Yaga smiled. It was a pretty reassuring smile, actually. After all, Yaga used to be a champion and fan favorite in a wrestling federation that, admittedly, was about as fake as it could get. There's no way Yaga would have gone that far if he couldn't make a nice, happy, reassuring smile. "Ah, Darshu, so good to see you. I was hoping you'd drop by." Did I mention that Yaga wouldn't even have made it into the pros without the ability to convincingly lie like a dog? "I'll skip the pleasantries, Yaga, since I know you don't really care about them any more than I do. I want a match." "I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid I can't just hand out title fights left and right. Although, if this is about your ongoing Dan obsession, I might say yes." "I'm not after the belt this time, or even that pink freak," Darshu sneered. "I want Yuffie." "Oh, please," said Yaga, still with his smile in place. **Don't let him bully you just because he's in Omega,** Yaga thought. **You have a power even greater than his.** "I'm not going to set you up with some stupid exhibition match." "You know what she did to me! She kicked me in the crotch and left me out to dry, and Dark Schneider ALWAYS pays back what he owes." "That's funny, I thought she only kicked you in the-" "It's a figure of speech!" yelled Darshu. "Fine, fine," said Yaga. "How does an I quit match sound? I don't think Ultra's ever had an Omega level one, I have a slot to fill, and it sounds like fun. We can discuss what you owe me later." Darshu paused. On the one hand, this match would be everything he wanted. Heck, it would be more than he wanted. But did he really want to owe Yaga some unspecified favor for it? Hell yeah. "You've got yourself a deal, Yaga." "Glad to be of service," replied Yaga as Darshu was knocked to the floor by a rapidly opening door. "Yaga, you cheater!" yelled an easily recognizable pre-pubescent voice. "How dare you book me in a match like this!" Yaga's smile widened. "What's wrong with it? I would have thought you'd jump at the chance to fight your old rival." Ash glared at Yaga like... a very angered pre-pubescent. "Fighting that cheater Gary is one thing, but I will NOT compete in an evening gown match!" The tense moment was broken by a certain wizard snickering. "Ya' know, kid, usually I'd beat the daylights out of you for hitting me with that door, but the idea of you in an evening gown takes all the anger out of me. Later, twerp." Darshu walked out of Yaga's office, laughing quite loudly while Ash tried to stop himself from blushing. Yaga thought for a minute. This was like the old Ash, yelling about cheaters left and right. "Well, Ash, I was wondering. Why are you so angry about cheaters again? I thought you were over that." Ash almost growled. "It's that damn Team Rocket! They tried to brainwash me before the match, and it worked, too! I finally broke through their cheating trick last week! I hate cheaters! I hate, hate, hate, HATE CHEATERS!" Ash yelled, and, losing his temper, punched the wall next to him hard enough to leave a small dent. "I finally figured out why Team Rocket wasn't cheating during the match! It was because they had already cheated before!" Ash seemed to shake with his particular brand of self-righteousness. Yaga hmmmed. This was an interesting turn, and it seemed genuine. "I'll tell you what, Ash. I've never liked Team Rocket, and now seems like a good time to deal with them. I'll book you and Gary against them, and I'll have Team Enlightenment hang in the rafters of the Ultradome, just above the ring. When you see Team Rocket or your partner Gary start to cheat, just call them down, and they'll help you." "Really? You'd help me?" Ash paused for a second. "What do you want in return?" "Oh, nothing. I'm just glad to see you on your crusade. We need more people like you in Ultra, and now that I'm in charge I'm going to make sure we get some." "Alright," said Ash, "But don't think I've forgotten about the times you've cheated too! Just make sure Enlightenment only comes down only when I call them." "Pleasure talking to you," lied Yaga as the young trainer left. Once the door closed, Yaga allowed himself a brief chuckle. He didn't really like Ash, but supporting the youth super-heel would make the crowds hate him even more. It was a fine line Yaga walked; he had to make sure they hated him enough to hold their interest, but not so much that they got disgusted and tuned in somewhere else. Something bothered Yaga, though. Something small... about Ash's hand... the one with a small ring shaped like a pokeball... Wait. There wasn't a ring on Ash's hand when he left, was there? Yaga thought about it for a few seconds, but dismissed it as nothing. No doubt just his imagination. Yaga started to buzz his secretary when the video intercom turned on, revealing his new boss. "Yaga," Nabiki said, "We must talk." "Oh, honored leader. What a pleasant surprise," Yaga lied again. "Who are you booking my sister against, Yaga?" "Oh, no one you two haven't seen before." In a way, it WAS true. "I'm warning you, Yaga," growled Nabiki, "Don't mess with my family. You'd better not be planning something stupid like pitting her against an Omega fighter." "Oh, I assure you, Gamma or Lambda only. Besides, wasn't booking a gamma fighter against an Omega one YOUR trick? I believe it was Sakura against Shin Akuma, correct?" "Yaga," said Nabiki in a tone that said very clearly "Watch it, easily canned underling, you're treading on thin ice." Sometimes it was a pain to have employees with good memories and enough free time to watch lots of old Ultra tapes. "Please, just revel in the mystery," said Yaga, still with smile in place. "This IS why you hired me, remember?" Nabiki sighed and rubbed her forehead. He did have a point, and she doubted Akane would be too happy if Nabiki started giving her special favors. "Fine, Yaga, have it your way. But you're on thin ice," she said, and clicked off the monitor to go and find some aspirin. Yaga went to buzz his secretary again, and this time he wasn't interrupted. "Send in my stable-mates, and stop all other visitors until they leave." The fans had to hate him just enough, and it wasn't happening yet. He needed to do something big. The door opened, and Yaga's comrades-in-arms filed through. Mr. Satan, Haohmaru, and Morrigan took seats around Yaga's desk. Yaga rather idly noticed that Mr. Satan took a seat on the far side of Morrigan; it seemed the wrestler had not forgotten what had happened between them. "So, Yaga," began Mr. Satan, "What do you have for us today?" "I'm sure you three already know that Akane is booked to fight a mystery challenger tonight." "So, you're going to pick one of us to fight her," replied Mr. Satan. "OBVIOUSLY, ONLY THE LEGENDARY MIGHT OF THE INVINCIBLE HAOHMARU CAN DEFEAT SUCH A WORTHY, YET NOT QUITE LEGENDARY OPPONENT." "On the contrary," oozed Morrigan, "I'm the only logical choice. Besides, I can make that decision quite pleasant for you, Yaga." "As appealing as that sounds," managed a slightly flustered Yaga, "I'm not going to pick one of you to fight Akane." "BUT ONLY A LEGENDARY WARRIOR SUCH AS I CAN POSSIBLY HOPE TO DEFEAT HER!" There was a ten second truce while the others took the time to recover from a yelling Haohmaru. Thankfully for him, Yaga recovered first (probably because he was expecting just such an outburst). "No no no, you misunderstand," he said. "I can't pick one of you to fight Akane, because you'll ALL be fighting her." The others paused for a second. Then they smiled. Then they laughed. And then three of them clutched their ears to protect them from the power of LEGENDARY LAUGHTER! * * * * * "So," said Tarou, "Do you think Yaga did it?" "Ugh," said Nabiki as she dry-swallowed a pair of aspirin. "Yeah, probably. What're we talking about?" "Jack," replied Tarou in standard monosyllable. "He's been gone for a week, and if Yaga managed to get rid of him for good-" "Then Jack won't be able to return and take back his position," finished Nabiki. "I dunno. The idea seems like something Yaga might think of, but I doubt he has the guts to try something that big. If he got caught trying to kidnap Jack, no amount of persuasion would help him." "Maybe," said Tarou. "I think he has more guts than you're giving him credit for." "There's also the matter of style," continued Nabiki. "Yaga wouldn't leave any trace; no evidence. A giant hole in the wall? Now, that's something Jack... would... do..." Nabiki trailed off. Tarou stared at Nabiki. Nabiki stared at Tarou. Because situations like this required it, they both began to say "Do you think-" at the same time. Nabiki shook her head. "He would, wouldn't he? Fake insanity and blow a hole through the wall? It WOULD explain why Nuku-Nuku is missing." "She's missing?" asked Tarou. "Well, I haven't seen her. Of course, it could be that he was kidnapped by someone. I heard Bison escaped recently, and I'm surprised he hasn't surfaced; maybe he did it. We can't jump to conclusions." Tarou shuddered. "If Bison got him, I don't think we're going to find more than a head. Possibly not even that much. You're right, though, about us needing to not jump to conclusions." Nabiki "Hmm"ed, thinking about the possibilities. "Well... forget it. We keep searching the way we have been; it's too early to start acting on half- formed hunches." Nabiki sighed. "Why am I getting deja-vu of Heaven vs Hell? I'm even addicted to aspirin again!" "History repeats," began Tarou mysteriously before ducking a thrown aspirin bottle. * * * * * Alberto was in a funk. If anyone had asked him, he would have used some excuse; he was angry, he was thinking, he was... something, but he definitely WASN'T sulking. Still, he was honest enough with himself to know when he wasn't in a very admirable mood. It wasn't that he had lost his chance to capture Ultraman, although that was a part of it. The real problem was his entire Ultra career. He won matches consistently (well, fairly consistently), but despite it all, he wasn't getting anywhere. His "feud" with Ultraman was more to keep himself busy than to capture and use the giant's power; sure, it would be a nice bonus, but that wasn't why he was here. Ultra had almost ended the world more times than anyone could count; it was a creation of the ultimate power, the Godhead. Capturing fighters was all well and good, but Alberto's real mission was something else entirely: use one of the cataclysms that Ultra seemed to shed like dandruff to get... well, whatever he could. Good idea, in theory, but it wasn't working out; there hadn't been anything he could use since he got here. "Heellllooooo!" said a voice somewhere behind him. "Mazoku delivery service! Anyone want to order a world of their very own to play with and dominate and make obey their every whim?" **That's funny,** thought Alberto as he turned around, **I'm sure I know that voice...** Seeing that he did indeed know that voice, Alberto's first response was to ready a shockwave and point it at the newcomer's face. "Alright, Xelloss, you have ten seconds to explain before I blow your head off. Now start talking." "Now, now, no need for that," said the Mazoku. "I'm here to give you the opportunity of a lifetime, Al-kun! Think about it, your very own world. You can jump straight to the top of your gang's hierarchy, or just supercede them altogether and become a god." "Nice thought," said Alberto. "Now explain how you're gonna make it happen. NOW. I've heard all about you and your little secrets." Xelloss sighed. "Please, I've turned over a new leaf! The old, lying, secretive me is no more. Honesty is the best policy!" "Uh huh," replied Alberto skeptically. "If that's so, then spill it." * * * * * "So, you see, that's why I need you! All you have to do is fight, just like you're fighting here, and you'll have your very own world when we win! Now, does anything sound better than that?" Alberto thought about it. "What happens if we lose?" "We won't lose," replied Xelloss. "You'll make sure of it, because if we do lose, then you don't get your world." "Wait," said Alberto, suddenly remembering a big, big problem. "Aren't we being taped by Ultracams back here, Xelloss? You just spilled your story." "Ultracams, Ultracams..." said Xelloss, pretending to try and remember. "Oh, you mean this Ultracam?" he said, bringing a one-inch cube out of the folds of his robe. "That's not a-" Alberto suddenly remembered that while Xelloss tended to move through other people, he had a very large amount of power in-and-of himself. "Alright, so maybe it IS an Ultracam," admitted Alberto. "One step ahead, that's me. Now, about the deal?" Somehow Xelloss managed to perfectly convey the expression of a young, helpless innocent asking the big hero to save him from the monster. Alberto thought some more. It WAS a tempting offer... "You already have Bison, correct? Well, as a fellow crime lord, if he's going along with you, then I guess I'll go along with you too." **Besides, once the full team is assembled, I'm sure we'll be able to take you when you try to backstab us.