ][ MARY gives SEPHIROTH a THEOLOGY LESSON Author's notes: .... WHEW. @.@;; It's been too long since I last wrote for Ultra, and given my impending year of study in Japan, it may well be even longer until the next time. If we're unlucky, Ultra might not still be around when I get back ... More about the study-abroad thing later. I'd partially forgotten just how much fun it is to write for Ultra, at least for me - but not enough to think twice about applying for each season's queue as it came up. Ultra, to use some slang, juices me up good - it reaches down to where my creative juices come from, pops the cork, and dumps me into the torrent. Unfortunately, this also seems to have been my general bad-luck season; this took a lot longer to write than I planned for it to take, partly due to various RL obstacles and turbulence, lots of which ties into ... Studying in Japan. I was originally scheduled to go at the end of Season Eight, just before UltraRage, but between the time I submitted my application and the time the queue was posted, I met with my adviser to sign up for courses for the fall, and she decided based on a couple of factors that I needed to go study in Japan for a semester or two. Being the enthusiastic sort, I decided to take the money shot and go for a full academic year. Unfortunately, study abroad programs tend to cost a hell of a lot of money. I know I'm part of the 'advantaged' class compared to some folks, including some of the people I call friends on the Internet, but the program I'm taking costs upwind of twenty thousand dollars. @.@; Thank the gods for financial aid in all its shapes and forms. This is relevant to Ultra because one of the things I had to do this past week was turn in two scholarship applications, one of which - it turned out - had to be typed. Old-school mechanical typewriter style, since I couldn't type it up and print it out on my computer. ... Anyway, you get the idea. RL situations which require dealing with equates to time lost working on Ultra, especially when they absolutely, positively, CANNOT be put off any longer than they already have been. One of those RL situations which was getting ready to come up was the reason that I finally decided that I *couldn't* go at the end of Season Eight: my departure date for Japan as generally planned was August 19, which has been pushed back to August *15* due to the vagaries of student fares and airline tickets. Given the normal rate of fire for Ultra, that meant I originally had a slim chance of my turn coming up before I left for Japan, and a growing chance that they would coincide or I would be committed to write while I was *in* Japan, where I don't know what the extent of my Internet access will be yet. When I raised this point on #Improfanfic, the consensus of my fellow writers was that I'd better scramble and try to swap with someone; thanks to Twoflower and Nameless Ultra Fan (and Lurker, who shared a bit of info which was timely if unfortunate), the slot swap was made and here you have my mad rantings instead of NUF's. So, here's Ultra episode 77: a little later than I'd hoped to have it in, but hopefully this is quality worth waiting for. (If it is, please let me know; I'm back to reading the Improfanfic message board if you don't want to take time and e-mail me. ^^) Some specific points of interest in this episode: * Nakoruru and Rimururu. I've wanted to add Nakoruru to the Ultra roster for a couple of seasons now, and in many ways she's an ideal contribution: she's not overly powerful, she can interact with many of the other existing characters (a handful in particular) for one reason or another, and she's from a relatively well-known source series, namely the Samurai Shodown/Samurai Spirits games, plus the SNK vs. Capcom/Capcom vs. SNK titles. Rimururu provides additional plot fodder as Nakoruru's sister. I've tried to depict Nakoruru as gentle by nature but fully capable of fighting, with a heart attuned to the natural and spiritual worlds and the ability to back up her beliefs. Rimururu wants to help her older sister by any means available, but she's still learning how to follow in Nakoruru's footsteps and she's not quite up to big sister's level yet. Unfortunately, the absolute worst time to introduce or rearrange a character is just before a pay-per-view, and as luck has it, that's where I wound up this time - even after I swapped with Nameless Ultra Fan. It was a little worse in this case because neither of the girls is probably going to have anything to do at Reboot, whereas Twoflower *could* work out something to do with them in an UltraRage if they came in at season's end. I've tried to sink roots so that Nakoruru and Rimururu will be active in episodes to come without authors having to strain for ideas; I'm more than happy to share my ideas if anyone wants them. (I'm also willing to write a scene or a match involving Nakoruru and Rimururu, if anyone wants to involve them in their episode but isn't sure how to handle them.) * Team Clow: NUF and Scott had arranged one thing for the state of The Pika, whereas after I sent my notes to Twoflower and Ked, it turned out that Ked had his own plans and needed something *completely* different. One or two chats later on IRC, I bounced a revised idea off of Ked and he agreed that it would work. Hopefully what I've done doesn't step too much on his toes and doesn't fly in the face of Ultra continuity. Happy mediums are hard to find. * Akane's training: Would you believe I nearly forgot this one? ^_^;; And after all the discussion on the board, too ... including my promise that I had an idea. I