** "Yosh! Team Xelloss is up to two!" The purple-haired demon powerposed, complete with rising sun fan. "You'd better keep it quiet until I come back; we don't want the good guys getting word of this too soon. I'll see you later!" and Xelloss disappeared. Alberto smiled. Things were finally looking up... * * * * * "Did you hear who we're fighting?" yelled Sakura as she burst into her partner's dressing room. "Yeah, of course. That's why I'm here," replied the ever-cynical Li. "But do you realize what this means?" "Yeah, we have a fight." "No no no!" said Sakura, obviously not reaching her sort-of friend. "We're being booked as heels! You must have noticed!" "So?" "Hoee?" Shaoran sighed. "Does it matter whether we're heels or faces? As long as the fans care about us, it doesn't matter if they love us or hate us. You should be happy about it; heels often have a longer stay here than faces." "Hoee?" Sakura reasoned. Shaoran sighed again. "Look, just get ready, and try not to make us lose, alright?" "I'm trying my best," Sakura said. "I'm sorry that I haven't been fighting my whole life! What do you want from me?" Sadly, Sakura thought about all the time she had spent in quiet, out-of-the-way places recently training with her clow cards. She was spending so much time that her schoolwork was beginning to suffer, but even so, her skills weren't improving fast enough for Shaoran's liking. "Well, for starters, you could stop whining about your best and start fighting up to snuff. Actions speak louder than words, you know, and I'm tired of carrying this team on my time card." Sakura stared at Li for just a second, and left, somewhat dejectedly. Not knowing where else to go, she began to walk aimlessly through the halls. She didn't like what was happening to Li, but she didn't know what to do. If only there was a god who could give her a sign... "Wow, do you ever look glum, Sakura," said Mary. "What's wrong?" "Oh, Mary," said a startled Sakura. She wasn't sure exactly how to treat her suddenly-older friend; should she ask about what happened or ignore it? What was the etiquette for things like this? There weren't any books with advice on what to say to someone who aged ten years in two weeks. "Well, what's wrong? You look like your best friend just died." Sakura visibly flinched, and Mary paused. "Wait, that isn't it, is it?" Sakura shook her head. "But it IS something to do with Shaoran, right?" Sakura nodded. "He's never exactly been the nicest person, but ever since coming to Ultra... It's like this place has been drawing out the worst part of him. He doesn't care what he does anymore, as long as he gets a reaction." The words started coming faster now, pouring out. "I just want him back the way he was before this place changed him. I'm trying to help him, but whenever he fights it just gets worse. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop him from fighting. There has to be a way, but I just can't find it!" Sakura began to cry, weeks of pent up frustration coming to the top. "I just want to help him!" she yelled. "Why is it so hard?" "There, there, calm down, Sakura," said Mary as she hugged her friend. "Trying to help people is one of the hardest things there is; I should know. You've been going along with Shaoran this whole time, just so you could be there for him, right? To try and stop him when he goes out of control, to hold him back when he goes too far." "Yeah," Sakura mumbled. "Hey, Mary, you're in the administration, right? Can't you do something to get Li and me kicked out of Ultra? If I can get Li away from here, I think I may be able to do something for him." "I don't know, Sakura. I think I might be able to prevail on Nabiki to fire you two," (Mary thought about using the fact that Nabiki knew she was the Godhead), "But I'm not sure how much good it would do. You said it yourself: Ultra is only bringing out a part of Shaoran that's already there. I doubt just taking him away from it will help any." Sakura straightened up, and stepped out of Mary's embrace. "So... what would you suggest?" she asked. "Well, just hanging around him isn't going to help any; you have to stop being a bystander and start taking action," thought Mary aloud. "To tell you the truth, I'm not entirely sure what you should do. Ultra has hurt Shaoran, but I think it can also heal him. How you use Ultra is up to you, but using it is your best shot. You know Shaoran a lot better than I do, and in the end this is going to be between you and him. When the time comes, I'm sure you'll know what to do." Sakura chuckled a little. "Well, it's not exactly a road map, but I can't really expect you to solve all my problems with a magic wand, right? Thank you, Mary," Sakura said before turning and walking away with a new spring in her step. "Sakura, wait!" said Mary, and Sakura turned around to listen to her friend. "One more thing. Sometimes, you have to take a step back to take a step forward." "A step back... to take a step forward?" said Sakura hesitantly, not entirely comprehending. "Exactly. It's like what you did just now: before you could get on with your life and helping Li, you had to cry away your frustration and anger. Remember that; sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forwards. Not every every goal can be reached in a straight line." "A-alright, Mary-san," said Sakura, somewhat hesitantly, but still understanding. "I'll keep that in mind. I promise I'll do the right thing." As Sakura walked away, she was not as bold or as confident as she could have been if Mary had advised her differently. But... It is quite possible, even probable, that no other advise would have made Sakura nearly as RIGHT. LIVE! FROM THE ULTRADOME! THE BIGGEST SPECTACLE IN ANIME AND VIDEO GAME SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT AND IMPROFANFIC! IT'S TIME FOR... { M A G I C A L T R O U B L E S H O O T I N G } { C R O S S O V E R F I G H T I N G } { F E D E R A T I O N } { .-----------. } { | U-L-T-R-A | } { `-----------' } { http://www.mtcffultra.com } Episode 85 : There Is No Cheating When You Make The Rules Written By : David Schwager MTCFF Ultra Created By : Twoflower "Are... You... Ready... For... A.... Little..." Hiroshi paused to let the cheers build up, perfectly judging the right time to let loose his next and most important word. He played the crowd like a flute to build up as much tension as he could. "ULTRAVIOLENCE?" he screamed out over the loudspeakers. "NO! WE'RE NOT! GIVE US TEN MINUTES!" the crowd shouted back, before collapsing into laughter at the sheer novelty of it. Hiroshi glared at his partner, who was standing on the announcer's table displaying his new "NO! WE'RE NOT! GIVE US TEN MINUTES!" T-shirt, available at a steal from a local Ultra merchandise distributor near you. "You know," said Hiroshi, "My job was a lot easier before you started this whole cynic movement." "Funny you should mention cynics, Hiroshi, because I've got another new shirt out as well. Behold!" said Daisuke, as he proudly reached under the table and pulled out his new "I'm a cynic, and proud of it!" T-shirt, available at a steal from a local Ultra merchandise distributor near you. "Well, uh..." mumbled Hiroshi as he sweatdropped. "Good for you, Dai. Way to open up into the T-shirt market." "Yeah, I know. Would you believe that, over the past two weeks, my Drop Dead, Hiroshi T-shirt sold almost three times as many as all of your T-shirts combined?" "THREE TIMES?" yelled Hiroshi. "Er, I mean, it's, uh, only natural for a new type of shirt to sell more in its first few weeks than established shirts that have been out for over a year." "Hiroshi, the show, remember?" "Oh, yeah. Well, folks, do we ever have a show for you!" belted out Hiroshi as he effortlessly changed gears. "You just can't miss this one! Two Omega fights, one of which is the first Omega level I quit match ever in Ultra history, promising to redefine the word Ultrocious!" "Except that it's between Darshu and Yuffie, the tag team of Omega, so unless things have changed radically it's just going to be an exhibition match to keep them in the public eye." "Wo..., I mean, what are you talking about? No doubt they've recently been estranged after Darshu lost the belt at UltraRage!" "Nice save, and I guess it's possible. Unlikely, but possible. Anyway, continue hyping, Roshi." "With pleasure, Dai! We've also got two Lambda brawls, including one with Ash-" "Who may or may not still be a first class jerk after UltraRage. Most people have their money on no, but anything is possible in Ultra, right? He'll be fighting Team Rocket though, so all you marks get ready." "And, to finish the night," climaxed Hiroshi, "Akane will be defending her belt against a mystery contender! It doesn't get much better than this!" "Except that this mystery contender will no doubt turn out to be Yaga or one of his cronies. Good for him, too. At the very least, he deserves some respect for managing to worm his way into head booker. Mind you, I don't realistically expect any of them to win." "Well, on that possibly positive note, on to the first match of the night! Prepare for a technological showdown between the self-proclaimed greatest genius in the universe, Washuu, and her cybernetic android maybe-friend, the Battle Angel Gally!" enthused Hiroshi. "Last time they fought, Gally was one step ahead and managed beat Washuu, but who knows what new inventions Washuu will fight with this time!" "Actually," said (the recently warped-in) Washuu, "I'm not fighting." "So you're using the invention of giving up?" remarked Daisuke. "Oh, it's not that," said Washuu, "But Gally and I decided it just wouldn't be much fun for us to fight again; after all, you fans already saw that twice. So, instead of fighting myself, I'm substituting in my daughter." "Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen?" yelled Hiroshi. "It looks like our cheerful young referee, Mary, will be fighting in an Omega match! What incredible powers will she show for us today?" "Oh, I'm not fighting either," said Mary as she came over to sit by her mother. "It wouldn't exactly be fair, would it?" "But... but..." Hiroshi wisely declared. Daisuke held his head in his hands (he didn't want to risk breaking the table by banging his head against it). "Hiroshi? Just watch and see what happens. The Ultracams are coming on now." * * * * * * The battlefield was a large forest, much like the first time Washuu and Gally had fought. Gally was already there, leaning against a tree, while the referee Ifurita stood impassively several feet away. ("Hey, where's the second fighter?" asked Hiroshi. "Patience, my over-hyper friend," replied Daisuke. "Love the tension.") The usual Ultra portal chose that moment to open, and the audience waited with baited breath to see who would emerge. Then the portal closed, without anyone having come through. "The match will begin now," said Ifurita. ("But no one's there!" yelled Hiroshi. "Roshi, calm down. You'll find out what's going on soon enough") As if Ifurita knew what was happening back at the dome, she spoke up again. "Technique #2082, Phase Manipulation. In light of special circumstances, both fighters must be visible before the match can begin." "Aw, you're no fun, Iffy," said a voice from nowhere. "Here I come." A head with long, light blue hair popped out of the ground, followed by a body and, eventually legs. "This good enough for ya?" ("Wow, it's Washuu's creation, the much feared space pirate Ryoko! I guess Washuu IS sort of her mother." "I should have seen that one coming," Daisuke groaned.) "It is sufficient, Ryoko," said Ifurita. "The match will now begin." ][ OMEGA MATCH #1 ][ RYOKO vs. GALLY ][ FIGHT! Ryoko began by charging up one of her signature red energy blasts and firing. Even with it's guided capabilities, Gally dodged easily. "Missle bees!" she yelled, shooting her auto-guided swarm, but the space pirate simply phased into the ground to let them pass. Ryoko flew foward, creating a red energy sword in her right hand. Gally obligingly unsheathed her Damascus blade and charged. It quickly became apparent that, even with Ryoko's ability to fly, she was the far inferior swordswoman. After parrying Gally's first strike, she nearly had her head taken off by the follow-up, and Gally's speed while running was even greater than Ryoko's speed flying. Eventually giving up, Ryoko dispelled her sword and phased into the ground just inches in front of Gally's blade. "Damnit Ryoko, get out here!" yelled the cyborg as she pulled her sword free from the ground. "I can't beat you if you won't fight!" Then she was hit in the back by a tree. That sentence should not be taken to mean "Ryoko picked up a tree and smacked Gally with it." It should be taken to mean "A tree reached out and smacked Gally in the back." "Ha, didn't know I could possess objects, did you?" asked Ryoko from inside the offending tree. "It's not that useful, but it's a nifty trick every once in a while." "So are these. Missile bees!" respond Gally, hurling a swarm at the base of the tree. They obliterated the bottom quarter, and the top began to fall. Before it could finish its arc, however, it exploded into fragments as Ryoko re-appeared. She hurled a dozen small energy blasts downwards, all of which Gally avoided quite easily. "Ha ha ha, dance, little girl!" Ryoko yelled, throwing out another dozen blasts. **As long as she stays up there, I'm going to have trouble,** thought Gally. **I'm better at close combat, but I can't even touch in distance fighting. Still, if my guess is right...** "Missile bees!" Gally yelled against, as she shot yet another swarm straight at Ryoko. "Please, didn't you try that already?" taunted Ryoko as she paused her barrage long enough to phase into a nearby tree while the bees passed. The problem came when they didn't. Ryoko looked around as the swarm of bees positioned themselves in a cloud around her last position. It was fairly disperse, but if she came out from her tree, she had no doubt a couple would manage to tag her. Not a problem, though; she just had to phase sideways through a couple trees and get out of the bee cloud. Jump, jump, jump, jump, and out. "Alright, now where were we, girl?" Ryoko said, as she looked down at the ground for her opponent. Who wasn't there. **Oops,** thought Ryoko, as a screaming battle angel descended from the tree- tops, Damascus sword pointed downwards. Ryoko barely had time to phase back into the safe tree; Gally's blade had been inches from her face. "What's wrong, Ryoko?" Gally asked as she climbed back into the treetops. "You can't shoot at me while you're phased into an object, and I can jump on you the moment you get out of there." Ryoko smiled. **Never try to use the same trick twice, girl,** she thought as she ascended through the tree-trunk, popping out several meters away from the cyborg, and mere inches in front of an arachnid bomb. KABOOM! A charred Ryoko fell out of the foliage and almost crashed into the ground before righting herself. **Damnit, that girl is out-thinking me!,** Ryoko thought. **She was prepared for me coming up!** "I can out-think whatever you try to do, Ryoko!" Gally yelled as if on cue. "You might as well give up now!" "Yeah, right," replied Ryoko. You don't know me very well do you?" "Well enough. Missile bees! Arachnid bombs!" Ryoko phased into the ground, letting the firepower uselessly smash into it. Unfortunately, these bugs seemed to have the same programming as the other batch, and dispersed themselves across the ground in an explosive net. "This is REALLY getting annoying, girl!" yelled Ryoko. "I'm gonna come up and squash you!" Phasing into a nearby tree, Ryoko flew about three-quarters of the way to the top. **This should be close enough,** she thought, and put her plan into motion. Gally watched as Ryoko slowly phased out of a tree, energy sword in hand. From her vantage point in the tree-tops, only Ryoko's hair was visible, but that was more than enough. The cyborg began silently hopping trees to get at a better position almost directly behind, ignoring Ryoko's loud declaration. "Come on out, Gally! We'll settle this with our blades! No more running away, damnit! Hurry up!" **Ryoko does have a short temper, doesn't she,** thought Gally. **She's letting it cloud her judgement.** So thinking, the battle angel leapt from the treetops, Damascus blade outstretched in her right hand. She was good and quiet; Ryoko never even heard her coming. "Hiyah!" Gally yelled, nailing Ryoko in the head with a left-hand punch. The space pirate, instead of falling to the ground in pain, shattered into a million wood chips. The real Ryoko phased out of a tree several meters above and hurled a large energy blast at Gally's exposed backside. Gally tried to evade with a monofilament, but it never even reached a tree before the energy hit, frying the cyborg's circuits and wrecking most of her key systems, including motor functions. Bonelessly, she fell towards the ground, Damascus blade slipping out of her fingers to embed itself in the ground, several meters below. Several constant meters. She wasn't falling. "Whoa," said Ryoko from behind, "Are you okay? Washuu would kick my ass if I let her best friend fall to death." "I'll... be fine..." murmured Gally. "Well, that's what you get for going up against the great Ryoko! You're lucky you're in as good shape as you are!" Ryoko began to laugh, before she was cut off by Ifurita. "Gally is no longer able to fight. Ryoko, you are the winner. However, my readings indicate that if this arena did not favor you so much, Gally would most probably be carrying you out of here," said the (mostly) impartial ref. "Hey, quiet down, Iffy!" yelled Ryoko as she dropped to the ground. "This is my grand moment of celebration! Hey, and would someone make a portal already? Get off your lazy butts!" Said portal did appear, and Ryoko, in an impressive feat of arial maneuvering, grabbed Gally's sword in one hand, threw Gally over her shoulder, and used her free hand to wave to the nearest Ultra-cam as she flew (backwards) through the portal. "To all my soon-to-be devoted fans: love ya! Bye!" * * * * * "Wow, what an Ultrocious fight!" marked Hiroshi. "I wonder if we'll ever see her again?" Daisuke sighed. "Let's think about it... An easily marketable fighter, who the fans already love, and with much promise... Nah, we won't be seeing her anytime soon." "Don't be so sure, Dai; you never know what'll happen! After all, this is Ultra!" "Sarcasm is beyond you, isn't it, Roshi?" "Yep! We'll be back after this short commercial break." * * * * * Sakura had a purpose. She was going to talk to Sakura. Thankfully, she wanted to talk to a different Sakura, otherwise she would be insane, and she was far too young to be insane. "Sakura!" she greeted as she spotted her target. "Sakura! How are you?" the older Shotokaner greeted back. "I'm sorry that we have to fight next." "No, don't worry about it," said the younger magician. "I came to ask you a favor... when you're fighting, I don't want you to hold back just because we're friends. Especially against Li, alright?" "Are you sure?" (older) Sakura asked. "I don't want to hurt you." "I know you've gotten over the evil intent. I'll be fine, don't worry." "Well, if you're sure... then I promise I won't hold back." "Thank you, Sakura. I'd better go comfort Li; he gets nervous when I'm not at the match ahead of him." The older watched the younger go, and wondered what was so different about her tonight... * * * * * "And we're back!" screamed Hiroshi for the benefit of the blind. "Here come two rising stars, some of Ultra's youngest and most powerful fighters, the amazing TEAM CLOW!" "Or, as I've started calling them, beauty and the bastard," commented Daisuke. "Cold, but true." Li boldly walked down the center of the aisle, with Sakura hovering several steps behind him. He was dressed in his usual green robes, while Sakura had a most unusual costume: her normal school uniform ("I don't have time for special outfits tonight, Tomoyo. This has to be a serious fight."). A mix of cheers and boos echoed down; it was a little hard for the crowd to figure out whether it should be booing the heel or cheering the face. "And their opponents, favorites here at Ultra since their introduction, masters of martial arts, Sakura and Shingo!" "This is going to get really annoying, really fast," said Daisuke. "Two Sakura's in the ring... I think we've had this fight before. Well, tough luck for anyone listening on the radio." This time, the crowd erupted into full-fledged cheers, as the older pair made their way to the ring. Sakura bounced around (not that way, perverts) while waving to the crowd. Shingo, while slightly less energetic, still waved and smiled, even autographing a lucky fan's small replica Shingo notebook (available at a steal from... you get the drift). Li began to climb into the ring, but Sakura pushed him back down. "I'll start out," she said, and slid through the ropes before he could protest. "You have to stop doing that. You know you're not as good a fighter as I am. Just tag out when you've had enough, alright?" Li noticed that she didn't answer him. The older Sakura exchanged a glance with Shingo, and jumped into the ring. They had agreed beforehand that she should take the more magically oriented Sakura, since she had more control over her ki attacks. "Alright, I suppose it's mostly pointless to ask for a nice, clean fight from you," said Mary, "Considering that you're both pretty nice people and all. And Sakura-chan, just do what you feel is right." ][ LAMBDA MATCH #1 ][ TEAM CLOW vs. SAKURA AND SHINGO ][ FIGHT! "Windy!" yelled the 10-year old, "Tie up my opponent!" She was obviously going for the quick and easy victory, but the other Sakura was wisely expecting something like that. She nimbly dodged around Windy's tendrils, but was eventually backed into a corner and surrounded by the powerful clow card. Just as it looked like she would be down early, the martial artist planted both feet and flared her battle aura. "Bombshell!" she yelled, knocking the tendrils back. "Amazing!" yelled Hiroshi, "It looks like Sakura just used Akane's bombshell technique against Sakura's Windy card! What a counter!" "I guess it makes sense that their little group is sharing moves... and that one IS pretty useful." Sakura gritted her teeth and forced her still activated card at her friend again, who countered with another flare. Over and over, clow card met ki- sphere in... "A fireball duel," said Daisuke suddenly. "This fight has degenerated into a fireball duel." Without any further words, he brought something small and gleaming out of his pocket. "Windy!" "Bombshell!" "What an amazing battle!" cried Hiroshi. "These combatants are fighting viciously back and forth in a test of endurance and sheer willpower!" Hiroshi paused for a second, immediately sensing that something was wrong. "Windy!" "Bombshell!" "Er, as I was saying, I've never seen such a fierce fight of incredible skill!" Another slight pause. "Seriously, Dai, what's going on? Why aren't you saying anything?" Hiroshi looked away from the battle to take a look at his partner. "Oh, good Kasumi in heaven! What are you doing, Dai? This is monstrous! Horrible! Terrible! Hideous!" "Windy!" "Bombshell!" "Uh..." said Daisuke as he looked up, "You mean that I'm not watching the fight?" "No, not that!" replied Hiroshi. "That... THING... you're holding! How could you?" "Windy!" "Bombshell!" "Roshi, calm down, it's only a GBA. I'm playing Advance Wars." "Exactly! How could you get a shilling contract for something before I did?" Daisuke gave a small smile, and looked back at his GBA. "Cynic power. Ain't life grand?" "Windy!" "Bombshell!" But this time something was different: instead of letting her ki fade, Sakura charged it brighter and cupped her hands into the classic fireball pose. "SHINKUU-HADOKEN!" she yelled, letting loose her most devastating fireball attack. "Wi-" began the younger Sakura, not expecting anything different, but her incantation soon transformed into an undignified squeak as she put her arms out to protect herself. Windy, weakened but partially deployed, responded to her gesture and attempted to form a shield. However, the super-fireball tore through the feeble resistance and smashed right into the young magician, knocking her into a roll and out under the ropes. Sakura (the upright one) dashed up to the ropes, using them to halt her progress as she leaned over to look at her friend. "Hey, Sakura, are you okay? You told me not to hold back anything, so I didn't, but-" "I'm... fine," managed the weakened youngster. "Windy... took some of the damage... just let me get up..." She struggled to her feet, but then Li walked up to her. "Just take a rest. I'll finish the fight from here," he said, and hit his partner lightly over the head. The blow wasn't strong (it more resembled a tap than an actual punch), but it seemed to knock whatever determination was in her right out. "Li..." Sakura began, but she couldn't seem to find the words she wanted to say. "Well," said Daisuke as he put away his GBA. "That was certainly an unconventional tag. I get the feeling that all things are not peachy with Team Clow." Sakura the martial artist used this opportunity to tag out with Shingo, since she needed a rest after her impressive ki-expenditure. "Be careful, alright?" she said. "Remember his time card, and don't try that stupid James thing again!" Shingo sighed. "Yeah, I know. Don't worry," he smiled reassuringly. "I'll be fine." "Are you two lovebirds done chatting yet?" asked Shaoran sarcastically. "It's not like that!" said Shingo, turning bright red. "We're just friends!" said Sakura, turning bright red. "Pay attention to the fight!" Shaoran yelled. "Fire!" Shingo rolled away from Shaoran's fire cone and got to his feet, patting out a few flames. "Nice one," said Shingo. "Wanna try that again?" "Hmph. Why not? Fire!" Another fire blast flew away from Shaoran's sword, but this time Shingo was ready. He leapt through the air and planted a jumping kick in the middle of Shaoran's forehead. The crowd exploded, cheering the hit. "Rule number one when facing a copy fighter: never be predictable." Shingo posed, as his speech was as much for the audience as Shaoran. "That kick was Anything Goes style; arial attacks are their specialty. Any move you use, I can find a move to counter. I don't need my book for everything!" "And Shingo gives Shaoran plenty of time to recover," commented Daisuke. "Smart move." "What about your stupid changing costume?" taunted Shaoran. "Are you going to try and pretend you're a decent fighter again?" "Ha, I'm not even wearing that thing tonight. I can fight just fine without! Shingo flurry!" he yelled as he flew forward. Before he could get within reach, however, Li drew his sword and stabbed Shingo in the stomach. Thankfully for the copy-fighter, the sword was blunted, but it still stopped his charge cold. "My sword gives me longer range," said Shaoran as he hit Shingo over and over with his blunted sword. "Don't act like an idiot and charge in half-cocked!" As he yelled the last syllable, Shaoran finished Shingo off with a vicious slash to the head. Somehow though, Shingo managed to block and catch the blade with his arm. Shingo mentally winced. **That's gonna leave a bruise in the morning,** he thought, but right now, he had more pressing matters. Pulling Shaoran towards him with the sword, Shingo transferred his grip to Shaoran's arm in order to get a more solid hold. That accomplished, he opened up a genuine can of whoopass, arm and both legs flying. "Wow, look at Shingo go!" yelled Hiroshi. "That style looks like..." "Muay Thai kickboxing," supplied Daisuke. "Real effective up close; guess he was watching Sagat a lot. Problem is, Shingo lacks Sagat's strength, so the same moves aren't going to be quite as effective." "They sure look like they're effective, Dai!" enthused Hiroshi. "Shingo's giving Shaoran a first-class mauling!" The crowd seemed to agree with Hiroshi, and in a very positive way. "Well, yeah, but Shaoran's a kid. If it was Sagat delivering those hits, Shaoran'd be unconscious by now." True to Sagat's style, Shingo finished his combo with a vicious headbutt, but ended up doing as much damage to himself as he did to Shaoran. Clutching his head with his good arm, Shingo forgot to disarm Shaoran of his sword before letting him fall back into the ropes. "Ow, ow, ow," said Shingo, trying to move lightly again. "That's the last time I incorporate a headbutt into a combo. Ouch! What the heck kind of skull did Sagat have, anyway?" "There's... a trick... to headbutts," said Shaoran haltingly as he rose to his feet, supported by his sword. "They always hurt you... as well as your opponent... but..." Now fully standing, Shaoran lifted his sword until it was parallel to the ground, and pointed it straight at Shingo. "A good fighter," he continued, "Learns to ignore the pain, and is no longer bothered by it. I am that fighter. Time card!" he yelled, pulling the magic talisman out. Shingo rushed in, but didn't think he'd get there in- "Speed me up five times normal!" Shaoran finished. -time. From there, it went pretty much how you'd expect it. Shaoran, only a green blur, beat the living daylights out of Shingo, right smack dab in the middle of the ring. The assault didn't last as long as it usually did, probably because Shaoran was running out of steam, but it lasted long enough. When it was over, Shingo was bleeding in several places, and visibly bruised in many others. Shaoran was next to him, leaning on his sword and panting heavily. The crowd rained boos on the young magician, universally denouncing his vicious tactics. "Wow, Shaoran just beat Shingo into the ground! Come on, Shingo, you can't