think this outcome works well; it keeps Akane from devolving into a Ranma-esque Shotoclone, it doesn't deny her training under Ken, and it stays true to her character (or my understanding thereof) as a whole. * Injured fighters: Unfortunately, about half of the Reboot lineup was booked in my episode, one way or another. More chatting with Ked helped me lock down how to get folks hurt as the plot dictated whilst not removing them from Reboot. * B-ko vs. Duo: No, the feud isn't necessarily over; B-ko is too obsessive to give up just because she blew up the planet with a missed shot. The Zeta Gundam is "real," from the Mobile Suit Z Gundam TV series. I have a model kit of it which I assembled a couple of weeks ago, and yes, the Hyper Mega Launcher is really longer, even folded, than the model is tall. In the anime, the Zeta Gundam was built by a company called Anaheim Electronics. Guess where I got the framework for the acronym. * Bulleta: I had my own ideas about what to do with her even before I got NUF's notes, and I didn't want to completely ignore what he'd worked out with Zach following her Ultra debut. Vega was also needed for Reboot, which meant some *more* fast work trying to keep Bulleta appropriately psychotic while not painting Vega into the critical care ward. Part of what I wanted out of this episode was to get back to what a Hardcore-style match *means* in sports-entertainment: the ring is a starting point, EVERYTHING except interference from a party not involved in the match is legal, go where you want and use anything that isn't nailed down if it strikes your fancy. Most of Ultra's recent Hardcore bouts have been Gamma fights with sharp objects involved, and I wanted to shake things up. Bulleta shouldn't be invincible as Hardcore champion; she's still a little girl (relatively speaking; I've seen different indications of her size) and can be distracted, and having a military-surplus supply store in her picnic basket doesn't mean she can't be knocked out. * Yaga's promo: He's a pro wrestler by background, and he thinks the fans should love him. The fact that they don't yet is mostly immaterial; he just doesn't realize correctly *why* they don't like him, and he's got a mindset too solid to figure it out the right way. I also had a hell of a lot of fun drafting and writing the promo about the keg of whoopass. ^_- * Table match: I turned into a fan of the WWF's Dudley Boyz somewhere along the line. ^_^; I toyed with the idea a little, figured it would work, picked an opposing team and wrote it into my outline, then wrote up the match. Acknowledements, mad props, and shout-outs: - Twoflower, one of the five best damn writers I know, for creating Ultra and inviting people to play in his sandbox. Also for being willing to adjust for my scheduling needs when the chips were down. - Eternal Lost Lurker, another one of the five best damn writers I know, for informing me that NUF might be in a position to swap with me on short notice, helping me to sort things out on the fly, and for being as insane on IRC as he is. Yes, he can be really f***ing abrasive if he doesn't like you, but if you're on his good side he's just an awesome dude all the way around. - The #Improfanfic IRC crew, for being some of the craziest people I know and for providing all manner of logistical and moral support and advice while I was writing, as well as contributing a few random ideas along the way. If I thought I was gonna have enough 'Net access to keep in touch by that means, I'd have registered mIRC already; see below for how I know I *will* be staying in touch. - Nameless Ultra Fan, for being willing to swap on extremely short notice. He contributed his own episode outline even though I didn't ask for it; I've used a couple of his contributions in here but I mostly left it so that he might still be able to use a lot of it. Good luck! - My prereaders: Ked, Lurker, NUF, Scott Schimmel, and Zach Grafton, for pointing out flaws and weak spots in the initial draft and providing much- needed feedback and advice. This may be the first time I've drawn this much on prereader feedback in completing an episode of Ultra, but I do believe the final product is significantly stronger for it. Thanks, guys! ^_^ - All of the other gleefully crazy individuals who were insane enough to sign up for MTCFF Ultra this season, in the past, and in the future. Even the ones whose parts fell short of the average; you're part of Ultra too. - The Usual Suspects (tm): SNK, Capcom, Toriyama Akira, AIC, CLAMP, Kodansha, Game Freak, Nintendo, Squaresoft, Tsuburaya Productions, and too many others to count for creating the characters and concepts which are regularly folded, spindled, mutilated, buried in soft peat, recycled, walked over, stepped on, sliced, diced, and roasted to a delicately crispy edge by the authors who contribute to MTCFF Ultra. We wouldn't be as gleefully crazy as we are without you. - Calculus, for hosting Improfanfic.com and its subsidiaries, without whom we might be as gleefully crazy as we are but we wouldn't have the support network to realize our full potential. - Life, the Universe, and Everything. Yes, EVERYTHING. Tim Miller trmiller@bcpl.net July 11, 2001 P.S. - While I'm in Japan, I will be posting reports on my personal situation and tidbits of interest on LiveJournal, at . I'm not the most diligent about updating it, but this is the most reliable means of seeing how I am if I'm not around to ask. You are cordially invited to bookmark the page, and if you're already a LiveJournal member yourself, please let me know so I can put you on my list of friends! ^_^