let it end like this!" implored Hiroshi from the announcer's table. "Impartiality, remember, Roshi?" said Daisuke rather half-heartedly, knowing exactly how pointless it was. Mary walked towards the center of the ring, pausing only to fix Shaoran with a stare. "That wasn't very nice," she said, and returned her gaze to Shingo. "One," said Mary as she began the count-out. "Two. Three." A chant of "SHINGO, SHINGO, SHINGO," began to echo around the Ultradome, as thousands of fans tried to will their hero back on his feet. "Four." Out of the corner of his eye, Shaoran saw Mary begin to walk towards Sakura's corner. For a second he thought about it, but chose to ignore it; he was too tired to worry about the silly ref. The crowd, however, surged even louder. "Five. Six." Shaoran frowned. He didn't know where Mary was going, but she wasn't anywhere near where Shingo was lying. Where Shingo was lying. Suddenly, it hit him. Standing up and whirling around, he saw that Shingo had crawled halfway to his corner, where his partner waited to switch in. "Not a chance!" yelled Shaoran, bringing his sword up. **Fight through the pain, until it goes away. Ignore the pain, and it WILL go away,** he thought. Shingo managed to stand up, stopping the countout, but was obviously in no condition to defend himself. Still, he managed a lurching half-run for his corner. "God of thunder, answer my call! THUNDER!" The blast stopped Shingo dead in his tracks, as he screamed in pain. Still, he wouldn't fall, and Shaoran kept the lightning firmly fixed on his opponent. Just feet away, Sakura tried to reach her partner, but he was barely holding on, and traveling any further forward was out of the question. On the other side of the ring, the other Sakura tried to get Shaoran's attention, to make him stop, or to do something. "Please, Li! Stop this! You're just making things worse!" she cried, but everything she said was ignored by Shaoran, who was only focused on winning. "Wow!" exclaimed Hiroshi. "Shaoran is just unloading on Shingo! How is he even standing up?" "I have no idea," replied Daisuke. Then, the young Sakura remembered. **("Sometimes, you have to take a step back to take a step forward.")** **("A step back... to take a step forward?" said Sakura hesitantly, not entirely comprehending.)** **("Exactly," replied Mary. "It's like what you did just now: before you could get on with your life and helping Li, you had to cry away your frustration and anger. Remember that; sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forwards. Not every goal can be reached in a straight line.")** **I'm trying, Mary,** she thought, **But I can't do anything! How can I help him? What am I supposed to do?** **("You have to stop being a bystander and start taking action.)** In the ring, Shingo fell down, now crouching on his hands and knees. **Action is one thing, but what action am I supposed to take?** thought Sakura. **How can I help Shaoran without hurting everyone else?** **(Sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forwards. Not every every goal can be reached in a straight line.)** **(Sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forwards.)** **(backwards before you can go forwards.)** **(backwards before forwards.)** **(backwards)** **(backwards)** **(backwards)** **(backwards)** **(backwards)** **(before forwards)** Sakura's eyes snapped open. "WINDY! Blow Li out of the ring!" The clow card rushed at Shaoran, picking him up and hurling him out of the ring so far that he crashed into the crowd barrier. He didn't get up. For a moment, the Ultradome was silent. Just a moment... And then a massive wave of cheers rocked the dome to it's foundations, so loud it was almost a physical force. "Is that legal?" asked Hiroshi excitedly. "Can we get a ruling here? Does Sakura's attack count as outside interference?" "Nope," replied Daisuke, "There's no rule against punking out your own partner. It's a dirty trick, but there's nothing against it. I doubt Shaoran will be too happy when he wakes up, though." Mary began the countout again. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Team Clow is defeated!" "SAKURA! SAKURA!" the crowd chanted over and over. "And while Team Clow might have lost this fight, we know that the real winner here is Sakura!" enthused Hiroshi. "She's finally found the courage to take down her vicious partner!" "Which is both ironic and true, since one Sakura won the fight and the other finally stood up to her partner," replied Daisuke. "However you interpret it, the fans seem to be in full cheer mode now. No doubt we'll be seeing commemorative 'When Sakura beat Shaoran' posters any second now." "You never know, Dai! Anything's possible in Ultra!" "Roshi, don't make me come up with another counter-quote. Let's just get on with the next match." "Sure thing, Dai! Now, we bring to you fans the final Pokemon battle, where the myriad friendships and rivalries between the many contenders are settled once and for all!" Hiroshi smiled as the crowd rocked the Ultradome in anticipation. "Until next week, when they have to be settled once and for all again," interrupted Daisuke. "Lets face it: as long as the crowd likes this form of glorified cockfighting, we'll be seeing it over and over." "Relax, Dai! And no, that's not a catch-phrase." "It had better not be, Roshi. Otherwise I'll have to think up some semi- witty retort to slap on a T-shirt." Hiroshi sweatdropped nervously. "Anyway, fighting together for the first time after numerous fights between them, the two biggest things to come out of Pallet Town since... since... well, ever, really. Let's hear it for the impromptu Lambda team of Gary and Ash!" The two pokemon trainers walked down the ramp to a mix of boos and cheers, staying as far apart from each other as possible and doing their level best to pretend that the other didn't even exist. "And it seems as though this team may be in early trouble," Hiroshi stated. "They might end up having a big problem with teamwork if this relationship continues." "Which should be no surprise, since these two have hated each other's guts since long before they came to Ultra. I'm wondering what's happened to Ash, since we haven't seen him since he zapped Yaga's cronies at the UltraRage." Daisuke paused. "Now, what overly dramatic entrance are their opponents going to make?" On que, the lights went out, and the Ultradome speakers came to life, belting out (of all things) "We're Gonna Party Like It's 1999." "And a new song begins playing! What could this mean? Has there been a last-minute substitution? Are we going to see a whole new team?" "Wait a minute," said Daisuke. "Isn't this song by... Oh no, they wouldn't..." The UltraTron flared to life, showing a bizarre fusion between the letter R and a Pokeball. "Oh god, they did..." said Daisuke, holding his head in his hands. "I can't believe they did this..." "Prepare for trouble!" said a lone figure, standing just under the strange symbol. "And make it double!", replied another figure as it joined the first. "To protect the world from music that's good!" "To sing some lyrics that are awfully lewd!" "To denounce the use of actual names!" "To wear sequins and lace and other thangs!" ("Ouch, that rhyme's a stretch," said Daisuke.) "Jessie!" "James!" Pyro exploded all around as both figures leapt from their positions under the UltraTron, landing just outside the ring. The lights flashed on, revealing both to be clad in frilly, sequined clothes that could only be described using words like "wussy" or "girly." On the front of their "uniforms" was the same symbol that currently lit up the giant screen behind them. "The Team Formerly Known As Rocket sings at the speed of light!" "Surrender now, or prepare to fight!" "I'm about ready knock out someone's lights!" said Daisuke pointedly at his ecstatic co-announcer, who was currently standing on the table clapping. "Well, if it isn't Team Cheater," said Ash into his mike (conveniently carried in from offstage). "I can't take my eyes off you for a second. It took me almost a week to figure out what you did! You were imitating my mother on the phone just so you could distract me! How low can you get, huh?" "Uh... we didn't-" started Jessie before she was rudely cut off. "Of course you did!" said Ash as he turned his back on them in the ultimate show of contempt. "I've seen all your cheating disguises and voice tricks! You did it, and now I'm going to make you pay! What's more, I won't need a partner. So Gary, why don't you just crawl back to Pallet Town where you belong? It'll save me the trouble of kicking your butt now, since we both know-" The bell rang. ][ LAMBDA MATCH #2 ][ POKEMON GRUDGE MATCH ][ GARY AND ASH vs THE TEAM FORMERLY KNOWN AS ROCKET ][ FIGHT! Ash turned back around in shock to see Gary and James ready to face off in the ring. "What... hey, you cheaters! Don't start the match before I'm ready!" "Oh, just take a break, Ash," said Gary. "We don't want or need your paranoid delusions here." Gary smiled. "Why don't you just crawl back to Pallet Town where you belong?" "You're just jealous, you cheater! I should have known better than to turn my back on you, even for a second! You deserve what's coming to you!" Ash fingered a pokeball in his hand. "Raichu, I choose you!" Ash yelled as he hurled his ball. Raichu appeared, balanced on one of the posts. "Now, Team Enlightenment! Give these cheaters a beating they'll remember!" Haomaruh and Morrigan leapt from the rafters, sword and wing extended and ready to strike. James, looking up, squealed and hurdled over the ropes, letting the two attacks smash harmlessly into the mat. **He moved quickly,** thought Morrigan. **So quickly, it's almost like...** Almost like he knew it was coming. "Alakazam! Hitmonlee! Hitmonchan! Raichu! Super coordinated takedown attack!" yelled Gary as he threw out three of his most used pokemon. Two steel folding chairs hovered in front of a surprised Team Enlightenment, before being smashed inwards by two martial arts monkeys, who jumped quickly away to avoid being blasted by Raichu, who pumped about 10,000 volts through the chairs and into the two maligned fighters. Sliding under the ropes, Ash moved to the center of the ring and flashed the audience a big smile and V sign, before saying a single word. "Gotcha." The crowd went wild, cheering for all it was worth before Ash began to motion for silence. "I hope my act tonight hasn't fooled too many of you," he said. "I wanted to make sure I could counter what Yaga had planned, and that meant playing along for a while." Ash dropped his smile, face becoming serious. "I know that... I've been a bit of a jerk lately, and it took a lot to finally snap me out of it. I know I've alienated a lot of you, and it's going to take more than an apology to fix it again. But this is the pledge I should have made at the Ultrarage: if you're willing to give me another chance, then I'll do my best to make amends. What do you say?" "Ash! Ash! Ash!" yelled Hiroshi, as he jumped onto his table. The cheer started small and scattered, but grew, as thousands of fans who remembered the good Ash from long ago joined in. "Thank you," said Ash, "And now it's up to me to deliver on that promise. But don't worry, we've still got something planned for you now!" "That's right," said Jessie. "Not a pokemon grudge match, but a pokemon exhibition match, old school style!" "Right!" said Ash. "One on one, pokemon league rules, three pokemon max. None of my new steel pokemon for now, but hear this, Yaga! We WILL be coming after you soon!" The crowd cheered, both for the fight and for Ash's bold declaration of war. "I think I'll gracefully bow out," said Gary. "Team Rocket was never my rival. But we'll have to have a showdown sometime soon, Ashy-boy." "I think not," said Yaga's gigantic face on the Ultratron. "Booking is meant to be done by the professionals, not by some kid fighters who think they know better." Let's just say that Yaga's pronouncement didn't exactly receive a ringing endorsement from the crowd. "I CONCUR," said a slightly charred but still LEGENDARY warrior. "That's right, you kids can't just waltz in and pick your own matches," agreed a slightly charred but still sexy succubus. "You can't intimidate us, Yaga!" yelled James (from a reasonably safe distance). "We'll fight how we want to fight!" "I'm afraid this is completely unacceptable," said Yaga, friendly smile still firmly affixed. "Still, if it makes you happy... go ahead, have this mock battle. l can promise you that your matches over the coming weeks shall be far more... how should I say it..." Yaga paused, and his smile turned from reassuring into what could only be described as predatory. "Perhaps the word I am searching for here is 'demanding.' Have a nice fight," Yaga said as he disappeared. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again," said Hiroshi. "WOW! After an out of the blue face turn for young Ash, Yaga puts him and his recently- regained friends on the top of his hit list!" "Well, you shouldn't exactly be surprised on either count," replied Daisuke. "After that kind of humiliation, I'm sure Team Enlightenment must be aching for revenge." "THAT WE ARE," said Haohmaru as he and his partner tromped out of the ring. "AND WE WILL SOON PAY BACK WHAT WE OWE!" "Oh, relax, Haohmaru," said his partner. "Let them enjoy their false victory for now. It makes their defeat all the sweeter." "Alright then, where were we?" asked Ash. "Right about to start!" said Mary cheerfully. "Good, clean fight and all that. Begin!" ][ LAMBDA MATCH #2 (TAKE 2) ][ POKEMON EXHIBITION MATCH ][ ASH vs THE TEAM FORMERLY KNOWN AS ROCKET ][ FIGHT! "Since this is old school, then let's fight like it! Arbok, I choose you!" said Jessie as she hurled out her chosen pokemon. "Bulbasaur, old friend, I choose you!" "Wow," began Hiroshi, "They both pull out-" "Not their best pokemon," finished Gary. "Mind if I grab a mike? I'm not gonna be fighting, so I figure announcing's the next best thing." "Sorry," said Hiroshi, "But we don't have a spare." "Take mine," said Daisuke as he handed it over. "I'd rather play Advance Wars than watch a fight that promises to be just like every other pokemon battle ever." "Thanks, pal," said Gary. "Anyway, you're right that neither of them will be pulling their best moves out there, but it should still be an interesting show." "What about indomitable spirit?" asked Hiroshi. "What about the unbreakable will to win?" "What about the desire to not hurt your friend?" countered Gary. "Hmm, I guess that one's pretty strong too," admitted Hiroshi. "Razorleaf attack!" yelled Ash, which was countered by a "Bite attack!" As Arbok charged in, it took a lot of good hits from the razorleaf, but it's scales provided the protection it needed to get in close and pounce. Bulbasaur managed to dodge the venomous fangs, but just barely; many weeks of not fighting or training had taken their toll. "Now, tailwhip!" commanded Jessie, and her snake pokemon obeyed, smacking Bulbasaur into the ropes. "Now transition into a wrap attack!" "Bulbasaur, get up! Dodge!" yelled Ash, but his pokemon was again too slow, as Arbok wrapped around it, squeezing tight. "Ouch," commented Gary. "You can really see that lack of care has weakened Ash's pokemon a lot. He spend the last two weeks training and making up to them, but it just wasn't enough. He'll really have to work to get them the way they were before." "Yeah, but I'm sure he's up to the challenge!" enthused Hiroshi. "He'd better be," replied Gary. "After all, there's no point in having a rival to keep one step ahead of if the rival isn't any good." "Alright, you've got me," said Ash goodnaturedly. "Bulbasaur, return!" Arbok loosened its grip, allowing the beaten pokemon to be recalled without interference. "Now, Squirtle, I choose you! Watergun attack!" commanded Ash. The stream hit Arbok almost dead center, knocking it backwards. "Arbok!" yelled Jessie, "Use the ropes to bounce into the air!" True to command, the snake curled up like a spring and hit the top rope. Using the rebound and springing off it's tail, it became a temporary flying type as it headed downwards at Squirtle, tail ready to share the gift of temporary flight with the small turtle. "Quick, Squirtle, Withdraw!" Squirtle popped into his shell, and just in time; Arbok's tail sent it off like a hockey puck, right into the ropes. Newtonian laws took over the rest, sending an equal and opposite reaction in the form of a retracted squirtle right at Arbok's face. Squirtle smashed into Arbok, sending the snake to the mat. Now at a relative standstill, Squirtle popped back out of his shell with a "Squirtle Squirtle" and landed, posing for the crowd (even pokemon like to look cool). "Arbok, return!" said Jessie. "James?" "My turn!" said James. "Wheezing, I choose you! Smog attack!" "Don't let him finish, Squirtle! Hydropump, now!" Going back into it's shell, Squirtle span around rapidly, spewing water out of all five holes. The barrage didn't work as well against the smog as a gust would have, but it worked well enough, and it pushed Wheezing back against the ropes. "Wheezing, ramming attack!" commanded James. Once again proving that Newton is a pokemon's best friend, Wheezing used the ropes to accelerate it's ramming attack quickly, and nailed Squirtle just as it popped out of it's shell. "Oh, no! Squirtle, return!" Ash looked up slowly. "Now, I guess I'm down to one. I suppose it's only fitting that I choose the pokemon I've had the longest, who liked me the most for the least reason, and who somehow likes me still, even after the horrible things I've done to him. So, if you don't bear me any grudge... Raichu, I choose you! Thundershock attack!" "Raichu chu!" (translation: "I'd be glad to!") "RAI... CHU!" (translation: "Thundershock!" (what, you don't think pokemon like to scream out attack names just as much as humans?)) "Wheezing... uh," James said as he tried to think of any attack the slow- moving pokemon had that would be able to defend against a thundershock. "Um... brace yourself?" James said rather hopelessly. Indeed, Wheezing took a full blast and fell to the ground, after which James recalled him. "So," said Ash, "Who's gonna be your last pokemon, huh? You think any of them has a chance against Raichu here?" "Well," said James. "As long as we're going old school style... We might as well go for broke, right Jessie? Victreebel, I choose you! Ow ow ow ow ow!" he yelled as his pokemon began chowing down on trainer (nutritional and leaves plenty of room for desert), coincidentally getting some nice laughs from the crowd. "Well, not exactly the most brilliant strategic move by James," Gary criticized. "But I guess it's more of a style thing than really going for the win." "What are you talking about?" asked Hiroshi. "This is obviously a brutal and exciting battle for supremacy between..." Hiroshi trailed off. "Well, yeah, I guess your right. But that doesn't make it any less exciting!" "Look, Victreebel, there's a delectable Raichu over there! Tasty, right?" James said, trying to convince his pokemon to go and bite the enemy. Looking rather dubious, but willing to try, Victreebel obligingly hopped off of James' head and began to rush. "Well, if you insist... thundershock attack!" commanded Ash. "Stun spores!" cried James. A golden mist flew out of the giant plant, coating the entire area around where Raichu stood. "RAI... CHuuuuu...." it said, letting the thunder dissipate as it collapsed into a sleeping pile. James flashed a V sign to the audience, making them cheer even louder. "Since we can't stand up to Raichu's power directly, we just have to go around!" "That's right!" agreed his partner. "Any faint counts, so stunning is the way to win!" "Ouch," said Gary. "That tactic's a little underhanded. It's certainly legal, though." "What are you talking about? That was a brilliant tactic! Go Team Rocket! Er, Team Formerly Known As Rocket!" marked Hiroshi. "Well, nice fight, guys," said Ash graciously as he recalled Raichu. "I've really gotta work on my old pokemon so more. I neglected them for so long... But, anyway, good win, and I'll see you around!" Waving goodbye to the crowd, Ash took an exit stage left to wholehearted cheers, and was followed by the team of the every-changing name. "Well," said Hiroshi, "Talk about a fight! That was-" "Boring," interrupted Daisuke as he took back his microphone. "Thanks for the save, Gary. Anyway, it's time for a short commercial break. I'd ask you not to change that dial, but I know it won't matter." * * * * * "I hope you guys had fun too," said Ash, "Because that was the easy part. Now comes the nasty, kick-in-the-gut hard part." "Yeah, I know," replied Gary. "Find as many fighters as we can as quickly as we can. It doesn't matter if we can't get to the ring ourselves, as long as we put in a good showing outside." "Right," said Ash. "Yaga may have Alberto on standby, so see if you can get an Omega fighter to help. Dan's a good choice, but Washuu, Lina, and Naga are all fine too." "It'll cost us," said Jessie. "Dan would help for free, but the other three would want something in return." "Washuu might not," corrected James. "It does have to do with her daughter." Ash shook his head. "It doesn't matter how much it costs, but we'll need one. Good luck guys. I'm gonna head over and round up a few fighters whose location I can guess: Shingo and Sakura'll be at the hospital. They won't be in top shape, but we'll take what we can get." "Yeah, good luck, Ashy," said Gary. "May this all work out for the best." * * * * * "And now, Ultra fans, we're back, and we bring to you a battle of power and destruction such as never before seen!" hyped Hiroshi. "Two former friends, teacher and student, mentor and, uh, mentee, have been torn apart, and will now settle their differences on the battle field!" "Oh woe," deadpanned Daisuke. "Poor Darshu and Yuffie, that their loving relationship has come to this." "Isn't that right, Dai!" replied Hiroshi, either oblivious to the sarcasm or ignoring it. "This match will be the first Omega level I quit in Ultra history. We should see ultraviolence to top all ultraviolence out there, as Yuffie and Darshu try to top the other in inflicting pain! It'll be like nothing we've ever seen!" "Except that Omega matches already bypass most rules, so this one really won't be that much different. Besides, like I said before, Yuffie and Darshu are the tag team of Omega, and they probably haven't even split." "Well, we'll find out soon enough," said Hiroshi, "Because the match is about to start!" "Joy and rapture," deadpanned Daisuke. "Let's get it over with, I mean, on. Begin the video feed from generic desert planet # who cares." * * * * * The scene: generic desert planet # who cares. The lone figure: referee Ifurita (although her purpose was somewhat pointless, considering the rule change). The entrance: two standard Ultra portals. The fighters: Dark Schneider and his former pupil, Yuffie Kisaragi. "So, Yuffie," began Darshu. "Did you really think I'd just leave you alone to go your separate way?" "Nah, I figured I'd have to kick your old geezer ass pretty soon. But since you've obviously lost your edge, it's not that big a deal." "Is that so?" asked Darshu condescendingly. "Well, Yuffie, if that's the way you want it, who am I to argue? I might have taught you everything you know... but you'll soon see that I didn't teach you everything I know!" Judging that the trash talk had gone on long enough, Ifurita spoke up. "The battle will begin now. Start." ][ OMEGA MATCH #2 ][ ESTRANGED PARTNER MATCH, I QUIT RULES ][ DARK SCHNEIDER vs YUFFIE KISARAGI ][ FIGHT! "Feel the pain!" yelled Darshu as he charged. "Raven! Barvolt!" "Heh. Reflect!" countered Yuffie. Darshu, already airborne, easily dodged the lightning that bounced back at him as he drew his sword. "Somehow, I knew that was coming. Take this! Barvolt blade!" he yelled, and lightning exploded around his sword. Yuffie laughed. "I remember that useless trick from when you took my belt! Going senile, old man?" Yuffie brought up her boomerang and blocked Darshu's strike. "Ooh, that tickle- AHHHHHHHH!" "Word of advice, Yuffie," smiled Darshu. "Just because it's a useless trick the first time, doesn't mean it won't be a real attack the next! I'm sorry, is this lesson a little too painful for you?" ("So, looks like they're still on the same team, huh, Dai?" "I'll do the sarcasm around here, Roshi.") "QUAKE!" yelled Yuffie. The shaking earth knocked them apart and dealt some damage to Darshu before he got airborne with a quick Raven. "Nice one. Damned!" Darshu yelled, hurling his fireball at Yuffie. "I've got reflect, remember?" Yuffie laughed, just before the attack hit the ground in front of her, blasting her off her feet. "Reflect isn't foolproof girl; know its limits!" Even before the dust had settled, Darshu was already charging up his next attack. "Riooto!" he yelled, and a fierce storm of lightning exploded around Yuffie's last position. "I wonder if that'll take her out?" Darshu thought aloud. ("Still think they're just having an exhibition match?" asked Hiroshi rather pointedly. "Alright already, I admit it, I was wrong. Why don't you gloat a little more? Still, the fight is pretty one-sided so far." "Doubtless, Yuffie is just planning some new super-strategy!" "I think she's just running scared, Roshi.") Darshu let the lightning storm die down, and flew down along the beaten ground looking for Yuffie. "Hmmm... well, if she could be taken out that easily, I would never have chose her as my pupil." "Ice 3!" ambushed Yuffie. "Exodus!" countered Darshu, erupting into a pillar of flame. The wizard smashed through the giant block of ice forming above his head before going straight for Yuffie, who ducked into the ground as soon as he got near. "Whu-" said Darshu intelligently as he shot right past. "Bolt 3!" yelled Yuffie from behind. Darshu swerved aside, but couldn't dodge the entire blast, and was knocked spinning into the sand. **Of course, she was hiding in the ground! She must have adapted her Quake materia.** Rolling over onto his back, Schnieder threw up his hands. "Anthem!" he cried, shooting out his magic arrows. Yuffie, meanwhile, just stood smiling as they bounced off her reflect. **Damnit, how could I have forgotten about that?** Darshu cursed. "Anthem!" he yelled again, canceling out his previous spell. "Take this, Schneider! EDEN!" Darshu suddenly got a very serious feeling of Deja-vu, as the whole world turned black and began to spin. Thankfully, it was a good Deja-vu. "Sage from beyond, take the seven keys and open the gates of hell! Turn my enemy to ashes!" Darshu easily got the chant off in the time it took the Eden summon to fire. In fact, he had to wait for a few moments to let the summon catch up (no telling if his spell could actually damage it, or if it would just be a wasted shot). "Helloween!" he finished, just as the giant summon shot its own attack. Energy met energy, canceling out quite nicely. "Now then, Yuffie. Where were we?" he asked politely. "Er... Quake!" "Bad move! Raven! Dispel! Anthem!" yelled Darshu, hurling off three spells in quick succession. Yuffie dived out of her foxhole and began a valiant attempt to run from deadly guided bullets. She managed to dodge most of the shots, but a couple nailed her in the side, knocking her to the ground. Using her Cure 3 spell, Yuffie healed most of the damage, and rose to see Darshu looking somewhat amused. "Since when can you cast dispel?" she asked incredulously. "Why, ever since I stole a dispel materia from you." Darshu's grin widened. "It must be a shock for you to know that another thief outdid you." "Grrr... stupid old man! Fire 3!" "Raven!" Darshu shot out of the gathering fireblast easily, heading straight for Yuffie. "Barvolt sword!" he yelled swinging his sword in a large back- hand arc which Yuffie easily dodged. "Getting slow-urk," Yuffie half taunted as Darshu's free hand clamped down on her throat. "Gunsn-Roh!" Darshu yelled, concentrating the usually defensive firewall onto Yuffie. His former pupil writhed in pain, but she couldn't gather enough concentration to use any of her materia. "You know what your biggest flaw is, Yuffie? You underestimate me. If you didn't take time out to taunt, you might have a better chance. Instead, I can draw you in with obvious mistakes." Darshu smiled wickedly at the screaming Yuffie. "I don't think you're listening. Do you know what inattentive pupils get?" Darshu dropped the Gunsn-Roh spell and tossed Yuffie up into the air. "I'm on fire! Archenemy!" Darshu cast with a smile, and swirling flames surrounded his arm. WHAM! Yuffie landed on an uppercut, which was quickly followed up by a hook, backfist, and spinning backfist, all with the same flaming hand. Yuffie was beaten, burned, and very badly hurt. Losing wasn't entirely new to her; after all, she HAD been hired as a jobber. If there's one thing she knew, it's when to throw in the towel, and now was definitely that time. "I q-" WHAM! Archenemy spell still going, the exploder wizard smashed Yuffie in the mouth before she could finish. "You're not getting out of this that easily, girl. Not after what you did to me." Running forward, he kicked his former pupil into the air and smashed her back down with his flaming fist. "I-" Yuffie began again, but was interrupted by a Barvolt from Darshu. "I said, you're not getting out of this that easily! This is what you get when you backstab me!" Darshu yelled. "Barvolt!" "Shield," said Ifurita, blocking the attack with an energy wall. "What do you think you're doing?" roared Darshu. "I'm in the middle of a match here, ref!" "The match is over," responded Ifurita. "Yuffie has forfeited." "No she hasn't!" responded Darshu in a rage. "She hasn't said 'I quit' yet!" "No, but as referee, it is my job to interpret her intentions, and my interpretation is that she intended to forfeit. If you do not like my ruling, you may submit your arguments and I will give them my full and unbiased consideration." "Uh huh," said Darshu skeptically. "Would that happen to be Technique #34, lying through your teeth?" "Possibly," replied Ifurita without the slightest trace of emotion. "Oh well, I guess it was a nice fight while it lasted. See ya round, Yuffie; I'm sure there'll be plenty more times for me to kick your ass." Darshu calmly walked towards the nearby portal, leaving Ifurita to take Yuffie to the hospital. * * * * * "Talk about WOW! That was an Ultrocious fight if I ever saw one, right Dai?" enthused Hiroshi. "Well, if by 'Ultrocious' you mean 'painfully one sided,' then yeah, I'd agree with that," replied Daisuke with typical fervor. "Still, we've got one last match coming up between Akane and a unknown, scary, mystery contender." "That's right, Dai! Who will the insidious Yaga book against our reigning Gamma champ? Whoever it is, I'm sure Akane will rise to the challenge!" "Impartiality, Roshi, impartiality." Daisuke sighed. "Why do I even bother? " "Good question, Dai! We'll be back with the fight after this short break." * * * * * Naration: History lasts forever, but great moments are transitory. Epic moments that live on in our hearts and souls are rare and treasured moments. This is why, when a chance comes to own a piece of such a moment, we must grasp it with both hands. In this spirit, we bring to you this commemorative "When Sakura beat Shaoran" poster! Don't let this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity pass you by. Get yours today from, available at a steal from a local Ultra merchandise distributor near you. * * * * * Generally, the first shot upon returning to Ultra is not Daisuke banging his head against the announcer's table. Still, the exception does prove the rule... "Wow, Dai, either you have their number or they have yours. And we're back, ladies and gentlemen!" said Hiroshi, once again demonstrating his incredible ability to switch gears on the fly. "We're about to dive right into the first and only Gamma match of the night, where the new champion Akane is put to the test against a mystery contender! The Gamma belt is up for grabs, but you won't want to get up for a second, unless it's to cheer!" "Make that up yourself, did you, Roshi?" commented a still angry Daisuke. "Yep! Now, here she comes now! Get ready for the star of our match! The girl who took the Gamma division by storm, Akane 'Roxy' Tendo!" Akane strutted down the ramp to a tremendous blast of cheers. Waving to the crowd, she saw the usual array of signs ranging from the unimaginative ("AKANE ROX!") to the suggestive ("AKANE ROX MY WORLD!") to the downright weird ("AKANE IS ROXING!"). Jumping over the ropes, she struck a pose for the crowd. "Please," said Yaga from the top of the ramp, "Wait until you hear about your opponent before you start celebrating." Yaga ignored both the boos and the thrown objects as he walked towards the ring. "And is seems as though Akane's mystery opponent is none other than the great Yaga himself!" yelled Hiroshi. "What a shocker!" "Roshi, Yaga hasn't said anything yet. Let him speak before you jump to conclusions." "So, Yaga, whaddya have planned for me tonight?" asked Akane. "Don't tell me I get to kick your old butt again?" "Oh, hardly," replied Yaga. "You see, I really think the Gamma belt isn't taken seriously enough. There are so many fighters that deserve a chance at it, you know. So, I've decided to give all those fighters the chance." Yaga took a deep breath. "So, your opponents will be the first five people into the ring, other than yourself. There will be no disqualifications, and fighters who have made it into the ring will be eliminated by knockout or by touching the floor outside the ring. So, in that spirit..." finished Yaga as he ducked under the ropes and onto the canvas. ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs THE GREAT YAGA vs _____ vs _____ vs _____ vs _____ ][ FIGHT! The crowd had just enough time to erupt into boos before all hell broke loose. Mr. Satan, Morrigan, and Haohmaru ran down the ramp in a small phalanx, obviously intent on getting to the ring and forming up with their leader. When a very large and very angry steel snake appeared in front of them, they were rather understandably shocked. "Surprise!" said Ash as he, Shingo, Sakura (older), and Li Ping all jumped out of the crowd. "Didn't expect us here, did you?" In the ring, Akane tossed off a shockwave to stun Yaga. She then closed in and delivered several punches and a kick, but Yaga just soaked up the blows and grabbed her around the waist, delivering a punishing suplex. Akane broke his hold and rolled away, standing up to face the aged wrestler. "This is stupid," said Morrigan as she unfurled her wings. "See you later, kiddies," she said as she flew over Steelix. "Get back here, damnit!" yelled Sakura. "Hadouken!" Her fireball missed wide, and Haohmaru gave her a sword to the side of her head for her trouble. "DON'T FORGET ABOUT US! THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU WILL DEFEAT YOU ALL!" "I'm gonna go give Akane some backup," said Shingo as he ran towards the ring. Just after he had taken a few steps, Morrigan landed. ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs THE GREAT YAGA vs MORRIGAN vs _____ vs _____ vs _____ ][ CONTINUE! "Shingo, wait! You're in no condition to fight yet!" yelled Sakura, but he was already almost at the ring. "Go after him," said Li. "We'll take care of these losers." Hesitating just a moment, Sakura dashed after Shingo just as he hurdled the ropes. ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs THE GREAT YAGA vs MORRIGAN vs SHINGO vs _____ vs _____ ][ CONTINUE! "Soul fist!" Akane looked to the side just in time to see Morrigan's yellow projectile before it hit her. Rolling back to her feet, she narrowly escaped a body-slam by Yaga, only to hit the dirt as another soul fist flew by. Rolling back onto her feet for what seemed like the 30th time in fifteen seconds, Akane rushed Morrigan only to be blindsided by Yaga and pushed against the ropes. "Leave the ring to us professionals," Yaga sneered as he attempted to push Akane over the top rope. The experienced wrestler was the far superior grappler, and he was using that to his fullest advantage. In the other corner, Shingo was trying to break past Morrigan's shield. His initial Shingo Flurry had caught her off-guard, but now she was playing defensively and waiting for him to tire. **The bad part,** thought Shingo, **Is that even though we're both injured, I'm injured a lot more. I've got to find a way to break through!** He switched to Muay Thai, then bounced from Anything Goes to Shotokan to various specialty styles, trying to find something to break past Morrigan's block. Outside the ring, Sakura was about halfway down the ramp when she was gunned down by automatic weapons fire. A grenade followed the bullets, detonating on top of her. Seconds later, a red-clad young girl with a picnic basket dropped down from the rafters and began to sing merrily as she skipped towards the ring. Near the top of the ramp, Li Ping dodged Mr. Satan's punches, using his superior speed to his advantage. Every once in a while, he'd dodge inwards and get in a couple quick hits. He wasn't doing much damage, but the point was not to win, but to keep Mr. Satan away from the ring as long as possible. Haohmaru, meanwhile, was trying to find a way to get at Ash without being crushed by the giant steel snake. Thankfully, Ash was keeping most of his pokemon in reserve so they could be deployed at different areas. Seeing Bulleta on her charming waltz towards the ring, Ash threw out one of his little pals. "Skarmory!" he yelled, "Stop Bulleta from getting near the ring!" Over at the announcer's table, Hiroshi was in overload. "Morrigan-, dodged-, Akane's-, Shingo-, ropes-, Sakura-, avoid-, Skarmory-" "Whoa there, Roshi. Calm down, you're going into shock." "Must- announce- match," said Hiroshi haltingly, before keeling over from sensory overload. "Roshi? Roshi?" asked Daisuke hesitantly. "Oh well, I'm sure he'll be fine. This is definitely not a match to be watching by radio, folks. I'm not even going to try and talk about everything that's going on. If it's not in the ring, I'm not gonna call it." Skarmory tossed off a couple projectile-stars at Bulleta, who nimbly dodged and whipped out her double-uzis, unloading both clips in the direction of the bird. Neither did much damage, and the bird swung in for another pass, this time throwing out stars over a much larger area. Bulleta, however, still managed to dodge them, and tossed a grenade onto Skarmory's back, which exploded and sent the bird crashing into the ground (thankfully just in front of the crowd barrier). Sakura raised herself onto her feet and limped up behind the little red cloaked one, who was staring with rapt attention at her most recent success. "I think it's past your bedtime," said the martial artist before smashing Bulleta over the head with a two-fisted blow. In the ring, Akane realized that she wouldn't be able to push Yaga away, so she tried a risky alternate plan instead. Diving over the top rope, she used her grip to swing back around and under the bottom rope, sliding right through Yaga's legs. At least, that was the plan, but Yaga instantly figured out was she was trying and closed his legs just as Akane was going through. "Gotcha," he said with a smile, rearing back to deliver a falling elbow. It might have been the knockout punch, except... Akane, back firmly planted, exhibited the strength that had so often earned her the title of "tomboy." Akane could bench press nearly four hundred pounds. With the help of an extra-strong bombshell, one old wrestler was nothing. Grabbing both of Yaga's ankles, the combined force of her muscles and ki hurled him out of the ring. Landing heavily, Yaga took several seconds to get back up. When he did rise, he pounded the ground angrily and watched the match. After all, he might still be able to save something... ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs (X)the great yaga(X) vs MORRIGAN vs SHINGO vs _____ vs _____ ][ CONTINUE! Daisuke kept his word, and began to announce the action in the ring. "Akane just blasted Yaga over the ropes, which makes it two to one. I wonder if Morrigan's going to get some help in there soon?" Back at the ramp, Haohmaru managed to jump onto Steelix's back. From there, it was only a quick hop over to Ash, who was distracted with worry over Skarmory's breakdown. A powerful blunted sword to the head made such worries go away, as Ash descended into blissful unconsciousness. "HA HA HA, AS SUCH DO ALL OPPONENTS OF THE LEGENDARY SWORDSMAN HAOHMARU FALL! MY BLADE CLAIMS YET ANOTHER AHHH!" Haohmaru's taunt was cut short by the tail of a very angry Steelix, and the LEGENDARY warrior joined his victim in nothingness. Shingo was obviously beginning to flag, and his attacks were getting weaker and weaker. Morrigan, having had enough turtling for one night, flung her wings wide open, knocking aside Shingo's latest excuse for a punch, and gave the copy-fighter a kick to the chin that set his ears ringing. Spinning in a circle, the succubus batted her opponent over the ropes and into the crowd with an outstretched wing. Eager fans mobbed Shingo and tore his clothes apart, hoping to take home an extra special souvenir. Mr. Satan, tired of running after the aptly-named Li Ping, threw down his hands in disgust and began to run straight for the ring, apparently ignoring his opponent. "Hey, get back here!" yelled Li. "Flying Dragon Kick!" The youth flew towards Mr. Satan with a jumping kick aimed right at his head, but the wrestler ducked the badly telegraphed attack easily, slamming a rising uppercut into Li as he passed overhead. "Dumb gaijin wanna-be," Mr. Satan said as he finished his run to the ring. "I force you to make a move, and you walk right into a punch. Moron." Li landed somewhere in the crowd (suffering the same fate as Shingo) just as Mr. Satan stepped into the ring. ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs (X)the great yaga(X) vs MORRIGAN vs (X)shingo(X) vs MR. SATAN vs _____ ][ CONTINUE! "Uh..." began Daisuke as the medics carted away Hiroshi. "Morrigan just got rid of Shingo, and Satan stepped up to take his place. There's only one more slot to fill-" Daisuke stopped dead as the fighters started to come out of the woodwork. "I am so glad I don't have to announce any of this," he said. Selphie and Zell rushed down a side ramp only to get nailed with a couch from behind. A few tables, dressers, chairs, and other assorted furniture pieces later, they were pretty well buried, and Marlo ran around their "grave," only to get smacked in the back of the head by a white training potty. Jumping over the downed furniture savior, Mousse continued a dash to the ring before seeing that his objective had already been disqualified. "Hey, where'd Shingo go?" he yelled. "I'll teach that jerk to copy my moves! I've got another fourteen fists of the white swan in here for you!" Muttering to himself, Mousse ran straight at Sakura, figuring that she would know where Shingo had gone. Sakura, meanwhile, saw a very angry and very fresh Mousse charging her, and decided to heed the better part of valor. She ran back up the ramp and into the bowels of the Ultradome, dodging chains left and right. In the ring, Akane looked between Morrigan and Mr. Satan with worry. She was still in decent shape, but taking on the two of them wouldn't be easy. **If I can eliminate one quickly,** she thought, **then I had a good chance, but if I let them double-team me, I'll be in trouble.** Putting thought into practice, Akane rushed Mr. Satan. Morrigan, predictably, tossed off a soul fist. As soon as she let go of the projectile, Akane swerved towards her, jumping the energy-bolt and landing a powerful kick on Morrigan's ample chest. Pushing off, Akane followed through with a twirling kick while still in the air, then landed and almost opened up into a major combo before Mr. Satan grabbed her from behind. **Damn, for an big old guy, he's fast!** thought Akane. Morrigan, smiling as only a succubus can, launched into a nasty multi-hit combo. "Morrigan's using Akane like a punching bag, folks," announced Daisuke (who was really getting into a grove without his hyper pal). "Most of the other fighters are either lost in the crowd or unconscious, but there's still one slot left. I'd say that this match is going to Yaga's cronies unless Akane either gets some help quickly or pulls a total reversal." Akane, attempting just that, threw a high kick that knocked Morrigan back and out of her combo. Just as Akane was getting ready to capitalize on her newfound respite, however, Mr. Satan put a suplex on her. With Akane dazed, the former hero easily lifted her back up into position for Morrigan to take further revenge on. This time, Morrigan wasn't fooling around. Around her, bats were forming into a super beam cannon, which was already looking quite menacing. "Hey, wait a minute-" began Mr. Satan, understandably unnerved by the sight of a powerful dark energy gun pointed right at him. "Sorry, but teamwork's never been my strong suit," Morrigan said. As shocked as he was, it should come as no surprise that Mr. Satan's grip was loosened. It wasn't much, but it was enough. Putting all the ki she could muster into a bombshell, and combining that powerful blast with her muscle power, Akane burst out of Mr. Satan's grip and dived to the side, nailing the big wrestler with a leg sweep. Without his footing, Satan was sent flying by the power of Morrigan's blast. Everyone except a single person watched his almost lazy descent towards the ground. That one person was Yaga, and he was too busy attempting to take out the ref with a steel chair to pay attention to Mt. Satan's arc. After all, if she didn't see him fall, than he was still in the match. Rearing up above Mary, he prepared to deliver a metal concussion before he froze dead in his tracks. WHUMP, went Mr. Satan as he hit the ground. Getting up slowly, he looked around. There was a dead silence in the Ultradome, not the heat he expected from his fall. When he saw what it was, he, like everyone else, froze. "If you do not wish to become approximately half the man you were, I would drop that chair immediately," said Sephiroth to Yaga in a very threatening voice. Daisuke stared for a moment. "And it... uh... it appears that Sephiroth has prevented an act of cheating... or maybe he's trying to protect Mary..." Daisuke trailed off. It was times like these when he acutely realized his need for Hiroshi to speculate wildly; Daisuke just couldn't handle that kind of improvisation on his own. Mary turned around. "Oh, hello, Yaga-san. Hello, Sephiroth-san," she said cheerfully, ignoring the still-raised chair and delicately held sword. "Is there something I can help you with, Yaga-san?" "Er, no, you've been doing an excellent job, Mary," the worried booker said as he tossed the chair behind him. "Carry on." "Wise decision," said Sephiroth before removing his sword from Yaga's waist (where did you think it was being held, pervert?) and placing his free hand on Yaga's neck. "I think I should escort you back to your office, Yaga, where I'm sure we will have a wonderfully stimulating conversation." So saying, he and Yaga both disappeared from the ring. Daisuke felt he needed to say something. "Well, it does seem like Sephiroth is protecting Mary... although I'm not even going to try and speculate why. Uh... shouldn't we carry on with the fight?" "Absolutely," said Mary, still just as cheerful as before (perhaps even more cheerful). "Mr. Satan is eliminated. Continue the bout!" ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs (X)the great yaga(X) vs MORRIGAN vs (X)shingo(X) vs (X)mr. satan(X) vs _____ ][ CONTINUE! Wasting no time, Morrigan rushed Akane and began to pummel the weakened fighter. Akane tried to block as many blows as possible, but a lot were getting through her guard; she was just too tired, beaten, and exhausted to put up a good fight. Morrigan wasn't in top shape either, but in comparison she made Akane look like... a badly ganged-up on fighter who was out of reserves and badly in need of a rest. "Akane is putting up a good fight, but it doesn't look like she's got much left," announced Daisuke. "Her whole youth cadre is down, along with most of the other fighters in Ultra, and while we've still got one space left, it looks like it may end up going unfilled." Morrigan, apparently tired of normal attacks, turned her wing into a black blade and slashed out, sending Akane sprawling to the ground with a cut to her left leg. A loud pop sounded, and Morrigan seemed to bask in the disapproval as she advanced on her fallen opponent, both wings gleaming dangerously. "Well, at least it can't get much worse for Akane," said Daisuke. "I mean-" "Hey, did someone order another fighter?" said Tasuki from the top of the ramp. After striking a semi-dramatic pose, he began a lazy walk towards the ring, ignoring the thrown objects and bad noises directed at him. Daisuke sighed. "Well, as usual, I spoke too soon. I doubt Tasuki will have much trouble finishing off the Akane and Morrigan, considering how badly off they are." "Damn," said Morrigan angrily. "Truce against the new guy?" she asked Akane. "Yeah, right. You take me for an idiot?" asked Akane as she laboriously got to her feet. "I can take you both on... just watch!" "Uh huh, I believe you. Well, at least I'll take you out before he gets here. The demoness charged forward, wings outstretched and sharpened, poised to cut off any route of escape. **I could jump her if I wasn't in such bad shape,** thought Akane. **My left leg is practically useless... maybe I can try a throw, but against those sharp wings, I doubt I'll be able to pull it off... even if I manage it, she'll juts fly back... Oh well, here goes!** Getting ready, Akane set up for a rolling throw, one of the most basic throws she knew. Timing was everything... even a split second wrong, and she'd loose what little chance she had... Akane never even had a chance. "TENSHIN AMAGURKIEN!" yelled a familiar voice as the owner fell from the rafters, nailing the unprepared Morrigan with dozens of punches, using the force from each hit to stay airborne. Once the attack was finished, the new warrior dropped to the mat, letting the succubus stumble backwards. After the trademark attack, it came as no surprise that he turned out to be the one and only Ranma. "MOUKO TAKABISHA!" he yelled, hurling a ball of ki at Morrigan's stomach. At full strength, she could have weathered the blast, but weakened, she was knocked backwards into the ropes. Even so, Morrigan wasn't out of it yet. She might have used some amazing tactic and/or super attack to knock her two opponents out of the ring. However, what finally did Morrigan in was her two razor-sharp wings which sliced through the top two ropes easily, leaving the bottom one for her to trip over on her way out of the ring. On the plus side, though, Morrigan's well-padded rear cushioned her fall pretty well. ][ GAMMA MATCH #1 ][ AKANE vs (X)the great yaga(X) vs (X)morrigan(X) vs (X)shingo(X) vs (X)mr. satan(X) vs RANMA ][ CONTINUE! "Alright," said Daisuke, "I'll admit it. That deserved a wow. Ranma becomes the last contender, and eliminates Morrigan while he's at it. And to make it even better, that finish was about as ironic as anything I've ever seen." "Hey, Akane, how're you doing?" said Ranma happily. "As soon as I found out what that creep Yaga was planning, I ran down here to give you an assist." "Heh... guess I still need to be rescued, huh..." said Akane sadly. "Oh, no, you've got it all wrong!" backpedaled Ranma. "You handled this great. I mean, you took out Yaga AND Satan with practically no help; not being able to finish off the last one isn't any shame. Heck, even I would have trouble doing that, and if I brag that little, you KNOW it's gotta be hard," Ranma finished with a self-mocking smile. "Yeah," replied Akane, "If you don't say that a fight will be easy, then you'll be lucky to walk away in one piece." "Hey!" yelled Tasuki. "Break it up in there! That's my damn spot you're taking, Ranma!" "Sorry, but it's mine now," said Ranma. "You shoulda ran, Tasuki. Now, I'm trying to have a heart-to-heart here, so would you butt out?" Tasuki fumed. He raged. He almost whipped out his fan to try and torch them both. But there wasn't really any point, was there? "Ah, what the hell, the spot's taken and I can't get it back," said Tasuki, his anger cooling. "I'll have to torch you guys some other time. Just one thing before I go. Rekka Shinen!" Whipping out his fan, Tasuki hurled a fireblast over the ring, which hung there forming a the word "Lovebirds" until it faded out. "Real cute, Tasuki," said Ranma. "Ah, no biggie. Just figured I'd help out, that's all," he replied before turning away and walking back up the ramp. "Wait," said Daisuke, "Did Tasuki actually do something almost nice for a change?" Pausing for a moment, he tried his best to imitate Hiroshi's voice. "Could this be the start of a new future for him?" he said, before switching back to his own monotone. "I doubt it. He'll be back to old form next week. Besides, he did promise to torch Ranma for taking his spot, although I'm not sure why exactly he wants the belt so badly." Then Daisuke leaned back in his chair and sighed. "It's just not the same without Roshi," he said, happy that his partner would (probably) be fine in a day or two. "Now that he's done, Ranma," said Akane as she stood up, "Let's finish this fight. I can take you!" "Oh, be honest, Akane, you couldn't take your shadow right now," taunted Morrigan from outside the ring. "You've got even less of a chance than I did." "Why you..." began Akane. "Now, I hate to agree with miss fanservice over there, but you're in no condition to fight, Akane," said Ranma. "So, how about we finish this at Reboot? Just you and me, one on one?" Akane smiled. This was exactly what she had wanted from here fiance: respect. "Of course! As long as you don't chicken out before then." Yaga's face lit up the Ultratron. "I am afraid that I can't allow fighters to book their own matches. After all, this organization runs or orderly conduct." "As opposed to your blatant cheating?" taunted Akane. "I would hardly call this match orderly conduct." "Ah," replied Yaga, "You forget that there is no cheating when I make the rules. Still, how about this: I'll let you two fight it out for the belt in two weeks. Make whatever sort of match you want, I don't care. You see, I don't care because I have something very special planned for that belt at Reboot. After I'm through with you, you'll wish you had lost it tonight." With a final smile, Yaga's face flickered out. "That's certainly a swerve," announced Daisuke. "We've got what promises to be an interesting title match in two weeks, and some unspecified match for Reboot." Daisuke stared at the camera, trying to figure out how to end the show without Hiroshi's help before going with an old standby. "Anyway, this is Daisuke. Good fight, good night." * * * * * Sitting in the Ultradome hospital, in the same bed that controversial Jack had recently occupied, Hiroshi and Rei were snuggling up together and enjoying a most pleasant activity. Daisuke opened the door. "Hey, Roshi, are you okay?" he asked, before taking in he scene. Then he paused. "You know, there's something wrong with this scene, but I can't quite put it into words." "Oh, hello Dai!" replied his bedridden partner. "Don't worry, I'm fine." "we're having fun eating ice cream," explained Rei. "Wai." monotoned Daisuke (What did you think they were doing? Get your mind out of the gutter already, this is the third time tonight!). "What's the prognosis?" "Oh, the doctors say I'll be fine in a day or two, but until then I shouldn't do anything too mentally straining." Daisuke kindly refrained on commenting about the things his partner would find mentally straining (a line like "Then you'd better not sneeze" wouldn't be a very nice thing to say, no matter how much Hiroshi annoyed him sometimes). "That's good," he said instead. "I hate to admit it, but this Ultra thing is a lot harder without you." "No problem, Dai," said Hiroshi around a mouthful of ice cream. "Just doing my job." "Well, as long as you'll be fine," said Daisuke, "I'll give you a bit of privacy, okay?" "thank you." "Thanks." Daisuke sighed as he walked away. **I need a girlfriend,** he thought. * * * * * She was feared throughout the galaxy as the most deadly pirate ever to grace the stars. Her very name strikes fear into the hearts of all who hear it. The Universe was her oyster, or at least generic crustacean. So what brought her to such a lowly place as the Ultra Bar and Grill? Half off for fighters. "Yo! Gimmie anotha Whyte Serpen Speshial!" she yelled out to any waiter who happened to be in hearing distance (quite far, for her). "Um... are you sure it's all right, Ryoko-san? I mean, you have had a lot to drink already." "Don'ya worry. Ish all offishal-like. See? I's a real Ultra fyghter now. So, like, bring on da sake! No space pirate would pash up an offah like half off! Whoo!" Perhaps we should move elsewhere... * * * * * In a hospital bed not far from Hiroshi, Li Shaoran woke up. He was not exactly a happy camper. "Li, you're awake," began Sakura. "I-" "Don't bother," he said abruptly. "You attacked me in the middle of the fight, and I'm sure we lost because of it." "But, Li, please listen-" "I don't want to listen!" Li almost yelled. "I can't believe you betrayed me! Now get out of here! I never want to see you again!" Sakura Kinomoto ran out of the hospital crying, trying to reasure herself that she had really done the right thing. Well, that wasn't a very happy ending. Maybe somewhere else... * * * * * In another nearby hospital room (this one extra-large), four fighters sat around, nursing wounds and grudges. "I still can't believe I was fooled by Ash," cursed Yaga for the fiftieth time. "That kid is going to pay for this," he grumbled, also for the fiftieth time. "I can't believe you shot me out of the ring, you damn succubus," said Mr. Satan. "Well, if you had held the stupid girl tight instead of letting her get away, it wouldn't have been a problem!" responded an irate Morrigan. "THEY SHALL PAY FOR MAKING A MOCKERY OF THE LEGENDARY HAOHMARU!" "Shut up!" yelled three other voices in unison. Now we're getting there. Let's try another place... * * * * * In yet another large hospital room, another four fighters rested while chatting with several others who weren't as injured. "You're kidding me!" said Shingo. "All three of you spent the match fighting with Sagat?" Team Rocket and Gary nodded, somewhat ashamed. "He was tough!" said James in their defense. "We couldn't let him get through!" added Jessie. "We did get him," said Gary. "Sure, it took us a while, and we had to gang up three-on-one, but we got him. Damnit, how the heck did you beat him, Akane?" "I have no idea," Akane replied. "I'm just glad I did." "I'm glad I managed to get rid of Mousse," said the older Sakura. "Yeah, I heard about that," said Shingo. "You turned him into a duck, right?" "Yep," said Sakura with a smile. "Right after I lured him into the cafeteria. I think he knew what was going to happen as soon as he saw where he was. Man, that look was priceless." "Heh, I'm just glad I was wrong about Alberto," said Ash. "It would have been a real pain, since you guys couldn't find any other Omega fighter." "Hey, Ash," said Akane, "How did you find out about what Yaga was planning?" "Yeah," said Sakura, "You said you didn't have time to explain when you got us. So, spill the beans!" "My ring," replied the young trainer, displaying a ring with a fairly large red-and-white pokeball decoration. "It's a two-way radio. I planted it in Yaga's office when I punched the wall. He's probably removed it by now, but you never know." Various exclamations of "cool" went around the ring. "Do you have any more of those gadgets?" asked Jessie. "A couple. I don't have any others on me, but I've got this boot..." Now we're getting it. Just one more place... * * * * * The Ultradome was quiet. Which was understandable, considering that the show had ended many hours ago and the entire support crew had returned home. In her dressing room, Mary awaited a visitor. She knew he was coming, not because of and powers or abilities, but because of what she knew about people in general and this person in particular. After what happened tonight, he wouldn't be able to go much longer without talking to her. It would nag at him, over and over, and he wouldn't be able to resist forever- "Mary," said Sephiroth as he appeared. "Sephiroth-san, I've been waiting for you." "How did you know I was coming?" he asked. "Did you keep part of your power? Are you hiding something?" "Oh, no, I kept nothing. I knew you were coming because of what I know about you." Pausing for a moment, Sephiroth returned to the matter that brought him here. "I still think this path is foolishness," he said. "This will lead to nothing but destruction." "I don't think so," she replied, "But that old argument isn't what brought you here." "I simply wanted to make sure that you don't think I support you now. It's just that since you don't want to turn back from this idiocy, I might as well help you see it through. On the off chance that you're right, helping you would be the smart thing to do. And, in the much more likely chance that you eventually see things the right way, my way, there might still be a way for you to regain the powers you foolishly threw away. Either way, it would be best for me to prevent you from suffering grievous bodily harm." "Oh?" asked Mary. "Is that really the only reason? To help yourself?" "Of course not. I'm doing this to help you as well. After all, your power is absolute. All rightness and goodness stems from you and what you make of it. I merely wish for you to be the best that you can be." "But, Sephiroth-san, I don't have my power anymore, do I?" When Sephiroth had no answer, Mary opened the door to leave. "I'll see you later, Sephiroth-san. Perhaps we can finish this talk then." Shaking his head, Sephiroth teleported back to his and B-Ko's house. "Sephy- kun, I'm so glad you're back!" said B-Ko as she ran up the stairs from the basement. "I need your advice on my new mecha and what the heck is Xelloss doing making bunny-ears behind your head?" Sephiroth spun around to see the infamous Mazoku standing behind him, with two fingers outstretched where his head used to be. "You had better have a good reason for coming here," said Sephiroth as he readied the most powerful materia he had. "Oh, please, no need to get angry, Sephy-kun. I'm just here to give you what you've dreamed of your entire life!" "A way to keep annoying pests like you out of my house?" said Sephiroth rather nastily. "No, I'm afraid not," said Xelloss, pretending to think. "Well, if that's what you've always dreamed of, I guess I can't help you. And here I was hoping to sway you with offers of world domination and unlimited power. Well, sorry to trouble you. Goodbye!" Sephiroth almost let him go. After all, Xelloss had consistently brought bad things on those who helped him. But Sephiroth couldn't just ignore an offer this good. "Wait," said Sephiroth. "Explain your proposition. I will listen. However, after your previous failures, I expect something exemplary." "Well," began Xelloss, "One day, I was walking around the end of time and guess what I found..." * * * * * "So, I thought to myself, 'Xelloss-kun, I don't mind if I call me kun, do I? No? Good. Anyway, Xelloss-kun, who do you think would really kick rear on your team?' Of course, I knew the answer instantly: Lina and Gourry. 'Problem is,' I said to myself, 'They would never work with me. In fact, they'll probably be working against me. So, what do those two have going for them, anyway? The answer? A perfect combo of magical and physical powers. Now, who do I know who has that combo?'" "If it's not B-Ko and me, I'm about to cut off your head," said Sephiroth. "Well, good thing for me, because you're right on the money!" replied Xelloss. "So, I'll just sign you up, right? I've already got some others in mind for the tag team slots, but you two would make really amazing singles fighters." "No." said Sephiroth. "Yes!" said B-Ko. "Aww, Sephy-kun, what's wrong?" wheedled Xelloss. "You could be the god of a world!" "Yes," said B-Ko as she latched onto his arm, "A whole world that we could rule together for all enternity!" "If you wanted, you could even have one world each and travel between the two!" said Xelloss. "Come on, Sephy-kun, it's what you've been searching for since you came to Ultra! As many big flaming rocks to throw around as you want! More power than you can shake a long phallic sword at! All the vaguely sexual imagery you can dream up!" "But more likely I'll end up dead," replied Sephiroth. "I know your profile, Xelloss. I want power, but not enough to blindly trust you. I understand about the merging, but why should I believe you about the rest?" "Simple, Sephy-kun: it's all about balance. Remember the Godhead and the Answer? Well, not exactly a perfect analogy, what with the Godhead and the Answer being ancient history, but you see what I mean, right?" Sephiroth thought. It did make a certain amount of sense. One last fight between the path Mary had chosen, and the true path, the one he saw. The question was, though, whether or not he believed Xelloss enough to try. No. Never one to mince words, Sephiroth informed his petitioner so quite bluntly. "I still don't don't trust you, Xelloss. Why should I? This sounds plausable, but I KNOW you're holding something back." "Oh, Sephy-kun, your anger hurts me. I'll tell you why you should trust me: I'm a humbled man, you see. Mistakes were made. I didn't quite live up to my own expectations. And thus, I've turned over a new leaf! Xelloss is back and he's ready to work and play well with others! And the way I see it, secrets are counterproductive. Honesty is the best policy! Although to date nobody's quite believed me, which doesn't really matter since the truth is the truth whether you believe in it or not. But it hurts me when they make fun of me. I cry. Honest." Sephiroth thought some more. Logically, it sounded good... but some sixth sense kept giving him big red flashing lights. "Come on, Sephy-kun," persuaded B-Ko. "Think about all the fun we could have together... how nice it would be..." Still, sixth senses were overrated. "You say that you have already recruited Bison and Alberto?" asked Sephiroth. "Yep, they're both ready and raring to go, Sephy-kun!" "Then... I will join you." "Yosh!" cried the Mazoku, confetti popping out of nowhere and fan snapped in front of his face. "Your desire to help your comrades is magnificent!" "Actually, I just believe that with the four of us together, we should be able to kill you the second you try to backstab us," replied Sephiroth. "Aw, you're so mean, Sephy-kun. At least B believes in me, right?" B-Ko stared at him very hard. "Actually, I just thought that me and Sephy wouldn't need any help to beat you if it came down to that." "You two are so mean," sniffed Xelloss. "If you weren't joining up anyway, I'd go off and have a good cry. As it is, I'll just have a mediocre cry. Anyway, just keep this quiet for now, OK? I'll be back later. Yosh! Team Xelloss is forming already!" He struck one last powerpose before teleporting away. "I do not like that... person," said Sephiroth. "I should be happy, but for some reason, this deal seems so..." Sephiroth tried to think of the right word. "Empty? Pointless? Hollow? Unexciting?" "Anti-climactic?" suggested B-Ko. Sephiroth thought about it. "Yes, that seems as good a word as any. I've been searching for this kind of opportunity ever since I came to Ultra, and to have him simply walk up and give it to me... it isn't right." "Well, it doesn't matter, as long as we get our worlds in the end, right?" said B-Ko hopefully. "We can do this easily! Your magic and my mechs will win worlds for the both of us!" "Hmm... I suppose so," said Sephiroth. "Now, what did you need my help on?" B-Ko thought. "Oh, I won't be needing that mech! I'll have to create something better! More powerful! With... more rocket launchers! No, no... energy guns! Yeah, energy guns! It could use..." B-Ko's voice faded away as she ran down the stairs to her mech-lab, visions of destructive firepower dancing in her head. Sephiroth stared after her, thinking. Well, so much for a happy ending... "You know," Sephiroth said to no one in particular, "I think I like my words better than hers." On the other hand... ][ DARSHU owes YAGA a FAVOR ][ ALBERTO is RECRUITED by XELLOSS ][ RYOKO defeats GALLY, and may or may not RETURN ][ SAKURA and SHINGO defeat TEAM CLOW ][ ASH is one sneaky guy, but he sure is GOOD ][ THE TEAM FORMERLY KNOWN AS ROCKET defeats ASH ][ DARSHU defeats YUFFIE painfully, but is not THROUGH WITH HER YET ][ AKANE manages to keep her TITLE against MANY FIGHTERS ][ AKANE will fight RANMA at REBOOT ][ RYOKO is ROARING DRUNK ][ TEAM CLOW is NO MORE ][ SEPHIROTH helps out MARY: he might have a CONSCIENCE ][ SEPHIROTH and B-KO are recruited by XELLOSS as SINGLES FIGHTERS ][ DAVID is BEHIND in SCHOOLWORK Author's Afterword (not that anyone ever reads this): Whew, talk about a rush. Writing a 115K story really takes it out of you... but this is exactly what I needed to break out of my writing stagnation. It was horrible, taxing, time consuming, sleep-stealing, and I'd do it again in a second. Thanks go out to everyone who beta-read this thing. Bonus thanks go out to Twoflower and Lurker (for putting up with me). Sorry if I made any mistakes (if... HA!). I'm also sorry about some of the fight scenes just not working. Not sure which ones, but with my writing, I'm sure some of them are junk. You would not believe the problems I went through to get this thing done: my computer on a huge fritz, such that Notepad doesn't work, Wordpad doesn't work, and (wonders of wonders) Microsoft Word doesn't work, which means no spell-checking. Considering I have as much spelling talent as Xelloss has morals, well... please forgive the mistakes. Also forgive my parenthesis- riddled, excessively triple-doted (..., whatever those are called) writing style, where "style" is used loosely. Oh yeah, what did I eventually end up writing this thing on? Geocities Advanced HTML Editor. AKA, useless piece of junk. I'd like to spend another few hours polishing this, but I have to leave (very) early tomorrow for a Tae Kwon Do tournament. Yep, this chapter is written by an actual martial artist (black belt, no less), not that it helps. The biggest way this thing was influenced by my real life experiences is the quickness with which most fighters get knocked out. It comes from being kicked around on a weekly basis (trust me, after a good kick to the head, you won't be standing up). Anyway, (notice my overuse of that, too?) we'd better go out on one last joke. HIROSHI: Hey, Dai, can you think of anything more pathetic than plugging your homepage at the end of your improfic chapter? DAISUKE: Not at the moment, Roshi. Why? HIROSHI: Oh, no reason. http://www.geocities.com/the_hfil See ya round, guys, it's been fun! Lurker, the baton is now yours. Make of it what you will.